Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh
Key
thinking-
/song lyrics/
emphasis
/x: some one singing/
Bxxxx Censored word
two or more Japanese people speaking to each other in Japanese, when not already in Japanese
Yugi walked sheepishly into Ms. MnM's room, inching his way in slowly. He had never had a detention before, and he was more than a little nervous. Joey had said that it was torturous, and that if a kid was sent to enough detentions the teachers would feed the kids to a giant monster and they would never be seeing again. But surely little Johnny B's fate wouldn't befall him. Right. Right? He didn't know. Yugi looked around to make double sure there was no such beasts, then quickly dashed right into something big. The thing moved, and stirred, and a little slobber came from it's mouth.
"AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, please don't eat me!" Yugi wailed. Then Yami took over.
"DIE SCOURGE OF THE NEVERWORLD!" Yami screamed, unable to think clearly, what with Yugi running around in spirit form flailing his arms around wildly.
"Its come to suck our blood, and eat our bananas!" Yugi screamed running around. Then Yami remembered about the millennium puzzle.
"Mind Crush!" He shouted bashing the figure over the head with the millennium puzzle. The figure groaned and rolled over its side it golden fur parted apart to reveal a large lump, with x's in the beast eyes. Finally the figure sat up and revealed itself.
"Yug' what was that fo' one minute I was jus' sittin' there droolin' over the new vidya I got, if ya know what I mean, and next thing I know your beatin' me on the head with the millennium puzzle." Joey said rubbing his head.
"Oops sorry Joey." Yugi said sheepishly, taking back over from Yami.
"Ya know what I jus' realized, the spirit a the puzzle shares ya' body." Joey said dumbly.
"Yeah, so?" Yugi said, sitting up.
"Well, can the pharaoh, or Yami, or whateva' it is you call em', can he like appear in like a ghost or spirit form next to ya, I mean that's the only way I can think a that would let him know when stuff is happenin' ya know?" Joey said, his brow furrowed in deep concentration.
"Yea, and?" Yugi said, not quite getting what his friend was going with his statement.
"Well if I walk through 'im does that mean, does that mean we did it?" (1) Joey said giving Yugi a weird look. "'Cuz if it does I don't want ta walk through..." Joey started before Yugi cut him off.
"No Joey, it doesn't mean that at all, geesh I think you lost a brain cell back there when Yami hit you." Yugi said rolling his eyes, if it wasn't on food, or saving the world, then Joey's mind was in the gutter.
"Awww, that must mean his other one is lonely." Kaiba said, his infamous smirk placed on his face.
"Which other one are ya talkin' about Kaiba." Joey said dumbly, placing a finger to his mouth, that joke had went completely over his head.
"That's exactly what I expected a dog like you to say Wheeler." Kaiba answered haughtily, before going into the classroom.
"Err Kaiba come ova here an say dat!" Joey ground out.
"Just let it go Joey he's not worth it." Yugi said smiling at his friend.
'I guess ya right Yug' he's ain't worth it, now let's get dis ova wit" Joey said marching into the classroom.
The detention itself was uneventful. Meretrix meretricis ( 2 ) sensei just filed her nails, hiding something, and smiled a secret smile to herself. Yugi did some work, Joey read a book, well actually it was one of his dirty magazines, and Kaiba had some book, once again with the book cover pulled off so no one knew exactly what he was reading. The bell rang and the teacher stood up.
"Well boys, looks like school is officially over for you three, and me as well, after all I'm retired." She said walking over to the door, and locking it.
"So in honor of this I decided to have three helpings of beefcake." She said smirking. Joey got what she was inferring to immediately, what with his mind in the gutter and all.
"U-uh n-no t-thanks." Joey said getting up and backing up toward a wall.
"What the hxxx are you babbling about Wheeler, it's just some stupid...Oh Cxxx!" Kaiba said suddenly getting it, he may not of had a dirty mind, well not that dirty considering he was a guy, but he was smart enough to know what was going on.
"Umm guys, what's going...on...ummm..." Yugi said purple orbs widening as he suddenly realized, after all he had seen Joey's movies enough times to know that this was how some of them started.
Meanwhile, Alabaster, Dre, and Bitsy were waiting outside the school along with Tea, who had once again found herself running from Z, finally having her irrefutable proof that Z must worship evil. She clutched the Metallica album she had swiped from his room.
"Man, what is takin' them so long." Dre said sitting down on the bench.
"Well it is detention who knows how long those things last, I mean couldn't they be stuck in there for ever, like little Johnny B..." Bitsy said nervously biting her lips.
"I'll go get them, you guys wait here." Tea said running into the large school, and heading the wrong direction.
"Now come here, you hotties you." She said rushing towards them.
"But your, your a teacher!" Yugi exclaimed dodging her.
"Not anymore." She said reaching for Kaiba who toppled back over the desk.
"C'mon man we hafta get outta here, where's the key!" Joey yelled frantically, as she dove at him.
Kaiba rummaged through her drawers and grabbed a key, but before he could run over to the door and use it, he slammed against the wall and handcuffed. She snatched the keys from his hands and smirked.
"Well that's one down." She said turning back to Yugi...and where was Joey. Joey snatched the key from her hand, but in all his hastiness, left one key on the ring.
"C'mon Yug' let's get outta here!" He shouted grabbing Yugi and running towards the door. The teacher dived after them.
"Wait Yugi, Wheeler, get the other key first!" Kaiba shouted pulling on the handcuffs. But Joey, carrying Yugi like a briefcase, dashed out of the room, leaving Kaiba behind.
"Well at least I still have one of you, you know I always loved a man in uniform, even it was a school uniform." She said turning on him. Kaiba's eyes widened and he placed his foot on the wall and began tugging like a maniac on the wall. Ms. MnM smirked and walked over him and in one quick motion, unbuttoned his jacket. Kaiba looked down, none of the buttons were popped.
"Wow, your really good at that." Kaiba said calmly.
"I know, I mean like oh my gosh, you wouldn't believe how much practice that took." She said bobbing her head up and down.
"I can imagine, I mean not one button's popped or anything." Kaiba said looking down at his jacket.
"Yeah I know, it's all in the wrist really." She said matter of factually.
"Really, hey I should write this down, you got a piece of notebook paper and a pen?" Kaiba asked.
"Oh yeah, here." She said handing it to him. He quickly wrote down the notes.
"Hey can you put this over on my desk I would but..." Kaiba said gesturing to the handcuff.
"Oh yeah, sure sure." She said taking the note and putting it one his desk. "Now where were we?" She asked. Kaiba gulped and started pulling on the handcuffs again.
Meanwhile Tea skidded to a stop when she saw Joey and Yugi running toward them.
"Oh there you guys are, looks like you guys are safe." She said running up to them. "Joey why are you carrying Yugi like that?" She asked pointing to Yugi. Yugi quickly told her the whole story. Tea's eyes widened and she took of running, this really wasn't her day. When she got there she saw the Ms. MnM kissing Kaiba, her hand messing up his hair.
As much as I hate hitting old ladies...- Kaiba thought raising his fist in the hair when all of sudden a flash of blue connected with the old woman's head, causing her to the fall to the side. He looked at Tea who was holding a globe in her hand. The teacher scowled then stood up. Joey sneaked over to the cd player and plopped in a cd.
/CD Player: Mortal Combat!/ The Cd player shouted. Then Ms. MnM lunged at Tea, kicking the globe from her hand. Tea back flipped dodging another kick, then leaped in the air and kicked at her face, but Ms. MnM sidestepped out of the way and kicked Tea in the back. She raised her foot to stomp her again, but Tea caught and threw up in the air causing Ms. MnM to stumble. The two continued fighting, doing karate moves the like of which no one of the males present had ever seen. It finally came to a stand still with both of them glaring at each other from the other's side of the room, both holding yard sticks in their hand, yes it had come to yard sticks. They launched toward each other each making a swipe at the other so fast no one knew what had happened, they both stood with one knee bent, and one leg back, holding the yardstick sideways, their backs facing each other. After a moment Ms. MnM fell down and Tea stood up.
"That's for messing with friendship Bxxxx." Tea said tossing the yard stick to the side. Kaiba opened his mouth to stay something, when Tea glared at him. "You got something to say about friendship, ho." Tea said walking towards him. Kaiba closed his mouth and shook his head, she grabbed his hand and yanked hard, and the handcuff broke from the wall. She spun around towards Yugi.
"And you, why aren't you wearing your thong, And for goodness sakes pull those pants up!" She shouted at Yugi, who quickly pulled his baggy pants up.
"And You, pull those pants down, you know they don't go up that high!" Tea shouted, Joey quickly complied pushing his pants down to his waist, instead of his chest.
"And for goodness sakes can't one of you talk to Z, here's the proof he's evil right here!" She shouted tossing the Metallica cover on the ground.
"Hey this one's hard to find." Kaiba said picking it up.
"What did you say?" Tea growled. Kaiba's eyes widened, suddenly remembering the way she had disposed of Meretrix meretricis sensei.
"I said that I'll talk to this Z person for you." Kaiba said hiding the cd behind his back.
"That's what I thought, now get your Axxxs in gear." Tea shouted pointing to the door. They slowly gathered their discarded things.
"I said get in gear Bxxxxx." Tea shouted! They quickly gathered their things and rushed out of the classroom.
"Yeah, I'll do it this time, but won't no cheerleader going to tell me what to do." Kaiba mumbled incoherently under his breath.
"What was that!" She shouted, glaring at him.
"Nothing." Kaiba shouted leaving the room, Tea followed him slamming the door behind them.
Meanwhile Yami Bakura had had about all he could take. Jeff was singing incessantly with his girlfriend, with her high ponytail, and poodle skirt, and button up top the pair looked like they had just stepped out of the 1950s.
"Yeah well like I was telling my buddy Bakura here, life's a stage, and we're all players on it, of course us glee club members job is to add a little music to our lives." Jeff said happily.
"Gee whiz Jeffrey you sure know how to talk romantically, I think we're finally ready for first base." She said blushing.
"Gee golly whilkers you mean it, Suzy, gee that would be swell." Jeff said blushing, and then of instead of kissing, they grabbed each others hands, and giggled like crazy.
"All this action is making me giddy, Jeffrey can you get me some water." Suzy said giggling.
"Sure thing, now don't go holding your hand without me." Jeff said winking at her, then walking off.
Yami Bakura took over from Bakura. He'd had about all he could take.
"I guess I should congratulate you." Yami Bakura said smoothly.
"Oh there's no need to that, Me and Jeffrey have been dating for months now." She said smiling.
"Oh but I think there is." Yami Bakura said the millennium ring glowing.
"Hey why is your weird necklace glowing." She said pointing toward him.
"Here let me show you." Yami Bakura said standing up.
"Jeffrey..." Suzy said backing up. Then Yami Bakura sent her to the shadow realm.
"That shut he up." Yami Bakura mumbled before letting his light take over.
"Oh my goodness, Susan are you all right?" Bakura said running over to her. Jeffrey came running too.
"Oh my gosh Susan!" Jeffrey shouted, a crown encircling the group.
Elsewhere Tristan and Sarah where watching a bunch of rich people file into the door of an expensive restaurant. A bunch of people who were also wearing Jade Calm t-shirts ran over to her.
The were holding large cans, and their faces were set seriously. Wordlessly everyone grabbed a can and opened it up, they were on a mission here. A sleek black limo pulled up and people started filing out of it, all wearing fur coats.
"This is the blood of the animal you killed." Sarah shouted, throwing the red paint at the people.
"Murderer!" Someone else shouted more paint flying through the air. Tristan's eyes widened in shock. As similar insults and more red paint was flung through the air. It wasn't long before they heard police sirens wailing.
"Ok everyone, dead weight!" The leader shouted, then everyone just collapsed to the ground. Tristan looked at all the bodies around him, and took off running, grabbing Sarah's hand.
"What do you think your doing!" She shouted once they were in the alley.
"Not getting deported." Tristan shouted back.
"Fine then you stay here, I'm off to go get arrested for my ideals." She said nobly, before running off back in the direction they had come from. Tristan shrugged and went into a store.
"I'm not wearing this." He heard Duke's voice say. He rounded the corner and saw Ray Ray sitting on a chair directly across from some dressing rooms. He shook his head, when he saw a pretty girl next to him.
"I know its a shame about that pony-tailed one." She said shaking her head. "A real blow to woman kind."
"Yeah, but you know I'm free." Tristan said grinning toothily. She looked at him.
"I see, well bye." She said shrugging and walking off. Tristan hung his head and walked off.
Meanwhile Z was sitting on a stone step, watching one of his friends do a trick on their skateboard. He grabbed his own and started doing tricks of his own. Tea came running over to him, after the little episode at the school.
"Hey." He said nodding towards her.
"I know your secret, and its' not going to work." She said narrowing here yes.
"Okay...whatever I'm going to go skating right now so do what you want, but we have someplace to be tomorrow and your going too, so keep that in mind." He said before going off to skate some more.
What could that mean...- She wondered to herself, plopping down on the steps.
(1) This Joke comes from Family Guy, which I don't own, but I tweaked the joke to fit the story. Only the part about walking through ghost thought the little Johhny B joke and the monster joke is mine.
(2) Meretrix meretricis means whore in latin