Triogy of Error
Someone who works the women's unmentionables at Macy's (Not in any way associated with Vergil shifty look) what?
7.00 am Virgil's Day
DRING! Vergil's alarm clock sounded like a megaphone in the ear. Vergil groaned, he groped the bedside table, and then suddenly the clock was sliced cleanly in half. Vergil had re-sheathed Yamato "Dirty Bastard" he mumbled "that piece of SHIT! wakes me up every day. Well. Vergil: 1, Alarm clock: 1000. Clock you have just been Vergil-ised."
Vergil shuffled into kitchen. For some reason he passed a pyramid of beer cans and an Eiffel tower of beer bottles. Lady was sitting at the breakfast table eating scrambled eggs "You feel like shit too huh?" she mumbled. Vergil grunted in the affirmative. "Still, its better than Dante," She said taking a gulp of orange juice
"Where is Dante anyway" inquired Vergil "There's still pizza in the fridge."
"Oh yeah, he was arrested for shoplifting man bras… again. The door was locked so they put him on the door step he had a note on his coat saying: 'Dante Sparda you have to be in court next Tuesday and are charged with indecent exposure and shoplifting!'"
Sure enough when Vergil looked out the window Dante was lying there mumbling "Pepperoni, mozzarella, peppers I hit the jackpot!" in his sleep.
It seemed like a drinking contest on a Sunday night wasn't a good idea!
"NO MORE PIZZA!" Dante's voice was better than any megaphone
"Well he's awake." Said Vergil
"Mm-Hmm" said lady who took her fingers out of her ears
Vergil finished his anti hangover medicine: a cup of coffee mixed with a couple dozen co-codamols (head-ache tablets.)
"Well, I'm off." Said Vergil
"You may want to stand away from the door for about 4 seconds." Said lady, watching Dante running back and forth outside.
Vergil was waiting at the bus stop when an ambulance drove past heading for Devil May Cry. Vergil smiled. He knew Dante would have noticed the empty pizzas and would have probably have his weekly heart attack John and Gary would probably be driving the ambulance. Shaun and Brendan only work weekends ( This has been happening since the day Dante turned 18. you'd think he'd have copped on by now but he can't remember what happened six hours previously.)
Weekdays are always the same for Vergil, while on the bus he'd put on a baseball cap and sunglasses and sneak into Macys and into the unmentionables counter and take the hat and glasses off and act as though he's always there.
Vergil was working there for over 4 years and he seen some pretty weird things in his day. He'd seen 3 out of the 7 hells come in for some "Items" he also seen Lucia, Trish and a suspected Jester and his mother.
Vergil was daydreaming before he realised some old Granny wanted something
"Excuse me miss?" she said
"I'm a man." Said an irritated Vergil. This had happened six times on Friday.
"Whatever, anyway you stupid girl I wish to buy this!" She said
"I'M A MAN YOU STUPID OLD B-" he broke off for he just got bitchslapped in the face. This is the final straw for Vergil for he kicked the old bat in the shins and she fell on her knees but she pulled out a tazer and shocked Vergil in a very painful area below the belt. Vergil blacked out.
He opened his eyes to discover that someone was a few centimetres away from his face. He screamed. The person pulled their head away, it was Dante he was laughing uncontrollably. Vergil noticed they were in a hospital. His crotch hurt like hell. Vergil knew that feeling, that granny comes to the shop every Monday.