All right, I know I said that I'd have the next chapter out quicker, but I
had a lot of unexpected surprises (huh, that was sort of redundant, eh?) at
home and didn't have any free time to finish it until today. So, sorry
about that.
Thanks to all my reviewers for their input and here we go with the fourth installment of "An Act of Desperation."
Disclaimer: As you all know, I did not write Harry Potter, so I think you also all know that I do not get paid for this little story. So, yeah, no money for me! Just your kind reviews (hint, hint), so read on.
~`~`~`~`~ Chapter 4: Explanations, Vows, and More Explanations ~`~`~`~`~
"Dumbledore!"
And, indeed, it was he. Hermione stepped back unwillingly from the door into the arms of a shocked Lupin. She shrugged him off forcefully and glared for a bit before returning her full attention back to the aging Headmaster before her.
"Pro--Professor? What are you doing here?"
He smiled softly and warmly, like a fire in a wood cabin fireplace in the middle of winter, making Hermione feel oddly safe and comforted. "I came to see you, Mrs. Weasley."
She looked up at him, almost fearful of what he might say, but more for what he might know. "Wha--What about, sir?"
"About some recent happenings. And something that requires your and my immediate attention." He walked into the flat's kitchen and took a seat at the small table. Hermione followed slowly and took a seat beside him. Hannah positioned herself beside her former classmate, already taking the role of protective mother hen. Harry sat beside her and took her hand in his and stroked the top of it lightly. The mere sight of it caused Hermione to remember earlier when Ron had done the same thing to her when she was upset. Tears welled in her eyes, but she quickly brushed them away with the swipe of a hand. She turned her eyes to Dumbledore and tried her hardest to focus on what he said.
"I know that we're all aware by now of the new law and that it requires Hermione to marry or leave. I also know that Hermione has received quite the variety of propositions ranging from Neville to my colleagues Professor Snape and Remus Lupin. I know as well that Hermione's agreed to Remus'. We need now to make sure that she understands the full weight of her decision to marry him. You see, I also know that it wasn't just care for Hermione that pressured Remus to ask her for her hand in marriage."
Hermione looked up at Lupin in surprise. If it wasn't just care and fear for her well-being that prompted the proposal, she couldn't even begin to fathom what other reasons could have taken part in it. He returned her gaze a bit sheepishly, but just as intensely as he always had. Before long, she had to look away.
"You see, last night, after the dreadful event in which we lost Ron, there was a meeting at Headquarters," Dumbledore continued. "You, Harry, and you, Hannah, weren't present. You came to Hermione's before it began and returned long after it was over. Anyway, we discussed Hermione's position and how we could avoid it. Other than the fact that we could hide her away in Grimmauld place, the only other solution was to have her marry. During our discussion, I spoke with Severus and asked him, as the only unmarried man present who could care for her in a way that was fit." He turned to Hermione apologetically. "I did try to approach the two other Weasley boys, Percy and Fred, but they had already promised to marry two of their Muggleborn friends and, well, they are your brothers-in-law. It could have been quite the situation for you, my dear." He turned then to Lupin. "I am sorry that I didn't think to ask you, Remus, but I know that you have recently lost Nymphadora and I had no desire to ask this of you."
Remus stared coolly back at the man he most respected. "I wouldn't have expected anything else, sir, but I didn't think that Hermione would agree to Snape's proposal, and I didn't know of Neville's, so I thought that she might agree with me. And I do care for her, sir."
Hermione stared at him for a moment before looking down at her hands.
"Yes, of course, Remus. It was very thoughtful of you." Dumbledore folded his hands in front of him seriously. "However, we will have to immediately perform the marriage ceremony. I have the suspicion that the leader of these Death Eater revolts is giving orders to capture the best friends of the famous Harry Potter. Since Ron has already been captured and, and please pardon the crude expression Hermione, taken out of the picture, there only remains his wife. If she goes out into the Muggle world tomorrow, she will, more than likely, be snatched up in a matter of hours. Her safety was, and still is, top priority, and I need to be sure that you both know that once you two are married that you will be expected to live in Grimmauld Place or as nearly to it as possible."
Both nodded solemnly.
Dumbledore smiled briefly, the usual bright twinkle finally returning. "Well, then," he continued, a bit more jovially than before. "Let us get on with the marriage." He pushed his chair back on the cold kitchen linoleum quickly and stood. Everyone looked up at him expectantly. "Stand please," he prompted after a minute of silence.
Everyone, obediently, stood.
"Remus, Hermione, take each other's hands, please."
They complied.
"Now, if you, Harry, and you, Hannah, would be so kind as to take your places beside the bride and groom, we can begin."
They took their places and Dumbledore began.
Within a matter of moments, the vows were complete, the kiss had been kissed and the congratulations had been said. They sat down at the kitchen table hand in hand. Hermione tried to pull her hand away from him, but Remus only held it tighter.
Grudgingly, she quit trying to remove her hand, but the minute he loosened his grip, she yanked it away and folded her arms about her chest so as not to lose control of it again.
"Hermione?" Harry called to her from beside the door. "Could you come here for a minute?"
She looked up at Lupin, a little uncertainly, and then went to meet her friend.
"Yes, Harry?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper. "What is it?"
He grabbed Hannah's hand in his and reached for hers with the other. "We're going to be leaving now. Go to Headquarters. Me and Hannah'll be living there for a while until we can find our own place. I hear that you and Remus will be moving in there to after a few days. Dumbledore told us. You guys are to have a few days to yourself first. A...honeymoon of sorts. We'll look after Evie till you get back. Then I suppose we'll all be like one big happy family." He hugged her quickly, pulling Hannah around them as well. "See you in a couple of days, 'Mione."
She watched the two Potters, and then a jogging Neville, leave her flat in stunned and accepting silence. Professor Lupin had forgotten to mention the fact that she'd be moving to Grimmauld Place to live with the Order. She could have sworn that Lupin had his own flat nearer to Hogwarts than her own. London was too far from the home she loved and the people she had known for a year since she and Ron had moved in.
She closed the door behind them and returned to Remus' side near Dumbledore and Snape. She listened to them talking for a few minutes before she couldn't take it any longer. All they spoke of was the Order and new missions. She wanted them to stop speaking of the missions that were killing all of the people she knew and had come to love. She wanted to hear of happy things like Harry and Hannah's marriage, or whether Cho and Aidan Quinn had had their baby yet. She stood quickly and whipped her chair out behind her.
All the members that still sat looked up at her in surprise. She glared in response. "I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight Professor Snape, Professor Dumbledore, Professor Lupin." She nodded at them in turn before retreating in the direction of her bedroom.
"Hermione?"
She turned around to face her standing former Headmaster. "Yes, sir?"
He smiled at her genuinely, the sparkle bright and pleasant in his eye. "I, too, shall be taking my leave of you. Would you please see me to the door?" She nodded the affirmative and opened it for him.
Right before he exited the small flat, he whispered to her quietly. "I am truly sorry that your fate has come to this. But remember--even from the most desperate of actions one can find happiness again. And I do wish you all the luck." He winked once and walked swiftly down the hall and away from her.
She returned to her course once more and passed the two remaining men seated in her kitchen. As she walked by, she could hear Snape whisper snidely to her new husband.
"Married and she still calls you 'Professor'?" She could almost see the sneer on her old Potions Professor's face. "Really, old man, I wouldn't expect much of anything from her." The voice grew quieter and more venomous, but she could still hear it if she strained. "I guess the Honeymoon will be rather...lacking, won't it?" She didn't need to see his face or the crude hand gestures to know what he meant. She whipped around quickly to face the sallow faced and hook nosed man and slapped him soundly across the face.
"Don't you ever say anything like that again," she spat dangerously. "Don't you ever." And with that she quickly entered her room, slammed the door, and locked it behind her. She leaned against the stiff wooden door and slid down its length to the floor. When she hit the ground she felt the tears fall from her eyes in streams.
Too much. That's what it was. She could feel the pain inside. And the confusion. And the fear. She could hear the sounds of Remus yelling at Snape and, in a sense, protecting her from men and remarks like him. It made her feel happy and safe and angry and guilty. She wanted to yell at him to stop being husbandly and she wanted to embrace him for telling Snape what was what. She leaned her head against the wall and tried to catch her breath and stop the tears, which did, after a few minutes, slowed.
Standing slowly, Hermione made her way to her unmade bed and fell on it. It hadn't been since that fateful morning that she had laid on it and now, when she set her head close to HIS side, she could still feel him. The place was still warm, or so it seemed, as though he had just gotten up to make some coffee or to go out and read the Daily Prophet in the kitchen. She could feel the tears rise, but she held them down.
A knock sounded on her door, shaking her out of her almost hypnotic trance. "Hermione?'
Lupin. Of course. She didn't know who else she had expected it to be, but the minute her door had been rapped with a fist, she felt her heart leap into her throat.
"What do you want?" She had no intention of being truly kind to him, no matter how nice he'd been to her.
She could almost feel him hesitate, even though she could not see him. "May I speak with you?"
She stood up and walked towards the door. "Aren't you speaking with me now?"
"No, I mean face to face."
Still never one to disobey an order straight to a teacher's face; she obliged his wishes and opened the door. Before she even looked at him, she headed back to her bed and sat on the edge, her eyes facing the floor. "What do you want, sir?"
He laughed humorlessly. "You needn't call me 'sir', Hermione. I'm Remus. Not Professor, not Lupin, just Remus."
"All right, REMUS," she said, emphasizing his name. It felt foreign on her tongue. She had never called any of her teachers by first name before. "What do you want?"
Remus sighed heavily. He lifted her face up to face him by her chin. "I want you to listen to me. Listen to everything." She nodded quickly.
"I didn't marry you because I didn't think that you wouldn't accept Snape's proposal. I knew you would because he'd make you realize the position of the Order and of yourself. I didn't ask you because I needed help with Evie. The two of us are fine. Whenever I need help I have Molly there and she knows what she's doing when it comes to babies. She's had enough of them. I asked you because I knew that no one else could care for you the way you needed to be cared for. Snape couldn't care less, really. He feels guilty for not being able to save Ron, but he would not take the time to care for you and make sure that you were all right. His days would be spent in the dank and the dark while he tried to make some new plan or potion for the Order. Neville would try, sure enough, but he is too foolhardy and too inattentive to be of much use to anyone. He tries, but that's about all he can do. You need someone who can be there for you. Now don't think that I'm so sure of my abilities, but I know that no one else could ever satisfy your need for affection. I do care for you Hermione. Really, I do." He took her hand in his.
She had been very complying up until that point. She believed his reasons, though they disappointed her a bit, but she knew there was still more he wasn't willing to say. Then, when he had taken her hand, she had snapped. She pulled it away quickly.
"Don't, Remus, don't," she whispered. "Don't touch me. I--I don't want anyone to touch me right now." She stared at him. "Especially you, sir. I don't love you or anyone else. I don't want to be touched. Don't. Please, I--" She stood up. "Please leave me now, sir. I'd rather be alone right now. You know, to--to think this over. I'll speak with you in the morning."
He stood up, his shoulders slumped and his face weary. "Right. Of course." He walked to the door. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night."
He walked out of the room, turned off the lights, and closed the door. She could hear his footsteps walking to the other end of the sitting room to the couch. As soon as she was sure that he was lying down, she lied down as well. Her thoughts came and went in the soft moonlight and the tears did as well.
She wiped her cheeks. Crying wasn't something that Hermione did. Crying was for small children and babies and old menopausal women. Not for Hermione. Hermione had known pain throughout her child, she had known worry, she had known stress, but she had never really known loss. Now that she did, she wanted nothing more to be a small child so that she might have reason for her useless tears. But Ron had always said she was like a little girl in her curiosity and need for knowledge. Maybe her tears were warranted. Letting out a stifled sob over thoughts of Ron, she rolled over and tried to sleep, but it wasn't until dawn nearly broke that her eyes finally closed.
~`~`~`~`~ I know, I know. It was sort of a lousy and short chapter, but the story will get better with time. Just review and I'll try to get the next chapter out soon! Thank you guys!
Thanks to all my reviewers for their input and here we go with the fourth installment of "An Act of Desperation."
Disclaimer: As you all know, I did not write Harry Potter, so I think you also all know that I do not get paid for this little story. So, yeah, no money for me! Just your kind reviews (hint, hint), so read on.
~`~`~`~`~ Chapter 4: Explanations, Vows, and More Explanations ~`~`~`~`~
"Dumbledore!"
And, indeed, it was he. Hermione stepped back unwillingly from the door into the arms of a shocked Lupin. She shrugged him off forcefully and glared for a bit before returning her full attention back to the aging Headmaster before her.
"Pro--Professor? What are you doing here?"
He smiled softly and warmly, like a fire in a wood cabin fireplace in the middle of winter, making Hermione feel oddly safe and comforted. "I came to see you, Mrs. Weasley."
She looked up at him, almost fearful of what he might say, but more for what he might know. "Wha--What about, sir?"
"About some recent happenings. And something that requires your and my immediate attention." He walked into the flat's kitchen and took a seat at the small table. Hermione followed slowly and took a seat beside him. Hannah positioned herself beside her former classmate, already taking the role of protective mother hen. Harry sat beside her and took her hand in his and stroked the top of it lightly. The mere sight of it caused Hermione to remember earlier when Ron had done the same thing to her when she was upset. Tears welled in her eyes, but she quickly brushed them away with the swipe of a hand. She turned her eyes to Dumbledore and tried her hardest to focus on what he said.
"I know that we're all aware by now of the new law and that it requires Hermione to marry or leave. I also know that Hermione has received quite the variety of propositions ranging from Neville to my colleagues Professor Snape and Remus Lupin. I know as well that Hermione's agreed to Remus'. We need now to make sure that she understands the full weight of her decision to marry him. You see, I also know that it wasn't just care for Hermione that pressured Remus to ask her for her hand in marriage."
Hermione looked up at Lupin in surprise. If it wasn't just care and fear for her well-being that prompted the proposal, she couldn't even begin to fathom what other reasons could have taken part in it. He returned her gaze a bit sheepishly, but just as intensely as he always had. Before long, she had to look away.
"You see, last night, after the dreadful event in which we lost Ron, there was a meeting at Headquarters," Dumbledore continued. "You, Harry, and you, Hannah, weren't present. You came to Hermione's before it began and returned long after it was over. Anyway, we discussed Hermione's position and how we could avoid it. Other than the fact that we could hide her away in Grimmauld place, the only other solution was to have her marry. During our discussion, I spoke with Severus and asked him, as the only unmarried man present who could care for her in a way that was fit." He turned to Hermione apologetically. "I did try to approach the two other Weasley boys, Percy and Fred, but they had already promised to marry two of their Muggleborn friends and, well, they are your brothers-in-law. It could have been quite the situation for you, my dear." He turned then to Lupin. "I am sorry that I didn't think to ask you, Remus, but I know that you have recently lost Nymphadora and I had no desire to ask this of you."
Remus stared coolly back at the man he most respected. "I wouldn't have expected anything else, sir, but I didn't think that Hermione would agree to Snape's proposal, and I didn't know of Neville's, so I thought that she might agree with me. And I do care for her, sir."
Hermione stared at him for a moment before looking down at her hands.
"Yes, of course, Remus. It was very thoughtful of you." Dumbledore folded his hands in front of him seriously. "However, we will have to immediately perform the marriage ceremony. I have the suspicion that the leader of these Death Eater revolts is giving orders to capture the best friends of the famous Harry Potter. Since Ron has already been captured and, and please pardon the crude expression Hermione, taken out of the picture, there only remains his wife. If she goes out into the Muggle world tomorrow, she will, more than likely, be snatched up in a matter of hours. Her safety was, and still is, top priority, and I need to be sure that you both know that once you two are married that you will be expected to live in Grimmauld Place or as nearly to it as possible."
Both nodded solemnly.
Dumbledore smiled briefly, the usual bright twinkle finally returning. "Well, then," he continued, a bit more jovially than before. "Let us get on with the marriage." He pushed his chair back on the cold kitchen linoleum quickly and stood. Everyone looked up at him expectantly. "Stand please," he prompted after a minute of silence.
Everyone, obediently, stood.
"Remus, Hermione, take each other's hands, please."
They complied.
"Now, if you, Harry, and you, Hannah, would be so kind as to take your places beside the bride and groom, we can begin."
They took their places and Dumbledore began.
Within a matter of moments, the vows were complete, the kiss had been kissed and the congratulations had been said. They sat down at the kitchen table hand in hand. Hermione tried to pull her hand away from him, but Remus only held it tighter.
Grudgingly, she quit trying to remove her hand, but the minute he loosened his grip, she yanked it away and folded her arms about her chest so as not to lose control of it again.
"Hermione?" Harry called to her from beside the door. "Could you come here for a minute?"
She looked up at Lupin, a little uncertainly, and then went to meet her friend.
"Yes, Harry?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper. "What is it?"
He grabbed Hannah's hand in his and reached for hers with the other. "We're going to be leaving now. Go to Headquarters. Me and Hannah'll be living there for a while until we can find our own place. I hear that you and Remus will be moving in there to after a few days. Dumbledore told us. You guys are to have a few days to yourself first. A...honeymoon of sorts. We'll look after Evie till you get back. Then I suppose we'll all be like one big happy family." He hugged her quickly, pulling Hannah around them as well. "See you in a couple of days, 'Mione."
She watched the two Potters, and then a jogging Neville, leave her flat in stunned and accepting silence. Professor Lupin had forgotten to mention the fact that she'd be moving to Grimmauld Place to live with the Order. She could have sworn that Lupin had his own flat nearer to Hogwarts than her own. London was too far from the home she loved and the people she had known for a year since she and Ron had moved in.
She closed the door behind them and returned to Remus' side near Dumbledore and Snape. She listened to them talking for a few minutes before she couldn't take it any longer. All they spoke of was the Order and new missions. She wanted them to stop speaking of the missions that were killing all of the people she knew and had come to love. She wanted to hear of happy things like Harry and Hannah's marriage, or whether Cho and Aidan Quinn had had their baby yet. She stood quickly and whipped her chair out behind her.
All the members that still sat looked up at her in surprise. She glared in response. "I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight Professor Snape, Professor Dumbledore, Professor Lupin." She nodded at them in turn before retreating in the direction of her bedroom.
"Hermione?"
She turned around to face her standing former Headmaster. "Yes, sir?"
He smiled at her genuinely, the sparkle bright and pleasant in his eye. "I, too, shall be taking my leave of you. Would you please see me to the door?" She nodded the affirmative and opened it for him.
Right before he exited the small flat, he whispered to her quietly. "I am truly sorry that your fate has come to this. But remember--even from the most desperate of actions one can find happiness again. And I do wish you all the luck." He winked once and walked swiftly down the hall and away from her.
She returned to her course once more and passed the two remaining men seated in her kitchen. As she walked by, she could hear Snape whisper snidely to her new husband.
"Married and she still calls you 'Professor'?" She could almost see the sneer on her old Potions Professor's face. "Really, old man, I wouldn't expect much of anything from her." The voice grew quieter and more venomous, but she could still hear it if she strained. "I guess the Honeymoon will be rather...lacking, won't it?" She didn't need to see his face or the crude hand gestures to know what he meant. She whipped around quickly to face the sallow faced and hook nosed man and slapped him soundly across the face.
"Don't you ever say anything like that again," she spat dangerously. "Don't you ever." And with that she quickly entered her room, slammed the door, and locked it behind her. She leaned against the stiff wooden door and slid down its length to the floor. When she hit the ground she felt the tears fall from her eyes in streams.
Too much. That's what it was. She could feel the pain inside. And the confusion. And the fear. She could hear the sounds of Remus yelling at Snape and, in a sense, protecting her from men and remarks like him. It made her feel happy and safe and angry and guilty. She wanted to yell at him to stop being husbandly and she wanted to embrace him for telling Snape what was what. She leaned her head against the wall and tried to catch her breath and stop the tears, which did, after a few minutes, slowed.
Standing slowly, Hermione made her way to her unmade bed and fell on it. It hadn't been since that fateful morning that she had laid on it and now, when she set her head close to HIS side, she could still feel him. The place was still warm, or so it seemed, as though he had just gotten up to make some coffee or to go out and read the Daily Prophet in the kitchen. She could feel the tears rise, but she held them down.
A knock sounded on her door, shaking her out of her almost hypnotic trance. "Hermione?'
Lupin. Of course. She didn't know who else she had expected it to be, but the minute her door had been rapped with a fist, she felt her heart leap into her throat.
"What do you want?" She had no intention of being truly kind to him, no matter how nice he'd been to her.
She could almost feel him hesitate, even though she could not see him. "May I speak with you?"
She stood up and walked towards the door. "Aren't you speaking with me now?"
"No, I mean face to face."
Still never one to disobey an order straight to a teacher's face; she obliged his wishes and opened the door. Before she even looked at him, she headed back to her bed and sat on the edge, her eyes facing the floor. "What do you want, sir?"
He laughed humorlessly. "You needn't call me 'sir', Hermione. I'm Remus. Not Professor, not Lupin, just Remus."
"All right, REMUS," she said, emphasizing his name. It felt foreign on her tongue. She had never called any of her teachers by first name before. "What do you want?"
Remus sighed heavily. He lifted her face up to face him by her chin. "I want you to listen to me. Listen to everything." She nodded quickly.
"I didn't marry you because I didn't think that you wouldn't accept Snape's proposal. I knew you would because he'd make you realize the position of the Order and of yourself. I didn't ask you because I needed help with Evie. The two of us are fine. Whenever I need help I have Molly there and she knows what she's doing when it comes to babies. She's had enough of them. I asked you because I knew that no one else could care for you the way you needed to be cared for. Snape couldn't care less, really. He feels guilty for not being able to save Ron, but he would not take the time to care for you and make sure that you were all right. His days would be spent in the dank and the dark while he tried to make some new plan or potion for the Order. Neville would try, sure enough, but he is too foolhardy and too inattentive to be of much use to anyone. He tries, but that's about all he can do. You need someone who can be there for you. Now don't think that I'm so sure of my abilities, but I know that no one else could ever satisfy your need for affection. I do care for you Hermione. Really, I do." He took her hand in his.
She had been very complying up until that point. She believed his reasons, though they disappointed her a bit, but she knew there was still more he wasn't willing to say. Then, when he had taken her hand, she had snapped. She pulled it away quickly.
"Don't, Remus, don't," she whispered. "Don't touch me. I--I don't want anyone to touch me right now." She stared at him. "Especially you, sir. I don't love you or anyone else. I don't want to be touched. Don't. Please, I--" She stood up. "Please leave me now, sir. I'd rather be alone right now. You know, to--to think this over. I'll speak with you in the morning."
He stood up, his shoulders slumped and his face weary. "Right. Of course." He walked to the door. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night."
He walked out of the room, turned off the lights, and closed the door. She could hear his footsteps walking to the other end of the sitting room to the couch. As soon as she was sure that he was lying down, she lied down as well. Her thoughts came and went in the soft moonlight and the tears did as well.
She wiped her cheeks. Crying wasn't something that Hermione did. Crying was for small children and babies and old menopausal women. Not for Hermione. Hermione had known pain throughout her child, she had known worry, she had known stress, but she had never really known loss. Now that she did, she wanted nothing more to be a small child so that she might have reason for her useless tears. But Ron had always said she was like a little girl in her curiosity and need for knowledge. Maybe her tears were warranted. Letting out a stifled sob over thoughts of Ron, she rolled over and tried to sleep, but it wasn't until dawn nearly broke that her eyes finally closed.
~`~`~`~`~ I know, I know. It was sort of a lousy and short chapter, but the story will get better with time. Just review and I'll try to get the next chapter out soon! Thank you guys!