Cruelty is nothing but a mask

Make up to hide fear

Sporting rage is a simple task

When fright is near

When I finally got my papers, the other newsies had already gotten at least 15 sold. That meant that all the big headlines were already flowing through Manhattan; I wouldn't be able to exaggerate the news much further. Headlines are only so malleable. Jackal was walking in front of me, dodging groups of people and keeping a steady pace. I put no effort into keeping up with her, I had work to do. I skimmed through the paper and until I saw an article about an old woman being knocked over by a drunk. Perfect.

"Elderly woman brutally beaten outside of bakery! Savage brute on the loose!" I shouted, holding up a paper to attract customers. A wry grin spread across my face. Improving the truth was probably the most important lesson I had learned from the other newsies. A few people crowded around me and handed me coins while I distributed their papers. I looked around for a moment and noticed Jackal wasn't around. Phew.

"Liar!"

My attention was drawn back to my customers. A wealthy looking man was holding a crumbled newspaper in his hand.

"What's the problem, sir?"

"Give me my money back. You lied. There's no 'savage brute' on the loose!"

"Excuse me?" I said, faking puzzlement and taking a step back.

"Give me my money back, you nigger!"

I involuntarily made a fist and clenched my jaw. Not this again. I turned around and was on the verge of sprinting away when the guy grabbed my suspenders. I lifted my foot and kicked randomly, hoping to connect my heel with his crotch. No luck.

"I said, give me my money back!"

People walked past us, ignoring the scene playing out in front of them. New York society wasn't friendly, and when this happened to me most people didn't seem to care. I mean, yeah, sometimes a kind lady or good-hearted scholar would help me out. But today wasn't a lucky day for me. Terrific. I winced, preparing myself for a punch in the gut. Instead, I felt a struggle going on behind me. I took the opportunity and pulled away from the guy.

"Don't mess with him, freak!" Jackal shouted.

Oh-no. She was back.

"Don't touch me!"

"Ever heard of morals? Huh!"

I turned around just as Jackal threw a punch at the guy's face. It wasn't a hard blow or anything, but it was enough to make the man wobble backwards. Jackal lunged at the man and tackled him to the ground then spit in his face.

"Get off of me!" he repeated. He grabbed Jackal's wrist in an attempt to throw her off, but she leaned forward bit his hand. My jaw dropped. She just earned herself another reason to be called Jackal. Apparently the bite hurt more than the punch, and the man yelped in pain. He tried to yank his hand out of her mouth, but she kept her teeth clasped onto his knuckles. I stood there among a new crowd of passersby, watching as the guy's palm started to bleed. Enough was enough.

"Stop it!" I yelled as I grabbed Jackal off him. She tried to go back and keep fighting, but a group of people were in her way.

"Let go of me!" she growled at me.

I tugged her away and kept a strong grip on her hand was we jogged off. No one was following us, thankfully. A few minutes later, we ran into Jack.

"Whoa, Boots! What happened?" he questioned.

I bent down and panted, then nudged Jackal in the side. She looked content from the rush of adrenaline she received for attacking the man.

"And ya name is…?" Jack asked.

"Jackal."

"Jack Kell?" he said, confused. "Like me?"

"What? No. Jackal. Like the wild dog."

I caught my breath and stood up.

"Wild is right! Youse a vicious little monster!"

"Aw, be quiet," Jackal shushed.

"Can ya fill me in, Boots?" Jack said.

"She bit some guy back there!"

Jack raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"He had it comin'" Jackal muttered.

"What'd he do?"

"He called Boots a nigger and was about to hurt 'em."

"I didn't need ya to help me," I interjected. "Ya didn't need to soak 'em."

"Wait wait wait. Ya bit this man?" Jack said, smiling in amusement.

"Yeah…" Jackal nodded proudly. She spit onto the street, looking happily at the man's blood in her saliva.

"Looks like ya have a guard dog, Boots," Jack chuckled. He spit into his hand and offered it to Jackal. "I'm Jack Kelly."

Jackal looked suspiciously at his hand and shook it, without spitting.

"I kinda just wasted my spit a second ago…" she mumbled.

"No problem."

Jackal blushed. How magnificent. She had been brainwashed by Jack's handsome face. Now she'd probably never talk to me again. Wait a minute. Was I jealous? I didn't like this girl, she was too crazy. Excellent, now I had to add envy to the list of things I needed to deal with.

"So uh…are ya two good friends or somethin'?" Jack asked me.

"No. We just met this morning. She was in our lodging house."

"Really? Ya plan on bein' a newsie?"

Jackal nodded shyly.

"How'd ya end up there, anyways?" I asked her.

"Oh. I uh…came last night."

"Well, obviously. But why were ya asleep in the bathroom stall?"

"Uh…"

Jack laughed.

"Well, I guess I'll see ya guys at lunch then, alright?" Jack said. "Work ain't over yet."

I waited until he walked away to face Jackal.

"Well?"

"What?"

"How did ya end up in the stall?"

"Oh…erm…I'll tell ya later, just remind me."

As soon as we walked into Tibby's for lunch, Jackal went from being fierce to friendly, like her big jackal callousness had transformed into the innocence of a young puppy. We sat down in a booth next to Mush, Les, and David.

"Hey…" Jackal greeted. She lifted her menu up to partially hide her face. For the little amount of time that I'd known her, I realized that she was extremely afraid of people. Of course, she wasn't frightened if she was enraged, but when she was around larger numbers of people she didn't act the same. She wasn't as open as she was when she first met me.

"Hi!" Les chirped.

Mush grinned at Jackal and David acknowledged her presence with a nod. I glanced over at David, who seemed lost in some article he was reading. I frowned. It bothered me that he could read so well. I knew some words, the basics, but David's vocabulary was enormous.

"Whatcha got there?" I asked him.

David looked up briefly, then answered as he kept reading.

"You remember how Denton said he was going to be a war correspondent?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, there's some war going on over 'The Panama Canal'. I'm reading Denton's story about it."

"The what canal?"

"I don't know yet, I'm not finished reading."

"Are ya educated?" Jackal asked abruptly.

"Excuse me?" David inquired.

"Do ya go to school?"

"I used to go a lot, but then I became a newsie. Well, actually, I still do, but I get Sundays off."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why do ya get Sundays off?"

"So I can to church."

"What's so great about church?"

David stopped reading. Mush leaned in and listened, hopeful for a good debate.

"Church is a place of God, that's what so great. You can pray there with other people. It makes you feel really loved and safe."

"I've never felt like that…"

"Have you ever been to church?"

"No, but I don't think that's the reason."

"What is the reason?"

Jackal paused, and I felt her knee pressing against mine. It was quivering.

"Panic attacks…" she whispered.

"What are those?" Les said.

"Uh…Well, kid…"

"Les. My name is Les."

"'Kay then Les. Let's say youse walkin' around at night, and someone pops outta no where. How does it make ya feel?"

"Scared."

"And does ya heart start beatin real fast? Do ya get scared that the person is gonna hurt ya?"

"Sometimes."

"Imagine feelin' that frightened for no reason, for about half and hour or more."

"That sounds pretty bad."

"That's a panic attack. I get 'em a lot. So I never really feel too safe…" Jackal's voice trailed off and her knee stopped shaking.

"I got one of those a few months ago," Mush piped in.

"Yeah, I've gotten a fair share of 'em myself…" I said.

"I seriously doubt that."

"Hmmm?" Mush mumbled.

"Do ya tremble so much that the world doesn't seem to be still? Do ya lungs ache because ya breathin' so fast? Do ya get so dizzy that each time ya take a step ya gotta grab something for balance?" Jackal paused. Her eyes gleamed with the same frustration that they sparkled with earlier this morning. "Do ya ever feel so physically and mentally scared that ya think youse gonna die?"

"No…"

Jackal looked satisfied. I looked at her quizzically. Even though fear was in her voice, she still found a way to prove something to us. This girl liked being right, obviously. I smirked. Though I was ambivalent to admit it, I'd found the person I had been waiting for.