PART FOUR

To his relief he heard the door shut. Roo ran to the window and peered outside. Two Mormon boys were disappearing down the porch stairs and over to the next door neighbor's house.

"Thank God," Roo moaned. But he knew next time he wouldn't be so lucky. Next time it would be Sveta and his mother couldn't answer that door. She couldn't find out about Sveta. Roo checked to see when the letter was written. It was written around one that afternoon. Sveta would probably be showing up the next morning if she wasn't delayed or anything. Roo would have to work fast. But what could he do? His parents never went anywhere on Saturday morning. He couldn't lie and say Sveta had the wrong house because Sveta had sent presents to his address. He would ask Tigger what to do. Tigger was good at scheming and getting out of deep shit. Roo impatiently waited for Tigger to return from his job making sandwiches at Subway. Tigger usually came home at five but this particular day he didn't come home until seven. Roo was bursting with impatience. As soon as Tigger's beat up Oldsmobile Cutlass pulled in the driveway Roo darted over to the garage.

"Tigger," Roo yelled. "Tigger!"

Tigger opened the door. He was still in his Subway uniform.

"Hey I just got home. Give me a break dude."

"Where were you," Roo demanded. "You're supposed to be home at five!"

"Hey who the hell do you think you are?" Tigger shot back. "The day the peanut gallery tells me when I'm supposed to be home is the day I read a Belva Plain novel! Now if you don't mind I have to get ready. Pete Moss invited me to a party at Randy's with chicks from Sweden. I need to take a shower and get this assy looking uniform off before he picks me up."

"Speaking of chicks from Sweden I'm having a problem with my chick from Russia," said Roo knowing this would grab Tigger's attention. Roo explained to Tigger about Sveta coming to the Hundred Acre Wood.

"Wow," Tigger breathed. "You're in deep shit. I'm so glad I'm not you right now."

"What do I do?" Roo whined.

"Find out how to do brain surgery." Tigger said.

"Tigger I need you to be serious," Roo demanded. "If my parents find out they will kill me."

"So will Sveta," Tigger replied.

"What about if I look in the phone book for a neurosurgeon and ask one to stand in for me?" Roo asked. "Then I need to find some way to get my parents out of the house tomorrow."

"Roo if you ask a neurosurgeon to pretend to be you because you lied to your Russian mail order bride they are going to want to do a lobotomy on you," Tigger laughed. "You think some big shot neurosurgeon is going to give up a Saturday of playing golf for you? Even if it means they get a nice slice of hot Russian ass?"

"Well than I have to get Mom and Dad out of the house for the day," said Roo. I'd rather have to turn Sveta away then have them find out. Sveta could be here as early as tomorrow morning. I don't know how I'm going to get my parents out of the house that early. They usually lay in bed until noon on Saturdays. It's my Dad's only day to sleep in."

"I have an idea," said Tigger.

Later that night Roo knocked on the door of his father's study. When Geoff's door was shut it meat that Roo was not supposed to bother him, but this was an emergency. There was no answer so Roo knocked again. Nothing so Roo knocked once again.

"Jesus Christ Roo what the hell do you want?" Geoff bellowed. Roo opened the door and entered the study.

"Hi Pa," said Roo.

"I'm trying to work in here," Geoff barked. "You know when the door is shut that it means I'm busy. Now I'm working on a very high profile case."

"Dad have I ever told you that I love you," Roo began.

"What did you do Roo?" Geoff asked.

"Nothing Father," Roo replied innocently.

"Well then beat it," Geoff barked. "I'm working. Trying to put food on the table. Computers on your desks. Detroit Lions tickets in your wallet."

"Well Dad since you have been so kind to me I wanted to repay your kindness," Roo said. "You bought me that nice computer and all. So I bought you and Mom this." Roo held out a gift certificate for a day in Frankenmuth a little Bavarian theme town about forty-five minutes away. In the certificate Roo had bought them a 25 dollar gift card to Bronner's the world's largest Christmas store. A trip to the Woolen Mill to watch wool being woven into sweaters, a free tasting of cheese from the Cheese Haus, a massage, and a world famous chicken dinner at the Bavarian Inn. Roo had emptied a good part of his life savings but if he didn't get his parents out of the house he wouldn't even need it.

"Gee Roo that's real nice of you," said Geoff. "We'll save it for our anniversary."

"No!" Roo cried. "You see there's a date on it. You have to go tomorrow."

"But I was going to watch college football all day tomorrow," Geoff whined. "Michigan plays the Buckeyes."

"I spent all my money on it though," Roo said. "You have to go. I can't get a refund."

"Well I guess when can go to Frankenmuth tomorrow," Geoff said. "Why don't you come with us."

"The gift certificate is only for two," Roo answered.

"Well I'm sure I can afford another chicken dinner so you can come along too," Geoff said. "We're not going to leave you alone the whole day."

"Please do," Roo cried a little too desperately.

"You all right Roo?" Geoff asked. "You're not going to throw a big party while we're away? I feel like you want us out of the house."

"No Pa. I just want you and Mom to have a nice romantic time alone together," said Roo.

"Well Frankenmuth isn't exactly romantic," Geoff replied. "This isn't like you Roo. This isn't my smart ass son who just the other day told me to go shove a gavel up my rectum because I missed his little league game."

"I'm going to be a better son," Roo said. "This is the first step. You and Ma get a peaceful day away from me, away from Tigger."

"Tigger isn't going to have a party in the house?" Geoff asked. "He's not using the house as a love shack for one of his titty chickies he always has around?"

"No father. I just want you and Ma to know I love you," Roo replied.

As he lay in bed that night he felt a little better because his parents would be out of his way for the day. But he still had to deal with Sveta. Sveta didn't speak English very well which would aid the plan that Roo had brewing.