A/N: Sorry this update has been SO long. But computer issues. I'll be updating LLL soon, too. I hope.

Buffy ran after the vampire, finding he had gotten no further than the alleyway of the Bronze. Spike was leaning against the wall with his back to her, his shoulders sunken. She walked slowly up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He quickly shrugged it off and mumbled something she didn't understand. She took his wrist and tried to turn him around. This time he shook her off more violently.

"Don't do that," He growled, looking at her. "Don't touch me. How can you?"

She looked him in the eyes, surprised to see moisture building up there "Because you're different now, Spike"

"Why, 'cos of the soul?" He mocked.

"Yeah"

"You don't get it, do you? The soul is nothing" Spike turned to her, nostrils flaring "It's just a front. I don't need a soul to be good but I obviously must have thought I needed one to be worthy of you. Because you place so much importance on it. I was good before the soul! Or, at least, I thought I was…"

"You were"

He laughed bitterly "Right. 'Cos tryin' to rape you was real nice of me. Don't get me wrong, Buffy, I know I'm a monster. I know I've killed and I've enjoyed it but I've never done that. Never forced myself in that way upon anyone"

"And you didn't that time, I either. You didn't go through with it"

Spike regarded her, solemnly "And was that of my own accord or did you stop me?"

Buffy said nothing but her silence was enough. He let out a sound from deep in his throat and took off down the alleyway. She followed close behind, not being too pushy just waiting for when he'd be ready to talk. He looked like he might bolt at any minute. He turned a corner and they made their way back into suburbia. She wondered if he was heading back home and if so, it had been a pretty disastrous date.

"Why would you want me to love you, if that's how I go about it?" He asked quietly, hands deep in his pockets.

The Slayer came up to the side of him to walk with him "That was one time, Spike. And I don't condone it, far from it, but there were circumstances. Things that happened between us that made you think when I said no I meant yes. Ninety nine times out of a hundred you got it right"

"Yeah, well, not good enough"

"Spike, did you hear a thing I said earlier? We both did horrible and degrading things to each other. I beat you up so badly you didn't even look like you anymore" She said, still ashamed.

He snorted "That's not the same"

"Why? How is it okay to solve things with my fists? Just because you're the guy, doesn't mean anything. I'm stronger than you and I had a soul when I used you"

Spike cast a sideways glance at her "No offence, Slayer, but the way you tell it this thing we had sounds no fun at all"

Buffy smiled at that "It wasn't all doom and gloom…okay, so, mostly it was but we had moments. I didn't want to be around anyone but you"

"Why's that, then?"

"I don't know." She shrugged "I guess because you understood me. You had to claw your way out of a coffin, too, and you took care of Dawn. When I came back I just…felt like I needed to be near you. Ever since we first saw each other again"

Spike sighed "I remember that. On the stairs, with Dawn. I don't…I can't remember how I felt at the time…it's like a fog…"

"The spell"

"And there are other things, too. Memories that are just blurry. Things I did that don't seem to make sense. Like getting the soul or sticking around with your lot after you'd died. I stayed with Dawn and I shouldn't have. I was a vampire, a chipped one, but why would I bother myself with the Slayer's kid sister?" He pondered aloud, frustrated.

Buffy smiled a little "Because I asked you too and you promised"

"Yeah, well…" Spike trailed off.

"And you love her, too. Don't pretend you don't" She nudged him gently in the ribs "And I don't think the spell's taken that away from you"

He shook his head "I do not! She's an annoying brat! And I don't like how tall she's getting. Makes me feel inadequate"

"Sounds like love to me"

"Oh, sod off" He grumbled.

She smiled again. He seemed to be getting back to his usual self so Buffy boldly threaded her arm through his. Spike looked at her for a moment before facing forward again and the two of them walked down the road arm in arm. She wondered if the night was salvageable after all. Not many first dates survived the attempted rape talk. This was different, though. She had to make this work or he wouldn't reverse the spell.

"Willow thinks I should let my hair down more often" She told him just to make conversation.

Spike nodded absently "It looks nice down"

Buffy laughed a little "Thanks, but she meant the less literal meaning"

"Oh, right" He looked down at the ground embarrassed "Well, it's understandable. You've got an army to lead. Have to set a good example"

"Yeah, well, maybe Faith was right. Maybe I should let them cut loose once in a while. Have some fun"

"Are we forgetting that Faith just got herself and a good portion of said army blown up?"

Buffy poked him in the arm, smiling "That's not funny"

"Of course not" Spike smiled back.

She was so relieved to see him smile again that she could forgive the subject matter that brought it about. A happy Spike was a spell-doing Spike. The sooner the spell was reversed the sooner they could go back to normal.

"I think I'm going to have to say this night has been a resounding failure" Spike looked up at the stars, blankly.

Buffy shook her head "Doesn't have to be over yet"

He looked at her questioningly.

"Let's stay out a bit longer, be wild and crazy and break curfew" She gave him a crooked grin.

He returned the smile "Giles might ground us. Or, you know, try to have me killed again"

"I'm willing to risk it"

"Oh, thanks"

"We've survived worse than Giles' assassination attempts. Like being engaged"

Spike laughed "You remember that? I assumed you'd had Willow erase it from your mind"

Buffy tilted her "You remember that? I thought, what with the spell…"

"Must not have been in love with you then." He countered "Just fancied you something rotten"

She slapped him on the arm "You did not. We hated each other, then"

"Didn't mean I didn't enjoy having you cavorting on my lap"

"I was not cavorting! I was merely…sitting"

"Right, sitting and wiggling about just to tease me"

Buffy gaped "So not true"

"Mmm hmm" Spike turned to her "You were a little tease, Summers. All the things you whispered to me that we never got around to doing. Frustrates a bloke, that"

She looked at him mischievously "Well, we got around to them later"

"You what? Even the…"

"Yep"

Spike was shocked "And…?"

"Uh huh"

"Bloody…" He took a deep breath "That alone is almost worth doing the spell to get the memories back"

Buffy smiled and took Spike's hand, entwining their fingers, so she could pull him over to a bench off to the side of them. They'd somehow made their way into Weatherly Park and were right by the duck pond. There were no ducks at this time of year, though, just still water with a bunch of lily pads and probably some frogs. Guess the little amphibians weren't wise enough to leave town before the apocalypse hit.

They sat close together, huddled for warmth. Buffy really wished she'd picked up her jacket before running after him. Goosebumps rose up on her arms and Spike seemed to notice at the same time she did. He sat up straighter and started undoing his shirt. When she noticed he clearly had nothing on underneath it she placed her hand on his and shook her head.

"You're cold, and I know it's not much but it's something to cover you better" Spike explained.

She looked pointedly at the flesh he had exposed "You're not wearing anything underneath"

"So? I'm a vampire, the cold doesn't bother me"

"Yeah, but half-naked Spike does bother me" Buffy responded "I'm seen way too much of him lately"

He smirked "Worry you'll get tempted, do you?"

She rolled her eyes "Oh, yeah. I can barely resist"

Spike laughed and then sighed as if he were put out. His gaze turned towards the duck pond in front of them and Buffy faced forward again too. She wasn't exactly sure what she should do. Spike wanted her to prove to him that he should love her. How exactly, was she supposed to do that? She could go the tried and tested route of having sex with him. Outside, in a public park. It could add to their long list of unsuitable places for sexual intercourse. It wouldn't be a wise idea, though. Buffy wasn't even sure she was ready to sleep with Spike again. Or if she ever would be. She couldn't decide what exactly it was that she wanted from him – an ally, a friend or a lover? Everything between them was so complicated. She'd never had a relationship with so many layers to it.

"Buffy," Spike said suddenly.

She blinked, turning to him "What?"

"We've got company"

That was when the demon emerged from the pond, snarling.