Author's note: Hello everybody. This chapter is a short one, following a suggestion from Patch5129, this will be a POV chapter. This isn't a full chapter, consider it, chapter 4.5, but just so I don't confuse anyone (namely myself) this will be chapter-5. I would like to point out a few things;
First : I have already started writing the next chapter, but the idea given to me by Patch5129 was just too good to pass up so it will be fitted in between Chapters 4&5
Second : If anyone has been reading the reviews and the author's notes from this fic you will know that I have borrowed an idea from the writer (or should I say 'brilliant writer') ChibifiedKitsunes, that idea will be in the next chapter, not this one (Sorry Chibi but your going to have to wait a little longer to find out which idea I borrowed)
AkiaBinZaid - I don't think I'll have a time jump but thank you for the idea
AkiaBinZaid & Xoni Newcomer - Did it really seem like their always eating? it wasn't something I meant to do, It just seemed natural. I mean, people gotta eat, right? Thanks for pointing this out though.
Xoni Newcomer - Thank you for pointing out my gramatical errors, Its not that I type very fast, its more that I'm a poor speller (LOL!) and sometimes I forget to spellcheck. I'm sorry that I use too many commas I hope it didn't affect your reading, I will attempt to cut back on how many I use. About Sasuke, I had to write him a bit out-of-character otherwise it would seem like he's an asshole which I don't want, otherwise how would I show him feeling remorcfull. The fic has bits of SasuSaku, so I have to make it seem like Sasuke does have a heart. A HUGE thanks to your suggestion, it solved a problem that I was having with an idea that I developed (well, it was really Danial's idea)
Daniel of Lorien - Thank you very much! Your idea is brilliant, I'll use it
Soban - 'Thank' and 'You' are the first two words that come to my mind. I'm glad you liked it
Chibified kitsunes - Thanks! I tried to be original for Kakashi's excuse. As for Hiashi, not once did he say he liked Naruto, for now he is just warming up to Hinata. Thank you so much for allowing me use of one of your ideas (Its a kinda small idea which I borrowed, but one which will really help the story, I thought it best to ask for your permission before somone accused me of stealing)
KyLewin - Thank you very much for taking the time to read AND reveiw every chapter
Well without further ado...
Out of Sight, Center of Mind
Chapter five - Naruto's thoughts (POV Chapter)
It's late at night. I'm all curled up in my bed, awaiting the bliss provided by sleep. I can feel the soft, cotton bandages covering my eyes, I have to remind myself that the bandages are not the reason I cannot see. There is a light breeze coming in through my window and cooling me down, I can hear the beginings of a rain storm outside, I can hear faint droplets of water falling. I straighten out so I'm on my back. The covers of my bed lay around my waist as my head rests on the interlocked fingers of my hands, supported by the soft pillow. Every night, If I'm not exhausted from training, I adopt a similier postion and think about the day's events, my dreams for the future, my friends.
Today was a good day, I finally spoke with Sasuke and now everything is cool between us. Sasuke is really starting to break down the walls between us and himself. Ever since I brought him back to Konoha he has really begun to respect me, Sure, he tries to hide it by calling me an idiot, and by doing his unique "I'm better than you" laugh, well...more of a grunt, but despite this, he looks at me with respect, Sakura-chan aswell. I could see it in his eyes, before I lost the use of them, that he looked at Sakura-chan without giving her a cold comment on her performance as a ninja. Ofcourse...everytime he turns around and sees me, he denies it. I'm not exactly sure what he sees, he may see that she has imroved since the day of the survival training, the day we truely became a team. He may see that she would give her own life to protect someone she cares about. I sometimes think that he is thinking of her as more than a teamate, more than a friend even...but then I snap back to reality, reminding myself that it was Sasuke I was thinking about. That guy has as much feeling for someone as a large rock...although...that 'rock' does look at Sakura-chan a lot.
I wonder what Sakura-chan thinks, in all the time I've known her, I don't think I've ever noticed her to be less mindfull of Sasuke. She must truely love him, ever since we brought Sasuke back he hasn't been bothered by a single mindless fan-girl. I noticed this a week after I came back to active duty with my team. Before Sasuke went Power-mad, I always stayed a clean ten meters away from him because every time we came back from a mission, the fan-girls would appear as if from no where and dog-pile onto him, but after that, when we brought him out of his power-lust, A good eighty percent of all villigers looked down on him. Not us though, especially not Sakura-chan. She didn't care what Sasuke had tried to do, her love for him was true and pure, even I could see that. If I could see that then surely Sasuke could see it. Ever since I figured out Sakura-chan's feelings for Sasuke, and not for me, I was hurt, really hurt. In that moment I knew that I couldn't win Sakura-chan's heart and I never would. For a time I was feeling lost, It was as if I had lost the drive in my life and I was carrying on with momentum only, but even that was slowing down, it got so bad that I was even tempted to take my own life, and believe me when I say that the prospect of death was very tempting compared to a life time of loneliness. One night I had made up my mind, I couldn't take it any more. I wasn't angry at Sasuke and certainly not at Sakura-chan, I was angry at myself for liking Sakura-chan in the first place. Every time she gets the oppurtunity she openly declares her love for Sasuke, I just couldn't take a hint. That night, I decided that I would kill myself, then the pain would end. I picked out one kunai and left all of my other ninja equipment, I dressed in my cloathes and went for my last meal at the Ichiraku, afterwards I took one last walk around Konoha, one last look at the Hokage monument, one last moment spent at the training logs where I became a gennin. I finally arrived at the old ninja academy. The journey had begun here, it was fitting that it would end here. I took out my kunai, I brought it into contact with my wrist, I applyed as much pressure on it as possible, I closed my eyes and with one quick motion, I pulled the kunai down. It didn't hurt like I thought it would, I looked down on my wrist, I hadn't even broken the skin. I looked at the kunai, still in my left hand, confused I placed my thumb on the blade and dragged it up and down over and over again and all it gave me couldn't even be considered a paper cut. I smacked my forehead from my stupidity, I knew I shouldn't of used that kunai. That particular one was my very first weapon, the very first one I ever used, it was the one I used to make the promise to protect the old man in the wave country, the one used to mark the tree when I was doing the chakra controll training where we had to climb the tree without the use of our arms, when we started Kakashi-sensei threw use one of his own kunai but later I brought out my own, special one, It had gone blunt with the countless times I had used it, the edges were almost rounded for goodness sakes. Fate wasn't on my side tonight. Seeing as the rest of my night was free, I decided to take yet another walk. I even saw Hinata-chan that night. I found her crying in an alley-way. Hinata-chan had always been kind to me, giving me ointment, giving me courage right before my fight with her cousin. So I decided to sit down and see what was wrong with her. She noticed my arrival and seemed to curl herself into a tight ball on the ground. I sat down in the dirt next to her and put an arm on her for comfort and asked her what was wrong, She pulled herself up of the ground into a sitting position but was still unable to talk. I understood, not why she was crying but what she was feeling. Six years ago it would of been me crying my eyes out into the little hours of the morning. I told her what I wanted to hear those six years ago.
"Its not your fault"
She noticably calmed down and actually smiled at me, though a weak smile, it was a pure one. She mouthed a 'thank you' to me but she still didn't talk and a few tears remained on her cheeks. I helped her off the ground and walked her home. She didn't say one word to me but I understood. To this day I don't know why she was out at one-thirty in the morning crying. After I had walked her home I decided to go and give killing myself another try, untill I thought about Hinata-chan. If I didn't show up when I did, who knows what could of happend? And I never forgot the smile I recieved from the shy girl. I decided to post-pone my plans while I went home and slept. The next morning I woke up refreshed and happier than I had ever been. As if something had given a jump start to my life. I constantly think back to that night, if I hadn't seen Hinata-chan that night then I'd of probably killed myself after I found another kunai. I never did thank Hinata for that night even if she didn't mean to do anything, but still...she saved me from myself.
Every night I think about the cause of most of my problems...Kyuubi. I didn't ask for him to be sealed in me. Sometimes I feel like crying about the things that could of been if it weren't for the demon, sealed beneath my navel, but I bottle up this hurt and these feelings so I can hide my pain from the eyes of others. Sometimes I think about what my friends would say if I told them about Kyuubi, Would they accept me? would they hate me? Sooner or later the truth is going to come out, sooner or later I'm going to have to tell all of my friends that I harbour the demon that almost destroyed Konoha village and claimed the lives of many shinobi, some of which could of belonged to their family. But what will happen when the truth does come out? would they care? would they accept me for who I am? or will I be alone once again? I've gotten used to these thoughts but now I'm starting to think about what Hinata-chan would think. Maybe...I could tell her, but...what will happen if I do? what will she do? I wont risk it, at least...not yet.
Being blind is strangly comforting. Without my sight I can hear and smell things that I had never paid any attention to before. The running of water today at the bridge where Hinata-chan and I met up with Sasuke and Sakura-chan. Hinata-chan's voice is nice aswell, before, I had trouble hearing her but now its like I'm constantly listening for her. Most things that I hear sound nice, I can hear things that I usually ignore. This has it's downsides though, I can hear one of my next-door neighbors snoring quite loudly and I can hear the couple on the other side of my appartment doing...questionable things. But one of the strangest things is the rain. It's raining quite hard outside now, at least its not thunder and lightning, its a silly thing really, that I'm afraid of thunder and lightning. It happened a few years ago, before I found out about Kyuubi. I was walking home from the ninja academy, Iruka had tied me to a chair this time so I was unable to escape my detention, like the time when I scarper'd with Shikamaru, Chouji and Kiba out the window before Iruka caught us. I was walking home and it was raining very hard, there was thunder and lightining, I was loving it, untill I was jumped by a group of guys, they called me a monster and beat the crap out of me, they ripped off my jacket, my shirt and my pants leaving only my boxers. I cried my eyes out from the pain, from the cold but most of all, from the fact that I had no idea why they did this. I had no idea about the Kyuubi at the time so I didn't know why an eight year old boy, coming home from a late night detention was so threatining to them. After the pain dulled from the cold, I picked myself up off the ground and continued home. I had lost a fair amount of blood through my nose and my eye not to mention I felt as if I had swallowed a snow man, whole. Of course, I was terrified to leave my appartment after that but I decided that I would have to, fortunatly, the nights rest had been enough to repair the phyisical damage but as for the mental damage...Since then I have always been slightly afraid of nights like that. I make sure that no one knows this, what's one more pain compared to the collection I already carry. I'm just thankfull it is not one of those nights tonight.
I can hear the rain very clearly, it is impacting off my window, the sounds are very hypnotic, A combination of wind and rain was making a beautifull sound. I wonder what is going to happen tomorrow. I pull up my cover to my neck as I am starting to feel a little chili. I listen to the sounds outside, I listen...I listen...I yawn...I listen again...I can feel sleep over-powering me. The world around me fades out...
Author's note: Written in five hours (two of which spent in the shower and eating) I decided to write this small chapter at the suggestion written in by Patch5129. Later, I might do one on Hinata. Anyway, like I said the next chapter is well underway but it probably wont be released for a while yet, as of now chapter six stands at 41kb in space. Remeber everyone, I'm open to suggestions, Please review.
Reviewers(in order)-Nonengel(4), Xoni Newcomer(2), Wormkaizer, boredathome, Yondaime-samaKazaraYume(2), AkiaBinZaid(2), TimeShifter16(2), Kawaii34girl, TomokiG, Crutches(2), Apharmed, warkntye, NotasuSama, chibified kitsunes(2), nArUtOhInAtAfOrEvEr, Daniel of Lorien, Soban, MajiShodaime, AkiaBinZaid, minimerc, KyLewin(4), Patch5129
Thank you all! (I hope you haven't fogotten that my birthday is in just over a month, 10th November, Be sure to give me a present LOL!)