Never mind the secrets that you keep
'Cause I wanna know what it takes to move the ground beneath your feet
I wanna see a smile that laughs, let you have my better half

&&&

Halloween.

"You're taking Gus Trick-or-Treating whether you want to or not."

Lindsay wouldn't take any of my shit. She said that if I had to work than I had to cancel it. When I got home and told Justin about it, I had been hoping he would be, at least a little, sympathetic about it. No, he shot me a huge grin and laughed right in my face. I should have known that this would be his reaction. Every Halloween for the last four years he's wanted to take Gus Trick-or-Treating and every year I don't oblige to his wishes because, well, do I look like Trick-or-Treating material? Uh – no. I sigh dramatically and throw myself on the couch,

"Shut up, Blondie."

"Are you dressing up too?"

He's only joking – I can tell by the grin on his face.

Little shit, "Fuck no – I said shut up."

He plops down by me feet and begins taking off my shoes and socks, smile still on his face. He's way too excited about this Halloween business. "Gus is going to be excited, though." I roll my eyes. "He won't even remember." This time Justin rolls his eyes. "He will too. Just because he's little doesn't mean he won't remember the first time he went Trick-or-Treating with his daddy. Plus, it's your duty as a father." I sigh and close my eyes as he crawls up my body and lays down on top of me, head just under my chin.

"Why don't you take him?"

Justin rolls his eyes with a smile.

"I'm not his dad."

"You might as well be."

I ignore the extremely annoying (happy) smile on his face.

&&&

The next day I drive myself and Justin over to Lindsay's house to pick up Gus. To be honest, I'm not really dreading the fact that, in just a few hours, that I'm going to have to spend time with my son. As a matter of fact, I like spending time with my son. It's just…I'd rather spend time with him doing something other than walking around a neighborhood at night and getting him enough candy to keep him on a sugar high for the rest of his fucking life. I'm taking him straight to the muncher's house afterwards 'cause there's no way in hell I'm dealing with a four-year-old with candy coming out the ass.

When we pull up Justin smiles over at me, "This is gonna be fun, Brian." I roll my eyes. Maybe I'll keep Justin here too. He'll probably be just as bad as Gus with an assload of candy in his system. When we walk inside Gus is the first to greet us.

"Daddy!"

I kneel down so I'm almost at his level and sweep him up in my arms, stand up and hold him as he babbles on about candy. Grreat. Lindsay smiles a warm smile at me – bitch – and asks Justin how he has been and they immediately begin pleasant conversation. I look around noticing something different about their house. It's oddly…peaceful. Oh, that means Melanie must be absent at the moment.

"Where's your lesbian at?"

Lindsay rolls her eyes, "She's working."

Justin comes up to Gus and me and automatically takes my son away from me. If I've thought it once I've thought it a million times despite the fact that I hate thinking about it. I mean, I'm Brian Kinney for fuck's sake and it's…sinful for me to think things along the lines of 'Justin, me, and Gus make a fucking awesome family.' See? Yeah, just plain wrong. "Hi, JusJus."

"Hi, GusGus."

Just shoot me. Even if it is…cute. Excuse my while I go hurl.

"Excited to go get candy tonight?"

Gus says he is. Imagine that. Lindsay smiles over at me.

"You'll have fun, Brian."

"Yeah, I bet."

"It's really not that bad. Just walk around for two or three hours. Maybe even less depending on how tired he gets. It's not that hard."

"Yeah, well, just so you know – I'm letting you deal with his sugar high tonight."

She doesn't say anything; she only smiles.

&&&

I drive me and Justin and our new addition, Gus, to the diner afterwards to get some late lunch – it's a very late lunch – it's four. Lindsay told me that Gus had already eaten but as soon as we walked inside he practically begged me for pizza. Who am I to tell him no? Plus, Justin wants pizza and, I guess, I'll have some fucking pizza too. Debbie hurries over to us as soon as she notices that we're here and steals my son away from me.

"Hey there, kiddo!"

I drag Justin over to the first empty table I see and we sit down while Debbie takes Gus over to show him to all her co-workers. It's not like they haven't seen him before but they always get a kick out of cooing in his face like he's still a goddamn two-year-old and pinching his cheeks. Justin and I probably won't even have to "deal" with him the entire time we're here 'cause Debbie will hog him the whole time along with Kiki. Now that I think about it – I don't think I want a drag queen screwing around with my son. I don't want him getting any ideas.

Twenty minutes after arriving Debbie finally comes back and hands my child over to me. "Whatcha guys want?"

"PIZZA!"

Justin grins, "What Gus said."

I only shrug.

"Pizza it is then. What kind?"

"PIZZA!"

Justin laughs at Gus and I quickly tell Debbie that cheese is just fine. Like Gus really cares seeing as he doesn't even know the different types of pizza – obviously. Pizza is pizza to him. Justin takes Gus out of my arms and holds him. Can't I even hold my own son? I fling my arm across Justin's shoulders to make up for the loss of my son in them a few seconds before. "What are you dressing up as, GusGus?" I haven't even opened up the bag that conceals Gus's costume in it. To be honest, I'm kind of scared to see what the muncher's have dressed him up as. Probably a construction worker or something even more scary.

Gus smiles, his small fingers playing with Justin's hair.

I can't keep my hands out of Justin's hair either.

"I'm wearin' a…costume!"

No shit Sherlock. I look my son in the eye.

"What kind of costume, Sonny Boy?"

"I'm gonna be a…BEAR!"

Thank fucking god. I smile slightly and untie the plastic bag that his costume is in and pull it out. He has to wear this? Hopefully it's cool tonight. Shit – it makes me hot just looking at it. I roll my eyes slightly but smile over at my son. "Cool." Justin sounds a little more enthusiastic about it when he actually says that he wishes he could dress up as a bear too. God, save me. Gus smiles sweetly up at my lover.

"You can too, JusJus!"

"I don't have a costume."

To put it lightly, Gus looks very put out that Justin can't dress up as a bear too. God, please don't tell me that he's actually tearing up about the whole situation. Justin hugs him briefly, pulls back and smiles down at my son. "I'll dress up next year." Hell he will. Not if I have something to do with it, which I definitely will. I smirk over at the blond.

"Yeah, only if you wear your birthday suit."

He smacks me lightly on the arm and turns back to Gus.

"Would you like that?"

Gus nods frantically. "Yeah!" Gus looks over at me with a huge smile, which I swear he somehow inherited from Justin. "Daddy! JusJus is gonna dress up next year too!" I nod, smiling slightly. What Gus doesn't know won't hurt him. Let him keep on believing that I'm going to let Justin out of the house in a fucking Halloween costume. "I bet he is." Gus suddenly smiles wider like he just had a brilliant idea.

"Can you dress up, daddy?"

Justin snorts and shoots me a look that clearly says 'you better not tell him no.'

"We'll see."

Justin and I both know that means no fucking way.

Debbie finally comes with our pizza, sits down across from us and steals Gus away from Justin. While we're eating we talk. Well, Justin and Debbie talk with Gus saying random things every minute or two between taking bites of his piece of pizza. Debbie smiles over at me, evil glint in her eyes.

"So, you're takin' him out tonight?"

"Shut up, Debbie, just shut up."

&&&

We head back to the loft at around six.

Justin professionally informs me that we need to give Gus a bath and then get him ready. Yes, mother. I hand Gus over to him, feigned sweet smile on my face. "Here, sweetie, you give the boy a bath while I go water the flowers." Justin smiles slightly and carries Gus to the bathroom with a, "I'd love to, love," and he's disappearing into the bathroom. A few seconds later I hear the bath water running. Good thing I had that bathtub installed not too long ago.

Sure, it makes my bathroom look slightly strange…

I'll get over it – I'm sure. Justin says so anyway.

While waiting for the bath to end I take Gus's costume out again. Good fucking Lord – why oh why? Why does Lindsay have to torture him so? Did Gus actually want to be a bear? I have to call her. I have to know if she's doing this against my son's will. I pick up my phone and dial her. Unfortunately, Melanie answers. "Hello?"

"Damn – you're home."

I can hear her tension through the phone.

"Oh – you."

"May I please talk to the mother of my child?"

She probably wants to pound me so bad. She probably could if she were over here. She scares the fucking hell out of me sometimes.

"Hello?"

"What the hell are you dressing our child in?"

"He wanted to be a bear."

"Fuck – He's been spending way too much time with you guys."

"It's not my fault that you don't spend a lot of time with him."

I may have to change some things.

"Are you sure he wants to wear this?"

Suddenly the phone is being taken out of my hands by a grinning Justin. "Hey, Linds. Sorry about Brian." A few minutes later he hangs up and rolls his eyes over at me. I hear Gus humming from my bedroom. "Don't bother Lindsay with stupid questions, Bri." I cross my arms over my chest. "I just wanted to make sure that they aren't forcing him to wear this shit."

"Language!"

I roll my eyes.

"Gus was telling me all about how much he loves his costume while I cleaned him up. He's absolutely ecstatic about being a bear for Halloween."

"Dang."

He smiles at me, his arms wrapping around my neck and his lips touching mine. My own arms wrap around him automatically. He pulls away when I get a little rough, shoving him against the nearest wall. His cheeks are flushed, lips swollen and his pupils are dilated. He smiles apologetically at me and I suddenly hear Gus's humming from the platform again. "Not right now, Brian." I offer him a small smile. He's the one who kissed me. He should know how I am by now.

"You're right."

"I just don't want to start anything – especially since we can't finish it."

"He does need to learn early…"

"Brian!"

He smacks me lightly on the arm and slides out from under my arms, which had blocked him in against the wall and pads up to my bedroom. Our bedroom I guess. I hear the plastic bag opening that contains his costume. "Alright, Gus, ready to get dressed?" I hear a loud 'yeah' and I walk up to watch Justin dress my son. They're both sitting on the bed and Justin's helping Gus get the outfit on. Gus stands up on the bed and, it's kind of funny to watch Gus keep falling. My mattress is soft, what can I say?

Justin finally manages to get the garment on.

Justin grins over at me.

"Doesn't he look adorable?"

They both look at me, waiting.

"Of course he does."

I pick up my son, smiling at him.

"Ready to go?"

"YEAH!"

I watch as Justin pulls the pillowcase off my pillow.

"What are you doing?"

"We need this to carry his candy in."

My poor, poor pillowcase.

"Don't worry, Bri, it'll be fine."

I don't say anything. I just hope he's right. That's a nice pillowcase. Justin hands the pillowcase over to my son and Justin must notice the expression on my face. He smiles a small smile and places a hand on my arm.

"Brian – the pillowcase will be fine."

…

"I promise."

&&&

"Time to go, Gus!"

I glance down at my watch. Seven-thirty. It's already darkening outside. Let the fun begin – not. Justin walks out the door with Gus in his arms and large smile on his face. Again: He's way, way too excited about this Halloween business. I set the alarm and lock the door before leading them out to my jeep. I start the vehicle while Justin straps him in. When he's done he gets in the passenger side. I make a show of buckling in the blond myself, kissing him for a few seconds in the process. Grinning, he pushes me away.

"What'd I say?"

"I don't know – You say quite a lot."

&&&

When we get to an actual neighborhood I park.

There are other kids out in their own costumes. Why the hell is there parents dressing up their four-year-olds as Scream? That's way beyond me – and people call me a sick fuck? This time I get Gus out and set him down on the ground. Justin hands him his – MY – pillowcase. We both grab a hand and start out on the walk of fucking death. Ok, so maybe I'm being dramatic but this is not my kind of thing and everyone knows it. Especially Lindsay.

"Let's go to this house, Gus!"

Justin leads us to the first house we see.

He helps Gus with the whole "Trick-or-Treat" thing.

This goes on for two hours.

&&&

I fling myself on the couch when we get home.

"This has been the most trying day of my life."

Justin snorts from in the kitchen where he's getting some food ready. I refused to eat with Mel and Linds when they offered to cook something up. By the time we dropped him off it had been nine-thirty and I was ready to get home and do ungodly things to Justin – after he cooked for me. As far as I'm concerned, he's a way better cook than Lindsay is, though I won't tell her that. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, now would I?

"What do you want, Bri?"

"Peace and quiet."

"I mean to eat, drama queen."

"Nothing having to do with candy."

"Well, that could be a number of things,"

"Just make some fucking food, Justin."

He laughs from in the kitchen, knowing very well that he's getting on my last nerve. "Yes, master." I mumble that's more like it and he threatens not to give me any tonight, which would be very bad considering that I absolutely need him tonight. I've been hanging out with kids and candy and Lindsay's bullshit all day – I need some TLC from the blond in the kitchen and if I don't get it than I'll be one very cranky, sexually frustrated man.

The smell of Jambalaya wafts through my loft and I get up.

I'm bored of sitting anyway.

I make my way into the kitchen, walk behind my blond and wrap my arms around his waist – pull him against me. "I'm trying to cook." I nuzzle his neck with my nose and lips, kissing him lightly on the collarbone. "I'm trying to convince you to stop long enough to kiss me." He shakes his head. "And we both know that kissing will lead to fucking and I don't want to burn our food." I sigh, heavily, and pull away, leaning on the counter next to him.

Yawning, I pull my shirt up over my head.

Ok, I'm not just taking it off casually – I'm trying to tempt him here.

He doesn't even look my way so, I unbutton my jeans.

Still – no reaction.

"Justin,"

"What do you want now?"

"I want you in my bed now."

"Keep your pants on – it's done."

I sigh again, tapping my foot on the floor.

"Now that I think about it, I'm not hungry at the moment. Well, for food anyway."

Justin smiles over at me, turning off the stove.

"My mom says it's better the second day…"

Yeah, so I've heard.

&&&

"I was thinking about torturing you tonight – getting out my whip and handcuffs and playing the big bad cop but…I'm way to fucking horny to do that right now so, you'll have to do with just me, Brian, fucking you."

Justin doesn't look too disappointed.

He doesn't look disappointed at all.

I figured as much.

"But, I swear, tomorrow night I'm pulling out every device I can and using every single one of them on you."

Justin nods frantically. He's almost out of all his clothes except for his underwear, which he's successfully getting off right now as I stand next to the bed that he's sitting on talking to him. I know he wants me to stop talking, grab a condom and lube and fuck him extra hard and rough, like, now. And, I will, oh, I will alright. I'm already naked – I had taken the liberty to tear off my pants on the way over here. I kneel down on the bed and hover over him.

"Does that sound alright to you?"

"Will you just fucking fuck me already?"

Mere seconds later I'm moving inside of him – moving in and out frantically. I'm moving so fast I almost can't keep up with myself. His nails are digging into my back, hands gripping so hard. His legs are wound tightly around me, heels pressing hard into my ass and his lips, tongue and teeth scraping, biting, and licking over my neck, shoulder, mouth – anything they can reach.

He mumbles my name, screams my name, and moans my name.

My name – it's everywhere and I promise myself that I won't say his.

I do anyway – it's muffled against his neck so maybe he won't hear it. I drag my dick across his prostate hoping that he'll be too out of it to hear my moans. I reach between us, grabbing his cock in my hand and start jerking him off to get him off before I do – I don't want to be the one to come first. It only takes a few seconds and then he's coming all over the two of us, screaming out my name. Loud. I bet the people downstairs and upstairs heard it. I'll probably get a note in the morning on my door telling me to keep it quiet.

I have before.

&&&

"Rise and shine!"

I moan, "Justin – go fuck yourself."

"I was hoping you'd do it for me."

"You've always been so charming."

"I know! That's what you love about me."

I don't tell him that I don't love him but I don't tell him that I do either. That'd be against all my rules – then again, I've already broken so many, haven't I? I pull a pillow over my face hoping that he'll go away and let me sleep some more. No such luck. He pulls the pillow away from me, straddling me in the process and, probably purposely, grinding his ass against my morning wood. "C'mon, Brian, I was just about to get in the bath." Since when does he take baths?

"You mean…an actual bath?"

"Yeah. A bath in a bath tub. I want you to fuck me in it."

"You've never been subtle have you?"

"No, now c'mon. My ass is calling your dick."

"Quite the mouth, young man."

"I've learned from the master."

I smile slightly, stroking his cock in my hand.

"You've learned everything from the master."

"Yeah, well, now you have to each me the best way to fuck in a bathtub."