Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh
Key
-thinking-
emphasis
Bxxxx Censored word
two or more Japanese people speaking to each other in Japanese, when not already in Japanese
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mokuba ran as fast as he could, but he hadn't calculated one thing, how fast Joey was when he was hungry, within seconds Joey had caught up with Mokuba and picked him by his collar, freeing his glorious ham, cheese, pickle, macaroon, macaroni, and mushroom sandwich. Tossing Mokuba aside he devoured the whole thing in one bite. Kaiba narrowed his eyes. -No one throws my brother, even if he is being a little monster!-
"Wheeler, I got a bone to pick with you." Kaiba said, his trench coat flapping in the wind, when Tristan accidentally knocked him over, completely ruining his bad boy moment.
"What, we're not running anymore?" Tristan said sitting up.
"Gmmph offhmh mmphm" Kaiba muttered.
"What?" Tristan said, when he suddenly realized who he was sitting on, and who's face exactly was smashed into the ground. Kaiba pushed up on the ground, knocking Tristan off him. Duke watched the scene, and backed up.
"I said, get off me, moron." Kaiba snapped dusting himself off. -Why does everyone keep ruining my moments.-
Duke stopped and watched the scene as Kaiba resumed his stance, Joey lunged at him, and Tristan held him back, then Kaiba and Mokuba walked off, smug smirks affixed to their faces, and Joey glaring daggers at him, and shouting obscenities at the top of his lungs. Kaiba pushed past Duke and walked off.
"Jerk." Duke mumbled knowing full well he'd never have the courage to say it to his face. He started walking back when saw Kaiba stoop down and Mokuba climb on his back, holding a ice cream cone, and cheering loudly. "He's doing that on purpose, I don't buy that whole little act at all, he's no bad boy with a heart of gold deep, deep down inside, he just likes messing with people, and Mokuba is nothing but an obligation, but nooo, he's got everyone fooled, everyone, even...Ray Ray." Duke thought to himself out loud, when suddenly he got an idea. He dashed fast over to Ray Ray.
"I knew you'd come running to me someday." Ray Ray laughed winking. Duke shuddered and cleared his throat.
"Actually, I'm straight, but since I am Dr. Love, and I am, so kind, and generous, I've decided to help you out. Look over there." Duke said pointing to Kaiba who Tiny had hoisted onto his back, with Mokuba still clinging to Kaiba for dear life as they were bounced around, Kaiba most definitely not amused.
"Who Tiny?"
"No, Kaiba."
"..., Kaiba eh? Hmmm..." Ray Ray muttered as he turned his attention away from Duke. Duke jumped for joy, finally Ray Ray would leave him alone, he could go back to flirting with girls. Kaiba fell off Ray Ray and into a pile of mud.
"HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA, Seto fell in the mu-ud, Seto fell in the mu-ud!" Mokuba giggled pointing to Kaiba, laughing and proclaiming it to the world. Ray Ray ran over to Kaiba with a towel.
"Here let me help you." Ray Ray said, Kaiba snatched the towel away from him and wiped the mud out of his face, he looked up and saw Ray Ray staring at him. Growling, Kaiba stood up, grabbed Mokuba and stormed off, Ray Ray following him, everywhere. Kaiba walked over to Tea and wordlessly dragged her off away from everyone, Ray Ray following them.
"Look, It's come to my attention, that you two have developed certain feelings for me, and while I understand that I am a sexy bxxxx, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you both to cease and desist." Kaiba said clearing his throat.
"WHAT THE H..." Tea shouted before Kaiba clamped a hand over her mouth.
"I know, I know, It's hard, but you have to pull yourself together, while I appreciate your adulation, I assure you that it's not returned, and therefore unwarranted and unreasonable."
"Why you..." Tea began before Kaiba cut her off again.
"Why do I reject you? Well, first of Gardner, Alazae, I'm attracted to women. Sexy women. With brains, who don't babble incessantly about, friendship, and neither of you fit that bill." Kaiba said shaking his head as if it was a tragedy. Ray Ray shrugged and walked off.
"Whatever." He said taking his spot next to Duke.
"What happened?" Duke asked amazed Kaiba had him off his back so quickly.
"He's straight, what can you do?" Ray Ray said putting on a pair of sunglasses and leaning back.
"But I've told you the same a million times." Duke said waving his arms around in disbelief.
"But your lying." Ray Ray said simply, causing Duke to see red, he's was on the verge of snapping. Speaking of snapping, Tea was about ready to snap again.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T FIT THAT BILL, I'M AM TOO SEXY, I DO HAVE BRAINS, AND I DON'T BABBLE ABOUT FRIENDSHIP ALL THE TIME!" she shouted.
"No your not, no you don't, and yes, yes you do." Kaiba said, "And F.Y.I your not that great a kisser either, I wasn't going to say anything but..." Kaiba grunted as he fell to the ground, once again being punched out by Tea. Who stormed off angrily. -The nerve of that guy!- Tea thought angrily. -Oh well, Yugi will make it better.- She thought, then she saw Yugi once again flirting with Shavonda.
"Oh well, more potato salad little Yugi." Tea asked covering her hand puppet of little Yugi and potato salad.
"Tea, what are you doing?" Mokuba asked sitting next to her.
"Feeding my bestest, bestest, BESTEST friend in the whole wide world." Tea replied, eye twitching violently. Mokuba looked at her hand, which had a little picture of Yugi drawn on it. He arched and eyebrow.
"WHY?"
"Because he'll never leave like Yugizzle did, we'll best friends forever and ever." Tea chanted her eyes creepily widening.
"WHY?"
"Because I don't intend on letting him go, ever. I'll lock him up in a cage if he decides to be a bad little Yugi."
"WHAT?"
"Forever and ever!"
"Tea your starting to freak me out." Mokuba said backing away as Tea faced her hand, petting it.
"Don't ever leave me, cause I'll hunt you down." She cooed in a baby voice, before letting out and evil laugh that would have easily sent Marik, Pegasus, Dartz, and Kaiba running for the hills. Mokuba took off running into Joey, Z, and Alabaster's tent.
"Hey little man, what's up?" Z said turning around.
"I think Tea has gone crazy!" Mokuba shouted.
"Naw, she's just suffering from friendship withdrawals." Alabaster said.
"FRIEN'SHIP WITHDRAWALS BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Joey laughed, before taking out his inhaler, which he didn't need, and using it, backwards.
"Say little man, want a earring?" Z said taking out a needle and lighter and burning it. Mokuba shrugged. "Ok, now all we need is some ice, and a towel." Z began looking around for the items before Tiny and Bitsy bust into the tent, followed by everyone at the picnic, except Tea. Bitsy was panicking, and Tiny was carrying an unconscious Kaiba.
"Moki Woki poo, it's awful, SETI-WETI FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE, and I wasn't there, and he had an accident, and he gave himself a black eye!" Bitsy said waving her arms around wildly.
"Everyone out the way." Z said walking over to him.
"What's going on?" Tea asked.
"Somebody beat the living daylights out of Kaiba." Z said removing Kaiba's trench coat and checking Kaiba's pulse.
"Oh...oh..no." Tea said, her acting skills horrible. "Who would do such a thing." She said slowly backing out of the tent, her eyes darting back and forth wildly.
"He's got a pulse, but he's not breathing, somebody needs to perform CPR on him!" Z said.
"Joey weren't you a life guard?" Tristan asked eating some more meat. Everyone stared at him.
"NO WAY, NO, I A'INT DOIN' DAT, I DUN EVEN LIKE THE GUY!" Joey shouted.
"Please Joey, please save my big brother!" Mokuba pleaded.
"NUH UN!" Joey shouted murderously.
"Please." Mokuba whispered, giving Joey the puppy dog eyes.
"No." Joey said shaking his head. Mokuba lips quivered. "No." Joey said quietly. Mokuba let one little tear spill, stepping up the cute factor. "Dang it, all right." Joey said not knowing that Z had already performed CPR.
"I..." Z began before Joey pushed him out of the way. Joey leaned down to perform CPR and blew air into Kaiba, compressing his chest he leaned down to do it again, when Kaiba's eyes fluttered open, Joey missed it however and performed more CPR, Kaiba pushed him off him and let out a blood curdling shriek.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kaiba screamed running around wildly. Kaiba grabbed the lysterine that Alabaster had brought and poured into his mouth, gargling and spitting out until the whole bottle was gone. Tears streaming down his eyes he screamed more, you would of thought someone was murdering him. Kaiba closed his eyes running around wildly, and ran straight into a pool, knocking himself out again, a skinny red mark on his face.
"Geez, I was jus' tryin to save his life." Joey said gargling with lysol (a/n: I don't own lysol) like the idiot he was, completely ignoring the warning labels. Z sighed.
"At least he's breathing this time." Z said, Bitsy ran over to him.
"I didn't realize how helpless he was, I mean look he even had an accident." She said turning him over, the brown mud stain still on his pants. Mokuba opened his mouth to say something, then stopped and grinned evilly. Bitsy frowned, then changed Kaiba into a giant diaper, a bib, booties and a bonnet, then stuck a pacifier in his mouth. Kaiba groaned and opened his eyes and saw Bitsy staring at him eyes full of worry, for some reason though he was cold. He looked down at himself. -bare chest, bib, giant diaper, booties...GIANT DIAPER, BIB, BOOTIES!- He touched the thing, and saw it was indeed real, he looked up and saw everyone laughing hysterically over in a corner. He opened his mouth to say something, and a pacifier fell out it. His eyes widened.
"Seti-Weti, are you okay, umm, how many fingers am I holding up." She said holding up one finger since she figured that was all he could count too.
"I'll kill you."
"Not, I'll kill you, one, umm try...Seti Weti, why are you looking at me like that?" She asked.
Sarah sighed exhausted when she got home, she saw Tristan passed out, a strip of bacon hanging from his mouth. She narrowed her eyes and threw it away.
"Don't think you've gotten away that easily maggot." She hissed, grabbing the remote from his hands. "Tomorrow, you will pay." She said flicking it on. She turned it on the television.
"Now Its time for an eye witness news break, I'm your host Anna Fofanna." The tv anchorwoman said. "Our top story tonight, C.E.O and president of Kaibacorp was seen today chasing a young woman who has been identified as Elizabeth Black down main street. He was clad in a giant baby diaper, a bonnet, a bib, and booties, and if you look here, you'll see a pacifier clearly dangling on a string around his neck. We'll have more on that story at eleven, including interviews from fellow picnickers Joey Wheeler and Tea Gardner, and a debate as to exactly why he was released from prison, from our panel of experts, roll clip." The anchor woman said. They clip rolled and two old guys in suits appeared.
"The man clearly paid off the cops, I mean, c'mon attempted murder, indecent exposure." The fat one said.
"Indecent exposure? The guy was clearly dressed, and c'mon the cops obviously felt bad for the guy, I mean c'mon look how pathetic he is, you know he hasn't one a tournament since Yugi Moto entered the scene? And he was at the picnic." The guy with the bad hair piece said.
"Look, the two have spent considerable amount of time around each other in the past, they go to the same school, yet that has never prompted him to run around in a diaper before, he was obviously acting out some weird...thing, and the girl obviously wasn't having it, probably threatened to tell, and he, uh, he tried to kill her, which is why I stand by indecent exposure claim." The fat one said.
"He had on clothes." Hair piece guy said.
"Do you want to see Seto Kaiba in a diaper?" Fat guy asked.
'That I don't Kronkoff, that I surely don't." Hair piece guy said. Then they both laughed. The next clipped rolled and it was Joey Wheeler and Tea Gardner.
"Eh, Kaiba was jus mad that Tea decked 'im." Joey said.
"I didn't hit him that hard." Tea said laughing.
"Dun be modest Tea, you almos' killed the guy, he couldn' even breathe, hahahaha." Joey laughed.
"You almost killed Seto Kaiba, ok come with me you have the right to remain silent..." A cop said.
"Joey,. how could you, that was not friendship friendly of you, your a...your a... friendship murderer!" Tea shouted as the cop read her rights.
"Tea, I'm sorry."
"MURDERER!"
Sarah fell out of her chair as she saw Tea man handle Joey.
"Hahaha, all of this and more at eleven, now back to our regularly scheduled program."