Out of Time

by KorKor11

Bella Swan lost her life and then her memory, creating a confused newborn trying to put together the pieces of her missing past. With the aid of Tanya and Irina, she learns to control her vampiric abilities while avoiding the murderous Victoria. But no one can control when time rips her from the present and brings her to Katrina. Kate/Bella. Katella.

8. Chapter 8

"I had to make sure she was safe-" Kate snarled, cutting Edward off by tightening her grip around his throat. He gagged, hands flying to her arms in an attempt to rip her off him.

Something primal awakened in her. It was a glorious sight to see the man she detested, the man who broke her mate's heart, squirming and gagging helplessly. His life was in her hands, and she could end it within seconds if she chose to.

Or I could torture him longer. Make him feel the pain he inflicted on my Bella tenfold.

"Safe? Is that why you left her alone in the fucking woods!"

The warrior felt electricity surge through her body, flowing down her arms and making Edward shriek in pain. His hands fell limply to his sides and he thrashed wildly, unable to control his movements. Kate could see the veins bulge in his neck and her hands twitched, eager to squeeze harder.

"Kate!" Alice's startled yell fell on deaf ears.

"Stop it, Alice," Rosalie muttered darkly. "He brought this on himself." That we can agree on.

She stopped shocking the vampire, trembling slightly as the mind reader blinked up at her with wide eyes. Everyone was gathered outside, watching with various expressions at the sight.

But she didn't care. Kate spared a glance at Bella, who was looking at Edward emotionlessly. She seemed conflicted, a mix of anger and indifference.

When Bella's eyes met hers they softened. You don't have to do this, they seemed to say, and Kate's resolve strengthened. Yes, I do.

The primal rage in her lessened. This justice wasn't for her. It was for Bella. Everything she did was for Bella. And maybe that wasn't healthy. She knew it wasn't. But she didn't care about that. Not when Bella was worried about her. Not when Bella picked her concern for Kate's wellbeing over her desire to get back at Edward.

I'd do anything for you.

She looked back at Edward. "Apologize!" She growled, loosening her grip ever so slightly so he could speak.

He panted, wincing as his dark eyes darted over to Bella. "I...I don't understand. How can you be-" he screeched in pain as more electricity coursed through his body.

"That's not an apology." Kate snarled. All these years I've waited for her, you had her, and you hurt her. It brought angry, venom-filled tears to her eyes. She couldn't help but feel as though she should have rescued her. I should have looked for her. I should have kept her away from Edward and his parasitic family.

When she stopped the mind reader was still trembling, trying to regain his bearings as she allowed him a break. "I won't tell you again. Apologize."

She wanted to keep electrocuting him. But this wasn't for her. This was for Bella.

Edward kept staring at Bella, eyes filled with remorse. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, that was never my intention. I only wanted to protect you but…" his eyes filled with tears. "I see that I've made a huge mistake. I never wanted this for you. I still love you-"

"I've heard enough," Bella said, voice devoid of all emotion as she turned her back on him. "Do you remember what I said to you on the way here?" They talked already. But what about?

"...that you can still hate me despite my love for you."

A growl of possessiveness escaped her lips but she refrained from shocking him. There was no competition when it came to Edward. None. It was something she had to constantly remind herself.

"Yes. My memories are gone, Edward. I don't remember us and I don't want to." Kate grinned, feeling victorious by how easily Bella dismissed him.

There had been doubt. A slight fear that Bella would fall apart at the sight of Edward, or run into his arms. It was ridiculous and unfair to her mate, but her insecurity had once again reared its ugly head and made her fear the worst.

Edward's eyes were wide as he stared up at the brunette. "You don't remember? How-"

"Does it matter?" Bella growled, turning so she could glare at him.

"It does, actually." He snapped back, earning him an intense jolt of lightning.

He hissed in pain and Kate bared her teeth at him. "Watch your tone."

Edward glared at her. "This is absurd. Let me go-"

"Do you understand nothing?" She growled. "My mate was gone for so long, only to find out that she was with you. And that you abandoned her after she was attacked by your brother." Angry tears burned her eyes. "Then Laurent found her and he…" she had tried not to think about what he did to her.

When Irina spoke with her about the ordeal she could hardly get the words out. It took Bella's body days to repair itself. She had been mangled, a mess of broken limbs and torn flesh. She had been soaked in her own blood and sweat, and her screams prior to being changed had been more intense than when the venom coursed through her body.

I should have looked for her. I should have protected her. In many ways, she felt like a failure. She was Bella's warrior, she always had been, but when her mate had needed her most she wasn't there.

"You left her unprotected." Kate hated the crack in her voice, and she steeled herself. "He tortured her. The trauma made her lose her memories." The mind reader looked stunned for a moment before his eyes filled with venom.

"Bella, I...I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen." He was trembling now, seemingly just as disturbed by the news of her change as everyone else had been. "If I had known-" his voice cracked and he swallowed thickly. "I'm so sorry I didn't protect you. I'm so sorry that Laurent was ever able to get his hands on you. If I had known what would happen I would have never left."

Edward sounded ashamed, he sounded disgusted with himself. It was strange. His guilt and remorse sounded so much like her own that she nearly winced. The Cullens were definitely to blame. They should have killed that pitiful coven when they first took an interest in Bella. And yet, Kate couldn't help but feel her own regret rise to the surface. I should have been there. I should have been better. Bella deserves better.

Bella softened for a moment. "If you had known then you wouldn't have left, and it would have taken me longer to find Kate."

"That may be true." Edward conceded. There was pain in his voice, and for a moment Kate pitied him. She would be heartbroken if Bella no longer loved her. "But I hate that you went through this. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." Never meant to hurt her? This made Kate sneer while Bella shrugged.

"Your apology changes nothing. But don't feel too bad, I can't even remember how he tortured me." This made both Kate and Edward wince. I wish I had been there. I wish I had met you when you were human and protected you, just as you protected me.

A quiet chuckle escaped Rosalie, no doubt entertained by Bella's pettiness. The brunette looked at the blonde and gave her a small smile before Alice spoke up. "That's why we're here, Edward. I had a vision of Bella dying and-"

"You didn't think to tell me?" He growled. He was possessive and protective when he had no right to be. Bella's mine. She doesn't belong to you.

Black eyes glared at her and she smirked in response.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You're the worst kind of dramatic. If we told you, what would you have done?" She challenged. "You would have found some convoluted way to kill yourself or tortured us for the rest of eternity with your misery. Alice told me because she thought I could handle it best."

Edward looked at her incredulously. "She thought you could handle it best?" He chuckled darkly at that. "You're as overprotective as I am. You only did a good job of making Bella feel like she had a choice, and pressured her to choose what would better suit you."

Rosalie's no good for her either. None of them are.

Emmett stepped forward. "You of all people are in no position to lecture anyone about being controlling." He snarled. "You suffocated Bella. She told me herself." Edward looked at Bella in surprise, who looked extremely exasperated.

"Memory. Loss." She spoke slowly as though she were speaking to toddlers. "Let's not argue about how Swan felt. I can't confirm or deny very much, and it's a waste of time." Something hard glinted in gold eyes. "Besides, I won't be here much longer." Bella smiled tersely at Edward. "I'm a Denali now."

"Bella, please-"

"You're no good for me, Edward." She said sharply. "I'm just sorry I let this go on for so long." Her eyes glistened with malice. "I don't want you anymore. You don't belong in my world." The venom in her voice made the mind reader's eyes widen. It sounded personal, and Kate knew she was quoting him.

Alice's eyes widened. "Did you say this to her?" She sounded furious. "This is how you said goodbye?"

I'll kill him. I'll kill him. I'll kill him.

He didn't hear her. He looked at Bella in agony. "Please, I'm sorry-"

But Bella wasn't finished. "But if it's not too much to ask, can you at least promise me something? Don't do anything reckless. For Carlisle's sake. And I'll promise something to you in return." She walked so she stood before him. "When I leave for Alaska is the last time you'll ever see me. I won't come back. And you can go on with your life without any interference from me. It will be like I never existed." She smiled sardonically at him. "I promise."

Kate couldn't remember the last time she felt this livid. And to think, Bella thought her reaction to hearing that was pitiful. Anyone would be crushed to hear that from someone they cared about. Edward made her doubt herself. The effects of his cruel dismissal were still present in how Bella viewed her human self.

She sees human Bella as weak when she was only heartbroken. She hates who she was because that son of a bitch made her feel like she was less.

It sickened her. Edward sickened her.

The mind reader looked away from Bella, his jaw was clenched and his brow furrowed. "I deserve that...I'm sorry I ever made you feel that way." Bella had no response. She remained silent and stared at him for a moment before she snorted and looked away.

Kate felt unbelievably pleased with her mate's vindictiveness. It made her chest burn and a happy sigh escaped her. "Oh, I can't wait to get you alone." Bella had looked so imposing. So strong in her conviction and her condemnation and Kate was so hopelessly in love with her that it was somewhat terrifying. Terrifying and thrilling, just like it's always been.

Bella gave her a look, but a small smile tugged at her lips. "Is now really the time?"

"It's always the time to express my love and attraction to you." Bella's smile turned into a shy one, making the warrior grin broadly at her. "Can you blame me?"

Her mate sighed, but there was only fondness in her voice. "I love you too." She muttered, making the blonde's smile broaden.

Kate glanced at Edward, pleased to see he was suppressing his anger. She thought of all the ways she'd had Bella over the years. With her fingers and mouth. Thinking of how she tasted and how Edward would never know what true love with Bella felt like.

She was careful to keep nudity out of her memories. You don't deserve to see her like that. Bare and vulnerable. Waiting for me to take her. Not you. Never you. But me.

"Katrina…"

"Kate! Please!"

Edward snarled at her. "Stop it!" His eyes looked wild. Possessive in a way that they shouldn't have been. She's mine. She loves me.

"You're my dream girl." Kate thinks of Bella's beautiful smiles and soft laughter.

"Kate!"

"I don't remember loving Edward or anyone else. My love for you is all I've ever known, and the love you've given me is all I can remember."

Edward was seething in rage. "Stop!" The jealousy on his face was so satisfying to see. Today was a good day. A great one.

"You know," she drawled, "I'm glad you have the rule to wait until marriage." Because of you, Bella saved herself for me. We might not have waited until marriage but...perhaps I should thank you.

Edward let out a roar, and Kate couldn't help but laugh as he thrashed against her. "Shut up!"

"You don't get to make demands, boy," Tanya growled. "You're lucky my sisters and I didn't alert the Volturi of your carelessness." He was breathing raggedly, squirming for a moment, and trying to break free but to no avail.

He stopped struggling and closed his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. "I...you're right." He muttered. "I apologize. If anything I deserve this." Edward fixed his gaze on Kate. "You...did you turn her?" He didn't seem as angry anymore. If anything he seemed desperate for answers, and heartbroken by Bella's hostility.

Before she could speak, Irina, of course, made herself known. "That would be me." Her black eyes burned with hatred. "Tanya and I killed Laurent...Bella was…" her voice wavered and she cleared her throat before pressing on. "She wouldn't have survived if I didn't turn her."

He looked up at Irina in surprise before his expression softened. "Thank you. Thank you so much for saving her." He quieted for a moment before looking at his siblings. "I owe you all apologies-"

"Save it." Rosalie snapped. "I didn't trust you with her, I never did. You hurt her and lied to all of us!" She took a threatening step forward. "We had to hear from the mongrels that you left her in the woods. She nearly died of hypothermia, Edward."

The mind reader at least had the decency to look ashamed. "I never wanted for this to happen-"

"Stop talking." Rosalie snapped. "If useless apologies are all you have to contribute then I'd rather not waste any more time."

Kate looked at her sister imploringly. She may have been a poor listener, but Tanya was still the eldest. She was their coven leader, and Kate knew when to be serious and heed her orders. "Go ahead."

Kate grinned before looking back down at Edward. "You need a timeout. Just for a little bit." She snarled and snapped his head clean off his body. Rosalie didn't so much as blink while Alice flinched

"Jesus Christ!" Emmett yelped, making the warrior roll her eyes.

"He'll be fine whenever we choose to reattach his head. He's just in time out for the moment." She then held out her hand. "Would one of my sweet sisters hand me a tree limb?"

Irina sighed. "You can be so barbaric." She got a decently sized branch and threw it to Kate. The blonde snatched it out of the air and thrust it into the ground so it was standing up. She then took Edward's head and rammed it on the top of the branch.

Emmett had left. Despite his anger towards Edward, Kate knew her former friend well. He was a big softie and seeing Edward like that had rattled him. Alice was gone as well. But Kate didn't care. She didn't care because this wasn't about them.

She noticed Bella looking at her with wide eyes and she froze. "I'm...I can take it down I just-" Kate could only recall one time Bella had looked at her in horror. And it was something she vowed to never repeat.

Her mate glanced at the head and then back at her. "No it's not that it's…" her eyes were black and it was Kate's turn to look at her in surprise.

Rosalie spoke before she could ask what caused Bella's reaction. "I'm impressed with how you handled that, Bella." She praised. "I couldn't have done it better myself."

Bella looked at her with a small smirk. "Is this the first time you've complimented me?" Before Rosalie could retort, Bella snapped her fingers. "Oh! You told Swan her beauty would rival yours when she became a vampire. That was very flattering to hear." Despite her teasing manner, Bella's voice sounded off.

Rosalie sighed. "Of course you remember that." A small smile played on her lips. "Well, I'm rarely wrong. That should be evident enough." Kate frowned. Is she flirting with her? Rosalie noticed her frown and gave her a sly smirk in return. "Don't you agree, Kate?" She's trying to rile me up.

The warrior scoffed and wrapped her arms around her mate. "She's the most beautiful woman on earth. Her beauty doesn't compare."

Bella laughed, leaning back in her embrace. "I also think you're pulchritudinous."

Kate's eyes widened. "What?"

Smugness radiated off her mate in waves. "Beautiful."

"Shit." Kate smiled broadly at her. "I...I think you took my breath away." She held her breath, puffing out her cheeks, and making Bella laugh quietly. Her mate puffed out her cheeks and bumped her lips against Kate's, making the two erupt into a fit of laughter. Whatever sadness that had lingered in Bella's eyes had faded away. "Take a walk with me."

Tanya stopped her. "Put Edward around back first. If someone shows up...well, we'd have a bit of explaining to do." Kate rolled her eyes but did as she was told. As she did so Tanya approached the newborn. "Are you alright?"

Irina, of course, wasn't far behind. "You did incredibly, Bella." Kate went back to the front of the house to see both of their sisters crushing Bella into a hug. Kate grinned, squeezing her sisters and mate into a hug and lifting them off the ground as she did so. They complained and squirmed and Bella laughed before Kate set them down.

After promising to not stray far from the house the two left to take a walk. "Not a run?" Bella asked, and Kate gave her a knowing smile.

"No. It's nice to slow down sometimes. I don't like to rush when I'm with you."

Her mate's eyes widened and she gave her a shy smile. "Oh...alright." She reached out and interlaced their fingers. "How do you always know what to say?"

"I learned from you." Kate brought her hand to her mouth and kissed it. "I've also had seventy years to think of wooing you again. I wrote some pickup lines down but-"

Bella gasped in delight. "You didn't!"

"I did!" She enthused before she stopped herself. "First, we should talk about what happened." Bella had a habit of avoiding things that upset her, and Kate didn't want her to agonize over the Edward situation.

Her mate smiled. "Oh, communication, right." She thought for a moment, looking away with a furrowed brow before a sigh escaped her. "I don't know...I guess I feel kind of bad for Edward. It felt good telling him off but he seemed...he did love Swan."

Kate suppressed her scowl and kept her mouth shut so she wouldn't speak out of anger. Her Bella had a big heart, of course she would feel empathy for Edward. And I should be proud of her for actively communicating with me. That's what I wanted, even if her answer isn't the one that I wanted to hear.

"Thank you for being honest with me and feeling comfortable enough to tell me how you feel." Kate smiled at her. "I know this has been difficult for you, but I really appreciate it."

Her mate began tapping her index finger to her thumb, her nervous tic, and Kate reached out to hold her hand steady. "Oh. You're welcome." She said quietly. "Sorry. I like that we do this, but sometimes I feel silly when I say everything out loud." You're not silly you're perfect. But Kate refrains from saying that.

Bella grimaced at her silence. "I don't love him. You know that-"

She laughed and wrinkled her nose. "Ew, I know you don't. Don't be farcical." Her mate rolled her eyes at that but smiled nonetheless. "I don't believe Edward deserves your empathy. When you quoted him...god. I'm so glad I was able to rip his head off." She murmured. "He's terrible. I detest him."

"He's pitiful. I'm not happy with him, and I'm not inclined to forgive him so easily, but...we spoke on the way here." Bella said, "He thought I was Bela. He actually warned me that honeysuckle was a poor gift to give you." She looked thoughtful. "We talked about love and obsession. He seems...not terrible. But, like I said, that doesn't make everything okay between us. He still hurt Swan-"

"He hurt you, Bella." Kate stopped and cupped her cheeks. "You. Not Swan. Not Denali. You."

Bella gave her a sad smile. "Everything's easier when I distance myself from who I was. It makes things less personal. Less heartbreaking." It made perfect sense, but it didn't make Kate feel any less sad.

She sighed and placed her hand over Bella's silent heart. "Sometimes you need to show your teeth. You'll feel better if you do." Bella's eyes watered and Kate leaned closer to her, giving her a light kiss on the lips and then on her forehead. "And when you do, I'll show mine too. We can be aggressive together."

This earned her a quiet laugh. "What if I get angry about something stupid?"

Kate grinned. "Have you met me?" She kissed her nose. "You could get angry about a board game, and I'd be right there with you. I'm your mate, we do everything together." Bella slipped into her arms, holding her tight and resting her head on her shoulder. "Then, later, I'll tell you if you're being silly. But until then, we'll look silly together."

Another laugh escaped her and she kissed Kate's shoulder. "God, I venerate you so much."

The warrior purred. "I love your sexy brain! Pulchritudinous? Venerate? You're prodigious!"

"I have no clue what that means."

"Amazing, Bella! You're amazing! Amazing and sexy and please tell me you're not wearing underwear-"

Bella giggled and wriggled out of her arms. "I tell you I love you and you get horny because I use big words?" A large smile was on her face and Kate made a point of staring at her chest.

"I clearly love you too. And I'm not just horny because of your big words-"

"You're the worst!" Bella laughed, taking off running into the woods. Kate growled playfully and gave chase.

Their laughter echoed through the forest and for a moment all their troubles were forgotten.

---

"Matka?" [Mother?] Sasha looked up to see Katrina shuffling towards her. Her tunic was covered in blood, as was her neck and hands. Red eyes glistened with venom and her voice was shaky. So different compared to her boisterous behavior.

For a moment she saw a child, a heartbroken little girl who needed all her love and care. The blood didn't phase her, but she worried about what it entailed.

Sasha closed her book and made room for Katrina on the bed. Her daughter sat down, and she encircled the warrior in her arms. Katrina buried her face into her shoulder and clutched onto her tightly. She was trembling in her arms, and silent sobs wracked her body.

The older vampire held onto her tighter, resting her chin atop her head and gently rubbing her back. She remained silent, feeling agony for whatever hurt her daughter was experiencing, but unsure of how to soothe her pain.

She wasn't good at comforting, something she resented about herself. There was much she wanted to say to Katrina, but she didn't know how. She prayed to find the words, to find the wisdom her warrior would need to hear.

When her warrior composed herself she pulled away, instinctively rubbing at her eyes and releasing a hollow laugh when she looked at her hands.

"Oh." Red smeared around her eyes and on her cheeks.

Sasha gently took her hands in hers. "Mal by si sa upratať." [You should get cleaned up.] Vaša dcéra príde k vám plače ešte nemáte odvahu čeliť jej? [Your daughter comes to you weeping yet you don't have the courage to face her?]

Sasha entered the house, grabbing her daughter a change of clothes before going back to her. "Chceli by ste mi povedať, čo sa stalo na ceste k rieke?" [Would you like to tell me what happened on the way to the river?]

Katrina nodded, not saying a word as she followed her out of the house. When they arrived Katrina sat there quietly as Sasha cleaned her up. She scrubbed the blood from her neck first, being through as a way to bide time for whatever heartbreak her daughter was about to tell her.

Hovor, ty zbabelec. Potrebuje ťa. [Speak, you coward. She needs you.]

Katrina changed her clothes and tossed her bloodied ones into the river. She looked haunted. Her eyes were dark red and her hands were trembling. Her daughter didn't look all there, it was as though she were somewhere else.

"Co sa stalo?" [What happened?]

Katrina swallowed thickly. "Môj otec...Tomas je mŕtvy. Snažil som sa ho zachrániť ale-" [My father...Tomas is dead. I tried to save him but I-] a choked sob escaped her and she crossed her arms over her chest. Trying to hold herself together as her eyes filled with tears.

Sasha's eyes widened before a sad sigh escaped her. "Moje úbohé dieťa." [My poor baby.] She pulled Katrina to her, holding her close and trying to find the right words. "Chceš sa o tom porozprávať?" [Do you want to talk about it?]

Her daughter clung tightly to her, burying her face into her neck and a soft whimper escaped her. "Nie. Chcem svoju Bela." [No. I want my Bela.] She understands that her daughter wants a distraction. Needs a distraction.

Sasha kissed the top of her head. "Ja viem." [I know.] She murmured before she began to gently rub her back. "Raz som mal syna." [I had a son once.] She doesn't know what compelled her to say it, but it seems to be the distraction that Katrina desired.

"Syn?" [A son?]

"Syn a tri moje vlastné dcéry." [A son and three daughters of my own.] She murmured. "Moje dcéry zostarli, všetky z nich ísť preč a vydávať sa, môj syn...neprešiel okolo detstva." [My daughters grew older, all of them going off and getting married, by my son...he didn't make it past infancy.] She hadn't spoken of him in so long. "Vasilii bol dobrý chlapec. Šťastné dieťa. Veľmi mi chýba." [Vasilii was a good boy. A happy baby. I miss him dearly.]

Katrina looked at her tearfully. "Ako ste sa pohli ďalej?" [How did you move on?]

Sasha felt her own tears rise to the surface. "Neviem, či áno." [I don't know if I have.] She answered truthfully. "Myslím na neho každý deň. Myslím na to, čím mohol byť. Kto by mohol byť." [I think of him every day. I think of what he could have been. Of who he could be.]

"Je mi ľúto." [I'm sorry.]

"Viem, že je ťažké stratiť tých, ktorých milujeme," [I know it's difficult to lose those we love,] Sasha murmured. "Každá spomienka na Vasilii je sfarbená sivou farbou. Každý jeden je tiež smutný. Ale to je to, čo ich robí krásnymi." [Every single memory of Vasilii is colored in grey. Every single one is sad too. But that's what makes them beautiful.]

The words came to her. "Jediný spôsob, ako necítiť bolesť, je nikdy cítiť lásku, a to nie je život stojí za to žiť." [The only way to not feel pain is to never feel love, and that's not a life worth living.] Katrina's bottom lip quivered and Sasha kissed her forehead. "Žijem s bolesťou jeho smrti každý deň, aby som mohol milovať teba a moje ďalšie dcéry, rovnako ako ja." [I live with the pain of his passing every day, so I can love you and my other daughters as much as I can.]

The warrior allowed a small sob to escape her. "Bolesť a smútok...To je cena, ktorú platíme za lásku." [Pain and sadness...that's the price we pay for love.]

The older vampire nodded. "Áno...je to ťažké, ale...Povedal by som, že to stojí za to, nie?" [Yes...it's difficult but...I would say it's worth it, wouldn't you?] Ale bolesť je stále tam. Diera, ktorú po sebe Vasilii zanechal, nebola uzavretá. [But the pain is still there. The hole that Vasilii left behind hasn't been closed.]

Katrina gave her a teary smile. "Tomas miloval ma, ako by som bol naozaj jeden z jeho vlastných." [Tomas loved me as though I was truly one of his own.] She looked down at her damp hands. "Nikdy sa nedozná, čo to znamená pre bastarda." [He'll never know what that means to a bastard.]

Sasha took her hands in hers. "Nie si, Katrina. Si moja dcéra. Si Tomášova dcéra. Nenesú, že titul, nie keď ste tak dobre-miloval." [You are no bastard, Katrina. You are my daughter. You are Tomas's daughter. Do not bear that title, not when you are so well-loved.]

"Nebudem." [I...I won't.] She whispered, releasing her hands to hug her once again. "Ďakujem, matka." [Thank you, Mother.] Katrina pulled away all too soon. "Vasilii...Viem, že sa na teba usmieva z neba." [Vasilii...I know he smiles upon you from heaven.] It was of little comfort, but Sasha loved her all the more for trying.

"Verím, že máš pravdu. A teraz má svoje sestry, aby sa o neho postarali." [I believe you're right. And now he has his sisters to take care of him.] More sadness struck her, and she bit her lip to keep from sobbing.

Ale teraz máš nesmrteľné dcéry. Dcéry, ktoré nikdy neopustia tvoju stranu. [But now you have immortal daughters. Daughters who will never leave your side.]

Katrina's sadness ebbed away. "Teraz nás máš, matka. Dobre sa o teba postaráme." [You have us now, mother. We'll take good care of you.] It was a reflex for her child to rub at her eyes despite the tears being unable to fall. "Viem, že to nie je to isté, ale ... Dúfam, že to bude stačiť." [I know it's not the same but...I hope it's enough.]

Malo by to stačiť. Prečo to nestačí? [It should be enough. Why isn't it enough?]

"Všetci ste viac než dosť. Milujem teba a tvoje sestry viac ako čokoľvek iné. Milujem Bela viac ako čokoľvek iné." [You're all more than enough. I love you and your sisters more than anything. I love Bela more than anything.]

"Ja tiež." [I do too.] Katrina then straightened up. A breathtaking smile spread across her lips and her eyes lit up in excitement. "Bela."

Not a moment later her other daughter appeared. Sasha smiled as Bela and Katrina rushed to greet each other, exchanging hugs and kisses and teasing words. The brunette then pulled away, eyeing Sasha and softening at the sight of her.

"Matka." [Mother.] She sounded relieved. Sasha opened her arms to her and she ran into them. The two embraced tightly, and Sasha knew instantly that something troubled Bela.

Bela clung to her as though she were afraid to let go. "Chýbal si mi," [I missed you,] Sasha murmured, stroking her hair as Bela nuzzled into the crook of her neck.

"Tiež si mi chýbala." [I missed you too.] She croaked, eyes wet with unshed tears. She gave her a warm smile. "Dúfajme, že som nebol preč príliš dlho?" [Hopefully I wasn't away for too long?]

Bela and Irina were her gentlest daughters. Tatyana was mouthy and pretended to be unbothered. Katrina was mouthy as well and acted as a good warrior should. But Irina and Bela were so expressive and honest about how they felt.

"Mesiac. Ale to je pre mňa príliš dlho." [A month. But that's too long for me.] Sasha laughed, kissing her forehead before pulling away. "Niečo ťa trápi?" [Something troubles you?] Bela looked away from her but shook her head and Sasha glanced at Katrina. "Prečo sa nepoznáš so svojím kamošom." [Why don't you speak with your mate.] She gave her shoulder a firm squeeze. "Mohla by ťa teraz naozaj využiť." [She could really use you right now.]

The brunette looked at her in surprise before nodding. "Samozrejme." [Of course.] She then turned to Katrina. "Chceli by ste sa so mnou prejsť?" [Would you like to take a walk with me?]

The warrior looked timid for a moment but moved forward when Sasha gave her an encouraging nod. "Prečo nemôžeme utiecť?" [Why can't we run?] She grumbled, dashing forward, and accepting Bela's outstretched hand.

Bela smiled. "Je pekné niekedy spomaliť. Vezmite si všetko dnu." [It's nice to slow down sometimes. Take everything in.] She gave her a small kiss. "Ne rád sa ponáhľam, keď som s tebou. Ale ak by si sa cítil lepšie, môžeme bežať, ak chceš." [I don't like to rush when I'm with you. But, if it'd make you feel better, we can run if you prefer.]

Katrina's annoyance quickly faded. An uncharacteristic shy smile graced her lips, just as it always did when Bela spoke sweetly to her. "Oh...môžeme ísť pešo." [Oh...we can walk.] She interlaced their fingers. "Môžeme ísť ďaleko?" [Can we walk far?]

"Môžeme ísť tak ďaleko, ako by ste chceli." [We can walk as far as you'd like to.] Sasha smiled as the two waved at her before walking hand in hand into the forest.

She adored them. It had been a long time since she had last seen a mate bond that strong. All bonds were strong but what Bela and Katrina had was impressive.

Her wild child always waited patiently for Bela to reappear. She never grew resentful or bitter. She didn't let her eyes wander or her hands stray. Katrina loved Bela so fully that it almost made Sasha wish she had a mate of her own.

Takmer. [Almost.]

When she arrived home she sighed at the sight of the door ripped from its hinges. Irina je novorodenec silu alebo Katrina novorodenca hnev. [Irina's newborn strength or Katrina's newborn anger.]

"Bola to Irina," [It was Irina,] Tatyana said, stepping out of the house and folding her arms over her chest. "Cítila sa kvôli tomu veľmi zle, tak utiekla do lesa, aby našla spôsob, ako veci napraviť." [She felt very bad about it, so she ran off into the woods to find a way to make things right.]

Sasha frowned. "Nešiel si s ňou?" [You didn't go with her?]

"Nie." [No.]

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Tatyana, ste najstarší-" [Tatyana, you are the eldest-]

"Bela je najstarší." [Bela is the eldest.]

"Nie je tu stále." [She's not here all the time.] Sasha quieted for a moment. "Ak by sa mi niečo stalo, ty by si bol ten, kto by viedol našu spolok." [Should anything happen to me, you would be the one leading our coven.]

Her daughter's eyes widened. "Co-" [What-]

"Musíš sa lepšie starať o svoje sestry. Rozumieš mi?" [You have to take better care of your sisters. Do you understand me?]

She shook her head vehemently. "Nie, nič sa ti nestane." [No, nothing will happen to you.] She said. "Máš mňa, Bela a Katrina a Irina. Nič nedovolíme-" [You have me and Bela and Katrina and Irina. We won't let anything-]

"Tatyana." She snapped, effectively silencing her daughter. "Nevieme, čo prinesie budúcnosť. Ak by sa niečo stalo, musel by som, aby si sa o nich postaral za mňa. Rozumieš?" [We don't know what the future holds. If something were to happen, I'd need you to take care of them for me. Do you understand?]

Red eyes narrowed. "Čo plánuješ?" [What are you planning?]

Nič dobrého. [Nothing good.]

When she didn't answer, her daughter sighed. "Postarám sa o nich. Máš moje slovo." [I'll take care of them. You have my word.]

Sasha nodded, feeling a little better. "A nechal si ich, aby sa o teba postarali. Nebuď tvrdohlavý a vytláčaj ich von. Sľúb mi to." [And you let them take care of you. Don't be stubborn and push them out. Promise me that.]

Tatyana reached out, taking her mother's arm and pulling her into a gentle hug. "Desíš ma...ale sľubujem." [You're scaring me...but I promise.]

Sasha smiled, kissing her temple before moving out of her embrace. "To je moje dievča." [That's my girl.]

Irina came back an hour later with a hammer and nails, and Katrina and Bela returned soon after, both laughing at their younger sister's blunder.

"Viete, ako opraviť dvere?" [Do you know how to fix a door?] Katrina heckled, sounding in a far better mood after having spent more time with Bela.

Irina scowled at her. "Bol som farmár. Tieto ruky poznali calluses a tvrdú prácu." [I was a farmhand. These hands knew calluses and hard labor.] She then crossed her arms over her chest. "Neviem, ako opraviť dvere," [I don't know how to fix a door,] Tatyana and Katrina laughed at that. "Ale to neznamená, že nemôžem." [But that doesn't mean I can't.]

Bela moved to her side, placing an arm around her shoulders and giving her a reassuring smile. "Viem, že to dokážeš, Rina. Chcete, aby som vám pomohol?" [I know you can do it, Rina. Would you like me to help?]

The youngest vampire beamed at her. "Áno prosím!" [Yes please!]

"Vlastne neviem, ako opraviť dvere," [I don't actually know how to fix a door,] Bela confessed. "Ale aké ťažké to môže byť? Si veľmi chytrý a schopný. Som si istý, že odovznáme skvelú prácu." [But how hard can it be? You're very smart and capable. I'm sure we'll do a great job.] Irina preened at the praise and laid her head on her shoulder.

"Aj ty si múdry! A veľmi pekné." [You're smart too! And very nice.] She added the last part sheepishly, making Bela laugh.

"Keď máte sestry ako Tatyana a Katrina, som si istý, že mať priateľskejší jeden je pekná zmena." [When you have sisters like Tatyana and Katrina, I'm sure having a friendlier one is a nice change.]

Tatyana narrowed her eyes. "Som priateľský." [I'm friendly.]

"Áno, ak chceš mať s niekým." [Yeah, if you want to have sex with someone.]

Katrina frowned. "Som k nej určite milšia ako k Tatyana." [I'm definitely nicer to her than I am to Tatyana.]

"Lož!" [A lie!] The eldest sister laughed. "Len včera sa priznala, že ma miluje-" [Just yesterday she confessed that she loved me-]

"Drž hubu! Povedal som ti to v súkromí!" [Shut up! I told you that in private!] Katrina shouted, anger dissipating when Bela cooed at how sweet she was. This made her straighten up and put on a cocky smile. "No, tiež milujem Irinu, pretože je to moja malá sestra. A dobre sa o ňu postarám, keď budeš preč." [Well, I also love Irina because she's my baby sister. And I take good care of her when you're gone.]

Bela looked at Sasha for confirmation and she nodded. "Nie je k nej tak milá ako ty, ale stará sa o ňu najlepšie, ako vie." [She's not as sweet to her as you are, but she takes care of her the best she knows how.] Irina looked bashful at the attention being on her, and Bela reached out, tucking Katrina beneath her free arm and kissing her and Irina on their cheeks.

"Som rád!" [I'm glad!] Katrina and Irina lit up at the praise. Katrina because she valued Bela's opinion and love more than anyone else's, aside from Sasha's, and Irina because she and Bela were close. Her youngest often doubted if she was well suited to being one of them, but Sasha and Bela were always quick to put her at ease.

"Mal som pocit, že niečo chýba predtým, ako sme ťa našli," [I felt like something was missing before we found you,] Sasha had told her. "A teraz si neviem predstaviť život bez teba." [And now I can't imagine a life without you in it.] And she had spoken truthfully. Though there was still something missing in her life.

Syn. Vasilii. [A son. Vasilii.]

But that would be dangerous. Having a grown male within her group of daughters could lead to unpredictable outcomes and unseen consequences. It would change their dynamic, and Sasha feared it wouldn't be for the better.

Most male vampires were smitten with her or her girls. One persistent one, Garrett, was English. Tatyana couldn't stand his accent, Irina was uncomfortable with his presence, and the man had constantly hounded Katrina for a time.

He was harmless enough. Only flirting and never touching. In some ways, he reminded her of Tatyana, especially when it came to flirting. Katrina detested him but allowed him to stick around, only so she could learn the language of her mate.

Luckily he wasn't around when Bela was, but she knew that wouldn't last for long.

Turning a grown man wasn't ideal, but she still wanted a son. Možno by som mohol ... nie. Ne otázkou." [Maybe I could...no. Out of the question.]

It unnerved her that she had so much as entertained the idea whatsoever. Mám všetko, čo som kedy mohol chcieť so svojimi dievčatami. Prečo to nestačí? [I have all I could ever want with my girls. Why is it not enough?]

Tatyana's loud snort drew her attention. "Katrina spôsob, ako sa postarať o Irinu, zahŕňa boj s ňou." [Katrina's way of taking care of Irina involves fighting her.] Katrina bared her teeth at Tatyana playfully while she continued. "Dávam našej sestre vynikajúcu vzťahovú radu." [I give our baby sister excellent relationship advice.]

Irina looked mortified while Bela laughed and Katrina rolled her eyes. "Učím ju, ako sa brániť, zatiaľ čo vy ju naučíte správny spôsob, ako šíriť nohy." [I teach her how to defend herself while you teach her the proper way to spread her legs.]

Sasha fixed the warrior with a stern look. "Dávajte pozor, aby ste nezavedli skutočný boj. Vaša sestra si môže užívať s viacerými ľuďmi." [Do be careful not to start a real fight. Your sister is allowed to enjoy sex with multiple people.]

Katrina winced. "Len sa ju snažím podpichovať. Nechcem byť nezdvorilý." [I'm only trying to tease her. I don't mean to be rude.] She dislodged herself from Bela, as though no longer feeling worthy to be close to her mate. Sasha sighed and beckoned to her, smiling slightly as Katrina rushed into her arms.

"Ja viem. Ale každý interpretuje veci inak. Nechceš jej ublížiť." [I know. But everyone interprets things differently. You don't want to actually hurt her feelings.] She stroked the warrior's hair and Katrina nodded.

"Budem viac...delikátna, keď hovorím." [I'll be more...delicate when I speak.] She promised.

Tatyana looked at the two in surprise before she laughed. "Myslíš, že by mohla ublížiť mojim pocitom, matka?" [You think she could hurt my feelings, mother?] She then smirked at Katrina. "Zvádzanie je umenie, drahá sestra, jedno na teba očividne stratilo." [Seduction is an art, dear sister, one clearly lost on you.] She then jutted her thumb at Bela. "Jediné, čo musíte urobiť, je povedať slovo a Bela je viac než ochotný-" [All you have to do is say the word and Bela is more than willing to-]

"Prečo som do toho zapletený?" [Why am I involved in this?] Bela squeaked, scowling as Tatyana smirked at her.

"Pretože sa o to snažím." [Because I'm proving a point.] She answered simply. "Katrina ti len povie, čo chce a ty to urobíš. Je to milé, ale úbohé. Nie je tu žiadna naháňačka!" [Katrina merely tells you what she wants and you do it. It's cute but pathetic. There's no chase!] Sasha smiled fondly at her eldest. She was good at getting everyone out of their own heads. Tatyana had softened over the years thanks to Katrina.

When Bela was gone the warrior had often been beside herself with grief until Tatyana began to comfort her. She would keep her distracted, she would keep things light and fun to cheer her younger sister up. Sasha loved that. She loved the change Katrina and Bela had brought into their lives.

Katrina looked at her older sister with a frown. "Veľa naháňam Bela!" [I chase Bela plenty!"]

Sasha blinked. "Katrina."

Irina giggled behind her hand while Bela pinched the bridge of her nose and Tatyana grinned. "Viem, že áno. Ale hovorím o zvádzanie, hlúpa sestra, nie fyzicky naháňa ju ako nejaký barbar." [I know you do. But I'm talking about seduction, stupid sister, not physically chasing her like some barbarian.]

Bela was quick to speak up. "Páči sa mi, keď ma naháňa ako barbara." [I like it when she chases me like a barbarian.] Katrina smiled widely at her while Tatyana rolled her eyes.

"Viem, že áno. Pretože vy idioti ste boli pre seba." [I know you do. Because you idiots were made for each other.]

Irina, to Sasha's surprise, spoke up before Katrina did. "Bela je veľmi inteligentný!" [Bela is very intelligent!]

Bela beamed at her and kissed the top of her head while Katrina looked at her in disbelief. "A ja nie som?" [And I'm not?] Irina's eyes widened and she shrunk into the brunette's side.

Tatyana burst out laughing while Bela defended her. "Nemyslela tým, že nie si. Len si jej nenechal dokončiť vetu." [She didn't mean you weren't. You just didn't let her finish her sentence.]

Irina straightened and nodded enthusiastically. "Presne! Nenechal si ma dokončiť! Ste tiež veľmi inteligentný!" [Exactly! You didn't let me finish! You're also very intelligent!] She shot Bela a grateful smile, making the warrior groan in annoyance and her eldest daughter laugh.

Sasha thought it was somewhat strange how close the two were. Bela acted like a proper big sister but doted on Irina much like a maker did their newborn.

Mali spojenie, keď sa prvýkrát stretli. Ale Béla tvrdil, že to bolo založené len na podobnosti tváre. [They had a connection when they first met. But Bela claimed it was only based on facial similarities.]

She wondered what her brown-haired daughter was hiding. There was obviously much more happening than she ever let on, and Sasha wasn't stupid. When Bela had first seen Tatyana she had been stunned, she even let her guard down for a moment as though she knew her. The two of them had gotten along instantly, after her eldest stopped flirting with Bela, and their relationship had only strengthened over time.

Bela spoke to Tatyana and Irina as though she had known them prior to their actual meeting. She always knew what to say and how to act. She knew how to get Irina more involved and would do what she could to strengthen her relationship with Tatyana and Katrina.

Naučiť ich kliatbe v inom jazyku im dalo niečo spoločné. Dalo im to niečo na smiech. [Teaching them to curse in another language gave them something to have in common. It gave them something to laugh about.]

Luckily their closeness hadn't aggravated Katrina, much to Sasha's surprise. She'd roll her eyes and grumble at times but no jealousy rose to the surface. Bela had done a good job with her continual insistence that Tatyana and Irina were their sisters, not only Katrina's.

She had spaced out long enough that she didn't realize all her daughters were wrapped up in a large hug. Katrina reached out to her. "No tak, matka, pridaj sa k objatia." [Come on, mother, join the hug.] Sasha chuckled and grabbed her hand.

The five of them embraced. It felt ridiculous, and Katrina squeezed them far too tightly, but for a moment her heart was completely full.

"Už to nikdy nerobíme," [We are never doing this again,] Tatyana complained while Irina laughed.

"Páči sa mi to. Je to pekné." [I like this. It's nice.]

Bela sighed. "Katrina, to by mala byť tvoja ruka." [Katrina, that better be your hand.]

"Je to tak!" [It is!] The warrior cheerfully replied, earning a quiet laugh from her mate.

"Si najhorší." [You're the worst.]

Sasha scowled. "Prosím, správajte sa slušne. Dobrý Bože." [Please behave yourself. Good Lord.]

Katrina had the decency to sound embarrassed. "Prepáč." [Sorry.]

"Ja som tiež. Toto objatie je smiešne." [I am too. This hug is ridiculous.] Tatyana grumbled, but they all noticed her embrace tighten ever so slightly. She loved her daughters with everything she had. Of that she was certain.

Ale niečo tu chýba. Vasilii. [But there's something missing. Vasilii.]

Sasha cleared her throat, gathering her daughters' attention. "Ako sladké a vtipné, ako je to, bolo mi povedané, že Bela a Irina sa chystá opraviť moje dvere." [As sweet and funny as this is, I was told that Bela and Irina were going to fix my door.]

Irina gave her a sheepish smile. "Oh! Samozrejme, mami, hneď sa do toho dostaneme!" [Oh! Of course, mother, we'll get right on that!] Bela nodded vigorously and the two got to work.

In the end, Irina had accidentally ripped the door in half, and with a hasty hammering of many nails, it was crudely put back together. There were still holes in the wood. Places where it was no longer smooth but jagged and splintery. Some of the nails jutted out, a hazard to anything that wasn't a vampire, and it was crooked when put back on the doorframe.

Tatyana and Katrina had laughed at them, but Bela looked proud of their work and had praised Irina for doing such a good job.

Her youngest looked at her worriedly. Awaiting her reaction with bated breath, and to Sasha's surprise, she saw the same fearful look on Bela's face. The fear of rejection and anger and disappointment.

Bela was tapping her index finger to her thumb rapidly. She was barely able to maintain eye contact with her before she was looking down at her feet. Whoever had made her daughter so fearful, she vowed to gut them should they ever meet.

Sasha stared at the door that no longer shut all the way. The door that was full of holes and missing pieces and jagged nails and splintered wood. The door that had meant so little to her before, yet felt so important to her now.

A large smile spread across Sasha's lips and she looked at her daughters. "Je to perfektné." [It's perfect.]

---

"And then, you froze and thought that Ed Edd and Eddy couldn't see us." Emmett laughed. "You army-crawled into the kitchen, it was actually pretty impressive. It was the most athletic thing I've ever seen you do!"

Bella laughed, but her heart wasn't in it, not really. With Edward's return, she worried about what else could follow. Who else could follow?

She was surprised by how little his arrival impacted her. It probably helps that I haven't seen a memory of him.

He was beautiful and soft-spoken. Easily annoyed but he had a strange, gentle disposition. When she looked at him she didn't see a manipulative liar, at least, he didn't seem to intentionally act that way. She saw a self-pitying vampire that regretted the choice he made.

He hates himself so much it's a wonder he's still alive. Bella pitied him more than anything. His self-loathing was pathetic, and she found his personality to be wanting.

Yet there still burned an intense anger when she thought of him. She would be damned if she let that anger go so easily. I don't remember how badly he hurt me, but I've seen Swan's heartbreak. She felt as though she owed it to her past self to act accordingly.

On top of that, she had figured out a plan on how to approach Charlie. She had virtually no memories of him. She had been working on her self-control around human blood, going as close to the highway with her mate and sisters to see if she could manage to hold her breath and go without trying to taste their blood.

Bella did fairly well. Her tasting of human blood had been accidental, and she was pleased that it hadn't caused any major setbacks. It had been but a minor inconvenience. But she was still stressed about the entire ordeal.

"Now we wait!" Esme's chipper voice made her grimace.

No. Not you. Not now.

"Hey, you alright?"

She blinked, looking up at Emmett and nearly flinching when she saw something move behind him.

"We could watch a movie," Swan suggested, and Bella's eyes widened when she saw Swan and Esme enter the kitchen.

Bella knew it wasn't really them. They were both ghostly in appearance, looking nearly see-through. Both of them were faded in the way that old memories were. Faded in the way that discarded memories were.

Bella stood up without a word and followed the two into the kitchen.

"Uh, Bella?" Emmett's concern was unintentionally ignored. Bella truly didn't hear him.

Past Esme stood by the stove next to Swan, who was fiddling awkwardly with her fingers and struggling to stand still.

She couldn't make out Esme's face that well, but she could see the reassuring smile she gave Swan.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Swan gave a stiff smile in return. "There's so many of them. Which one?"

Esme reached into her pocket and pulled out a penny. "How about...the one that's making you look so nervous."

A surprised laugh escaped Swan, and she accepted the penny with a shake of her head. "You actually had a penny. You're either taking notes from Emmett or Alice."

"Carlisle, actually. That's how he gets through to some of his younger patients."

Bella noticed Swan tense at the word 'patients' before she relaxed. The girl shoved the penny into her pocket before giving her a small shrug. "I know you say you're proud of me but...I'm still worried about screwing this up."

Esme gently cupped her cheeks in her hands. "Bella, I love you. There's nothing to screw up." Bella felt her eyes burn.

Swan's bottom lip quivered and she trembled as tears slid down her face. "You don't get it. My own mom didn't even want me. When I became too much of a burden she sent me here and...you're perfect and I can't screw this up."

Bella's hands curled into fists, eyes narrowing as Esme embraced Swan tightly. "Oh, sweet girl." She breathed, sounding choked up as she spoke. "Renee didn't know how to be a mother. That isn't your fault." Swan buried her face into her shoulder and Esme began to stroke her hair. "Everything you do makes me so proud. Your art, culinary skills, the way you love my family...even when they're hard to love."

"Stop," Bella growled, skin pricking with irritation as she watched the scene unfold.

Esme pulled back and wiped Swan's tears away. "Alice and Rosalie don't have many friends and none that are human. The way you've touched their hearts is so beautiful." She pressed a tender kiss to her forehead and Bella's vision blurred. "You don't shy away from Jasper, and that means the world to him. You put up with Emmett's antics and he loves you so much for that."

"Bella?" Emmett's voice nearly dragged her from the memory, but Esme kept talking.

"Carlisle and I agree that you make this family better. With you, it feels complete. Bella, I already see you as one of my own."

The agony was unbearable. And Bella couldn't help but squeeze her eyes shut. "Please...just stop. I'm done." She had seen enough, more than enough. Bella moved quickly out of the kitchen, eyes open and no longer staring at the ghostly figures of Swan and Esme.

"And you make Edward so happy. I know he can be difficult-"

Bella brushed past Emmett and slapped her hands over her ears. "Stop! I said I was done!"

"But he was so empty before you came into his life. I think we all were a little empty before you showed up."

Swan sounded surprised in her response. "Edward...he was empty before me?"

"He was so unhappy. So hopeless. It's been nice to see him smile again, and we have only you to thank."

Bella's eyes widened at this.

"Oh...making your children happy...that makes you happy," Swan murmured.

"You make me happy, Bella. The love my children have for you, and the love you have for them is only a bonus."

But the damage had been done, and Bella knew that.

Renee dumped us when she got tired of us. Swan didn't have a mother until Esme, and she was willing to do whatever it took to keep her. Bitterness filled her and she snarled. Look where that got us, Swan. She still left.

It wasn't intentional. Bella was mad at Esme, furious, even, but she knew that she had spoken thoughtlessly. There was no grand plan to keep her tied to Edward...right?

"Loving your children is easy." Swan boasted before she paused and cleared her throat. "When I'm a vampire...Rose and Edward don't like the idea. If I became one...would that bother you?"

A gentle laugh escaped Esme. "I'll love you no matter what you are. But...spending an eternity with you does sound nice. What do you think?"

"Shut up!" Bella yelled, pressing her hands tighter to her ears. "Just shut up!"

"Bella!" Emmett's worried voice came from behind her. "What's wrong? How can I help?" She was too far gone. She didn't even notice some of the other vampires were trickling into the room.

"An eternity. That's a long time. Sure you won't get tired of me?" It was an insecurity that was poorly veiled as a joke.

"Alice and Emmett already consider you to be their sister." Esme hummed. "And I already consider you to be my daughter."

A large, heavy hand rested on her shoulder and she straightened. Instinctively she flinched away from it. Panic shot through her and she felt something in her mind snap as she put her hands up defensively.

The Cullens, along with Eleazar and Carmen, had entered the room and were staring at her with varying degrees of worry. I didn't even know they were here. The Denali sisters were out patrolling, and she wished more than anything that she had gone with them.

Bella blinked, breathing heavily when she realized that the hand had belonged to Emmett. He looked crushed, ashamed, and she hadn't realized she activated her shield until Rosalie gently knocked on it.

"Bella? It's alright. It's just us."

She let the shield fall away and frowned. "Sorry, Emmett. I was just...I didn't realize it was you."

He looked away from her. "No, I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to freak you out, I really didn't."

Bella was surprised by how serious he was taking it, and she shook her head. "No, you're fine. I don't know why I reacted like that." He looked ready to argue but she sighed and turned away from him. "I'm going to find the three musketeers."

She didn't want to hear Esme. She didn't want anything to do with Esme. Only her mate and sisters would be able to cheer her up properly.

"It's dangerous out there, you shouldn't go alone." Carmen said, "I'll go with you if you'd like." Oh no. Bella recognized the motherly role that Carmen played, and she wanted no part of that.

"No." She snapped, sounding harsher than she meant to. All eyes were on her, and rather than look upset by her outburst, Carmen looked amused. It was as though she knew how Bella would react.

She didn't want to be mean to Carmen. Carmen was nice and her mate and sisters loved her deeply. She knew she would grow to love her, but she couldn't love her the way Swan had loved Esme.

You keep separating yourself from Swan as though there's really a difference. The pain was there, and she felt the love and fear that lingered whenever she heard Esme's voice. The only difference is that my memories are gone. But Swan never left.

That worried her. The possibility of ever seeing Esme again worried her.

"Alright, I don't have to go with you," Carmen kept her voice calm as she spoke. "I would still prefer if you took someone with you." I don't care what you prefer. Bella felt like a child for her own petulance, but she couldn't do this again.

I have Sasha. Her brow furrowed and she shook her head. "Fine. Alice can take me." Even though Sasha's not here now, I still have the past. A sliver of dread filled her and she didn't even notice she had begun tapping her thumb against her index finger. I have her in the past...but for how long?

"I can go with you guys." Emmett volunteered. "It would be better to have two vampires instead of one."

To Bella's surprise, Alice gave him a tight smile. "I think Bella and I can handle it just fine."

Her brother shrugged his broad shoulders. "With all due respect, Al, you're not very strong. I should tag along, just in case. We shouldn't take any risks." There was an edge to his voice. An unspoken insult.

The seer's eyes narrowed. "Some of us don't need to rely on brute strength to be able to hold our own. Some of us rely on our intelligence."

"Intelligence?" Emmett bared his teeth at her. "Care to elaborate?"

Bella took a subconscious step back, making Emmett straighten up and hide his teeth in an instant. He looked like a kicked puppy. He looked as though he was berating himself, and for what, Bella couldn't be sure. "I don't know what's going on between you two but-"

"What the hell is your problem?" Rosalie demanded, making Alice roll her eyes.

"I don't have a problem. Emmett does."

Eleazar looked exasperated. "Please, let's not do this. Bella just experienced something that was distressing. We shouldn't exacerbate it by arguing amongst ourselves."

Rosalie scowled at him. "She's not some wilting flower, Eleazar." She snarked.

"Don't yell at him." Carmen stepped in front of her mate, who tried and failed to calm her. "He's only trying to help her."

Rosalie's eyes widened slightly and she sighed before relaxing her posture. "You're right. I'm sorry. That came off wrong." She then walked up to Bella and held out her hand to her. "I don't want to coddle you...but I also don't want to mitigate whatever you experienced. Emotions are...difficult. Sometimes talking about it helps, sometimes it doesn't." Bella gingerly accepted her hand. "Are you alright?"

Paul's voice slipped into her mind. "If we wanna get out of here, we have to lie our asses off." He sounded younger. "They'll keep us locked in here if we tell the truth."

"I'm not good at lying." A timid, younger Bella responded.

"Well, you better get good. At least be convincing. And stop talking to them out loud. You sound fucking crazy."

Bella blinked. I knew Paul as a kid, we were trapped somewhere together. She wondered if it was the same place her mother had dropped her off at. That would make sense. But where were we?

"Bella?" Rosalie's voice brought her back.

Bella gave her hand a gentle squeeze and smiled at her. "I feel better, thank you." But she didn't, and she wouldn't until she was with Kate again.

"Who was it?" Alice asked voice soft and her brow pinched with worry. She noticed Emmett narrow his eyes at his sister. What's that about?

"It was...Esme." Bella muttered, giving a half-hearted shrug. "I can't...I just...it's stupid."

Emmett regarded her with wide eyes. "Esme bothers you that much? She loved you–"

Bella snarled at him. "You said it yourself. Loved." He looked stunned by her aggression but she didn't care. Everything was making her angry.

The largest Cullen winced. "She didn't want to leave."

Something in her snapped.

Bella pulled away from Rosalie and shook her head. "All of you have said that, but in the end, you all left. So tell me, who actually voted to stay?" She demanded.

"I did." Emmett shot back. "So did Rose…" he clenched his jaw. "We can't speak for everyone else. It isn't our place. But know that we fought for you."

Alice's silence spoke volumes. Bella couldn't even bring herself to look at her friend, too scared to see the truth in her eyes.

"Deceptive leeches. Every last one of them." A new voice growled, and Bella felt her lips curl back in a sneer.

"You fought for me? What does that even mean?"

Emmett's frustration grew, she could see it in his locked jaw and tensed shoulders. It put her on edge for reasons she couldn't explain. He wouldn't attack me. He wouldn't. But it did little to put her at ease. "It means that we fought to stay here. We fought to be with you."

Her eyes burned with angry tears. "What good did that do? I'm still dead and I don't even fucking remember you!" Hurt flashed in his eyes but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Emmett kept pushing and she couldn't handle it. He was nice and funny but extremely overbearing and it only added to her frustration.

She didn't know why she was so angry, or why she was bringing this up now. Ease up, Swan. You're a Denali now, and we aren't supposed to be angry with the Cullens. But she was.

I tried so hard to suppress these feelings. Now she felt herself coming undone. She was spiraling and she didn't know why. Why now?

"Bella." A gentle hand touched her shoulder, and her body instantly relaxed. The touch was soothing. Familiar. "You have every reason to be angry with them, but let's calm down." Carmen.

The time traveler shrugged her hand off her shoulder and bared her teeth. "I'm perfectly calm."

To her surprise, Carmen met her glare with her own. "Lie to someone who will believe you. You're acting very much like a newborn."

"Shocker."

"Watch it, niña," Carmen warned. "You can't talk to me however you want and expect no pushback. I'm not Esme." Bella was all too aware that Carmen wasn't Esme.

"You're also not my mom. Stop lecturing me!"

Carmen's eyes softened and she reached out, cupping Bella's face in her hands. "Gracias a Dios no soy tu biológica madre. Usted se merece algo mejor, mi dulce niña." [Thank God I'm not your birth mother. You deserve so much better, my sweet girl.]

Her touch was comforting. Familiar. And it frightened her. Bella didn't know what she said, but she knew it still broke her heart to hear. I can't do this. Not again.

"Stop." She breathed, pulling away and turning her back to the older woman. "Just stop it." Carmen stepped back to give her space, falling into Eleazar's arms and averting her gaze.

"What do you need?" Alice's voice made her tense up. Alice voted to leave, I know that...I knew that...right? Everything was overwhelming. It was all too much.

"I need space. You're all fucking smothering me!" Bella growled, storming out of the house and into the woods. Space. I need space. I need to get away, if only for a little while.

"Bella."

"Fuck off!"

"No! I'm not leaving you alone! It's not safe out here!"

"I don't care, Rose! I want Kate! I'll find her and she'll take care of me. Just go away!" Kate always made things better. Kate made her feel bolder. She made her feel brave. She makes me feel loved. In her arms, she'd be safe.

Rosalie grabbed her wrist and she growled lowly at her. "You're incredibly stupid if you think I'm going to let you go alone." Bella faced her, surprised to see that Rosalie's eyes were soft in a way that her voice wasn't. "When you were human...I was good at taking care of you. Please, just let me…" she trailed off, slipping her hand from her wrist to her hand.

Good at taking care of me? The implication that there were other instances where Rosalie cared for Swan wasn't lost on her.

Bella looked at their hands for a moment, unsure of what to say. "I...why are you doing this?"

Rosalie bared her teeth at her. "Because you're my friend, you dolt. And I care about you."

"You can't act one way towards someone and insist you feel a different way." Jasper's voice made her skin crawl. "Rose likes you, I know that for certain, but that doesn't mean she can talk to you however she wants. Only you can put a stop to that."

Stay out of my head.

Bella's eyes burned with unshed venom and she stared at their hands. "I don't get you. I hear how you talked to Swan-"

"Bella-" it was a warning, one she didn't heed.

"You were so cruel to her, and you can be cruel to me but…" she tore her gaze from their hands. "You're also kind to us and insist you care." Bella saw it. A flicker of fear filled her gold eyes, and Rosalie looked as though she wanted to run. "So which is it?"

Rosalie withdrew from her, looking like a cornered animal as she hunched her shoulders. "What, now you choose to grow a pair and attack people who have only wanted to help you?"

This was wrong. She didn't want to talk to the mean and catty Rosalie. She wanted to talk to the one that was gentle with her. She wanted to talk to the Rosalie that put her at ease and explained herself, just as she had earlier. Not the one that attacked her for asking questions.

Why is she acting like this towards me?

Why am I letting her?

It felt like an out of body experience. A sharp laugh escaped her. Her voice was tenuous, unsettling. Bella didn't know where her outburst was coming from. Yes, you do. You've been avoidant and you can't take it anymore.

"There it fucking is!" She snarled, curling her hands into fists. "I didn't ask for your help! I didn't even fucking remember you until you showed up!"

"Don't do that," Rosalie warned, standing tall. "You can't weaponize your memory loss against me. I'm not Emmett. You heard my voice. You knew me. You cared about me before you even had your first memory of us." Triumph and mockery sparked in her eyes. "You cared about me the moment you heard my voice."

Bella gritted her teeth, crossing her arms over her chest and inwardly cursing herself. She knew she couldn't refute that point. Good thing she didn't have to. "Why did you bother showing up? I know you hated me at first-"

"I never hated you!" Bella's eyes widened as Rosalie squeezed her eyes shut. "Jesus, Bella. I know I'm a bitch, but I'm trying, okay? I want to be better."

"Better? That's what this is? Being nice to me one moment and mean to me the next? That's what 'better' is to you? I'm getting whiplash, Rose."

Gold eyes opened. "Do you think I like being like this? Like..." She trailed off, the fear returned in her eyes before they glossed over. Now they were devoid of emotion. Rosalie wore her mask of indifference well. "I don't have to explain myself to you. No matter what you are, or who you become, you'll always be that blundering girl that we took in out of pity."

Bella took a step back, body trembling as Rosalie looked at her with wide eyes. There it is. The truth.

"I love you, Bella." Edward's voice was so sweet but sounded so unbelievably cruel at that moment.

"You react to our kind very strangely," Carlisle marveled. "Not many humans behave as you do."

"You're our favorite, clumsy human," Emmett chuckled.

"And what's this?" Victoria laughed darkly. "You keep a pet human with you? I hope she's at least house trained."

"I'm not surprised that they left you." A new voice mocked. His voice made her eyes widen slightly in panic. There was a thick french accent that accompanied it, along with malice and underlying threats. "We vampires tire easily of our toys."

"Bella, I didn't mean that." Rosalie reached for her but she jerked away, eyes burning with unshed venom. That's what I was to them. A pet. A thing of amusement that they grew bored of.

"You're right. You don't have to explain yourself." She was so tired of being hurt. She wanted to hurt back. She wanted to be the one to walk away feeling indifferent. "I already know who you are. You're a user. You left Swan and came back to verify if she was dead." Bella smiled blithely at her. "You didn't come back for her because you didn't care. You came back for a corpse. You came back to make sure the loose ends were tied up."

"No, I...is that what you think?" Rosalie sounded pained, desperate, even. It was as though she was grasping at straws. Unsure of what to say but trying to refrain from further agitating Bella. The newborn nearly cracked at the hurt in her friend's voice.

"You want to know what I think? I think you used Swan as an ego boost. Another human to fawn over you and make you feel superior." That did it. Rosalie's jaw clenched and her eyes glistened with unshed venom. But Bella wasn't finished. "You're selfish. You don't give a shit about anyone that's not a Cullen, so don't start now. I'm a Denali. I always have been." She sneered, turning away from the heartbroken look she was given. "You should go. Take Emmett and Alice and Edward with you. I want nothing to do with your family."

She made a move to leave when Rosalie grabbed her wrist. "I know I screwed up, and I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it, you have to believe me." How can I, when I know you're right? Swan was pitiful.

"Go back to London."

"I'm not leaving you. Not again."

Bella's bottom lip quivered, but she refused to face the blonde. "I don't want your damned pity."

Rosalie's eyes watered. "Bella-"

"Fuck. You."

"Please, just listen." Her voice was shaky, remorseful, but it didn't make the newborn feel any better.

Bella glared at the hand still wrapped around her wrist. "I'm tired of listening, Rosalie!" She ripped her wrist from her grasp. "You should be grateful. That blundering human is dead, and your ego is still intact." Bella sneered before vanishing into the woods, flinching at the frustrated scream Rosalie emitted.

"Fuck! Fine! Go! But I'm not leaving you! Do you hear me!" She screamed before slamming her fist into a tree. The newborn had never seen Rosalie so emotive before. She had never seen her so angry.

But that didn't matter. None of it mattered. Alice voluntarily left. Rosalie confirmed what Bella had always known to be true.

Bella bared her teeth but offered no response, running faster to find Kate and her sisters.

She was bogged down by the events this morning. Esme. Emmett. Carmen. Rosalie. Alice. All the arguments and the anger. The memory of Esme and the fight with Rosalie, in particular, rattled her. At least I know how she really feels.

"Don't be stupid." She grumbled to herself. "You know she didn't mean what she said. You know that." Does it matter if she meant it or not? Jasper was right. I can't let her talk to me like that. "Even if she didn't mean it," she slowed her run to a walk, and her eyes burned with unshed tears. "It still hurt." Even if she didn't mean it, she still sounded like she did.

A part of her wondered if Rosalie had been speaking truthfully. A larger part of her didn't want to contemplate the answer. Do what you do best, Denali. Avoid until you can't take it anymore. Be a people pleaser until you explode because of your bottled up feelings. That worked out great the last time.

It felt like an eternity until she found the three Denali's she needed the most. They were relatively far from the house, much to her relief.

Tanya pursed her lips at the sight of her. "Why are you alone? It's not safe." She scolded. "We were almost finished here. Someone should have come with you to ensure your safety." She then shook her head. "Eleazar and Carmen have one job..." she then frowned. "I'll have a talk with them when we return home."

Bella winced at that but said nothing. She didn't want to reveal that she had squabbled with everyone and stormed out of the house like a petulant child.

Irina looked happy to see her but also contemplative. "You should be more careful...but I'm always happy to see you."

Kate pushed past her, earning her a fond eye roll from her little sister. "Not as happy as I am to see you!" Relief sunk into her bones, and Bella gave her mate a watery smile before the warrior rushed towards her.

The time traveler opened her arms, and a breathless laugh escaped her when Kate tackled her to the ground. The blonde straddled her, cupping her cheeks in her hands and peppering her face with kisses.

Kate pulled away, brow furrowed in worry as she gently stroked her cheek with her thumb. "Are you alright?" She didn't want to think about what a wreck this morning had been.

I shouldn't bring up the fights, especially the one with Rosalie. The last thing she wanted was to make everything worse between Kate and Rosalie.

Her fight with Rosalie was an intense one. One that she'd prefer to stay between them. I said terrible things to her. And she said terrible things to me. She wasn't proud of how she responded to Rosalie, but she didn't want to dwell on it. Not now. Not when she was with Kate and Tanya and Irina.

Bella's mood elevated just by being near her mate. "I'm much better now."

Sometimes she envied Kate's ability to move forward. Katrina had spoken of her deceased father. She had been heartbroken and sobbing and Bella had comforted her as best she could. When they returned home her mate had acted like Tomas wasn't dead. She was playful and happy now that she got the tears out of her system.

Meanwhile, I get hung up on Esme and a family that I never truly belonged to. She wished she could be as strong as Kate was. She wished she had the strength to bounce back as quickly as she did.

Kate searched her eyes, deciding not to push further, much to Bella's relief. "Outstanding. I missed you!" Her large smile was infectious, and Bella's own smile mirrored it.

She loved how openly affectionate Kate was with her. Her warrior loved her loudly and was always so proud to be by her side. That meant everything to her.

A quiet laugh escaped Bella as she brushed blonde strands of hair from her mate's face. "I missed you too."

Irina and Tanya approached them. The eldest Denali rolled her eyes fondly at the two while Irina smiled at both of them.

"She was miserable without you, Bella." Irina chuckled while Tanya sighed.

"It's been twenty minutes."

Kate shot her a glare. "Twenty minutes of pure agony. You wouldn't understand, succubus."

"You know, I'm tired of the slut-shaming." Tanya huffed, making Kate smirk.

"Sweet sister, if it were slut-shaming we'd be mocking Irina as well."

"Kate!" Irina admonished. Bella nearly giggled at that but didn't want to earn a glare from her maker, so she bit her lip and held back.

Kate continued, ignoring Irina as she did so. "We're Tanya shaming."

Tanya narrowed her eyes. "You should be careful, little sister. I have a lot more dirt on you than you think." The warrior stuck her tongue out at her and nestled into Bella's arms.

Kate didn't seem worried, so Bella thought little of their banter. The familiar teasing of the sisters put her at ease, it made her forget about Esme and the fear that came with seeing her again. It made her forget the cutting words she exchanged with Rosalie.

"But you wouldn't spill that dirt, would you, Tanya?" She nestled her head under Bella's chin. "That would suck-"

"You little brat!" Kate laughed and clung to Bella even tighter, making her hide her own laugh behind her hand. Her kick connected with Bella's shield and her foot bounced off harmlessly. "Ugh! Bella, you can't protect that little shit forever!"

Bella grinned, kissing Kate's forehead before responding. "I don't have to protect my strong warrior. But I want to."

Kate looked at her with wide eyes. "I love you, so damn much. You know that, right?" Warmth bloomed in her chest and before she could say a word Kate waved off their sisters. "Go away. I must make sweet love to my woman." She purred, running her index finger down Bella's collarbone and making her eyes go black.

Irina wrinkled her nose. "I'm happy for you two. But I would appreciate it if you spared me the details of your time with my newborn."

"I spared plenty of details. Trust me."

Tanya looked beyond exasperated. "Here. In the woods? With Victoria creeping around?"

Kate growled. "Then what do you suggest? We have nowhere!" She then paused, giving Bella a wide smile. "Edward's room-"

"Ew, no!" She shoved Kate off, laughing as she scrambled to her feet. "You're sick!" The blonde laughed as Bella tackled her, and they tumbled around on the forest floor.

"What's sick is that I haven't made you cu-" Bella picked up a handful of leaves and shoved them into her mouth. Gold eyes bulged. Kate choked in surprise and loud laughs escaped her sisters as she spluttered around the mouthful of leaves.

"Thank the Lord for you, Bella." Tanya grinned. "I've been trying to find an effective way to shut her up for years now."

Bella giggled as Kate spat them out and began to wrestle with her once again. "For years you've called me a little shit when really, you're the little shit!" Kate snapped playfully, straddling her once again and grabbing fistfuls of leaves and throwing them into her face.

Irina touched Tanya's arm. "We should give them a moment." She then said, "We'll be close by just in case. Please be mindful of that." The sisters gave them space, but they might as well not have said anything as Kate continued hurling leaves at her mate with a triumphant laugh.

The newborn batted the leaves away as best she could, trying to keep her mouth shut as laughter shook her body. She blindly reached out and caught Kate's wrists, stopping the onslaught of leaves.

"This is how my strong warrior treats me?" Bella simpered, earning her a playful growl from her mate.

"When my princess acts like a brat, what choice do I have?"

She wrinkled her nose, though a small smile touched her lips. "Princess? You look more like a princess than I do, blondie."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Do you own a mirror?" She leaned her face closer to hers. "You look like royalty. My beautiful princess that I protect from annoying little sisters and monstrous succubi!" Why does that sound familiar?

A blonde warrior saving a princess. That triggered something. Nostalgia? Swan, what is it?

"We can still hear you," Tanya grumbled.

Irina's comment nearly made her laugh. "Wait, am I the annoying little sister?" She sounded scandalized. "I'm not annoying, Bella always said I was endearing."

"God. Just shut up, Rina." Tanya snorted.

Bella tuned out the bickering sisters and smiled up at Kate. "Too bad you can't protect me from yourself. I'm the princess of leaves because of you."

"Lucky for you, my weapon of choice is a rake." Kate wiggled her eyebrows, making Bella laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. "I'll rake you off your feet, my leafy princess-"

"Please, please shut up," Bella begged, wearing a large smile as Kate winked at her.

"Make me." The time traveler snorted and released one of Kate's wrists. She grabbed the collar of her mate's shirt and dragged her down to press her lips against hers.

Kate's free hand flew to the button of her jeans, and Bella pulled away with a smirk. "Are you sure you can get past my zipper?" She taunted, smirk broadening when Kate growled and wrenched her other hand free.

"Will you ever let that go?"

"Absolutely not. That was so cute."

Kate bared her teeth at her. "You're the real brat." She took the tail of the zipper and ripped it off, making Bella's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Did you just...you asshole! You ruined my jeans-" Kate cut her off with another hard kiss. Bella's breath hitched as a cool tongue slid into her mouth, and a soft purr rumbled in her throat as Kate slipped her underwear to the side.

Sparks danced on Kate's skin, something Bella usually only saw when she was with Katrina. Kate was better at controlling herself while Katrina was bad at concealing her power.

"Thank god you're a shield," Katrina had laughed. "I don't think you'd ever speak to me again if I electrocuted your clit."

Bella pulled away, watching the electricity flow from Kate's fingertips and harmlessly gliding over Bella's skin. It tingled. It provided warmth in a way that was comforting and familiar.

"I get you so excited that you light up for me." Her laughter died in her throat when deft fingers stroked her. A sharp breath escaped her and she clung to the blonde tightly. "Kate." She whimpered, tugging at her shirt impatiently. She was trying to work on her impulse control but her warrior made it almost impossible.

Her mate gave her a warm smile. "I always light up for you. Just as you always make such pretty noises for me-"

"Kate! Bella!" Irina snapped. "We're still within earshot!"

A low snarl escaped Bella. "Then please go away!" What's a few hours? Her frustration was mounting.

"No chance!" Tanya shot back. "Hurry up!"

Kate groaned in annoyance, pulling out and burying her face in Bella's neck. "Those two have always been boner killers."

The newborn fought back her laugh and slipped her arms around her shoulders. "You get boners?" She asked dryly.

"Well, I sure as hell don't have one now." Bella couldn't help but laugh quietly at that.

"You're so dumb. This is the second time I've heard a dick joke from you."

Kate kissed her neck before pulling away so she could look at her. "They make you laugh. I love making you laugh." She got to her feet, eyes warm as she scooped Bella into her arms bridal style.

Warmth burned her chest, and she cupped Kate's cheeks in her hands. "I love laughing with you. I love you." She gave her a chaste kiss, and Kate's lips chased hers when she tried to pull away. A muffled laugh escaped her as Kate kissed her once, then twice, then three times.

"I love you more." Her warrior said before running towards their sisters.

"Bullshit."

"I waited seventy years for you." Kate challenged. "You're my forever girl."

"I heard your voice as a human. I drew pictures of you. I saw you in my dreams." Bella listed easily, offering a wave to Irina and Tanya before continuing. "You're my dream girl."

Irina smiled as she ran next to them. "I'm inclined to agree with Bella. She traveled back in time for you." The newborn beamed at her maker while the warrior rolled her eyes.

"Of course you take her side."

"I have no clue what you're talking about. I'm an impartial third party."

Tanya laughed before shaking her head. "Okay, but Kate was the one who..." she trailed off and Irina's eyes widened.

"Oh! How could I forget?" The shortest sister said. "Well, do we measure that in terms of love or in terms of bravery?"

Kate scowled. "Both!"

Bella frowned. "I'm out of the loop."

Her mate smiled down at her. "Not much longer, hopefully. I'd tell you but I can't ruin it."

---

"Rose-"

"I fucked up, Eleazar." Her eyes welled with unshed venom. "I fucked up so badly." Anger and sadness bogged her down, made her fearfully lash out. "I thought I was getting better! Why aren't I getting better? Why would I say that!" She roared, slamming her fist into another tree, and ripping up its roots.

"Bettering ourselves isn't instantaneous. Improvement isn't always linear. Making mistakes is common." Eleazar took her hands in his, forcing her to stop tearing up the forestry. "What exactly did you say to her?"

Rosalie looked away from him, angry tears in her eyes and a growl in her throat. "I told her that my family and I took her in out of pity." The look of shock the older vampire wore made her crumble. "No, please Eleazar. I know I'm awful, but you're the only one who believes in me. Please-"

"I'm...I'm torn, Rosalie." He spoke gently, masking his shock with a look of disappointment. "That was such a vile thing to say." He gave her hands a firm squeeze. "I don't approve of it, and you'll need to find a way to fix things. But," his expression softened. "Mistakes are inevitable and you are not beyond redemption, do you understand me?"

She gave him a shaky nod. Filled with regret but relieved that Eleazar didn't hate her. "I understand."

Eleazar furrowed his brow. "Would you care to run me through your thought process? What were you thinking when you said that to her?" He noticed the panic in her eyes and he gave her hand another squeeze. "You don't have to. Not if it makes you uncomfortable." His eyes were kind. I don't deserve any kindness.

Rosalie gnawed on her lip, looking away from him as she spoke. "I'm not special, Eleazar." It felt so vain when she said it aloud, but the older vampire never judged. "I don't have powers I'm not the smartest or the fastest or the strongest. People get used to my beauty when they've been around me for long enough." She swallowed thickly. It was humiliating to confess but she knew she needed to.

"I know I'm loved...but it's...I have this desire to be admired." She released a shaky breath. "I didn't like Bella at first. I never hated her, but I thought she was some stupid girl who couldn't say no to a pretty face. Then I found out that Edward had stalked her. He would sit in her room at night and watch her sleep. He would follow her around. And I was disgusted with him. I wanted to protect her."

Eleazar seemed surprised by this revelation. "I knew Bella was Edward's singer but...that is unsettling."

Rosalie felt vindicated by his reaction. "It was predatory." She growled before shaking her head. "When Bella and I first met I was rude to her. A human shouldn't know about our secret. Edward's sick infatuation with her would lead to her becoming one of us, and I knew that. But I thought if I scared her away I could save her from our fate. It was my way of protecting her, but it was a flawed one, I'll admit."

"What made you like her?"

Rosalie huffed out a small laugh. "When we first met, I may have been rude to her, but she was in awe of me." She shook her head. "My vanity will always be my greatest curse." A heavy sigh escaped her. "But we meet and she's in awe of me. Her eyes are wide and her mouth's agape." A fond smile played on her lips. "She's gawking at me like an idiot. The only vampire she ever looked at like that was Edward."

Eleazar laughed at that, eyes sparkling with amusement. "Ah, I see! No wonder you took a liking to her."

"I taunted Edward for months over it." She hummed. "There were many more reasons I grew to like her. But your initial question is what I was thinking when I said that to her." She swallowed thickly, looking away from Eleazar as she spoke.

"Bella was around me constantly but...her admiration never wavered. She complimented me, I could make her smile by doing the most minuscule of things, and she made me feel as though I was more. It wasn't just my beauty that she complimented. It was my personality. My abilities. My skill at the piano and my skill at fixing cars." She didn't realize she was smiling until she noticed Eleazar mirror her smile. "Only Emmett had ever really taken notice. Only Emmett ever consistently admired me. But then there was Bella. Giving me her awkward compliments and making me love her in a way I had only ever loved Alice." She looked down at their hands. "She was my best friend."

Eleazar smiled. "She loved you."

"And I loved her." Rosalie agreed. "And now she's a vampire. She's bold, bold enough to call me on my bullshit." She clenched her jaw. "She can see right through me and it's terrifying. When she was questioning me, and rightfully so, I...I was afraid. I was ashamed. I felt weak and vulnerable and hateful. I wanted the human Bella back. The one who took me as I was and didn't expect better of me. The one who loved me without question and forgave me for all my wrongdoings." Tears blurred her vision. "I feel like I've relapsed."

"I was angry at her for growing a spine. And it's so fucked up because that's all I ever wanted for her." Guilt and shame overwhelmed her. "Edward...as much as I hate to admit it...he was right. I always made Bella feel as though she had a choice, but each one had an ultimatum, one that was in my favor. I liked when Bella would fight back against things she disagreed with..." she closed her eyes. "Unless she disagreed with me. Bella was right too. And I liked keeping Bella around because she boosted my ego. I'm a hypocrite. I'm terrible. I drove her away and I don't know how to fix it."

Eleazar gave her a gentle smile, removing his hands from hers and placing them on her shoulders. "I'm so proud of you." She frowned at him. "I know this was difficult for you to talk about. I know you're ashamed of what you said, but I'm so proud of you for acknowledging your misdeeds and wanting to fix them." He peered at her with warmth and understanding and Rosalie didn't realize she was shaking until he pulled her to his chest. He embraced her gently. "This doesn't excuse how you treated Bella. Only she can forgive you. But I think there's hope for you yet." His tone was teasing and Rosalie laughed quietly into his shoulder.

"I wouldn't be so sure."

He pulled away and gave her a warm smile. "Well, I am."

When they return to the house the Denali sisters and Bella are already back. They're playing Sorry. Alice and Emmett are out of the common area, no doubt because of earlier that morning, and Carmen is standing next to Irina as they play.

Ghosts barks at Rosalie excitedly, putting all eyes on her as she scooped him up and greeted him. All eyes but Bella's. Eleazar greeted everyone warmly before going to Carmen's side, and to Rosalie's surprise, none of the sisters looked furious with her. Bella didn't tell them? Kate looked annoyed by her presence, she still didn't know why, but that was it.

Tanya drew a card and grinned. "Sorry, Bella." She moved her red piece out of start and put Bella's blue piece back into start.

Bella's eyes lit up with fury. "You asshole!" Her newborn temper wasn't awful, but it still flared up every now and then. "I was so close to getting home!"

Irina rubbed her back. "It's okay, Bella, I'll get her back-"

"This game is bullshit! She's not even really sorry! Look at her, she's smirking!"

Kate looked in between Bella and Tanya before her lips twisted into a scowl. Despite that, her eyes were alight with mirth and adoration for her mate. "Yeah, fuck this game!" She flipped the board over onto Tanya, making the pieces and cards go everywhere.

"Kate!" Tanya screeched. Bella look at Kate in surprise before the mated pair burst into a fit of laughter.

Irina was suppressing a smile as Tanya started scolding the two, while Carmen and Eleazar watched the four interact with fond smiles. Kate began pelting stray Sorry pawns at Tanya and encouraged Bella to join in as well. The three zipped around the house, laughing and yelling and cursing at one another.

"Fuck ass!"

"Damn shit!"

Irina grinned. "Bitch dick!"

Bella was howling with laughter when Tanya tackled her to the ground. More quarreling and nonsense ensued and that's when Rosalie took her leave. It was a warm scene in the kitchen and living room, and it was not one that she could be apart of. It was not something she deserved to be apart of.

Eleazar may have understood and accepted her, but Rosalie didn't expect Bella to.

I haven't earned her forgiveness. But I'm going to."

---

"So, why are you here?" Paul asked, tapping his fingers against his thigh and trying to calm himself as he watched the girl nibble on her sandwich.

'I'm starving and she eats like a fucking mouse. I swear to god if she wastes that food-'

The brunette kept her head down and her eyes on her food. "I...I didn't think you'd talk to me." She murmured, timid, and shaky.

The girl looked to be around his age, maybe twelve or thirteen. She was small and looked fragile, skin pale white but cheeks flushed. Brown eyes had widened slightly the moment he started talking to her, and this pleased him.

'Good. Run away before I hurt you too.'

"Is that why you sat here?" She said nothing and he rolled his eyes. "I thought you were either bold or stupid, seems like you're the second one." Again she remained silent, and he clenched his jaw. "Do you know why no one sits next to me? I hurt people. Just last week I beat the shit out of Neil because he looked at me funny-"

"I know." She spoke quietly, setting her sandwich down and continuing to stare at her trey. "That's why I sat here. I stay quiet and I don't look at you."

"And you still manage to piss me off!" He growled, feeling a tremor run down his spine. The girl frowned, looking far away for a moment, as though she were somewhere else.

She mumbled something before pushing her trey towards him. "Here. I don't eat much anyway." He eyed the food suspiciously for a moment. "Did I make you mad?"

He scoffed. "I tell you I beat someone up and you offer me food?" Paul picked up the sandwich. "...you're weird, you know that?"

The girl fiddled with the white sleeve of her uniform, eyes downcast as she spoke. "I know," Paul growled in agitation, confused as to why she didn't put up a fight.

"Aren't I pissing you off?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Don't you want to hit me? I'd wanna hit me."

"No."

Paul grunted, stuffing half the sandwich in his mouth. "You're really weird…don't you ever get angry? I'm angry all the time."

The girl shrugged. "Isn't that why you're here?"

Heat flooded his chest and burned his cheeks. "Everybody gets angry!" He snapped, slamming his fist on the table and drawing the attention of his peers. "My dad's a dipshit for sending me here. He's angry all the time and no one sent him to the loony bin!"

"Paul," he gritted his teeth and swiveled his head to see one of his caretakers, Ryan, standing there. Ryan was one of the better caretakers, gentle, and understanding, but Paul was still annoyed by the sight of him.

"I'm fine, Ryan," he muttered, gesturing towards the girl. "Me and this chick were just talking."

Ryan placed a hand on his shoulder. "That's not her name, is it?"

The boy growled under his breath. "You, what's your name?" He demanded, shrugging Ryan's hand off his shoulder.

His caregiver sighed but he ignored him when the girl opened her mouth. "Bela." She kept her head down and Paul frowned.

"Be-la? Bela? Weird name."

Ryan shook his head. "Remember what we said about the voices?"

Bela shifted uncomfortably, refusing to look at either of them. "They're not real and they can't dictate my life." She muttered, and Ryan smiled while Paul looked at her in surprise.

"Oh, you're one of the psychos-"

"Paul," Ryan reprimanded. "Is that appropriate?"

He glared at his caretaker before sighing. "No."

"No." Ryan agreed before turning back to Bela. "Would you mind telling Paul your real name?"

Bela frowned, finally looking up at the two, "My mom named me Bella, but I like Bela more."

"Why?" Paul asked, looking at her curiously, "Bela sounds weird."

"Does not." She snapped, making his eyes widen, surprised she actually argued with him.

"Does so."

Ryan put a hand on each of their shoulders. "That's enough, you two, finish your lunches. We have group therapy in five minutes."

Bella scowled and glared at her hands as Ryan left them. Paul ate the remainder of her lunch quickly, pushing the trey away from him and staring at her thoughtfully.

"So you hear people?" She didn't answer so he pressed onward. "C'mon, Bella, I just wanna know." He slid his juice pouch towards her. "You can have my juice." Still nothing, and he curled his hand into a fist. "I'll tell you about being angry if you tell me about your voices."

Brown eyes glanced at him. "You said everyone gets angry, so why would I want to know about that?"

"Not like me," he said, pushing his juice pouch closer to her. "I get all hot and I feel like I'll explode." She watched him silently, accepting his juice pouch and sipping it as he spoke. "I start shaking, sometimes I get so angry it hurts."

Bella stared at him, sipping her juice until it was empty before setting it aside. "I never get angry like that, but sometimes I get so angry I start crying."

He squinted at her. "Why would you start crying?"

"I don't know, I just do."

Paul grunted and shook his head. "That's weird. You're weird."

"So are you." She countered. "You want to punch everything."

"Yeah, and right now I want to punch you!" He snapped back before crossing his arms over his chest. "I told you about being angry, now tell me about the people you hear."

She eyed him for a moment before speaking. "There's five of them...they all call me Bela." She stared down at her hands again. "They're nice. Sometimes they speak different languages."

Now that was weird. He thought about saying so but decided not to.

"What do they say?"

Bella shrugged. "Sometimes they give me advice. Sometimes it's a random conversation between them." She quieted for a moment. "Sometimes they comfort me...they make me feel better. One of them sounds like a mother should."

He frowned at that. "Like a mother should?"

She nodded, looking up from her hands. "Warm...nice."

Paul stared at her before shaking his head. "Why the fuck are you here?" She looked at him in surprise. "Seriously, why? The voices are nice, they just call you a different name."

Bella gnawed on her lip. "My mom says it's strange. She says I'm strange. Normal people don't hear voices."

"You're not hurting anyone, so what the fuck does she know!" He snapped, a tremor running through his body. "I'm here because I hurt people, you're here because your mom sucks!"

Bella looked at him warily but didn't shy away, even when he slammed his fist onto the table.

She reached out a hand, "Can I…" she trailed off, looking as though she were listening to someone before she stopped herself, "Would it bother you if I touched you?"

His anger faltered and he narrowed his eyes. "I said I hurt people and you want to get closer to me?"

The brunette didn't say anything, instead, she placed her hand over his fist. He stared at the small pale hand that covered his large brown one. He didn't know what to think, and confusion overtook his anger.

Bella gave him a timid smile and he looked away from her. "Like I said. Weird." Paul's eyes widened when a small laugh escaped the girl.

"Better than being a hothead."

A surprised laugh escaped him. "Shut up, crybaby." He knew he was going to regret this. "Tell you what. You keep giving me the food you don't eat, and I'll beat the shit out of anyone that looks at you funny. Deal?"

Bella's eyes widened. "Oh. Uh...I'll give you what I don't eat. But I'd feel bad if someone got beat up because of me."

He refrained from rolling his eyes. "I'll do it anyway. I like fighting."

"Don't you want to leave?"

"Leave the loony bin? Yeah, right."

She frowned. "It's not prison, Paul."

He sneered at her. "Look around, Bella. Windows with bars. Rooms lock from the outside. Guards with batons and tasers." His familiar rage flickered to life. "This shit goes on our record. How is this place anything but a prison?"

Bella gnawed on her lip for a moment. "Well, at least we're not wearing orange."

That got a chuckle out of him. "What, did your voices tell you that joke?"

Her brow furrowed. "No...but one of them told me that they liked you. You and another girl."

"Leah?" Paul looked at her with wide eyes as she slipped on her clothes.

Seth grinned and ran to embrace his sister. "I knew you'd come!" Leah rolled her eyes but hugged him back nonetheless.

"Yeah, yeah." She glanced at Paul, looking as though she wanted to tell him something but she refrained. "Figured I'd just...say hi." She wrinkled her nose. "I know it's not much but...baby steps, or whatever."

Paul sighed in exasperation and fought back a smile. "I owe Jake twenty bucks and I owe Sam fifteen." Before she could ask about the bet he slung an arm around her shoulders. "I get that this is tough for you...and I'm sorry I was such an ass about it earlier. I'm glad you're here, and Bella will be too."

Leah shrugged and looked away from him. "Yeah." She was still conflicted, he could see it in the pack link. Torn between wanting to embrace Bella and hating what she had become. He understood. But no matter who or what Bella became, he would always love her. She was his best friend. His sister. He couldn't imagine life without her.

They walked to the mansion and were greeted by Bella. "Paul." He ran and embraced her, hugging her tight before pulling away.

"Hey, I brought friends." When Bella saw Leah he was stunned by how quickly her smile dropped. Last time she had seemed so hopeful about rekindling their friendship. Now she wore a look of indifference.

The tension between them was uncomfortable. Heartbreaking. But Paul knew better than to intervene.

"Hey," Bella said quietly. There was no aggression in her voice, only uncertainty. Leah had been unpredictable the last time they had spoken to each other. I guess Bella's keeping her guard up. Before Leah could respond Bella turned to her brother. "You must be Seth."

The boy looked at her with wide eyes. "Bella." A breathless laugh escaped him and he slammed into her, making Bella flinch in surprise. There was a nervousness in her movements, a stiffness that she masked with a smile. She was unsettled and he didn't know why.

"Nice to meet you again." She patted his back and he released her.

"Paul says it's not good to push you about your memories." Seth sounded so earnest and happy that the vampire relaxed. "I don't care how well you remember me, I'm just glad you're okay." The difference between Seth and Leah was night and day. In all fairness, he didn't see what we did. Leah had been traumatized.

"Careful, baby wolf, you might give me a run for my money." Kate appeared from the house, slipping an arm around Bella's waist. Kate's eyes met Leah's and Paul frowned when he saw the girl's exchange the slightest of nods. They know each other?

Bella elbowed Kate playfully in the ribs before turning back to Seth. "Only our sisters are home. Would you like to come in?"

Seth was practically vibrating in excitement. "Yes! I heard you have a wolf!" The vampires walked with the young shifter into the house, all chatting amicably about Ghost and seeming to have a nice time.

Leah hung back and Paul gave her a reassuring smile. "C'mon, Lee. You made it this far." She looked unsure, and when she was unsure about something, she became angry. Her face scrunched up for a moment before she walked with him into the house.

Bella was introducing the sisters to Seth. "This is Irina and Tanya."

Irina was the shortest of the sisters. She was, of course, beautiful like the rest of them. Her silvery blonde hair was cut short a little past her chin. Her lips were full and her eyes were bright gold. While Kate and Tanya bared the closest resemblance to one another, Irina definitely looked part of the family.

Tanya greeted Seth with a friendly smile before shooting a glare at Leah.

The shifter glared right back before muttering under her breath. "Bitch."

Irina stepped forward and bared her teeth. "Shut up you-" their eyes locked and they both froze. Paul looked between them in disbelief as Leah sucked in a sharp breath and everyone could hear the way her heart raced.

"No fucking way," Paul whispered. Looks like Leah isn't as straight as she claims to be.

Tanya's jaw dropped and she looked at her sister incredulously. "Of all species, it had to be a dog!" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "We'll never get this smell out of the house."

Kate laughed gleefully and gripped Bella's hand tightly. "Oh, this is too good! Carmen will have a stroke!"

Bella hummed, moving behind her so she could slip her arms around her waist. "You're so chaotic." She gave Irina a happy smile, but the vampire was still staring at Leah as though she were the center of the universe.

Leah snapped out of it first, and before she could bolt Seth grabbed her hand. "They were just going to show us something." She relaxed slightly and looked at her brother warily.

Paul didn't know how he felt about Leah imprinting on a vampire, but he was glad she finally got her imprint. Watching Sam and Emily was still hard on her. But maybe this will make things better. So long as she was happy, he discovered that he didn't really care. At least Irina isn't a human drinker.

The shifter stepped forward and rested his hand on her shoulder. "You can take this slow, you know." He said quietly. "I know this is...strange but...maybe you two should talk?"

Irina cleared her throat before putting her hands behind her back. "Edward's corpse is in the backyard." She blurted out. "I know you didn't like him. He's not dead but he's in time out until we choose to reattach his head."

This excited Paul, though he wished he had gotten to tear Edward apart himself. "That fucking asshole came back here?" He snarled, earning him a fond eye roll from his friend.

"Yes, but there's no need to get angry, right? He's already headless." Bella spoke to him gently, reminding him momentarily of when they were children.

He calmed when a cold hand touched his shoulder. "Right. Sorry."

Leah blinked, panic lessening as she looked at Irina in approval. "You ripped his head off?"

Kate spoke up quickly. "She sure did." She gave Irina an exaggerated wink and Tanya laughed quietly. Irina was glaring at her older sister and she looked so embarrassed that Paul couldn't help but laugh himself.

Bella quietly scolded her mate before moving to Irina's side. "Technically, Kate did, but Irina cosigned it."

Leah didn't so much as glance in Bella's direction, and that's when Paul saw gold eyes darken. There was finality there. A relinquish of hope. And Bella turned back to her mate, pretending as though she hadn't spoken to Leah at all.

Kate winced at this and shared a frustrated look with Paul.

Irina looked so unbelievably nervous and Leah looked so unbelievably unsure. If not for Seth then Leah would have run away. She would hide from her imprint and cause her wolf harm rather than admit that her imprint's a vampire. Both of them were scared, and Leah looked as though she were both love-struck and disgusted by the idea of it all.

The youngest Denali moved towards the back porch. "He's, um, this way." She grumbled, leading the shifters through the house. Paul couldn't help but notice that, despite her best efforts to keep some distance, Leah couldn't help but gravitate towards the front to be next to Irina.

The two didn't speak, but their closeness seemed to help them relax.

Afterward, they were all able to speak easily with one another. To Paul's surprise, Kate was very sociable. She was especially nice to Seth, telling him to flex and declaring he'd become a strong and fearless warrior.

I guess she's less cranky when I don't interrupt her sex life. The thought made him wrinkle his nose before he quickly pushed the thought away.

Bella didn't say much. She'd jump in every now and then but she seemed content enough to lay sprawled out on Kate's lap. Her mate played with her hair while speaking with Tanya and Paul. Irina and Leah remained silent, though they'd look at each other often.

Paul wasn't sure he had ever seen Leah blush as frequently as she did now.

It would have made him poke fun at her, had he not been so intuned to the distance between Bella and Leah. The shifter was glancing at their friend. Leah looked as though she wanted to say something but she never did.

And after their first failed interaction, Bella didn't entertain her or try to reach out.

It's like she's just...done.

A loud bark, it sounded a little deeper than he was used to, made everyone look at Ghost. He took a running start before he launched himself onto the couch, landing right on Bella's chest and making her laugh.

Paul smiled at the wolf. "Look at our son. He gets his bravery from me, you know."

Kate looked up from the pup and scowled at him. "I'm sorry, what? Ghost isn't yours. He's mine."

Paul scoffed at this. "Look, Kate, you're cool and all, but Bella and I have been married for four years."

Seth raised a brow. "You told me six."

Bella frowned at them. "I thought it was five."

"Don't encourage him," Kate growled, taking Bella's face and hugging it to her chest. "You and I are...well you're certainly not married to him."

"Of course not." Bella smiled up at her dreamily, making Paul gag and Tanya laugh. "If I were married to anyone it would be you. My big strong warrior."

Tanya rolled her eyes. "You two are genuinely disgusting."

"Says the succubus," Bella muttered, earning her a playful swat from the leader of their coven.

Paul tapped his chin before perking up. "You're bi, so if I dye my hair blonde then it's over for Kate-" Kate reached over and Paul yelped when a light spark made his body jolt.

"Ow! Holy shit, you can electrocute people?" He rubbed his arm, scowling when Bella laughed at him.

Meanwhile, Leah and Irina were in the middle of their own awkward conversation. "So...you don't eat people," Leah said gruffly, making Irina shift awkwardly.

"Not anymore, no."

"Cool." This is awful. Leah is killing this in all the wrong ways.

Paul could tell Leah was indecisive about her imprint. While her wolf was calling on Leah to love Irina, her own prejudices were bringing things to a halt.

He gave Irina a grateful smile. "We never got to thank you earlier. You saved Bella from that awful leech."

Seth nodded in agreement. "I heard that it's hard for newborns to go on without their makers. It's cool that you guys take such good care of Bella." He then gave their friend an apologetic look. "I'm sorry your maker was so terrible."

Bella sat up quickly, lips curled into a snarl. "My maker is amaz-"

Kate put a hand on her shoulder to silence her. "We've been over this, Bella." Bella frowned at her. "Your maker, Laurent, was terrible, and it's good that he's dead."

The newborn blinked, casting a glance at Irina before sighing. "Uh, sorry. It's instinctive to want to protect them."

Leah frowned at her brother. "Where'd you hear that?"

Seth winced. "Bella told me." She narrowed her eyes and Seth stared at his hands. "It's not a big deal." He grumbled. "I was curious and asked her, okay?" Paul grimaced. If they weren't careful this would derail fast.

"Why do you care about that stuff? It doesn't matter." She responded gruffly, making Irina stiffen.

Tanya snorted. "Well, it matters now, doesn't it? You've imprinted on my baby sister, who is very much a vampire."

Leah growled at her and Bella opened her mouth, no doubt to snap at the shifter when Irina got to her feet. The brunette's mouth slammed shut when Irina went to her side.

"Easy." She soothed, slipping next to her on the couch. Paul was startled by how close the two were. It was as though her very presence soothed Bella. Their proximity made Leah bristle but neither vampire noticed.

Kate, however, did notice, and she chuckled before standing to her feet. "It took me a little while to get used to them." She sat next to Leah. "They've always been close like this. Obviously, it's nothing romantic. They're sisters."

Irina was cupping Bella's cheeks, speaking too quietly for any of the shifters to hear, and Bella was holding her arms and listening attentively.

Leah frowned at Kate. "Sisters?"

Tanya rolled her eyes. "Poor comprehension skills as well? My, my, baby sister. You sure know how to pick them." Paul hid his smile behind his hand, earning him a glare from the female shifter.

Kate explained it to them. "Bella can time travel. She gained the ability when she turned into a vampire, but before then she could see snippets of the past in dreams and-"

"She could hear voices." Paul finished.

Leah looked at Kate in shock, waiting for confirmation. "It's true. Alice calls it the echoes of the past."

And she got sent to the psych ward because of it. Tanya explained a bit of Irina and Bella's past to Leah while Kate watched her mate intently.

When it was clear that neither Bella or Leah was going to talk to each other, Paul decided to intervene. "Bells, would you show me where the bathroom is?"

Tanya wrinkled her nose. "See? This is exactly why I didn't want them in here. Why can't he go outside?" Kate laughed loudly while Bella suppressed her smile as best she could.

"Please be nice," Irina grumbled, shooting a look at Leah before shifting awkwardly in her seat.

Seth gave Tanya a sheepish smile. "I wondered about that, so I went before we came over."

The leader of the Denali's gave him an approving nod. "If more of the shifters were like you I would find your species far more enjoyable to be around." Seth perked at the compliment while Leah glared at Tanya. However, she kept her mouth shut. Thank god.

Paul followed Bella to the bathroom, stopping just outside of it. "With Leah, I think you should-"

Bella frowned at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why should I do anything?" Her voice was quiet but forceful, and while the vampires could hear them, the shifters could not.

Her bluntness surprised him. "Well...I don't know, don't you want to fix things?"

His question only served to anger her more. "Why is that my responsibility? I've tried. I gave her space. She still can't look at me. What am I supposed to do? Apologize for what I am? Grovel at her feet and beg for her forgiveness for something I had no control over? Fuck that, Paul." He was surprised by her animosity. Her eyes had turned black and she looked like an actual threat.

"You're right," he quickly amended. "She should reach out to you, but she won't because...well, you know Leah."

"I don't, actually."

"Bella..."

"What?" Her shoulders drooped and her anger melted away. "Yeah, I hear her voice more often. She was important to Swan...she was important to me." Black eyes turned gold. "But I'm tired, Paul." Before he could say anything else she walked back downstairs.

Paul sighed and went into the bathroom for a moment, washing his hands before joining the rest of the group. Kate was no longer sitting by Leah, and Irina hadn't left her spot either. The vampires were all crammed on one couch, with Bella propped up in Kate's lap and Tanya sitting on the armrest.

Seth and Leah stayed next to each other and Paul joined them. Leah has to get her head out of her ass and fix this. Because Bella was right. It wasn't her job to make things work, it was a joint effort and Leah wasn't meeting her halfway.

Seth was speaking amicably with the sisters while Bella remained silent. She wouldn't look at anyone and only curled into her mate's arms before closing her eyes. Her breathing was steady and, for a moment, Paul forgot she was even a vampire.

He wondered if Leah did too. Because it was only then that she would allow herself to look at Bella. When gold eyes were hidden and her human mannerisms came into play.

The front door opened and Paul coughed at the scent of more vampires. It burned his nostrils and made his nose wrinkle in disgust.

Rosalie and Emmett walked inside. Bella's eyes opened and she froze, looking up to glance at Rosalie before she quickly looked away.

This confused everyone, even Emmett, who frowned at his mate. Rosalie looked at Bella for a moment before she walked through the door. The tension was palpable, and it was Leah who stood up and chose to speak.

"Blondie, I never got to officially welcome you back!" She sneered, flipping her off with both middle fingers and making Rosalie bare her teeth. God. Things couldn't get worse.

"I'm sorry, what's your name again? Why are you in my house?" She snapped. "Don't make me break your other collarbone." Irina hissed at her in response, making Rosalie direct her glare towards the youngest sister.

Seth stood at the same time as Tanya. "No quarreling, Rose. Leah is Irina's mate."

"Of course she is." Rosalie laughed. "Because my week couldn't get any worse."

"Please, let it go," Seth muttered to his sister, stepping in front of her. But Leah stepped around him to face the blonde.

"I have an obvious problem with you, so what's yours with me?" Leah challenged, making Rosalie relax and shoot her an easy smirk. Like she knew something Leah didn't.

"I have a list. But for starters, you can hardly stand to look at the girl you once called a best friend." Rosalie shrugged before turning on her heel. "She accepted you for the mongrel you became, but you can't do the same. How interesting."

How did she know? Paul wondered if it was a gamble on Rosalie's part, or if the Cullen was that good at reading Bella. Maybe it's both.

She began to walk away with Emmett when Leah angrily shouted after her. "You don't know anything about me!"

Rosalie didn't bother turning around. "No. And I don't care to."

"Leah-" Paul tried to stop her but to no avail.

"At least I didn't abandon her. She loved you, you selfish bitch!" This made Emmett pause, muscles tensing and jaw flexing as he stopped himself from lashing out at the shifter.

Bella stood up abruptly, eyes black as she darted out of the house. Kate cursed under her breath before jumping to her feet and following her mate outside.

Paul sighed, rubbing at his face for a moment before he stood to his feet as well. His friend needed him, but Leah was also his friend, and he should keep the peace.

Never thought I'd be the one keeping everyone in check. Sam and Jake would be proud of him.

Rosalie stared at the front door for a moment before she looked at Leah. "When I look in the mirror I'm able to see myself for who I truly am. A hypocrite. It's something I've been working on." She walked to the garage door and opened it before she paused. "Can you say the same?" The door slammed shut behind her and Emmett, leaving a tense silence behind.

Leah looked stunned, and Paul winced at the angered look that crossed Irina's face.

Tanya pursued her lips. "I think you should all go."

Seth sighed and rubbed his arm. "Uh, sorry about that. Next time we'll be better house guests." He said quietly, making Tanya pause and offer him a small smile.

"You're a sweet boy…" a look of sadness flashed in gold eyes. "My mother would have liked you." Without another word she disappeared.

Irina looked conflicted for a moment before she shook her head. "It was nice meeting you, Leah." She looked disappointed, and Leah looked crestfallen as her imprint darted away as well.

That could have gone better. Leah snarled before storming out of the house.

Once off the Cullen territory, Leah began ranting.

"Imprinting on a fucking leech, can you believe this!" She snarled, looking at Seth for affirmation. "What would dad think?" Leah looked sick to her stomach. "To know I'm...to know my wolf picked the monster that killed him. The monster that killed Bella."

Seth squared his shoulders. "Bella isn't dead, Leah!" Paul and Leah looked at him with wide eyes. "She was right there and...and you ignored her the whole time. It was obvious you didn't want to talk to her. Why do you think she left?" An angry sigh escaped him and his shoulders slumped. "Irina didn't kill dad, Victoria did. Vampires aren't all the same and you know that." Sadness filled brown eyes and he crammed his hands into his pockets. "Dad...he would have been happy that you imprinted on someone after Sam. Sure, he would have been grouchy that Irina was a vampire, but do you really think he'd get mad at you over that?"

"Seth-"

"Whatever. We were having fun until you picked a fight." He looked away from her. "I know you're...struggling but...you have to try, Leah." He backed away from them before exploding into his wolf. Seth tore off into the forest, leaving his sister speechless.

Paul was conflicted. He agreed that Leah should try harder, but at the same time, he knew Bella's change had traumatized her. There was so much blood. And if anyone deserved to hate vampires, it was Leah. A vampire killed her dad. I would hate them if they killed my mom.

He sighed and turned to his friend. "It's hard, I know. But maybe start small? Do something you can manage."

Leah curled her hands into fists. "Something I can manage? I was supposed to make things better today! I was supposed to hug her and apologize and make things right but...I could barely look at her, Paul." An angry growl erupted from her throat. "When she was human, I shifted in front of her and she wasn't scared. She said my wolf looked pretty and she..." her voice cracked and she looked away from him. "I hate that I'm treating her like this but I'm just so afraid, and I don't even know what of!"

Paul didn't know how to respond to that. "Bella...she's still Bella." He said lamely. He wasn't very good at comforting people. Unless it's Bella, but even I fucked that up today. "Why don't you just...ease into it slowly, just like you should ease into the imprint slowly." He gave her an apologetic look. "I know I'm the last person who should be saying this but...you don't want to say anything you'll regret."

I know that all too well.

Leah looked away from him, but by the way her face softened, Paul knew she took it to heart. "You're right...I'll be careful. I'll make things better."

Paul smiled. "Good." He paused before placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I know I was an ass to you earlier...but I want to be a better friend to you."

She gave him a weak smile. "You getting soft on me, Lahote?"

He smiled back at her. "Oh, you know it, Clearwater."

---

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Bella mumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "There's school today and I'm...so tired." Her skin was chalky white, and the smell of sickness clung to her, obscuring her usual sweet scent.

She was laying out in her bed, blankets pooled at her feet, and the faint glisten of sweat shined on her forehead. There were dark circles beneath her eyes and her cheeks were gaunt.

Jasper's brow furrowed in worry. "I just came to check on you. Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie will be by a little later. Edward plans on coming tonight." He sat on the edge of her bed and she watched him with tired eyes. "Esme is making you plenty of soup. Carlisle would like to take a look at you-"

"It's just a little sickness," Bella said quickly, looking more alert as she sat up slightly. "I don't need a doctor." Her panic was evident in the way her body curled in on itself, but the anxiety he got from her was so intense he nearly staggered backward.

'Does Carlisle scare her?'

"What if I tell him to come as Carlisle instead of as a doctor?" He offered, noticing the waves of panic subsided, and he felt himself slouch in relief.

"Yeah. That would be nice, thanks." She said quietly. "Sorry, I know emotions can be a lot, I can't imagine having to feel everyone else's all the time."

Jasper held his hand out to her, trying to be comforting. "You can't control how you feel. You have nothing to apologize for."

Bella eyed his outstretched hand before taking it in hers. "Yeah…" she said quietly. "How I feel...Alice said you knew too." She looked up at him hopefully. "It's a fluke, right?" Her eyes watered. "These feelings, they're not natural, Jasper. They're not...I can't feel like this."

The empath felt his own eyes water at the shame that encompassed Bella. The disgust she felt, the fear, the loneliness. "Bella-"

"Please, Jasper." She clung to his hand tightly. "I don't want this." Her voice cracked. "You have to believe me. I don't want to feel this way. I can't feel this way. It's wrong."

Jasper scooted closer to her. "Why is it so wrong?" He wanted to understand, truly, he did. He wanted to make these feelings go away. The self-loathing was rooted deep within Bella's emotions. He had felt that the first time he saw her in the cafeteria.

Frustration roared to life, fighting against the gentle feelings of peace he was sending her way. "Because it is! Women shouldn't be with women! It's unnatural!"

"Who told you that?"

Bella quieted, and fear was quickly overshadowed with more anger. "You were a fucking confederate, Jasper." He winced at that. "Don't tell me you were okay with homosexuality."

His own shame came to the surface. "I wasn't." He conceded. "But those views are wrong and outdated. Why is it so wrong for two consensual adults to love each other, regardless of gender? Who are they hurting?"

The human looked at him in surprise, and she struggled to come up with an answer to that. "It's just...unnatural." She said again.

'This is rehearsed. Scripted. This isn't her speaking.'

"Is that what Charlie told you?"

"No." Hurt leaked through, smothering the anger and indignation.

Jasper moved closer so their sides were touching. "Renee." Bella's sadness was overwhelming, and he felt like he was choking on it for a moment. More tears burned his eyes, but not the girls.

She looked numbly at their interlaced fingers. "It's funny. She's not even religious." A tight smile appeared. "When I…" she clenched her jaw. "Can we keep this between us, please?"

The empath nodded and slung his free arm around her shoulders. "Of course...may I say something?"

She rested her head on his chest, startling him for a moment. No human had ever been so comfortable with him before. He was often tense and awkward. He was afraid that he'd slip up if he allowed himself to get too close.

Bella had never treated him as most of his family had. Like he was a ticking time bomb, and that she was waiting for him to finally crack. Edward and Rosalie, while never hostile, always watched him closely when he interacted with Bella.

Emmett would make jokes, but his true concern would leak into them. Carlisle and Esme often asked how he was feeling, and whether or not he could handle certain situations. They spoke to him with caution and concern.

But Alice and Bella, they had full confidence in him, and that meant everything. Even when the human pushed his control, even when his eyes went black around her, she never shied away from him. It amazed him that she could overlook his monstrous tendencies and love him so openly.

'She isn't Edward's mate. But I understand his desire to believe that she is.' She was a joy to be around, even when her scent made it difficult. She was like Edward's own Alice.

Bella loved Edward in spite of what he was. She loved all of them in spite of what they were.

"Love transcends gender." He chanced a small kiss on the top of her head. "No matter who you love, we'll all still love you." Her hand trembled slightly. "I really wish you would love yourself more."

A soft sigh escaped her. "I'll...thank you, Jasper. You're a good friend." Her voice was tenuous, strained, but the affection she felt for him made him smile.

"So are you." The fatigue caused by her sickness made her soon fall back asleep.

When Alice arrived she cooed at the sight. "You two are so cute." He smiled lovingly at her as she made her way over to them. "Now we can make a Bella sandwich." She smiled triumphantly as she slipped onto the other side of Bella. "Emmett and Rose are going to be so jealous."

Jasper chuckled as his mate wrapped her arms around Bella. "I'm certain they will be."

Bella stirred at the feeling of Alice and her eyes fluttered open. "There she is." She laughed quietly.

His mate smiled widely. "We cuddle so much you now know who I am without looking. Rose and Emmett can't say the same." She boasted, making Bella laugh quietly.

"Actually it's pretty obvious when it's Emmett or you." She cleared her throat awkwardly. "With Rose, erm, she has some more...ample assets-"

An offended gasp escaped the smaller vampire. "Did you just breast shame me?"

"No!" Bella squeaked, embarrassment, and amusement flooding her. "I can just...ugh! You're impossible!" Alice erupted into a fit of giggles and Bella looked up at Jasper grumpily. "Please control your wife."

Jasper grinned. "You think I can control her? It means a lot that you think I'm the one that wears the pants in this relationship."

Alice leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Good boy." She then kissed Bella's cheek. "When you become a vampire, I know you'll wear the pants with Edward. It's a Cullen and Hale woman tradition. Keeping our men in check."

This evoked a soft laugh from the human. "Well, I wouldn't want to ruin tradition."

Jasper rested his chin on Bella's head. "Edward's already smitten. You won't have to work too hard." He teased, making her smile before a yawn escaped her. Bella muttered something before going slack in his and Alice's arms.

She was asleep, and that's when Alice gave him a gentle smile. "I'm glad you two get along so well."

"I am too." Part of him was still reeling from what he had learned. Renee created a self-loathing in Bella that was so strong he could hardly stand it.

Where most emotions he felt were like waves lapping the shore, Bella's self-loathing felt like a riptide. It dragged him from the shallows and cast him out into the raging sea of hatred. It was intense. Agonizing.

She hated herself for what was out of her control. When Bella avoided Rosalie, she was experiencing more than the shame of loving her boyfriend's sister. She was revolted with having feelings for another woman. She was scared.

"Jasper? What's wrong?"

True to his word, he didn't confess what he had learned. "Nothing. Just thinking." He said quietly, and before she could ask they heard the approaching footfalls of Emmett and Rosalie.

Emmett jumped through the window first, looking at Jasper and Alice with a frown. "Goddammit." Rosalie appeared behind him. "Babe, I told you we should have left earlier. Now she's cuddling with another couple."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "However will we survive?" At the sound of her voice, Bella grumbled and slowly opened her eyes. She stared at Rosalie for a moment too long before looking at Emmett.

"It's just a cold or something. Why's everyone here?" She sounded groggy. Her speech was slightly slurred and her voice was rough from sleep.

"Because we love you, Bellsy!" Emmett enthused.

Rosalie shrugged and looked away. "Just...making sure all is well." She then glared at Bella's small smirk. "Not that I care." She moved forward and sat on the bed. "This is not because I like you."

"Mmmhmm." Bella nestled deeper into Jasper's and Alice's arms. She closed her eyes. "This is nice. When I'm hot I use vampires. And when I'm cold I use Paul and Leah because they're unnaturally warm."

Alice huffed. "So you're using me?"

"You're my favorite ice pack."

"Is it weird that I'm flattered?"

"It'd be weird if you weren't flattered." Bella laughed quietly. "But then again, we're both pretty weird."

"We are! So is Jasper."

The soldier chuckled. "I suppose I am."

Emmett moved so he sat next to Rosalie on the bed. "I'm sorry, you cuddle with Paul and Leah?"

"Well...they're also my best friends," Bella murmured, breathing slowing as she began to drift off again. "I love...I love them a lot…" Bella was asleep once again.

Emmett looked surprised by this revelation. "I didn't realize she was that close to them."

Rosalie examined her nails, speaking off the cuff as she did so. "She was childhood friends with Paul back in Arizona. They moved here around the same time. It only makes sense that they're such good friends. But I couldn't tell you what she sees in Leah."

Everyone looked at her in surprise, and Alice's eyes widened. "How did you...did Bella tell you that? She never talks about Arizona."

The blonde froze, losing composure for only a moment before she gave a careless shrug. "She did. Not that it's any of your business." Jasper could feel a hint of smugness radiating from her. It wasn't often Rosalie knew something about Bella that Alice didn't.

She was pleased Bella confided in her when she hadn't confided in Alice. Jasper knew it wasn't a malicious feeling, but it rubbed him the wrong way.

Emmett looked at Bella, who was still sleeping peacefully between the two vampires. "Sometimes I forget how much we don't know about Bella." This made everyone become silent.

They knew her personality, but her past was mostly obscured under a veil of anger and fear. She didn't divulge much about life before Forks, but she gave each of them a snippet of her life.

They all had fragments of who she was. Fragments of what she experienced. Disjointed events that would only come together if Bella told her story from the beginning. But, for now, they were all content with what personal knowledge they had of their human.

"She'll tell us when she's ready." Alice finally said.

Rosalie hummed. "And if she never is, that's okay too." Her gaze softened as she looked at Bella. "Not everything needs to be said." She looked away. "Not everything needs to be heard."

"Her emotions can be...troubling." Jasper agreed. "I worry about her. Her secrecy drives Edward mad."

His sister bared her teeth. "He's not entitled to know anything."

"He knows that," Jasper said quickly. "He's just curious by nature."

"Which leads him to be stalkerish by nature," Rosalie growled.

"Babe-"

"All of you are so quick to let it go. Have you ever thought that Bella's a victim of his predatory tendencies?" She questioned.

Alice scowled at her. "We're not quick to let it go, Rose. But Bella knows about it and now they're both happy together. What do you want us to do?"

Gold eyes glared at her before they looked at the human. "I won't overlook his behavior just because they're both seemingly happy."

Jasper nodded slowly. "I agree. This is going to end poorly. Bella may be good for Edward, and I'm glad our brother has found happiness, but Edward isn't good for Bella." He held the human a little tighter. "He tries, he really does, and she loves him for it. But they're incompatible. He stunts her growth, doesn't give her room to make decisions, and he allows his love for her to delude him."

Emmett looked indecisive. "I don't know...I know she does love him but maybe you're right, maybe he's not good for her." Apprehensiveness rolled off the largest Cullen in waves, and Jasper knew his brother knew more than he was letting on. "But I've never seen Edward this happy. Bella's happy with him too. She's happy with us."

Alice looked hesitant but she spoke up. "She...she knows he's not her mate." All eyes went to her.

Rosalie clenched her jaw. "But she stays with him?"

His mate sighed. "She does love him…" a small smile crept on her lips. "She said when she's turned that she and I would go mate hunting."

Emmett grinned. "Oh, I'm so in!"

"You weren't invited!"

"Right." Rosalie's voice was clipped. "Only Alice was."

Jasper was quick to defend his wife. "It's more complicated than that."

"Oh, so you both know?"

The empath sighed, pushing out waves of calm to combat Rosalie's anger and hurt. "We can't tell you. Bella didn't tell us, we discovered it by accident." His sister's anger faltered. "Telling anyone else would really hurt Bella...and I don't want to do that." Rosalie looked away from him, shame replacing anger.

Emmett tried to lighten the mood. "Even though she smells delicious?"

It had the opposite effect. "I'd never hurt her." He insisted. "She's my friend."

His brother put his hands up. "Hey, I was kidding, Jaspy. I didn't mean it."

"I don't care if you were kidding or not." The blonde shook his head, unsure of who he was trying to convince. "I wouldn't hurt her. I wouldn't."

"But I did. I hurt her. How can I show my face to her again?" The empath murmured. Carlisle and Esme's emotions were mixed. There was sadness, excitement at seeing Bella once again, and empathy for his plight.

His mother gently took his hand in hers. "You face her and you apologize. Bella has such a large heart…I know she doesn't hate you."

But has she forgiven me? She was my friend. I was supposed to protect her. I hurt her. I broke her wrist. I tried to kill-

"Jasper, you can't do this to yourself." His father's gentle voice dragged him from his thoughts.

He halfheartedly shrugged his hand off his shoulder. "The last time I saw her she was looking at me and...I could feel her fear." He balled his hands into fists and sat up in his seat. "Her eyes...she had never been scared of me before and I just...her blood was everywhere and she screamed and...I did that to her." He breathed. "I did that to my friend."

"You didn't mean to-"

"It doesn't matter." He growled, looking past Carlisle to watch the wing of the plane cut through the clouds. "I still hurt her." He was disgusted with himself, with his poor self-control. Bella had trusted him once, and he broke that by attacking her. But I'm better now. I'll show her.

Jasper couldn't remember the last time he had been so terrified. During the wars, he had nothing to live for. He didn't care about what happened to him because he didn't have Alice. But now he had many things to live for, many people to live for, and he had something to lose.

"Well," his mother said, "It won't do us any good to stress over the situation." Yet stress rolled off her in waves. "Why don't we watch something?"

"I'd rather not," Jasper said quietly.

"It's a long flight."

"Plenty of time for me to come up with a proper apology."

Carlisle smiled gently at his mate. "I'll watch something with you, love."

Esme smiled back. "Thank you." Seeing them interact only reminded Jasper of how much he missed Alice. He couldn't wait to get to Forks. Even if screaming and crying and hatred was all he'd receive from Bella, he at least knew his welcome from his mate would be a warm one. They had been apart for too long.

"We could watch the food network," Esme suggested, fiddling with the airplane's tiny television.

Carlisle nodded and took an earbud from her. "That's a great idea." Something in his expression changed when the chefs began talking about making the perfect chicken alfredo. A bittersweet nostalgia flooded Jasper's emotions, making his eyes burn with a longing he couldn't quite place.

He was about to snap at his father but stopped when he saw a small smile appear on his face. "Oh..." he breathed in wonder. "I've made this before."

---

Carlisle helped Edward tie on his apron, despite his son insisting he could do it himself. "It never hurts to have a little help." He chided. "Your mother taught me that." His son softened and Bella smiled as Edward moved to help with hers.

Bella often cooked for her father, and while Carlisle didn't know much about cooking, he wanted to help. Edward offered his assistance as well, and Bella was eager to cook with them.

Esme and Rosalie were on their hunting trip, and while his mate was helping him learn how to cook, there was a lot he still didn't know. But he was eager to learn, and he had voiced his excitement to Bella, who had given him such a fond smile that he couldn't help but smile back.

"Alright," Bella said. "Chicken alfredo and caesar salad. Simple enough." She looked at Carlisle. "You're on chicken duty." She then turned to Edward. "And you're on noodle duty. I'll make the salad."

Edward frowned. "You always put me on noodle duty."

The human took his hand and gave it a gentle pat. "You undercooked the chicken last time and nearly killed my father. It was good that I noticed before he ate it." A teasing smile played on her lips. "That's why you're banned from our kitchen."

"I didn't want to burn the food." He said defensively, and Bella laughed.

"Burnt food doesn't kill people." Edward smiled at this and rolled his eyes. He was much better at handling teasing ever since he began dating Bella. "Besides," Bella continued, "Carlisle wants to practice and show off for his woman."

Carlisle nodded enthusiastically. "I do! She'll be most pleased to know that I was on chicken duty and didn't undercook it." Edward shot him a playful glare and Bella grinned.

"I believe in you."

His eyes widened for a moment and he smiled. "Thank you." He was out of touch with many aspects of human life. Being a doctor and being well versed in the science field meant he had a more clinical approach to everything. Having Bella in their family was improving his mannerisms.

It opened his eyes to the simple pleasures he had overlooked since becoming a vampire. Watching Bella cook with Esme, both dancing around the kitchen to music and laughing as they made new dishes, had inspired him to step foot in the place he had once deemed unnecessary.

Helping them cook made his wife happy. It made Bella happy. Edward had mirrored him in that way. He noticed the fun they all had and had joined them so he could experience it for himself. He joined them because it made Bella's face light up and it made her smiles a little bigger.

Edward turned on the radio. It was a random pop station.

"Do we have to listen to this?" He asked Bella. Not complaining but inquiring.

"Yes." She said. "You have to expand your taste in music." Her smile was a teasing one. "When you talked about your taste in classical music, you sounded so snooty."

Carlisle smiled as he began cutting up the raw chicken. "She has a point."

Edward laughed in slight disbelief. "I was being honest!"

"I felt like I had to keep my pinkies out at all times." Bella held up her salad bowl with raised pinkies. "It was stressful living up to the classiness and snootiness of Edward Mason Cullen."

Carlisle couldn't stop himself from poking fun at his eldest. "Even his name is pretentious."

"Dad!" The mind reader's smile never faltered. Carlisle liked that Edward could laugh at himself more. It was a relief to see him so happy and carefree.

Bella laughed loudly at this. "It is!"

"And Isabella Marie Swan isn't?" Edward shot back. "You sound like you could very well be a composer of the classical music you mock me for listening to." He turned on the stove and filled the pot with water before setting it on the stovetop.

The girl wrinkled her nose. "But I have a nickname, making me far more informal than you are."

"Maybe I should just call you Isabella, then." He hummed. "You'll be just as snooty as me."

Carlisle smiled as the two continued to banter with one another. It was nice that his son was able to experience what the rest of their family was able to. Happiness. Love. Joy. It only seemed logical to turn Bella.

'To maximize his happiness, shouldn't he have an eternity with her?' He ignored his son's reproachful look. You know I'm right. Even Rosalie turned Emmett, and she hates her existence just as much as you do. Edward turned away from him, focusing intently on the boiling water before he stiffened.

Carlisle eyed him warily as he set the chicken on the skillet. Edward straightened abruptly when Bella came too close. "Excuse me. I need to hunt, I won't be long." He promised, eyes dark with hunger as he disappeared from the house.

Bella looked troubled for a moment before she shook her head. "He just wanted to get out of noodle duty." This made Carlisle laugh as she stepped next to him to take Edward's place.

She used to be very wary around him. Bella would never turn her back to him and she'd never get too close. At first, he had thought it was her instincts making her fearful of his inner predator. But he had then realized that couldn't be it. She interacted with the rest of his family just fine.

It wasn't until he asked Edward that he had learned the truth of her fear. Part of him was relieved that it wasn't anything personal, but another part of him feared to know why Bella disliked those in his profession. He dreaded the thought of her being a victim to maltreatment, though he believed that to be the reason.

Carlisle and Bella worked in comfortable silence for a moment before he looked at her. "May I say something" Bella silently encouraged him to continue so he did. "Edward and Alice told me that doctors make you uncomfortable." The girl winced and shied away from him. "I apologize if I have ever contributed to your discomfort. Whatever you've experienced with them, I hope you know I have no desire to replicate that. I only wish to put you at ease."

Bella didn't say anything for a while. A long while. And Carlisle worried he had messed up. Finally, she said, "As a child, I was with doctors a lot." She tapped her index finger against her thumb. "I experienced a lot of...treatments. They didn't see me as a person, but as a puzzle that they desperately wanted to figure out." Bella swallowed thickly before she focused stirring the noodles. "I don't like needles. I don't like medication. I don't like hospitals. I don't like doctors. When I first met you I thought you'd be the same." She gave him a small smile. "You were a bit too clinical at first, but then I got to know you, and I'm glad I did."

He almost asks why she needed to go to the hospital so often. He almost asks about her condition. His damned curiosity and his desire to fix people, to make them feel better in mind and body, nearly makes him drive the girl away.

Were it not for Esme and her lessons on empathy, he would have asked something incredibly insensitive. But he spent decades watching how she interacted with their children. Her compassionate personality had made them all open up to her, and it was something Carlisle desperately wanted to emulate.

So he did. "The medical community, doctors, in particular, can often struggle with seeing patients as people." He conceded. "Some harden themselves after seeing patients die. Others didn't join out of their love for saving others, but rather their love for prestige or money or science." He flipped the chicken and sighed. "We're taught to think logically. Emotions are put aside because having emotions means having faulty judgment." He then reached out and gently touched her shoulder. "I'm sorry those doctors didn't treat you well. I used to struggle with the same thing until Esme came into my life."

Bella looked up at him in awe, as though she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I hope you know that, if you're ever in need of a doctor, that you can count on me. I won't pry, I won't experiment, I'll treat you as one of my own." Tears filled her eyes and he smiled gently at her. "You already feel like one of my own. I hope you know that I love you very much. You're good for my family. You're good for me. And I want to take care of you."

The girl embraced him tightly, making his eyes widen in surprise before he hugged her back. 'Our first hug!' Humans were warm and soft. He knew that already, of course, but he couldn't remember the last time he's ever hugged one.

She felt delicate in his arms. But he was pleased by the sound of her strong heart and clear airways. She was healthy and happy, and that's what mattered.

Bella pulled away with a shaky laugh and she wiped at her eyes. "Ugh. I'm sick of crying around you and your wife." She smiled at him. "I love you too." She then stepped away. "I'm going to the bathroom. Now I'm all congested because of you."

Carlisle laughed. "My apologies! Don't worry, in your absence, I will watch the food!"

And he did. To ensure the chicken wouldn't be raw, he burnt it. And when Bella came back she looked at him in disbelief.

"Carlisle!"

He frowned at her distressed tone. "You said that last time Edward made raw chicken, so I figured I would burn it a little. It's safer that way." He informed her. "Consuming raw chicken can lead to salmonella and illness from campylobacter. The symptoms include vomiting, fever, diarrhea-"

Bella's laugh cut him off and she shook her head. "Of course, I didn't think of all that."

"Hmm...are you mocking me?"

"Just a little. You know you don't have to burn it to cook it all the way, right?" She smiled at him and he sighed.

"Yes...but I didn't want to take the risk of you or Charlie getting sick." He told her. "And you're not comfortable in hospitals, so I would like to avoid sending you to one."

Bella softened at that and gave him a small hug. "Thank you." Carlisle patted her head, making her huff out a laugh before she gave him a serious look. "What I said earlier about going to doctors a lot...I don't want to worry Edward or anyone else. Could we please keep that between us?"

Carlisle brightened. "Of course! I'm all about patient confidentiality. Anything you tell me stays between us, I promise."

"Thanks," she then looked at the chicken before smiling. "Would you like me to teach you how to cook chicken instead of burn it?"

"Yes, thank you again, Senna." Carlisle hung up the phone and put his luggage in the back of their car. "Senna will meet us at the house to help us with the search for Bella. She's the best tracker I know. She'll be here in a couple of days." It had been a long time since he contacted the Amazon coven. He had thought to ask all of them for help but it wouldn't be necessary, especially since the Denali's were already at the house as well.

Esme gave him a tense smile. "That's nice." He took her suitcase and put it in the trunk. "Edward hasn't picked up his phone so I'm a bit nervous."

"You know how he gets," Jasper mumbled, putting his own bag in the trunk. "He's probably going crazy looking."

Carlisle closed the trunk and moved to the driver's seat. "On the phone, it sounded as though he saw her." He mused. "However, he didn't call back after that, so I'm assuming he was incorrect and she's still out there."

His mate pursed her lips. "You're a beacon of hope, darling." Jasper laughed quietly at this as he got into the back seat.

Carlisle sighed and started the car. "I'm sorry. I'm worried, truly, but I want us to all keep clear heads and realistic expectations." His grip on the steering wheel tightened. "This is why I voted to stay. She needed us just as much as we needed her-"

"Carlisle," Esme whispered. "Please, this isn't helping." He clenched his jaw but forced himself to relax.

"Apologies." They drove in silence for a while before his wife made a noise of surprise.

"Oh," Esme murmured, reaching down by her feet and pulling up a small painting that had been on the ground. Carlisle frowned, he had seen a lot of Bella's art, but never that painting.

"What...what exactly is it?" He asked his teary eyed mate.

She swallowed thickly and moved the picture closer to her face. "Bella..."

---

"Jesus, Alice, can't we take a break?"

"No, Bella! Now stop whining and start walking!"

Esme entered the house to see Bella wobbling about in a pair of high heels. Her face was a bright red and her arms were flapping wildly as she attempted to stay balanced.

Alice perked up when she saw her. "Mom! Look what Bella's doing!" She laughed lightly as her youngest daughter darted into her arms, giving her an affectionate hug before pulling away.

Bella looked up at her. "Mo–" she stopped herself, more blood rushing to her cheeks as she quickly looked away from her. "Erm, hello, Esme." The girl waddled awkwardly to the couch and sat down so that she wouldn't fall, and she stared at her hands as she waited for a response.

Esme wanted to tell their human that she could call her whatever she wanted. She welcomed the idea of Bella seeing her as a mother, loved it, even. But she didn't push.

Bella didn't talk about her birth mother to anyone. Not to Edward or Rosalie, not even to Alice. She would tense at the mention of Renee, whether her name be said in passing or a direct question was asked about her time in Arizona.

That worried her. Oftentimes it felt as though Bella went out of her way to gain her approval. It was as though she told Esme what she thought she wanted to hear, and that also worried the vampire.

The conclusion she had come to was that her birth mother was no mother at all. She didn't want to come to that conclusion. Bella was a sweet girl, one deserving of a happy childhood, but Esme feared that wasn't the case.

"Bella, I'm so glad you're here." Esme smiled gently at her, noticing the way her eyes widened. "I bought some canvases the other day and thought we could paint together."

The girl gawked at her for a moment before blinking rapidly. "Oh! Uh, yeah, sure! That sounds fun!" A large smile lit up her face and she kicked off the heels. "I can go home and grab my brushes. I could pick up some smocks too and…" her excitement faltered and she looked at Esme apprehensively. "I'm sorry, what would you like me to do?"

Alice seemed just as startled as she was. "Bellyache, are you okay?"

Bella nodded vigorously. "Yes! I'm fine! I just don't know what I should be doing." She winced. "Sorry. I just...I guess I need a bit of direction." She sounded embarrassed, and she ducked her head as the vampires stared at her.

Esme recovered quickly. "I have brushes and smocks, we could use those, or if you'd prefer your own you're more than likely to get them."

Brown eyes clouded over for a moment, as though Bella was somewhere else. Her brow furrowed and it was as though she was staring straight through Esme. "We shouldn't waste time...there's not much of it left." She blinked and her eyes once again became focused. "We can use the ones you have...if that's okay."

Alice and Esme exchanged glances, both confused as to the girl's cryptic response and the way she quickly bounced back.

Esme thought about asking her but decided not to. Bella often had little lapses like that. She'd become unfocused, as though she weren't actually with them, as though she were listening to someone or seeing something.

Emmett had asked her about it once in front of the family. Esme was certain she had never seen Bella as infuriated and scared as she was in that moment.

"I'm just thinking! It's completely normal!" She had been so defensive with her hunched shoulders and her hands balled into fists. Bella had looked like a cornered animal, eyes darting around frantically and her body tensed as though she were preparing to be attacked.

Often her eyes would fall on Carlisle, staring at him in suspicion and slight distrust. It had confused Esme, but Alice had later told her that Bella didn't like doctors. She didn't like doctors and she didn't like hospitals.

The only one who didn't look surprised by her outburst was Rosalie. She knew something that even Alice didn't, which was another surprise to all of them.

Her daughter had spoken gently to her. "It's okay, Bella. We know it's normal. He didn't mean anything by it." And when Bella let Edward take her home it was Alice that questioned Rosalie.

"What was that?"

Rosalie had become surprisingly defensive as well. "It was nothing." Her voice was hard but her eyes were soft. "I know you two are best friends, but for once, don't go sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

No one spoke of the incident after that.

'It makes her uncomfortable. I won't mention it.' Esme thought before smiling at Bella. "I'll get the supplies." She turned to Alice. "Would you like to paint with us?"

Alice spoke to quickly and quietly for Bella's ears to pick up. "I don't want to spoil a bonding moment." She raised her voice. "Actually, Jasper and I are going shopping. You two have fun!"

Bella looked slightly panicked when Alice zipped out of the house. Esme could hear her heartbeat increase and her breaths became slightly more shallow.

"Bella?" The girl looked at her with wide eyes, swiping her palms against her jeans and cautioning a shaky smile.

"Sorry, I'm just...I don't know."

Esme stepped forward, gently taking her clammy hands in hers. "Do I make you nervous?"

She inhaled sharply and looked away from her. "Uh, it's not you." She grumbled before glancing at her. "I just need to get this right, you know?" Bella swallowed thickly before continuing. "I'm not very good at a lot of things." She straightened and gripped Esme's hands a little more tightly. A large smile brightened her features. "But I'm good at art. This is my chance to make you proud."

Bella looked excited, ready, and eager to prove her worth.

Her words hit like a sledgehammer. "Is that what this is about? My approval?"

Bella frowned at her, as though the question she asked was absurd. "I just want to make you proud of me. I want you to keep liking me."

Esme felt her eyes burn. "Why wouldn't I keep liking you?" The girl looked away from her and shrugged. "Did Renee-"

Bella paled and pulled away from her. "We should start painting." Esme bit her lip, stopping herself from asking anymore questions, and gathered the art supplies.

Bella seemed restless. She tapped her thumb against the side of her index finger rapidly and shifted from one foot to the other. Esme refrained from asking what troubled her. She wanted to put the girl at ease. She wanted to find a way to show Bella that she had nothing to prove, that she could trust in her.

Esme tied her smock around her waist, sliding some paints over to Bella before she turned on the radio.

Southern nights

Have you ever felt a southern night?

Bella rolled up her sleeves, peering curiously at the radio before dipping her brush in the paint. "My dad likes this song. He goes fishing with Harry and plays it in the background."

Esme smiled. "That's nice. It's a good song." She wasn't artistic, not like Alice and Bella, but she found she had an affinity for painting landscapes. She adjusted her easel, eyeing Bella as the girl did the same. "Have you taken an interest in high heels?"

Her cheeks burned red, and Esme had to refrain herself from inhaling her scent. Bella smelled sweet, far better than most humans, and she was ashamed how much having the human around tested her control.

"I wanted to work on my coordination," Bella grumbled, and Esme held her breath as she looked down at her own canvas. "It's...pretty frustrating being so useless and helpless all the time."

This made her eyes widen. "Useless?"

She clenched her jaw, not looking up from her canvas as she spoke. "James...he used Renee to get to me and I don't even…" she trailed off, looking overwhelmed for a moment before she shook her head. "Let's just say she...we struggled a lot. But I still love her...even though I don't think I should."

'What did she do to you?' Bella looked fragile in a way Esme had never seen before. She looked troubled, hands shaking slightly as she splattered paint across her canvas.

"She raised you," Esme spoke slowly, trying to gauge Bella's reaction. "Even if she wasn't the best mother, it's only normal that you feel love for her."

"I guess." She grumbled, clearly wanting to drop the subject.

"What happened with James...that doesn't make you useless." Bella looked at her with wide eyes. "You're surrounded by powerful vampires. That man was a monster, but you faced him to save your mother. I thought that was very brave of you." She told her truthfully.

She hated how off guard Bella looked from the praise she had just been given. "Edward was upset with me and Rose said I was a self-sacrificing idiot-"

"Rose shouldn't have said that." Esme knew she'd have to have a talk with her prickly daughter soon. "Edward was worried and so was Rosalie. She hides it with harsh words she doesn't mean, but that doesn't make it acceptable and that doesn't make it right." She began blending some of her red and orange paint onto her canvas. "Edward can be a bit much. Don't let either of them make you feel bad. You were so courageous-"

"But they were right." Bella's eyes were wet and her voice quivered. "I was stupid going in there alone. I could have died!"

Esme slammed her paintbrush against the counter, instantly berating herself when she saw Bella flinch in surprise. "You shouldn't have gone by yourself, but you're not stupid for wanting to protect someone you love. They're stupid for not being able to see how strong you are."

The girl was quiet for a moment, blinking rapidly and rubbing at her eyes before a shaky laugh escaped her. "Did you just call Rosalie and Edward stupid?"

This made her laugh in surprise. "That's your biggest takeaway?"

"I don't think I've ever heard you say 'stupid' before."

"Well," Esme smiled and crossed her arms over her chest. "They're both being very stupid. They worry too much." Though, she worried just as much for Bella. But she had always found the human's tenacity to be admirable. "Let them know whenever they're bothering you. Rose will act like she doesn't care but she'll take it to heart. And Edward will trip over himself apologizing."

Bella gave her a small smile before looking back down at her painting. "Yeah...thank you."

They painted in silence for a moment before Esme asked, "Is there another reason you were practicing in those heels?" Her voice had a teasing tilt to it. "Perhaps to impress someone?"

Her cheeks burned red and Bella began to tap her index finger and thumb together. "Erm, I was just...it was just a dumb dream I had." She sighed and shook her head. "It's stupid." Esme looked at her, silently imploring her to continue and she did. "This girl, she shows up and," her face burned brighter. "Well, a lot of times she's nice. But she also teases me a lot, and we were both arguing about who was taller and...it was stupid. So was trying on those devil heels."

Esme couldn't help but coo at her. "That's not stupid at all! That's cute, Bella. Almost as cute as you." She reached out and tapped the tip of her nose, making the human laugh quietly and bat her hand away.

"I'm not cute. I'm scary and murderous." She said it as though it were an inside joke, one that was lost on Esme but made her smile nonetheless. She was glad Bella was becoming more comfortable around her.

"So, this girl, she shows up a lot in your dreams? Is she an old friend of yours?" Bella looked absolutely mortified by the question, and Esme reached out to take her hand. "I'm sorry, I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm just curious. You seem very fond of her."

Her heartbeat increased and she averted her gaze. "Yeah, an old friend."

Esme gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Do you miss her?"

Bella looked up at her with watery eyes and a pained look on her face. "I miss her so much." A shaky breath escaped her. "I wish…" she released Esme's hand and straightened. She blinked away her tears and looked back down at her painting. "I'm almost finished."

If she wanted to drop it, then Esme was more than okay with dropping it. "I'm already finished. I'm not very artistic but-" she tensed up when Bella walked around her canvas to get a look.

Bella's eyes widened and she gave Esme a beautiful smile. "It looks amazing." The vampire relaxed, feeling silly for getting so worried about Bella's reaction. Her painting was of a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean. The sun was setting in the background, and a few stars dotted the sky overhead. She hadn't meant to paint it, but the place was a special one to her.

"This is where Carlisle found me," Esme said quietly. "He saved my life, and I've never been happier."

Bella looked at her in shock. "Did...did someone hurt you?"

Shame had once kept her silent, but she loved Bella. She loved her so much she couldn't help but be truthful when answering. "It wasn't someone. It was me." Before she could continue Bella threw herself at her. She hugged Esme so tightly the vampire felt her eyes burn with unshed venom.

Bella pressed her head against her chest and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Esme cupped the back of her head and slipped her arm around her shoulders. "Why are you apologizing?" Tears were streaming down the girl's cheeks, and she sniffled as she opened her eyes to look up at her.

"I'm sorry you ever felt that way. You're wonderful." She choked out. "I'm glad you're here now."

A quiet sob slipped from her lips. "I am too." She kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad I'm here with you." Bella looked at her with wide eyes and her bottom lip quivered. "I love you, Bella. I hope you know that."

The girl was trembling in her arms and more tears fell. "I-I love you too." She stammered, clinging onto her tighter, and burying her face into her shoulder.

They stayed like that for a while. Bella cried into her shirt while Esme cradled her to her chest and whispered words of comfort to the girl. The love she felt for Bella was overwhelming. She couldn't imagine life without her.

She was brave and strong and funny and lovely. 'And scared. My disapproval terrifies her.' When Bella pulled away she wiped her eyes and gave a tired laugh.

"Ugh, sorry, I got you all gross-"

"Bella." Esme cupped her face in her hands. "You're wonderful. I don't care if you cry on me, alright?" She kissed her forehead before releasing her.

Another laugh escaped her. "Okay, stop, you're going to make me cry again." She rubbed her eyes once again, meeting Esme's sheepish smile with her own small one. "Right. I'll finish my painting and then we can...I don't know, do whatever you want."

Esme watched as Bella picked up her paintbrush. "May I see yours?" The girl froze before nodding slowly and stepping aside.

Bella's painting was a bit unsettling but beautiful. A woman shrouded by shadow made up the background. Her hair was made of long, black tendrils, and her eyes were white slits.

In the middle was a brown-haired girl. She had no face, but she was on her knees with her arms stretched out. There was a light glow around her, and the tendrils were reaching for her.

However, there was another girl. Like the brunette, she had no face. Her hair was long and blonde. She wielded a large sword in one hand and had her free hand outstretched to the brunette.

The blonde had a gold light surrounded her, casting out the shadows, and making the black tendrils recede. She was clearly saving the brunette from whatever monster imprisoned her.

Esme looked at Bella with wide eyes, but the girl wasn't looking at her. She was staring at the painting longingly. "It's just something I dreamed about." She murmured. "A strong warrior saving a princess from the monster."

The vampire nodded slowly before asking, "Do they live happily ever after?"

Bella bristled at the question. "They're not...it's not like that!" She snapped. "That's...strange." She said quietly, and Esme knew better than to question her further. "But...regardless of what they are to each other," she looked up at her, "I do think they live happily ever after."

"Esme?" She tore her gaze from the painting.

"I...I couldn't bring this with us to London." She murmured. "Thinking about Bella hurt and...she didn't want this painting. She looked so sad when she painted it. She told me to keep it safe for her so I did. But I couldn't bring it to London. I left it in the car and, you know, I never drive it, why is that?" She asked no one in particular. "Well, anyways, Bella did such a lovely job I couldn't let her throw it out."

"Mother," Jasper said softly, but she paid him no mind.

"I should have asked her about it. I didn't. I didn't want to push, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I think she wanted me to ask. But I didn't." She rambled. "Carmen's always been good at that. Pushing when necessary. I wish I had pushed a little more...maybe that would have done her some good."

Carlisle turned onto the gravel road. "If we had more time...I'm not sure a push would be necessary." He said quietly. "It would have come naturally, I think."

Esme gave him a doubtful look. "I'm not so sure. She always feared that she'd be a burden. She wouldn't open up about something that hurt her, not unless we made it clear that we wanted to hear it." She looked back down at the painting and gently traced the blonde woman with her thumb. "This painting, I know it's of Bella and her mother. But the blonde woman, I thought it was Rose at first, but it can't be. Her hair is too straight and too long."

Her mate looked at her in surprise. "You thought it was of Rosalie?"

"Rosalie saved her from those men in Port Angeles." She murmured. "She and Alice may have been the closest, but Rose knew things that none of us did. Rose knew how to take care of her. Bella adored her."

He nodded slowly. "Yes…Rosalie protected her from everything. Even Edward."

A quiet sigh escaped Jasper. "Even me."

Esme remembered that night vividly. "I nearly attacked her too." She murmured. "That's why I had to stay away. I couldn't protect her or comfort her." Her eyes burned with unshed venom. "I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye." So many regrets, but what good are they? They'll provide no solace, no explanations, only hurt.

The house came into view. "No, this is wrong." Alice's voice made Jasper perk up. "Carlisle, you have to turn around. You three can't be here–Kate no!" A flash of blonde burst into the side of the car, blowing out the back door and slamming into Jasper.

The force blew the doors off the hinges, and Jasper and Kate burst out from the other side of the car. The soldier snarled in surprise, grappling with the warrior as they rolled around on the ground.

Alice came rushing out of the house, teeth bared as she went to attack Kate. She was intercepted by Irina, who darted out and grabbed her foot, yanking her to the ground and pinning her down.

"Don't get involved." The blonde growled, looking conflicted at the battling vampires. Alice struggled from beneath her cousin, trying and failing to break free as she screamed at the older Denali to stop.

Esme and Carlisle quickly got out of the car when Emmett barreled out of the house. "Kate, stop!" The warrior had pinned the soldier, and her hands wrapped tightly around his throat.

Esme tried to move towards her son but Carlisle held her back, giving her a firm shake of his head before speaking up. "Kate, why are you attacking him?" She ignored him, looking at Jasper with wild eyes. It looked as though she was trying to hold herself back from maiming him.

"An eye for an eye, Carlisle." She snarled, using one hand to grip Jasper's wrist. "A wrist for a wrist." With a sharp twist, she yanked Jasper's hand off his arm. He screeched in pain and Kate tossed the appendage aside.

Wrist for a wrist? Does she mean what he did to Bella? "Please, Kate. Stop this." Esme begged.

Emmett was about to help his brother when Tanya pushed past him. "Katrina!" Her sister froze, growling loudly as she loosened her grip on Jasper's throat. "Let him go." The warrior lingered for a moment longer before getting off the soldier.

"We can't stay here!" She ranted. "We need to go back to Alaska!"

Irina got off Alice, who rushed to her husband's side and embraced him tightly once he clambered to his feet. She was quick to snag his hand and help him put it back on, shooting a glare at Kate as she did so.

Tanya gave her sister a stern look. "That's enough. Go get Edward, and calm yourself." She braced her sister's shoulders. "Bella will be back soon. She'll need you." This made the warrior's anger melt away.

"You're right." She murmured, stalking to the back of the house, but not before casting another sneer in Jasper's direction.

The garage door opened, and the extremely loud music that had been playing was shut off. Rosalie emerged, looking extremely grumpy as she moved, what looked to be a projector, to the back of the garage.

Her daughter wore overalls with grease stains on them with a loose t-shirt underneath. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and, despite not dressing fashionably, she still wore a pair of nice black heels.

"What is all the commotion..." Rosalie trailed off when she saw her. "Mom." She sounded so relieved, so pleased to see her that Esme couldn't help but give her a teary smile. Her daughter hadn't tried to cover up her excitement at her return, and it made her feel so warm inside that she nearly cried.

Rosalie rushed into her arms, hugging her tightly and for longer than she usually did. With all the stress of seeing Bella and trying to make amends with her, coupled with Kate attacking Jasper, getting this warm greeting from her usually apathetic daughter was just what she needed.

"I missed you," Rosalie murmured before pulling away and hugging Carlisle.

Her husband was taken aback but hugged her just the same. "We missed you too." He kissed the top of her head before pulling away. "Your brother called us. Have you seen Bella-"

Tanya bared her teeth at him. "Honestly, Carlisle, I thought you were smarter than this. Leaving a human alive with the knowledge of our existence is punishable by death. You were a member of the Volturi for christ sake."

"Where is she?" Esme pressed, relieved that they knew of her whereabouts.

Irina spoke up. "She's fine. But you should all leave."

Jasper shook his head. "Not until I know she's safe."

Kate appeared from behind the house. "She's safer with you gone." She hissed, dragging Edward's body with her.

Esme's mouth fell open in horror when she noticed that his head was facing the complete opposite way.

She glanced at Rosalie, who looked at the mind reader with disdain. Emmett had a similar look on his face but he couldn't look at the body for long. Jasper looked just as surprised as Carlisle did, and Alice only had eyes for Jasper.

A tiny laugh escaped Irina while Tanya gave her sister an eye roll. "Kate." The warrior huffed before ripping his head off, making Esme flinch. Kate licked her palm and smeared the venom on his neck before reattaching his head properly.

He was still limp, and it took him a moment before his eyes blinked and he came to. The warrior then shoved him away, lips curling in disgust as he fell to his knees.

Carlisle looked furious. "What have my sons done to deserve-"

"Father." Edward looked rattled, but his voice was filled with resignation. "I deserve the treatment I've received." His eyes were black from a lack of feeding and his body was trembling.

Esme went to his side. "What did you do?" She crouched next to him, placing her hand on his shoulder as he regained his bearings. His eyes were pitch black with dark circles beneath them. He was starving. How long have they had you like this? What could you have possibly done?

Her son's eyes watered. "I...what I did was unforgivable. But I truly hope you don't think less of me for what I did." He took a breath before he continued. "The night we left I led Bella out to the woods. I lied to her. I told her I didn't want her. That she wasn't good for me." Esme's eyes widened at the confession. "When I left she got lost in the woods...she would have gotten hypothermia if Sam hadn't found her." His voice was thick with exhaustion and sorrow and Esme stepped away from him in surprise.

"Why...why would you do that?" Panic rose within her chest and she was now searching frantically for the girl. "Where is she? Kate, please tell me where she is."

This is wrong. She probably thinks we don't love her.

Esme thinks of the cliffs. She thinks of how alone she felt after the death of her infant. She tried to fly, tried to soar straight up to heaven to be with him. Even when her body was spiraling to the ground she had closed her eyes and spread her arms as though she would fly into her baby's open arms.

Dying felt easier than living. Maybe it was. But that feeling, that bottomless pit of grief and sorrow and loneliness wouldn't go away. So she had taken matters into her own hands.

"I'm sorry you ever felt that way."

Did Bella ever feel that way? Did we make her feel that way? Her eyes watered and she looked away from her son. Did I ever make her feel that way? Hopeless and alone? Isn't that how Renee made her feel?

Nausea curled in her stomach and for a moment she was certain she would vomit.

The warrior glared at her disdainfully. "She's with Eleazar and Carmen." She then went to her sister's side. "Tanya, we have to move. I can't be under the same roof as them. I won't." She growled, and Tanya cast a glare in her direction.

"I need you to relax.

The familiar scent of Carmen washed over her and she straightened. However, the woman came alone, and she came with black eyes and bared teeth. "You!" Esme's eyes widened at her hostility. Carmen made a move to go towards her when Tanya stepped in front of her.

"Carmen." The Denali spoke to her gently, putting both hands on her shoulders and forcing her to look at her. "We've had enough chaos for right now." Why is she upset with me? What is happening?

None of that mattered. All that mattered was finding Bella and making things right. She would assure her that she never wanted to leave. That she had to pick between her and her sons and she couldn't have her family split up, not again.

But didn't I split us up when I left Bella behind? She needed me. But Edward needed me, so did Jasper. But did they need me more than Bella? I just need to apologize. I just need to tell her I love her and that I won't leave her again. It's not that simple. But she wished it was.

Esme looked around. "Where's Bella and Eleazar?"

---

"Daddy, look!" Bella held up her hastily drawn picture with a proud smile. "It's my friend, Katrina!"

Charlie smiled, sitting next to his daughter and examining the picture for himself. "Katrina, is she a friend from school?" It was a drawing of a brown-haired girl, Bella, with a blonde-haired girl, Katrina. They were standing in the forest, Katrina with a sword in one hand and her other hand was holding Bella's.

They were crudely drawn stick figures, but adorable nonetheless.

The child shook her head, and her pigtails moved with her. "No." She then looked at the picture. "I scared her when we first met. She thought I was a monster, so she attacked me with her sword. But it didn't hurt, and now we're friends."

"Where'd you two meet?"

Bella gave him a look, as though he should already know the answer. "The forest!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms up in exasperation. "I told you that already!"

Charlie wondered if Katrina was an imaginary friend.

A soft laugh escaped him. "Sorry, Bells. I promise to work on my listening skills."

The six year old eyed him for a moment before she deemed his apology worthy. "Okay." She turned to look at the television and wrinkled her nose. "Do we have to watch football?"

He chuckled and swooped her off her feet. She squealed gleefully as he plopped her into his lap. "Would you get mad at me if I told you that we're going to a football game tomorrow?"

Bella's face turned red and she scowled. "Are we?" Her anger quickly melted away and she sighed. "Mommy doesn't like football, so I don't either."

He pursed his lips at that before giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Well, daddy likes football. Tomorrow, could you like it for me?"

His daughter mulled it over for a moment before sighing dramatically. "Go on without me." A small laugh escaped him. He didn't know where she got those lines from, but they never failed to entertain him.

"Go on without you? How could I?" Bella looked at him in confusion. "You're my best friend."

Her eyes widened. "I am? Are you teasing me?" She questioned. "I thought Harry was your best friend."

Charlie leaned in closer to her ear. "Well, I like you more. But don't tell Harry, I don't want to hurt his feelings." They both giggled and Bella smiled widely at him.

"Well, since I'm your best friend...I guess I'll go with you." The man cheered, jumping to his feet and swinging his daughter around excitedly.

"Yes! This will be so much fun!"

Bella laughed. "Daddy, I'm getting dizzy!" He stopped swinging her around, smiling just as widely as she was. She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder. "You're my best friend too." She whispered. "Don't tell mommy, but I like you more."

Tears pricked his eyes and he held her tightly to his chest. He only saw her once every six months for a week. He wanted to see her more, but Renee wouldn't budge. Charlie got to be the fun parent, but he wanted to be so much more than that.

"Daddy, are you crying?" Bella pulled away. With clumsy hands she wiped his tears away, bumping his nose with a little more force than she meant to and making him wince.

"They're happy tears, Bells." He assured her. "I meant what I said. I can't go on without you. Nothing would be fun." He forced himself to give her a teasing smile. "I'd be a cranky bear all the time."

She giggled and kissed his nose. "A cranky papa bear?"

"The crankiest papa bear."

A strange look crossed her face, and her eyes became unfocused. "Even if I'm gone, you have to be a strong papa bear, okay?"

Goosebumps bit at his skin and he looked at her with wide eyes. "What?"

"I'll only be gone a little while. But I'll come back." She murmured before she blinked and grinned, as though she had said nothing. "Even when I go away, I always come back. Right, daddy?"

Charlie stared numbly at the door, tears burning his eyes as he clutched his dad mug to his chest. "Right, baby. You always come back." He whispered, suppressing a sob as he took a sip from his mug.

He leaned against the table, liquor sitting in his dad mug and a bowl of mint ice-cream on the table.

"C'mon, Bells," he murmured, swinging his arm out blindly behind him to grab his chair. "It's melting." His hand found the back of his chair and he pulled it closer to him. Tears burned his eyes as he collapsed into his seat. "You hate melted ice-cream."

He watched the door, taking a drink, and welcoming the burn that scorched the back of his throat. Shaky hands set the mug down and he rubbed at his eyes. "This...all of this is like a bad dream." Heat flooded his body, but it wasn't the welcoming warmth he was used to. He was too restless to feel the alcohol do its usual tricks. "It's like...like this never ending nightmare, and I can't wake up." Charlie rested his elbows on the table and ran his fingers through his hair. "I want to wake up, so badly."

His fingers curled into his hair and he gave a useless tug. "Why can't I wake up?" A slight breeze touched his skin and he jolted upward, looking up in disbelief at the woman that stood before him.

She was beautiful, unnaturally so. Long brown hair went a little past her shoulders. Her face was smooth and pale, free of blemishes and imperfections. Gold eyes peered at him, a mix of curiosity and sadness. She wore a simple white dress and her hands were folded behind her back, as though she feared to touch him.

"Bella." Charlie breathed, tears streaming down his face as he reached out blindly towards her. He managed to catch some of her dress, but he wanted to take her hand.

"Dad." She murmured. Even her voice sounded holy. Too perfect. "You have my ice-cream."

A broken sob escaped him. "I do! I do. Just like I said I would!" He released her dress and pushed the bowl towards her. "I'm sorry, I didn't want you to see me like...I'm not drunk but I'm not sober. I didn't...I wasn't-"

Bella rounded the table and sat in the chair next to him. "Dad." She said again, offering him a small smile. "I'm so happy to see you."

She's here. She's home.

"I-I waited up for you every night. So many melted bowls of ice cream." A shaky laugh escaped him. "You took your time." He reached out to touch her but stopped. "You're...I'm dreaming, aren't I."

His daughter gently took her hand in his. Skin cold as ice. Like a corpse. "Dreaming? Is that what you think?"

"I don't know." He confessed. "But I'm scared that it is." He looked at her hand still firmly holding his. "Your skin, why is it so cold? What happened to your eyes?"

She stared at him for a moment. "How have you been?" Everything was warm and fuzzy and he hardly noticed that she had avoided his question.

"Better now that you're back." Charlie gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Hard as stone. "Where...what happened to you?"

Bella looked away from him. "Can I be honest with you?" He nodded earnestly and she withdrew her hand from his. "I came here wanting to give you peace of mind. But I don't know how to do that."

Panic seized him and he sat up straighter. "You being home gives me peace of mind."

She gave him a sad smile. "I can't stay."

The quiver in his voice made her grimace. "Will you come back?" Bella didn't answer him. Instead, she took his hand and placed it over where her heart should have been. Nothing. "Are you…" Charlie couldn't bring himself to say it.

His daughter remained silent.

"Bella."

She closed her eyes and released his hand. It dropped limply to his side. "My heart no longer beats. I'm…" her eyes opened and looked at anything but him. "I've moved on. I'm sorry."

His chest ached. "No...Bells-"

"You can stop your search." She placed her hand on his arm. "My killer is dead. I'm at peace, and you can be too."

Something within him shattered. "No! You're lying!" Tears poured down his cheeks and he ripped away from her. "Bella isn't dead! She can't be!" He stood up, completely inconsolable as he turned away from the cold hands that reached out to him. "She's not–" his voice broke and a soft sob escaped him. "She was so good. She didn't deserve this."

His head was spinning and his vision was blurry. Instinct caused him to grab his mug. Liquor sloshed around and spilled out of it as Charlie stumbled, falling to his knees, but no amount of pain could compete with the one that ravaged his chest.

He held his mug to his chest, trying to rid himself of the pain and failing to do so.

It was all-encompassing. It created a numbness in his limbs, a numbness in his mind. He felt as though he couldn't breathe. A dream. That's all this is. But dreams didn't hurt like this. Dreams weren't this vivid.

A ragged cough escaped him. It shook his entire body, and he dug his short nails into the hardwood as he tried to keep himself from collapsing. Maybe I'm hallucinating.

"I'm not lying," Bella said quietly, getting on her knees so that she was beside him. "Dad, I'm happy now. You have to believe that." Her voice was thick with emotion, and Charlie looked at her.

"I...Bells, I can't do this without you." He croaked. "It's like I'm dreaming and I can't wake up."

Bella's eyes welled with tears. "You can do this without me. You're my strong papa bear, right?" She gently cupped his face in her hands. Her thumbs brushed away his tears and another sob slipped past his lips. "All those years of wiping my tears away...for once I'm glad I can return the favor."

He held her hands to his face. "You've always taken good care of me." His voice was rough from crying and congestion. He almost wanted to push his daughter away. Her cold skin was a reminder of the truth. And yet, he couldn't let her go.

"And you've always taken good care of me." She said before pulling away.

"Bella-"

His daughter stood to her feet. "I have to go." Her face twisted in agony, yet no tears fell.

"Go?" He croaked.

"Dad, I have to go. I'm so sorry."

He scrambled to his feet. "You can't go. You just got here." You're all I have.

"You can't leave me again." You're everything.

Bella gave him a heartbreaking smile. "Take care of Leah and Seth, alright?" She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "And take care of yourself."

"Bella! You can't go! You didn't...you didn't eat your ice-cream. You didn't stay long enough. Please. Please don't leave. I need you."

Charlie reached for her and she stepped away. "I love you, dad." And then she was gone.

"Bella!" He wailed, looking around wildly but finding no trace of her. More tears cascaded down his cheeks as he stumbled around the house. "Bella!" He burst into her room, sobbing uncontrollably when he found it was empty.

"I want to wake up! Please! Wake me up!" He wasn't sure who he was screaming to. God? The universe? Bella? Himself? He didn't know. All he did know was that he was given no answer.

It was a never ending nightmare. He collapsed into her bed, holding one of her pillows to his chest and muffling his cries into it. A never ending nightmare. She's dead. She's gone. His body was shaking and bile rose at the back of his throat.

She died alone. I couldn't save her. I couldn't protect her. Her killer is dead. But so is she. Charlie couldn't find peace. That was an impossibility. The person he loved more than anything was dead.

Inevitably, as they always did, his thoughts began to stray. Rope. Knives. Bullets. Bella. He stared up at the ceiling numbly, waiting for the thoughts to pass and sobbing when they didn't.

I can't find peace. But I know how to wake up.

---

"You did well," Eleazar assured her, hugging her tightly and making a soft sob escape her. Bella could hardly remember her father, but seeing the pain and pleading in his eyes had broken her down.

That mug. I gave that to him but when? Charlie had held it to his chest as though it were a stuffed animal. It was as though it was his way to cling onto her.

It was at this moment that she was grateful she couldn't remember.

"Carmen and I will be having dinner with him on Friday, so there's no need to worry. We'll see how he's doing." Eleazar assured her, kissing the top of her head in a way that was achingly familiar. "Is there anything you need before we go home?"

Bella held him for a moment longer before pulling away. "No...thanks for coming with me." Carmen had offered to come as well but Bella had sent her away. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle the comfort the older woman gave her. Not after everything with Esme.

"Of course, novia." He murmured, giving her a gentle smile and running back with her to the house.

Bella pushed Charlie from her mind and tried to ignore the guilt that ate away at her. It's not my fault I'm a vampire. But he can't find out. It's better this way. Now he can move on.

"Do you think you could teach me Spanish?" She asked as they arrived at the house.

Before he could respond she heard an achingly familiar voice. "Bella?" The two appeared from the clearing to see...Esme?

Her hair was the color of caramel, framing her heart-shaped face and making her gold eyes appear brighter, contrasting against her pale skin. She was a little taller than Alice, not as petite but still slender, and her face was softer and less angular much like Carmen's.

At first, she was the only new arrival that she noticed. Her sisters and mate were in front of Carmen while Rosalie and Emmett were at the woman's side.

Esme.

Bella looked away from her. "Another memory." She grumbled but froze when she noticed the memory looking right at her.

"Bella," Kate and Irina came up to her but Bella stepped away, filled with panic. I need to leave. I need to leave now.

Renee's voice lingered in her mind. "I can't keep putting up with this. You were supposed to be better."

"I-I am better." A younger Bella stammered. "I was just-"

"Just what, Bella? You shouldn't be drawing pictures of this girl, anymore. The doctors said you were better, so why aren't you acting like it?"

"Mom, I'm sorry! I didn't think this would make you mad-"

"What makes me mad is that my daughter can't seem to get these sick perversions out of her head. What the hell is the matter with you?" A laugh devoid of humor echoed in her mind. "Is that princess supposed to be you? Trapped in a tower? Is that how you feel? Trapped? After everything I've done for you? And that girl, Cathrine, is she supposed to be your hero? Your savior?"

"Stop." Bella's voice was shaky and she hated how pitiful she sounded. "This isn't real. She can't be real!"

Emmett looked at her sadly. "Bella-"

"Shut up, Emmett! I'm not fucking talking to you!" She snarled, unable to take her eyes off of Esme. "This isn't happening. You left. You shouldn't be back here." Her eyes filled with tears and she shied away from her mate's touch. I need to leave. I can't be here. I can't be anywhere near here-

Carmen's soothing voice brought her back. "Mi dulce niña, estoy aquí." [My sweet girl, I'm here.] Bella tore her gaze away from the heartbroken expression that Esme wore. Carmen slowly approached her, and Bella wanted so badly to lash out at her. She wanted to send her away. But she couldn't.

"Sometimes they comfort me...they make me feel better." A younger Swan murmured. "One of them sounds like a mother should."

Eleazar held one of her hands in his and Carmen reached out to take the other. And for a moment, Bella allowed it. Everything hurt. Everything was falling apart and Carmen and Eleazar were the ones who grounded her.

That was until another voice spoke up. "Bella. I'm so sorry-" she flinched, eyes going wide as she ripped her hands from Carmen and Eleazar's. Her body began trembling when she made eye contact with Jasper.

She could feel the phantom pain of her broken wrist and hear the impact of her back slamming into the mirror. This can't be happening. But it was. He was right in front of her.

Black eyes. Bared teeth. Loud snarls. Bones snapping. Glass shattering. Screaming. So much screaming. Who's screaming?

"No! Stop it! Go away!" She couldn't look at him without seeing the vampire that attacked her.

Who keeps screaming? It's so loud.

"Stay back!"

Oh.

"Why is he back here! Make him leave! I can't do this, I can't!"

I'm screaming.

Bella began hyperventilating, not noticing the bright light that shown on her own skin. Kate was trying to calm her but it wasn't working. Nothing was working.

"Bella, please, it's okay. I'll keep you safe. Come take a walk with me." Kate begged her, and Bella could faintly hear some of the other vampires pleading with her to keep her calm.

I have to escape. I have to go.

Instead of black, the world around her glowed a blinding white, and she disappeared.

AN: 36k. Today I woke up and chose violence. (Sorry for all the rambling but...no I'm not cuz ya'll don't gotta read it!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STOIC! IT'S STILL 11:00 in my state so I didn't miss it!

OKAY PM me if you guys wanna be Discord buddiesss. Everyone thank YeTianshi because he's the coolest and fun to talk to and I realized I could talk to more of you guys if you wanted since you're all fucking phenomenal and fantastic.

Thoughts while writing: There's nothing better than an angry Bella and a ride or die Kate. Denali sisters ft. Bella is my fucking favorite to write because...they're incredible! Bella turning the tables on Edward? That's my sexuality. WE LOVE MAMA CARMEN! Writing a Rosalie and Bella fight feels like a hate crime to myself and gays everywhere. Oh my god I love Carlisle? I hope Charlie's okay! More She-Ra references because this shit didn't feel gay enough as it is. Who the fuck thought bringing Jasper was a good idea? Trying to figure out who tops and realizing that Kate and Bella are obviously switches.

Update: It might take me a hot minute to update again because I'm working on a mass update. Which is all my stories...and possibly new ones. Soooo I'm a quarter of the way there. Also, school is starting back up for me ;_; but I will give you all I HAVE!

To the guest June, you are so fucking cool. That long ass review really pushed me to finish this chapter so thank you. I love you.

Guest: You have a very beautiful and very engaging writing, this is one of the best stories I've ever read, I loved the plot and the way you develop the characters. Congratulations! I wish you much success ! If the writing came out with some mistake, forgive me, I don't speak English; so I used google translator as a guide

This made me light up. I love it. I love you. No mistakes, my friend. I don't speak Slovak and I've made some mistakes with that so I definitely feel you. Translators don't work super great but that doesn't matter. I'm glad you like my writing :)

Stoic's Dream: I DID WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE. NONE OF YOU COWARDS CAN JUDGE ME, I REGRET NOTHING.
Also its come to my attention that some painfully deluded people think this is a Katella story. Nothing could be further from the truth and these people, author inclusive, need to be soundly disabused of this ridiculous notion. Clearly the long game is on Rosella and anything contradictory is merely building to the big reveal. Seriously though, thanks for all the delicious words you put into the world. Love you KorKor

You're going to HELL birthday boy. THIS IS A KATELLA FIC YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT! Seriously thought, you're welcome. Hope your birthday was awesome :D

GaM3Ov3R: The actual secondhand feels I experience whenever anyone in this fic has an emotional moment is almost ridiculous. Honestly, I haven't cried this much since Marley died in MarleyMe. Love this pairing so much. Can't wait for the next chapter xxx Hope your ass isn't too sore after being whooped :D

My ass IS STILL SORE, THANK YOU! I'm so sorry I'm really not trying to make anyone cry! Katella Is love and life. Thank you for inquiring about my ass, no one else gave a shit ;_;

DeputyTimber: Oh buddy it took me forever to work up the courage to leave a comment but I just wanted you to know this is by far one my favorite twilight stories I've ever read. I love your characterization of everyone and all the details and the little things you add like the honeysuckle, and the little games and competitiveness they have that just makes their relationship so tangible and the way you write Rose working through her friendship with Bella and Bella's past love for Rose it's just all so amazing and makes me want to pace the house in excitement whenever I read your updates. Sorry for the word vomit and run on I'm just too lazy for grammar.

Okay, off topic but you know that song that's like "I shot the sheriff but I didn't shoot the deputy." Well, it applies here, dearest Deputy Timber! I love that you want to pace the house when I update! There's no such thing as word vomit on reviews, I love reading everyone's thoughts! You are phenomenal my friend, thank you for your kind words and for working up your courage to leave a comment :)

Really Sappy Girl Shit Because It's Late and I'm A Weepy Bitch: Alright, team. You guys have stepped your review game up so much it's IMPECCABLE! They're so thoughtful and it means so much ;_; like, writing these chapters is fucking hard but you girls and gays and straights have really made it worth it. I enjoy putting my work out there because you guys always treat me well and laugh with me and your reviews are great. I know it's really tough out there with COVID and injustice and all the insanity that's taking place, so I really do hope my chapters can give you guys a little escape from all that. I love you all, please take care and stay safe. Thank you for being fantastic.