Many thanks to all of my reviewers! You guys are absitively posilutely
amazing! And, well, here's a new chapter for all of you!
Disclaimer: As I'm sure you all know, I own practically nothing. All to the fantabulous J.K. Rowlings!
Now, read on!
~`~`~`~`~ Chapter 7: Molly, Evie, and Remus ~`~`~`~`~
Hermione passed through the dark and rather dank halls, not caring at all when she knocked things over or even when she woke up the horrible Mrs. Black, making the portrait scream vile curses and terrible threats. She passed by various members of the Order, not even noticing their looks of surprise or their pleasant greetings and kind sympathies. She made her way to the parlor in a frantic beeline, not letting anything keep her from her destination. Not even a locked door.
With a quick and angry incantation, the large door was blasted off its hinges and fell with a hollow thud onto the thin floorboards. Only the shocked expression of Molly Weasley stopped her from further destruction.
"Hermione?" The woman questioned a bit meekly, her exhaustion seeping into her voice.
The young woman looked up to her mother in law, taking in the peaked face and the heavy bags under the eyes. She slumped her shoulders, finally ashamed for her actions. Slowly and sadly she stepped to one of her most favorite people and landed with a shaky sigh beside her on a rather threadbare and stained sofa.
"Molly, I don't think I can do this anymore." Her voice trembled and she gripped the armrests of the chair to stop the frantic quivering of her fingers. "I don't think I can take it anymore."
A soft warm hand gingerly rested on her heaving shoulder. "Can't take what anymore, dear?"
"This." She waved her arm about unwittingly, trying to search for a word that could make sense. "All of this." She turned to face the old woman, hunting in her face for a similar bit of pain and hurt and hopelessness. Yet, though she spent nearly a minute looking, all she could find was a grudging resolve and a tired determination.
"How can you handle it, Molly?" she asked in little more than a whisper. "I don't mean to do or say the things I do, but I can't stop them from coming out. I regret and I hurt and I cry." She laughed bitterly. "Can you believe it, Molly? I cry. And what's worse, I don't know why."
Molly remained still, listening, but not offering any advice just yet. She listened and heard and wanted to cry along with her grieving daughter in law, but managed to stay as strong as possible for, if no one else, Hermione.
"And--and I just want to be able to, I don't know, fall into the ground and let it swallow me up again, you know? Like maybe, if I prayed hard enough, I could just stop. Just let someone else take my place. I just want it to be over with. I don't ever want to feel like this again. Do you understand me, Molly? I want it all to be over."
"I understand you, Hermione," she managed to get out, albeit shakily. "I know what it feels like to want to get into bed and never get out. I know what it feels like to want to just blow everyone off and find some deep dark hole to crawl in. You just can't give into those feelings."
Hermione sighed, feeling the hot pricking of tears at the corners of her eyes. "But--but it's so hard. And with this whole Remus problem I don't know if--"
"Wait. Remus problem?"
She turned to the older woman with an even stronger feeling of melancholy. "Yes. The Remus problem. I'm married to him."
The comforting arm about her shoulder slowly lifted. "Married to him?" The question was unbelieving, angry, and confused. "Married to him?" Now it was hard, demanding, accusing.
"Yes. I had to. I haven't any choice. It's either that or sit and wait for Voldemort to come and pick me up while I sit out in the Muggle world like some little free token or something. I can't let that happen."
Molly turned to her. "But why in heaven's name would you be in the Muggle world?"
"Because of the law. You know the one about Muggleborns who are unmarried or haven't any children being sent back from whence they came," she waved her arms about sarcastically. "I happen to be one of those Muggleborns now, you know. So, it's been sort of arranged for me pretty much. Oh, but I did have my choice." The bitter laugh returned full force. "Oh, yes. Admirable choices, the lot of them. I would either be Mrs. Lupin, Mrs. Longbottom, or Mrs. Snape. I figured that Mrs. Lupin was the most favorable out of all of them. So, congratulate me, Molly. I'm a newlywed!" She broke down into tears; heavy, wracking, heart wrenching sobs.
The comforting arm returned to her, stroking her back comfortingly, accompanied with a few random, 'you poor dear's now and then. But it didn't make her feel any better. And she felt even worse when she heard someone step into the room.
"Auntie?"
The voice was quiet and meek, sounding almost like the human voice of a mouse, yet it broke through the silence like a gunshot. Hermione's head shot up from her hands and her watery eyes focused on a small form near the door.
It was a small child with dirty blond hair that fell about her face in wispy strands, giving her that deceiving angelic look all toddlers manage to pull off so well. She stood daintily on the toes of her brightly colored shoes, barely poking out the bottom of a robe that was a bit on the shabby side and much too large for someone her size. The bright gray eyes and thin pink lips that took up much of her little fairy-like face reminded Hermione vaguely of someone, but she couldn't for the life of her think of whom.
Molly looked up from Hermione. "Oh, Evie, I didn't see you there," she said motherly. "What is it, dear?"
Hermione looked at the child in horror. This was her daughter now; stepdaughter, to be precise, but daughter none the less. This was the little girl that she was expected to take care of, the little girl she was expected to be mother to. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized that the features that had seemed so familiar, in fact belonged to her husband. She stared at the tiny figure of a person, too shocked to even speak.
"Daddy's here. He tol' me to go an' get you."
Molly shot an anxious glance at the still form of Hermione, but Hermione didn't even bat an eyelash at the mention of her husband. She turned back to Evie.
"Good. Would you tell him to come here please?"
The little girl smiled. "Ya-huh." She turned around to obey, when she stopped. "Auntie?" she asked as she turned back around. "Who's the lady there?"
"This--uh, this is,--um, well, she's--" Molly struggled for the right words to explain to the child that this was to be her new Mummy.
"I'm your new mother," Hermione said, her voice emotionless, and her eyes leaked another tear. "I married your daddy."
Evie approached Hermione slowly, looking her over carefully. She stood right in front of her, their noses nearly touching, and continued to look appraisingly at her. Just when Hermione thought the child was going to strike her or say something altogether snippy or cruel, she smiled.
"You look nice." She grabbed a handful of Hermione's tangled and fly away curls in one small and slightly dirty fist. "You have pretty hair."
Hermione had to smile in return, though a little uncertainly.
"That'll do, now, Evie," Molly said, a bit scolding, though very pleased that Evie had the decency to be kind and gently with the grieving woman. "Why don't you go and get your father now. I'm sure he really wants to find your new mummy. All right?"
The child turned to Molly with one of those award-winning smiles all small children possess and scampered out of the room, only tripping over one thing as she went. Molly laughed lightly as she quickly picked herself up, not even crying.
"She takes after her mother in that," she explained. "She's always running into things, but she's not so big yet as it's annoying. She's just cute when she trips; Tonks was a bit of a nuisance as she fell."
Hermione laughed politely and looked down at her shoes. "Molly? Will he be angry with me?"
"Will who be angry with you, dear?"
"Remus."
Molly rubbed her back reassuringly. "Oh, no, dear. He's very understanding of these things, you know. He'll probably just be relieved that you're here and not roaming the streets of London or who knows where unattended and alone."
Just as she finished speaking, another figure ran into the room, though this time it was a lot bigger than Evie, despite their similarities. It was Remus.
"Molly! I must speak with you! I've lost her! I don't know where to look. She could be anywhere. I haven't a--" He finally spotted Hermione and stopped, mid-tirade. He collapsed to his knees in front of her and gathered her into his arms in relief. She stiffened, but did not pull away.
He looked up at her, grabbing her face with his hands. If Hermione didn't know better, she would have thought that he was about to kiss her, but instead he spoke. "Oh, Hermione, we were so worried. I sent Harry of to Hogsmeade and Hannah off to Dumbledore. I came here to speak with Molly and send the Order out to look for you. You gave us quite a scare, disappearing like that."
"I'm all right, Pro--Remus. I'm fine."
He laughed jovially, his eyes sparkling with something akin to that of Dumbledore's eyes. "Yes, I can see that. Why ever did you come here?"
The faint smile that had begun to curve her lips disappeared. "I--I needed to speak to Molly. I had to--think of some things without you and Harry constantly hovering over me."
The sparkle faded. "Ah, yes. I should've suggested it myself. Of course you would need a woman who has experienced simi--well, yes, it makes perfect sense."
He looked about to speak again, but Hermione didn't really want to listen to him babble any longer. "I, uh, I met your daughter."
That stopped him in his tracks all right. He looked at her carefully, as though he wasn't entirely sure what to expect from her. "A--and?" He gulped most unbecomingly and Hermione almost laughed, not spitefully but happily.
"And she's a very sweet girl. And she seems to like me. At least, she likes my hair." And then she did laugh. A high, sweet laugh. The way she used to before her life had been overcome by sorrow. It made both Remus and Molly happy just to see that little bit of their old Hermione coming back to them, if only for a short while.
"Well, that's always good." He stood up nervously and held out his hand to help her up. "I suppose we ought to find Harry and Hannah, then, eh? I'm sure they're absolutely worried sick about you. They'll want to know that you're all right. Come on." He started to lead her to the door, but she stayed where she was. He turned to her questioningly.
"Um, Remus?" She began. "Would it be all right if I stayed here?" He looked at her in surprise. "You know, figure out where I'll be living and all of that." She smiled at him. "And I'd like to speak with your daughter a bit more, if that's all right with you."
He practically beamed at that last bit, and let go of her hand gently. "Yes, yes, of course. You do just that. I'm sure that she'll love it." He turned to go, but stopped suddenly. "But, um, you might want to beware a bit. When you get her started, she'll talk your ear off. One of the things she has in common with her mother."
Hermione grinned slowly. "Along with clumsiness."
Remus returned the grin with an even bigger one. "Exactly." And with that, he left.
She turned to Molly after watching the empty doorway for a moment. "I think I'll go find Evie. But first, could you show me where we are to all live."
Molly took her by the arm lovingly. "Oh, I'm sure that Evie and you would have a much better time doing that without me. Let's go find her."
And, as they left the room, Hermione felt, for the first time in the past few days, that she could truly be happy again. Granted, it would take time, but there was a little girl that would be only to willing to help her see that there was more to life than just mourning and grieving. There was loving, as well.
~`~`~`~`~
And there, for all of you guys, another chapter! Sorry that it took so long, but you all know how busy life can be. Anyways, thanks to everyone and I hope you enjoyed it. Please review!
Disclaimer: As I'm sure you all know, I own practically nothing. All to the fantabulous J.K. Rowlings!
Now, read on!
~`~`~`~`~ Chapter 7: Molly, Evie, and Remus ~`~`~`~`~
Hermione passed through the dark and rather dank halls, not caring at all when she knocked things over or even when she woke up the horrible Mrs. Black, making the portrait scream vile curses and terrible threats. She passed by various members of the Order, not even noticing their looks of surprise or their pleasant greetings and kind sympathies. She made her way to the parlor in a frantic beeline, not letting anything keep her from her destination. Not even a locked door.
With a quick and angry incantation, the large door was blasted off its hinges and fell with a hollow thud onto the thin floorboards. Only the shocked expression of Molly Weasley stopped her from further destruction.
"Hermione?" The woman questioned a bit meekly, her exhaustion seeping into her voice.
The young woman looked up to her mother in law, taking in the peaked face and the heavy bags under the eyes. She slumped her shoulders, finally ashamed for her actions. Slowly and sadly she stepped to one of her most favorite people and landed with a shaky sigh beside her on a rather threadbare and stained sofa.
"Molly, I don't think I can do this anymore." Her voice trembled and she gripped the armrests of the chair to stop the frantic quivering of her fingers. "I don't think I can take it anymore."
A soft warm hand gingerly rested on her heaving shoulder. "Can't take what anymore, dear?"
"This." She waved her arm about unwittingly, trying to search for a word that could make sense. "All of this." She turned to face the old woman, hunting in her face for a similar bit of pain and hurt and hopelessness. Yet, though she spent nearly a minute looking, all she could find was a grudging resolve and a tired determination.
"How can you handle it, Molly?" she asked in little more than a whisper. "I don't mean to do or say the things I do, but I can't stop them from coming out. I regret and I hurt and I cry." She laughed bitterly. "Can you believe it, Molly? I cry. And what's worse, I don't know why."
Molly remained still, listening, but not offering any advice just yet. She listened and heard and wanted to cry along with her grieving daughter in law, but managed to stay as strong as possible for, if no one else, Hermione.
"And--and I just want to be able to, I don't know, fall into the ground and let it swallow me up again, you know? Like maybe, if I prayed hard enough, I could just stop. Just let someone else take my place. I just want it to be over with. I don't ever want to feel like this again. Do you understand me, Molly? I want it all to be over."
"I understand you, Hermione," she managed to get out, albeit shakily. "I know what it feels like to want to get into bed and never get out. I know what it feels like to want to just blow everyone off and find some deep dark hole to crawl in. You just can't give into those feelings."
Hermione sighed, feeling the hot pricking of tears at the corners of her eyes. "But--but it's so hard. And with this whole Remus problem I don't know if--"
"Wait. Remus problem?"
She turned to the older woman with an even stronger feeling of melancholy. "Yes. The Remus problem. I'm married to him."
The comforting arm about her shoulder slowly lifted. "Married to him?" The question was unbelieving, angry, and confused. "Married to him?" Now it was hard, demanding, accusing.
"Yes. I had to. I haven't any choice. It's either that or sit and wait for Voldemort to come and pick me up while I sit out in the Muggle world like some little free token or something. I can't let that happen."
Molly turned to her. "But why in heaven's name would you be in the Muggle world?"
"Because of the law. You know the one about Muggleborns who are unmarried or haven't any children being sent back from whence they came," she waved her arms about sarcastically. "I happen to be one of those Muggleborns now, you know. So, it's been sort of arranged for me pretty much. Oh, but I did have my choice." The bitter laugh returned full force. "Oh, yes. Admirable choices, the lot of them. I would either be Mrs. Lupin, Mrs. Longbottom, or Mrs. Snape. I figured that Mrs. Lupin was the most favorable out of all of them. So, congratulate me, Molly. I'm a newlywed!" She broke down into tears; heavy, wracking, heart wrenching sobs.
The comforting arm returned to her, stroking her back comfortingly, accompanied with a few random, 'you poor dear's now and then. But it didn't make her feel any better. And she felt even worse when she heard someone step into the room.
"Auntie?"
The voice was quiet and meek, sounding almost like the human voice of a mouse, yet it broke through the silence like a gunshot. Hermione's head shot up from her hands and her watery eyes focused on a small form near the door.
It was a small child with dirty blond hair that fell about her face in wispy strands, giving her that deceiving angelic look all toddlers manage to pull off so well. She stood daintily on the toes of her brightly colored shoes, barely poking out the bottom of a robe that was a bit on the shabby side and much too large for someone her size. The bright gray eyes and thin pink lips that took up much of her little fairy-like face reminded Hermione vaguely of someone, but she couldn't for the life of her think of whom.
Molly looked up from Hermione. "Oh, Evie, I didn't see you there," she said motherly. "What is it, dear?"
Hermione looked at the child in horror. This was her daughter now; stepdaughter, to be precise, but daughter none the less. This was the little girl that she was expected to take care of, the little girl she was expected to be mother to. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized that the features that had seemed so familiar, in fact belonged to her husband. She stared at the tiny figure of a person, too shocked to even speak.
"Daddy's here. He tol' me to go an' get you."
Molly shot an anxious glance at the still form of Hermione, but Hermione didn't even bat an eyelash at the mention of her husband. She turned back to Evie.
"Good. Would you tell him to come here please?"
The little girl smiled. "Ya-huh." She turned around to obey, when she stopped. "Auntie?" she asked as she turned back around. "Who's the lady there?"
"This--uh, this is,--um, well, she's--" Molly struggled for the right words to explain to the child that this was to be her new Mummy.
"I'm your new mother," Hermione said, her voice emotionless, and her eyes leaked another tear. "I married your daddy."
Evie approached Hermione slowly, looking her over carefully. She stood right in front of her, their noses nearly touching, and continued to look appraisingly at her. Just when Hermione thought the child was going to strike her or say something altogether snippy or cruel, she smiled.
"You look nice." She grabbed a handful of Hermione's tangled and fly away curls in one small and slightly dirty fist. "You have pretty hair."
Hermione had to smile in return, though a little uncertainly.
"That'll do, now, Evie," Molly said, a bit scolding, though very pleased that Evie had the decency to be kind and gently with the grieving woman. "Why don't you go and get your father now. I'm sure he really wants to find your new mummy. All right?"
The child turned to Molly with one of those award-winning smiles all small children possess and scampered out of the room, only tripping over one thing as she went. Molly laughed lightly as she quickly picked herself up, not even crying.
"She takes after her mother in that," she explained. "She's always running into things, but she's not so big yet as it's annoying. She's just cute when she trips; Tonks was a bit of a nuisance as she fell."
Hermione laughed politely and looked down at her shoes. "Molly? Will he be angry with me?"
"Will who be angry with you, dear?"
"Remus."
Molly rubbed her back reassuringly. "Oh, no, dear. He's very understanding of these things, you know. He'll probably just be relieved that you're here and not roaming the streets of London or who knows where unattended and alone."
Just as she finished speaking, another figure ran into the room, though this time it was a lot bigger than Evie, despite their similarities. It was Remus.
"Molly! I must speak with you! I've lost her! I don't know where to look. She could be anywhere. I haven't a--" He finally spotted Hermione and stopped, mid-tirade. He collapsed to his knees in front of her and gathered her into his arms in relief. She stiffened, but did not pull away.
He looked up at her, grabbing her face with his hands. If Hermione didn't know better, she would have thought that he was about to kiss her, but instead he spoke. "Oh, Hermione, we were so worried. I sent Harry of to Hogsmeade and Hannah off to Dumbledore. I came here to speak with Molly and send the Order out to look for you. You gave us quite a scare, disappearing like that."
"I'm all right, Pro--Remus. I'm fine."
He laughed jovially, his eyes sparkling with something akin to that of Dumbledore's eyes. "Yes, I can see that. Why ever did you come here?"
The faint smile that had begun to curve her lips disappeared. "I--I needed to speak to Molly. I had to--think of some things without you and Harry constantly hovering over me."
The sparkle faded. "Ah, yes. I should've suggested it myself. Of course you would need a woman who has experienced simi--well, yes, it makes perfect sense."
He looked about to speak again, but Hermione didn't really want to listen to him babble any longer. "I, uh, I met your daughter."
That stopped him in his tracks all right. He looked at her carefully, as though he wasn't entirely sure what to expect from her. "A--and?" He gulped most unbecomingly and Hermione almost laughed, not spitefully but happily.
"And she's a very sweet girl. And she seems to like me. At least, she likes my hair." And then she did laugh. A high, sweet laugh. The way she used to before her life had been overcome by sorrow. It made both Remus and Molly happy just to see that little bit of their old Hermione coming back to them, if only for a short while.
"Well, that's always good." He stood up nervously and held out his hand to help her up. "I suppose we ought to find Harry and Hannah, then, eh? I'm sure they're absolutely worried sick about you. They'll want to know that you're all right. Come on." He started to lead her to the door, but she stayed where she was. He turned to her questioningly.
"Um, Remus?" She began. "Would it be all right if I stayed here?" He looked at her in surprise. "You know, figure out where I'll be living and all of that." She smiled at him. "And I'd like to speak with your daughter a bit more, if that's all right with you."
He practically beamed at that last bit, and let go of her hand gently. "Yes, yes, of course. You do just that. I'm sure that she'll love it." He turned to go, but stopped suddenly. "But, um, you might want to beware a bit. When you get her started, she'll talk your ear off. One of the things she has in common with her mother."
Hermione grinned slowly. "Along with clumsiness."
Remus returned the grin with an even bigger one. "Exactly." And with that, he left.
She turned to Molly after watching the empty doorway for a moment. "I think I'll go find Evie. But first, could you show me where we are to all live."
Molly took her by the arm lovingly. "Oh, I'm sure that Evie and you would have a much better time doing that without me. Let's go find her."
And, as they left the room, Hermione felt, for the first time in the past few days, that she could truly be happy again. Granted, it would take time, but there was a little girl that would be only to willing to help her see that there was more to life than just mourning and grieving. There was loving, as well.
~`~`~`~`~
And there, for all of you guys, another chapter! Sorry that it took so long, but you all know how busy life can be. Anyways, thanks to everyone and I hope you enjoyed it. Please review!