creation is the act of will

by palmaceae

John's life with the Wayne family is more than enough, until it isn't. [set post-TDKR; sequel to love is the root of creation]

1. Chapter 1

John finds out that Bruce is back in Gotham when he comes back to the Batcave one night after skulking around the city and finds him sitting at the computer terminal. He had found out Bruce was alive right after Selina had departed Gotham, thanks to Gordon, who had found out from Lucius, who had heard from Alfred, whom Bruce had texted a few days after he "died" dealing with the bomb, so it wasn't a massive shock.

He almost doesn't recognize Bruce - he has a short beard and an air of relaxation around him.

He tries to think of something witty to say since he hasn't seen Bruce in nearly a year, but instead his smart mouth comes up with "What's with the beard?"

It's a nice beard; John is jealous because his prior attempts at beards have been patchy and unattractive.

"Selina has a thing for facial hair."

If they're fucking, that explains the relaxation.

"Oh, so you guys are still…" he waves his hand around, hoping that makes his point without him having to say it.

"Still what?" asks Bruce.

Damn.

"I dunno, but she cried a lot when she thought you were dead."

"She cried in front of you?" Bruce says.

John is offended.

"I can be very comforting, I'll have you know."

Bruce looks suspicious.

"How comforting?"

Oh shit, he was on the money, they're banging, and John fucked Bruce Wayne's girlfriend, and will Bruce understand that they thought he was dead, and is he going to make it out of this cave alive?

"I have an excellent shoulder to cry on. Here, feel it." He grabs his own shoulder and squeezes it. "It's nice and warm, and the ladies sob their eyes out on it and tell me what a great listener I am, and then they go out and fuck someone else. So ultimately, it's a pretty useless, but excellent, shoulder."

Bruce looks puzzled, and John is relieved that he seems to have thrown him off the scent.

John hears footsteps. He turns around and sees Selina making her way towards them.

Selina is wearing a tank top and pajama pants, and her hair is a mess. He takes in the massive diamond on her left hand and the baby she's holding against her breasts - wait, a baby? There's a baby? John doesn't know how old it is, but it's definitely too big to be a newborn. The baby is pretty bald, with a few wisps of dark hair, and one little fist is hanging out from under Selina's arm. He can't see its face, and the yellow onesie it's wearing doesn't help him determine the gender.

"I thought you were sleeping," says Bruce.

"I was. This one, on the other hand…" She kisses the baby's head.

"So this is where the magic happens, huh?" says Selina.

John ignores her and points at the baby.

"What?"

Bruce takes the baby out of Selina's arms and holds it facing John. The baby sleepily blinks at John.

"Blake, this is Helena. Helena, this is Blake." Bruce picks up Helena's little hand and holds it out to John.

John puts his finger into Helena's hand, and she curls her fingers around it. He moves his finger up and down, like they're shaking hands.

"Uh, nice to meet you, Helena." He feels stupid, but Bruce looks pleased. He shifts the baby in his arms, and she releases John's finger.

Bruce snuggles the baby and starts showing her around.

"That's Daddy's computer - "

John sidles up to Selina and hisses in her ear.

"That's not mine, is it?"

" - That's Daddy's grappling hook -"

Selina looks disgusted. "Of course not," she hisses back.

"How old is, uh, Helena?" asks John.

"Six months tomorrow," says Bruce without skipping a beat. "And that's Daddy's motorcycle -"

He quickly does the math. Nope, kid is too old. Thank god.

" - I wish I could take you flying, but that is way too dangerous. Maybe when you're ten. Actually, twenty-one. Actually, absolutely not, you never saw the Bat, we are going back upstairs right now, young lady."

"Man, he has it bad," he says to Selina. Her face softens, and she smiles.

"Yes," she says.

---

"Why did you come back?" he asks Bruce a few days later in the Batcave.

Bruce is examining the suit that John has cobbled together - it's very dark blue with black trim. "Still a cop," sneered Selina when she'd seen it.

"After Helena was born, we drifted around Europe for a while. It was nice, but we knew that eventually we were going to have to settle down somewhere for her and figure out what to do with ourselves. Then Lucius had that health scare, and Wayne Enterprises needed me… I realized Gotham still needed me, not as Batman, but as Bruce, and maybe I needed Gotham too."

He pulls on John's cape, absently testing its strength.

"And you. It was selfish of me to toss all this -" he waves his hand around "- at you without getting you ready. I trained for years to become Batman, and no offense, but the police academy isn't exactly on par with the League of Shadows. I'm sorry it took this long to come back and help you."

"It's fine," says John, and it really is. He needed to spend a year trying to fill Batman's shoes and failing spectacularly most of the time before admitting that he could use the help. Bruce being there from the start would not have gone well.

"What's the plan for Wayne Enterprises?"

"Lucius needs to retire, but he refuses to do it unless I take over from him."

He picks up John's cowl and slams it onto the counter. He nods approvingly when it doesn't shatter. "Never thought I'd actually run Wayne Enterprises myself."

"And I never thought I'd meet Batman, but here we are," says John.

"You really wanted to meet me that badly?"

"We worshipped Batman at the orphanage."

Bruce shakes his head.

"How old are you, Blake?"

"Twenty-seven."

"I forgot how young you are."

"Because you're so old? What are you, forty now?"

"Forty-one," says Bruce.

"Practically at death's door."

Bruce huffs and changes the subject.

"I'm going to change Wayne Enterprises' primary focus to social entrepreneurship. I came across some fascinating projects in Europe that have the potential to change people's lives, make a profit, and not be used as weapons. The Wayne Foundation needs to be up and running again, and after Bane, there's a lot to do for Gotham's infrastructure."

"What'll Selina do?"

"I'm not sure. I'm thinking of giving her the Wayne Foundation to run."

"From stealing money to doling it out? That'll be a change."

"She's not so bad," says Bruce.

"I know," says John. "But just because you wiped her records doesn't mean I forgot about her past."

He reaches out and takes the grappling gun out of Bruce's hands.

"I made some mods to this," he says. Bruce watches as he demonstrates.

"What are you calling yourself?"

"I don't know yet. Not Batman, that's for sure. I've been doing some brainstorming, just throwing together words."

He tosses a notepad at Bruce.

"Those are some of the top contenders."

Bruce reads through the list.

"Bluebird? But robins are grey and orange."

"Well, I like blue."

"Eh. Too cheerful. Black Hood sounds like an executioner. Nightwing though… it's got a certain ring to it. I can imagine that on the front page of the Gotham Enquirer."

"I'd rather imagine it on the front page of the Gotham Times, thank you very much."

"It'll be on both," says Bruce, and he claps John on the shoulder.

"So where do we start?" asks John.

"From the beginning. Give me fifty push-ups. You have," he checks his watch, "one minute, starting now."

"Fifty?" says John.

"Make that sixty."

John closes his mouth and hurriedly drops to the ground.

---

He wears a lot of hats these days. He spends a good amount of time at St. Swithin's Home for Boys, interacting with the kids and making sure everything runs smoothly. At night, he trains with Bruce or works on rooting out the bad guys in Gotham. His official job, the one that would pay the bills, if he had any, is Bruce's assistant. Alfred calls him "Batman's batman," which he doesn't get until he looks it up.

He lives in one of the wings of Wayne Manor. He moved in two months after Bruce and Selina came back to Gotham. Quitting the police force and working as a bartender gave him the time and flexibility he needed to practice and go out as Nightwing, but he regularly struggled to pay rent and buy groceries. He had been too proud to ask Bruce for help. Bruce didn't notice anything was wrong; turns out when you have billions, you don't think about money. But Selina wasn't too far from her days of living on the streets, and she put together the pieces and told Bruce to get his head out of his ass.

Bruce offered him a suite of rooms at the manor with its own private entrance, rent free, of course. Access to the main kitchen included, meaning John never had to shop or cook again if he so chose. Bruce couched the offer in terms of how beneficial it would be for him if John lived closer. John appreciated the effort Bruce had put into his story (and the logic), so he accepted. A few days later, Bruce brought him to his office at Wayne Enterprises and had him sign a contract, thus ensuring him an income.

Bruce had also given him a car. John had bitched to Selina about his car falling apart, and the next day, Bruce tossed him the keys to a charcoal grey Maserati Ghibli Trofeo. John nearly came in his pants when he saw the car.

It's a sick ride. The boys at St. Swithin's all beg him to take them for a drive, the ladies fan themselves when they see him pull up in it (even Selina admits he looks pretty fucking hot in that car), and John loves the shit out of it. When he has some free time, he likes to take the car out to the middle of nowhere and drive at top speed down abandoned highways.

Bruce usually gets chauffeured around in the Rolls-Royce when he's working, as it fits the respectable image he's projecting. He'll also grab that when he's with Helena. But when he takes Selina to dinner or has to go to an event, he takes the Lamborghini.

He doesn't let John put a finger on that car. Selina's the only other person who ever gets to drive it because Bruce lets her steal his keys, and he's certain it's only because the thought of Selina driving that car gets Bruce off.

Sometimes, he wishes Bruce had gotten him a Lamborghini, but he knows that would have been impractical, and anyway, he should be grateful for the disgustingly expensive amazing car he has.

Bruce would've gotten Selina a sexy car too, but she declined and bought a silver Lexus SUV instead.

John tried to turn down the car. It was just too much, after everything Bruce had given him. He just needed to fix up his old car, that's all.

"You deserve it," Bruce said, and he refused to discuss it any further.

---

John is there when Bruce and Selina get married. One of the privileged few; him, Alfred, Lucius, Commissioner Gordon (Bruce really needs some friends his own age), a few of Selina's closest friends, and of course, Helena.

Helena is nine months old and his date to the wedding. He actually has a nice time with her. One of his better dates. She even laughs at his jokes. Okay, more like gurgles, but still.

He had moved into Wayne Manor a month ago, and on the day of the wedding, he awakens to Alfred barging into his rooms and thrusting a howling Helena at him. Half awake, he holds Helena against his bare chest and tries to figure out what's going on.

"Master Blake, there's been a change of plans. I need your help."

The babysitter and the babysitter backup had both canceled - there was a virus going around the agency they'd been recruited from, and Alfred simply did not have the time to find anyone else on top of making the day happen. Bruce has an emergency meeting at Wayne Enterprises, Selina's been at her bachelorette party since last night, and no other guests are arriving until later, so John it is. She's already had breakfast, there's an inch-thick reference guide for any questions, and he isn't to disturb Alfred unless Helena seems in danger of losing her life.

After he gets Helena to stop crying by zooming her around like an airplane, he turns on the television to keep her busy while he throws on some clothes. Apparently, using the TV as a babysitter is A Very Bad Thing according to the rule book, but hey, who's going to tell?

"Our little secret," he tells Helena, who seems to be enjoying Sesame Street.

The first diaper change is a disaster, the second one is okay, and by the third, he's impressed with himself for catching on so quickly. She doesn't seem interested in her morning snack of Cheerios, so John starts eating them instead and then she's interested, so he hands her a Cheerio. She puts it in her mouth. He tries to hand her a second one, but she pushes it back at him, so he eats it instead. She accepts the third Cheerio, and after that John alternates between handing her Cheerios and eating them.

The ceremony is in the gardens behind the house. He takes Helena there after lunch so they can watch the florists set up. The florists give Helena some roses to play with, and she crawls around in the grass and tries to eat rose petals.

He realizes after that letting Helena play outside was probably a bad idea. He doesn't think there's enough time to figure out how to give her a bath, so he strips her down, gingerly soaps the visibly dirty spots, and holds her under the showerhead.

He dries her off and wrestles her into a disgustingly adorable light pink tulle and lace dress that probably costs more than his last car's yearly payments and a headband covered in convincingly real-looking fake flowers.

He figures he should try to keep her quiet during the ceremony, so he pops a pacifier into her mouth - another big no-no according to the book of rules.

By the time the guests arrive, she's napping on his shoulder. No one is stupid enough to try to wake the sleeping baby.

Selina is wearing a strapless, skin-tight mermaid gown studded with pearls, pearl earrings, and a pearl necklace. He's sensing a theme.

Bruce is back to being clean shaven. Selina had begged him to keep the beard for the wedding, but he hadn't felt it conveyed the professional image he needed for returning to Wayne Enterprises. He's wearing a black Armani tux. So is John, for that matter. Despite his protests, after moving in, Alfred had gone through his clothes, declared that it was unacceptable for anyone associated with Bruce Wayne to be dressed so shoddily, and had a tailor come to the house. Within two weeks, he had a tux, several suits, and a variety of more casual pieces.

Helena stays asleep until halfway through the ceremony when she wakes up, pulls the pacifier out of her mouth, and chooses that moment to loudly say "dada" for the first time.

Bruce nearly abandons Selina at the proverbial alter to run to Helena, but Selina glares at him and he stays put.

"Wow," says John to Helena. "What a daddy's girl. Can't even let him get married without causing a scene." Helena babbles back at him, but at least she does it quietly.

Finally, the ceremony concludes, and Bruce dips Selina and kisses her. Helena claps and screams "dada" along with everyone else.

Bruce scoops Selina up in his arms and carries her down the aisle, probably to show off how well he's been doing in physical therapy.

He puts Selina down next to John and trades her in for Helena.

"Who's an amazing, smart, beautiful girl?" says Bruce. "Who? Who?"

"Me?" suggests Selina.

Bruce tickles Helena until she giggles, and then he tosses her over his shoulder and goes to talk to Gordon.

"How's it going?" asks John.

"I'm being upstaged by my daughter at my own wedding," says Selina dryly.

"Must be why they tell people to get married and then have kids," says John.

Selina punches him in the arm and then kisses him on both of his cheeks.

After that, Helena and him are best buds. She calls him "On-on" until she figures out how to say the letter J. He calls her his hellcat and watches Alfred bit his tongue every time he hears it.

Sometimes, he looks at Helena and thinks about how if he had fucked Selina just a few months earlier, she'd have been his. Not that he wants Selina as the mother of his children - that's Bruce's neurosis, not his - but Helena is an awesome kid.

---

Selina declines to run the Wayne Foundation.

"Not my style," she says. "I'm more of a hands-on kind of girl."

She spends months drifting around Gotham, trying to find her place as Mrs. Selina Wayne: mother, wife, and really fucking rich person.

The rich are different. This is something both John and Selina knew before meeting Bruce but being on the other side of it is bewildering. Selina has had more time to adjust to it than John, but it's still very new for her, and she has to deal with far more of this shit than John does.

"People look at you differently," says Selina. She complains to John because who else would understand?

"Yes! Like you have money coming out of your ears, and if they can just get close enough, they can grab a few bills."

"Like they give a shit about your opinion."

"Like you're incapable of wiping your own ass."

There are all these stupid unwritten rules. Like when Fox makes Bruce come with him to some big-ass charity event. Misery loves company, so Bruce makes Selina and John come too. Fox decides to ride with them at the last minute, so that means the Rolls-Royce instead of Bruce and Selina in the Lamborghini.

Normally, Alfred would drive, but since they don't have a nanny that Bruce and Selina whole-heartedly trust yet, he stays home with Helena. That leaves John to play chauffeur, because God forbid Bruce Wayne be seen driving anyone other than his wife. Alfred is very clear about that point; there are rules if you want to be seen as respectable, which is what Bruce is working on cultivating after all the shenanigans he's pulled over the years.

The paparazzi are onto them the second Bruce steps out of the car with his cane. It's not that Bruce can't walk without a cane these days as much as how much he'll regret it the next day, especially if he's physically overexerting himself.

John recalls that this is Bruce's first public appearance in years, and Selina's first ever. When Bruce helps her out of the car, the paparazzi go wild.

Selina looks like a deer in headlights. No one pays much attention to Lucius or John.

"They've got rings! Mr. Wayne, is this your wife? When did you get married? Who's the lucky lady?" the paparazzi yell.

Bruce had encouraged Selina to play it up for the paparazzi. Bruce's logic is that if they don't give the paparazzi something interesting once in a while, they'll find something interesting. John kind of gets it; it's another form of misdirection, like the playboy persona was.

Selina is wearing a black dress with an asymmetrical neckline and a zippered slit that goes all the way up her thigh, coupled with knee-high black gladiator sandals. It's a daring look, one not shared by most of the other women attending.

Bruce wraps his arm around Selina's waist and kisses her. The cameras flash. He pulls back and takes her hand.

"Yes, this is my wife," he says, looking into her eyes and smiling, and he leads Selina inside without further comment.

The food is amazing, even if it's all tiny little pieces. John doesn't realize he's committing some faux pas by making a nice big stack of them on a plate until Fox amusedly murmurs in his ear that hors d'oeuvres are for nibbling, not stockpiling, and he sees no one else has nearly as many on their plate. He hurriedly devours half the plate and checks to make sure the amount is more appropriate now.

Two beautiful women are coming his way. He assumes they're just passing by, but they stop in front of him and smile.

"Hello, I'm Laura Travis St. August," says the first one, an older blonde in blue.

"I'm Clara St. August," says the second one, a young brunette in gold. He guesses they're mother and daughter.

"Uh, I'm John. John Blake."

"You're here with Bruce Wayne, aren't you?" purrs Laura.

"Yes."

Laura links her arm through his. Her perfume smells amazing. The woman is probably old enough to be his mother, but damn, the rich age well. She's got quite a rack on her.

"It's so nice to see Bruce again. He makes himself so scarce."

John wonders how Bruce would take to this random woman calling him by his first name. He's noticed that Bruce gets tetchy when people he's not close with try to use his first name to ingratiate themselves with him.

"I knew his mother, Martha, may she rest in peace, that poor woman."

John doesn't know how to respond to that, but Laura doesn't seem to need him to.

Laura strokes his arm.

"I hear Bruce is going to be taking over as CEO at Wayne Enterprises. So thrilling, I know his father would be so pleased."

Is this how people always fawn over Bruce? It's insufferable.

"My Clara just graduated Radcliffe with her liberal arts degree. Summa cum laude, of course."

"Congrats," says John. Clara smiles in response, and he takes a look at her chest. She's got a great rack too, in fact just as good as her mother's… wait a second, their breasts look exactly the same. That can't be genetics, that must be surgery.

"She's looking for the right place for her first job, and when I saw Bruce, I said to her, 'Why Clara, with Bruce back at Wayne Enterprises, I'm sure he'd be happy to do his mother's old friend a favor.'"

Oh, now Martha and Laura were old friends. Interesting. Next they'll probably be cousins.

"Any chance you can arrange something for her? She's a very talented young lady."

"It would be such a pleasure to work... under Mr. Wayne. I'm up for anything," says Clara. "Anything." From the look in her eye, John doesn't think she means typing.

"Takes after me, I suppose," laughs Laura. She runs her finger down John's cheek and leans in to whisper in his ear.

"I'd be ever so grateful." She gently nibbles his earlobe.

John shivers - he has an idea of how grateful she would be.

"I'll see what I can do," says John, not because he has any intention to, but because Laura strikes him as a woman who won't take no for an answer.

Laura drops a kiss on his cheek and lets her lips graze the side of his mouth. She presses a business card in his hand. "Do let me know, either way," she says. "Maybe there are some things I can do for you."

She lets him go, and she and her daughter saunter away. John stands there for a while, trying to process what just happened.

Selina pops up next to him.

"This party is so bad I'm actually glad to see you," she says.

"I think someone just tried to pimp out their daughter to Bruce," says John.

"Who?"

He points the two of them out.

"What the fuck is wrong with these people?" Selina growls.

She grabs a glass of champagne off a passing waiter's tray.

"Aren't you not supposed to be drinking?"

Selina takes a long sip of champagne.

"Some old guy patted me on the ass. This is the only way I'm making it through the rest of this evening. Helena can have formula tomorrow. It's either drinking or stealing."

She holds up a wallet.

"Oops. It's drinking and stealing."

John grabs the wallet and shoves it into his jacket, hopefully before anyone saw it.

"Selina, no!"

She makes a face at him and drains her glass.

"Is this the kind of role model you want to be for your daughter?"

That penetrates her skull.

"Fine," she says. She fishes a bracelet out of her bra and tosses it to him. "Take that too."

"Anything else?"

"No."

John drops the bracelet onto a nearby empty table. He taps a passing waiter on the shoulder and turns the wallet over to them.

John spots Bruce and Fox across the room. He points them out, and they watch the two of them work the room.

"He's such a good actor," says Selina.

"Mostly," says John. "I saw right through him."

"People see what they expect to see. I certainly did."

"What did you see?"

"At first? An easy mark."

"I never did get the full story about how you and Bruce met."

"Stole his mother's pearls."

"And that got him all hot and bothered?"

"No, that was probably when I stole his car."

"The Lamborghini? No way."

Selina smirks and stumbles a little. John puts his arm out to steady her.

Selina fans herself a little. "I think the alcohol has gone straight to my head."

John threads him arm through hers. "Let's get you something to eat."

He gets her sitting at a table and, through sheer force of will, gets her to eat a few bites of the best crab puffs he's ever tasted, but she doesn't seem too impressed with them.

"What am I doing, Blake?"

"Eating crab puffs."

"I don't belong here," sighs Selina.

"Me either. Yet here we are."

"I feel like arm candy."

"Haven't you been to tons of these things as arm candy to steal from people?"

"Yes, but I wasn't there to be arm candy, I was there to steal."

"You think you're here as arm candy?"

"What else are we here for?"

"We?"

"You don't look half bad in that suit yourself."

"You're drunk."

"Just tipsy."

"He brought us to keep him company, and we are doing a shitty job at it. I don't think this is easy for him either. Even if he makes it look easy."

"Even if I make what look easy?" asks Bruce from behind them.

"Mingling," says John.

"It's an acquired skill," says Bruce. He holds his hand out to Selina. "Would you care to dance, Mrs. Wayne?"

"If I don't, someone else will," says Selina irritably as she drags herself out of her chair. Bruce tosses his cane at John to hold.

John watches them dance. Selina looks irritated for a while, but the music changes to something slower, and Bruce pulls her close, and Selina can't help but melt against him.

John sees Clara and Laura watching, and then he realizes that nearly everyone is watching Bruce Wayne, one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in the world, slow dance with his wife.

Everyone is always watching him. What a life. John doesn't envy him.

---

Selina stumbles into her calling via her friend, Jen. Jen is not doing well; Selina goes to see her one day and finds out she's pregnant and in a women's shelter hiding from her ex-boyfriend, Adam.

Selina is furious. At Jen for not coming to her for help, at Adam for being an abusive shithead, at the shitty shelter that did a shitty job of keeping Adam away and was dirty and understaffed.

She takes Jen home and installs her in Wayne Manor. Bruce isn't thrilled, but he relents when Selina details the state of the shelter that she found Jen in.

After Selina had come back to Gotham, her role in Jen's life had consisted of getting Jen jobs that she didn't show up to, begging Jen to see a psychiatrist, and occasionally bailing her out of jail for larceny.

"What's your deal with Jen?" asks John after Selina bails Jen out for the third time that year.

"I met her on the streets when she was sixteen. I recruited her as a distraction for a job. She did good work. God, she looked so pitiful. That was the whole point, but it worked on me too. I wasn't doing spectacularly well at that point either, but I had a warm place to sleep, so I took her home with me. I've been looking out for her ever since."

John gets it. And now, with Jen pregnant, Selina is done asking Jen to get her shit together and has decided to try the new tactic of forcing Jen.

It's a full-time project for Selina. She drags Jen to and from the obstetrician, therapist, psychiatrist, and GED classes. She sees Jen is making progress when Jen asks for additional therapy appointments and starts to take her medications without being nagged.

Jen's ex-boyfriend makes the mistake of showing up outside of Jen's school one day when Selina is dropping her off.

The way Selina tells the story, Adam showed up screaming at Jen and threatening to kill Jen unless she came back to him. As Adam was running past the driver's side to get to Jen, Selina accidentally opened her car door into him hard enough to knock him to the floor. Adam then tried attack her, and it was self-defense after that.

Witness reports seemed to indicate it was more like Selina grinning as she viciously beat the shit out of a guy who couldn't get up from the ground after she kicked him in the back. She managed to get off with just community service and an order to attend anger management classes after the judge considered her clean record, the restraining order on Adam, and the bruise on Jen's face from the one punch Adam managed to land. She'd probably have been able to walk away scot-free if Bruce had asked Gordon to intervene, but Bruce was irritated enough by the whole thing to let Selina stew in her own juices.

"Maybe next time, don't beat up people in front of six witnesses in broad daylight without a mask?" suggests John.

"True," says Selina. "That was stupid. I should have broken into his apartment and made it look like he got in the way of a burglar."

"Don't you dare," barks Bruce, "or I swear to God, I will start chaining you up at night."

"Promise?" asks Selina, batting her eyelashes at him.

"And you won't like it," finishes Bruce. "Find something more constructive to do about Adam."

Jen's baby is a boy she names Derrick, and Adam ends up in jail the second time he violates his restraining order. The cops find a nice assortment of drugs in his car trunk after the arrest, which gets him a few years in the clinker. Adam insists he was set up, that he wasn't a drug dealer, but no one believes him, except for John and Bruce; Selina totally set Adam up. Bruce chooses not to make a fuss about it since Selina had, indeed, done as he asked and found something more constructive and non-violent to do about Adam.

Selina settles Jen and Derrick into a nice apartment, but it becomes clear that Jen can't handle living on her own, so Selina installs her permanently in the staff quarters at Wayne Manor, and there's another child around to keep Helena company.

Selina chooses to do her community service at the shelter she found Jen at, and by the time she finishes her court-ordered work, the shelter director is begging her to come on as her second-in-command. Selina takes the job but tells them to keep the salary. She takes Jen with her as an office assistant.

Bruce is so thrilled by this development that he funds the renovation of the shelter, buys the building next door for them to expand into, and names the whole new complex after Helena. When the director retires a few years later, it's only natural that Selina takes over.

---

Training with Bruce is the hardest thing John has ever done. Lucius and Bruce agreed that Bruce would take over Wayne Enterprises by the end of the year. That leaves Bruce nine months to intensively train John while Bruce slowly transitions into his new role.

"I wish we could do this properly," says Bruce.

"Define properly," says John, lying on the floor and rubbing his hip after Bruce kicked his leg out from under him for the third time in a row. Today is all about learning how to fall properly. He's going to be one giant bruise by the time they're done.

"Dedicated instructors all specializing in different things, plenty of other bodies so you could get used to dealing with multiple assailants at once. No need to hide that you were training, being in the middle of nowhere with no other distractions. The hallucinogens – "

"Hey!"

"I'm not going to drug you, Blake. I couldn't get what they were using, I probably destroyed the last source in the world. But it was the perfect environment for this kind of work."

Bruce sounds wistful.

"You miss being there?"

"Sometimes."

"What do you miss?" Anything to get a break from the falling, plus John is genuinely curious.

"The focus, the drive. Feeling like you had a righteous purpose. Everything was very clear. Ducard."

"Ducard? You mean Ra's al Ghul?"

"I didn't know he was Ra's until he showed up in Gotham. I knew him as Ducard. He was my teacher. We were very close, or so I thought."

Bruce sounds sad. John sits up.

"You want to talk about it?"

"I don't think I've ever talked about him with anyone," says Bruce.

"Maybe you should?" suggests John. "I mean, it doesn't have to be me, but talking is… good," he finishes, feeling a bit stupid. He kind of hopes that Bruce will talk to him. He wants to know more about Bruce's training now that he's going through his own, and Ducard is like his grand-teacher.

Bruce gets down on the floor next to him. Apparently, it's story time.

"So I was in prison in Bhutan when I met Ducard…"

---

Alfred and Lucius team up and drop by the Batcave one evening to insist that Bruce hold an event to commemorate becoming CEO. Bruce doesn't want to.

"I thought once I dropped the whole playboy act I would get to be done with parties," Bruce argues.

John is half-listening from his position on the floor as he does a one-handed elbow lever. He hadn't seen the point of balance exercises; it wasn't like he was doing ballet on the street, but Bruce maintained they were crucial to fighting well. John has to admit that he feels more confident going hand-to-hand after Bruce started working on core basics.

"You were mistaken. The main difference is instead of chasing women, you'll be chasing investors," says Alfred.

"Breathe, Blake," says Bruce. John didn't even realize he was holding his breath. He exhales loudly.

"Can't I hire someone to do that for me?"

"A Bruce Wayne body double for parties?" says Lucius. "We should have thought of this years ago. Where do we find one?"

Bruce lightly taps him in the stomach with his foot. John focuses on tightening his core.

"It's a pity Master Blake can't do it," says Alfred.

"Too bad he's so short," says Lucius. Lucius has been enjoying making fun of him ever since he'd had to rejigger the seat and controls in the Bat to accommodate his height.

"I am three inches shorter than Bruce. My height is perfectly respectable," says John between clenched teeth.

"Relax your body," orders Bruce. "I don't want to see any shaking."

"That's impossible," grunts John.

Bruce sighs, unbuttons his shirt and takes it off, kicks off his shoes, and gets down on the floor in front of him.

"When are you going to stop disagreeing with everything I say?"

"Never?" says John.

After a false start (which is how John knows Bruce is distracted), Bruce is demonstrating the perfect elbow lever. Damn him.

"So, Mr. Wayne, how about that party?" asks Lucius.

"Fine. Whatever you think is best. Go away." Bruce closes his eyes.

"What are you doing?" says John.

"If certain people would shut up, I'd stay like this for the next ten minutes and meditate on how much more relaxing this is than kissing ass at corporate parties."

Lucius and Alfred beat a hasty retreat, their mission accomplished.

And that's exactly what Bruce proceeds to do. After a few minutes watching Bruce across from him, he feels his muscles start to relax in imitation, and he tries to remember some of the meditation that Bruce taught him. He closes his eyes. He doesn't know how long he's floated in this quiet place in his mind until Bruce taps him on the shoulder.

"You can stop."

John puts his other hand down and slowly lowers himself; Bruce hates it when he messily drops to the ground.

"Really good form, Blake."

John hauls himself off the floor. Wow, he got a "really" today. He must have nailed it.

He tries to move the wrist he was balancing on. Bad choice.

"I think my wrist is broken."

"It's not."

"You don't know that."

"Stop disagreeing with everything I say," says Bruce again, lighter this time.

Bruce takes his wrist and digs his fingers into it. John gasps in pain and tries to pull away, but Bruce keeps hold.

"Better?" asks Bruce after a few minutes of rubbing.

"Yes," mumbles John. Bruce continues rubbing his wrist for another minute. It's a surprisingly intimate gesture that sends a shiver through him.

"I'm too easy on you," says Bruce, letting go of his wrist.

"Oh my god, here we go," says John. "When Ra's al Ghul trained me, I had to climb a mountain in the snow in tattered shoes with no food, and when I arrived at the monastery, I barely had time to catch my breath before they started beating the shit out of me. They broke two ribs - "

"Three," interrupts Bruce.

"Three ribs, dislocated my shoulder, bruised my kidneys, and I literally could not move for a week. You have it so easy, Blake, no one's dropping you into an iced-over lake in heavy clothing and letting you drown for a few minutes for kicks or making you live in the barracks sleeping on a wood floor with twenty other guys who smell like goat shit and don't shower during the winter and of course, you have to share blankets."

Bruce starts chuckling.

"That's not how I sound."

"Yes, Bruce, yes, it is. The League of Shadows were a bunch of sadistic motherfuckers who probably jerked off at night after hazing new recruits to the point of internal bleeding. I tried to join a frat once, I've seen how it goes."

"Have you considered doing stand-up?" says Bruce. "You're surprisingly funny once you get going."

"No," snaps John. "Yes. Apparently only cops think I'm funny, everyone else just booes me off stage."

Bruce changes the topic.

"You'll come to the stupid CEO thing?" asks Bruce.

"Um, sure, if you want me to."

"You can help keep me awake during the speeches, talk about the bunch of sadistic motherfuckers holding us hostage in the name of civility. Every member of the board is going to need their thirty minutes in the spotlight."

"The sacrifices you make for Gotham," says John.

"Yes!" says Bruce, but for once he's laughing instead of brooding about it.

---

Bruce insists on John accompanying him every time he leaves Wayne Tower on business for his first few months as CEO.

"I know it's going to take time away from your other duties, but I'd be more comfortable with you there."

John gets it. Bruce is getting used to a new role, new routines, new faces, and he wants at least one familiar thing that he can cling to. He also knows that Bruce is uneasy after a recent assassination attempt on a Norwegian philanthropist visiting the United States. Selina joins them sometimes, but usually she stays home with Helena so at least one parent is there all the time.

There are visits around Gotham to the usual suspects: city officials, politicians, photo ops. They fly down to DC to rub shoulders with USAID and even more politicians. John sits in on everything: the boring, the interesting, and the downright ridiculous. Bruce introduces him as his executive assistant and refuses to kick him out no matter how sensitive the material being discussed.

Bruce even has a brief meeting with the president, who seems pretty damn cool and invites them to come back later that day for a basketball game. Bruce is surprisingly shitty at basketball, but John played it a lot at the orphanage and manages to score a few points.

They travel to London, New Delhi, Lagos, São Paulo, The Hague, and Beijing. John had never even left the country before this. They travel via private jet, of course, and John starts getting laid a lot.

Bruce is really good about getting John laid. The number of women that hit on Bruce on a weekly basis is ridiculous; his wedding ring doesn't seem to be a deterrent to them. Bruce is beyond uninterested.

"First of all, I'd like Selina not to castrate me. Second, contrary to popular belief, I don't enjoy having a new woman every day. It gets tiresome and lonely very quickly. I've tried it. I'd rather be with just the one."

"How about I try it out myself and let you know?" says John.

"If that's what you want," says Bruce.

The first time Bruce passes a woman along to him is their trip to New Delhi. One of the flight attendants is a delightful dark-skinned beauty who was down to fuck.

She leans over while pouring Bruce coffee, her blouse artfully unbuttoned to give him an eyeful of cleavage, but Bruce doesn't even look up from what he's reading.

"No thanks," Bruce says, like he's declining a second glass of wine, "but I'm sure my assistant is interested."

"Who, me?" sputters John.

"I don't see anyone else," says the flight attendant, whose name is Devi. Devi sits herself down on John's lap.

"You're cute," she purrs, pressing her breasts into his face.

"And you're… really pretty," he stupidly says, his voice muffled by her breasts.

Devi giggles. "Thanks."

She kisses him and he nearly topples out of his seat. He grabs onto Devi to balance himself, and she giggles and kisses him more.

"Out," orders Bruce. He waves his hand in the direction of the back of the plane, where there are a few small bedrooms.

Devi stands up and pulls John by the hand.

"It's my first time on this plane, maybe you can show me around?" she cooes, batting her eyelashes at him.

John awkwardly stumbles on his way out of the main cabin, but Devi doesn't seem to notice.

When he comes back an hour later, still stunned by his good fortune, his hair a mess and his clothes disheveled after he joined the Mile High Club with Devi, all Bruce has to say is, "Hope you used a condom. Those women will do anything to sink their claws into rich guys."

"I'm not rich."

Bruce turns a page.

"When you're with me, they think you are."

---

They're in Lagos when Bruce's very first assassination attempt happens. Bruce is scheduled to meet with the Nigerian president and is on his way to an early morning briefing before the meeting, at a government building near Aso Villa.

As they approach the entrance, John gets a bad feeling about this. He jogs over to Park, the head of Bruce's security team.

"There's something wrong," says John.

"Kid, I don't tell you how to do your job, and you don't tell me how to do mine. Capisce?"

What the hell? He's pretty sure Bruce told Park that John's opinion carries some weight around here.

"We need to recon before we go in there," says John. Park ignores him and walks away. John turns around and looks for Bruce. Bruce is a minute or so away from reaching the entrance.

"Bruce," he yells and starts heading over to him. Park grabs for him, but John sidesteps him. Park lunges, this time making contact, and puts him in a headlock. With hardly any thought, John flips Park over his head and slams him into the floor. The four other members of the team follow Park's lead and try to take him down. He hasn't taken on this many opponents at once yet, but the muscle memory kicks in. No suit, no gadgets, no weapons, just his body, his training, and a pile of stunned men on the floor.

Finally, Bruce looks up and sees him.

"What the hell?" yells Bruce. He drops his cane and sprints across the courtyard.

"Don't go in there," says John.

"Mr. Wayne," Park says, "I don't know what your assistant is going on about, but - "

Bruce grabs Park by the collar and throws him against the wall.

"What did I tell you about Blake?" he snarls at Park.

"Uh…" says Park, clearly not remembering.

"Blake calls the shots. If he doesn't like what's going on, you listen to him."

Park laughs in his face. Bruce drops him on the floor.

"You're fired. Blake, situation."

"I'm not sure. But every instinct I have is screaming not to go inside," says John.

"I trust your instincts," says Bruce.

John's instincts turn out to be correct after the police send in a robot and it trips a motion sensor in the room the briefing was to take place, which triggers the fire suppression system to release anthrax powder. They end up arresting the perp, who was posing as a maintenance guy. Bruce surmises that John saw the guy at some point and that his body language tipped John off.

"Sure I can't talk you into taking over as head of my security team?" asks Bruce.

"That and Nightwing? Not enough hours in the day."

"I know," sighs Bruce. "Also, nice job taking out my team. Five guys at once, hand-to-hand with no suit? I'm impressed."

"I have a good teacher," says John. "But also, you need to do a better job hiring."

"I know that too. I didn't even want a team, but Selina forced the issue. I'm used to taking care of myself. I left the hiring to a contacted company that came highly recommended. Clearly a mistake. Can you at least vet a new team for me?"

"Sure," says John.

---

The first time Bruce has sex with John, it's to get even with Selina.

John occasionally drops in to have dinner with the Waynes; Bruce has made it clear that he has an open invitation to family dinners. Helena and Alfred are both in bed early due to a nasty cold. Bruce is in an unusually great mood after signing a contract earlier that day to provide clean water to several villages in Northern India. They retire to the living room, and Bruce breaks out a Domaine Romanée-Conti. Bruce and Selina aren't big drinkers, but occasionally Bruce does crack open something obscenely expensive. John's glad that Bruce isn't one of those wine snobs who collects two-hundred-year-old bottles as an investment; he had no idea alcohol could be this good before he met Bruce.

Bruce has one hand on a glass of Burgundy and the other on Selina's ass; she's perched on his lap nuzzling his neck. Not that the two of them need alcohol to loosen up around each other; John has witnessed several breathtakingly inappropriate PDAs over the past few years. For two intensely private people, they sure like to indulge in public indecency; Bruce seems to enjoy letting people know that he has a hot wife he likes to fuck.

Everything is so warm and cozy that John's guard is down, so when Selina cracks a joke about fucking on rooftops, he unthinkingly brings up that time they fucked in an alley.

Bruce is furious - you'd think he had just discovered them in bed together. John is worried that Bruce might disown him for it. He's doesn't care about losing the money or shelter, or even the Maserati (okay, he cares about that a little) but the thought of losing this…this family, makes his insides churn.

Bruce doesn't throw him out. Instead, he gets into a yelling match with Selina. At one point, it looks like they're going to come to blows. John knows Selina can hold her own and that Bruce, even in a fit of rage, would never seriously harm Selina, but he decides to step in anyway.

"Hey," he says, stepping between them and shoving them away from each other. "Let's all just cool off a bit…"

Selina flops into a chair and glares at Bruce. Bruce glares back.

"It's only fair then," says Bruce, and the next thing John knows, he's on his knees in front of Bruce.

John is surprised. He figured Bruce has slept with his fair share of men, not because he was particularly into it, but because John's observed that Bruce has a libertine streak in him that he tries to hide. He recalls hearing rumors during Bruce's playboy phase.

John has sucked more than one cock in his life, and he thinks he's pretty good at it. He prefers the ladies (oh, does he ever), but when he was younger, newly on the streets after exiting the system, alone and lonely, he took whatever comfort he could find or whatever money was offered.

John has never thought about Bruce that way, but now that he's being forced to consider it, it's not a repugnant idea, so once he gets over the surprise, he embraces it.

From the corner of her eye, he sees Selina angrily watching from her chair. Bruce looks directly at Selina, unzips his pants, digs his fingers into John's hair, and shoves his cock into John's mouth. John has a fleeting thought about how this might change his relationship with Selina and Bruce for the worse, but his dick is throbbing at the thought of sucking Batman off, and John goes along with it.

He cups Bruce's tight ass and focuses on his cock. His cock is beautifully hard and silky smooth under his tongue. Bruce's fingers tighten in his hair. It's been a while, so it takes him a few minutes to adjust and allow Bruce into his throat.

When Bruce starts thrusting into his mouth, Selina gets up and storms out of the room. John figures Bruce will go after her, but he doesn't - he stays until he comes in John's mouth and John swallows his cum, licks his cock clean, and gets off the floor. Then, without a word, he zips up his pants and leaves.

John worries that everything is fucked up, but when he drops in at the breakfast table the next day, everything seems fine. No one brings it up, so John follows their cue. He assumes it was a one-off, until it happens again a few months later.

During training one day, John pins Bruce down. Bruce had offered a few words of praise, and training had continued. But after the session ended, before John can make his way to his rooms, Bruce's hand is on his shoulder and his cock is out and in John's mouth before he can blink.

It becomes a thing between them occasionally. They don't talk about it, and John doesn't give it too much thought, but sometimes, when he's balls deep in a woman and needs a little something to push him over the edge, he thinks about how he, Robin John Blake, gets to suck Batman off. It does the trick every time.

---

When he has sex with Selina again, it's to piss off Bruce.

Bruce is in a bad mood. John knows his all his moods well - as well as Alfred, and better than Selina, because Selina generally only sees what John has privately dubbed Bruce's "happy" mood. When Selina or Helena is around, Bruce is lighter, more expressive, physically affectionate, and pleasant. He even makes jokes. When they're not around, he's in his baseline "neutral" mood - cool, detached, brusque. When he's in pain, he's sharp, irritable, and snappish. When he's in a good mood, he's moderately talkative and will deign to do something "frivolous," like play chess, enjoy a glass of wine, or listen to music. And when he's in a bad mood, which is thankfully rare, even John gets the hell out of the way.

Bruce has been a raging asshole for a few days now, and it's been getting on everyone's nerves. One night, Bruce is working late, and John is tired of taking out his frustration on his punching bag, so he goes looking for Selina, whom he knows is equally pissed at Bruce.

His relationship with Selina is complicated. He doesn't like her; she's catty, biting, mocking - Bruce is constantly asking her to play nicely with John - and absolutely unrepentant about her criminal history, but here they are, bound to the same man as wife and mentee. Yet Selina is also his biggest ally and occasional sparring partner, and one of the few people who understands just how annoying Bruce can be.

He finds Selina in the living room typing furiously on her laptop. She looks up and stops typing when she sees the look on his face.

"Bruce?" she asks.

"Bruce," he confirms.

"Oh boy," she says. She gets up and walks over to the liquor cabinet to grab the Springbank 1919 that Bruce had brought out for John's last birthday. The bottle is worth more than some houses.

"He's going to kill you," says John, somewhat in awe of Selina's brazenness, but admittedly, as Bruce's wife, this is her home, her living room, her liquor cabinet too.

She opens the bottle and fills two glasses generously. She leaves the bottle out, heads back to the couch, and hands him his glass. They clink glasses and sip.

"Now, what about Bruce?"

An hour and half a bottle later, they're admittedly somewhat drunk and doing impressions of Bruce, when Selina gets an idea.

"You know what would really piss him off?" she says.

"Uh… me driving the Lamborghini?" he says hopefully. If Selina's onboard, then he can blame it on her later.

"True, but I was thinking more - " she leans over and licks his ear "- fucking, not driving."

John sits back warily. "I don't know, Selina, he was pretty mad about that."

"He's fucked your pretty mouth how many times now?"

Uh oh.

"You know about that?"

"I know about everything. If he gets to use you, so do I."

And that's how John ends up naked in Bruce and Selina's amazingly comfortable massive bed, Selina in her bra, riding him hard.

"Don't you dare come," she hisses. "I'm using that."

John squeezes his eyes shut and tries to think of something unpleasant. Training, yeah, training is good: Painful, exhausting, often humiliating. But then he thinks of Bruce, shirtless, covered in a sheen of sweat, demonstrating a move…

"Selina, I'm going to come," he gasps.

Selina stops moving and squeezes the base of his penis with her hand. He groans.

"Good?" asks Selina.

"No," says John, "but go on."

Selina does so.

Eventually, Selina furiously rubs her clit and finds that happy place. She magnanimously lets him come inside her after.

After the initial high of his orgasm wears off, John feels like he's being watched. Selina sprawls on her back next to him. John turns his head - shit, Bruce is sitting motionless in a chair across the room.

"Fuck," he says involuntarily. "Fuck fuck fuck." He didn't hear Bruce come in, which means one, Bruce caught him fucking his wife and is going to kill him, and two, Bruce caught him not paying attention to his surroundings, which means if Bruce doesn't kill him, he's going to blindfold John and repeatedly hit him with a stick unless he manages to duck, and Bruce hits hard.

"What?" asks Selina.

"What, indeed," rumbles Bruce. He's doing the Batman voice.

Selina jumps.

"Shit, Bruce," she says irritably. "I told you not to do that."

Bruce gets up and stands at the foot of the bed.

"Out," Bruce grunts without looking at him. John gets out of the bed as fast as he can, grabs his pants, and is out the door without putting them on first. The door shuts behind him, and John doesn't hear anything else; the bedroom is soundproofed because no one needs to hear Selina screaming while Bruce fucks her all the time.

John gets dressed, gets in his car, and drives over to St. Swithin's even though it's in the middle of the night. He quietly lets himself in and collapses into a spare bed - Bruce wouldn't dare kill him in front of the boys.

He spends the day at St. Swithin's with the boys, nervously keeping an eye out for Bruce. His head throbs from the whiskey - he's hasn't had that much to drink in a while. His phone buzzes around six in the evening - it's a text from Selina saying it's safe to come back.

Thank god, Bruce isn't going to kill him.

He drives back to Wayne Manor and goes straight to his rooms.

Bruce is waiting for him. Maybe Bruce is going to kill him after all.

"Bruce, I am so sorry," he babbles. "It was Selina's idea -"

Yeah, he's throwing Selina under the bus, but fuck that - love of Bruce's life, mother of his child - she's fucking untouchable.

Bruce cuts him off. "I know. You're not that stupid."

Bruce clenches his teeth. He appears to be trying to say something. "I'm sorry," he finally says.

"What?" says John. "What are you sorry for?"

"I've been an ass lately, and I've been taking it out on you and Selina."

"You really have," says John. Bruce shoots him a look. John backs down. "Sorry, you were saying?"

"I don't… appreciate the way Selina chose to get her point across, but I get it."

He waits for John to respond. "Okay," John says hesitantly.

"In the future, Blake? Keep out of my bed and wear a condom. If you get her pregnant…" It's scarier when Bruce doesn't bother finishing his threats.

"Okay," John chokes out, confused because it sounds like Bruce is giving him permission to sleep with Selina in the future?

"I'll see you on the mat in two hours," says Bruce. That means sparring in the Batcave. There's a gym in the main house, but Bruce doesn't want Helena accidentally wandering in during training, so the gym is only for working out.

John swallows.

"The blindfold?"

"Most definitely the blindfold. Clearly, your situational awareness is lacking."

Bruce is going to enjoy this session so much.

---

Later, before John makes his way to the Batcave, he takes a detour to find Selina. She's in her home office. He opens the door and pops his head in.

"Selina," he says.

"What?" she responds without looking up.

He goes inside and closes the door behind him.

"What the fuck just happened?"

"Bruce apologized?"

"Yes! And he -"

"Gave you the greenlight to fuck me?"

"Yes! What the fuck?"

Selina sighs. "Don't you get it? We're both his, so he doesn't mind us playing with each other."

"Oh," says John. He takes a minute to process this new information. He's vaguely disturbed to find someone called dibs on him without his realizing it. But he's also pleased to be claimed, to belong somewhere, to someone, in some way.

"Hmm," he says. "Do you mind? Being his?"

Selina thinks it over.

"I thought I would. But, no, I don't."

John turns to leave. He opens the door and pauses.

"Bruce is probably working late again tomorrow night. You busy?"

Selina throws a pen at him. He ducks and leaves. But before he fully closes the door, he hears Selina laughing.

---

There's some stupid ball or party or charity event nearly every month that Bruce must make an appearance at. Selina and John usually alternate between accompanying Bruce, but for the Mayoral Ball, Bruce insists on them both.

For once, there's someone there worth talking to: Police Commissioner Jim Gordon. The four of them manage to score a tiny table that only seats three, so no one else can join them; Selina sits in Bruce's lap. They have a nice time catching up; Gordon asks after Helena, and they obliquely discuss Nightwing. The mayor drops by to say hello and kiss Bruce's ass; Bruce hadn't been around for his first election, and the mayor is already revving up for round two.

"I had high hopes for that guy," says Gordon after the mayor moves on.

"And now?" asks Bruce.

"I pray that he doesn't leave the city in worse shape than he got it," Gordon says.

Bruce is looking way too thoughtful. Selina notices too. She twines her arms around Bruce's neck.

"A penny for your thoughts, Mr. Wayne?" she asks.

"Pity there isn't a better candidate to endorse for the next election," says Bruce, eyeing Gordon.

"No, Bruce," says Gordon. "No!"

---

A year and a half later, Bruce insists on hosting the inauguration ball at Wayne Manor for the new mayor, Jim Gordon.

Selina finds John shortly after the start of Gordon's party. She's wearing a sparkly gold dress that shows off her pregnancy breasts and baby bump number two. He's not generally attracted to pregnant women, but she looks downright luscious.

"I'm so jealous," she says, motioning at the glass of champagne in his hand. "A little buzz would make this more tolerable."

"What kind of buzz?" Their eyes meet, and she smirks.

Five minutes later, they're locked in an upstairs bathroom, and Selina has her tongue down his throat.

"Where's Bruce?" he manages to ask between kisses.

"With the new mayor. He says if he has to suffer through this, so does Bruce, and I really need to get off."

"I don't have a condom."

"I'm five months pregnant. You can't knock me up more than I already am, forget about the condom."

Selina hoists herself onto the counter and pulls her dress up.

He forgets about the condom. He hasn't had sex raw in years and damn, it feels amazing. He could have been banging Selina for months without a condom; he needs to make sure to take advantage of this more often while she's pregnant.

"Thanks," says Selina a bit later. "I was not going to make it through the rest of this evening without that."

He chivalrously helps her off the counter and watches her rearrange herself.

"If you get a second wind, there's a blonde in a green dress that looks skanky."

"You're so good to me," he says and kisses her on the cheek. When did he get so fond of Selina?

He lets Selina leave first and waits around a few minutes before leaving himself. He exits the bathroom and nearly collides into Helena, who's running down the hall in a bright purple onesie being chased by her nanny. He scoops her up with one arm before she can get away.

"Sorry, John," says the nanny. Kara's been with them for a few months, and while she's cute, with freckles and red hair, and has made it clear that she's interested. Bruce had asked him not to shit where he ate, so he's refrained.

"No worries," says John.

"No bed!" screeches Helena. "Wanna see mommy dress."

Selina and Bruce had put Helena to bed earlier while already dressed for the ball, and Helena had been captivated by the sparkles.

Kara reaches out to take Helena, but John decides to keep her. "I'm going to take her for a bit, I think."

Kara shrugs. She's been around long enough to know that Uncle John can get away with spoiling his little hellcat. "I'll be in the kitchen stealing hors d'oeuvres if you need me."

Helena throws her arms around his neck and snuggles her little body against him. "Yay!" she says.

He heads out to a balcony overlooking the party, and Helena spends a few minutes delightedly pointing out all the different dresses she likes. Eventually, she spots Selina. She leans out from John's arms as far as she can and waves her hands.

"Hi, mommy!"

Selina hears Helena and looks up at them. She waves back. Bruce joins Selina and motions to John to come down.

John makes his way down to Bruce and Selina. Helena eagerly leans out of his arms, and Selina picks her up.

"Pretty," says Helena, rubbing her face against Selina's shoulder.

Bruce kisses Helena's head.

"I remember doing that when I was little," says Bruce. "I would sneak out of bed when my parents had a party and watch everyone dance until Alfred would spot me and take me back upstairs. But if my dad saw me first, he'd carry me around for a while and let me try his champagne."

He takes Helena from Selina and grabs a glass of champagne.

"Want to try it?"

Helena nods, and he puts the glass to her lips.

"Just a little sip," Bruce warns her.

Helena drinks a bit and sticks out her tongue.

"Icky," she declares.

"That's what I said when I was little. It's an acquired taste," says Bruce, who takes a sip himself.

"What's that?" asks Helena.

"It means you might like it better when you're all grown up," says Bruce. "Shall we go say hi to Uncle Jim?"

"Yes," says Helena, and off they go.

Selina nudges him.

"Over there, by the tree," she says. It's the blonde in the green dress: no wedding ring, no companion.

"Why not?" says John. How often does he get to do two women in one night? He goes to say hello.

---

The first time John gets Wayne Manor to himself, Bruce is heading to England with Alfred, Selina, and Helena, because Alfred wants Bruce to take a break and has concocted some bullshit story about wanting to show off Helena to his old army buddies at an upcoming reunion.

Bruce lays down the law before he leaves for the airport.

"One," says Bruce, "Touch the Lamborghini and I will break your fingers. Two, stay the fuck out of my bedroom. Three, slack off on your current training regimen and you will wish I broke your fingers when you see what I have in store for you. Got it? Good."

John's face falls. How did Bruce know that he had been hoping to invite a woman over and do all of those things? It's like having an annoying older brother left in charge.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Dad," he says. Bruce cuffs him hard on the side of his head.

"Ow."

"Don't be such a smart ass," says Bruce as he walks to the car.

"Bet you don't get to abuse your other employees," he yells after him.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," says Alfred, popping his head out of the driver's seat window.

"Oh please, Alfred, he only abuses you emotionally," says Selina from the backseat.

"Bye, Uncle John," shrieks Helena from beside her.

And then it's just him and the manor.

---

John pushes himself through a grueling workout that he knows is going to leave him sore the next day. With Bruce, Selina, and Alfred all out of town, Bruce had told him not to go out as Nightwing as there was no one available to "scrap his ass off the sidewalk," as Bruce put it.

He enters his rooms, but instead of the silence he was anticipating, he hears… giggling? He runs through the list of staff employed at Wayne Manor, none of whom should be onsite currently as Alfred gave everyone the week off.

He follows the giggles to his bedroom. There's a redhead lying under a sheet in his bed, chatting on a cell phone.

"Gotta go. See you in a few!" says the intruder and hangs up. She rolls over, and John sees that it's Kara.

"Kara, what the fuck?"

"Hi John," says Kara. She sits up, and the sheet slithers down just enough to reveal that she's naked.

"What is going on?"

"With everyone out of town, I thought we could… get to know each other better."

The freckles on her face continue down her chest and disappear under the sheet. John wants to lick that freckle trail and see where it goes. No, John, focus.

"Kara, this isn't a good idea."

"I think it's a great idea. I like you; you're so great with Helena, and your arms…" she sighs. "Your arms are majestic."

He looks at an arm. Yeah, his arms do look good.

"Look, Kara, you're great, but you're Helena's nanny, and she really likes you. I don't want things to get awkward."

"What's there to be awkward about? No strings, Johnny."

"Just John, thanks." He hates nicknames, unless Helena thinks of them and then they're adorable.

The sheet slides down a bit more. Her nipples are a soft pink and are begging for someone to gently bite them.

"No," says John, but even he doesn't think it sounds convincing.

Kara gets out of bed, and he didn't doubt she'd been a real redhead before, but now he has extra confirmation. She stands on her tiptoes to kiss him, and he's done for. He pushes her onto the bed and dives in after her. Bruce never has to know.

---

Bruce takes one look at John's face when he gets back and knows something is up.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"What did you do?"

"I did not touch your car or go into your bedroom. I've been training my ass off -"

"What did you do?"

He tries to hold it back, but it slips out.

"I slept with Kara."

"Come on, Blake! The one woman - "

"She was in my bed - "

"Show a little goddamn restraint!"

" - naked with a bottle of tequila - "

"You drink too much - "

" - and then her friend showed up - "

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Blonde with legs up to her neck."

Bruce is a leg guy too. He should understand.

Bruce exhales sharply.

"Well, I guess you tried your best."

---

Things stay not awkward between him and Kara for longer than John expected, but all good things must come to an end.

"Blake," she says icily as she gets up and leaves the breakfast table with Helena.

John slumps into a chair.

"What happened there?" asks Bruce.

"Helena wanted to know when Kara was going to have a baby like Selina, and Kara got emotional and asked me to 'put a baby in her' while we were, uh, doing stuff."

Bruce starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" says Selina, coming up from behind and kissing Bruce's head.

"Blake can't bring himself to say 'sex,'" says Bruce.

"If you can't say it, then you're not old enough to have it," Selina informs him.

John sinks lower into his chair.

"She wants to date," John mutters. "Yes Bruce, you warned me, don't say it."

"If she quits because of you, you're changing all the new baby diapers," warns Bruce.

"What do I do?" moans John.

"Give the lady what she wants?" suggests Selina.

Huh, that's an idea.

---

"Boys, who wants a date?"

John catches Bruce's security team after a briefing. He put the team together a few years back after the disaster that had been the first team, and he thinks he did a good job. They're stand-up guys, and he likes them. They hang out sometimes at a bar or a shooting range.

Jens, Smith, Ganbaatar, and O'Malley all point at Chakrabarti, the team leader. Chakrabarti is married to a Finnish woman he met at a kickboxing tournament. She has hair so blonde it's nearly white and a solid three inches on her husband, who refers to her as his goddess and has implied that he enjoys being crushed between her thighs of steel.

"Na, for real. Which of you knuckleheads are single right now?"

Jens, Smith, and Ganbaatar raise their hands.

"Great. Who wants to go out with Helena's nanny?"

"The redhead?" asks Smith.

"Yep."

"Weren't you banging her?"

"Regrettably, yep."

Smith puts his hand down.

"Either of you want a white picket fence at some point?"

Jens puts his hand down.

"How's Friday at six?" Ganbaatar nods. Apparently, Ganbaatar has a thing for American girl-next-door types.

"Great. Wear a short-sleeved shirt. She likes arms."

Ganbaatar is on the shorter side, built like a tank, and speaks an average of ten words a day. John thinks Kara will enjoy not having to deal with someone interrupting her.

On Friday morning, John finds Kara.

"Hey," he says.

Kara ignores him.

"I know you're mad at me, but take the night off, I'll watch Helena."

"Why?"

"Be dressed and ready to leave at six."

"What the hell are you doing, Blake?"

"You a favor."

Kara can't resist the intrigue though, so at six John meets her in the foyer of Wayne Manor, takes Helena, and opens the door for Ganbaatar.

"Kara, this is -" Shit, he's forgotten Ganbaatar's first name.

"Tümen," says Ganbaatar.

" - Tümen. Tümen, Kara."

He shoves Kara towards Ganbaatar.

"Have a nice night."

Ganbaatar offers his arm to Kara. Kara looks him up and down, smiles, and takes his arm. Ganbaatar smiles back.

John doesn't know if he's done Ganbaatar a favor or not in the long run, but those smiles seem like a good start.

He decides he's done a good thing after a rather intense, three-year on-and-off relationship culminates in a baby girl named Sarnai and a spring wedding on the grounds of Wayne Manor.

Well, at least Kara's off his back, and there's another cute kid running around Wayne Manor.

---

"Don't you have any friends?" asks John after being dragged to golf with Bruce one too many times. Golf is such fucking bullshit, but apparently, it's an important business activity. Isn't there anyone else Bruce can take instead of making him suffer through eighteen hell holes?

Bruce thinks it over. He opens his mouth, but John cuts him off.

"Selina doesn't count," says John. Bruce purses his lips and tries again, but John gets there first. "Alfred and Fox don't count either."

"Why not?" says Bruce.

"Because Alfred's your dad and Fox is your tech guy, and they both work for you!"

"Alfred and Lucius don't do it for the money," says Bruce stiffly.

"Oh, I know, I've been around you long enough to see that."

Bruce glares at him but tries again. "Gordon and I are friends."

"More like Gordon is Batman's biggest groupie - hey, I'm just telling it like it is!"

John tries to guide Bruce. "No one from college? High school? Work?"

"There were a few guys I was friendly with at the League of Shadows, but they died when I burned the place down." John wants to believe Bruce is joking, but he looks perfectly serious.

"Rachel's dead, I grew up with her. I didn't really get along with anyone at boarding school, and I was too angry to click with anyone in Princeton."

The fact that this is pretty depressing seems to be dawning on Bruce.

"What's your point, Blake?"

"I don't even know anymore. I didn't expect there to be no one."

They're both quiet for a few minutes.

"We're friends, right?" asks Bruce.

"Uh…"

Are they? John hasn't thought of Bruce like that. Employer, mentor, tormentor, occasional lover, sure. But then he thinks of the times that Bruce talks to him about stuff that has nothing to do with training or work, just stuff that they both happen to enjoy, like cars or history or talking shit about city officials. How Bruce takes him on business trips even though there's no real reason John needs to be there. How he feels like Bruce is the older brother he never had.

Well, damn, that sure sounds like friends.

"Yes," he finally says. "We're friends."

"We have fun, don't we?" asks Bruce a bit uncertainly.

John recalls Bruce trying not to laugh at his comments during his CEO bash. He remembers hitting Bruce (gently) over the head with a club last time they went golfing and getting hit (hard) in the ass with a few golf balls in return. He remembers shoving Bruce into the pool, and Bruce turning an ice-cold hose onto him. He remembers them playing at lot.

"Yeah, we do."

---

Selina is so pregnant that it looks like she swallowed a watermelon. She's due any day now, so Bruce cancels anything that requires him to leave Wayne Manor and works from home.

On Saturday morning, Helena decides that she wants to have a picnic with Mommy, Daddy, Alfred, John, and her stuffed cat Mrs. Fluffy. On one of her last days as an only child, they oblige her. Because Alfred is incapable of doing anything basic, it's a full out red-checkered blanket and wicker basket affair.

Selina is unusually quiet, although he can tell she's making an effort to respond when Helena talks to her, and John catches her grimacing a few times. She's sweating a bit too despite the pleasant weather.

"Hey, Selina, you okay?" John asks.

"Don't talk to me," she hisses at him.

John slinks away.

"What's with her?" he whispers to Bruce.

"She was like this right before she went into labor with Helena," Bruce murmurs. "I think it's going to happen soon."

He distracts Helena, who is trying to get Selina to read her a book, by handing her a cup of chocolate mousse. Helena drops the book like it's a hot potato and goes for the sugar.

"Helena, I think you're going to like having a sister," says Bruce, stroking her hair while she manages to smear what looks like half of her mousse across her cheeks.

"Yeah, right," says Helena in a spot-on imitation of Selina that makes all the adults, even Selina, chuckle.

Bruce wipes mousse off Helena's face.

"You can play tag with your sister," Bruce points out to Helena, who still looks doubtful. "And fingerpaint and go swimming and read books and - "

"Give her noogies," interrupts John.

"What noogies?" asks Helena.

"I don't think anyone's ever given me a noogie," says Bruce, clearly without thinking through what he's saying. It's too good an opening for John to resist.

John gets up, as if to stretch his legs, and casually walks behind Bruce, who is sitting on the picnic blanket, and puts him in a headlock.

"Never?" he asks and administers a noogie. Bruce reflexively throws John over his shoulder. For a second, John thinks this was a terrible idea; can Bruce even distinguish between play fighting and real fighting? But then Bruce throws himself on top of John, far less violently than he would have if he'd been serious about causing damage, and he knows Bruce is on the same page.

"That was a terrible noogie," says Bruce. He manages to get on his knees, haul John off the ground, and put him in a headlock. He brutally rubs his knuckles over John's head. John elbows Bruce in the gut, and he loosens his grip. John throws himself backwards and pins Bruce to the ground. Bruce shoves him off, and they go rolling down a shallow slope. John is on his back when Bruce jumps on top of him and holds his arms down. John manages to free one hand and shove it into Bruce's armpit and tickle him.

Bruce did not see that coming. He jerks back in surprise, and John rolls them over and attacks both armpits. Bruce is laughing hard enough by this point that he can't get a good grip on John again.

"Say uncle!" shouts John.

"No," gasps Bruce.

"Uncle," shrieks Helena, running after them.

"Bruce," calls Selina from the picnic blanket. Bruce doesn't respond as John is busy trying to shove his face into the grass.

"Bruce!" she yells. There's a bit of panic in her voice this time. Bruce throws John off him, playfulness forgotten. He gets up and races over to Selina. Alfred is helping her up off the picnic blanket.

John picks himself up and joins Bruce.

"Now?" says Bruce.

"Now," agrees Selina.

Bruce kneels to look Helena in the eye.

"Remember how we talked about how Mommy and Daddy are going to go to the hospital and bring home your sister?"

"Yes," says Helena.

"That's going to happen now. You're going to stay here with John." Helena shrugs and runs to hug John's legs.

"Can we have pizza?" says Helena.

"A girl with her priorities straight," says John.

Bruce scoops Selina into his arms and carries her towards the garage.

"Bruce, I can walk," John hears her say.

Alfred runs after them, and a few minutes later, the Rolls-Royce pulls out and speeds away.

"It's just you and me, hellcat," he sighs.

"Piggyback ride!" says Helena gleefully.

---

Tamsin Fredrika Wayne makes her appearance twelve hours later. John is glad for the baby's sake that Selina vetoed Thomasina Alfreda. Selina's father was an abusive drunk, so they just went with Bruce's father figures. Bruce is so high off his happiness that the hospital ends up with a new wing named after Tamsin, even if it has his accountants screaming at him about third-quarter losses. "It's only fair," he justifies to John. "Helena got the shelter, she needed something too."

John thinks it's sweet that when Bruce is happy, he wants to share it with everyone. Some guys might buy everyone at the bar drinks or pass out cigars, but Bruce invests in the public good.

He brings Helena to the hospital to meet Tamsin the day after she is born. Helena is more interested in sitting in Selina's lap recounting her adventures with John over the past two days than looking at her new sister.

Bruce brings the baby over to John, who's been quietly sitting in a chair in the corner, trying not to disturb the family. He takes the baby's hand, and like he did when he introduced John to Helena, offers it to John.

John gives her his finger. Tamsin's tiny fingers reflexively close over it, and he shakes her little hand.

"Tamsin, this is Blake. Blake, Tamsin."

"How do you do?" says John seriously, far more prepared for this meeting than when he met Helena.

Bruce chuckles and pulls Tamsin's hand off his finger.

"Here," says Bruce, and he puts Tamsin in John's arms.

"Hi," says John, looking at the little squashed red face.

Bruce sits down next to him.

"Selina and I have been talking," he says quietly. "Would you be her godfather?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, and I know it's a bit late, but Helena's too."

"What does godfathering consist of exactly?"

"Just keep doing whatever it is you're doing with Helena. You're her favorite person."

John feels his face getting warm.

"And if anything happens to me and Selina, you'd take care of them."

"Alfred - "

"Alfred isn't as young as he used to be."

"This is a lot, Bruce."

"Yes," says Bruce. "And there's no one else I would trust to give this much to."

"Nothing is going to happen to you guys."

"Nothing was going to happen to my parents either," says Bruce. He sighs. "Nothing is going to happen, but it would give us peace of mind."

"Selina agreed to this?"

"She thinks more highly of you than she lets on."

John looks at Tamsin. He doesn't even know her yet and already he feels protective of her. And the thought of never seeing Helena again because some other guardian took her away makes his chest hurt.

Bruce isn't the only one who has it bad for these girls.

"Okay," says John.

"I'll have the lawyers draw up the paperwork tomorrow, make it official." Bruce puts his hand on John's shoulder. "Thank you."

"No," says John. He looks Bruce in the eye. "Thank you." He wants to hug Bruce, but he's holding the baby, and he isn't sure if hugging is something him and Bruce do.

Tamsin starts to whimper.

"Unless the way you fight isn't the only girly thing about you, bring her over here," calls Selina.

John brings her the baby and impulsively kisses Selina's cheek. He drops a kiss on Helena's head for good measure too.

"What's gotten into you?" says Selina as she pulls up her top.

"Family," he says and smiles at her. She tries to frown at him, but then she puts Tamsin to her breast, and she can't help but smile back at him.

---

Bruce generally keeps his physical abilities to himself. His security team knows he works out, but that's about it, until the situation in Bosnia. Bruce, John, the Bosnian Minister of Finance, and three lawyers from local NGOs are in an elevator when it stops, and the lights dim. The security team is on the ground floor in the lobby after having swept the place. At first, everyone assumes that it's a malfunction, but then they hear gunshots from below and the elevator, which was originally going up, starts to go down.

"Blake," Bruce growls and motions at the elevator control panel. Blake tears open the panel and rips out the wires. The elevator sputters and stops. While John's doing that, Bruce uses his cane to open the ceiling hatch. Once it's open, Bruce jumps, grabs the edges, and pulls himself up through the hatch.

"Clear," says Bruce, and John grabs the minister and hoists him up through the hatch. Bruce pulls him out the rest of the way, and they repeat the process three more times. John pulls himself out of the elevator and closes the hatch. Bruce is already up the service ladder and prying open the doors on the next level. He slides back down the ladder.

Bruce points at the ladder.

"All of you, up and out. Keep heading up, everything is going down on the lower levels."

The others start climbing. Bruce turns to John.

"Thoughts?" he asks John.

"This is the part where I get you the hell out of here and let your team deal with it," says John.

Bruce looks like he's going to fight about it with John.

"Neither of us is wearing body armor, and those sound like assault rifles."

Bruce can't argue with that.

"Sorry," says John as they're climbing the service ladder, "but if you really need an adrenaline kick, we can go BASE jumping off Wayne Tower when we get back."

"No," says Bruce. "Selina won't be up for that kind of thing for another few months, and she's still mad that we didn't take her last time."

"Heli-skiing?"

"Promised my orthopedic surgeon I wouldn't do it again."

"Skyscraper parkour?"

"Yes, please."

"The things I do to keep you happy."

"You never had this much fun until you met me."

"I never did this much stupidly dangerous stuff until I met you."

"You love it."

"Maybe," says John. They exit onto the next floor "I'm thinking we call for a pickup and head for the roof?"

"Fine," says Bruce. John tosses him the cane that he grabbed on his way out of the elevator. Bruce sighs and leans on it.

Suddenly, they hear the elevator slamming into the ground floor. The doors open with a ding, and they hear someone shouting: "There's no one in here!"

Simultaneously, they hear footsteps coming down the hallway.

"No guns," someone shouts. "We need Wayne alive."

John throws his hands up in defeat.

"Happy now?"

"Yes," says Bruce, but his voice is pure Batman.

Six goons drop out of the ceiling. One lands on top of Bruce, and he goes down. The other three dog pile on top. Before John can react, three goons attack him from behind. He takes care of them easily enough, but before he can get to Bruce, Bruce uses his body like a wedge to push through the pile of men. They roll off him and jump to their feet, and John is pleased to see how well Bruce can still handle multiple assailants. He lets Bruce deal with the goons - Bruce is already going to be a regretfully sore motherfucker tomorrow, so John might as well let him finish the job off. He takes a moment to appreciate Bruce's body in motion.

Soon, Bruce is the only one left standing. He's breathing harder than John likes and has a few scratches, but he looks otherwise unharmed.

"How you doing?"

Bruce grins and cracks his knuckles.

"I'm just getting warmed up."

They wait for a second wave, but no one else comes.

"Blake! Blake, do you copy?"

Jens' voice blares out of John's cell phone, which doubles as a walkie-talkie.

"Yes. What's the situation?"

"We've got it covered down here. Are you with Mr. Wayne?"

"Yes, I am. He's fine."

"Good. Stay put, we have your location, we're coming."

John sees Jens and the rest of the team rounding the corner when two last goons drop out of the ceiling behind Bruce, one holding an assault rifle. In one swift movement, Bruce pivots, grabs the barrel of the gun, and points it at the ceiling while delivering a beautiful roundhouse kick to the second goon that sends him flying across the room. The first goon stumbles, and Bruce uses his palm to deliver a powerful strike to his chest while ripping the gun out of the goon's hands. The goon's head hits an exposed pipe, and he goes down.

"About time you boys showed up," says John, but the team is staring at Bruce.

"Holy shit," says Smith.

"Holy motherfucking goddamn shit balls of fire," says O'Malley.

"You fight like Batman," says Jens.

Ganbataar's face is typically expressionless, but now his eyes are wide and his eyebrows raised.

Bruce forces a laugh.

"Guys, flattery will get you everywhere. I did a few martial arts classes when I was younger, but I'm no Batman."

"A few classes, my ass," says Chakrabarti.

"This is ridiculous," says Bruce.

"You know what's ridiculous? Standing around here arguing while still in an active shooter zone," John shouts.

That seems to shock everyone back to their senses.

---

The team refuses to believe John and Bruce's denials. They acquire the security footage showing Bruce taking down the first six goons, and it makes them dig in their heels harder.

Eventually, Bruce gives up trying to persuade the team and just reminds them of their non-disclosure agreements. John quietly gets his hands on the security footage and destroys it, so there's no hard evidence. He regrets letting Bruce handle the goons, but Bruce says this kind of exposure was inevitable.

"And the day I'm caught in that kind of situation and you're not there, I should just cower in a corner?"

The truth is, John isn't worried about any of the security team members spilling the beans. He's put Bruce's life in their hands, and they've demonstrated that his trust is warranted, repeatedly. There have been no information leaks traced back to them; when they've been offered bribes, they tell Blake about it so he can handle it; and they willingly go above and beyond their job duties when they think it necessary.

Eventually, they stop asking. But they don't stop looking at Bruce with a bit of awe.

Except for Ganbaatar. He doesn't let it go.

"That would make you Nightwing," he says quietly to John one day.

John throws his hands up in the air.

"Sure. If Bruce were Batman, I'd be Nightwing."

Ganbaatar bestows one of his rare smiles on John.

"I like your style better than Batman's," he says.

John is tickled pink by that for days.

---

John complains to Selina about how hard it is to get girls unless Bruce is directing them his way.

"It's a confidence issue," says Selina.

"It is?" says John, relieved because he thought she'd say pinpoint something that he had no control over, like his height or his hairline.

"Yes. Bruce is overwhelmingly confident. You can see it in the way he carries himself. It drives women wild."

"Including you?"

"Definitely."

"What do you think I'm doing wrong?"

"I'd have to see you in action," says Selina, and that's how they end up in a bar on a Friday night trying to pick up girls. Selina watches from the bar sipping a cocktail as he makes his moves.

"I'm starting to see the problem," she says after the third girl rejects him.

He sits down next to her and sips his beer.

"What are you trying to get out of this?"

"... To get laid."

"Right. You're not looking for a long-term relationship or a date, just a hook-up. But you approach everything like you are. And these women are not looking for that either. So it gets really awkward fast because what you're saying isn't matching what you're trying to do, and you end up stuttering and generally looking like a fool. You know what you want, you know you have what they want, you have to connect with that, own that." She sips her drink.

"I don't feel like I know what I'm doing. In bed," he adds when Selina looks at him quizzically. "When we… you've been in charge, I didn't really have to do much. Same with the women that Bruce pushes at me."

Selina ponders this new information.

"So all you have to do is feel confident about your skills in bed," says Selina. "Everything else should fall in place after that."

"I'm having trouble getting the practice."

Selina smirks and cracks her knuckles.

"I'm going to have a really good night," she says.

She gets up from the bar, takes John by the hand, and leads him to the car.

Selina is a really good teacher. They start out kissing in the backseat of the car. Selina interrupts their kisses frequently to point out how he can do better, and eventually, her interruptions get less frequent. By the time John pulls away for a break, she's panting, and he can see her nipples through the thin fabric of her dress.

"Very good," she says. "Now take me home so we can work on the next part."

Back in his bedroom, Selina shows John how to undress her slowly and teasingly. She has him cup her breasts and shows him several different ways to caress her nipples. Once she's breathless under his ministrations, she sits on the edge of his bed and spreads her legs.

"How much experience do you have with this?" she asks.

"Haven't done it much," he admits.

"Do this right and you'll be drowning in pussy before you know it. Now get over here."

John kneels in front of her. He pushes her legs further apart to get a better look. She details the basic anatomy and tells him to explore.

He decides to start with licking her from bottom to top.

"Nice, but now do it again keeping your tongue relaxed."

He moves onto her clit next. Under Selina's guidance, he gently sucks on it for a while before stroking the opening of her vagina with his finger.

They take a brief break after that because Selina can't hold off her orgasm any longer and comes on his face.

After mastering more techniques, Selina takes him through several positions. She has him practice thrusting at an angle that stimulates her clit, and the final test is of his multi-tasking skills; he has to thrust, stroke her clit, and suck on her tits at the same time. When Selina comes for the second time thanks to that, she allows him to stop focusing on pleasuring her and to come himself.

"Obviously, it's different with each woman and situation, but you have the gist of it," says Selina as they lie next to each other catching their breath. "Now just remember how fucking good you are when you're talking to women, and they're going to want a taste of that."

Selina's advice and lessons had been excellent, and after that, whenever he wants to get laid, he never has a problem finding someone. Word even gets around at a bar he likes to frequent, and the ladies start coming onto him. Selina jokingly complains that he's never available anymore when she wants to fuck around.

---

On a long flight to Tokyo, John sees that Bruce is bored and restless; he drums his fingers on the table relentlessly and stares out the window. If Selina had been there, John knows Bruce would've taken her to one of the small bedrooms at the back of the plane and fucked her until she screamed loud enough for John to hear her over the engines, but she's back in Gotham, which leaves John as the focus of Bruce's attention.

John knows it's only a matter of time until he has to entertain Bruce. Bruce has been on a Go kick for the past few months. John kind of hates it, but Bruce insists it's an excellent mental workout for strengthening his ability to strategize. John told him that that was a load of bullshit, Bruce just wanted someone to play with, and his punishment was Bruce insisting on playing it at least once a week ever since. Admittedly, he has been getting better at it, and if Bruce is going to continue to make him play, he'd at least like to beat him at some point.

He's perusing a copy of The New York Times International Edition when he feels Bruce's eyes on him.

"I'll get the Go board," he sighs, without looking up.

"No," says Bruce.

He puts down the newspaper.

"You're over Go? Thank god. Can we play poker for once?"

Bruce's hand clamps down on his shoulder, and he finds himself being dragged to one of the bedrooms at the back of the plane.

Oh. Apparently, he'll be playing the role of fuck toy today.

Bruce shoves him on the bed and shuts the door.

"Really, Bruce?" he says, knowing he sounds like a petulant child.

Bruce raises an eyebrow at him.

He's going to get smacked for that one. Bruce claims that whatever he dishes out is nothing compared to what Ra's put him through, so he should show a little goddamn respect. John believes that, but he also thinks Bruce just really needs to punch someone occasionally and that someone ends up being him.

He doesn't see why Selina can't be Bruce's punching bag once in a while. He made the mistake of suggesting that in front of Selina once. Selina laughed so hard that she couldn't get out of her chair.

"Because I punch back," she managed to say between howls.

Maybe she was onto something, so John tries something new: talking back.

"You're bored? No, I'm bored of sucking your dick."

Bruce goes still.

"Does everything have to be about you all the time? I mean, have you ever thought about asking me what I want?"

John sees Bruce thinking.

"Not really," Bruce admits.

"How about now?"

"Okay. Blake, what do you want to do?" Bruce says, a touch condescendingly.

Great, Bruce is humoring him.

John tries to think of something.

"I don't know! I didn't expect you to ask."

Bruce starts laughing.

"It wasn't that funny, Bruce."

"Sorry," says Bruce.

"I mean, you don't make Selina suck your dick."

"Is that what Selina says?"

John shouldn't have said that; Selina's going to be pissed.

"You two gossiping about me when I'm not around?" Bruce shakes his head. "For two people who can't stand each other, you guys sure talk a lot." He sits on the bed.

"She's not so bad," admits John.

"What else does Selina say?"

"Nothing," says John.

"I promise not to tell." Bruce leans forward conspiratorially. "I have a few things I could say myself."

John absolutely needs to know these things. He admits it; he's a massive gossip. He loved being a police officer for that reason: the skill set was an asset, as long as you knew when to keep your mouth shut, which clearly, he is rusty at.

"Like what?"

Bruce leans against the wall. "You first."

"Uh… Selina says that you have some domination thing about getting your dick sucked, you're jealous you don't get to be Batman anymore, and you take it out on me to let me know who's still the big man in the house. And she doesn't do it because - I'm paraphrasing here - she's the boss."

"Wow," says Bruce. He's quiet and thoughtful for a few minutes.

"Any of that true?" John eventually asks.

"Sometimes I think she missed her calling by not going into psychology," says Bruce dryly. "But rest assured, John, she sucks her fair share of dick."

Bruce sounds really hot when he's talking dirty. And since when did Bruce call him by his first name?

"But you do feel that way? About Batman and everything."

Bruce is silent a moment.

"I do. I'm sorry."

John didn't expect that either today.

"It's… it's okay."

Bruce frowns.

"Not really. It's not fair to you."

"I don't really… mind."

"You just said it bored you."

"Yeah, it does sometimes. But everything gets boring after a while if you don't… shake it up."

Bruce thinks about it.

"So, do you ever, you know..." John trails off.

"Suck cock? No," says Bruce, in a way that leaves no room for argument.

"The rich don't do that either, huh?"

"What the hell is my wife telling you? Stop believing everything she says, she's winding you up."

John fidgets.

"Okay… so, you want me to get Go?"

"No," says Bruce. "I have something else in mind." There's a nightstand with a drawer next to the bed, and Bruce opens the drawer and pulls out a bottle of lube.

John knows exactly what Bruce has in mind, but he still has to try.

"I get to top?" he says hopefully.

Bruce gives him a dirty look.

---

Thirty minutes later, John is naked and on all fours as Bruce slides his fingers into his anus, stretching him. It's been years since he's done this; he doesn't remember enjoying it as much, but maybe that's because Bruce knows what the fuck he is doing.

"You good?" asks Bruce. It feels so good that John forgets how to talk. He groans and leans into Bruce's hand.

Bruce pulls his fingers out. "I think you're ready."

Of course, Bruce is still fully dressed. Anything to push the domination angle a bit more. Bruce doesn't bother doing more than dropping his pants and boxers. John watches as Bruce lubes up his penis and pumps it with his hand a few times. Then he kneels behind John and slowly pushes his way in.

Bruce moans a little. "This is tighter than Selina's cunt," he says as he tries thrusting.

"You don't do this with her?" gasps John.

"No. Her vagina is fantastic. But maybe I should..." his voice trails off in a moan. John kind of hopes he doesn't, that it's just their thing.

Bruce puts his hands on John's hips and starts thrusting more rhythmically.

"Tell me… if I'm hurting you," pants Bruce. He squeezes John's hips harder and thrusts deeper.

John grabs one of Bruce's hands and directs it to his cock. Bruce understands and starts jerking him off to the rhythm of his thrusts. His technique is so expert that John tries to file away some moves for solo exploration.

John comes shouting Bruce's name. He can tell that Bruce has finished when Bruce relaxes his grip on his hips.

They both collapse on the bed, Bruce on his back beside John.

"Holy fuck, you are good with your hands," pants John.

"You spend five years in a monastery, and you get really good at some things," says Bruce, his eyes closed.

"Can we do that again?" says John after he catches his breath.

Bruce checks his watch.

"Sure," says Bruce.

"See how that wasn't boring?"

Bruce punches him in the ass.

---

One night, he heads down to the Batcave to grab a piece of equipment that he's wanted to fiddle with when he hears voices from the training mat. He pokes his head around the corner and sees Bruce in his suit and cowl. That is weird - since Bruce doesn't vigilante up anymore, there's generally no need for him to wear the suit unless he's doing certain trainings with John.

Then he sees Selina, also in her suit and masked up, walk up to Bruce. Selina had decided a few years back that she too wanted in on the glorious life of a vigilante. Bruce had asked Lucius to upgrade her suit. Lucius went all out with the cat theme and designed retractable titanium "claws."

"I want to be hero-worshipped by Gotham too," she declared, although John thinks her motivation is more in line with wanting to instill fear of god into the abusive husbands and boyfriends she deals with at the shelter. It's nice to have a partner; sometimes they go out together, sometimes they trade off shifts. The press has taken to calling her Catwoman, and Selina revels in it.

"Shall we?" Batman says in that deep, gravelly voice that drives John crazy since he can never seem to get it right when he tries to do it.

"You're on, Batman," she purrs. "Try not to go easy on me."

They circle each other in the mat.

"The only thing that's going to be easy tonight is getting into your pants."

Oh my god, Batman is trash talking Catwoman. This is the easily the greatest night of John's life.

"Sorry, but I only put out for guys who buy me dinner first."

"I think I've put enough credit in the bank with all the dinners I've taken you to."

Catwoman grabs her crotch and makes a rude gesture at Batman.

"Credit in this bank? I don't think so."

She darts forward, hooks her leg around Batman's, and yanks. He goes down but manages to grab Catwoman's leg on the way down and make her stumble. He jumps onto Catwoman, and they roll around on the mat, tussling. Catwoman eventually pries herself loose, jumps onto a cabinet, crouches, and hisses at Batman. She launches herself at Batman, who twists around in time to catch her instead of letting her knock him down.

Catwoman wraps her legs around Batman's waist. Batman tries to pry her legs off, but her knees are locked. Catwoman bares her teeth and bites Batman's lip hard enough to draw blood. Batman pulls away. She leans forward and licks the blood off his lip.

"Is that how it's going to be?" asks Batman.

"Yes," says Catwoman defiantly. She leans in and kisses Batman. John thinks he should probably leave at this point, but damn, it's hot.

Batman walks forward, still kissing Catwoman, until her back makes contact with the Bat, which has been sitting out for repairs at the edge of the mat for a few days now. He pushes her against the Bat and paws at the front of her suit until he finds a zipper and drags it down to reveal her breasts in a black sports bra. He shoves her bra down expose her breasts and cups them. Catwoman groans and leans back against the Bat, but she soon grows impatient. Her hands reach for Batman's crotch, and she roots around until she retracts part of his suit and pulls his penis out. She grips it with her gloved hand. That must feel weird, John thinks; he tried jerking off with his gloves on once to see how it felt and concluded that bare skin was infinitely better.

Batman growls, untangles her legs from around his waist, and pulls her zipper all the way down her crotch. He spreads her legs and runs his hand over the flesh of her vulnerable pale belly.

"Say my name," says Batman.

"Bruce," moans Catwoman.

Batman snacks her thigh.

"Sorry. Batman," she says.

Batman puts a hand between her legs. John hears a ripping sound and squints to see what Batman's doing; it looks like he's penetrating her with his fingers while still wearing his gloves. From the way Catwoman is thrusting against Batman's hand, John thinks she really likes it.

"How should I fuck you?" asks Batman in a voice that goes straight to John's dick.

"Good and hard," says Catwoman.

Batman removes his hand and flips her so she's facing the Bat.

"Like this?"

"Yes," purrs Catwoman.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Batman. Please fuck me, Batman. I'm a bad, bad criminal and the only thing that's going to set me straight is that big, big cock. If you fuck me, I promise to never steal again."

"Liar," grunts Batman.

"Unless it's the sheets," amends Catwoman. "Or your car. Or the wallet from that bitch at Mommy and Me."

Batman frowns. "Seriously, Selina, you took her wallet too?" It's incongruous hearing Batman speak with Bruce's voice.

"Uh, no. Absolutely not. Just kidding. Batman, please fuck the crime right out of me. I'll be a good, law-abiding citizen once I get that cock in me."

Batman spreads her legs and grips her hips. He penetrates her, and Catwoman hisses.

"Yes. Like that. Oh God, just like that, Batman."

Batman rips off a glove and slides his hand underneath Catwoman. From the increase in pitch in Catwoman's voice after that, John assumes he's stroking her clit. It's really, really hot. For a moment, John wishes he was the one getting fucked by Batman - he only ever gets Bruce.

Catwoman is practically screaming Batman's name. Batman isn't too quiet about it himself either.

"Fuck," yells Batman/Bruce - it's hard to tell which voice he's using at this point. He collapses against Catwoman's back.

"Fuck," agrees Catwoman.

Batman slides off her back, closes his suit, and sits on the floor. Catwoman remains sprawled across the Bat.

Batman takes off his cowl, and Bruce ruffles his hair and wipes his forehead with his bare hand.

"Fuck," he says. "We should do that more often.

"Uh huh," breathes Catwoman.

"Am I going to have to peel you off there?"

"No, I'm good."

Catwoman stands up, takes off her mask, unzips her suit fully, and steps out of it. Her torn underwear falls down her leg, and she pulls off her bra.

Selina scoops up her suit and walks towards the changing room.

"I'm going to take a shower, you coming?"

"I just did," says Bruce. "But yes, I'll be there in a minute. And we're going to have a talk about that wallet!" he yells after her departing figure.

Bruce picks up his cowl and gets off the floor. John tucks himself behind a console and silently swears - he should have gotten out of here while they were fucking.

"Blake," says Bruce to the empty room.

John practically jumps out of his skin. No point in pretending he's not there. He steps into Bruce's line of sight and waits for the axe to fall.

"How long have you known I was there?" he asks miserably.

"Long enough," says Bruce. "You breathe too loud, even at rest. Given how distracted I was and how far away you were, I shouldn't have noticed. Work on that."

John sighs. Working on that means holding his breath for extended periods of time and practicing not gasping for air once he breathes again.

"You knew I was there and you still - " he waves his hand.

Bruce shrugs.

"You did a good job last week taking down that crime ring. Hope you enjoyed the show."

John blushes.

---

John has a weird dream.

He's in Bruce and Selina's bedroom, sitting on their bed, watching the two of them get ready to leave for a party, Bruce in his tuxedo, Selina in the peacock blue dress with the daringly plunging neckline she wore to her first event after Tamsin's birth. John thinks it's the sexiest dress he's ever seen her in.

Selina kisses him and then Bruce goodbye.

"Have fun, boys," she says, and leaves. Bruce shuts the bedroom door behind her.

"Aren't you heading out?"

Bruce smiles his most charming smile, the one that's guaranteed to make any woman in its vicinity go weak in the knees. Hell, it works on John too.

"I'm going to sit this one out."

"Okay," says John, and he gets up from the bed.

Bruce catches him by the wrist. His hand is so warm. He pulls John towards him until John is close enough to smell Bruce's cologne.

"No one said you're sitting this one out," says Bruce, and he kisses John.

It feels amazing. John protests when Bruce eventually pulls his mouth away, but Bruce laughs and shoves him backwards onto the bed.

"Take your clothes off," he says. John has never stripped so fast in his life.

Bruce does the same. Every article of clothing that he takes off sends a jolt straight to John's cock. Soon, Bruce is standing naked before him. He's seen all of Bruce's body parts at one point or another, but never all at once before.

Bruce lies down next to him. John grabs him and kisses him, pressing himself as tightly against Bruce as he can. He could stay like this forever.

Bruce takes John's penis into his hand and rubs it against his own. John groans into Bruce's mouth as Bruce squeezes their penises with one hand and rubs their frenulums together.

Bruce eventually releases their penises and gets on his knees. He pulls John towards him and pushes his legs apart. Bruce penetrates him easily - in dreamland, no lubrication or preparation is necessary. Bruce fucks him slow and hard, and all John can do is lie there and get lost in Bruce's dark eyes. Bruce pumps John's shaft with his hand at the same slow pace of his thrusts...

John wakes up with his boxers sticking to him. Ug, at least it wasn't all over the sheets. He used to sleep naked, but that was before he lived in a place where if he forgot to lock his door, he might wake up to little girls jumping on his bed.

He doesn't think he's ever dreamed of having sex with a guy before. Girls, sure, but never guys and certainly never Bruce. He feels uneasy and tries to forget about it. But the next time Bruce brushes past him and their hands touch, he remembers the dream feeling of the skin to skin contact.

---

He's out one night gathering intel on a mob boss who's looking to expand his operation into Gotham when shit goes down. John is poking around an abandoned building that he's pretty sure the mob has been using for drug smuggling. A car backfires outside. The noise distracts him for a second, and John later determines that's how he misses the sound of rotting wood giving in under his foot, wood that was further weakened by the mob pulling up the planks, storing shipments of heroin under the floorboards, and doing a poor job of nailing them back in place.

He wakes up on his back in pitch black.

"Wake up," someone hisses and gently slaps his face.

Someone pries open his eyelid; oh, that's why it was so dark. It's still dark, but lighter now that there's a flashlight.

Two people hover over him. His vision is blurry, and he can't make out their faces because they're masked. He tenses up, but then he catches a whiff of Bruce's cologne and relaxes. He blinks a few more times and his vision clears up – Bruce is wearing a stripped down version of his Batsuit, and Selina is in her usual suit and mask.

"What happened?" John mumbles.

"You tell us," says Bruce. "You told Helena you'd be back before bedtime. You never showed."

John looks around; he's lying on the floor next to a huge hole.

"We pulled you out of there," says Selina. "Nice find, by the way. Next time, try looking with your eyes instead of your ass."

"Can you move?" asks Bruce.

John manages to roll over onto his left side and sit up. He holds onto Bruce with his left arm and tries to stand but putting weight on his right leg makes him gasp in pain. Selina takes his right arm, and he nearly screams.

"Okay, right side bad," says Selina. John sits back on the ground.

"I don't think there's any way we can get you out of here without hurting you," says Bruce. John nods.

Bruce bends over, puts his arms under John's armpits, pulls him up, and as quickly as he can, hoists John by his good arm and leg over his shoulders in a fireman's carry. John tries not to scream, but he doesn't recall if he succeeds or not before he passes out again.

---

He's out of commission as Nightwing for a solid six months thanks to his arm and leg. Three months on his ass in bed, three months for physical therapy.

Shitty timing on his part, because Selina announces she's pregnant again a month later and he's down for the count, so no one's watching over Gotham.

Being cooped up at home all day drives him nuts. Given that Ganbaatar lives at Wayne Manor as well, he's able to spend a good amount of time with John on his days off. The other members of the security team make a point to come see him at least weekly. Alfred hovers over him incessantly. Mayor Gordon sends him a get-well bouquet, and his former cop buddies drop by to play poker. The kids are very cute; they take turns playing doctor with him, try to read him books, and bring him toys that they think he'll enjoy. Selina makes a point of being nice to him; she even sneaks into his bedroom and makes him come so many times in one session that his dick is sore for two days. And Bruce? Bruce is thinking about things that scare John.

"What if, one day, Nightwing isn't needed anymore?" Bruce asks him one day as he helps John get into bed. John started physical therapy the day before, and he's bone tired, almost as tired as he was all those years ago when he started training with Bruce.

"You think that could happen?"

"Maybe. Have you seen the crime stats lately? And no one's going to be out and about for at least the next four months. It'll be a good test run."

"I don't know," says John.

"I don't want you to have to live like this forever," Bruce continues. "You deserve a life. I'd like to see you retire from this by choice." He doesn't have to say unlike me - John hears the words loud and clear.

"I have a life," says John, a bit offended by Bruce's implication.

"You do. But I think, sooner than you realize, it's not going to be the life you want."

"Don't project your shit onto me," says John.

He feels a bit panicked by the idea. Is Bruce finally sick of having him around?

"John - " Bruce's use of his first name indicates one of three things is about to happen; Bruce is going to subject him to some very hot sex, a deeply intimate emotional conversation, or a combination of both. John isn't in the mood for any of it.

"You think I don't see everything?" says Bruce. "Because I do. I see how you stay home more nights than not instead of going to the bar. I saw how more than one beautiful woman was practically begging you to go home with her at the holiday party, and you passed. I see how you look at the girls."

"And who will I be if I'm not Nightwing?" snaps John. He hadn't meant to say that out loud, but it slipped out.

"That's up to you to figure out," says Bruce.

"Is this your version of 'have a nice life?'"

Bruce is silent. He puts his hand on John's shoulder.

"You're my friend, my best friend, and you're part of this family," says Bruce. "You know that, right?"

"No," says John stubbornly, but then he thinks about it, and he knows deep down, that he does know, and he's known for quite some time. Something even deeper inside though, whispers that all of this is not enough, that friend isn't enough. He wishes Bruce had picked sex rather than conversation. He quashes those thoughts.

"Yes," he concedes.

"I wouldn't tell you to leave," Bruce says. "This is your home, too, no matter what."

"I'm tired," says John. "Go away."

"Think about it," says Bruce.

John closes his eyes to indicate that this conversation is over and he's going to sleep. He doesn't hear Bruce leave. If Bruce wants to stay and creepily watch him sleep, he can go right ahead as long as he shuts his stupid mouth.

He's halfway to dreamland when he hears Bruce stir.

"I am way too easy on you," Bruce says quietly. It's a refrain that John has heard from him many times - in jest, in seriousness, in exasperation. Now, it sounds affectionate.

He feels Bruce brush the hair back from his face. Bruce is… stroking his hair? It's fucking weird, but also nice. He remembers his mother stroking his hair. He doesn't dare move a muscle and let Bruce know he's still awake.

They stay like that for a while. Eventually, Bruce takes his hand away, kisses his forehead, and leaves.

He can feel exactly where Bruce's lips touched his skin for hours.

---

Selina keeps popping them out - she's on her third currently. He would never have expected that from her. He doesn't think Bruce did either. He asks Bruce how many children he is planning to have.

"As many as Selina wants," he says.

"How many is that?"

Bruce shrugs.

"She'll let me know."

John asks Selina how many children she's planning to have one time after they fuck - without a condom, of course.

"I don't know," she says, rubbing her belly. "But they make Bruce so happy. Every time I think I'm done, I see the way he looks at the girls, and I want to do it all over again."

Bruce doesn't let Selina spar or go out as Catwoman when she's pregnant. It infuriates Selina to no end - she's pregnant, not disabled, as she'll tell anyone around her - but when Bruce puts his foot down, even she listens.

It's a shame, because John enjoys sparring with her, but he's not going to tempt fate by accidentally kicking her in the stomach. It's a nice break from sparring with Bruce, for one thing. It's also a different challenge. Selina is light and delicate on her feet in a way that Bruce, for all his training and ninja moves, isn't. She's not as physically powerful as Bruce, which means he spends less time getting body slammed into the ground, and more time with knives at his neck.

---

Selina gives birth to another baby girl two days before Bruce's birthday. Bruce parades around with his new daughter and pronounces her his favorite birthday gift ever. Gotham University gets a new building named after the baby that provides free housing for non-traditional students, with an emphasis on those who are parents.

A few weeks after Elise arrives, John knocks on Bruce and Selina's bedroom door. Bruce opens the door, bare chested in a pair of grey silk pajama pants.

Over Bruce's shoulder, he sees Selina lying in bed with the girls. It's way past their bedtime, but it's thundering like crazy outside, and he guesses they were scared and retreated to the safety of their parents' bed. Helena is sprawled half asleep across the bed, just like Bruce slept - clearly, taking up as much space as possible was genetic. Tamsin is curled up against Selina's back sucking her thumb, and Selina, wearing the other half of Bruce's pajamas and a pair of panties, is nursing the baby.

He still can't believe that they gave Elise the middle name Robin. Selina had announced it with a mocking lilt to her voice, but the fact that she had allowed the name meant that she approved. He still can't get his mind around it.

"She hated Johanna," is all Bruce had to say about it.

It's such a lovely domestic scene that John's heart aches, even though he's not interested in that sort of thing. No siree. He doesn't want a wife and kids. He's happy with the revolving door of ladies, the carefree bachelor lifestyle, and being the best uncle ever to the Wayne girls.

He doesn't need a woman to share his bed every night and look at him the way Selina looks at Bruce. He doesn't need this theoretical woman to stroke his hair at night and kiss him goodbye in the morning. He also doesn't need to hold his newborn child on his chest, skin-to-skin, and feel this fragile new heart beat against his own. He doesn't need to come home at the end of the day and have this child throw itself into his arms, so glad to see their daddy. He doesn't need more.

He doesn't need it so much that he can't breathe.

"Blake?" says Bruce.

John tears his eyes away from the domestic tableau before him.

"It's nothing," he croaks. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He walks away, feeling Bruce staring after him.

He skips going out that night and instead spends his time on the couch with a bottle of really good scotch, wondering what the fuck is wrong with him.