I do not own Hellsing Ultimate or any of the characters.
Fishing
Angel smirked knowingly at Alucard as Alucard swirled his wine glass, Angel sipping at a Vodka Sunrise double shot.
"LET ME OUT! ! !" Seras shrieked from inside her coffin in the cargo hold.
"These Sunrises are great," Angel said, Alucard's grin growing.
"The wine's not bad either," Alucard said.
"You two are so cold," Pip said. "You really don't care she's shouting, do you?"
"Do you?" Alucard asked.
"Until she drinks blood, she can't be in the sun," Angel said. "It'll burn her, though not to the point of spontaneous combustion."
"Still, though," Pip said.
Angel and Alucard both shrugged.
Pip sighed. "The books were so wrong."
Angel chuckled, finishing his drink. "Want to play a game of cards, Pip?"
"Why not?" Pip sighed, Angel forming a deck from his blood.
Angel opened Seras' coffin as Alucard dismissed Pip from their penthouse to go back to his own hotel, a dirty, cheap one on the edge of town.
"Seras," Angel said softly but seriously, Seras stirring. "Wake up. There's trouble."
Seras blinked a couple times before getting up and stretching. "What kind of trouble?"
"The kind that requires your guns," Angel said, holding out her machine gun.
Seras grew serious instantly and accepted it, Angel quickly guiding her away from the windows. Just as they reached a spot where they couldn't be seen from the outside, the lights clicked out.
"Someone's decided to welcome us to South America," Angel said.
Alucard nodded just before a helicopter flew up in front of the glass balcony door, shining a spotlight into the window. Seras took a step over to look outside, only for Angel to catch her and pull her back.
"There are dozens of police cars outside, hundreds of cops, including SWAT," Angel said. "We've been declared terrorists and apparently we've barricaded ourselves inside."
"What!?" Seras shrieked. "No way!"
Alucard began to laugh. "Now it's time for us to go to war!"
Angel looked to the door as he heard boots running quietly across the floor, lining up along the hallway outside, the SWAT team probably taking cover behind the pillars in the hallway.
"Show time," Angel said. "Let's have some fun, boss."
Alucard grinned. "Let's."
Just then, the door burst open, a dozen troops running in with submachine guns, finding Alucard and Angel standing in front of the balcony windows, the full moon behind them gigantic and tinted pink, a perfect Hunter's Moon. The soldiers unleashed battle cries, opening fire. The bullets slammed into the two of them rapidly, shredding their bodies quickly. However, neither moved. Finally, both collapsed. Angel carefully controlled his blood, keeping enough in his body to keep himself alive while Alucard simply allowed himself to take the damage. The SWAT team turned to leave, only for Alucard to speak.
"Dogs," Alucard insulted as both began to pull their blood back into themselves, the damage mending itself as they rose to their feet. "That was a nice try, but I cannot be killed by dogs. It takes a man to kill a monster!"
Then, he shot forward, biting into a cop's throat and using his entire body to fling the cop into the wall, killing him.
Angel shot past him, blood scythe in hand, and slashed, splitting two cops in half. Alucard passed him, slashing two into piece with his bare hands. Angel spun as Alucard bent forward, his scythe splitting all but two. They turned to flee, only for Angel to form a pair of throwing knives, one between his index and middle fingers, and the other between his pinky and ring fingers. Then he hurled them, embedding them in the base of the SWAT members' skulls, dropping them both. After a moment, Seras climbed out of the cupboard she'd been hiding in, looking around.
"Master..." Seras trailed off.
"Seras, prepare for battle," Angel instructed.
"But..."
"Is there a problem?" Alucard growled. "Do as you're told!"
"But, Master, sir, these people...they're humans," Seras said, walking over to them, trying to avoid the blood as much as possible.
"Your point?" Alucard asked.
"These people are human beings!" Seras snapped.
"I don't care what they are!" Alucard shouted, grabbing her by the shirt and pulling her close to him, only to stop as Angel's scythe blade slipped between them, resting against his throat.
"I can't kill you, but I can take your head off and deny you the fun of a hunt," Angel said.
Alucard huffed, releasing Seras, who fell onto her butt in a puddle of blood. "You coddle her too much."
"That's my choice," Angel said, absorbing his scythe. "You chose not to turn her, so how I treat her is none of your business. And I'm not coddling her by being patient. You may have never been human, even before being a vampire, so you never knew anything else, but some of us remember what it's like to be human."
Alucard huffed again. "You'd be better off forgetting." He walked over to a phone off to the side, picking it up and dialing Integra's office while Angel knelt by the largest pool of blood, placing his hand in it.
The blood began to flow toward his hand, being absorbed through his skin as quickly as it reached it. Once it was done, he stood, glancing at Seras.
"Are you okay?" he asked, walking over to her.
Seras nodded. "I'll be alright."
Angel nodded, wrapping his arms around her, hugging her, allowing her to lean into him, wrapping her arms around him as well as her head rested on his shoulder.
"Coddling," Alucard said, hanging up his phone, a wide, excited grin on his face. "We have our orders."
"Then after you," Angel said, holding a hand out toward the door.
Alucard grinned, walking over and pulling the doors open before drawing his guns and walking out into the hallway where the rest of the SWAT members were waiting. He laughed excitedly. Then, the shooting began. Angel and Seras waited inside the room, out of the way of Alucard's bullets. A minute later, the gunfire began to fade and descend, so Angel sighed, forming himself a scythe again and walking to the balcony.
"Pip should be here soon," Angel said, glancing back at her. "I'm going to head out and see if I can find the attack's mastermind."
Seras nodded. "Be careful."
"Grab your gun in case anyone comes to find you," Angel said. "Even if they're human, don't show mercy. I know you don't like the idea, but it'll be you or them."
Seras nodded, and Angel turned, walking out onto the balcony and looking down. Just as he did, six SWAT members exploded out of the hotel's front door and fell on the hotel's flag pole, being impaled on them. A moment later, Alucard stepped out of the hotel, a light shining on him casting his shadow on the front of the hotel. He lifted the sides of his coat, his shadow transforming into a giant bat. As it did, a man in a brown suit walked forward to bow to Alucard. He was speaking, but Angel still couldn't make out his words. He looked up toward the roof, then back down at Alucard. Just as he did, the man, who was holding a card, swept his arm out to the side, several decks' worth of cards seeming to fall from his arm itself, blowing into a ring behind him. Some of them blew over to form a ring in front of Alucard before the vampire hurled the card he was holding. It flew like a bullet, kicking up a cloud of dust before reaching the building and causing an explosion. It missed Alucard, however, except for slicing a cut into his right cheek. The man sent a half a deck flying at Alucard, but he avoided the strike. As the man continued to hurl card after card at Alucard, he began to kill law enforcement, too, and even took one news reporter's head off with one card.
Angel hummed, impressed. The man had skill. Alucard opened fire, killing a few cops before dodging more cards. He fired again, getting the vampire through the neck, only for the man to transform into cards. Then, an explosion hurled Alucard forward to the ground before cards burst up from it before exploding. However, as the dust settled, Alucard was on the side of the building. Angel jumped off the balcony, skidding down the wall before stopping in a low crouch beside Alucard, then stood as though gravity had shifted.
"This looks fun," Angel said. "Mind if I join in?"
"I do," Alucard said. "The humans are yours."
"Pass," Angel said. "Not as much fun. At least, not these ones. Besides, you're bleeding pretty heavily."
Alucard huffed. "The roof."
Angel nodded and they both turned, sprinting up to the roof, the vampire walking up the wall after them. As they reached the roof, Alucard collapsed, blood all but flooding out of him as Angel turned to face the wall.
"Magic playing cards," Alucard said to himself, chuckling. "How interesting."
Just then, he stepped up over the edge of the building and stopped, staring at Angel, who had his scythe resting on his shoulder and a smirk on his face.
"Deal me in," Angel said.
The vampire grinned widely. "You must be Hellsing's other vampire. Angel, was it? My name is Tubalcain Alhambra, but some people have taken to calling me the Dandy Man."
"That's too bad," Angel sighed.
"Oh?" Alhambra asked.
"I've always wanted to fight someone who used cards and called themselves The Dealer," Angel said. "Call it a nerd bucket list."
Alhambra chuckled, raising his hand in front of his face and flipping a card up from behind his hand, then spreading it into a fan of cards. "That is a good name. I believe I'll use it after I kill you both."
"Feel free to try," Angel smirked.
Alhambra grinned as Alucard stood as well. Then, all three were off, Alhambra hurling cards rapidly, Alucard firing his guns, and Angel transforming his scythe into a few dozen throwing knives, all of them stabbed into his arms and the tops of his shoulders while he wasn't holding them. All three's projectiles filled the air rapidly, all three dodging any that came at them. Alhambra tried to work his way between them, but before he could get there, Seras finally arrived on the roof, shouting as she opened fire at Alhambra, forcing him to block the bullets by sacrificing cards. However, after a moment, her gun was empty. She tossed it aside and grabbed her cannon, firing once, only for him to split the bullet with a card. Then, Angel reached him with his scythe. Alhambra's eyes widened, but as he turned to hurl a card, Alucard shot his hand, removing his fingers. Alhambra shrieked in pain, then again as Angel took his right leg off at the thigh with a smooth sweep of his scythe.
"That's bust," Angel said.
Alhambra's left hand grabbed a card, only for Alucard to place a bullet from his newer, more powerful gun through his shoulder, removing the arm. Alhambra screamed as Alucard grabbed him by the face.
"Nicely done, Angel," Alucard commended. "Now, it's time we start dealing with the business at hand. I'm obliged to give you a thorough interrogation, so you're going to tell me everything you know. Well, your blood will!"
He bit into Alhambra's neck, spraying blood across the roof. However, a second later, Alhambra's body, minus his arm and leg, were engulfed in brilliant blue flames. Angel huffed, picking up the arm and leg. As Alucard dropped Alhambra's disintegrating body and began to laugh and clap, Angel bit into Alhambra's leg, the blood that remained in it spraying out before flowing backward through the air and into Angel, as did the pool of Alhambra's blood that he was standing in. He tossed Alucard the arm and Alucard tore into it, devouring it in its entirety in seconds.
"Did you get what you needed?" Alucard asked.
"I did," Angel nodded. "I know how to shuffle a deck now."
Alucard chuckled. "It's about time you learned that. All these years and you still can't even do the bridge."
"Can now," Angel said.
"That's all, Master?" Seras asked. "You drank his blood just to learn to shuffle?"
"And how he manipulated his cards," Angel shrugged. "But that's beside the point."
Just then, a helicopter rose into the air beside the building, Pip inside of it, holding a pistol to the pilot's head.
"Alucard, Angel, Miss Victoria!" Pip called out. "Can I give you a lift somewhere?"
Angel grinned. "I like this one."
"We ruin all the countries we govern and the people in our care," Alucard said. "We slaughter our enemies and sacrifice all our allies. We'll keep killing until there's nothing left but to destroy ourselves. It will never be enough. We are incorrigible warmongers, aren't we, Major?"
"Hurry up!" Pip shouted. "Come on, people! We need to get going now!"
Angel shook his head, picking up Seras, who was holding her guns, then jumped into the open back door of the helicopter. They both sat down, and a second later, Alucard joined them, closing the door.
"Let's go," Alucard said.
Pip nodded to the pilot, and he steered away from the hotel.
"I was kind of hoping for a better fight," Angel sighed. "Still, worth it for some new tricks."
He held up a hand, blood forming into several throwing knives, which hovered in the air above his hand.
"Whoa!" Seras said. "That's so cool!"
"It'll be useful," Angel nodded. "So, did we learn what we needed?"
Alucard nodded. "We learned everything."
"Good," Angel said. "Then we can get the real hunt underway."
Alucard nodded, a wide, excited grin stretching across his face as they all fell silent.
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