Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks.

She Said

I told mom I'd be bringing Atem with me for spring break.

I just haven't told her about our relationship. Especially since I don't really know what it is. We have sex. A lot. But do I love him? Or am I just using him? Are we using each other?

Since I don't know, I don't say anything to her about it. But mom is more perceptive than I give her credit for.

We've been in Hokkaido one day, no a half a day. We haven't touched each other or looked at each other in a lingering manner or anything, yet, right after dinner, as we're walking mom home from the restaurant:

"Seto?"

"Yes, mom?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"About your boyfriend?"

I stop and turn to her.

"How did you…?"

"I told you she'd figure it out," Atem interjects, taking the opportunity to slide his hand in mine. It makes me uncomfortable, so I pull away.

"Seto?" He frowns at me.

"Come on, mom. Let's get you home." I take her hand and start walking quickly, leaving Atem standing dumbfounded.

"Seto," she whispers admonishingly, "why did you do that?"

"Just leave it alone, mom."

"Seto, he's not following us."

I stop and turn to say something, not finding him anywhere in sight. Shit! I'll deal with him later. I've got to get my mom home.

"That was cruel of you, Seto," she admonishes as she opens her apartment door. "To just leave him on the street like that…! What got into you?"

"He's not my boyfriend, mom. We're just…We just have sex, that's all."

"Seto, for you to bring him here, that's not all."

"I just…I need him, mom. I've gotten used to being with him all the time, but I don't really feel anything for him. Other than you, I don't feel anything for anybody! Not even Valon! And he's my best friend!"

She puts her arms around me.

"Don't let him completely destroy you, Seto. You can still get away."

I hug her back and then pull away.

"Too late," I reply as I walk out the door.

Back on the street, I try Atem's cell, but he doesn't answer.

"I'm sorry," I leave as a message.

Once back at the hotel, I find that he's packed up his suitcase and taken it with him. Shit! I've really messed things up.

I try his cell again.

"Atem, I'm really sorry. Please come back," I leave as a message.

At about 3pm the next day he finally calls me back.

"Where the hell are you?" I yell. "I've been going out of my mind!"

"Why?"

"What? What do you mean why? Are you all right? Where are you?"

"Just with some friends."

"Tell me where you are and I'll meet you. Please Atem! I'm sorry."

"I think it's best if we end this."

"What? Where is this coming from? Because I had a moment of stupidity?"

"Because I mean nothing to you, Seto."

"That's not true."

"It is. Goodbye, Seto."

"Yoshi," I plead. "Please."

A long pause.

"Don't call me that anymore, Seto."

"Yoshi…" He hangs up, and doesn't answer his phone anymore the rest of my visit.

I do my best to be cheerful for mom, but…

I decide to leave a few days early, promising mom I'll call when I get home.

"Take care of yourself, Seto."

"I will mom. I love you."

"I love you too. Call me when you get back, okay?"

"Okay."

But when I get back, I'm so tired, that I decide to take a nap first and then call her. My cell phone ringing wakes me up. It's aunt Rei. She's hysterical. I can't understand her. Uncle Harry gets on the phone and he sounds awful.

"Seto…Seto you have to come back. Your mom…"

"What? What!"

"She…She's dead Seto."

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I make all of the arrangements because uncle Harry and aunt Rei are basket cases. I'm…numb. She was my only reason for living. What's the point, now? Valon and his mom are here, but I don't acknowledge them. What I told her was true. I didn't feel anything for anyone but her. And now that she's gone...

They don't know what happened really. She was found stabbed next to a park she'd walked by thousands of times. They took her money and jewelry, but didn't rape her. By the time some one found her, she'd lost too much blood.

No suspects. No motive. No leads.

I go through the motions for everyone, but I don't cry. I can't cry. I just need to get back to the mansion and my room. Under my covers. Alone. Always alone.

"Seto?" Valon approaches. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No."

"Where's Atem?"

"We broke up."

"I'm sorry, Seto."

"Don't be. He wasn't important."

He frowns at me.

"Seto, you talked about him all the time. He had to mean something."

"The sex was good," I mumble, looking away.

"Seto…"

"Let it go, Valon."

"I'm just worried about you, Seto."

"Don't be. I won't be around long enough for you to care. Not now that mom's gone."

"Don't say stuff like that, Seto."

"It's true."

"Seto…"

Just then, one of mom's cousins walks up and I have to go back to my role of grieving son.

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Despite my protests, Valon insists on following me back home.

I go in the house long enough to change and then go to work, which is all I do for the rest of the week, skipping school completely. Valon follows me everyday. I guess he wants to make sure I don't jump off of a bridge or something.

I haven't decided if I'm going back to school or not. I only went for her.

And to see Atem.

Now I have neither of those reasons, so why bother with that either? I guess I should live, though. That way I can dismantle Kaiba Corp. once that bastard finally croaks.

Saturday evening finds Valon and me heading back to the mansion after dinner. He's finally succeeded in getting a decent conversation out of me about some country's financial markets. He enters the house first after I unlock the door and is greeted by Gozaboro's fist as he lay in wait for me. As Valon is sent sprawling in the front hallway, I feel all control leave me.

This time, I almost kill him. A servant pulls me from his heavily bleeding body and gets me to drop the bloody letter opener that I pulled from the table by the door. There are cops with the ambulance and I'm arrested. The next day, the charges magically disappear, at my fathers request. Not that I thank him.

Valon wasn't really hurt, just winded, thank the gods.

I guess my reaction to Gozaboro's attack on Valon proves that I do care about someone other than my mom.

So what about Yoshi?

I decide to go back to school Tuesday morning. Valon follows me there too.

Word that I tried to kill my own father travels fast and I'm given a very wide berth.

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"Are you alright?"

I look up from my lunchtime reading of the Financial Times to see Yoshi's worried face.

What do I say to him? I can't say I'm all right, because I'm not. I can't say I'm not, because then both he and Valon would bug me about it incessantly. And I still need to apologize…

"Seto?" He frowns at me.

I drop my paper and step over to him, searching his face for the answer to my question, 'do I love him?'

Taking his face in my hands, I kiss him lightly once, and then shower his face with kisses, before sitting back down and pulling him into my lap. I don't care that we're in the cafeteria and that I've just outed both of us to the whole school, as long as Yoshi is with me.

"I love you," I whisper against his lips as he slides his arms around my neck.

I see Valon shaking his head out of the corner of my eye.

"You never cease to amaze me, Seto," he mumbles.