Broken and Mended
Meredith creeps down to the living room afterwards, her t-shirt pillowing around her small frame as she sits down in a chair next to the window. She listens to the hum of the insects outside, the rain specking on the windows, and she looks up when she hears the creek on the stairs. George is standing there, looking sheepish in his boxers. "Hey," she whispers in the dark.
"I was thirsty and I was going to get a glass of water and then you weren't there."
"I'm thinking," she replies. George doesn't say anything for a minute, then pads into the kitchen where she can hear the sink running and returns with two glasses of ice water. She doesn't drink hers, just holds it in her hand, letting the coldness, the wetness of the condensation make her fingers feel slightly numb. It's how she feels all over right now. Numb. She shouldn't have—but George starts to talk and she decides not to say anything yet, just to listen.
"I know I'm not McDreamy. But the way I see it, you should be glad I'm not."
"George." It's her warning. Talking about Derek isn't going to help. He better make his point.
"Derek already hurt you. I haven't. He doesn't deserve a second chance."
He has her attention now. She turns slowly towards him, her eyes focusing on him instead of outside. "What else?"
George stumbles on. "I know how you take your coffee. I know what kind of shampoo you use, what your favorite food is, and what your favorite CD is. I know how to cheer you up. Remember when we used to go look at the babies when we were first starting out at the hospital? I can make you happy."
Maybe he could, she thinks. Maybe instead of starting from physical attraction, starting from friendship would have a better outcome. She has convinced herself of this by her shift on Monday, by the time she would see Derek again. But as soon as she steps out to do her rounds, he sees her, and she sees Addison talking earnestly to him, and all those thoughts, all that reason is thrown out the window.
It's always like this. She thinks she's fine, she thinks she's over it, that she can handle things, and then she sees him and she can't help herself, she starts thinking about what she's missing. Even if it wasn't serious. Even if she was the dirty mistress after all, she's holding onto that chance that he doesn't think that about her, about them.
She manages to avoid him most of the day and whenever she sees a glint of red, she walks in the opposite direction, hoping she doesn't have to be polite to her today. She isn't doing it consciously, but she manages to avoid George for most of the day too. She gets paired up with Alex on a case and for once she doesn't mind his attitude. She's just relieved to have something else to think about for most of her day. But as she's taking a break for a late dinner, he catches her on the way down to the cafeteria. He pulls her into a nearby storage closet, similar to the one she had run to a few weeks earlier, where he had somehow found her, and comforted her about her mother.
"Is this really necessary?" She asks, frowning, hoping it's convincing enough to fool him.
And then he's kissing her. "Wha…" She trails off, stunned.
"Addison stayed with Mark in New York after I left." He glances down and she notices how tired he seems. Not as cheerful as when she knew him.
"Oh," she says quietly.
"I shouldn't have given her a second chance. I'm sorry."
Meredith swallows slowly, trying to push past the intense look in his eyes, the look that's directed at her, the look that she remembers so well. "So what does this mean?"
"It means…well, I don't know exactly what it means, but if you still want to--"
"I do," she nods. She's so sure, more sure about this than anything else. He smiles at her and she thinks she sees a bit of the old Derek peeking through. She wonders if she looks different, seems different to him, but then he kisses her again, and all those familiar feelings come rushing back. He doesn't taste different. He tastes the same.
She doesn't think of George until she's halfway down the hall to the locker rooms. They are empty and she's glad, glad his hopeful face isn't there waiting for her.
She's going to break his heart tonight, she knows. But hers is already beginning to mend.