PART THREE

It wasn't that bad sharing a computer with Tigger. It was actually kind of fun because they could compare their lettersfrom their Russian women. Tigger had selected a twenty-six year old waitress named Oksanna. The letters between Roo and Sveta were growing deeper and more intimate by the day. Sveta even proclaimed Roo as her reason for being, the reason she was born, her destiny, her world. At their two month anniversary Roo sent her a tennis bracelet he bought through the online agency and she sent him some fine chocolate.

Kanga noticed that Tigger was spending more time up in Roo's room on the computer than shooting hoops outside like he used to. She couldn't imagine Tigger being fascinated by a computer but at least he was out of her hair and since he wasn't outside she didn't have to deal with his sketchy looking friends hanging around yacking with him while they walked back to the halfway house for AA meetings.

One day Roo received a letter from Sveta saying that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She wanted to be the mother of his babies, she wanted to wake up next to him every single day. Like most men Roo was frightened by this letter.

"What do I do Tigger?" Roo asked. "This is too much. I don't want to get married yet. I'm still in elementary school."

"Don't worry about it," Tigger told him. "She's half a world away in Russia with no means of getting over here. Plus you're the man. Unless you present her with the ring you don't have to worry about waking up next to her for the rest of your life. That's what's so grand about having a pen pal so far away. You don't have to worry, and you can still make sure they're hot."

Tigger was really on the Russian pen pal bandwagon. He was writing to six totally gorgeous Russian girls who all totally adored him. Tigger thought that this Russian pen pal agency was the best thing since $5.99 all you can eat buffets.

It was Friday. Roo happily charged on home from school. It was one of those glorious childhood weekends where there wasn't any homework or dippy busywork projects assigned. Roo could devote the whole weekend to watching football, eating pizza, playing with pals, and to fiddling around with Sveta. He woke up his I-Mac and logged online.

"You've got mail," it chirped.

"Yes," Roo chanted. He rarely received snail mail so any mail even if it was online was like a great event. Roo was like a kid going into a candy shop as he pulled up Sveta's latest letter.

My dear sexy Roo,

I have the most wonderful news. I have always wanted to be held in your strong biceps and now my dream can come true. In an hour I will be boarding a plane to America just to see you. I am very excited to visit the Hundred Acre Wood, but most of all to lay snuggled in your arms. I know you are busy with your work so do not worry about me if I come when you are not home. I will wait for you.

Love,

Your Sveta.

Roo read the letter once, twice, three times. His stomach felt like lead. He felt nauseous. How could this be happening? Why did Sveta have to come all the way to America? Where'd she get the money? Roo was numb with shock.

"Roo, Roo," Kanga called. The sound of his mother calling brought Roo back to reality. "Sweetie," she called. "I have a snack for you."

Roo knew if he didn't take action he wouldn't be known as "Sweetie" for long. Not by Kanga or Sveta. Quickly Roo clicked Sveta's letter off the computer screen as Kanga entered the room carrying a tray with some milk and cookies. "I baked you some vegan soy peanut butter cookies, and here's a glass of soy milk as a little treat to start off your weekend," she announced. The plate of shiny, slimy, cookies made Roo feel even sicker than Sveta's letter had.

"Uh thanks Ma," Roo replied.

"Are you okay?" Kanga asked. "Are you enjoying your new computer?"

"Yes Ma."

"Are you playing your Math Miester game?" Kanga asked.

"Yes" Roo replied.

"Have you tried your Encarta Encyclopedia yet?" Kanga asked.

"Yes Mother."

"Oh I'm so glad. Try looking up the article on the Dead Sea Scrolls," Kanga said. "I think you will find it quite illuminating."

"Yeah," Roo said.

"The Mac Daddy is having a sale on software this weekend," Kanga went on. "There's this software on the human body that might be fun. We could get it for you. It would come in handy when you get to biology class."

"Sure Ma," Roo replied.

"Oh Roo I'm so glad you're taking an interest in your studies now that we got you the computer. We were hesitant to spend the money on it but your father and I both think it was the best money we ever spent. You're reading more, inquiring about the world around you, with the internet everything is within your reach, even if they are world's away."

"Uh just what do you mean?" Roo asked. His heart began to thud. Did Kanga know about Sveta?

"Well say you wanted to study vegetation that only grows in Africa. With the internet you can almost transport yourself to Africa," Kanga explained. "That computer is going to help you get into an ivy league college such as Harvard or Stanford."

"Yeah Ma," Roo said blankly. His mother thought he was up studying African vegetation and Dead Sea Scrolls when he was really busy studying what present to send to Sveta, and what neurosurgeons did in an average day. "Ma I'm thinking. I need some time to myself."

"Uh okay," Kanga said. "I get the hint. You don't want me around. I'll leave you to yourself. If you want more cookies there's more in the kitchen." Once Kanga had left Roo gazed at the gross mound of soy cookies. He mashed one up into a million little crumbs and then dumped it into his glass of milk.

"Disgusting," he moped. He brought up Sveta's letter. He had hoped that maybe by some miraculous grace of God he had read the letter wrong and Sveta wasn't on her way to the Hundred Acre Wood, but it was naïve. For the letter was the exact same as it had been. Just then there the doorbell rang. Roo jumped in his skin. Was she here all ready? Kanga had already answered the door. Roo waited silently just waiting for his ass to get kicked.