Out of Time

by KorKor11

Bella Swan lost her life and then her memory, creating a confused newborn trying to put together the pieces of her missing past. With the aid of Tanya and Irina, she learns to control her vampiric abilities while avoiding the murderous Victoria. But no one can control when time rips her from the present and brings her to Katrina. Kate/Bella. Katella.

11. Chapter 11

"I was very angry in my youth, like most newborns," Irina explained, taking a stick and beginning to draw in the dirt. "But Bela and our mother were always good at keeping me calm." A quiet laugh escaped her and she looked up at Leah. "Tatyana and Katrina got the hang of it, but it took them a little while."

Leah listened with rapt attention, idle fingers toying with the brown leaves on the forest floor. "You and Bella were always close?"

Her imprint smiled, eyes drifting back to her drawing. "From the moment we first met, I knew we were soulmates." A look of guilt appeared. "I was...a mess after our mother died. I ran away...I was just so angry with my sisters for not trying to save her."

The shifter's mirth died at the sight of Irina's pain. "Why didn't they?"

"A heartbreak for another time." The vampire murmured, continuing to draw with her stick.

She nodded slowly, watching the stick as it moved. "You ran away, but you came back, and everything's better now."

Irina chuckled, "If only it were that simple. I did go home, but it took me a while."

"How come?"

"I hurt her. How was I supposed to face her after what I'd done? After how I'd acted?" She stopped drawing. "I had to redeem myself. Of course, Bela never asked that of me, but she deserved better...so I became better."

The shifter was quiet for a moment, looking at what Irina had made. The drawing in the dirt was of a faceless woman holding her hand out.

Leah didn't recognize her, but touch seemed to be symbolic of her character.

Leah had written Bella another letter. Two that were undelivered because Bella hadn't been home in quite some time. Or, she had been home, but not for long, and never long enough for Leah to give her the letters.

Irina placed her hand on top of the one made of dirt.

Fondness burned in gold eyes. "I wonder where she is." She murmured, too quietly for Leah to hear. She then looked up at the shifter, speaking at a normal volume as she asked, "How are Sam and Jake? Still fighting?"

Leah sighed, resting her chin on her fist. "Over bullshit. I know it's the alpha thing, but I don't care. It's annoying."

"It sounds annoying." Irina laughed, reaching out and taking her hand in hers. "But there are worse things. At least you don't have fleas."

She couldn't suppress her small smile as she interlaced their fingers. "Fleas suck blood right? And you're definitely small enough to get lost in my fur-" Irina huffed, retracting her hand and crossing her arms over her chest.

"That isn't romantic!" She complained. "Kate calls Bella her forever girl, and Bella calls Kate her dream girl." She sighed wistfully, making Leah laugh as she took her hand in hers again. "And just the other day Senna brought Tanya a massive bear she had hunted." She smiled and gave Leah's hand a gentle squeeze. "Tanya was so annoyed, but you could tell she liked that Senna was taking care of her."

Of course, my imprint has to be a hopeless romantic.

But Leah wouldn't have it any other way.

"I'll do something romantic for you. But it's a surprise." The way Irina's face lit up made Leah's smile broaden.

It was adorable.

"And I'll do something romantic for you! That way we can both be surprised!"

Leah nodded, cheeks flushing as she chanced a kiss on Irina's knuckles. "I can't wait."

The vampire looked at her with wide eyes, smiling bashfully as she looked away. "Me neither."

When she left Leah stayed, trying to calm her fast heartbeat at the remembrance of Irina's cool skin on her lips.

You're pitiful. It wasn't even an actual kiss.

But she couldn't stop smiling as she stood to her feet and looked up at the stars.

That is until Bella popped back into existence, nearly giving Leah a heart attack.

"Shit!"

The shifter jumped in surprise, eyebrows raised when watery black eyes looked at her. Soft sobs escaped Bella, ones she tried to muffle with her hand but to no avail. She looked miserable.

Broken.

Leah felt her own eyes water.

Your mother...did she...

Bella wore the same face Leah had seen every day in the mirror since the death of her father.

The newborn turned to leave, and Leah moved without thinking. "Bella-" she grabbed her wrist, startled when the vampire whirled on her and snapped her teeth. Leah jumped back, growling instinctively as her body began to tremble.

"Stay away from me!"

Calm down. She's hurt. She doesn't want to hurt you.

"I'm sorry! I only wanted to help-"

Bella hissed at her, shoulders squared and eyes black. "Why would you? I know you hate me!"

Leah's mouth fell open and she felt the tears begin to leak from her eyes. "I...Bella, I don't hate you." She swallowed thickly, taking a cautious step forward. "It's...Sasha, right?"

That was the wrong thing to say.

Her eyes widened and a scream of rage erupted from her throat. "Everyone knew except for me!" Her hands curled into fists. "I watched my mother die! Tatyana ripped off her head and…" her anger faltered. "I threw the rest of her into the fire." Her face became blank, and she stared down at her fists. "I helped kill her. I held her head in my hands...I held her body...and I made sure she could never come back again."

Leah's eyes widened. She hadn't realized it had been so brutal. She couldn't imagine having to aid in the death of her father. She wouldn't be able to stomach it. She wouldn't be able to live with herself.

She bit her lip, taking another step forward. "Bella-"

"What could you possibly have to say to me?" The newborn laughed. "She's just another dead leech. You should be celebrating."

No, I was wrong. I was always wrong. I'm so sorry.

Leah wasn't prepared for her own words to come back to haunt her.

"I was wrong to ever call you a leech, I'm so-"

"You're only sorry because you're fucking a vampire now," Bella said sardonically, making the shifter gawk at her. "You have to retract all your leech-hating sentiments, or else, Irina might not like you anymore."

Rage bubbled to the surface. "Watch your fucking mouth! That's not what this is about!"

"You're right! That's not what this is about!" The newborn snarled. "My mother is dead, Leah! She's dead and I don't care about anything you have to say to me right now!"

Leah suppressed her urge to lash out. Because she knew Bella was speaking from a place of grief. And even if she wasn't, she still had every right to yell at her for all the hurt she caused.

Instead, she sighed and sat down. She began fiddling with the leaves again, keeping her hands busy and trying to collect her thoughts.

"When my dad died...I yelled at you." Leah murmured, sparing a glance at the newborn. "I blamed you for having ever interacted with the Cullens. I said terrible things that I didn't mean because I was hurt. And do you know what you did?" When Bella didn't answer she continued, "You sat down and let me vent. I said all the terrible things I could think of, and you soaked it up like a sponge." Tears filled her eyes and she looked away from her former friend. "And when I finally broke down, when I finally started crying, you were there to hold me. You were there to make me feel better."

Leah finally gained the courage to look Bella in the eye. "You never deserved how I treated you. You never asked me to apologize for what I said. And I never did, because I was too ashamed to confront it. I pretended it didn't happen, and you did too because you didn't want me to feel guilty." She took a breath before saying, "I know your memories aren't back. I know you separate yourself from your human life but...I am so sorry for all the ways that I've hurt you and Swan."

Bella looked away from her, bottom lip quivering as she took a step back. "Leah-"

"I don't expect you to accept my apology. Not now." The shifter reached into her pocket and pulled out the letters. "I'll have to earn your forgiveness, and I plan to...if you'll let me." Bella stared at the letters but said nothing. "I know I've fucked up constantly since you've become a vampire, hell, even before then. And I know forgiving me will take time. But just know that...I'm here if you ever need me."

Again Bella said nothing, and Leah felt more tears fall.

"I...I should have always been here. Like I promised. I just...I got a little lost and–that's no excuse!" She said quickly, still holding out the letters, and her arm was becoming shaky. "But, I'm here now, if that means anything-"

"It doesn't." Her heart dropped. "But you're Irina's mate. And she would be sad if we didn't get along." Bella took the letters and put them into her pocket without a second glance. "So, that means something."

She's not doing this for me. She's doing this for Irina.

Leah swallowed thickly, nodding her head and looking away from the newborn. "I...I can't ask any more from you."

"No. You can't." Bella turned around, about to run into the woods, but something stopped her. Her hands curled into fists. "Does it get any easier?"

Leah was quiet for a moment before answering, "It becomes...manageable."

"Manageable."

"Yeah." She wiped her tears away. "You'll get used to her being gone but it will always feel like something is missing." Leah stared out into the forest. "They say it gets easier with time but the pain never really goes away. It just...dulls until you let yourself think about it again."

"And if you can't stop thinking about it?"

"...I'll let you know when I find out."

Bella sighed, looking back at the shifter. "Harry...I had a memory of him." Her anger melted away, and for a moment she looked like Bella. "He helped me catch a fish." She said simply, and Leah couldn't stop staring at her.

Even without your memories, even though you're a vampire, you're still the girl I called my best friend.

How stupid she had been to look at Bella, the victim of a vampire attack, and think her to be a monster.

You had red eyes and glittering skin, but that was never who you were. I'm so sorry it took me so long to realize that.

Leah swallowed thickly. "He, uh, he loved fishing."

Bella was quiet for a moment before she looked her in the eye. "I'm sorry he's gone. And I'm sorry you're still hurting." She spoke with nothing but the truest sincerity.

Leah's eyes burned. Because, of course, even when Bella was rightfully angry with her, she still extended her kindness.

"I'm sorry about Sasha. I'm sorry that you're hurting, and that I've only added to it." She hesitated before saying, "And I meant what I said earlier. I'm sorry, Swan. I'm sorry, Bella." She bit her lip. "I'm so sorry."

The newborn looked away from her. "I'm still upset with you but...thank you for the apology. Swan appreciates-" she stopped herself, turning to look at Leah with soft, black eyes. "I appreciate it." And with that, she disappeared.

Leah stared after her, unable to fight back her sobs of relief as she hugged her knees to her chest.

Bella took her letters. Bella didn't separate herself from Swan.

They weren't out of the woods. Leah wasn't forgiven.

But it was a start, and that's all she could ask for.

---

"Someone's had a nice night." Tanya chuckled, smiling broadly as Irina skipped over to her and plopped into her lap. She rested her head back on Tanya's shoulder and propped her feet up in Kate's lap.

She was practically swooning.

Kate snickered as Irina smiled dreamily at the two of them. "Did you finally fuck the wolf?"

Her dreamy smile vanished and she scowled at the warrior. "I absolutely did not! You're so terrible!" She crossed her arms over her chest. "When Leah and I take that step, we will make love, Kate."

Tanya made a face and Kate wrinkled her nose. "You're disgusting."

"And you're rude. I wish Bella was here to put you in your place." She muttered, crossing her arms over her chest and closing her eyes. "I'm worried."

Kate winced. "I am too."

Ghost came thundering into the room, barking excitedly and running to the door. His tail wagged erratically and he sat next to the door, tail still thumping against the ground. His whole body wiggled but he tried to contain it, looking up at the doorknob with his large amber eyes.

Irina laughed, slipping out of Tanya's lap and going to the white pup. Though, in size, he wasn't so much a pup anymore. He nearly went up to her waist now. He still had a bit of puppy clumsiness, but he was growing into his large paws and gaining more coordination.

"I know. You miss her too." Irina murmured, standing next to the wolf and stroking his prominent ears. Ghost didn't even look at her, too busy staring at the door.

Does that mean she'll be home soon?

Bella had been gone for an uncomfortably long time.

Kate remembers when Bela had spent a few years straight with their coven. She hadn't disappeared, and while Katrina had enjoyed that immensely, Kate was terrified.

She wasn't sure she'd be able to handle the long stretches of time without her. Not when she had finally gotten her back.

Tanya's phone rang and she frowned, pulling it out of her pocket and huffing when she saw the caller. "God." She answered. "What is it, Senna?" Silence. "I can't see you, so you'll actually have to talk. Think you can do that?"

"I caught a squirrel."

Irina smothered her laugh with her hand, and a wide smile stretched across Kate's lips as Tanya pinched the bridge of her nose.

"That's why you called me?" No answer. "Senna, I swear to God if you don't-" the call abruptly hung up, making Tanya scowl and pull the phone away from her ear. "Ugh! The nerve of that wild woman!" She was fuming. "All I want is to strip her naked and tie her hands behind her back and lick-"

Kate made a disgusted noise. "You know, you can ask her if she wants to sleep with you."

"I did, and she didn't say anything." Tanya groaned. "She clearly wants to, but-"

"She probably wants to be romanced first."

"Irina-"

Tanya's phone rang again, but this time it was a Facetime call.

Their sister narrowed her eyes. "Which one of you damn shits taught her how to Facetime?"

"Not me, fuck ass."

"Not me either, bitch dick."

Tanya cursed under her breath. "Probably Eleazar. Either out of kindness or because he enjoys laughing at others' misfortunes every once and a while." She answered the call, rolling her eyes when Kate and Irina smushed in next to her.

Senna looked was in the forest, frowning at the camera until she saw Tanya's face. "You see me."

"...I do."

The amazon nodded, looking pleased as she held up a black squirrel.

To everyone's surprise, it was alive, resting comfortably on Senna's palm as it nibbled on an acorn.

Tanya was staring at her in disbelief. "Why..."

"Acorns."

"I see the acorns! I just don't understand why you're playing with squirrels!"

Kate couldn't contain her laughter any longer, leaning against Tanya's side as she stared at Senna. "A squirrel tamer! Senna, you continue to impress me!"

Irina was leaning over Tanya's shoulder, smiling widely at Tanya's mate. "Oh! You and that squirrel are too cute!" She cooed. "Aren't they, Tanya?"

Their older sister blinked, looking a bit flustered by the question. "This...this is no reason to Facetime!"

Senna raised a bemused brow but said nothing.

She then frowned, moving to a tree and setting the squirrel on a low-hanging branch. It scampered away quickly.

A loud roar made red eyes roll to the sky in exasperation, and the sisters watched as a large grizzly lumbered up behind her.

Senna turned her head, holding up her index finger at the beast, as though the grizzly understood that it needed to wait until she hung up before it attacked her.

The amazon turned back to the camera, giving the sisters a bright smile and a thumbs up before ending the Facetime call.

Tanya set her phone down, looking a bit dazed, and Kate couldn't help but laugh at her. "Oh, you're smitten!"

"I am not!"

"Are so!"

Irina giggled, moving so she was standing in front of Tanya. "Yes, you are! You want to kiss her, and love her, and marry herrrrrr!" She sang, jumping back with a snicker when Tanya kicked at her leg.

The two began to bicker playfully, and Kate's mind drifted to Bella.

She was happy that her sisters had found their mates and were getting along with them so well. Even though, Tanya kept lying about just how much she really liked Senna.

Seeing her sisters happy made her happy, but it also made her miss Bella.

Her mate had been so lifeless the past couple of days, and they all knew what that meant.

Sasha.

Kate wondered just how much Bella had seen. She wondered how much longer she could pretend that nothing was wrong while Bella wasted away in silence.

Seeing her like that was unbearable.

Seeing her like that is all too familiar.

It reignited the anger she had towards their mother, because Bella should only ever be happy, and Sasha will have broken her heart twice now.

And I can't comfort her until she finds out about our mother and comes home.

Never in her life had Kate felt so useless.

Even when they were all helpless to save Sasha, her death had been sad but not undeserving.

And while her younger self struggled to navigate her own grief as well as her mate's, she had at least tried, despite the many mistakes she made along the way.

But now I know what happens. And until Bella does too, I can't be there for her like I need to be.

The front door opened and Ghost greeted both Rosalie and Alice with happy yips and a wagging tail. Both vampires greeted him in kind, though Rosalie's happiness was muted, just as it always was.

It was a strange little truce the Denali's had with Rosalie and Alice. Bella had forgiven the two, and with that knowledge, the Denali coven became less hostile.

Though each member had their own gripes with the Cullens, Rosalie and Alice were good friends to Bella. And whether they liked it or not, it was clear the girls were here to stay.

Bella needed all the support she could get. Even though Kate was less than happy that Rosalie stayed with them, she would never tell her mate who she could and couldn't be friends with.

"I come with gifts for Bellaaaa." Alice sang, putting her large amount of shopping bags on the kitchen table. "Oh! And for myself!"

Rosalie hummed. "She's not going to like the dress."

The seer blanched. "Why didn't you tell me that when we were still at the mall!" She groaned, "Dammit, Rose. And she would look so cute in it...ugh! Now I have to take it back and-"

"You don't keep receipts, remember?" Her sister drawled, setting her bags next to Alice's. "And I did tell you she wouldn't like it, but you were too busy whining about not being able to use your visions to help you make a decision."

Alice pouted, "I just discovered that I'm an indecisive person. Do you know how difficult it was for me to not look in the future? Especially when I was away from these smelly shifters?" She looked at Irina. "No offense, your girlfriend stinks."

"Hey!"

Tanya nodded. "Really badly."

"Oh yeah? Well..." Irina turned to Rosalie and Alice with a grin. "You two would never believe it, but Senna has tamed our horny little succubus-"

"Wow, real mature!"

"I'm the baby sister, I don't have to be mature!"

Alice laughed, setting her shopping bags on the kitchen table. "Senna is quite the looker-"

Tanya glared at her. "Keep your eyeballs to yourself, Alice."

"Ooh! So you do like her!"

"Just...all of you shut up!"

Kate didn't know how her family could so easily interact with Alice and Rosalie.

The confrontation with the Cullens was still fresh in her mind.

And so were Rosalie's words.

"I've always protected Bella. Whether it be from repulsive humans."

Their eyes met.

"Or vampires. Like you."

"Do you have a staring problem?"

Kate bared her teeth at her. Fighting the urge to rip her head off then and there.

Rosalie had gotten to her. She felt angrier than normal, wanting Bella to come home and never venture into the past again. But she knew that wouldn't happen.

"Rose," Alice muttered, grabbing her sister's hand and pulling her towards the garage. "You're trying to get better, remember?"

The blonde sighed and nodded, stopping to turn to Kate and say, "I apologize for being rude. I've just been on edge with all the drama surrounding my family, as well as being worried for Bella."

Kate bristled at this. "She's not your concern."

Tanya shot her a glare. "Kate. Rosalie is making an effort. It would be nice if you did the same."

Rosalie gave the warrior a knowing look before she turned her attention to Tanya. "It's alright. I understand that Kate is worried about her mate." She glanced at her. "I understand why she's so...bothered by me." Kate's eyes widened and anger spiked in her chest. "But I hope that she understands that she has nothing to fear from me...despite my beauty, I've always behaved myself."

"You little-"

Alice gave her sister a look. "Rose."

"It was a joke." She rolled her eyes. "Well, it's also the truth, but I said it in a joking manner." Rosalie sighed, wincing as she said, "Speaking of the truth...you should talk to Bella about some of the pictures she's drawn. They were...illuminating."

She knows.

Irina looked at her curiously. "What is she talking about?" Tanya was also staring at Kate, waiting for an answer.

Alice, however, grimaced and looked away from Kate.

She knows too. All three of them do. But why hasn't Bella said anything?

Kate glared at her hands.

Because she has bigger problems to deal with in the past. She's already hurting, why would she want to talk about your lies?

Kate was no longer angry with Rosalie, instead, she was angry with herself. She knew she shouldn't have kept Bella's love for Rosalie a secret.

It had come from a place of insecurity.

Fear.

And she knew it was unwarranted, but Rosalie and Bella were already so close. Kate hadn't wanted to dig up the past, or have Bella entertain the idea of Rosalie being her mate instead.

Her insecurity had deep roots. Roots that sprouted and took hold in her human years. She had thought she was above such nonsense, but apparently, old habits die hard.

I have to talk to her about this. Apologize for keeping it a secret. Promise to do better.

Anxiety and guilt began eating away at her.

She had been the one to insist that they communicate with each other. Despite Bella constantly asking about her dislike for Rosalie, she had made up excuses and been secretive about how she felt.

I'm a hypocrite. I'm a liar.

"Kate." Alice garnered her attention. "You made a mistake. It happens."

Her eyes burned black. "Don't talk to me about making a mistake, Alice." The seer winced, looking away from her in shame.

Rosalie bared her teeth at her. "And don't make me humble you again, Kate."

"I screwed up with Bella, and I recognize that. But I haven't traumatized her."

The warrior was on her feet in an instant. "Shut the fuck up before I gut you-"

Tanya was in front of her in seconds. "Stop it." She warned before turning to the Cullens. "Please leave us."

Alice tugged on her sister's hand, preventing her from moving forward. "Rose, let it go." She murmured. Rosalie glared at Kate before letting Alice lead her into the garage.

When they were gone Tanya placed her hand on Kate's shoulder. "Are you alright?"

The warrior shrugged her hand off and stepped away from her. "I'm fine."

"Don't do this. Not again."

She clenched her jaw but said nothing.

Irina moved closer to her. "She got over it really quickly-"

Kate felt her eyes burn with unshed tears. "She was afraid of me, Irina." She could still see the fear in her mate's gold eyes. "She forgave me easily, yes, that's just who she is, but she was still scared whenever I was around. I'm supposed to be her protector. Her warrior. And I…"

I traumatized her.

Tanya sighed, giving Kate an empathetic look. "We all did things we're not proud of, Kate. It was an accident. She knew that. We all did." She clenched her jaw. "After Sasha died...it wasn't like things we're easy. We were all grieving in our own ways."

"Keep your excuses to yourself," Kate muttered. "I'll never use them."

Silence fell over the sisters.

Only to be broken by Ghost. The white wolf's claws clacked against the hardwood, and Kate looked up to see him staring at her. Her turmoil began to subside when the wolf gently pressed his head against her thigh and leaned into her.

The warrior smiled, scratching behind his ears and watching his tail wag. "You're such a good boy. Even when you're a brat." She scooped him up, even though he was getting far too big to be carried. She cradled him, laughing lightly as he licked her cheek and nuzzled into her neck. "My gentle hellhound. My sweet son."

Irina smirked at her. "Careful, Kate. You don't want to baby him, do you?"

She scowled at her. "This is different. He's my son and he's still young." Though, he was nearly the size of a full-grown wolf. "You and Bella babying each other is just ridiculous."

Tanya nodded in agreement. "It's hard to watch."

"Because you're jealous of the bond we share." Irina sniffed. "You couldn't get closer to my newborn, hence all of your failed seduction attempts."

Their older sister smiled smugly at her. "Oh, I wouldn't call those attempts a failure. She was definitely attracted to me. Had you not been there, I certainly would have…" she trailed off, sparing a wary glance at Kate, who was glaring at her. "Been her maker?"

"Nice save." If she wasn't holding Ghost she would have shocked Tanya. Especially since Carmen wasn't there to stop her.

Tanya looked pleased with herself. "I'm known for being notoriously smooth."

"Right." Irina snickered, grinning as she jumped away from her sister's playful swat.

Kate froze, feeling the familiar tug at her chest, and relief flooded her. Ghost barked, loud and deep, and his tail began wagging frantically once again.

Tanya let out a sigh of relief. "She's back, I can hear her-"

"Rina!" The sisters watched in shock as Bella burst into the house, bypassing everyone to fall at Irina's feet.

Her maker looked at her in alarm. "Bella-"

Bella folded her shaky hands in front of her, staring up at her with watery black eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I didn't mean to make you angry with me. I just wanted to keep you safe because...I have seen a life without you in it and it's not one worth living. I couldn't let you die. I couldn't. I'm so sorry please forgive me-"

Seen a life without Irina in it? Does she mean when Irina leaves?

"Maličky." Irina fell to her knees beside her, choking back a sob as she wrapped her newborn into a tight embrace. "Why are you apologizing?"

Tanya looked at Kate apprehensively, but the warrior paid her no mind.

She knows. She saw what happened.

There were dark circles beneath her eyes and they were no longer gold.

When was the last time she fed?

Bella fell into her arms, nearly going limp as she buried her face in the crook of her neck. "I made you angry. I made you hit me and now you're gone and-"

"Bella." Irina breathed, making the newborn go silent. "I should be the one apologizing. I am so sorry. I should have never touched you and...to this day I am still so ashamed of myself." She cried, hugging her even more tightly. "You did everything right. You have nothing to apologize for."

The excited yip from Ghost reminded Kate that she was still holding him. She set him down quickly, watching as he launched himself at Bella, whining loudly and trying to slip between her and Irina.

Bella pulled away from her maker, looking relieved as she gently wrapped Ghost in a hug. "Ghost." She breathed, burying her face in his fur and holding him close. The pup whimpered, ears flattening as he nuzzled into her and licked at any exposed skin he could find.

The newborn huffed out a quiet laugh, pulling back and moving her face away from his kisses. She scratched behind his ear, swallowing thickly as she gently gripped the sides of his face and planted kisses of her own all over his head and ears.

He whined happily, nuzzling into Bella as she continued giving him affection.

She's thirsty. She needs to feed.

But Ghost wasn't in danger. Because if Bella could resist the urge of human blood, then she could do so with animal blood, which had a far less potent scent.

Kate stood there awkwardly, not sure if Bella wanted to see her right now. She knew she owed her so many explanations, but she had missed her mate terribly, and all she wanted was to hold her tight and never let her go.

Stop being selfish. She knows about Rosalie. She knows about Sasha.

"Bella."

The newborn looked up at her, planting one more kiss on Ghost's furry forehead before standing to her feet.

"Kate." She smiled warmly at her, and it was such a relief to see. But just as quickly as her smile came, it fell. "Our mother…" she whispered, bottom lip trembling and eyes filling with tears. "She's...our mother she's…" the hauntingly familiar, vacant stare filled dark eyes. "She's…" her shoulders sagged and she stared down at her hands. "Our mother."

Ghost whined softly, ears pressed to his skull as he sat next to Bella. He leaned his body against her leg, nuzzling her thigh before he stared up at her.

But she didn't move.

Kate reached out to her. "Bella-"

Bella took a step back, not looking up from her hands. "Did you know about Rosalie?"

She swallowed thickly, forcing herself to look at her mate. "Yes."

Bella didn't look up at her. "Oh."

"I'm so sorry I-"

"You didn't tell me about Rosalie." Her voice was hushed as if she didn't have the strength to speak any louder. "And you didn't tell me about Sasha." Her brow furrowed and she blinked rapidly, fighting back tears that would never fall as she looked at all the sisters. "None of you told me about Sasha."

She didn't sound angry.

She sounded betrayed.

She sounded hurt.

Kate's stomach churned and for a moment she thought she was going to vomit. "I should have told you about Rosalie. I'm so sorry that I didn't. I was just-"

"Too busy lying about why you disliked her." There was no longer any emotion in her voice. "You told me that communication was important. But you actively hid this from me."

Kate nodded, blinking back her own tears. "I did. And I'm so sorry. There's no excuse for what I did."

Tanya looked at her. "What is she talking about?"

When Bella didn't answer, the warrior swallowed thickly and spoke up. "When Bella was a human, it wasn't just Edward she was in love with. She...she also loved Rosalie."

It was so difficult for her to get those words out.

Irina's eyes widened. "Oh."

"I...found out when Carmen and I first arrived," Kate muttered. "I saw the drawings. And when I realized Bella was also Bela...I was jealous. Rosalie and Edward were able to experience her human life, just as Bella experienced mine." She curled her hands into fists. "Bella didn't have an attachment to Edward after her memory loss, but she had a strong one to Rosalie, and I resented Rosalie for that."

Tanya frowned. "Bella is your mate-"

"I know!" Kate snapped, clenching her jaw as she glared at her older sister. "But it was Rosalie's voice that she heard all the time. It was Rosalie's memories that she saw. It was Rosalie's room that she was drawn to." Her anger dissipated and she sighed, realizing just how insecure she sounded. "I let all of that get to me. And I shouldn't have."

Bella stared at her. "Is that all?"

She shouldn't have been surprised by her mate's coldness. She had been through a lot lately. But it still hurt. Bella looked at her as though she felt nothing, but Kate knew that was far from the truth.

I need to be completely honest with her if I want to fix this.

"I also kept it to myself because I was ashamed of how angry and insecure I was. I was embarrassed to be vulnerable about something I thought I no longer struggled with."

Bella sighed and her lifeless black eyes looked back down at her hands. "I wasn't very upset by it. But I had a lot of time to think as I watched our mother's trial." She hummed, so calm that it created an eerie atmosphere. "You didn't tell me about Rosalie. You didn't tell me about my mother. What else aren't you telling me?"

Irina interjected. "We couldn't tell you about our mother-"

"But you could tell Leah." She abruptly snapped, looking up from her hands to glare at her maker. "I came back, crying after watching our mother die, and Leah already knows why I'm upset." She looked away from her. "Do you know how humiliating it is…" her voice cracked, "How heartbreaking it is to experience what everyone already knows, and to have them waiting for you to fall apart?"

She reminded Kate of Charlie. Filled with anger and embarrassment and grief at being kept in the dark about something so tragic.

I never wanted you to feel like that. I'm so sorry.

An empty smile spread across her lips. "And it's funny, you know? Because I was trying so hard to keep everyone together through all the screaming matches and the fistfights. That's what our mother said I did best, actively keeping us all together." She laughed. "Shows what she knew, huh?"

"Bella-"

"No, Tanya!" She snarled, losing all her composure in the blink of an eye. "You're going to shut the fuck up and listen to me! You owe me that!" Tanya clenched her jaw but remained silent. "I listened to you go on and on about what a bitch our mother was. So you're going to listen to me now!" Her anger faltered and her eyes watered.

Kate's eyes burned as shame threatened to devour her. "Bella, please. Please just listen. We can explain."

Wet, black eyes looked at her. "I want nothing more for you to hold me but I can hardly stand to look at you." She whispered, and a choked sob escaped the warrior.

Kate could hardly live with herself. The contempt Bella held for her almost mirrored the same contempt she held for Edward.

It was unbearable to know that she could create so much anguish and disgust within her mate. She had made many mistakes in the past, but never had Bella looked at her as she was looking at her now.

"I'm sorry."

Because what else could she say. She wasn't human anymore, but she felt as though she couldn't breathe.

Bella held back a sob as she looked away from her. "You're...you're not my Katrina. She wouldn't do this."

This is what heartbreak feels like.

She was supposed to be there to make things better. She was supposed to hold and comfort Bella as she cried over their mother. But she couldn't even do that.

She wants nothing to do with me.

She looked at Irina. "M-My Rina wouldn't do this either." Slowly, her voice grew louder. "She wouldn't cover up our mother's death and go gossiping to her fucking mongrel about it!"

Irina looked crushed, staring at Bella with wide eyes as her newborn glared at her. Kate was also stunned by her hostility towards her maker.

Even when Irina had slapped her, Bella hadn't raised so much as her voice at her. But now she looked at Irina as though she were evil incarnate. She insulted her mate without hesitation and she showed no remorse in doing so.

"Enough!" Tanya snapped, making Bella fix her glare on her. "You don't get to be cruel just because you're hurt. Do you hear me?"

"Why! That's what everyone else does around here!"

"Don't make me get Carmen. I'm so serious, Bella." Tanya warned. A stern lecture from Carmen had usually been enough to keep the Denali girls in line, but this Bella hadn't yet experienced Carmen's love. She hadn't experienced her as a mother.

Bella's eyes widened, filled with disbelief and hatred. "Do it! Bring her here!" She yelled. "You're not my mother, Tanya! Neither is Renee. Neither is Esme. And neither is fucking Carmen!" She snarled. "Sasha is my mother! My mother is dead! She's dead and you all knew!"

Irina's eyes watered, getting over her initial shock of Bella's anger. "Bella, please listen, we had a reason. We never wanted to hurt you we just-"

"Why does everyone keep saying that!" She roared, curling her hands into fists. Ghost remained steady, not moving an inch despite Bella's rage. "You never wanted to, but you did! All of you did!"

Tanya stepped in front of her, eyes soft but voice firm. "Let us explain-"

"Everyone gets to explain their bullshit stories to me and I'm supposed to listen and have empathy once I hear them." She scoffed. "I'm the one that gets hurt, but it's okay if everyone has a tragic story in their back pocket, ready to go for when I get fucked!"

That feeling returned, one Kate hadn't felt in a long time.

Everything was falling apart.

Bella was hurt, and rightfully so, and Kate didn't know how to make it right. She didn't know how to make the hurt go away. And knowing that she helped cause it felt crushing. Suffocating.

I hurt you again. I'm so sorry.

"Bella!" Tanya snapped, gripping her shoulders, trying to ground the newborn. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and listen to me!"

A low growl escaped Ghost, and the sisters looked down at him in shock as he glared up at Tanya.

"Let. Go." Bella hissed.

The wolf was no longer sitting at her side, but instead standing in a crouched position. His head was low, sharp teeth bared, and the fur on his neck and back stood on end, making him look much larger and more threatening.

Tanya clenched her jaw but released her. Ghost stopped growling, but he was still on high alert, watching Tanya as though she were a threat instead of a friend.

Bella glared at her with black eyes, taking a step back. "Feeling sorry for myself." She scoffed, looking at all the sisters before she turned away from them. "Anyone would feel sorry if they were in my position." She began walking away, and Ghost followed, hackles still raised as he glanced back at them to make sure they didn't follow. "I have a dead mother, and a family full of liars."

She and Ghost vanished into the woods, and Irina went to follow her when Tanya stepped in her way.

"Move. She needs me-"

"You and Bella, both so stubborn," Tanya muttered. "Look. Not even Kate is trying to go after her. Bella needs her space."

Kate was fighting with all the strength in her body not to go after her mate. She wanted to make things right. She wanted to kiss her senseless and make everything better. She wanted to fast-forward, bypassing all the pain and heartbreak so that everything would be good again.

But she knew better than to chase after her, especially now.

I screwed up. I should have told her why I disliked Rosalie...maybe then she wouldn't be so mad about Sasha.

"Take it from someone who has experience," Kate murmured, staring sadly after her mate. "Smothering her will only make things worse. When she's calm she'll come home but...all we can do is wait."

Irina shook her head, eyes filled with tears as she looked past her older sister. "I can't wait. I can't. I hurt her. She's my newborn, my Bela, and I hurt her." Her voice was shaky and weak, as though she could hardly get the words out. "Bella needs me, and I need her."

Their leader rolled her eyes. "What she needs is to stop acting like such a brat-"

"She just saw our mother die, Tanya," Kate growled. "Bella gave all of us a grace period, the least you can do is quit acting like such a hardass."

"Someone has to! Someone has to be tough on her or she'll become an absolute nightmare!"

Kate understood that Tanya came from a place of concern. And she knew her sister was trying to cover up her own sadness, but she should have known better.

"It's okay to be sad, Tanya," Kate murmured, watching as her sister's eyes filled with angry tears.

Their leader looked away from her. "I just...I want this to be over." She murmured, staring down at the floor as she spoke. "I want us all to go home, to Alaska. I want us to go sledding and have snowball fights and..." a shuttered breath escaped her as she met Kate's gaze. "I feel like such a little girl again." She laughed but it was hollow. "Crying because I can't play games and do whatever I please." Her bottom lip trembled and she swallowed thickly. "Crying because...sometimes I still miss my mother and I want her to come home...but she never will."

The ache in her chest returned, just as it always did.

Our mother is gone, I disgust my mate, and we're all still hurting because of Sasha.

Kate clenched her jaw, unable to fight back her own tears as she and Irina embraced Tanya tightly. She didn't know what to say, she had never been good with words, so she held onto her sisters because that's all she knew how to do.

Tanya was sobbing now, clutching both Kate and Irina tightly as she buried her face into the warrior's neck. "And h-how pathetic is it that...that centuries later, I still cry for my mother like the silly little girl I am?"

Irina whispered reassuring words to her, and all Kate could do was squeeze her eyes shut and hold her sisters tighter.

I guess we're all silly little girls, then.

---

Katrina had tried to contain her frustration, but it was hard when she knew Bela's heart wasn't in it.

"Again." The warrior launched herself at Bela, snarling as she attacked her with a flurry of punches, making sure to hold back on each strike.

Bela managed to block the first ones, planting her feet firmly and deflecting the fists flying her way. But then she noticed Bela's eyes begin to water.

She wanted to stop their training. She wanted to take care of her mate and make her feel better.

But our enemies won't stop. They never will.

Their mother had made a mistake, and they had all paid the price for it. And now, they were enlisted to help the Volturi, all because of Tatyana. The thought infuriated her.

She dragged my mate into danger. She didn't even ask what we wanted.

The warrior would be damned if anything happened to Bela, and their vigorous training had been going on for hours with little progress being made.

Bela wasn't trying. She looked lost. Dazed and confused.

With a sweep of her legs, Bela was on her back.

"Again."

But Bela didn't get up.

She was about to insist when Tatyana into the clearing. "Give it a rest, Katrina." She muttered, going to Bela's side and gazing down at her softly. "Are you alright?"

Tatyana was having fun bossing everyone around, acting so superior because Sasha had claimed she was the next to lead.

She clearly wasn't in her right mind when she made that choice. She also thought it was a good idea to make an immortal child. Why should we continue to trust her judgment?

But Bela had gone along with it, without question. She hadn't even asked Katrina how she felt. Neither of them had.

And now she wants to get in the way of my training. Bela needs to get stronger, and Tatyana is getting in the way of that. She's coddling her.

"Bela's fine!" Katrina growled.

"Yeah, she looks fine." Tatyana snorted as she sat next to the brunette, who was staring up at the grey clouds rolling in. "I know we all cope in different ways, but perhaps you should consider trying something else."

Katrina bristled at her sister's snide remark. "Oh? Like fucking and draining every human I come into contact with?"

"Better than hunting them like some wild dog!"

Bela's quiet sigh drew their attention. "I love you both, but please, shut up." She muttered, closing her eyes. "Our mother-"

"Isn't here," Tatyana interjected. "There's no need to mention her."

Katrina looked at her incredulously. "Your solution is to pretend she doesn't exist at all?"

Tatyana looked at her drolly. "And fuck and drain every human I come into contact with, of course." She glared at her and her sister rolled her eyes. "It's not like I bring them here."

"Let's keep it that way," Bela murmured, sitting up and hugging her knees to her chest. "Katrina, can we be finished with training for today?"

The warrior clenched her jaw. "Sure. Since you apparently don't care about your own life." Sparks danced along her fingertips. "The Volturi could call on us at any time! You have to be prepared! You have to-"

"Grieve," Bela muttered. "Something you and Tatyana refuse to do."

"It's been two weeks." Katrina muttered, looking away from her when she said, "Shed your tears and be done with it."

The shield was on her feet in seconds, getting in her mate's face with bared teeth and black eyes. "Be done with it?"

"She made her choice!" Katrina snapped. "I will not grieve for a woman who put us last!"

Bela glared at her. "You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me." She glanced at Tatyana. "Neither of you can. She was your maker. Tatyana, she raised you-"

Their eldest sister stood to her feet. "Perhaps you should have reminded her of that. Seems it slipped her mind." She quipped, but the pain was evident in her dark red eyes.

Katrina crossed her arms over her chest. "I know you're not used to death, Bela. But I am. As a warrior, I've seen countless people die, many of whom were my friends-"

"Don't talk down to me, oh fearless warrior." Bela scoffed, turning her back on her. "Don't forget that you were the one that looked away when our mother died. And I was the one that burned the pieces."

Katrina clenched her jaw but said nothing. Her mate was right, she hadn't been able to watch Sasha die. She hadn't been able to do anything.

The chasm in her chest was agonizing.

She felt so empty without her maker. It was hard to ignore. But if she didn't keep busy, if she didn't train and focus on what mattered, then she would fall apart. She had to stay strong for Bela.

If losing her maker was this painful, she couldn't imagine the pain that would come with losing her mate.

I wouldn't be able to survive that. A life without Bela wouldn't be a life worth living.

Katrina stared at Bela, who had anxiously begun pacing. Her jaw was clenched, her eyes tight, and her thumb was tapping rapidly against her index finger.

I have to make sure you can protect yourself. I won't always be there to keep you safe.

Tatyana moved forward, placing a hand on Bela's shoulder and making her stop pacing. "Bela?"

The brunette looked at her with watery eyes. "I'm going to find Irina-"

"No," Tatyana said firmly.

"It's been days, and she still hasn't come home!" Bela sounded desperate, as though she needed Irina. Though, Katrina couldn't fathom why she was so desperate to have their younger sister back. Especially after the way she acted.

Remembering the slap was enough to make a growl escape the warrior. "It's a good thing she hasn't. I would kill her on the spot."

Bela leveled a glare at her. "I wouldn't let you." It wasn't threatening, but protective. "She's out there, alone. She needs me." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I need her."

You're too kind. It could get you killed.

Katrina shook her head. "You don't need her-"

"I do!" Bela snarled, eyes bleeding black. "She is mine!"

Envy reared its ugly head. "No, I'm yours! Just as you are mine!"

"That's not what I meant. Irina is just..." she swallowed thickly, looking at Tatyana pleadingly. "Please, let me bring her home."

Tatyana sighed, giving her sister an empathetic look before she cupped the back of her neck. "Bela, we need you here. If the Volturi sends for us, you are our shield."

A sob escaped her and she pulled away, shaking her head and pacing once again. "But who will be her shield?"

Katrina softened, quickly going to her mate's side and drawing her into a hug. "Bela." She breathed, holding her mate close and breathing a sigh of relief when Bela burrowed into her arms.

The embrace seemed to calm her, and Bela went limp, clutching Katrina's shirt and hiding her face in her neck. "I'm...I'm okay. Sorry."

But to see such emotion from her mate was a relief. She had been so quiet and withdrawn. It was worrisome.

To see Bela emote in any other way, even if it was anger and panic, was preferable.

"Don't apologize for loving our sister." Tatyana approached the two, gauging Katrina warily before opening her arms.

The warrior nodded, extending an arm to her, and the two embraced Bela gently.

SNAP!

Katrina clenched her jaw, holding her mate and sister even tighter when the familiar pain struck her chest.

The hug should have felt comforting, but it felt hollow. Something was missing. It was incomplete. It felt wrong.

"Irina and our mother...they should be here."

Oh.

Tatyana withdrew from the hug, eyes glassy as she turned her face away. "Well, they're not." She swallowed thickly, refusing to look at them as she said, "Stop bringing Sasha up. I don't want to hear her name, ever. That's an order."

Katrina glared at her, still holding her mate close as she bared her teeth at her sister. "You can't be serious."

"What good is it to lament over the dead?" Tatyana sneered.

"I'm not happy with what she did, and I agree, there's no need to grieve for her. But to never speak of her...that would be foolish."

Bela pulled away from her, eyes wet with tears as she glared at the two of them. "How can you two say that? What she did was terrible...but she is still our mother-"

"That woman was no mother of mine!" Tatyana roared, hands trembling as her eyes turned black. "My mother wouldn't treat me like that! She wouldn't yell at me! She wouldn't make me feel like I was nothing!" She blinked rapidly, releasing a shuttered breath as she glared at her hands. "My mother wouldn't have picked that thing over me."

The pain in her voice was enough to startle Katrina. Sasha and Tatyana had quarreled incessantly towards the end, but Katrina hadn't paid close attention to the nature of their arguments.

All she knew was that they were both fighting, and all she wanted was for it to stop.

She had wanted it all to stop and...

It stopped.

Katrina hadn't realized the toll those fights had taken on Tatyana. Her older sister had always been able to hold her own, even against their mother. She was one of the strongest people that Katrina knew. Stubborn, determined, loyal, proud, strong.

But now, as she looked at her sister, she didn't see strength.

Dull, red eyes looked up at her. "My mother made me feel special." Her hands balled into fists. "When I was a child, unwanted by the woman that gave birth to me...my mother was there. She wanted me when no one else did." Her hands unfurled, fingers tangling together as she looked away from Katrina and Bela. "My mother loved me when no one else did."

Katrina blinked away her own tears. "Tatyana-"

"You're not to bring her up." Tatyana hissed, turning her back to them. "She is dead." She began walking away. "If she didn't listen to our cries when she was living, what makes you think she's listening to them now?"

I'm supposed to be our sword.

"Don't waste your breath on that woman."

I'm supposed to fight for our family.

"Our mother wouldn't have done what she did."

But I never fought for you.

"That woman was not our mother. She's not worth mentioning."

Bela moved to go after her. "Tatyana-"

She quieted when her sister turned back to her with a glare.

"She's not worth remembering."

Tatyana disappeared, leaving Katrina and Bela behind.

Her mate stared vacantly at the tree Tatyana had vanished behind. "This is...awful. I can't...I can't keep..."

"Bela?" Katrina sprung into action, panic twisting her heart as she grabbed Bela's hand.

She blinked, looking at the warrior. "Sorry, it's just..." she looked away from her. "I hate how our mother left things with her. I think...a part of me will always resent her for how she treated our sister." Bela stared after their leader with sad eyes. "But Tatyana's wrong. Sasha was our mother, through the good times and the bad."

Katrina felt her anger spike. "Did you see how hurt our sister was? How can you even miss that woman-"

"She gave you to me, Katrina!" Bela snapped, clenching her jaw as she stepped away from her. "She made you a vampire, she watched over you when I was gone." Her brow furrowed and her eyes watered. "My past family...they hurt me. And then I came here...and I met you." A small smile played on her lips. "And then we met Sasha, and she gave me Tatyana and Irina. She gave me a family. Without her, we wouldn't have this."

Bela didn't talk about her past, not very often. She didn't remember her human life, only fragments of it, she said. But she remembered enough to know that her loved ones had hurt her.

How could anyone hurt you?

The warrior reached out, taking Bela's hands in hers.

If I ever meet them I'll make them suffer. I promise.

Bela looked up at her. "...it's okay to be sad, Katrina. It doesn't make you any less strong." She released her hands and gently held her face, gold eyes searching red ones. "I know that you miss her."

"The only way to not feel pain is to never feel love," Sasha murmured, "And that's not a life worth living."

Katrina felt her eyes burn, and her weakness only served to make her angrier.

"I don't miss her." Some days the ache in her chest was almost strong enough to bring her to her knees. "And you shouldn't either." She pulled away from her mate. "Let's get back to sparring. We've wasted enough time as it is."

Bela looked at her in disbelief. "Why are you hiding from me?"

"I'm not hiding! I'm just-"

"Are you two still sparring?" Carmen's voice came from beyond the trees, making Katrina bristle.

The warrior watched warily as the dark-haired woman entered the clearing. Tatyana also didn't trust her, and neither of them made it a habit to stay around their new coven members for long.

But Bela didn't so much as blink as Carmen stopped next to her. She seemed at ease with her, despite all that happened, and it was strange, to say the least.

The shield didn't speak to Carmen, but she was never bothered by her presence.

What was even stranger was that, at times, Katrina would see her making conversation with Eleazar. It was mindless chatter, and Bela's heart never seemed in it, but she had no qualms talking to the man.

Sometimes it was as though she gravitated towards him.

"I'm finished," Bela muttered, brushing past the older woman and disappearing into the forest. "I need to be alone."

Katrina wanted to follow her but knew better. They were both frustrated, and she didn't want to say anything to her mate that would further provoke her.

Once I'm calm, I'll go talk to her. I'll make things right.

Carmen stared after Bela, brow furrowed and lips pursed. "Did I do something to upset her?" Katrina said nothing, she didn't know the answer herself. "And I take it you dislike me as well?"

"You didn't force Sasha to make an immortal child." She muttered. "I don't dislike you. But I don't trust you."

Carmen nodded slowly. "I don't blame you." She then eyed her. "So, can you fight without your electricity? Or is that your crutch?"

Katrina recognized the challenge, moving into a defensive stance as she watched Carmen. "Why don't you come find out."

But Carmen didn't change her stance. Instead, she cocked her head to the side, looking Katrina over silently as she slowly began to walk towards her. Red eyes searched hers, glancing away for a mere second before the brunette rushed her.

She was surprised by her speed. Her attacks were sharp and precise, they were calculated and measured. She wasn't fighting to win, she was merely fighting to observe the warrior.

Katrina growled, going on the offensive and taking swing after swing at her. But Carmen evaded each strike with ease, flowing around her attacks like water. Her face gave nothing away as she ducked beneath Katrina's kick.

Carmen planted her forearm on the ground, swiping up and sending a mountain of snow into Katrina's face. The warrior staggered back in surprise, temporarily blinded, and that was all Carmen needed in order to appear behind her with a stick to her neck.

"Dead."

Katrina snarled, whirling around and slamming her fist into Carmen's chest. The brunette flew backward, adjusting in midair in order to brace herself against a tree. She smirked, launching herself right back at Katrina.

The warrior braced herself for a hit that never came. Instead, the woman slid between her legs, hooking her hands around her ankles and yanking her feet out from under her.

Katrina growled, catching herself with her hands and flipping to her feet, whirling around just in time to catch the stick that had been soaring towards her eye.

Only to jump when the tip of another stick bounced off the top of her head.

Her eyes widened as the stick fell into the snow, and Carmen smiled smugly at her. "Dead."

Katrina felt sparks dance across her skin. "You fight dishonorably!"

"I fight to win, little warrior." Her voice was colored in amusement. "What is honor to a vampire?" Carmen approached her with her hands behind her back. "I had to prove myself to the Volturi in order to join their ranks. Very difficult for a vampire without power. But I managed."

Katrina eyed her for a moment. "You were a fighter of some sort, weren't you. When you were human."

"An assassin." Carmen hummed, rolling back her sleeve and watching as several, small sticks fell to the ground. "Your fighting abilities are impressive." She leaned down, rolling up her pant leg in order to remove another stick she had hidden away. "But predictable." Katrina watched her in disbelief as she stood up straight. "Strong warriors don't win wars. Strong minds do."

"Spoken like a coward."

This earned her a chuckle. "Am I?"

Katrina scoffed at her, snapping the stick in her hand in half before tossing it aside. "Cowards cloak their faces and strike in the dark."

"Perhaps you're right."

"I am." Katrina hesitated before saying, "But...you are an impressive fighter as well. Despite your dishonorable tactics." Because, while she was now even warier of Carmen, she wouldn't be a sore loser.

Sparing with her had been...fun. It had been a challenge, despite the frustration that came with it.

Carmen looked at her curiously. "You electrocute your enemies, rendering them helpless. Where's the honor in that?"

Anger bloomed in her chest and she hissed at her. "That was once and that was because he had my mate-"

"You used your power as a way to gain the advantage and protect the one you love." She pointed out. "How is that any different than when I use my surroundings in order to beat you?" Katrina gritted her teeth. "It's not something to be ashamed of. As you said, you were protecting your mate. No one would call what you did dishonorable. You did what had to be done."

"Don't speak as though you understand me." She couldn't bring herself to agree with Carmen, just a little bit. But she was also insulted.

Part of her wanted to learn from Carmen. Her fighting prowess would be useful to learn, and it would be good to teach Bela. But her stubbornness held her back, especially after Carmen insinuated that she had just as little honor as she did.

This earned her an eye roll. "Honestly, the behaviors of you and your sisters make me wonder why any woman would want children at all." She shook her head. "Motherhood is a curse I was lucky to avoid when I was human."

This made Katrina snort. "Not many women are capable of raising children," she eyed her disdainfully, "evidently."

Carmen, to her surprise, laughed and shook her head. "You're right, I was not made to raise children." She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at Katrina in amusement. "I pity my own mother for having to raise a daughter such as myself." She leaned against a tree trunk. "What about you? Did you have children? Did you want children?"

Katrina's brow furrowed. "I...have only ever wanted Bela. Having a child would make no difference to me, but if that was something she had wanted then I would find a way to give it to her." She had never given this much thought. "I was born to fight. Giving birth would get in the way of that. Having a child is not something I would have wanted as a human."

Carmen hummed, looking at the blonde thoughtfully. "You and I are similar in that sense. I was an assassin first and foremost, and motherhood had never even crossed my mind." She winced. "Even though poor Eleazar wanted children." She shook her head. "Two assassins having a baby? Could you imagine?"

Eleazar was also an assassin? Another thing to watch out for.

The warrior didn't let her wariness show. "That was something you weren't willing to give him?"

"When he can get pregnant, then he can tell me whether or not we're having a baby." Carmen chuckled. "He was upset at first, but we had too many enemies and we were constantly on the move. It would be unfair to bring a child into our world, and he understood that."

Katrina found herself wishing that Sasha had had the same courtesy when it came to making an immortal child.

"Do you think you would have been a good mother?" She isn't sure where the question came from, and Carmen looked just as surprised as she felt.

"Um...I had never given it much thought. Giving birth has always been an impossibility to me." She hesitated before saying, "I don't think I would be a very good mother. I'm a bit harsh, a bit... quick-tempered, at times. Children need a lot of patience. I don't know if I have much patience to give."

Katrina nodded slowly, mulling her words over before she began to walk away. She needed to find Bela and make things right.

"Well, at least you can see your flaws."

My mother couldn't.

...

"Bela?"

Silence.

Katrina crept forward, grimacing when she saw her mate staring at nothing. Her eyes were glazed over, and she looked as though she weren't mentally there.

This hadn't been the first time she had seen Bela like this. It was happening more frequently, and it was concerning.

"Bela?" She put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle shake. This awoke the vampire from her stupor and she jumped in surprise. Katrina was quick to withdrawal her hand. "It's alright. It's just me." Bela blinked rapidly, looking around before scowling at her and turning her face away. "Are you alright-"

"Go away."

Katrina's eyes watered, her mate's coldness wasn't unfounded, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

Bela sat on the cliffside that their mother had so frequently visited. The cliffside where Vasilii had been buried.

She hugged her knees to her chest, staring at the sunrise with wet eyes and holding herself even tighter. "I'm doing as you said. I'm shedding my tears so I can be done with it."

Katrina hesitated before sitting next to her mate, but she made sure to keep space between them. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

Bela laughed mirthlessly. "When I said I wanted to be alone, I meant that." She looked far away, gazing out at the sea below. "I need space so I can think and...so I won't feel smothered."

But you've already been so distant lately. How much space do you need?

But she didn't speak on her selfishness. Katrina knew that grief affected everyone differently, but she was so worried about Bela.

"I was worried." She said nothing. "I'm sorry I'll...I'll give you space next time. Do you want me to leave?"

Bela shrugged, face devoid of emotion. "You're here now. Doesn't really matter."

The warrior gnawed on her lip, slowly reaching out and taking her hand in hers. "I spoke with Carmen...she's not so bad." Bela didn't reciprocate the handhold, but she didn't pull away either.

"Okay."

"She was an assassin when she was human. Her fighting abilities are impressive."

"Okay."

Katrina gritted her teeth. "Would you say something else? Please? I apologized-"

Bela bared her teeth at her. "And then you come here, talking about Carmen as though I give a fuck." She ripped her hand away from her. "Have some respect. This is our mother's place. You're clearly not ready to talk about her, so...maybe it would be best if you leave."

The warrior felt her anger spike. "What is there to talk about? How she created an immortal child? How her actions directly caused her death?" Bela looked away from her. "She's dead, Bela! And she deserved her fate!"

"How can you say that?" Bela murmured, losing the heat in her voice. "She loved us. She was our mother. She was grieving-"

"She got herself killed and left us to deal with the consequences! That selfish woman doesn't deserve to be mourned! It's ridiculous that you even waste your time grieving over her!"

It was the same argument over and over. But Katrina didn't know how else to get it through Bela's head that Sasha was not worth the tears.

Abruptly Katrina was hauled to her feet. Bela fisted her tunic, holding her over the cliff and glaring at her with black eyes.

"What she did was terrible, but I can still miss her! I can still love her! You can't tell me how to feel!" Bela gave her a shake, and instinctively Katrina put her hands on her wrists to support herself. She stared at Bela with wide eyes, conflicted about her mate's anger. "You have so much nerve. You didn't even tell me about our mother, you didn't warn me, and now-"

Katrina frowned at her. "How could I tell you about our mother? You heard Aro, none of us knew." She stared at Bela, trying to figure out where she had gotten this from. "And if I did know, you'd be the first one I'd come to."

Bela blinked, anger faltering as she looked at Katrina in confusion. She looked lost for a moment, black eyes were unfocused, and she stared at Katrina as though she were a stranger.

"Bela?"

She blinked again, shaking her head before she growled at her. "Just...let me grieve the way I need to."

What was that?

Katrina was about to ask when she looked at her mate. Really looked at her. With her black eyes, bared teeth, and the flex of her biceps as she held Katrina over the unruly ocean below.

"God, you're so gorgeous." She hadn't meant to say it aloud, but she just couldn't help herself.

It was a relief to see her mate show an emotion other than sadness. And she always looked so lovely when she was angry.

Bela's eyes widened. "W-What?"

"Even when you're angry, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

There it is.

The shy look Bela often wore when Katrina complimented her had made a reappearance.

"I'm dangling you over a cliff, I yelled in your face, and you're still..." a quiet laugh escaped her. "You must not own a mirror. Human or vampire, no beauty could ever compare to yours."

Katrina narrowed her eyes. "Well, you're the most beautiful being that's ever existed. Angels must shield their eyes at the mere sight of your radiance."

"Are you serious? This isn't a competition!"

"You started it!"

"How?! I was just being honest and telling you what I think!"

She smiled triumphantly at her. "Right. Well, it doesn't matter anyway. There can be no competition when you're my mate. I always win."

"You're so..." Bela's eyes glowed gold and she smiled, pulling her mate in and pressing a hard kiss to her lips.

Katrina purred as her mate pulled her away from the cliff and removed her hands from her shirt. Bela slipped her arms around her neck, and Katrina grabbed her waist and pulled her even closer.

It was a relief that they were able to steal moments like this. Even though they were far and few in between, Katrina took all that she could get.

---

She knew something wasn't right.

She didn't know how she knew, but she did.

She had had this feeling before. That feeling of danger that made her stomach churn and her limbs jittery.

When she was a child she had learned to trust this feeling. It had saved her from a few beatings during her time as a kitchen drudge. And while her hair, a bright red, had often exposed her hiding places, she had learned to adapt.

This feeling made her more alert. Sometimes, she felt as though it made her faster, sharper. She was at her best when her mind was racing and her heart was pounding in her ears.

Running from danger had become somewhat of a game to her. And while there was always the fear of being caught, there was also the thrill of escaping.

The bustling market put her at ease.

More people meant more noises to muffle her own. It meant more bodies to slip behind to avoid being grabbed. It meant more smells that would slow down the hounds. It meant more distractions and more confusion for her pursuers.

She loved crowds.

Anne loved crowds. She would hold my hand as we went through them and-

She scowled and shook her head, clutching the food she just purchased close to her chest. She couldn't get distracted, not when this feeling appeared.

Bright, green eyes scanned the market warily.

But she wasn't looking for the threat.

The stacked boxes. I can take to the rooftops. But what if they're nimble? Will I have a way down, or am I trapping myself? The carriage. It's loaded up. The driver has been drinking, he's too unbalanced to be sober, I can sneak on if I cut through the crowd and slide beneath-

Dread seized her heart, making her drop her food and instinctively jolt forward.

"Found you, witch girl." The voice nearly made her freeze.

You.

The man's meaty hand would have grabbed her arm if she hadn't been prepared.

She bolted forward without hesitation, snatching two apples from a nearby stand and slipping into the crowd. She was small enough to dance through the bodies, but the man was large enough to shove people aside as he raced after her.

When she ran she didn't think.

She acted.

The girl slowed her run, waiting until he was right on her heels before dropping the apples.

He yelped in surprise, "Bitch!" And he slipped on the fruit, slamming into a person and taking them both to the ground.

She couldn't help but pause and laugh as he scrambled to his feet. The moment he did she took off running again.

There.

She snatched the headscarf off the woman she passed, ignoring her shouts of outrage, and running even faster.

The man's feet pounded on the pavement, he wasn't far behind, but far enough for her not to worry.

She made it to the carriage, slipping past the horse and giving it a slight whip with the headscarf. It screamed in surprise, rearing up and sprawling out its front legs in a panic.

This forced the man to stop, backing away in frustration and cursing after her. She grinned, darting around a corner and slipping between two dilapidated houses.

The girl slowed, wrapping the headscarf around her hair, obscuring her red curls, before she continued her run.

"Idiot." She laughed under her breath, sticking to the alleyways and slowing to a walk when she no longer felt in danger.

Her breathing evened out. And while she could integrate seamlessly with those milling about in the street, she refused to.

Because as much as she loved crowds, she also loved dark places where she couldn't be seen.

"Did you see that?" She murmured, stopping her walk to lean against the wall. "Did you see me? I made Gregory fall. I made him angry. He couldn't catch me."

She was met with silence.

"No…you couldn't have seen me."

Sometimes she wondered if her sister and the other girls had run away.

Anne was beautiful, kind, and smart. She always watched over her, she always treated her with kindness and love. Anne taught her everything she knew, and not once had she complained about having to take care of her.

Even though I drew too much attention to us. Even though I slowed her down.

"I won't slow you down. Not anymore." She murmured, holding her knees to her chest and staring at her muddied shoes.

Some nights, if she were exhausted enough, she could feel her sister's calloused hand in hers.

Some nights it was the only way she could fall asleep.

She knew in her heart that Anne wouldn't leave her. She knew something terrible must have happened for her to disappear all those years ago.

But sometimes it was easier to believe that Anne was alive. It was easier to believe that her sister had run away, even if that meant she had been abandoned in the process.

"But you wouldn't leave me."

You promised.

She buried her face in her hands, trying and failing to calm herself.

She wished she were stronger. Because if she were, she would have killed that man.

The same man who had sent her sister and the other working girls to the outskirts of London. The same man who didn't so much as bat an eye when none of the girls returned. The same man who turned on her when her sister didn't come back, and tried to imprison her.

Tried.

But she was better. Faster. Smarter.

The thrill of the chase began to subside, and with a shaky sigh, she slumped to the ground. Her heart was pounding in her chest and sweat beaded down her forehead. Her escape had been easy, but seeing Gregory had rattled her.

She wished she could drag a blade slowly across his throat. She wished she could watch him slowly bleed out, and see the light leave his cold blue eyes.

She wished she could torture him, all while listening to his cries for mercy.

But there would be none.

She fisted her torn dress so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

It was so long ago…sometimes I fear that I'll forget your face.

But even if that were the case, she would never forget how her sister made her feel.

The relief her smile would bring. The warmth that her hugs would evoke. The peace that her voice would give.

And the comfort her hand would feel in hers.

Anne's hands, rough and calloused from labor, were the softest comfort that she had ever experienced. They were warm and gentle. Reassuring and firm.

Anne's hand in hers had always made her feel safe and protected. Like she could do anything. Holding her hand tethered her to her older sister.

Holding her hand reminded her that she wasn't alone, and that she never would be. It brought her more comfort than a hug ever could.

She went out that night. I let go of her hand. And she never came back.

Her bottom lip trembled.

What I wouldn't give to have your hand in mine.

Gregory took everything from her.

Anne was her sister, her best friend, her protector, her teacher.

Anne was her home.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and she cursed, hastily wiping them away and getting to her feet.

"I'm not strong enough. But I'll find a way to kill him, I promise." She whispered.

A life for a life.

A dead Gregory would not bring Anne back, but it would bring her peace of mind. Of that she was certain.

It had brought her joy to watch the light leave Joshua's eyes. It had brought her joy to hear the terrified screams of Lady Elise when she realized her guards weren't coming to rescue her. It had brought her joy to see Lord Benjamin fall to his knees before her and plead for his life.

Killing those who had wronged her and her sister brought a thrill that was similar to when she ran for her life. She had to be cunning to slaughter her and Anne's past abusers.

Knowing they were still alive while her sweet sister was dead had caused her to become enraged. Killing them was the only reason she had to keep going. It made her feel alive.

A life for a life.

Gregory presented a more difficult challenge. He got himself a fancy estate and a large band of mercenaries to protect it as well as himself.

But nothing will protect him from me. I'm not strong enough, but I don't need to be.

A strange jolt ran down her spine and made her muscles tense.

Run? No.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Involuntarily, her muscles relaxed.

Danger. No urgency. Don't run. Stay. You're safe.

A familiar, boisterous laugh filled the air and instantly brought tears to her eyes, blurring her vision and making it difficult to see in the already dark alley.

"You've always been too fiery for your own good." Tears streamed down her cheeks as a woman appeared before her. "Oh," the woman breathed, stepping closer to her. "My little Victoria, you've grown so much."

Victoria stifled a sob, unable to move. Too scared to destroy the illusion.

"I'm not so little anymore." She croaked, rubbing her eyes. "I'm eighteen now."

"Five years?" She breathed, pain leaking into her voice as she moved closer to Victoria. "Has it been that long?" Vaguely she could make out Anne's red eyes. They had once been green, the only resemblance the sisters shared, but not anymore.

Her heart began to ache. "It feels like it's been longer." Victoria turned her head away. "You can't be real. You can't be."

How often had she seen a familiar looking woman in the street and chased after her? Yelling her sister's name and feeling such relief it brought her to tears.

Only to embrace a stranger.

Only to be heartbroken.

Only to be reminded that Anne was gone and she had nothing.

The illusion reached out to her. "My strong flame, it's me. I've come back to you." A quiet laugh escaped her, but it lacked mirth and was instead filled with sorrow. "Am I not your reliable moth?"

Victoria watched with wide eyes as a pale hand reached out and took hers. It didn't bear the same callouses. It didn't bear the warmth that it once did.

Her hand was cold and smooth to the touch. But the gentleness, the shape, and the feel...this hand could belong to no other.

A broken sob escaped her. "Anne?"

"It's me." She whispered, dropping to her knees before her. "I'm so sorry I've been gone-" Victoria slammed into her, not registering the pain of striking her body with her own.

"Anne."

She didn't care that her skin was cold as ice or that her body felt hard as stone. She didn't care that her eyes had become blood red and that, for the first time in Victoria's life, she had sensed danger from Anne.

None of that mattered. Not when her sister was finally back.

She had been alone for so long. Lost and scared without the guidance of her older sister, darting through the streets of London in hopes of finding her. Or at least, in hopes of finding her body.

Victoria had thought that Anne had died alone, and the thought had haunted her for the past five years.

They were supposed to stay together. Being without her older sister had been agony. Learning how to survive on her own had been agony.

She clutched onto her even more tightly. "You're back...you can't leave. You can't. Not again." She cried, burying her face into the crook of her neck and soaking the collar of her dress with tears.

Her sister hummed softly, rubbing her back and cradling her gently. "I won't leave." She murmured, kissing the side of her face. "Never again."

...

Victoria stared at her sister, unsure of what to say as she swung her dangled legs over the rooftop.

Night had fallen, and while she was more than thrilled to see her sister, she was also stunned after having heard her story.

"A vampire?" It explained her eyes, and how her sister had somehow become even more beautiful than she already was. It explained her cold skin, her strength, and her speed.

She knew her sister hadn't abandoned her. Her maker, Hilda, had taken pity on Anne when she saw her. She had given her a choice.

Anne accepted it, keeping Victoria in mind when she did. However, she wasn't aware she'd be turned at that moment. She thought she would have time to retrieve Victoria, to explain herself, and keep her somewhere safe.

The miscommunication had caused strife between her and Hilda. Anne had been restless since turning, wanting to go back to her, wanting to keep her safe. But she couldn't, not when she wanted to attack every human she came into contact with.

"Yes. A vampire." Anne didn't sit next to her, instead, she stood a ways away, looking out at the city below. "I'd like for you to be turned...I'd like you to be like me."

Excitement coursed through her veins. "Turn me. Then we can always be together." She said enthusiastically.

I won't lose you. Never again.

She would be strong and fast. She would be invincible. She would finally be able to protect Anne, just as she had protected Victoria.

I won't slow you down. Not anymore.

Anne, however, didn't share her enthusiasm. "You'll have to kill and drink the blood of humans in order to survive. Does that frighten you?"

Victoria knew what she was really asking. She remembers the uneasy feeling she had before Anne's arrival.

Danger but no urgency. A threat but not towards me.

"You don't frighten me."

"That's not what I asked."

Victoria rolled her eyes. "No, but that's what you meant." Anne looked at her, saying nothing, and she suppressed her sigh. "Drinking human blood doesn't frighten me. You being a vampire doesn't frighten me. I hugged you, didn't I?"

"You didn't know what I was."

She sighed and looked down at her swinging legs. "I knew you were dangerous. I could feel it." Anne looked taken aback but Victoria was quick to reassure her. "I also knew I didn't have to run. You weren't a threat to me."

Her sister relaxed, nodding slowly and moving to sit next to her. "Good. You know I would never hurt you."

"I know."

Anne gently took her hand in hers. "It doesn't bother you that I have to kill humans?"

Victoria scowled at this. "Why would it? You're still you."

She grimaced. "I don't like hurting people."

Her sister had always been so gentle and kind, even towards those who didn't deserve it. It was a trait that Victoria had once admired, but as she grew older she found such a trait to be wanting. She often wondered how Anne could stand to be so nice and good when everyone around them had been so horrible.

The illegitimacy of their birth had caused them so much strife that Victoria couldn't possibly fathom having Anne's mindset.

Anne was an optimist. She saw the best in others.

"What do you think hurt them?" Anne would ask. "What made them hurt so badly that they now want to hurt us? Oh, what pain they must be in."

Victoria was a pessimist. She saw people for who they truly were.

"It doesn't matter." Victoria would tell her, if she were ever again asked this question. "Pain isn't always linked to cruelty."

"Hurting people...that shouldn't bother you," Victoria muttered, tightening her grip on Anne's hand. "People are terrible."

"You're wrong." The redhead snorted at that but Anne ignored her. "You don't remember all the friendly faces we met along the way, but I do. People can be terrible, but they can also be wonderful."

"Then eat the terrible ones." Victoria groused. "Like Gregory." The mere thought of him made her blood boil. "When I'm a vampire, I'll find him and kill him."

A low growl escaped Anne, making Victoria flinch. "You won't harm Gregory, neither of us will, do you understand me?"

Victoria blinked, forgetting herself for a moment as she ripped away from her sister. "What are you talking about?" She jumped to her feet and began pacing. "He hurt us! He sent you and those other girls away and…" her voice cracked and she curled her hands into fists. "He deserves to die!"

"Victoria!" Anne snapped, standing in front of her in the blink of an eye. "Revenge is pointless. It makes you irrational, sloppy, and careless. It could get you killed!"

It didn't get me killed when I slit Joshua's throat. Or when I stabbed Lady Elise. Or when I smashed Lord Benjamin's head in.

But she didn't dare utter a word of her activities since her sister's disappearance.

She didn't want Anne to look at her any differently.

I enacted justice when no one else would. But she wouldn't understand that.

Green eyes bore into red ones. "Not if I was like you."

"I won't turn you if you're going to abuse your power." She warned. "That would make you no better than Gregory."

Her eyes widened and she felt heat rush to her face. "I'm nothing like him!" She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this angry. "I'm not the same little girl you got to boss around!" Victoria yelled, poking her sister's chest. "You were gone! I had to grow up, alone." She clenched her jaw when her eyes once again became wet. "He deserves to die!"

Her sister softened, gently reaching up and taking her hand once again. "I love how fierce you are, I always have. But look at me. I'm here. With you. Why can't you let this go?"

Victoria looked at her incredulously. "Why are you letting this go? He's hurt so many people! He's terrible, Anne, and he should die!" She threw her hands up in exasperation. "It's not revenge, it's justice!"

The vampire reached out, placing a hand on Victoria's arm. Her brow furrowed in concentration, and Victoria could only watch her in confusion as she pulled her hand away.

The sadness that filled red eyes was almost enough to make Victoria drop the subject. But she couldn't.

"If we killed him, he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again-"

"You don't care about justice," Anne said, making Victoria clench her jaw. "You don't. Not really." Her older sister looked at her sadly. "You don't care about his victims...you only care about inflicting pain."

You were gone for five years. How do you know my motivations?

Victoria shook her head vehemently, face reddening in anger. "That's not-"

"You want to hurt him because he hurt us." Anne reached out to her. "Gregory's death won't heal you."

The younger girl jerked away from her, angry tears rose to the surface and blurred her vision. "You're wrong! He will pay for what he did to us with his life! A world without him would be a better one!"

Anguish filled red eyes. "Perhaps, but your reasons are troubling."

"My reasons don't matter." She spoke through gritted teeth. "You could kill him now and be done with it, if you're so concerned about my reasons."

Anne looked away from her, wrapping her arms around herself. "You don't know what you're saying." She murmured. "The way they scream...the way they cry out for God or for their family members…" red eyes watered, "I have a gift. I can feel the emotions of those I touch. Iff the emotions are strong enough, I can see the thoughts and memories that come with them."

Victoria's eyes widened in disbelief.

That's how you knew.

"For humans, their emotions are tied so strongly to death that I can see their final thoughts and memories before they pass." Anne continued, smiling bitterly. "A gift," she clenched her jaw, "That's what Hilda calls it. But I have only known it to be a curse."

Her sister's negativity startled her. Worried her. "Anne-"

"I only kill terrible people. Abusers, murderers, people like Gregory." She breathed, hugging herself even more tightly and staring out at the night sky. "But it brings me no joy. No satisfaction." She closed her eyes. "Terrible people deserve punishment, and I still hunt for them specifically when I need to feed but...it's never because I want to."

A shaky sigh escaped her sister. "You learn a lot about people when they're on the brink of death." Anne opened her eyes and looked at her. "You learn that, good or bad, they both die the same way. Scared and alone and regretful for what they did or didn't do in their lifetime. Their final thoughts and memories are always ones that show who they were, and who they wanted to be. And it's so heartbreaking." Her voice broke. "It's so heartbreaking to know that I am the one who robbed them of any chance they could have had at redemption."

Victoria felt tears flow down her cheeks. Not for the people that her sister spoke of, but for the obvious pain that she was in. She wished she could take her pain away, she wished she could get her sister to understand that such people didn't deserve her pity.

Victoria reached out, embracing her sister tightly and holding onto her as though her life depended on it.

Because it did.

"None of that is your fault, Anne." She soothed, rubbing her back and laying her head on her shoulder. "Not everyone can be saved. Not everyone can be redeemed."

Anne buried her face into her neck. "No, not everyone can." She agreed, holding onto Victoria even tighter. Her grip was almost bruising, but Victoria didn't complain. "The pain they experience is no excuse for how they treat others...but seeing it." She whispered, as though in awe. "It's like peeling off the flesh of a monster and finding a human underneath."

"A monster is still a monster," Victoria muttered, trying to convince her naive sister the truth of humanity.

Anne pulled away from her, lightly cupping her cheeks in her hands and staring into her eyes. "Don't you ever wonder what creates these monsters? Aren't you ever curious?"

"No." She sighed, leaning into her sister's cold hands.

She blinked in surprise, taken aback by her blunt answer. "We all have the makings of a monster. Some choose to embrace it, while others fight it." A soft sigh escaped her sister. "Everyone has their reasons. That's no excuse but...haven't you ever wondered why Gregory is the way he is?"

Victoria knew better than to speak of him again. Anne's words would have been moving had she heard them three years prior. But being alone had hardened her. It opened her eyes to what most people truly were.

Instead, she said, "Sometimes bad people are just bad. And even if they have their reasons, they still don't deserve your pity."

"Pity." Anne frowned at her, eyes still wet but tears never falling. "I sense their emotions as they're dying...and I only ever feel one thing."

"And what's that?"

Her sister gave her a sad smile. "Sorrow."

Sorrow.

A feeling Victoria knew all too well.

But a feeling she had only ever felt for Anne.

"You live in a...cave?" Victoria squinted through the darkness, tightening her grip on Anne's hand as she stumbled through the cave.

The draft made her shiver, but she found that the cold, damp place brought it's own comfort. A perfect hiding spot. No one would find them here.

And yet she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

Danger.

It was more of a whisper like it had been for Anne. The other vampires were dangerous, but not to her. Her sister would protect her, just as she always had.

Anne spoke in a low voice. "Do you remember what I said?"

Pay Heidi no mind.

"Yes."

"Good." Her sister sounded disapproving. "She likes to play games."

Ahead of them, a light appeared, and Victoria grimaced as her eyes adjusted to the abrupt brightness. Before them stood two women next to a lantern. Both with blood red eyes and pale white skin.

One had dark, blonde hair. Her cheeks were full, giving her a more comforting and youthful appearance. She was beautiful in the type of surreal way that Anne was.

Anne spoke up, dragging Victoria by her hand towards the blonde. "Mother, this is my little sister, Victoria."

Mother?

The vampire smiled at her warmly. "It's so nice to finally meet you." She had a thick accent, one Victoria couldn't place. "Anne has told me so much about you." She held her hand out. "I am Hilda."

Victoria stared at her hand, making no move to shake it, and moving closer to Anne. If her sister trusted Hilda, she knew she should have too, but she was still hesitant. She had been fooled by kind smiles and gentle assurances before.

"Victoria," Anne muttered, but Hilda merely shook her head and put her hands behind her back.

"Don't chastise her, darling. She has every reason to be cautious." Red eyes filled with something akin to sympathy. A look she had often seen in Anne's eyes.

The other vampire spoke up. "She's cute, Anne. Why didn't you tell me how cute she was?" She had the same thick accent as Hilda. But her voice- "Come here, beautiful. Let me take a look at you."

Her voice.

Victoria looked at her and felt her jaw drop.

Her heart thundered in her chest and she felt her cheeks redden. She had never been in love before. She never had time for it.

But this feeling. The burning in my chest. What else could it be?

She hadn't even known she liked women. But what did that matter?

"Heidi," Anne growled softly in warning but Victoria paid her no mind.

Heidi was undoubtedly the most gorgeous vampire that Victoria had ever seen. She was tall and statuesque with sharp cheekbones, full lips, and long dark brown hair that almost looked black. She wore a form-fitting red dress that accentuated her chest, and Victoria hadn't even realized she was trying to walk towards her until she felt a gentle yank on her hand.

"Victoria-"

The human shook her head, trying to shake her sister off. "Let me go. I have to…" she lost the ability to speak when she heard Heidi's soft giggle.

"Would you like to be with me, Victoria?" Chills ran down her spine. "We would look so lovely together. Wouldn't we?" Victoria nodded vigorously, grunting in frustration at the hand that continued to hold her back.

She wants me to come to her. I have to. She needs me to-

Hilda gave Heidi a look. "Stop that."

Suddenly Victoria froze, blinking rapidly as she looked up at Heidi. The pull no longer made her want to move closer. But Heidi was still so agonizingly beautiful that she couldn't help but stare.

What the hell.

"Sorry, mother," Heidi said, though she didn't sound sorry at all. She then looked at Victoria and gave her a wink. "Maybe when you're a newborn."

Anne growled before pulling Victoria closer to her. "That will be her decision. One you should know better than to influence, or not even our mother will be able to protect you from me."

Victoria looked at her sister in surprise. She hadn't often threatened anyone, but she would whenever it came to Victoria's safety. Anne looked intimidating with her bared teeth and black eyes, and she couldn't help but be in awe of her big sister.

Heidi rolled her eyes. "You know I'll behave myself."

Hilda pursed her lips before shaking her head and turning to Victoria. "I apologize for her behavior. Her power is physical attraction. It's easier to ignore as a vampire."

Victoria felt unease wash over her and she couldn't help but shoot a glare at Heidi. "Don't do that anymore." She warned.

To her surprise, Heidi gave her a solemn nod. "I won't. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." She gave her a small smile that made her cheeks redden. "I look forward to seeing you as a newborn."

Victoria looked away from her, scowling at the flutter in her heart before she looked to Hilda. "I would like to be a newborn. But I would like my sister to turn me."

Anne grimaced. "We talked about this, my self-control is not strong enough."

"You won't hurt me."

I don't trust anyone else.

Hilda stepped forward, brow furrowed in concern. "Victoria, I trust you're familiar with your sister's gift." Victoria stared at her, not answering. "Turning you will not only present a challenge, but it will also cause her pain. I know you don't know me well enough yet, but I would like to change that."

Her eyes widened. She hadn't considered Anne's empath powers.

Her sister gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Don't feel bad. I understand." She didn't say Victoria's emotions aloud, thankfully. She was terrified, but she wouldn't force her sister to hurt herself in order to turn her.

Victoria never wanted to be the one to cause Anne harm.

She squeezed her sister's hand, not letting her go as she stepped closer to Hilda. "I don't know you." She said, sparing a glance at Heidi and then at Anne. "But my sister trusts you." She felt no danger radiating from the vampire before her. "And I don't feel the need to run…so you may change me."

Hilda smiled warmly at her. "Thank you, Victoria. Your trust means a lot to me. I swear I won't abuse the gift you have given me."

Kind words. Always be wary of kind words.

But there were no traces of deceit in her soft, red eyes.

Always be wary of kind eyes.

When Victoria was bitten her world was on fire.

But Anne held her hand for the entirety of her change.

Even at the age of eighteen, the feel of her sister's hand in hers made her feel brave. It made her feel strong and safe. It made her feel loved.

When Victoria was bitten her world was on fire.

But she embraced the pain, knowing she would be turned into something great.

She embraced the pain, knowing she would forever be with Anne.

And aside from that, nothing else mattered.

---

It hurts. Everything hurts.

She raced through the forest, red eyes filled with tears and breathing ragged as she ran. She didn't know where she was going, but that didn't matter.

"I had never felt so helpless..."

She crashed through a tree, stumbling slightly as her long hair caught on a branch.

"My parents were cowards. They did nothing as he lay dying!"

She snarled, ripping her hair free and leaving a few locks behind as she continued to run.

"I tried to stop the bleeding...it was everywhere."

She blinked away her tears, chest heaving as she tried to suppress her sobs.

"They just stood there and let it happen!"

Everything felt muddled, unfocused.

"Why do you think I wanted to be turned?"

She barreled through another tree.

"So I could be strong. So no one would ever have to die in my place."

Her thoughts felt distorted.

Scattered.

Mother. I tried. You have to believe me.

She ran faster, digging her feet into the earth and propelling herself forward.

"My mother watched Erik die. I know you would never do the same. You would only protect us."

It hurts. Everything hurts.

"Just know that I would do the same for you."

I tried. I did. I tried so hard but I wasn't strong enough.

"Just know that I would the same for you. No one will hurt you, mother. Not ever."

I failed. I'm so sorry.

Her head was pounding, but she couldn't stop running.

It all happened so fast and...

She had hit Bela.

"You fucking monster!"

Maybe that's what she was.

I need to get away.

Days and nights had gone by but she never stopped running. Time was meaningless to her.

Everything was meaningless to her.

First Erik. Now my mother.

She had arrived at the ocean, where she could run no further.

So she swam.

"You fucking monster!"

She had hit Bela.

Monster.

Days and nights passed when she reached the shore.

I hurt my Bela.

"You fucking monster!"

Irina choked out a sob, continuing her run and ignoring the burn in her throat. She could hardly feel it.

But I tried to save our mother, and Bela stopped me. She betrayed her.

The world was a blur, and her mind felt foggy.

I failed because of her.

No longer was she in the snowy mountains, but in a dry forest. The land was flatter here, greener, but duller, as though the sun refused to shine.

She didn't know where she was, but that didn't matter.

Because nothing mattered.

My mother is dead.

Her own sisters had stood by and watched it happen.

No. They participated in her death. That's worse than their inaction.

Her maker was dead.

My mother is dead.

And now Irina was alone.

The burn in the back of her throat had intensified, but she had no desire to hunt. She wondered if vampires could starve to death.

It hurts. Everything hurts.

Her mother was dead and her sisters were traitors.

She had nothing left, and living felt like agony.

Irina remembers the warm smile Sasha wore before her head was ripped from her body. She remembers her soothing words and calm reassurances. She remembers how her mother had faced death without fear, only love for her daughters.

She remembers the feel of the maker bond when she turned.

It had tethered her, it had given her a sense of belonging, a feeling of safety.

Irina remembers the agony of seeing her maker die and feeling the bond die with her.

SNAP!

The woman that had tethered her, the woman that had been a mother to her, was gone.

Gone. She's gone. I can't...I can't feel her anymore.

The bond had been severed.

Irina had felt it in her chest, and she knew Tatyana and Katrina could feel it too. It was startling, as though her feet had been pulled out from under her.

The bond that had once tethered her had been severed by death.

No longer was Irina grounded. She felt as though she were drifting, and no matter how hard she tried to come back to earth, she couldn't.

It hurts. Everything hurts.

The bond had been replaced with an emptiness she couldn't begin to describe. As though there was a gaping hole where her heart should have been.

Now there was nothing.

The warmth she had once felt was replaced with ice.

Vampires couldn't feel cold, but she remembers the frigid air that would chill her once human skin. She remembers times in which she couldn't warm herself, times in which she could hardly move.

All she could do was curl up in her home, hugging herself with useless blankets, and shivering so violently her teeth chattered and her lips turned blue.

She remembers parts of her body getting so cold they burned. She remembers the helplessness that came with the monstrous winters the mountain bore.

And she remembers…

"You won't freeze. Not while I'm around to keep you warm."

Erik.

But Erik wasn't there to fight off the harsh winters.

And now, neither was Sasha.

Irina stopped running.

With a sob she fell to her hands and knees, digging her fingers into the earth and desperately clinging to it, as though it could ground her. As though it would melt the ice in her chest.

"Erik." She breathed, sitting back on her knees and staring up at the dark, ominous clouds. "Mother." She whimpered, putting a hand over her heart. "I'm so cold."

It hurts. Everything hurts.

"I'm so cold and...and I don't know what to do." She choked out, waiting for a response, waiting for some sort of sign that they had heard her.

Nothing.

"My mother taught me and my brother that when we were little. There were four of us."

"One." She whispered, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around herself.

"Whenever we'd get angry or whenever we'd get scared, she'd tell us to count to four."

"Two."

"After he died I had to start counting to three...three."

"Three."

"It was agony but I could never bring myself to count to four..."

"Four."

"But, there's five of us."

"...F-Four…"

"Five is such a better number than three or four."

Irina's eyes snapped open, and slowly she felt the flames of rage begin to consume her.

"Four." A quiet snarl escaped her.

No. It's wrong! There's supposed to be five! FIVE!

"God...can you hear me?"

Silence.

An enraged scream ripped from her throat, and she slammed her fists into the ground. The earth trembled and succumbed to her strength. Cracks rippled across the ground, and deep craters caved to her fists.

"What kind of a God are you!" She roared, eyes burning with tears. "They didn't deserve to die! All they did was take care of me! All they did was love me, and you took them!"

Thunder rumbled overhead, making her bare her teeth. "What a fool I've been." Lightning streaked across the sky. "There is no God."

If there was one, he wouldn't have let this happen. The Volturi would suffer for what they did to her mother. And her sisters would be punished for their involvement.

Irina was tired of hurting.

She was tired of being in pain.

She would make the Volturi hurt, one way or another. She would make them pay for what they had done.

I'll kill them all. Each and every last one of them.

She would dole out the punishment for her treasonous sisters.

There is no God. I must create my own justice.

The ice still burned in her chest, but she was too enraged to feel the cold.

It had been a long time since she last fed. Her mind was fuzzy, unfocused.

She just wanted to make the pain go away, but she didn't know how.

Katrina taught me how to bear my teeth.

She glared at her hands, curling them into fists as she stood to her feet.

"You fucking monster!"

She bared her teeth.

If I have to become a monster, then I will.

Irina continued her run.

They betrayed me.

She couldn't feel the burning in her throat.

"Maybe we knew each other in a different life."

"Maybe we did."

But she could feel the burning in her eyes from her unshed tears.

"It would explain why I loved you from the first moment I saw you."

Bela.

My angel betrayed me.

Bela was supposed to be her soulmate. She was supposed to love Irina enough to protect their mother.

Her thoughts drifted to Katrina.

I hit Bela. And Katrina attacked me.

Shame threatened to consume her.

But Bela protected me from her.

Her jaw clenched.

"No matter what, I'll always keep you safe."

She was the reason Irina had failed to save their mother.

Bela should have protected our mother. Instead, she got in my way.

Katrina, who had loved Irina, just as Irina loved her, had been prepared to kill her for Bela.

And she knows that, if it had been Katrina's life on the line, Bela would have fought every member of the Volturi to keep her safe.

Why don't I have that?

She wanted a love like Katrina's and Bela's.

If I had that...my mate would have helped me save my mother. Just because it would make me happy.

But she didn't have a mate. She only had loneliness and resentment.

I don't have a mate. I don't have a mother. I don't have anything.

The solid heartbeat of a human made her stop dead in her tracks. Venom pooled in her mouth and her eyes widened as the sweet scent of blood washed over her.

She couldn't stop herself from seeking the human out, having to continuously swallow her venom to prevent herself from drooling. The burn in her throat roared to life and nearly made her choke.

Irina came across a shoddy cabin. Her hair got snagged on yet another branch, and she growled, impatiently yanking it free and leaving a few strands behind.

A man was chopping lumber, working up a sweat, and his increased heart rate nearly made Irina pounce on him then and there.

She stepped out from the undergrowth, about to lunge forward when brown eyes met hers.

The man gasped and dropped his ax. "W-Who are you?" His accent was similar to Garrett's.

Lust burned in his brown eyes, making Irina falter.

She should have been terrifying with her black eyes, but the man didn't seem bothered in the slightest.

She swallowed down her venom. "Irina."

He watched her with blown pupils, and his face reddened. "You're beautiful."

She wanted to drain him, but his admiration gave her pause. Her mind was still hazy, she could hardly make out his facial features. Yet, she could make out the blue veins in his arms and neck.

"You think I'm beautiful?"

He nodded vigorously, swallowing before wetting his lips. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Katrina says that to Bela. And Bela looks at her like she's the only woman on earth.

That's how this man looked at her.

Irina moved closer to him, placing her finger on his chest and slowly moving it down his torso. She got on her toes so she could rest her chin on his shoulder.

Right there.

She stared at the vein in his neck, ghosting a kiss over it before she whispered into his ear. "Do you love me?" She grabbed the top of his pants, smiling when he cursed under his breath.

"I love you. I do." He reached out, grabbing her waist and pulling her flush to him. "You're cold." He murmured, sounding confused.

"Then warm me up." She purred, slipping her hand into his pants. "Show me how much you love me." He nodded eagerly, picking her up and making her giggle.

He went into the cabin, placing her on his bed before taking off his clothes. She did the same, smile broadening as he climbed on top of her.

It felt good. It smothered the ice in her chest with fire, just as her rage had.

Irina wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing his face closer, and bypassing his lips to sink her teeth into his throat.

He groaned as she drank greedily from him. His heartbeat slowed, and when he died she still felt the warmth he had given her.

She would need more blood than that, but it was a start.

Her mind was no longer clouded, and she pushed his body off of hers.

Irina didn't have a mate.

She stood up, slipping her clothes back on before she left the cabin.

So, until she had one, she decided that this would suffice.

It was temporary love, but it made her feel good.

It distracted her.

No longer starving, she was able to think with more clarity.

My mother is dead and my sisters are traitors.

She licked her lips, enjoying the taste of blood that lingered.

But that doesn't mean I have to be alone.

---

When she was a human she had been a caretaker. Helping physicians with sickly patients and doing what she could to ensure they were well cared for. She had dealt with all manner of people. From those who despaired, to those who clung to hope, to those who were filled with nothing but hate.

She had learned much about people during her human years.

"You asked for me?"

Hilda smiled, not at all dismayed when her newborn scowled at her. "Yes. I would like to speak with you for a moment if you wouldn't mind."

Victoria narrowed her eyes. "I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

It had been a little over a month since she had become a vampire. While Heidi and Anne had been receptive to the maker bond, Victoria fought the bond as though her life depended on it.

Rarely would she go anywhere without Anne. And when the bond grew too strong for Victoria to ignore, she would merely sit in Hilda's vicinity, making as little conversation as possible.

Stubborn.

The older woman shook her head. "You always have a choice." Victoria looked taken aback by that but said nothing as she begrudgingly sat next to her on the cave floor. "I missed you."

"You don't even know me."

"I would like to."

Victoria looked at her before looking away. "Do you insist that I call you mother? Just as Heidi and my sister do?"

This made her laugh. "No. I'm not quite sure where that came from." She leaned her back against the cave wall and stretched out her legs. "I wasn't a mother when I was human." She told her. "Heidi had started calling me 'mother' as a joke but...she means it now. And Anne, she followed in Heidi's footsteps. But you don't have to do the same."

"Okay." She muttered, crossing her arms over her chest, sounding less hostile as she spoke. "What did you want to talk about?"

Keep it short. Concise.

"How's Anne doing?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Ask her yourself."

Hilda sighed. "She often hides her true feelings. She doesn't like making me worry." She folded her hands in her lap. "You two are so close, I figured she would be more open with you."

Victoria stared at her for a moment before answering. "She says she's fine, but I know she's worried about me." She shrugged, though Hilda could tell this distressed her. "Other than that she's happy."

The older vampire nodded slowly, taking a chance when she asked, "And you? Are you happy now that you're reunited with your sister?"

"Yes." She said, and yet Hilda could see the discontent that lingered in red eyes.

"Is there anything you need? Anything I can provide for you?"

Victoria frowned at her. "There's nothing that I need from you."

But there's something that you need.

Hilda knew better than to prolong their conversation. It would try the newborn's patience. "Let me know if that ever changes." She stood to her feet and turned her back to the redhead. "That will be all. Thank you for indulging me."

Victoria glared at her, not saying a word as she darted out of the cave, no doubt returning to Anne's side.

Hilda's specialty had been aiding those who refused help. Their cantankerous ways didn't deter her. Maybe she liked a challenge. Maybe she admired their ability to speak their mind, something she had struggled with in her youth.

She wasn't sure why, but she was always drawn to them.

I haven't given it much thought. But perhaps I should.

...

"You asked for me?"

Hilda smiled, even though her newborn didn't return it. "Yes. I have a question for you."

Victoria regarded her warily. "What?"

"Anne. What is her favorite color?"

The newborn stared at her, a sneer on her lips and her hands curled into fists. "You couldn't have asked her that?"

"She claims she doesn't have one."

Victoria rolled her eyes. "She has colors she prefers, but not a favorite." Her annoyance washed away at the mention of her sister, just as it always had. "She likes bold colors." The hint of a smile played on her lips. "She told me that she always loved the color red. It reminds her of me."

Hilda chuckled. "Both you and the color red are very striking. I can see why she favors it." She looked at her curiously. "What about you?"

The newborn furrowed her brow thoughtfully. "...I don't think I have a favorite either. But I like green."

"Why green?"

"It was the color of Anne's eyes," Victoria said without hesitation. "When Anne left, the color green reminded me of her, and…" she trailed off, realizing just how much information she was giving.

Hilda reached out to pat her shoulder, quickly withdrawing her hand when Victoria flinched away from her.

Fear filled red eyes, and for a moment she looked lost. One shoulder was slightly raised, shielding her face slightly. The newborn leaned away from Hilda, body tense and hands curled into fists, bracing herself for a hit that would never come.

Victoria looked small and afraid as she stared at Hilda's hand. She looked like the child that Anne had described to her.

"Do you know what you've done! She needs me! She's scared and alone!" Anne had cried. "I can't protect her now! What will she think when I don't come back?" Her first words when she had awoken as a newborn had haunted Hilda ever since. "She's everything to me. I'm all that she has." She had looked more broken then than she had as a working girl. "Who's going to hold her hand?"

Hilda felt her own eyes water and she turned her back on her newborn, knowing better than to broach the subject.

Not yet. She's not ready.

"Thank you for indulging me, Victoria. That will be all."

I'm so sorry I took your sister away.

Victoria let out an enraged snarl before she left the cave. Thundering through the forest, angrily knocking trees down as she ran as far from the cave as she could.

I'm so sorry I didn't save you sooner.

...

All she had ever wanted to do was help people. Helping others brought her joy.

Even when she failed. Even when those under her care died. At the very least they knew that someone cared and that she had tried her hardest to do what she could to save them.

It had taken her many years to realize these failures had been out of her hands. Every loss of life had felt personal, and she had carried the grief and fear with her for far too long.

It had hindered her ability to help others, it had crippled her. Hilda had begun to deteriorate and was it not for Heidi, it would have killed her.

Though, she sometimes found herself ruminating on her failures, and thinking of what she could have done differently.

Victoria...

"Mother." Hilda looked down from her perch, smiling at the sight of her eldest daughter.

"Hello, sweetling. Care to join me? I was just watching the sunrise."

The brunette scaled the tree with ease, joining Hilda on the thick branch that supported her. The older vampire shifted closer to the tree trunk, making room for her daughter.

Heidi laid her head in Hilda's lap and stretched her legs out on the remainder of the tree limb. Hilda gently ran her hair through her dark hair, smiling when Heidi closed her eyes and began to purr.

They remained like that for a moment, basking in each other's presence as the sky changed from its deep blue to light pink. The sun was slowly creeping up the sky, and that's when Heidi opened her eyes.

"You and your sunrises." She hummed, watching the sun's ascent. "A new day means a new beginning." She quoted, smiling at the quiet laugh that she evoked from Hilda.

"Had I known you had just come to mock me, I wouldn't have invited you to watch the sunrise."

Heidi rolled her eyes playfully. "Yes, you would have." Red eyes peered up at her, no longer cheerful. "Victoria-"

Hilda pursed her lips. "I know what you're going to say."

"I'm going to say it anyway." She insisted. "Why do you bother with her? I don't, and I'm happier for it." She muttered, brow furrowing. "She's unpleasant to be around. Even Anne struggles reigning her in."

She gave Heidi a bemused look. "It's not as though you made a very good first impression."

Her daughter huffed at the reminder. "That's beside the point. I haven't misbehaved since. Not that it matters." She smirked. "She wants me anyway, no matter how much she tries to deny it."

"Heidi."

"Sorry." She had the decency to look sheepish, even though Hilda knew she felt no shame. "You didn't answer my question. Why do you bother with such an ungrateful newborn?"

"She's my newborn. My responsibility." But it was more than that. "She's been alone for so long...don't blame her for my inaction."

Heidi sat up, frowning at her. "There's nothing you could have done. Anne was a newborn, Victoria had been too young to turn, and it would have been irresponsible to bring Victoria with us. Anne could have hurt her."

"I could have waited. I was too eager to rescue Anne, and Victoria suffered for that."

Heidi sighed and shook her head. "You can't change the past. You're the one who taught me that." She turned her attention to the sunrise. "A new day means a new beginning. Keep moving forward, that's all you can do." Hilda felt a fond smile appear on her lips. "I don't like Victoria, but for you, I'll try. But only if you stop blaming yourself for what happened."

Hilda nodded, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her daughter's temple. "My smart girl. What would I do without you?"

She smiled playfully at her. "I already know our coven would be lost without me."

"It would be."

"But it would be nothing without you." She took Hilda's hands in hers. "We wouldn't be here...we wouldn't be free if it weren't for you. We probably wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for you. Take some pride in that."

Hilda felt warmth bloom in her chest. "If I am to take pride in anything, it's that you and Anne feel loved enough by me to view me as your mother."

Heidi kissed her knuckles. "I love you." She slipped off the tree branch. "We will both move forward, and we'll make nice with Victoria."

Hilda jumped down from her perch, walking alongside her daughter. She cast her a wary glance. "If you do choose to pursue anything with Victoria...do be careful, please."

"I'll behave." She said, putting her hands behind her back as they continued to walk. "If she gives me her trust, I will not forsake it." Heidi shot her an amused smile. "I don't think Anne will let me live long if I did."

Hilda grimaced and shook her head. "Oh, I think you should worry more about Victoria."

She rolled her eyes. "Really, mother? Victoria is good at running away, not so much fighting."

"You've seen her fight?"

"She refuses to, and that tells me all I need to know about her."

"You underestimate her. But I don't, and neither does her sister. So heed my warning." The older vampire looked down at her hands for a moment. "Anne, despite how loving she is, would kill for her sister. She would die for her. That much is obvious." She then looked back up at Heidi. "But Victoria...well, Anne has informed me about her emotions."

Heidi raised a brow. "And?"

She couldn't help but wince. "May I speak plainly?"

"Always."

"Victoria was thirteen when she lost Anne. Five years is a long time to be alone. Imagine spending five years thinking your sister, the only person you've ever loved, was dead." Hilda murmured, ignoring the guilt that began to creep to the service. "The pain Victoria endured, both physically and mentally, has changed her. She's obsessive about those five years she was alone. She refuses to talk about it."

"You said you would speak plainly."

Hilda refrained from rolling her eyes at her daughter's impatience. "What I'm saying is, Anne would kill you. It would be quick and clean. You would feel nothing." She met Heidi's steady gaze. "Victoria would torture you. Your death would be slow and painful."

"Are you trying to scare me?"

Hilda shook her head. "Victoria is a broken and lost soul, and she deserves our patience and understanding." She sighed, "I'm not trying to scare you. I'm trying to warn you." She told her, "In her mind, anyone that has wronged her or her sister doesn't deserve mercy."

Heidi shrugged, not taking her seriously. "As I said earlier, she can't fight very well-"

"Heidi." Hilda snapped. "Listen to me. Victoria won't speak about her past, but Anne has seen a few of her memories. Strength is not how she has killed those who wronged her. She is cunning, she is dangerous and you would do well to remember that. Do you understand me?"

Her eldest nodded slowly, taking in her words before speaking. "I understand, mother. Don't worry, I won't do anything to put myself in that position." She vowed, and Hilda sighed before planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you. That's all I ask."

...

Hilda vividly remembers a young man she had once cared for. It was her first time working alongside physicians, and the young man had been the first person she was assigned to.

His name was Gunter, and he had gone from being the son of a prominent family to a street urchin mired in debt.

He did not outwardly despair, instead, he blamed the world for his misery.

Everyone was at fault for his penchant of purchasing what he could not afford, with money that did not belong to him. Everyone was at fault for his family disowning him. Everyone was at fault for the illness he contracted. Everyone was at fault for how miserable his life had become.

Nothing was ever his fault. He never made mistakes. And if Gunter could not find a person to blame then he would blame God.

He berated any and all of Hilda's attempts to help him. All her kindness, all she did for him, was overlooked. Gunter had repaid her gentle smiles with nasty scowls. He had repaid her soft words with cruel ones. He had repaid her vigilant care with silence.

He never so much as uttered a thank you.

Hilda had never encountered someone so ungrateful and entrenched in their own denial. She didn't understand him and she didn't want to.

Helping had always brought her joy, but Gunter made her dread doing what she had once loved, and she had hated him for it.

"You asked for me?"

Hilda smiled, pleased that Victoria didn't greet her with her usual scowl. "Yes. I have a question for you." Victoria said nothing so she continued. "Your sister, what does she like?"

"You know the answer to this question." Hilda stared at her imploringly and the newborn rolled her eyes. "She really likes flowers. Why are you asking me?"

The older vampire sat on the cave floor, but Victoria remained standing. "You know her better than anyone. I'm very grateful that you were able to tell me the colors she likes. I thought, if you'd like, you could help me with something else."

"No."

"You aren't curious?" Victoria opened her mouth to speak before closing it. "You don't have to help me. I just wanted to plan something nice for your sister."

"...what is it?" Victoria moved closer, sitting next to Hilda on the cave floor.

Hilda beamed at her. "Fall is approaching, and I thought it would be nice if we decorated the cave with red poppies for your sister. They grow not far from here, a whole field of them."

The newborn looked at her in surprise. "Why are you doing this for her?"

"She's my daughter and I love her. What other reason do I need?"

Victoria looked away from her, shrugging as she said, "I don't know...but...I would like to help." A sigh escaped her. "She deserves nice things." She sounded guilty.

Not yet. Don't push. She's not ready.

"She does." Hilda stood to her feet. "The flowers haven't bloomed yet. We have, at the very least, another two weeks until we do." She turned her back to her. "Thank you, Victoria. That will be all."

The newborn was on her feet in an instant, now in front of her with her teeth bared and eyes black. "Why do you keep sending for me, and then sending me away?"

Hilda stood her ground. "Do you wish to stay?" Victoria froze, looking at her with wide eyes. "You always have a choice, and I will never take that away from you. If you would like to stay, then by all means. But if you would like to leave, I won't stop you."

Victoria looked conflicted, growling angrily under her breath before turning on her heel and exiting the cave.

Hilda remembers yelling at Gunter. She hadn't been able to maintain her happy facade, not when he was so unbearable to be around.

She lectured him about blaming others for everything that went wrong in his life. She had never screamed at anyone before meeting Gunter. And it felt so good to unleash all her pent-up anger on him.

It felt good to call him what he truly was.

Until it didn't.

"You don't get it!" Gunter had roared. "I've already lost everything! And now you expect me to take responsibility for my faults?" Tears had streamed down his cheeks as he spoke. "The one thing that's intact is my mind. Would you like me to lose that too?"

"You asked for me? Is it about the poppies?"

"No." Heidi smiled at Victoria, unbothered by the usual glare she received. "Just wanted to see how you were doing."

Victoria narrowed her eyes. "Why do you care?" She joined her maker on the cave floor, sitting next to her with her legs crossed.

Hilda knew to tread carefully. "The newborn stage is really intense. Overwhelming."

A hiss escaped her. "What's overwhelming is this stupid bond."

It wouldn't be if you stopped fighting it.

"It is." Hilda agreed. "However, with or without it, I would worry about you nonetheless."

"I'm not some pitiful child!" Victoria was on her feet in an instant, looming over Hilda with black eyes and bared teeth.

Her maker stared up at her. "There is nothing pitiful about you. You're very strong." She said truthfully, watching as the girl's anger melted away. "I have a question for you. You don't have to answer if you don't want to." When her newborn said nothing she continued. "When Anne was gone, why did you keep fighting?"

Victoria leaned back, eyeing her warily. "Why do you think?"

She was surprised the newborn asked for an opinion. She knew her answer held a lot of weight, so she spoke her mind. "You fought because that's what Anne would have wanted you to do."

Victoria laughed scornfully at that, shaking her head and wearing a cold smile on her lips. "I knew you would give me a stupid answer like that."

Hilda looked at her curiously. "I gave the answer that I thought to be true." This made Victoria falter. "So, why did you keep fighting? If not for your sister, then for who?"

The newborn growled quietly, looking away from her as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I did fight for my sister. But in a different way." She glanced at her maker. "I thought Anne was dead." She clenched her jaw, glaring at the cave floor as she spoke. "The kindest person I knew was dead, but those that tormented us still drew breath." Black eyes met Hilda's, filled with a righteous vengeance that made the older vampire feel wary. "That's when I learned there was no God."

Hilda stood to her feet, wanting to approach Victoria, wanting to calm her, but knowing better than to do so.

"But your sister is back now." She murmured, keeping her distance. "I know you struggled without her but-"

She bared her teeth at her. "A lot happened during those five years." Her anger wasn't towards Hilda, much to her surprise. "I fought for my sister the only way I knew how." She looked at her hands, curling them into fists. "I tracked down the ones who hurt us. I made them suffer." Victoria smiled, pleased with herself as she met Hilda's steady gaze. "I enacted justice because God couldn't. I enacted justice because, if God were real, our tormentors would already be in Hell."

You poor soul.

"A life for a life."

Hilda didn't let her sympathy show. She knew that would only anger her newborn. "Was it worth it?"

"Of course it was." Victoria scoffed. "Seeing the light leave their eyes. Hearing them beg for mercy. It was what I clung to. It was how I survived." She clenched her jaw. "The only one that hasn't paid is Gregory. But his time will come."

"And then what?"

Victoria blinked, looking at her in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Hilda tilted her head to the side. "When all is said and done, what will you do?" Her newborn said nothing. "The suffering you inflicted upon them is temporary. They got to die after. But the suffering they inflicted on you and Anne…"

"Shut up."

"Killing them won't make the pain go away. No matter how much they deserve it." She spoke gently, still not moving closer to Victoria. She couldn't bear it if she made her newborn flinch again. "What if Anne hadn't found you, and you had killed Gregory as a human." Hilda looked at her knowingly. "You said you fought for your sister by enacting justice. But what would come after? What would you fight for then?"

The newborn snarled at her but didn't make a move to close the gap between them. "Has Anne been talking to you? What did she say? What-"

"Do you not have an answer for my question?"

Victoria hissed, relaxingly slightly and looking away from her. "Well, your scenario didn't happen, did it?"

"A fair point," Hilda conceded. "And if you were to kill Gregory now. What then?"

She was quiet for a moment before saying, "Then I live the rest of my life with Anne. I'll finally be happy knowing all our enemies are dead." Dark eyes met bright red ones. "I'll be happy knowing they all got what they deserved."

Hilda wouldn't lecture her. She wouldn't impose her ideology on her newborn. That was no business of hers.

Anne was already working through Victoria's emotions. It was not Hilda's place to push for more than what she was given.

Instead, she nodded. "That's a good ending. A happy one."

Dark eyes widened, and she looked down at her hands for a moment. "A happy ending...I never thought I would get one of those." She whispered, and Hilda couldn't help but smile warmly at her.

"I hope you can find peace with your sister." She gave her a slight bow, averting her gaze, letting Victoria know that she wouldn't comment on her vulnerability. "I hope you can find peace in our coven."

Victoria looked back up at her, looking almost afraid, but Hilda wasn't sure of what. She opened her mouth to speak before thinking better of it.

It's okay. You don't have to say anything.

"Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with me, Victoria. You have no idea what this means to me." Hilda murmured, overcome with happiness at the sight of her blooming newborn. "That will be all for today."

But Victoria didn't leave.

Instead, she sat on the cave floor once again, looking exhausted, and hugging her knees to her chest.

Wordlessly, Hilda sat next to her, leaning her back against the cave and closing her eyes.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for what felt like hours. And it wasn't until Anne came looking for Victoria, who was surprised that her sister hadn't returned to her immediately like she always had, that Victoria left Hilda.

"Thank you." The newborn muttered before leaving with her sister.

Hilda couldn't help but smile after her.

"Always."

...

Hilda often thinks of when she had screamed at Gunter.

She had called Gunter a coward.

He had laughed at her. "You think I don't know that?" He had laughed so hard that his face turned red. "I wake up every day, knowing exactly who I am and what I've done! But confronting that is a fate worse than death!" He stopped laughing. "So I fight. I fight even though I have nothing left. I fight because it's the only thing that gives me the will to live."

If he was so miserable, why did he continue to fight?

"Because, when I finally die...I know that Hell awaits me." He whispered. "And not a soul will mourn me."

It had felt so good to yell at him. But that temporary victory had ended up tasting like ashes in her mouth.

Gunter's bottom lip had trembled, and he had looked up at her with his broken green eyes. "I fight because...I'm afraid of what will happen when I finally stop."

Hilda remembers being stunned by his confession. She remembers hugging the sobbing man to her chest and feeling the weight of his grief on her heart.

She remembers that that was the day she could finally see clearly.

Victoria entered the cave without saying a word, and Hilda gave her a bright smile. "I'm glad you're here. Are you ready to go?" She held her hand out to her.

The newborn glared at it. "Yes."

Right. Hand holding is special to you. Intimate.

Hilda withdrew her hand, never losing her smile as she led the way to the poppy fields. "Thank you again for coming with me. Heidi is with Anne right now, keeping her distracted so we can decorate the cave."

"Okay."

They ran in silence until they reached the poppy fields. The sun was beginning to rise, and the morning dew glinted in its brilliant rays of light.

The poppies had bloomed. Beautiful fields of red were stretched out before them, and Hilda snuck a glance at Victoria.

The newborn's eyes were wide open as she took in the sight. Without saying a word, she walked forward, running her fingers gently along the poppy petals. She looked more at ease without Anne than Hilda had ever seen her.

Victoria's hair nearly blended in with the flower petals. She looked natural in the field of flowers. She looked at peace as she turned her gaze to the sunrise.

The rays of light began to devour the dark skies. "A new day. A new beginning." Hilda murmured, garnering Victoria's attention as she joined her in the field. "Do you like the color red?"

She looked a little overwhelmed by the question, averting her gaze and looking down at the flowers. "No." She grumbled, still touching the petals, but never daring to pick a flower. "Red has only ever caused me and Anne trouble."

Hair that looks like fire. Hair that was believed to belong to the damned.

"Well," she plucked a flower from its stem and held it out to her. "I think it's a beautiful color."

Victoria stared at the flower in her hand, hesitating before she accepted it. She examined the poppy for a moment, eyes softening as she thumbed the petals.

"It's...not so bad, sometimes." She murmured before glancing up at Hilda. "What about you?" Hilda looked at her in confusion. "What color do you like, I mean." The newborn grumbled, sounding a bit embarrassed.

Hilda smiled, warmth blooming in her chest at the progress they were making. "I like red. But my favorite color would have to be green."

Victoria raised her eyebrows. "Green?"

"Yes. Green." She looked out at the sunrise. "The color of Gunter's eyes." She then turned to Victoria. "The color of you and your sister's eyes."

The vampire looked like she wanted to ask about Gunter, but instead, she looked at the poppy in her hand. "Do we...do we have to pick them?"

The girl who slaughtered her enemies didn't want to kill the flowers.

Hilda suppressed her look of surprise. "It would bother you if we did?"

Victoria shrugged, looking away from her as she spoke. "We could...plant these around the cave...if that's alright."

The happiness that engulfed Hilda was nearly breathtaking. It brought tears to her eyes.

"That's an amazing idea." Slowly, she reached out, gauging Victoria's reaction as she placed a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you for your help. I know this has been challenging for you, but I really appreciate all that you're doing."

Victoria leaned into her touch, finally behaving as a newborn would to their maker. "I'm...this is for Anne." She grumbled, and Hilda laughed quietly, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"I know. But you didn't have to help me." Her smile grew even wider. "I'm glad you're here."

She frowned at her. "Why?" A look akin to guilt crossed her face. "I haven't been nice to you. Why would you want me here?"

Hilda's smile softened. "Because you are giving me the chance to get to know you. Your love for your sister is admirable." She gave her shoulder another squeeze. "You are my newborn, you are wonderful and intelligent and beautiful, and I am so excited to see who you'll become."

Victoria stared at her with a look of awe, as though she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Tears filled red eyes, but her newborn didn't shy away from her this time. Instead, she looked down at the poppy that was still in her hand.

Victoria didn't look like Gunter, but she reminded her so much of him that it made her heartache.

It's safe for you.

Broken red eyes gazed up at her.

When you stop fighting, know that I will be at your side, ready to protect you.

"Are you ready to get started?"

When you stop fighting…

Hilda's eyes widened at the feeling of Victoria's tight embrace.

Know that you aren't alone.

She smiled, tears welling in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her newborn.

And you will never be alone again.

---

"Are you actually going to speak to me this time?" Carmen hummed, smiling slightly at the glare Bela gave her.

"I have nothing to say to you." She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on her knee.

Carmen leaned back, twirling the knife between her fingers before a quiet laugh escaped her. "No?" She raised a bemused brow. "Is that why you occasionally sit near me in silence?" Bela said nothing and she sighed, running her thumb along the wood in her hand. "You don't have to like me, but we should at least tolerate one another. We'll be fighting together, and I need to trust that you'll protect me with that shield of yours."

Bela narrowed her eyes. "I wouldn't let anything hurt you." She spoke with such conviction that Carmen's eyes widened. Even Bela seemed stunned by her words.

"Well, thank you." The girl looked away from her, appearing frustrated. "Your mate is a good fighter." She said, turning her attention back to her carving. "But very angry. It makes her sloppy."

"Okay."

"Riveting conversation." She glanced at Bela, who only glared at her in response. "You seem to have no problems speaking with my mate."

"He's nice."

"And I'm not?" She dragged her knife over the wood, narrowing her eyes as she brushed aside a wood shaving and worked on the corner of the ear. "What do you know about wolves?"

Carmen could hear the frown in Bela's voice. "You mean the shifters?"

"No. Real wolves." When she didn't speak the older woman continued. "Wolf packs consist of the father, mother, and their pups from the last few years." She brushed more shavings aside. "When they're old enough the pups go out on their own, but until then, they help their parents take care of the newest litter."

Finished.

"But take a wolf pup from their family, unless adopted by a new pack, they're unlikely to survive."

Unbidden thoughts of her past came to her mind.

"You're a tough girl, aren't you? Put that knife away. Come get some food."

"What does this have to do with anything?" Bela groused.

Carmen refrained from hissing at the girl. "Nothing. Just making conversation." She said, "Eleazar told me that. He thinks they're beautiful. Fascinating." She chuckled before looking at Bela. "Do you hunt wolves?"

The shield, to her surprise, shook her head vigorously. "Never."

"Why not?"

She scowled at her. "It's just...wrong! I would never hurt them!"

"You can hunt deer and elk but a wolf is where you draw the line?"

Bela glared at her and stood to her feet. "You wouldn't get it."

Carmen rolled her eyes. "Well, when you don't explain things, how do you expect anyone to understand you?" She stood as well, holding her carving out to Bela. "Here."

Bela stared at it, eyes softening as she took the carving into her hands. "It's...beautiful."

She smiled. "I'm glad you think so. His name is Ghost."

Gold eyes widened. "Ghost?"

Carmen nodded. "He's not a real wolf, but he will bring you comfort during difficult times...if you let him." Bela seemed at a loss for words, instead, she went to hand the wooden wolf back to her. "No. I made him for you."

The girl's eyes watered. "Why?" She stared at the little wolf in her hand, voice thick with emotion.

A strange feeling overwhelmed her. A desire to comfort Bela. A desire to soothe her, despite Bela's cantankerous attitude towards her.

Carmen took Bela's hand and gently had the girl curl her fingers around the wolf. "My mother would make me carvings when I was upset. It always made me feel better."

For a moment Bela relaxed into her touch, looking touched by the gesture.

But just as quickly as it came, it went. And anger overtook her features.

"Mother." She muttered darkly, ripping her hand away from Carmen's. "Is that what you think you are?"

Carmen clenched her jaw. "No. I have never wanted that for myself. And if you think I intend to become a mother to you and your sisters, then you're sadly mistaken." She suppressed her snarl. "I was just trying to be nice-" the loud snap of wood made her mouth slam shut.

Bela sneered at her, tossing the pieces of wood at Carmen's feet. "I don't need your pity."

A hiss escaped her. "Well, you just gained my pity! A girl your age shouldn't behave like such a child! It's pitiful!"

"You're pitiful! So was that stupid carving!" Bela snarled, turning on her heel and darting away.

And Carmen was left alone, staring at what remained of Ghost.

...

"I could strangle her!" Carmen ranted, pacing back and forth in the house.

Eleazar looked amused by her anger. "Seems you met your match. And here I thought it would be Katrina."

"I wish Bela were more like Katrina." She growled. "Hell, I would prefer it if she were more like Tatyana. At least she can talk to me without hostility."

Her mate hummed, leaning back in his seat and staring up at her. "Well, Bela and I get along just fine."

Carmen glared at him. "This isn't funny."

"Of course it isn't, mi corazón." The quirk of his lips betrayed his sincerity. "This must be how your mother felt during your teenage years."

"I wasn't this bad. I never destroyed her carvings-"

"Not in front of her, no." Eleazar reached out, taking her hand and stopping her pacing. "But you would get angry enough that, when you were away from her, you'd throw them into the sea or crush them beneath your foot." A smile played on his lips. "Perhaps karma is real, and it came in the form of Bela."

Carmen growled under her breath. "I don't understand her. It's like she's fighting the urge to become close to me."

"After everything she and her family have been through, can you blame her?" He mused, leaning back in his seat and pulling her into his lap. "Be as gentle as you can with her."

She lost her mother, then her little sister ran away. Of course, she isn't going to be very forthcoming. But why doesn't she give Eleazar the same trouble? That's hardly fair. I doubt he made her any carvings.

Carmen clenched her jaw. "You want me to roll over and let her say whatever she wants-"

"I didn't say that." Eleazar huffed. "I just said to be as gentle as you can be." He snickered at her. "Besides, the day you can hold your tongue will be the day pigs can fly."

---

Heidi didn't know what to make of Victoria, but what she did know was that she was easy to read.

"Why do you keep bothering me?" The redhead snapped, stalking through the forest. Though she noticed that the newborn was careful not to trample any of the flowers that sprouted from the ground.

Heidi smiled, following Victoria diligently. "You don't really want me to go away. You're putting on a ruse that not even Anne believes, and she can be pretty gullible."

"Don't talk about my sister."

"Well, she's my sister too."

The newborn whirled on her, making Heidi stop dead in her tracks. "She's not. Not by blood." She growled. "Hilda may be our mother, but you and Anne do not share the same birth mother. She is my sister."

Heidi weighed her options, cocking her head to the side and saying, "Half-sister."

A sharp crack ripped through the air and Heidi hissed as she flew backward. She slammed into the ground, rolling to her feet right as Victoria barreled into her.

They rolled around the forest floor, the redhead was snarling and throwing punches, all of which Heidi took without defending herself. Each blow cracked her skin, but she didn't retaliate.

I deserve it for saying such a terrible thing.

She had given it little thought, merely wanting a reaction, and now she would endure the consequences.

Victoria ended up on top of her, wrapping her hands around her throat and growling in her face. "Why aren't you fighting back!"

My mother warned me about you.

Heidi stared up at her. But she didn't see a vindictive, spiteful woman. She saw the hurt her callous comment had made.

She could see it in the way Victoria's eyes tightened and the way her jaw clenched.

But you're not as frightening as she made you out to be.

"What I said was wrong, and I'm sorry." Heidi murmured.

Victoria gritted her teeth, releasing Heidi and standing to her feet. "Your death would hurt Hilda. Our mother doesn't deserve to suffer because of your stupidity."

She slowly stood, not breaking eye contact with the newborn as she spoke. "Thank you." She reached out to her, eyes widening when she noticed Victoria flinch.

Just like Anne used to.

Shame and rage made red eyes bleed black, and Victoria disappeared before she could say another word.

...

There was a loud banging on the door.

"Papa...I'm scared."

"What? My brave Heidi is scared?"

"...what if he gets in again?"

"Well, my brave girl can't be scared, can she?" He stood to his feet, grinning as he pointed at the floorboards. "Who will be the one to dive into the sharky sea and get the treasure?"

The girl sniffled, rubbing her red eyes before answering. "I-I can do it."

The man put his hands on his hips and raised a bemused brow. "Oh? You don't sound very sure of yourself."

A weak cough escaped her, and she stumbled to her feet. "I'm sure!" The loud banging became quieter. "I can get the treasure. Sharks don't scare me!"

A hearty laugh escaped him and he nodded. "Good! Then let's go!" He got on top of their bed, holding his hand out to the child and helping her up. "We go on three, ready?"

She grinned, no longer registering the loud pounding that came from outside their room. She had no time for it, not when there was treasure to be found.

Heidi stared at the churning water below, watching as it careened into the cliffside.

"Ready."

"Do you always talk to yourself?" The sound of Victoria's voice nearly made her jump. She hadn't been paying attention. Too trapped in her own head. Too trapped in her own memories.

A problem for all vampires, Hilda had told her. The biggest curse that plagued their kind, she had said.

Heidi turned as Victoria walked to stand next to her. "Why are you here?"

Her coven mate sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Mother said I should apologize for hitting you. And Anne agreed. So...here I am."

When she said nothing else Heidi raised a brow. "I'm not hearing an apology."

"No, you're not." She spared her a glance. "Anne told me it's important to be honest because not everyone can understand me like she can." Victoria turned her attention back towards the sea. "Any apology you got from me would be a lie. Because the only thing I'm sorry for is not hitting you harder for saying what you did."

"Understandable."

This, apparently, was the wrong response. "Why didn't you hit me back?" She hissed, narrowing her eyes at her. "You just let me...why didn't you defend yourself!"

Heidi kept her gaze directed towards the sea. "Why does it bother you that I didn't fight back?"

"Because you're...you shouldn't just let someone hit you!"

"I deserved it."

"Yeah, but…"

Taking each hit reminds you of yourself.

Heidi grinned and looked down at the water. "I bet I can jump in and climb back up to the top faster than you can."

Victoria scowled at her. "What are you talking about?"

"I challenged you. But you're probably too scared to accept it-"

"I'm not scared of some stupid challenge!"

Easy.

She smirked at her. "We go on three, ready?"

Victoria growled and lowered herself slightly, preparing to dive into the water.

"Ready!"

Her father grinned. "Three!" She squealed in surprise as they jumped off the bed.

Heidi laughed when she heard Victoria falling in after her, cursing her the whole way down until they struck the water. Heidi, of course, had gone in first, whirling around and digging her fingers and shoes into the cliffside.

Her wet hair obscured her vision but she didn't waste time moving it from her face as she scaled up the cliff. It was exhilarating, and when she reached the top she cheered loudly.

She pushed her hair from her face just in time to see a soaked Victoria appear on top of the cliff. Her once tight curls were wavier, weighed down by the weight of the water, and her drenched hair nearly looked brown.

Heidi almost cooed over how cute she looked as she stormed over to her, red eyes narrowed and teeth bared.

"You didn't count to three, you cheater!"

"I asked if you were ready, and you said you were. And I said 'on three', I didn't say I'd count to three."

Heidi explained, laughing as Victoria snapped her teeth at her before brushing past her. "Again. And this time, no cheating!"

The seductress stood at her side, preparing to dive in. "Fine. This time I'll behave."

"You mean it?" The child asked, watching her father suspiciously. "The sharks heard me scream, they're not scared of me now because you tricked me!"

He laughed and helped her back on top of the bed. "I told you that I'd behave. And I meant it." He interlaced their fingers. "Ready?"

Victoria shot her a glare. "Ready."

"One, two-"

"Three!"

Playing games was how she had survived her human years.

Distractions had kept her sanity intact.

And meaningless conversations had kept her jovial.

Heidi had relied on her inner child in order to fight back her grief.

It was her father that had taught her the value of mischief. He taught her the value of silly jokes and stories and all other kinds of nonsense.

"Life changes, much like the weather." He had told her. "The sun will not always shine, and when that happens you will need to find the light. Oftentimes, you'll have to create this light yourself. That way the darkness can't swallow you up."

She remembers becoming sick. She remembers being too weak to walk. She remembers becoming hopeless. She remembers being taken to the sickhouse.

"Just as the sun won't always shine, know that when the rain comes, it will never rain forever. And knowing this...well, that should provide you with a bit of light. Maybe even a shelter, so you can weather the storm."

She remembers meeting Hilda.

She remembers meeting Anne.

"Anne, your sister is-"

She groaned and shook her head. "Heidi, if you're here to complain again-"

"I like her."

Anne looked at her with wide eyes. "You do?"

"I do." She hesitated before asking, "And you're sure it wouldn't bother you if I…"

She grimaced, turning her attention back to the poppies that decorated the cave. "She can make her own decisions. Just...don't toy with her, Heidi. She can't handle that." She then shot her a firm look. "And I'll be forced to separate your head from your body."

Heidi rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Just because I'm a seductress doesn't mean that-"

"Siren." Anne corrected, inspecting the poppies once again to ensure they were growing properly. "That's what the humans call you."

"I crashed a couple of ships a few years ago and suddenly I'm a monster." She muttered. "Have you seen some of the artwork they put me in?" She scowled. "They gave me a tail and hideous teeth!"

"Can you blame them?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"They view you as a monster. Beautiful women aren't supposed to be monstrous. It makes the men scared." Anne chuckled.

Heidi snorted. "It's my fault that sailors are stupid enough to steer their ships into the rocks?"

"Well, you did sing for them."

Hilda exited the cave and Heidi pointed at her. "Our mother was there with me!"

Their mother smiled sheepishly. "That was so many years ago. Your hunting methods were effective. We didn't have to feed for months and…" she frowned. "It was you that used your power to lure them in. I don't see why I'm coming into question."

Anne smirked. "You aren't. My siren sister is merely deflecting...again."

Heidi suppressed her smile, not wanting to give her pesky younger sister the satisfaction. "Hush, you." She looked around the clearing. "Where's Victoria?"

"The poppy fields. She wanted to be alone."

She grinned. "Perfect. I'll be back." She ignored their calls for caution as she raced out of the clearing. Excited to see the redhead.

"Distractions are...complicated."

"They seem pretty simple to me."

"They are until they aren't."

Victoria wasn't at the poppy fields.

Heidi followed her scent to the cliffside.

When she arrived was the first time she had witnessed Victoria's pure rage.

The newborn was screaming, throwing large rocks into the ocean and spewing curses into the air.

It wasn't the same rage Heidi had experienced firsthand. That had been rage tinged with sadness. It was a controlled anger that allowed Victoria to hold back.

But this rage was unrestrained.

And Heidi could only watch on in silence as the newborn continued yelling and throwing things, noticeably never attacking any of the plant life around her.

When she finally noticed Heidi was when she stopped screaming. She expected the redhead to barrel towards her, or curse at her, or throw things at her.

But she didn't.

"They don't get it!" Victoria growled, beginning to pace. "Gregory should be killed, but they won't let me do it." She paused, a mocking laugh escaped her as she turned to look at Heidi. "I mean, they 'discourage' me from killing Gregory."

Gregory.

She remembered Anne telling her about him.

"He certainly doesn't deserve to live." Heidi mused.

Victoria nodded. "I would make him watch as I slowly ripped the flesh from his bones." Her eyes glazed over. "He would plead for me to stop, but why should I?" Her voice was coated with venom, and the intensity made Heidi shift uncomfortably. "He never stopped when we begged for him to." She swallowed thickly, curling her hands into fists. "He would keep hitting and hitting and hitting...and I should make him suffer for it."

Heidi eyed her warily, understanding her anger, but somewhat fearing it all the same. Her mother's warning rang in her ears, and she would do well to heed it.

"Is that what you did to the others?"

Victoria laughed but nothing was funny. "They all died in different ways." Heidi wasn't sure she wanted Victoria to elaborate, and thankfully, she didn't.

"A better world with them gone." She eyed her carefully. "And I'm sure you're happier for it, too."

Victoria faltered, abruptly turning her back to Heidi and staring out at the ocean. The seductress chanced a step closer, relieved when the newborn didn't react negatively to her presence.

"I...I should be happier." Victoria grumbled, glaring angrily ahead. "I'm happy when I think about making them hurt, just like they made me hurt. But...sometimes I feel so cold and, when I'm honest with myself, I know that the joy Gregory's death will bring is only temporary." Her hands were no longer curled into fists, and her stare was void of all emotion. "Hilda was right. I have to live with what they did to me, but they die once I'm done with them." She looked at Heidi, lost and confused. "What kind of justice is that?"

Heidi reached out, moving slowly so Victoria had time to pull away if that was what she wanted. But the newborn remained still as she took her hand in hers, interlacing their fingers and drawing Victoria closer.

"I don't know much about justice, but I know a little about happiness." Victoria didn't move. "My solution is temporary but effective." She murmured, careful to keep her gift out of her voice as she gazed down at Victoria. "I'll leave the...emotional work to Anne and our mother." She watched her with black eyes. "Let me make you feel good."

Victoria watched her warily, but lust swam in pools of black and she didn't stop the hand that crept to her pants. "What's in it for you?"

Heidi hummed, "You're beautiful and fun to be around, even when you're angry. And, well, I expect you to return the favor. I'm not doing this purely out of the kindness of my own heart." She smiled when the grip on her hand tightened. "We could both use distractions."

Victoria stared at her. "What are you running from?"

She froze, surprised the newborn even considered the question. "Same as you." Heidi slipped her hand into her pants. "The past."

Victoria growled, grabbing her arm but not pushing her away.

"Victoria," Heidi purred, leaning her face closer to hers. "This game of cat and mouse has gotten pretty old. Runaway with me."

The newborn released her hand and grabbed her shirt, pulling Heidi in for a searing kiss that left her purring.

This is what they both needed. An escape from the past. An escape from reality.

"Distractions can be good. They help relieve the mind. But indulging in them too much...that's where the danger lies. You risk losing your sense of self. You risk becoming lost. Do you understand me, Heidi?"

"What if I want to get lost? What if I never want to be found?"

"If you think you can hide from reality, then you are a fool."

"Then let me be a fool, Hilda."

Watery blue eyes stared at her. "You can't hide from death, Heidi."

"I said, let me be a fool." Heidi snapped, coughing violently into her hand and slumping against her bed. It took her a few ragged breaths in order to be able to speak again. "At least I'll be a happy one until reality finds me."

Hilda took her hand, not bothering to wipe away her tears as she looked at Heidi. "You don't want to say your goodbyes?"

"What good would that serve? Just let me be a fool."

She squeezed her eyes shut, clearly uncaring about her illness as she kissed her knuckles. "I don't know what's more heartbreaking. Losing you, or watching you pretend to be a happy fool...denying the inevitable until it's too late."

Heidi stared up at the ceiling, eyes watering but she refused to let the tears fall.

"I don't know either."

She knew that reality would find her, just as it always did, and it would find Victoria.

It would smother them both, ripping them from their fantasies and forcing them to open their eyes.

But until then, they would keep their eyes closed.

Until then, we'll stay lost together.

---

Eleazar had always struggled with his temper.

He had tried to contain it, control it, but sometimes he let it get the better of him.

Thinking about Sasha made him furious. Sometimes he would become so angry he would take it out on his prey.

It's why he stayed away from Katrina, and it's why he didn't go out of his way to converse with Tatyana.

Their biting comments easily got under his skin. Where Carmen was quick to retort, she never lost her temper, not like he did.

But Bela, there was no hostility in her when she spoke with him.

Only sadness.

She was the only sister that was open about her sadness for Sasha, and he admired that. It took strength to be vulnerable, something Tatyana and Katrina didn't seem to realize. Bela didn't seem to realize it either, but she never hid how she felt, and that was another reason he admired her.

"Mind if I sit with you?" He called out to her, not daring to step closer to the cliffside without her permission.

Bela turned to him, eyes dull and shoulders slouched. "Sure."

Eleazar walked over to her, offering her a small smile as he sat down. "Thank you." He looked out at the sunset. "It's a nice view."

She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "It is." In her hand, she tightly gripped blue flowers. "Do you need something?"

He hesitated for a moment before saying, "No. I...just wanted to...I don't know." It had been a long time since he had been at a loss for words. "Can I speak plainly to you?" She nodded and he sighed. "Seeing you sad makes me feel sad."

Bela looked at him, a spark of amusement in gold eyes. "Oh...I'll work on that."

He laughed and shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant I just...I don't know." He shook his head, watching as the sky turned pink. "I know these past few months have been difficult for you and your family. Would you like to talk about it?"

Bela's eyes watered and she looked away from him. "Talk about what?"

"Anything. Nothing. Whatever you want."

She was quiet for a moment, staring down at the blue flowers in her hand. "You know...nothing means more to me than this coven. The bond we share, it's the only thing that keeps me sane." She ran her finger along the petals. "I would kill for it, I would happily die for it." An amused huff slipped past her lips. "You should have seen us, Eleazar. The perfect family." The mirth left just as quickly as it came. "It fell apart...and I couldn't stop it."

He frowned at her. "How could you stop what happened?"

Bela stared dully at the setting sun. "I have power, Eleazar. I have two of them and…" she clenched her jaw. "I couldn't save my mother." Resentment burned in black eyes. "What good is power if you can't protect the ones you love?"

That's when his anger flickered to life. "How can you protect people from themselves? Your mother made her choice." Bela took on a burden that didn't belong to her. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. "You shouldn't feel guilt for what Sasha did. She betrayed you-"

"I know!" She snarled, glaring at him with wet eyes. "I live every day knowing that we weren't enough for her but…" her anger dissipated. "God, Eleazar...I live every day missing her too."

Oh.

"I...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so harsh." Eleazar felt venom burn his eyes. "I...understand."

"You do?"

"Yes." He murmured. "When Carmen and I were human, we belonged to a group of assassins. We were family. We were perfect…" he glanced at her. "Just as Sasha did, our leader became too greedy. Too reckless."

She looked at him with sad eyes. "What happened?"

"The royal guard found us and...Carmen and I are all that's left." Bela looked back down at her flowers, blinking back her tears as she took one and held it out to him. "Oh, thank you." He twirled the stem between his fingers. "What's it for?"

Bela gave him a sad smile. "Forget-me-nots."

"Oh." His voice wavered. "I...I really appreciate this. Thank you." He swallowed thickly, overcome with emotion in a way that made it difficult to speak. "A-Are these for your mother?"

"And for Vasilii." She murmured, watching as the sun fell lower in the sky. "She would come here with these flowers, and tell her son that he wasn't forgotten." A shaky breath escaped her. "Sometimes...I hate her." She confessed. "She was so mean to Tatyana, and she's the reason our family fell apart but…"

Eleazar sighed. "How can you fully hate the person that raised you?"

"Yeah." Her eyes fell to the flowers once again. "I didn't know her son. But...I don't know. I think she would like that someone living is still thinking about him."

"I think she would too."

Bela glanced at him. "I think...she would also want me to go find my sister."

Eleazar pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. "I don't think that's wise."

Irina had struck her. He remembers his anger vividly at that moment. The way that petulant child had harmed Bela, when all she had done was protect her, was aggravating to behold. And Bela had only treated her with kindness and understanding after all the horrible things Irina had said.

Eleazar had supported Katrina's desire to teach Irina a lesson. The ordeal had stirred something within him, a memory that rattled him to his very core.

I could have used a shield then. I could have used Bela.

"No one thinks it's wise. But she's out there and I...I need her here." She murmured.

You were so calm with her, even after she hit you. You still protected her. How?

Eleazar looked down at the flower in his hand. "How are you so...calm?"

This made her look up at him in surprise. "I'm not...at least, not always. And you're far calmer than me."

He hesitated before shaking his head. "I've always had a temper. The only one that has ever been safe from it was Carmen." His brow furrowed. "But you...I've seen you angry. And even then it's never for long, and it's never as...explosive as mine or Katrina's. It's never as harsh as Tatyana's or Carmen's."

Bela was staring at him as though she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I've only seen you argue with my Tatyana and Katrina, but never does your anger seem explosive."

He smiled wryly at her. "I try to channel all of my anger into fighting. But it doesn't always work. Carmen has to pull me aside often, just so I can let it all out when I'm away from prying eyes. And even then I just get so angry so easily. When Irina hit you...I was furious. All you did was protect her and that was how she repaid you. I don't know how you were able to be so kind afterward."

"She was hurting."

"She was cruel."

Bela was quiet for a moment, turning away from him and looking back out at the sky. "When I leave this place, I'm with...others." Her elusive nature wasn't lost on him, but he didn't pry. "One of them is a very wise vampire. He says it's important to think-"

Eleazar laughed at this, unable to keep the scorn out of his voice. "Wise indeed."

She turned to him with a scoff, "He is. Because of him, I try to think past the moment." She shrugged. "It helps that I am meek by nature. I never wanted trouble. I still don't. It takes a lot for me to get angry, even when the anger is justified." A sigh escaped her and she faced Eleazer. "I have a bad habit of bottling it all up. And when it explodes it's hard for me to get it under control again. He taught me that it wasn't healthy."

Eleazar hummed, looking at her thoughtfully as he mulled her words over.

He tried to bottle his emotions up as well, fearing what would happen if he unleashed his anger. He never wanted to take it out on anyone, even though he would find himself vividly daydreaming about inflicting pain on those that agitated him.

Without Carmen, he didn't know what he would do. She could read him like a book, always getting him away when he needed to vent his frustrations. She had tried talking to him, tried convincing him to be more open about his feelings, but he always worried about who would get hurt in the process.

"So, what is healthy?"

Bela smiled at that, it was small and knowing as if she knew many things that he himself did not. "This vampire, he and my mate helped me learn the importance of communication. Just say your feelings whenever you feel them."

He blinked in surprise. "And...what if they're not worth mentioning? What if you sound foolish?"

"That's why I go off by myself so often." She told him. "Then I can think about how I feel, and find out if it's just a fleeting emotion or something I should speak on. It's not a perfect solution, and I don't always take these steps. I react a lot when I shouldn't, but I'm trying...and I think that counts for something."

It's difficult to think when I'm angry. Maybe that's what I need to do. Find a space to relax and think about my anger. I should try to be more open and honest with those I'm upset with. Maybe that will help. Maybe my anger won't be so overwhelming.

Though, he worried about Tatyana and Katrina's reactions. They were the ones he was usually bothered by. And they would no doubt dismiss his feelings. They would mock him, and Eleazar wasn't sure how well he would be able to contain his own anger if that were the case.

But I can at least try. I can make sure Carmen is with me. Or Bela.

"I...suppose I can try this."

Bela nodded, looking down at the flowers for a moment before looking up at Eleazar once again. "You can...if you need to...uh, you can talk to me." She offered, sounding sheepish as she looked away.

His eyes widened for a moment before he smiled. "That's very kind of you. I believe I will take you up on that offer in the near future." A quiet chuckle escaped him. "Then, maybe one day you can tell me why you quarrel so frequently with Carmen."

Eleazar couldn't find it in him to be frustrated with Bela and Carmen's relationship. It was more humorous than anything.

Both would make slick remarks towards the other, bickering over nothing and everything in a way that even amused Tatyana.

Katrina wasn't as amused. She grew annoyed with their arguments and would whisk her mate away if she wasn't able to get them both to calm down.

It was an odd thing to see.

A short-tempered warrior calling for peace.

But the dynamic between Bela and Carmen had only ever been amusing to Eleazer. Because his mate was never hurt by these altercations, and neither was Bela.

They would have their petty squabbles, and the next day Bela would be sitting near Carmen in silence, as though they didn't bicker constantly.

He couldn't be mad at Bela's behavior, not when she reminded him so much of Carmen when they were teenagers.

His mate had fought her mother's love off every chance she got. It was understandable, for a time. Carmen's mother had been absent until she was thirteen, arriving without warning and without explanation.

Gaining Carmen's love had been a battle, one that Eleazar had witnessed through her rantings and tantrums whenever her mother did something kind for her. Those two fought in a way that was far more serious, far more heartbreaking.

Bela, in many ways, reminded him of a little Carmen.

Especially now, as she rolled her eyes and glared sulkily out at the sky.

"She's just...ugh...I don't know. Can we drop it?" She asked grumpily, and for a moment Eleazar was taken to a different time.

He was sitting on the edge of a crumbling bridge, overlooking the Guadalquivir river with a fuming young Carmen at his side.

"¡Es tan ... molesta, Eleazar! ¡Siempre tratando de vincularme como si quisiera tener algo que ver con ella! ¡No necesito una madre y no quiero una!" [She's so...annoying, Eleazar! Always trying to bond as though I want anything to do with her! I don't need a mother and I don't want one!]

"No lo sé ... parece que tiene buenas intenciones." [I don't know...it seems like she means well.] Eleazar had said, earning him a glare from Carmen. "Ella te hizo esa bonita talla de lobo." [She made you that pretty wolf carving.]

Carmen had been holding it tightly in her hands, and when Eleazer mentioned it, her eyes widened and she threw it into the river below.

"Ella hizo basura inútil." [She made useless junk.]

"No crees que estas siendo dura-" [Don't you think you're being harsh-]

"Solo déjalo, Eleazar. Ya terminé de hablar de esa mujer." [Just drop it, Eleazar. I'm done speaking about that woman.]

Eleazar couldn't suppress his chuckle, and Bela shot a glare in his direction. "We can drop it, alborotadora."

"¿Me? ¡Ella es la que apareció y creó este problema!" [Me? She's the one who showed up and created this trouble!]

She frowned at him. "What did you say?"

He laughed. "Spanish. I'll need to teach you Spanish." He eyed her with a grin. "But only if you teach me Slovak."

Bela laughed as well before reaching her hand out to him. "Deal. But don't tell Tatyana and Katrina. They'll be furious with me if you can understand what we're saying."

The sisters would often speak in Slovak when they were around Eleazar and Carmen. It was frustrating, but fascinating to hear their native language.

Eleazar shook her hand. "Deal." The immense power he felt from her was almost enough for him to jerk away. But he didn't, and instead, he gave her hand a tiny squeeze before withdrawing it.

A shield and something else. Something...timeless. Something powerful.

He looked at his flower again. "So, what do we do now?"

Bela stood to her feet and he followed her lead, setting the flowers onto the cliffside and taking a step back.

"Now, we say goodbye. Then we promise to come back." She hesitated before looking up at him. "Then I must go and find Irina. You can tell Tatyana and Katrina that I'll be away for a few days. Tell them I just have to clear my head."

"You've put some thought into this."

She nodded. "It's all I can think about. Irina and…" she looked down at the forget-me-nots. "If my family tries to blame you, tell them you tried to convince me to stay but I didn't listen." Her jaw clenched. "I have to go before her trail is completely gone. I have to bring her home."

Eleazar was certain that this was a bad idea. But he liked Bela. He wanted this to work. He wanted her to be happy.

She trusts me to cover for her.

He didn't dislike Tatyana and Katrina, but they gave him no incentive to be loyal. Any time they did speak to him they came off as dismissive or irritable.

Eleazar understood that they were grieving, though they denied feeling anything but anger towards Sasha. He knew that they were hurting, all of them were, but it didn't make his interactions with Katrina and Tatyana any less frustrating.

"What if they come after you?"

"Tatyana gets to run around doing as she pleases. Hopefully, she'll honor my request." Bela murmured. "And as for Katrina, I told her how important it is for me to have space. Let's hope she honors this as well."

Eleazar hesitated before saying, "I just...I don't know if this is a good idea."

"I'll try to be fast. Only a few days. I just...please, Eleazar. Please." Her voice cracked. "I need my sister." Bela's desperation was surprising, and to Eleazar, it was sad.

Irina should be here, begging for your forgiveness. She doesn't deserve your compassion.

"...alright. But if you're not back within two weeks' time, I'm bringing you home...with or without Irina." He told her.

Hopefully, your gift doesn't take you away on your search for Irina.

He stiffened in surprise when she embraced him, arms wrapping around his torso and her head laying on his chest.

"Thank you!"

He blinked, staring down at her for a moment before gently hugging her back.

"I hope you find her."

When she pulled away she was looking up at him with a smile. There was hope in once dull, lifeless gold eyes.

"I do too."

Maybe with Irina back, things will be better.

Eleazar looked down at the flowers. "So, we say our goodbyes. How do you go about doing that?"

Bela's smile smoothed into a neutral expression as she faced the cliffside. "That's up to you."

The faint scent of Carmen alerted both the vampires, and Eleazar feared that Bela's mood would instantly sour.

But when his mate appeared, Bela said nothing, and her expression only further softened as she looked back down at the flowers.

"I...hope I'm not intruding on something?" If his heart could still beat, he knew it would be racing in his chest at the mere sight of her.

He had known he was in love with her since they were children. Every time he saw Carmen felt like the first time, even after all these years. She was his heart. She was everything.

Eleazar shook his head and held his hand out to her. "Never." She walked over to him and interlaced their fingers with a small smile. "We're..." he hadn't considered if Bela wanted Carmen there for a moment that was so intimate.

To his surprise, the brunette looked at Carmen, gold eyes soft and voice free of hostility. "We're saying goodbye to our loved ones." She hesitated before looking back down at the flowers. "You can...join us."

Carmen rolled her eyes. "Thank you for giving me permission."

Eleazar scowled at her. "Carmen, she's not being rude. Stop it."

But Bela didn't get angry. She didn't even bother looking at her.

"I'm tired." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I just want to say goodbye."

His mate looked surprised for a moment before a sigh escaped her. She looked guilty, she looked like she wanted to apologize but she remained silent. Bela wouldn't have listened to her anyway, not while she was so fixated on the task at hand.

Bela took a step closer to the cliffside.

She continued to stare at the flowers, hands curling into fists as she spoke. "I feel very angry, mother. I feel angry because of how you treated Tatyana. I feel angry because you hurt that baby, and all those people died because of you. I feel angry because you died and left us...even after you promised me you would be here." Bela hissed, glaring up at the sky. "You promised to be the mother I never had and you lied to me. Just like you lied to Tatyana. And now our family has fallen apart, we're all hurting, and Irina is gone. All because of you. And that is why I'm so angry. You are why I'm so angry."

Carmen and Eleazar exchanged a look but remained quiet. Because Bela's feelings spoke to their own. When their family fell apart, they had been the only two left, and coping with the loss had been almost impossible.

Especially when there was someone to blame. Someone who rightfully deserved to be screamed at. Someone who inflicted all this pain only to die in the end.

It was as Tatyana said, they didn't have to live with the consequences of their actions, but everyone else did.

Bela sighed, shoulders drooping and head bowing as she spoke again. "I also feel very sad, mother." She murmured. "I feel sad for the loss of your son. I feel sad for that baby you turned. I feel sad for the way you treated Tatyana." There was a tremor in her voice, and Eleazar felt Carmen's grip on his hand tighten. "Most of all, I feel sad for you. You were so blinded by your grief that...you didn't even see us."

Eleazar released Carmen's hand, stepping forward and taking Bela's in his own. He glanced at his mate, unsure if this was a good idea, but feeling somewhat relieved when she went to Bela's other side. She interlaced their fingers, and Bela's eyes watered as she looked back down at the flowers.

"I hope you can see me now, mother. I hope you, Vasilii, and that immortal child can see me here. And I hope that the three of you know that...I remember you. Each and every one of you. And so long as I remember, I won't let anyone forget." She swallowed thickly. "Goodbye...mother. Despite all of your flaws, I love you."

The only noise was of the waves gently hitting the side of the cliff.

Eleazar wondered if it were possible to experience another person's heartbreak as though it were his own.

Carmen spoke before he did. "Goodbye, boys. You two didn't know peace in this life, but just as we all will, you will know it in death." She gave Bela's hand a gentle squeeze. "And goodbye, Sasha. I could not understand why anyone would ever want children but...after seeing your daughters, despite them driving me crazy, I…I think I have a better understanding."

Bela's smile was small, nearly nonexistent, but both of them were able to make it out before she hid it.

Eleazar didn't know what to say, not when Carmen had said all that needed to be said. Instead, he murmured a quiet "goodbye" and left it at that.

Bela sighed, watching as the wind picked up and swept the flowers away. "How do you want to say goodbye, Eleazar?"

Carmen remained silent as she looked at Eleazar curiously. The three of them still held hands, and it was...nice. But he knew better than to draw attention to it because both Bela and Carmen would pull away in order to save face.

So he remained quiet and pondered how he would say goodbye.

Bela's words had been honest and raw. They had been emotional and touching. And once again, her vulnerability impressed him.

Can I do the same?

Eleazar stared at the flowers as they danced in the wind, slowly drifting towards the sea.

How do you say goodbye to assassins? People that spent much of their lives hiding and erasing any trace of themselves? Not many saw us, not many knew we were there. And when they died...what left was there to remember?

His eyes burned.

Mateo. Lola. Bianca. Bruno. Christopher-

The sun was swallowed by the night sky. The forget-me-nots fell onto the sea's surface and were being carried away by the gentle waves.

"None of us had families. It was too big a risk for people like us."

He had always wanted children, but when King Philip the fifth had sent his commander to flush them out…

Carmen was right. It was good that we never brought a child into this world. It wouldn't have been fair, not to ourselves or to our baby.

Eleazar swallowed thickly, holding Bela's hand a little tighter as he watched the flowers float away.

"None of us had families but...we had each other."

Clouds covered most of the stars, and the moon was obscured completely. But every often, there was a gap, and through it, he could make out a star or two that had once been hidden before it would disappear again.

"None of you have loved ones to remember you by, but you have us. Carmen and I, well, we still mourn. How couldn't we?" The flowers were swept away by the sea, no longer visible, but Eleazar had known they were there. He had seen them. Just as he had seen the stars before they were obscured by the clouds. "All of you are gone, but you live on through our hearts and minds...through our stories and memories." He smiled up at the sky, hoping they could hear him. "Through us, you all continue to live." He turned to his mate, who was watching him with tears in her eyes. "Would you like to say something?"

Carmen blinked her tears away and turned her attention to the night sky. "Goodbye, usted hijos de puta. We love you."

"Goodbye," Bela murmured.

The three of them stood there silently, fingers interlaced and eyes on the horizon. Each of them lost in their own thoughts and memories. Each of them seeking solace in the idea of a life after death.

And when the sun rose, Bela left.

---

"Another one?" Victoria muttered, watching as their maker held the screaming girl's hand. "Mother, is this cave really big enough for five vampires?"

The girl looked to be younger than the rest of them. She appeared to be sixteen at the oldest, with light brown hair and ruddy-colored skin. Her dress was torn and so dirty that the once white color beneath it was unrecognizable to the human eye.

Hilda sighed when the human finally stopped screaming. "She was dying. I offered her this life and she accepted." She gave Victoria a look. "I couldn't leave her."

Victoria wrinkled her nose but said nothing more.

Anne stepped closer to the two. "That's very kind of you, mother." She said before looking at her younger sister. "May I?"

Anne always comforted her. Always saw her for who she was. She didn't let Victoria run from the past, she made her face it head on, she made her open up about her feelings.

Her comfort came in the form of opening up her heart.

She would let Victoria rant about anything and everything. She would let her sob in her arms and scream to the heavens and destroy everything that got in her path. She would let Victoria get all her emotions out before they faced them together.

With a sigh she nodded, holding out her hand and watching Anne closely as she closed her eyes. "I'm...sympathetic. See?"

Her sister pulled away. "Sympathetic and scared." She murmured, staring at her with knowing red eyes.

For all the good her sister had done, there were times Victoria felt suffocated. Smothered.

Sometimes her sister could be too overbearing. Sometimes she didn't understand that she needed space. It was frustrating that Anne fretted over every emotion she had.

I know she cares, but it can be too much.

A soft laugh escaped Heidi as she appeared at Victoria's other side, resting her chin on her shoulder and circling her arms around her waist.

Soft lips pressed against her neck. "Scared? Of a newborn? Worried she'll steal me away?"

Heidi always distracted her from her tumultuous thoughts. Her comfort came in the form of escapism, allowing Victoria to escape from all that plagued her.

Whether it be lingering thoughts of Gregory, or the pain that her inner child felt when Anne disappeared, or the fear that came with loving anyone besides her sister.

Heidi would ask her ridiculous questions, or start ridiculous games in order to distract her. It always worked. And when they grew closer, it was soft kisses and gentle touches that would soothe and distract her from all burdened her.

They weren't mates.

Victoria didn't really know what they were. But she knew that she was happy.

A small smile crept onto her lips as she turned in her arms. "You should be worried about losing me. You can't even catch me."

She slipped out from her arms, darting out of the cave and laughing when she heard Heidi curse and give chase.

No one could keep up with her. No one could catch her, not unless she wanted to be caught. However, her instincts were at their peak when there was real danger present.

Victoria wondered if that was her gift, knowing when to run, and knowing how urgently she needed to escape. She knew when her attacker wanted her dead, every fiber of her being would scream at her to run and to never look back.

Her body could shift and contort in ways that she had never experienced. Hilda was impressed with her abilities, as were Anne and Heidi.

Victoria felt her creeping up on her and shifted in midair, laughing when Heidi whizzed past her. "So close." She taunted.

Heidi loved a challenge, so did Victoria. Maybe that's why they worked so well.

They continued their game of cat and mouse. Both taunting each other and darting around the forest. Victoria has never felt so alive since joining their mother's coven.

Hilda, Anne, and Heidi brought her a type of joy she had never before experienced. A type of joy she didn't know how to describe.

Hardly a day went by when she didn't smile.

Taking pity on Heidi, Victoria stopped abruptly, letting the vampire slam into her and take her to the ground. They rolled around in the leaves, giggling as they let themselves slide across the forest floor.

Heidi ended up on top of her, giving her a pout as she sat back on her hips. "You let me catch you."

"I wanted you to catch me." Victoria corrected, sitting up and gripping her waist. "Kiss me." She demanded, smiling when Heidi compiled without hesitation.

Gentle fingers ran through red curls, and she couldn't help but sigh into the kiss as Heidi deepened it.

"Victoria, Heidi," their mother called out to them. "Mary is awake."

Victoria growled when Heidi pulled away, only to smile when a light kiss was pressed to her nose. "Come along, Tori." She murmured, standing to her feet and holding her hand out to her. "Let's go meet her."

Mary was the shortest in their coven. And unlike most newborns, she didn't wake up in a frenzy for blood. Instead, she shrunk in on herself, staying close to Hilda and keeping her head low. She looked scared.

Intimidated.

Victoria tried not to stare at the young girl. But she couldn't help it.

It was the way she held herself. She was already small, but she looked even smaller as she looked at the vampires around her.

It was the way brown locks matted together in a tangle of twigs and mud.

It was the way black eyes held fear and confusion. As though she were lost.

As though she were broken.

Everything about her was so uncomfortably familiar.

Introductions were made. Then orders were given.

"Victoria, take your new sister hunting," Hilda instructed, making the redhead frown at her.

"New sister?" Anne was her only sister. Heidi was...something else. She wasn't sure what to call her.

Attachments were dangerous. Something she had learned when she lost Anne. Loving anyone but her sister was foreign to her. Unnerving. Dangerous.

Loving Hilda and Heidi is already pushing it.

Her sister was the prime example of this. Anne's love for Victoria had held her sister back. It caused her to suffer more than she would have if she had been alone.

I love my sister for all she's done for me. But I held her back. I will never understand why she stayed.

It would have been much easier for Anne to make a life for herself with Victoria slowing her down. Though her sister vehemently disagreed with her whenever she broached the subject.

Anne had no such qualms with forming attachments. Heidi was her best friend, her 'sister', and she hadn't resisted the motherly love that Hilda had provided, unlike Victoria.

"Yes. Your new sister." Hilda made it clear there was no room to argue. "Please take her hunting."

Victoria clenched her jaw. "Why? She clearly wants to stay with you."

Hilda sighed and shook her head. "My dear..."

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Fine."

Mary was hesitant to leave Hilda's side, despite Anne's comforting words and Hilda's reassuring touches and smiles. Victoria crossed her arms over her chest, waiting impatiently for Mary to make her way over to her.

"Let's go. Keep up." She warned, taking off without waiting for an answer.

She knew this was their mother's idea of a bonding experience.

It aggravated her.

Mary followed her silently, and Victoria grew more annoyed by the second.

"Nothing to say?"

No response.

"Good."

They came across six riders, and Mary attacked them with the intensity of a newborn.

However, Victoria noticed that she was extremely careful around the horses, making sure to never harm them as she attacked their riders.

Her restraint impressed her.

Mary sat on the forest floor, licking the blood from her fingers and staring in the direction of where the horses fled.

She had made a mess. But now her eyes were a bright red and she looked less timid than before. She didn't seem at all perturbed of having just killed six men.

Victoria stared at her silently.

She's a child. What even happened to her that left her on the brink of death?

Even though Mary looked more at ease, she was still alert, still jittery. Her eyes darted around and her nostrils flared to take in the scents. Her shoulders were hunched and she kept one hand curled into a fist as she looked around the forest clearing.

She's afraid.

Victoria gnawed on her lip for a moment before stepping so she was closer to the girl. She made sure to watch the girl's back, listening intently for any sort of danger, and crouching ever so slightly in anticipation.

She knew there was nothing threatening around them. She would have felt it. But her protectiveness made Mary relax ever so slightly.

The girl looked up at her, wiping the blood from her cheeks with the back of her hand. "You seemed angry with me earlier." Her voice was quiet and unsure. She was surprised that's what the girl first decided to bring up.

Anne told her that she didn't have to always be nice. But it was important for her to be honest.

The redhead grimaced and looked away. "I…wasn't angry with you. I just don't like new things."

They bring uncertainty.

Mary stood to her feet, folding her hands together and looking down at her torn-up shoes. "New things are scary."

They are.

"I thought you were scary."

Victoria narrowed her eyes. "I am."

Mary glanced at her. "Anne said that you were nice."

They talked? What did Anne tell her?

This gave her pause. "My sister has always had too much faith in me."

The girl shrugged, averting her gaze and scratching at the blood that stained her dress. "Well…you seem nice."

A mirthless laugh escaped her. "Do I?"

She nodded. "I knew a girl like you. She acted mean but she wasn't. Not really."

"If someone shows you that they're mean, then you'd do well to believe them."

The newborn found the courage to look her in the eye again. "She did what you're doing now." Victoria frowned at her. "She looked mean, her voice was mean, but her actions were nice." She gestured to where she had been sitting. "You knew I was scared. You didn't say anything, but you watched over me to make me feel safer." She looked away from her again, fingers jumping to toy with matted locks. "That was nice of you. Thank you."

For the first time in a long time, Victoria was rendered speechless.

Mary didn't seem to mind. "I should wash myself. Would you...would you mind coming with me, please?" She asked quietly, eyes watering as she spoke. "You don't have to say anything I just...I don't want to go alone."

Are you scared? Are you lonely?

Victoria felt her own eyes water, and she looked away, blinking rapidly to dry them. She didn't know if Mary had noticed her tears, but if she did, she didn't utter a word.

They made their way to the river, and Victoria couldn't help but ask, "The horses. You didn't hurt them. Most newborns wouldn't have noticed them. But you did." She stared at her curiously. "Why?"

Mary looked up at her. She had discarded her dress and was standing waist-deep in the river, scrubbing the dirt and blood from her skin.

She lifted her hand to her hair. "Will you help me get through these tangles, please?"

Anne and Victoria had always combed through each other's hair when they were human. Even now they helped each other work through any tangles that were present.

It was intimate.

I hardly know you.

"You can't do it yourself?" The redhead groused, annoyed that her question had been ignored and that she had been asked to do something so mundane instead.

I was able to do that just fine when I was by myself.

Though, not as well as when Anne did it.

Victoria always missed spots, and in the end, her hair was a frizzy mess.

Her frustration would get the better of her when she tried to untangle her hair. She was reminded that Anne was gone. Gregory had sent her sister to her death without remorse. She was alone.

Her frustration would get the better of her, leaving her with an aching scalp and watery eyes.

Surely you can do this by yourself.

Mary's bottom lip trembled and her eyes watered. "Uh...no. I can't..." she croaked out, swallowing thickly before she continued. "I can't reach that far and I can't see and...sorry." She murmured, bowing her head and focusing on scrubbing her arms once again.

Victoria blinked, feeling a deep stirring that resonated in her chest. She didn't know what the feeling was, but it unsettled her.

Without saying a word as she wet the girl's hair and gently began combing through the tangles with her fingers.

Mary let out a soft sigh in relief, uttering a quiet, "Thank you," before she was silent once again.

You're welcome.

Every so often Mary's shoulders would shake, but the girl didn't dare make a sound.

I wouldn't be angry if you cried. Victoria wanted to tell her.

But she opted to stay silent as she went from detangling her hair to gently massaging her scalp.

How long has it been since someone has taken care of you?

Mary was nearly limp in her arms, purring softly as Victoria caressed her scalp and ran her fingers through her now detangled hair.

She found that she somewhat liked taking care of Mary. She had never taken care of anyone before, instead, she had spent most of her life being cared for.

Being able to provide Mary comfort was…

Is this what it feels like to be an older sister? Is this how Anne feels when she takes care of me?

Mary's soft voice garnered her attention. "I used to live on an estate. I was one of the working girls. Some of us were kept in the cellar. I was one of the lucky ones and was able to sleep in the stables." She slumped into Victoria, completely at ease despite her vulnerable state.

Victoria fought the urge to move away from her.

It was more intimacy, more than she could handle, but she bit her tongue and didn't move as Mary laid her head back on her shoulder.

Victoria would often sit on Anne's lap this way, and with this in mind, she was able to relax ever so slightly.

She didn't know what to do with her hands, so she let them rest limply at her sides. Mary didn't have her dress on. Even if she did, the older vampire was not at all comfortable holding her in such a way.

"Men would treat me so roughly. And women would act as though I were disease-ridden." Mary said, staring up at the blue sky above. "But the horses...they were always so gentle. They didn't care about where I'd been or what I had to do. They always treated me kindly, even when people wouldn't."

Victoria didn't know what to say. She wished Anne were here, she always knew how to comfort others.

"That's...nice."

She had never spent much time with animals. She had never had the chance to.

She could hear the smile in Hilda's voice. "It was. Their noses feel like silk, and brushing their manes always relaxes me."

"I've never brushed a horse before."

"Oh, it's lovely. We'll have to do that someday." Mary said enthusiastically, standing up straight and whirling around to face her. "It's so soothing, and when you do a good job, they'll rest their head against yours and…" she trailed off, looking sheepish. "I'm sorry. I'm talking too much."

Victoria, against her better judgment, said, "It's fine." But it wasn't. Not really.

The excitement and joy that sparked in red eyes, and the large smile that adorned her lips, made Victoria feel something strange.

Endeared.

It was annoying. Mary was annoying.

She had had a hard life, just as Victoria had, and yet she retained some of her childish joy and innocence. It was strange. And maybe a part of her was envious that she hadn't been able to do the same.

Victoria thinks that Anne would have preferred her that way. Grown-up, but still retaining some of the childish characteristics that she had helped nurture when they were kids.

Mary had that.

Granted, she was two years younger than them, but her life had been difficult as well. So had Anne's. But Anne and Mary had a softness to them that Victoria didn't.

Maybe that's why Victoria was a little envious of the girl. Because Mary could bond with her sister in a way that Victoria never could.

Stop this. Mary won't replace you. Don't be stupid.

And yet, she was glad that she had accompanied Mary instead of Anne.

The vampires got out of the river, and the redhead took the girl's dress. She scrubbed as much dirt and grime off as she could before assisting her in putting her dress back on.

Mary's newborn strength would have torn the fabric to pieces. Where she had been especially careful in regards to her hair, she did not have the gentleness for anything else.

Except for horses. She was so careful with the horses.

The girl thanked her quietly before saying, "When Hilda found me there was a horse laying over me." Pain colored her voice. "Buell. This beautiful, pale gold horse. He was always my favorite."

Was.

Victoria didn't want to ask, but she did anyway. "Why was he…"

Mary swallowed thickly, lowering her gaze. "I...I upset Gregory." The name struck Victoria harder than that man ever could.

Is it the same one?

"I don't know what I did, but he came into the stables, furious with me. He began beating me, it upset the horses. Buell had managed to get out of his stall. He chased Gregory away. He protected me as I bled out."

Rage threatened to devour her. And had Mary not been in such a vulnerable state, Victoria would have taken it out on the forestry around them.

I'll kill him.

The girl cleared her throat, voice trembling and hands curled into her fists as she continued. "Gregory didn't like that. That's how, uh," she paused, taking a deep breath to calm herself. The anguish in her voice made Victoria's rage melt away. "That's how Hilda found us...and even then he tried to cover me as best he could and…" her voice broke and sobs wracked her body.

Mary bowed her head, squeezing her eyes shut as she cried. Her hands were still balled tightly into fists, and her shoulders shook almost violently from how hard she was crying.

Victoria felt her own eyes begin to burn, and without thinking, she reached out and took her hand. It was smaller than Anne's. Still smooth and soft, but it lacked the firmness that her older sister had.

The girl looked up at her in surprise. Red eyes wet and bottom lip quivering as she slowly uncurled her fist.

Victoria interlaced their fingers, staring at their hands as she tried to compose herself.

"Hand-holding is very special," Anne had told her. "It means we're connected. And as long as we're connected, nothing can hurt us."

"I'm not fond of hugs." She said, voice barely above a whisper. "But holding hands is...special to me." Victoria finally gathered the courage to look Mary in the eye. "I don't know what to say. I don't know how to make things better so...would it be alright if I just held your hand?"

Would it make you feel better to know that you are not alone? My words won't bring you comfort, but I hope my presence will.

A whimper escaped Mary's lips, and she squeezed her eyes shut before nodding vigorously. "Yes...thank you. Thank you so much."

They stood like that for hours. Mary released her anguish and Victoria absorbed it.

Her hatred for Gregory had increased tenfold, but at the moment, revenge was the last thing on her mind.

Sorrow.

That's what her sister felt for all those she had to kill.

Sorrow.

What Victoria had once only felt for Anne.

Sorrow.

What Victoria now felt for Mary.

---

When she wakes up she doesn't feel the burning in her throat, like her mother said she would.

She doesn't feel angry or lustful or scared.

The only feeling the newborn could register was her happiness.

"Matka!"

She hardly notices the changes at first.

The eyesight, the hearing, the speed, the strength.

Aside from the strong bond between herself and Sasha, it was only joy that she could truly feel.

"Viem, že je to iné," [I know this feels different,] her mother is looking at her warily, but she can see the happiness that glowed in her red eyes. "Musím ťa požiadať, aby si sa pokúsila zostať pokojná, Tatyana. Existuje veľa vecí, na ktoré sa budete musieť prispôsobiť-" [I must ask you to try and stay calm, Tatyana. There are many things you'll have to adjust to-]

All she could focus on was the fact that she was finally free.

No longer was she in that stuffy keep with her repulsive husband. No longer would she have to listen to the cruel remarks of her birth mother, whom she detested with every fiber of her being.

No.

She was free.

Free to do whatever she pleased.

Tatyana laughed, loud and clear as she barreled into her mother. She had meant to give her a hug, but the force of the impact had sent them through the cave wall.

"Sakra! Tatyana!" Sasha laughed, lifting her head to look at her grinning daughter. "Povedal som, aby som zostal pokojný!" [I said to stay calm!]

Tatyana rested her chin on her chest, tears of joy welling in her eyes as she tightened her embrace. "Ako môžem zostať pokojný? Konečne sme rodina." [How can I stay calm? We're finally a family.] She choked out, watching as Sasha's eyes softened and filled with tears of their own.

It was what she had dreamed about as a little girl.

The moment she met Sasha, once she had gotten over her initial fear, all she had wanted was to go home with her.

The vampire was her escape. She was her mother, and Tatyana had never loved anyone as fiercely as she loved Sasha.

"Vždy sme boli rodina." [We've always been a family.] Sasha sat up, pulling Tatyana into her lap and hugging her to her chest. "Ale viem, čo tým myslíš. Teraz si konečne upír. Môj milý, malý novorodenec." [But I know what you mean. Now you're finally a vampire. My cute, little newborn.] She cooed, making Tatyana giggle and swat her pinching fingers away from her cheeks.

"Už nie som malý!" [I'm not little anymore!] She protested, feigning annoyance as Sasha managed to snag a cheek between her fingers.

Her mother smiled, giving her cheek a little shake. "Máš pravdu. A tvoje tváre už nie sú ani zďaleka také-" [You're right. And your cheeks aren't nearly as pudgy anymore-]

"Matka!"

"Ale stále si moje sladké dieťa." [But, you are still my sweet baby.] Sasha removed her fingers and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Aj keď sa dožijete tisíc rokov, vždy budete moje sladké dieťa. Nie je to tak, Tatyana?" [Even when you live to be a thousand years old, you will always be my sweet baby. Isn't that right, Tatyana?]

The quiet coo of the infant roused her from her thoughts.

"I don't know what you're saying, but you sound ridiculous," Tatyana muttered, peering down curiously as pudgy fingers reached for her. "So, your kind is what that woman left me for?" She grumbled. "Infants...your heads are too big, so are your eyes, but your body, nose, and mouth are too small." Begrudgingly, she placed her finger inside the crib. "Quite honestly, your kind are hideous." A firm, tiny hand grabbed her finger. "Whereas my sisters and I are beautiful. We're proportional."

"Uhhh buh buhhhhhhhhhh." The baby said.

Tatyana rolled her eyes. "That's another thing. We don't speak nonsense. We don't shit on ourselves. And we don't cry because no one can understand the nonsense we speak when we need to be changed because we shit on ourselves."

Large, brown eyes stared up at her, and the baby girl giggled as she tried to pull Tatyana closer. Her black curls got in her eyes and she shook her head, much like a dog, so that she could see once again.

She made more strange noises. "Shhh shhhh shhh ahh ahh ahhh!"

The vampire raised a bemused brow. "And you don't understand anything. I told you I fucked and drained a woman before coming here, and all you did was stare at me."

"Shhhh aaaaah!"

"Exactly. More nonsense." She narrowed her eyes. "I would kill your parents too if I wouldn't be left to deal with your incessant crying."

"Bwa bwa!"

"...what am I doing?"

This was her second time visiting this baby.

The first time had been out of curiosity. She wanted to see what that woman had seen before she had made an immortal child.

But now...she wasn't quite sure why she had come back.

The baby then pointed at her. "Ma."

"Like hell!" She hissed, gently removing the baby's grip from her finger. "We look nothing alike. To even suggest such a thing is an insult."

"Ma!"

"Wrong!"

"Ma!"

"Quiet!"

"Ma!"

"Ugh!" Tatyana groaned, shaking her head as she stepped away from the crib. "Wretched things, all of you." This earned her a giggle, and she couldn't stop the small smile that appeared on her lips. "You think that's funny?" She peered back inside, huffing out a quiet laugh at the sight of the baby's large smile. "Well, I wasn't trying to be funny. I meant it."

The baby cooed before her eyelids became heavy. With a quiet yawn, she stretched and closed her eyes, falling quickly back to sleep.

Tatyana rolled her eyes. "Unbelievable."

...

"Bela left?" Tatyana stared at Carmen and Eleazar with pursed lips and a raised brow.

Katrina was pacing back and forth, movements frantic and choppy as she looked at her. "It's because I pushed her too hard. I kept insisting we train and-"

Eleazar shook his head. "Bela only left to go clear her head. She'll be back in a few days."

Carmen put a hand on Katrina's shoulder, getting her to stop pacing and look at her. "Why don't we go train? Take your mind off things?"

It was odd that Katrina and Carmen bonded at all. But in the context of their human lives, it made sense that fighting was what brought them together.

Bela got along with Eleazar. Tatyana didn't know why. Perhaps because he seemed gentle and soft-spoken.

However, Tatyana didn't trust either of them.

And based on the way her sister had been constantly, annoyingly, badgering her to go find Irina; Tatyana didn't trust Bela right now either.

"Did Bela need to clear her head, or did she need to search for Irina?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "I just find it odd that she left without telling myself, or her mate."

This gave Katriana, and she moved so she was at Tatyana's side. The warrior was now eyeing the two strangers warily before she spared a glance at Tatyana.

"What if they hurt her?"

Eleazar frowned. "We would never."

While this was a possibility, Tatyana decided that it was a slim one at best. "They wouldn't hurt her. Aro would throw a fit if anything happened to his shield. And that would be after we got our hands on them."

Carmen scoffed at that and put a hand on her hip. "How difficult is it to believe that Bela simply needed some space?"

"Just how stupid do you think I am?" Tatyana rolled her eyes. "She's been obsessing about Irina since she disappeared. I'm sure if we were to look for Bela, she would be nowhere near our territory, much less in the same country."

Katrina, to her surprise, seemed relieved by this possibility.

It means she wasn't the problem. So, of course, she would prefer this reason.

Eleazar wore a knowing smile. "Well, I suppose to find that out you'd have to disregard her wishes and invade her privacy." You little shit. "Listen, Aro won't send for us, not for a few months-"

"He told you this?"

He sighed. "I leave the letters on the table-"

I hardly enter that house anymore. And neither does Katrina.

"Notify me when the letters come in." She said. "I am the leader of this coven, I should be the first one to read them."

The man nodded. "As you wish. But as I was saying, Bela will be home soon. I believe she said she'll be gone..." he pretended to think, tapping his chin and furrowing his brow. "For two weeks at the most."

Tatyana could kill her. "Unbelievable." She growled. "I let her mope around all day and all night, and all I ever ask of her is that she leaves Irina be. But, of course, she doesn't listen!"

"Cut it out, Tatyana," Katrina muttered. "Bela is safe, that's all that matters. And if bringing Irina home is what makes her happy then, let her." She paused before saying. "I will still electrocute our sister very painfully for what she did, and I am in no rush to have her back...but it will give Bela some peace of mind. And I'm okay with that."

Tatyana wanted to lash out at her, but she didn't.

"I'm going to go read the letters." She brushed past the warrior.

Carmen called out to her. "There aren't many. Only two."

"Thanks."

...

Katrina had followed Tatyana to their home, and neither had uttered a word.

When they arrived home, the very sight of the door made Tatyana freeze.

"Bola to Irina," [It was Irina,] Tatyana had been so quick to rat the newborn out to their mother.

Because it had been hilarious, and so was Irina's initial panic.

Katrina's heckling rang in her ears. "Viete, ako opraviť dvere?" [Do you know how to fix a door?]

Irina's indignant huff was fresh in her mind. "Bol som farmár. Tieto ruky poznali calluses a tvrdú prácu." [I was a farmhand. These hands knew calluses and hard labor.]

Tatyana moved closer, placing her hand on crooked nails. In her first attempt to fix the door, that had only been ripped from its hinges, Irina had accidentally ripped it in half.

The crudely hammered nails that ran down the length of the door were all that held it together.

"Neviem, ako opraviť dvere." [I don't know how to fix a door.] Irina had confessed. "Ale to neznamená, že nemôžem." [But that doesn't mean I can't.]

And of course, Bela and her absurd relationship with Irina had led her to aid in the, evidently, difficult task of fixing a door.

"Viem, že to dokážeš, Rina. Chcete, aby som vám pomohol?" [I know you can do it, Rina. Would you like me to help?]

To this day Tatyana didn't know if Bela had helped or harmed when it came to fixing it.

The wood was filled with holes from misplaced nails or Irina's poorly controlled strength. The wood was only smooth in some places but rough and splintery in many others. Of course, the nails were an eyesore with the way they jutted out on both sides of the door.

Some poor, idiotic bird had flown into their door once. A mistake he wouldn't live to make again.

Irina had cried over it for a whole twenty minutes before Tatyana helped her bury it.

Then Katrina had unburied it and claimed it needed a warrior's funeral.

The four of them made a tiny pyre for the bird, and Katrina had lit it on fire, nearly burning their house down in the process.

"Katrina, čo sa to s tebou deje!" [Katrina, what the hell is wrong with you!] Tatyana had snapped.

"Prečo na mňa kričíš! Nikto ma nevaroval, že hranica je tak blízko domu!" [Why are you yelling at me! No one warned me that the pyre was this close to the house!]

But the house hadn't burned down, and they were able to shift the pyre so it was no longer so close.

Bela gave the bird a eulogy.

"Dnes bolo Feather vytlačené z tohto hniezda, ktoré nazývame život. A hoci Feather už nemôže stúpať vlastnými krídlami, nachádzame pokoj s vedomím, že teraz stúpa anjelskými krídlami. Nech odpočíva v pokoji a šťastne máva na nebi." [Today, Feather was pushed out of this nest we call life. And though Feather can no longer soar with his own wings, we find peace knowing that he now soars with angel wings. May he rest in peace, flapping happily in the skies of Heaven.]

Her uplifting words had made Irina start sobbing all over again.

And Sasha had come home looking so hopelessly annoyed and endeared.

"Kto zomrel?" [Who died?]

Tatyana hadn't been able to refrain from rolling her eyes. "Feather."

"Ah, prepáč, že meškám. Len som musel..." [Ah, sorry I'm late. I just had to...] she had disappeared for a few seconds before coming back with a fistful of dandelions. "Vyzdvihnúť kvety." [Pick up flowers.]

Ridiculous.

Such a hideous door, one that was unpleasant to look at as well a threat to idiotic birds everywhere.

And yet, she remembers Sasha's smile at the sight of it.

"Je to perfektné." [It's perfect.]

I'm not sure it's perfect, but it certainly caused a lot of laughs over the years.

It reminded her of that infant. Useless, unpleasant to look at, but fun to laugh at.

And the memories...

She almost felt ridiculous.

How can a stupid infant evoke so much emotion?

She ran her hand along the splintery wood.

How can a stupid door make me feel anything but indifference?

"What's got you smiling?" Katrina asked, standing next to her and staring at the door. "Memories?"

Tatyana bristled, pushing the door open and stepping inside. "Nothing."

Just as Eleazar said, the letters were on the table.

"Tatyana-"

"Whatever it is make it quick." She sat down at the table and opened one of the letters. "I need to read these and then come up with a lecture for your mate when she comes home-"

"I'm sorry."

Tatyana looked up at her, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. "Um...what?"

The warrior bowed her head in shame. "I'm sorry I didn't defend you when our mother-"

Does no one listen to my orders?

Tatyana stood up abruptly. "Do not mention that woman to me! She wasn't our mother!"

Her sister bared her teeth at her. "Yes, she was, Tatyana! You can't keep pretending otherwise!"

You're wrong. I can keep pretending.

"Leave me so I can read these letters. I don't have time for one of your tantrums right now."

How do you think I made it this far without falling apart?

She couldn't afford to be Bela or Katrina, letting her emotions rule her and prevent her from doing her job properly.

She was Tatyana, she was the leader of this coven, and she would be damned if she succumbed to the grief that was eating her alive.

There is no grief. There's nothing.

Katrina snarled at her before she stomped out of the house. "You're delusional! Don't come crying to me when you finally wake up!"

Tatyana watched her go before she turned back to the letters.

She didn't let herself think about Katrina's apology, or about how easily she blew up on her.

She didn't let herself think about how painful it was to be in this house again.

She didn't let herself think about how truly worried she was for both Bela and Irina.

She didn't let herself think about the door, or the infant, or Sasha.

Tatyana opened one of the letters and she sat there, eyes skimming over the words.

But she didn't read a damn thing.

---

The scent of a new vampire washed over her, making her bristle slightly. They smelled like the sea, and they came alone.

No danger. Safe.

Victoria stood up from her resting spot in the poppy fields. She watched with narrowed eyes as a brunette appeared in the clearing, coming to an abrupt halt when she spotted the redhead.

Oh.

The newcomer was beautiful with dark brown hair and bright gold eyes. She was a little taller than Victoria. She had a heart-shaped face and, unlike the sharp and angelic features of Heidi, this vampire's features were soft and delicate.

She had a lot of scars. One from a shifter on her bicep, and above that was a vampire bite. There was one on her wrist, and two on her neck. It bolstered her intimidation, had she not been looking at Victoria in fear.

She fights to survive. Not for the sake of fighting.

Victoria lowered her guard, watching as dread and confusion swam in gold eyes.

Careful. She's a survivor. She can still be very dangerous.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" Was the first question that came to mind, rather than 'why are you here?'

The vampire blinked, shifting uncomfortably under Victoria's intense gaze. "My...diet is different." Her voice was soft, quiet. She had an accent Victoria had never heard before. "I drink from animals."

She wrinkled her nose. "Why would you do that?" She couldn't help but venture closer to her, still deeming her safe. But the newcomer stepped back, much to her confusion. "I'm not going to hurt you." She moved forward again, her curiosity getting the better of her.

If she was going to hurt me, I would have sensed it.

Victoria jumped in surprise when she bumped into an invisible wall, and she looked at the vampire with wide eyes.

"Did you…" she reached her hand out, sliding it down the invisible wall. "What is this?" The brunette just watched her warily, not saying a word. "Well?" She was growing impatient, and she gave the wall a sharp knock.

She jumped, having seemed lost for a moment before she collected herself. "A shield."

What else are vampires capable of? This is...amazing.

She felt more at ease knowing that the vampire's power was defensive, just as her own was.

Victoria hummed, leaning her head against the shield and giving the brunette a smirk. "Do I scare you?" Her smirk faltered when the brunette looked away from her.

She liked that she intimidated the vampire, and at the same time that isn't what she wanted. This vampire didn't seem to mean any harm, and there was no satisfaction in scaring her.

"Well, you shouldn't be in our territory anyway. Why are you here?"

"I...I was looking for someone and lost their scent at the ocean. So I swam until I got here. I picked it up at the beach and…" she stopped talking, keeping her gaze lowered as she spoke.

"Who are you looking for?" She was quiet, untrusting, and no one understood that better than Victoria. "Well, they're not around my territory. I haven't smelled any new scents in the area. You're wasting your time."

The shield fell abruptly, making Victoria stumble closer to the brunette. They both stared at each other with wide eyes, and the newcomer was the first to step away.

"Thank you. I'll...look somewhere else." Victoria watched her leave, unsettled by her overwhelming curiosity of the brunette.

…

The next time she saw the vampire was when she had ventured away from her coven.

Victoria had been struggling with her feelings of resentment towards Gregory. The only reason she hadn't killed him was because of Anne. She didn't want to disappoint her sister

The distractions Heidi provided were fun, they were nice, but they weren't enough.

Brushing horses with Mary wasn't enough.

Hilda's gentle words and assurances weren't enough.

Having Anne with her should have been enough, but her longing to make Gregory suffer was beginning to get the better of her.

She needed space. She needed to clear her head.

I need a new distraction.

And she found it in the strange vampire from a few days ago.

The stench of decay mixed unpleasantly with the vampire's scent, and she couldn't help but follow it.

The brunette was standing outside of a cabin, brow furrowed as she stared at the closed door. Her eyes were dark, and she didn't seem to notice Victoria until she popped up next to her.

"Did you kill that man inside?"

She was certain she didn't. This vampire ate animals, and this human had been dead a long time. But she couldn't help but ask anyway. Eager to have her favorite distraction back.

To her credit, the brunette didn't jump away from her. "No." She muttered, looking uneasy but not moving away.

Victoria looked at her closely. "But the vampire you're looking for, they killed that man."

"Yes." She held up a few strands of long, silvery blonde hair. "She was definitely here." She tossed the hair aside with a grimace. "But her scent...I'm worried I might be too late." She muttered.

Victoria was intrigued, despite the vampire's wary glances and jittery fingers. Her thumb tapped rapidly against the side of her index finger, and she hunched her shoulders slightly as if bracing herself.

This vampire was a change of pace. Something exciting and new that Victoria could give her attention to. A nice reprieve from the mundane life that she had been living in Hilda's coven.

And yet...

"What is it about me that scares you? Is it my hair?"

The vampire looked at her in confusion. "Why would your hair scare me?"

"It scares lots of people."

They think I'm soulless. They think I'm godless.

And maybe they were right.

Gold eyes looked at her curiously. "It looks like fire. It's not scary...it's pretty." Victoria's eyes widened at the complement and the brunette quickly turned away from her. Once again she focused on the cabin. "She was here. Where did she go after?" She muttered, talking to herself and pausing, as though listening to something. "Not helpful." She sighed, and Victoria frowned at her.

"Who are you talking to?"

Sometimes Heidi would speak aloud as well.

"No one."

Victoria stared at her for a moment. "What's your name?" When she didn't respond she sighed in exasperation. "I'm Victoria."

But she liked that this new vampire wasn't forthcoming. It presented a challenge.

Heidi had taught her the value of games, and Victoria found that she loved playing them.

Whether it be a game of skill or a game of intelligence, Victoria liked each challenge that different games presented.

This vampire was a puzzle, one she was desperate to figure out. She was new and interesting and Victoria was in dire need of someone like her.

Since she first met the vampire she was all she could think about.

What was her name? Who was she? Who was she looking for? How does her shield work? What was the other vampire running from?

Victoria didn't tell her coven about this strange vampire. She was possessive like that. The last thing she needed was for Heidi to charm her away or for her sisters to take up her attention.

She eyed her warily, looking as though she'd rather be anywhere else. "...Bela."

Perfect.

"Bela?" She frowned at her. "Odd."

Another challenge that Bela presented her with was Victoria having to suppress her emotions whenever she was around Anne.

If her excitement was too much then her sister would find out, and she would want to meet Bela.

And Victoria couldn't have that.

"I suppose." Bela looked around the area again before grimacing. "Maybe...coming here was a mistake."

You can't leave. I haven't put all your pieces together yet.

"If you tell me who you're looking for, maybe I can help you."

"Why would you do that?"

"I've been...bored." She hummed, watching as Bela's index finger tapped rapidly against the side of her thumb. She felt a jolt, one that nearly made her run away, but it quickly subsided. "You were thinking of attacking me. Why?" Victoria shifted so she was out of Bela's grabbing range. "What stopped you?"

Bela clenched her jaw before looking away from her. "It could mess everything up. I can't risk it. I don't know the consequences."

More questions, no answers.

"What are you talking about?"

"And…" she sighed, and the stress seeped from her body. "You're only trying to be helpful. Thank you."

It was an urge. Instinct? Something that arose out of fear? Anger? But she didn't attack. She controlled her impulses. She didn't want to hurt me for the sake of hurting me.

Victoria stared at her for a moment before shaking her head. "You're strange." She paused before saying, "And, since you thought about killing me, the least you can do is tell me who you're looking for."

No danger. Safe.

Bela seemed hesitant, but finally, she said, "My sister." The mirth left Victoria just as quickly as it came. "She's upset and she ran away from home." Her eyes watered. "I'm just worried and...I miss her."

How many nights did I spend looking for Anne?

The sadness in Bela's eyes was a sadness that had once been in her own.

You don't know her. She's a stranger. She admitted that she thought about attacking you. Stay away.

But she couldn't. Anne had taught her about empathy. Though she still struggled with it, she found that it was an easier emotion to have for Bela than it had been to have for Heidi.

Heidi was a trickster. A seductress. Their first meeting had gone poorly, and perhaps there was always a part of Victoria that would distrust her. She liked Heidi, perhaps a bit too much, but she couldn't afford to surrender all of her cautions.

Bela, on the other hand, was quiet and wanted to be left alone. Her face was too open, too honest. Even when she had been reserved, Victoria had been able to read her like a book.

It reminded her of Mary and Anne and Hilda. People like them, people with open faces and honest eyes, usually they didn't like hurting others.

And if I help her, this vampire with a shield, perhaps I can gain an ally.

"Why did she run away?"

Bela swallowed thickly, as though it were too difficult to speak about. And maybe it was. But she did so anyway.

"We watched someone that we loved die...and she blamed our family. But she's hurting. She needs me." Her voice broke and she released a shuttered breath in order to collect herself. "I need her."

Her devotion reminded her of Anne. It made her lower her guard.

Hesitantly, Victoria reached out to her, placing a hand on her shoulder and drawing her attention. "She might need you, but she doesn't know it yet." Bela looked at her with watery eyes. "If she wants to be alone, then it's best to leave her be."

This seemed to infuriate the vampire, who shook her hand off and bared her teeth. "What the hell would you know!"

Victoria's eyes widened at her change in demeanor, and an angry hiss escaped her. "Because I-" Bela flinched away from her, black eyes reverting back to gold and filled with fear, just as they were the first time they met. "Stop being scared of me! I'm not going to hit you! I'm not!" Her entire body felt as though it were on fire. "I'm not like that! I'm not like him! I'm better than that! I am!"

Bela took a step back. "I never said-"

"I don't hurt people that are undeserving! I don't hurt little girls! I'm nothing like him!"

"I-I know you're not."

Her anger faltered, and she watched as Bela straightened her posture. "Do you?"

There was no way she knew who Victoria was talking about. It was clear that she was only trying to appease her. She was only trying to calm her down, and that was enough to make Victoria force herself to relax.

Because she wasn't Gregory. She didn't use fear and intimidation to get what she wanted from innocent people.

Bela was quiet for a moment, looking unsure of herself before she said. "What kind of people do you hurt?"

Victoria was surprised by her question. "Those that have hurt me and the ones I love. Those that deserve it."

The brunette looked at her for a moment longer. "That's...that's not so bad."

"Maybe you can tell my sister that." She griped, making her eyes widen.

"You have a sister?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"N-No I just...I don't know." She muttered, looking a bit flustered as she ducked her head.

It was cute.

Victoria hummed and looked at the cabin. "I have two. One by blood and the other by choice. Anne is my older sister. I love her more than anyone but…" she sighed and shook her head. "She worries about me too much. It's insulting."

Bela winced. "It's because she cares."

"I know. But still." Victoria growled. "I'm a grown woman! A vampire!" She looked at Bela. "Tell me, if you could kill the ones who killed your loved one, would you?"

Bela's brow furrowed in contemplation, and she met Victoria's steady gaze. "No."

"No?"

"No." She clenched her jaw. "She had no one but herself to blame for what happened. I wish she was alive. I wish she had never done what she did but…" broken gold eyes looked away from her. "She did."

Victoria looked at her closely. "What did she do?"

Bela was silent for a moment, and she thought she wasn't going to answer until she said, "It's not about what she did. It's about what she didn't do." She paused, swallowing thickly and blinking away more tears. "She didn't let go. And we all paid for it."

Victoria looked away from her, uncomfortable with how heavily the words weighed on her heart.

"Letting go...it's hard."

"Yeah," Bela murmured. "Especially when it's something worth holding on to." She sighed and she looked at Victoria. "The person you want to kill...does he deserve to die?"

"Yes." She answered without hesitation.

"...is it because he hurts little girls?" She asked quietly. "Did he hurt you?"

You're supposed to be my distraction. Not my reminder.

Victoria gestured at her. "How'd you get those scars?"

Bela frowned. "You didn't answer my question."

"I don't feel like sharing."

"Well, maybe I don't either."

She scowled at her, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yes and yes." Bela looked confused and she growled under her breath. "To the two questions you asked earlier...yes to both of them."

Her eyes widened. "Oh...I'm sorry."

Victoria's lips curled into a sneer. "Everyone's sorry, aren't they? But not when it really matters. Only after the fact." She looked away from Bela, whose empathetic gold eyes made her bristle. "Your scars."

Bela hesitated, looking down at her arms before pointing to the vampire bite on her wrist. "That's from when I was human. A vampire..." she faltered, sounding unsure of herself. "I had vampire friends, they were waiting to turn me until I became a little older. A random vampire came by and he...you know."

A human with multiple vampire friends?

The redhead reached out, clenching her jaw when Bela flinched away from her.

It was all too familiar.

"I'm sorry-"

"Why are you apologizing?" Victoria demanded. "I should have asked first...I'm sorry I scared you."

Bela looked at her with wide eyes. "Oh, um...you can touch it, sorry I'm just not used to...strangers, I guess."

Were you hurt too?

She held her arm out to Victoria, who thanked her quietly before running her thumb over the scar. "This vampire, he's your maker, then?"

"No. My vampires killed him, and one of them drained the venom so I wouldn't turn."

Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh, I didn't know we could do that." She removed her thumb from her wrist. "Was it scary? Being attacked by that vampire?" She already knew the answer, but maybe the newcomer would surprise her. She was a bit strange.

Bela shrugged, tearing her gaze from her scar and looking at Victoria. "I don't remember it. I lost my memories when I turned...some memories came back but not all of them and...I'm sure it was scary."

And look at that. You did surprise me.

Before Victoria could ask, Bela pointed to one of the bites on her neck. "This one is from my maker." A fond smile appeared on her lips. "My sister. She saved me from another vampire attack, but I had lost too much blood, so she had to turn me."

She hummed, stepping closer to touch the bite on her neck. Like the one on her wrist, it was colder than the rest of her skin.

Bela tensed for a moment, eyeing Victoria warily as she traced the scar on her throat.

Maybe it was because she could see herself in Bela, just as she had seen herself in Mary. It was the only explanation as to why she cared so much that this vampire was somewhat frightened by her.

"I won't hurt you...I promise."

A sad look crossed gold eyes, but Bela relaxed. "Okay."

Victoria smiled slightly, relieved that Bela was more at ease. "You agitated a lot of vampires."

A quiet laugh escaped her. "I did."

"Let me guess, you don't remember what you did to agitate this one?"

"Well, he was hungry." She perked up. "But then my sisters came and killed him."

"How many do you have? Are they your sisters by blood, or choice?"

"I have two." Bela smiled. "I'm an only child...but being with them, I don't know, I can't imagine growing up without them with me. Maybe it's because my memories are gone, but I don't remember much of my life aside from being with them."

Human Bela sounded fascinating.

What could she have possibly done to aggravate so many vampires...and yet, befriend so many of them at the same time?

Victoria caught sight of the other one on her neck and noticed that it overlapped with yet another bite. "There's two here." Her fingers traveled to graze over the scars. They protruded more because of the overlap, but not by much.

"I got into a fight with a vampire. And...the one over it is from my mate." She said somewhat sheepishly.

A mate? Damn. There goes a bit of my fun.

"The bites on your arm?" Her hand fell to the vampire bite that was just above the shifter bite. "Just how many vampires have you been attacked by?"

Bela hummed, brow furrowing in thought. "Well...technically four. But my sister gave me the one on my arm. She was helping me train with my shield, so that doesn't count."

"Four vampire attacks and you remember only one of them?"

The shield became quiet. "I remember two of them. The other vampire...he didn't get a chance to bite me." She looked away from Victoria. "He was my friend. He lost control and tried to kill me...it was scary."

Victoria noticed the way she went rigid, just by talking about him. Her eyes were tight and her jaw clenched. It was as though she were bracing herself for an attack.

Is that why you flinch away? Is he your Gregory?

Unbidden thoughts came to mind. A massive man with his meaty fist raised-

"That...sounds scary." Her eyes fell to the shifter's bite, which was darker than the rest of her pale skin. "What about this one?"

Slowly, Bela relaxed, watching as Victoria's finger traced the teeth imprints. "A shifter tried to attack my sister. This was before we knew about my shield. And I had just been turned so...I threw myself in the way." She ducked her head sheepishly. "She's far older than I am...and she could have handled the wolf easily. But...I was still her shield."

Victoria smiled, removing her hand from her arm. "There's nothing you wouldn't do for your family, is there?"

"No. Nothing." She looked at the cabin. "I'm guessing you're the same? Even though Anne worries about you too much?" The teasing wasn't lost on her, and Victoria followed Bela into the cabin with a roll of her eyes.

"You'd be correct." When they followed the smell, a snort escaped her. "He's naked." Her nose wrinkled. "And your sister's scent is..."

"Gone." She muttered darkly, slamming the side of her fist into the bedpost. "Dammit!" It snapped in half but Bela was already out of the cabin. "I don't have time for this. I have to go home and then I'll have nothing to show for it and Irina will still be gone!"

She started speaking in another language, yelling and ranting and raving as she walked around the cabin.

"Nemôžem nájsť Irina, ale nájdem skurvenú Victoria? Len moje skurvené šťastie! A nedajbože, aby som ju zabil, pretože som tak kurva slabý! Cítil by som sa zle, a kto vie, ako to zmení skurvenú budúcnosť! Mohol by som pestovať parohy, ak ju teraz zabijem! Alebo sa možno zmením na skurveného meniča! Alebo sa možno vydám za prekliateho Emmett-" [I can't find Irina, but I can find fucking Victoria? Just my fucking luck! Oh, and God forbid I kill her because I'm so fucking weak! I would feel bad, and who knows how that will alter the fucking future! I might grow antlers if I kill her now! Or maybe I'll turn into a fucking shifter! Or maybe I'll marry goddamn Emmett-]

"Hey." Victoria appeared in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. "Stop that." She had no clue what this strange vampire was saying, but she had heard her name along with Irina and...

Emme?

Bela had been speaking too quickly for her to follow. And now, she looked at Victoria with wide eyes, as though she had forgotten she was there.

She hesitated, slowly reaching for Bela's hand and taking it in her own. They were soft and warm, and they were firm, similar to Anne's.

"Irina will come back. But you have to realize that she doesn't want to be found." She rolled her eyes. "Anne does that all the time. She badgers me when I want to be by myself. I love her, but sometimes I don't want to be around her. Not when she's suffocating me."

Bela looked at her in disbelief. "Oh...is that what I'm doing?" She looked sad. She looked hurt.

Victoria gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Not yet. But if you're not careful, you might push her away. Let her come home when she's ready, not when you want her to."

The brunette nodded slowly, mulling her words over for a moment before giving her a warm smile. "I can do that...thank you, Victoria." A quiet laugh escaped her. "Never thought I'd say that."

She bared her teeth at her. "What, didn't think I could be helpful?"

"Not really, no." Bela grinned, bright and radiant before a sigh slipped past her lips. "I should be going-"

This alarmed her. "Already?"

She nodded. "I have a time limit, and it's running out." She was about to leave but Victoria held onto her hand.

"Wait, will you ever come back here?"

Bela looked uncertain, brow furrowing as she contemplated her answer. "Things will have to settle with my family before I could come back. But after...I don't see why not."

Part of her was upset because her distraction was leaving. She hadn't put all the pieces together yet, but she knew that Bela couldn't stay.

But maybe she'll come back. Maybe I can put the pieces together then.

Victoria nodded, despite feeling somewhat disappointed. "Alright...I hope your sister comes home soon." She paused before saying, "You're indebted to me now. I can think of many ways that a shield can be useful."

"...okay. I'll see if I can pay off your debt." She mused, though there was a nervousness to her that Victoria picked up on.

So many questions. So few answers.

She leaned in close, pleased Bela didn't flinch away, and planted a kiss on her cheek.

The shield looked at her with wide eyes. "Uh..."

"Don't worry," Victoria laughed, releasing her hand. "Just being friendly."

Not that I can do anything with you because of your mate anyway.

Bela huffed out a laugh as she began walking backward. "That's what we are? Friends?" She sounded as though she couldn't believe Victoria had suggested such a thing.

She rolled her eyes. "I helped you, and in the future, you'll help me. That's exactly what friends do."

Bela paused, looking at Victoria curiously before she nodded. "Yeah, I guess so." She gave her a small wave. "Bye, Victoria...and thank you, again." She smiled before disappearing into the woods, and Victoria watched her go.

"Bye, Bela."

I hope I see you again.

---

"This...this is a bad idea," Victoria muttered, standing at attention as she stared at the changing newborn.

Anne noticed that her sister shifted slightly in front of Mary, and despite the circumstances, it made her happy.

The two had grown surprisingly close, and for a moment Anne had thought that Mary would tame Victoria's lust for revenge in a way that she couldn't.

Until it was revealed that Mary had nearly been killed by Gregory. Reigniting Victoria's fury once again, much to Anne's distress.

Don't focus on that, not now.

Their mother looked at her worriedly. "Are you alright?"

Heidi laughed, slinging an arm around the redhead. "She's paranoid, just as she always is."

But Anne knew better, and so did Victoria. "Victoria has never been wrong before. Why would she be wrong now?" Anne stepped closer to Hilda, sneaking another glance at the screeching girl. "Where did you find her?"

She was small in stature, around Victoria's height, with wiry arms and lanky legs. Her hair was pitch black, contrasting with her pale white skin, and part of her eyebrow was missing due to scarring that looked to be caused by a knife fight.

The large gap between her eyebrow, paired with her chipped front tooth and partially missing lower ear, gave her a feral look. One that no doubt intimidated Victoria and Heidi, both of whom pretend otherwise, but her look only piqued Anne's curiosity.

"I found Noela in Lisbon," Hilda murmured, leaning forward to take the thrashing girl's hand. "She suffered such a tragedy...and I couldn't leave her to die."

Mary asked, "Is she nice?"

Noela stopped screaming.

This made Victoria growl. "Just...stay away from her until we find out-" her eyes widened. "Move!" She shoved Mary aside before grabbing Heidi and throwing them to the side.

Anne hadn't even realized Noela was awake until she saw the crater the newborn had left on the cave floor.

Right where my sisters had been standing.

Noela was hissing and snarling, red eyes darting around wildly as she took in her surroundings. Hilda called out to her, but the newborn didn't seem to hear her.

Her attention turned to Victoria and she roared before lunging forward. Anne darted towards them without thinking, slamming into Noella and taking them both to the ground.

Fear.

Anger.

Where am I? My throat, it hurts.

They slid across the cave wall, and Anne could hear Victoria shriek in rage as Noela pinned her to the ground. Her strength was impressive, even stronger than Anne's had been when she was a newborn.

"Victoria! Don't!" Anne warned, lying still beneath the small vampire.

Heidi grabbed her sister, holding tight as the redhead tried to break away in order to get to her. "Stop that now, your sister knows what she's doing." Heidi soothed, calming Victoria slightly. "We won't let her get hurt."

Fear. Fear. Fear.

Anger. Anger. Anger.

"You don't scare me! Not anymore! You want my money? Come and take it!"

Sparks fly as silver blades collide. Noela is up against more than she could handle. There are too many, but she can't back down again. She can't.

She wasn't a child anymore. She fought for everything she had. And she would be damned if she continued to live in fear.

Every threat should be killed. It's the only way to survive. It's the only way-

"Noela. We're no threat to you." Anne breathed, remaining limp as the newborn fisted her shirt. "We won't hurt you. None of us will, I swear."

Confusion.

She remembers a brown haired girl. A nice girl. They were friends as kids. She confused her too. But she was nice.

Confusion.

But nice people can deceive.

Look me in the eyes and speak the truth, or die by my hand.

"If I'm lying you can kill me, but I'm not deceiving you," Anne swore, staring intensely into dark red eyes. "Hilda is my maker too." She glanced at the vampires around the room. "She made all of us. We're a family."

Family?

She remembers a black haired woman smiling down at her. She remembers being sung to. She remembers holding the woman's hand as they explored the markets.

Family.

Confusion.

Anne looked up at her softly. "You don't need to fight. Not now. You're safe. I promise."

She felt Noela relax.

Confusion.

Relief.

Noela stared at her, blinking rapidly as she slowly reached out and brushed her thumb along her cheek.

Her eyes turned black.

Attraction.

If Anne could still blush she would have.

Lust.

She didn't know what to do, worried that sudden movements would set the newborn off again.

She's beautiful. She understands.

Attraction. Lust. Attraction.

More?

"You can get off her now." Victoria hissed, being restrained by Heidi.

Annoyance.

Noela didn't move. She didn't even look in Victoria's direction.

Hilda moved forward slowly, alerting Noela and making her turn around.

Safe.

Comfort.

Maker.

Mother.

She remembers being held as she was dying. Hilda had spoken to her a few times before, but Noela had always shooed her away, thinking she was too good to be true.

But as she laid in a puddle of her own blood, it was Hilda that was at her side. She was stroking her hair and speaking gently to her. She asked her questions. She asked her if she wanted to live.

Maker.

Safe.

"Noela. It's alright." Hilda murmured, smiling warmly at her when she got off of Anne.

Their connection severed, and Anne slowly stood to her feet, trying to adjust to the emotions she felt. Trying to adjust to the emptiness now that she and Noela were no longer connected.

"Let's go hunting. I'll explain everything to you." Hilda encouraged, reaching out her hand to her. Noela stared at it for a moment before nodding. She took her maker's hand in hers, casting a few more glances at Anne before she and Hilda left the cave.

Heidi released Victoria, who was at Anne's side in an instant. She grabbed her hand, red eyes roving her body worriedly.

"Are you alright?"

Worry.

Rage.

If she ever fucking touches you again I'll kill her, just like I killed everyone else.

"I'm fine," Anne assured her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze as she withdrew from her touch.

Victoria's emotions were difficult to sift through. They were intense, disheartening.

"Are you sure?"

"Noela was only scared. I just had to assure her that we were no threat."

Mary came to her other side, lightly grabbing her arm and looking up at her with wide eyes. "You were so brave! I was terrified."

Admiration.

"It's a bit easier to be brave when you understand someone's intentions." She then smiled at Victoria. "Thank you for saving me." Affection radiated off the two in waves, making Anne pull them both into a fierce hug.

Oftentimes emotions could be overwhelming, but if she went too long without feeling them it sometimes made her feel empty.

A gift she had once hated now provided her with both sanity and madness.

Heidi approached them, smiling when Victoria released Anne and moved to her side. Mary clung to her for a moment longer, beaming at the kiss pressed to her forehead before she pulled away.

"Noela seemed to be very...fond of you," Heidi smirked, making Victoria scowl and shake her head.

"So fond of her she attacked her."

The seductress put her finger beneath Victoria's chin, smirk broadening when Victoria tilted her head accordingly. "It seemed she was trying to attack you. Though, it looked like she wanted to attack Anne in a different way…" Victoria hissed and pulled away from her, making Heidi laugh before throwing her arms around her. "Did I strike a nerve?"

"I hate you."

Mary wrinkled her nose. "She wanted to...ew."

Anne shot a glare at Heidi, grateful she no longer had the ability to blush. "Oh, you stop that!"

"You know how she felt. You're not denying it."

"Mary doesn't need to be hearing this."

Victoria crossed her arms over her chest. "I also don't need to be hearing this."

Heidi, still clinging to her, nuzzled her neck with a laugh. "Oh, but you never see Anne acting so childish when we-"

Victoria squeaked and tried to push Heidi away, whose laugh bounced off the cave walls. "Would you shut up!"

Anne winced. "I am very happy for the both of you, believe me, I am. But I don't need details." Anytime the two had been...intimate, Anne made sure to avoid contact with either of them. The last thing she needed was to accidentally hear any thoughts or see any memories.

She had learned the hard way that it was indeed a possibility. One that greatly disturbed her.

Mary covered her ears, as though it could help muffle their words. "Me neither." Mary had never had much interest in romance.

Heidi kissed Victoria's jaw, who was still fuming, before turning to Anne. "Well, do you like her? She looks like a brute."

"She's been through a lot."

"I can tell."

Anne sighed and rolled her eyes. "I don't know her and...I'm not having this conversation with you." She muttered, unable to suppress her smile when her older sister hid her giggle behind her hand.

"When you finally stop being such a prude, come see me. I'll tell you everything you need to know about-"

"Heidi!"

Mary huffed and turned on her heel. "Yuck. I'm going to go brush the horses. At least they're not disgusting."

Heidi raised a brow. "You're right. Animals that leave mountains of shit behind aren't disgusting at all."

Victoria snorted and swatted Heidi's shoulder. "Be nice." She untangled herself from her arms. "I'll come with you." She offered. "You can...you can show me how to brush them." She sounded embarrassed, refusing to meet anyone's gaze as she fell in step with Mary.

The younger vampire grinned up at her, clapping her hands excitedly. "I knew you'd come around! I'll teach you everything you need to know about them and-"

"Thanks," Victoria grumbled, and Anne could hear the smile in her sister's voice. Mary continued chatting loudly as they exited the cave, leaving Heidi and Anne alone.

Her older sister wrinkled her nose. "Animals are nice and pretty...but I think I'll leave the grooming to those two." She then raised a brow. "So, Noela is kind of cute, in an 'I want you dead' kind of way, right?"

Anne groaned in exasperation, accepting Heidi's warm embrace but not hugging her back in retaliation.

Jovial.

Playful.

I think you and Noela could enjoy each other.

...

Noela, when she wasn't with Hilda, would stay close to Anne. She would never speak to her directly, even when Anne would greet her, but she watched her closely as if trying to figure something out.

Anne wished the newborn would just let her touch her, she was so curious as to what she was feeling, but she didn't want to make Noela uncomfortable.

Victoria didn't like her. Heidi liked using Noela to tease her. Mary wasn't sure what to make of her, and neither was Anne.

"She's odd," Mary said, looking curiously at Noela. "You there, would you like to come over here? Or do you just like staring?" She didn't speak maliciously. Oftentimes Mary spoke as bluntly as a child. Innocent but straight to the point.

Noela said nothing, continuing to watch them from her perch in the trees. She never tried to be sneaky, so her observations didn't make Anne uncomfortable. They only made her more curious.

"How'd you lose part of your ear?"

Anne jolted at that question and looked at Mary with wide eyes. "Mary!"

The girl looked up at her with a furrowed brow. "What? I'm just asking."

"That's rude!"

She glanced at Noela. "Is it? Victoria thinks a dog chewed it off. Heidi says she thinks it was cut off. But I want to know the real reason-"

Anne couldn't even bring herself to look at Noela. "That's not how you ask. That's insensitive."

"...how would I go about sensitively asking how she lost her ear?"

A low growl drew their attention. "I am not sensitive." Noela slipped down from her perch, standing tall as she stalked towards them. "An archer thought he could take my food, he underestimated me, so I took his life."

Mary looked at Noela with wide eyes. "How'd you do it?" Anne was about to scold her when Noela stopped just in front of them, looking at Mary in slight surprise at the question.

"A dagger to the eye." She tilted her head up proudly. "He learned I could throw better than he could shoot."

"You threw the dagger and hit his eye?!" Mary gasped, looking at Noela in awe before turning to Anne. "Isn't that amazing?"

Anne had never been comfortable with violence. But in this case, it had been self-defense, not that she would scold Noela either way. From the few memories she had seen, she knew Noela's life had been filled with violence. It was the only way she had been able to survive.

Noela looked at Anne expectantly, waiting for her answer.

Anne glanced at her before turning to Mary. "Yes, that is amazing." To her surprise, Noela smiled at the praise.

Her smile had a wild look to it. Whereas Victoria's smiles were normally well contained, Heidi's were sultry, and Mary's were warm; Noela's smile was unabashedly wide and tinged with danger.

Her smile promised chaos, yet showed her happiness, and Anne thought it was beautiful.

Even with her chipped tooth, the gap between her eyebrow, and her missing lower ear, Anne thought that she was beautiful.

...

Anne noticed Heidi speaking to Noela. Whatever she was saying she abruptly stopped when she saw Anne. A wink was shot in her direction, but Noela didn't look at her. Instead, she was looking at the ground with a frown. Contemplating something, but what, Anne wasn't sure.

Victoria was sitting a ways away, watching Noela distrustfully, and bristling when the newborn turned towards her.

"You should know how to fight," Noela said.

Her sister bared her teeth at her. "And you should leave me alone."

Anne sighed, walking towards her sisters and relieved to hear the arrival of Hilda and Mary.

"Girls-"

Noela looked at their mother. "Why does this one not know how to fight?" She then turned to Anne. "Do you know how to fight?"

Anne ignored her little sister's angry growl. "I can defend myself. Our mother and Heidi taught me."

Mary smiled. "I can too!"

Heidi winked at her. "You're too adorable to attack." Mary's smile grew while Victoria rolled her eyes, though they all knew that Mary had her wrapped around her finger.

She has all of us wrapped around her finger.

"Victoria has a gift," Hilda explained, "She can sense danger, and her ability to escape is astonishing." Anne noticed her sister's lip twitch upward at the praise. "That's why she has little use for fighting."

"Exactly." Victoria snapped, shooting a glare at Heidi. "Why did you tell her that?"

Her lover shrugged, smiling teasingly at her. "Just making conversation."

Noela shook her head. "This will not do. I will teach you."

"No, you won't," Victoria growled, moving to walk away. "You're new. Don't cross me, you feral bitch."

Before Anne and Hilda could scold Victoria, a dry laugh escaped Noela.

"If I do cross you, what will you possibly do in retaliation? You are weak."

Victoria froze, hands curling into fists, but she kept her back to Noela. "I didn't need to be strong in order to kill those who wronged me. You will be no different."

"Is that supposed to scare me?"

"I don't care how you interpret what I say. Just leave me alone."

Noela hummed before abruptly charging Victoria.

Her sister didn't bother turning her head, moving a step to the left just as Noela was about to slam into her.

Instead, the brawler went sailing past, snarling when she missed and braced herself against a tree trunk.

Anne was about to shout for them to stop when she noticed Hilda shaking her head. "Noela will need to come to respect Victoria on her own terms. This needs to happen. We won't let it go too far." Anne understood, but at the same time, she was terrified for her sister.

Victoria, however, continued dodging Noela with ease. She didn't seem infuriated by her attack, if anything, the redhead looked entertained by the challenge Noela presented.

She's having fun?

"Stop running and fight back!" Noela boomed, growing more and more frustrated with her inability to catch Victoria.

Anne watched as her sister laughed mockingly at her. "Why would I do that?"

"Because cowards run! But those who are brave stay and fight!" She threw her fist where Victoria's face had been, but she only ended up striking air.

Victoria smiled as she slipped behind Noela. "I never agreed to spar with you, or whatever this pointless exercise is." She flipped over the kick that was aimed at her abdomen, landing on the ground and jumping over another kick that was aimed to sweep her legs.

Victoria flowed around Noela like air.

Simultaneously everywhere and nowhere at the same time. As though she could read her movements before Noela could even think them.

Anne had seen Victoria run from Heidi or play tag with Mary, but that had always been playful, and Victoria would allow herself to be caught.

But watching her move around Noela, never faltering in her movements and never slowing down, was incredible.

When Noela threw another punch Victoria spun around it, hooking her arm around Noela's throat and using her momentum to throw her.

The brawler went flying, slamming into a tree and toppling it to the ground.

Mary gasped and clapped her hands together. "Go Victoria!"

Heidi watched on with black eyes, and Anne couldn't help but look at her sister in awe. She had never seen Victoria fight, and while her methods weren't conventional or centered around strength, they were still effective.

Noela had gotten up and was racing towards Victoria again when Hilda interjected. She stood in front of Victoria, making Noela curse and dig her feet into the earth. Dirt sprayed everywhere as she came to an abrupt stop.

Her eyes were black and her shoulders were heaving. She wanted to keep fighting, but their maker shook her head.

"You've seen what she can do. There's no reason to continue this."

Noela blinked, looking past their mother and at Victoria, who was smirking at her.

She then grinned. "That was good!" Victoria's smirk disappeared. "I would like to fight you again!"

The redhead glanced at Anne in confusion before looking back at Noela. "Uh…"

"Tomorrow, then," Noela said, sparing a glance at Anne before going to her side. "Can you fight like your sister?"

She heard Heidi giggle and refrained from glaring at her. "Afraid not."

Noela nodded, not disappointed by her answer. "I've never seen anyone fight like that. It was impressive."

Victoria still looked confused. "What is happening-" Heidi swooped in, grabbing her hand and tugging her away from the cave.

"Focus on that later, Tori. Why don't you show me some of those moves you used?" She purred, making Hilda wince and Mary gag. A small laugh escaped Victoria and the two disappeared into the woods.

Anne looked at Noela, acting as though she hadn't heard Heidi seduce her sister. "She is very impressive. I'm proud of her."

"You should be...she's lucky to have you." Before Anne could ask what she meant, Noela brushed her hand against hers before darting off into the forest.

Anne stared at her tingling hand, blinking in surprise at the feeling Noela had left behind.

Admiration.

...

"Heidi said I would find you here." Noela's gruff voice drew her from her musings, and she tore her gaze from the sunrise. A habit her mother had instilled in her.

"Hello." Anne greeted her with a small wave.

Noela entered the poppy fields, moving slowly as she made her way to her side. "I...I never said I was sorry for attacking you." She grumbled, looking guilty as she spoke. "I'm very sorry for attacking you."

Anne smiled at her. "You have nothing to apologize for. You were scared. I understand."

The newborn winced and looked away from her. "Hilda...our mother," she corrected, "she told me about your gift." She wrapped her arms around herself. "Sorry if you saw or felt anything that was bad."

"I didn't."

It was silent, and Anne figured Noela would speak on her own time, so she turned back to the flowers. Seeing all the vibrant, red flowers always made her smile.

Red reminded her fondly of Victoria. Her fiery sister.

Too fiery for her own good.

It often worried her, but there was only so much she could do to help.

"You like flowers." Noela's voice garnered her attention.

She smiled. "Yes. Do you like them?"

"I don't see much use in flowers."

Anne hummed and toyed with the flower petals. "Well, they smell nice and they're beautiful and…" she didn't know what they were used for either. But some of her clients had given her flowers after she serviced them. "Sometimes they're given as gifts."

Victoria and Hilda had planted flowers around their cave, and it was the most beautiful gift she had ever received. She didn't like picking favorites, but red poppies were by far her most favorite flower.

"Gifts." Noela grumbled, reaching out and grabbing a handful of poppies by their stems. She ripped them from the ground, taking their roots with them. Dirt fell from the roots, and Anne watched with wide eyes as Noela held out the flowers to her.

"For you." She said proudly. "A gift."

Anne blinked, tentatively reaching out and holding the stems.

Their hands touched.

Affection. Affection. Affection.

Anne couldn't help but smile, awkwardly holding the flowers away from her as dirt continued to cascade down the roots at the slightest movement.

"Thank you. But you don't have to…" Noela looked worried, and Anne huffed out a quiet laugh before shaking her head. "Thank you. This is very sweet." She really didn't know what to do with them. "What's the occasion?"

Noela frowned at her. "A gift."

"Yes, but what for?"

Victoria, Hilda, and Heidi were her family, so gifts from them were normal and welcome.

The only other times she had been gifted things was when she had serviced people. But any gifts she did receive were taken by Gregory.

Noela was part of their family now, but they hardly knew each other.

The newborn seemed startled by the question, and her brow furrowed before she held her hands behind her back. "You calmed me down after I turned...so...thank you." Anne looked at her in surprise. "And you're very beautiful. So you should have beautiful things."

Anne stared at her with wide eyes before slowly placing the flowers onto the ground. Tentatively, she plucked off a flower from its stem. Noela watched her, not moving as Anne tucked the flower behind her partially missing ear, smiling as she moved her black hair to prevent it from falling out.

Noela frowned at her. "Why did you take part of your gift and give it to me? You're not supposed to do that."

She couldn't help but feel sheepish. "Well, you're beautiful, and you deserve beautiful things too."

Noela looked at her in disbelief. "You...think I'm beautiful?" Anne nodded and Noela shook her head. "Heidi is beautiful. Victoria is beautiful. You are beautiful." She said, "But I am not. I am...scary."

"Why?" Anne murmured, reaching out and resting her hand on her cheek. "Because you've been hurt?" Her thumb grazed her severed eyebrow.

Fear.

Sadness.

She remembers wary glances. She remembers mothers hugging their children close whenever she passed. She remembers the mockery and the whispers and the-

"I think you're beautiful."

Confusion.

Doubt.

Red eyes peered at her. "You're just trying to make me feel better. You're nice. That's what nice people do." She didn't move away from Anne's hand, instead, she leaned slightly against it. "But my scars...where's the beauty in that? Or the missing half of my ear? Or my chipped tooth?"

Anne stared at her for a moment, soaking in her emotions and feeling her eyes begin to water. "I know they were painful but...I see them and it shows me that you're still here. You survived. And that's beautiful."

Doubt.

Affection.

"I…" Noela trailed off.

Embarrassment.

Doubt.

Courage.

"Could I...stay and watch the sunrise with you?"

Anne smiled as warmth bloomed into her chest. She pulled away and sat amongst the field of poppies. "I'd love for you to join me. You never have to ask."

Noela sat at her side, and the two spoke in whispers until the sun came up.

...

Anne had never had much time to think about love.

She had never considered it.

But Noela...Noela made her think about it often.

The brawler would give her a different flower every day, smiling sheepishly and curled in slightly on herself as she handed it to her. A stark contrast to her usually confident demeanor.

It always made Anne smile. It always made Anne want to kiss her. But she had no idea how to go about doing that.

Today Noela arrived with a sunflower, bearing her usual sheepish smile and asking, "Would you like to come hunting with me?"

The giddiness that came with seeing Noela made her speak without thinking. "Yes."

They ran together, and even then Anne hadn't realized just what she had agreed to. Noela was distracting. She was distracting in a way that would have made Anne's heart race if she were human.

There was a nervous excitement that buzzed in the air as they ran. And Anne noticed that Noela was more quiet than usual.

Hilda told her that she should be honest about her feelings.

Mary and Victoria had agreed, though Victoria made a few threats here and there. But she wanted Anne to be happy, and if Noela made her happy, then Victoria decided she liked the brawler well enough.

Heidi told her that she should just kiss her since it was obvious Noela liked her romantically.

Anne had squeaked at the idea, scowling when all three of her sisters, her mother included, had laughed at her.

Noela was rough around the edges but very gentle at the same time. Being with her would be...nice.

She imagines that kissing her would be nice too.

All romantic thoughts fled when the vampires came across three hunters.

Anne's eyes widened and she froze, hyper-aware of Noela's presence.

There was a reason she normally hunted alone. All the emotions that she felt when she killed her prey were overwhelming, and she needed time alone afterward in order to let the emotions and memories drain out of her completely.

Her sisters killed indiscriminately, while she had only tried killing those that were more deserving of it. But either way, the pain their dying memories, emotions, and thoughts had on her was all the same.

"Anne? Are you alright?" Noela asked softly, reaching out and taking her hand in hers.

Concern.

Anne swallowed thickly, fighting back her tears as she turned to Noela. "Yes, I just...I'm sorry. I normally hunt by myself because their emotions are so...overwhelming as they die." She murmured, releasing a shaky breath before turning her attention back towards the hunters. "It's...difficult to cope. So I prefer to be alone. Then no one can see me when I…"

No one can see me when I mourn for them.

Concern.

Hope.

Noela pulled away from her, lunging at the hunters without another word.

Anne had thought it was the newborn's bloodlust that drove her to attack. But Noela had snapped all of their necks before any of them had even noticed her, and not a drop of blood had been spilled.

In seconds she was in front of her again, carrying all three of the dead hunters and laying them out before Anne.

The brawler bore her nervous demeanor once again. Shoulders hunching slightly and her eyes remained downcast as she spoke.

"You said their emotions are overwhelming. So I thought if I hunted for you, then you wouldn't be sad." Noela murmured, finally looking up at Anne, who was staring at her with wide eyes. "If you wouldn't mind...I would like to do this for you. If you'd let me."

Anne felt tears burn her eyes and a shaky laugh escaped her. "That would be...very nice of you. Thank you." She surveyed the bodies. "Aren't you going to feed?"

Noela straightened her posture and held her head up high. "Heidi said it would be nice to bring you things that you like every day, as well as let you have the first choice when we hunted."

Of course, my sister would meddle.

"So you're doing this because Heidi told you to?"

The brawler gaped at her, no longer looking confident as she shook her head vigorously. "No! Well, she said to bring you things you like, and I know you like flowers, so that's why I bring you flowers every day. And she said that Victoria always let her have the first pick when they hunt together, and I wanted to be...nice." She smiled nervously, smoothing down the black strands of hair that got in her face before placing her hands behind her back.

Anne couldn't help but feel hopelessly endeared to her. "And why are you so worried about being...nice?" Noela opened her mouth before quickly closing it, looking for something to say but finding nothing.

Anne didn't push, and she didn't touch her. If Noela wanted to, she could reveal what she meant on her own time.

The older vampire moved closer to the bodies. When she touched the corpse of a hunter she felt nothing. And she never realized how good nothing could feel until now.

The relief of not having to see memories and feel the emotions of the dying was almost enough to make her start weeping. And while a part of her was still saddened by the death of these men, she was so grateful to feed in peace for the first time in her vampiric life.

The two fed in silence before Anne moved to start digging.

Noela frowned at her. "What are you doing?"

"I always bury them."

The newborn stared at the bodies. "When I killed people, I never buried them. Took too long." She glanced at Anne. "Not like the dead can really thank you for it. Not like it matters what happens to them anyway."

Anne didn't remember her birth mother well, but she remembers being there when they buried her. And she remembers what a relief it was to no longer see empty green eyes staring back at her.

"I don't know...putting them to rest just seems like a good conclusion." She murmured. "They are gone. And now, so are their bodies." She paused her digging and looked at Noela. "I suppose it just makes me feel better."

She expected Noela to leave, but instead, the brawler began digging beside her, and in a few minutes all the bloodless corpses were buried in their respective graves.

Once the last hunter's grave had been fully covered, Noela sat beside it, staring at the mound of dirt that remained.

"I wish my mother had been buried." The newborn whispered, not tearing her gaze away from the graves. "They left her to rot and...I always said it didn't bother me, but it did. It still does."

Anne sat next to her, reaching out and taking her hand in hers. "I'm sorry."

Hurt.

Confusion.

Noela interlaced their fingers. "Don't be. It was a long time ago and I hardly remember it."

She remembers watching the body slowly decay. She remembers the rancid smell that permeated their old home. She remembers how stiff her mother's limbs had become and how heavy she was.

She wasn't able to ignore it anymore. Her mother smelled too bad and looked too disfigured for her to keep pretending as though she were alive.

A seven year old wasn't strong enough to move the body. When had her mother gotten so heavy? When had her mother stopped being her mother? How long had she pretended-

Anne flinched away from her, blinking rapidly and getting to her feet.

Noela was on hers in an instant, reaching out to help but withdrawing just as quickly when she realized it was her own emotions that caused Anne such distress.

"I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Noela." Anne cupped her face in her hands, staring into bright red eyes and trying to ignore the emotions that danced beneath her skin. "You can't help how you feel. You don't have to lie to me."

The brawler released a shuttered breath, leaning into her touch and lightly placing her hands on her waist.

Calm.

The images vanished and the brawler relaxed.

"Okay." She whispered, staring at Anne so intensely that she nearly looked away. "Can I...would it be alright if I-" Anne's grip on her face tightened ever so slightly so she could press her lips against hers.

Lust.

Noela's grip on her waist tightened.

Attraction.

She released her, and instead wrapped her arms around Anne to hug her closer.

Love.

Anne's body hummed with the feeling, and it pounded in her veins as sure as a heartbeat.

Love.

And maybe it was too soon to tell. And maybe she didn't know what romantic love felt like.

But with Noela, Anne knew it was something she could experience.

---

None of it was working.

The sex. The comradery. The hunts. The flowers. The banter. The comfort of her mother.

None of it was working.

Heidi tried desperately to keep her distracted but to no avail.

Bela was gone, and her continuous fascination had been stifled.

Mary and Anne were walking reminders that Gregory was still out there. He hadn't paid for what he's done.

"Let it go, Victoria," Anne warned. "He's old, and he doesn't profit from working girls anymore."

"You've seen him?"

"I went because I can feel this eating away at you." Her sister sighed. "He's settled down. Gregory has a wife and a daughter who's a little younger than us."

Her eyes widened. "I could have already killed him-"

"And risked hurting the working girls with your uncontrolled bloodlust!"

Victoria hissed and squeezed her eyes shut. "You mean he gets to get away with this? With everything he's done!" Her eyes snapped open, growing more frustrated with the patient look her sister bore.

"If his conscience doesn't punish him, then the afterlife will."

"That's not good enough!"

"It'll have to be!"

Victoria stared at her in disbelief. "You…" she laughed but nothing was funny. "You always were the weaker one-"

Anne grabbed her by her shirt, dragging her closer and snarling in her face. "I raised you! I worked so you didn't have to! I took beatings for you, and you have the nerve to call me weak?"

I don't mean it. You know that. I'm just angry, I'm so sorry.

But her rage had been building for years. The distractions hadn't worked. They had only delayed the inevitable.

"And you'd break bread with our enemies before enacting justice! You wonder about how they became monsters, as though the answer matters!" Victoria roared. "What matters is that they hurt us! They hurt Mary! But you're too kind and too weak to realize that!"

Black eyes watered with sorrow and rage. "There is strength in kindness! There is strength in having suffered but still being able to love those around you!" Anne looked at her as though she were a stranger. "You were doing so well. Why this? Why now?"

I can't keep pretending. I'm so sorry.

Victoria ripped away from her. "When Gregory is dead, I'll come home, and this will all be over."

Anne said nothing. Instead, she turned away from her, and Victoria took that as her cue to leave.

...

There were no more working girls. None that she could hear or smell. Only horses.

Trying to change your ways?

Victoria growled under her breath as she surveyed the estate.

"When all this is said and done, what will you do?"

Victoria darted forward, grabbing the guard's face and snapping his neck.

"Killing them won't make the pain go away."

What did her mother know?

Gregory was still alive. He still haunted her. And killing him would fix that.

Killing him would make everything right.

"You don't care about his victims...you only care about inflicting pain."

Anne knew nothing. This wasn't just about her. She was killing Gregory for Anne and Mary, not just for herself.

"I...I upset Gregory."

Sweet Mary, who had done nothing but love horses.

"I don't know what I did, but he came into the stables, furious with me."

Victoria snarled, ramming her fist into the chest of another guard. His armor concaved, giving way to the force of her punch as her fist exited the back of his chest.

"That's how Hilda found us..."

Tears burned black eyes as she shoved his body off of her. She wiped the blood off her fist, composing herself before she looked up at the estate.

Slaughtering the guards had been quick. They weren't who was after. But their deaths would send a message.

"Gregory's death won't heal you."

Victoria growled, kicking another corpse aside before she scaled the estate.

Anne is wrong. His death means justice will prevail.

Her mind was buzzing as she darted through the estate, listening intently to the family having dinner and partaking in small talk.

"Why can't you let this go?"

Victoria made it to the ground floor, body humming with anticipation when she heard Gregory's voice.

Finally.

For so long she had denied herself. The euphoria that came before the kill was unmatched. And she had to suppress a giggle when Gregory came into view.

I've waited so long for you. Will you beg? Will you cry? Will you piss yourself like the coward you are?

"My god, you have gotten old." Victoria hummed, strolling through into the dining room with ease. The family was startled at the sight of her and she smiled, enjoying the fear in Gregory's cold blue eyes. "You left the library window open."

She looked around the room, taking in the fancy paintings, mahogany-colored dining furniture, and the ivory fireplace. The fire was crackling softly, preventing the room from being drenched in silence.

Did you think you could hide behind your money?

The dining table had been engraved with gold etchings, the rug was embroidered with fabrics Victoria had never seen before, and she was certain she had never detested a place more in her entire life.

Did you think you could live peacefully, after everything you've done?

"W-Who are you? What's wrong with your eyes?" The older woman asked, drawing Victoria's attention. She had brown eyes and greying brown hair. She wore a fancy dress, but the vampire didn't bother noticing the detail.

She had seen enough.

The woman looked to be in her forties, as did Gregory, who had grown a full beard but was noticeably losing his hair. His broad frame had remained the same, though he seemed to have lost a bit of weight from when she had last seen him.

He had dark circles beneath his eyes, and he was staring at Victoria with the same piercing blue eyes that had once given her nightmares.

You remember me.

"I'm an old friend of Gregory's." She sat at the opposite end of the table, smiling pleasantly as she folded her hands in front of her. "It's been quite some time."

The woman turned to him with wide eyes. "You know her?"

Gregory could only stare at Victoria, and the vampire laughed. "Come now, old man, tell them how we met!"

She could hear his pulse race. "I…" he looked at the older woman. "Olivia, why don't you and Elizabeth wait for me in your rooms-"

"No need for that." Victoria stood to her feet, looking around the room once again. "You have a lovely home." She mused, walking slowly and purposefully towards Gregory. "How did a former dock worker come into such wealth?"

Olivia stood up, face red and lips pursed. "N-Now you listen here! I don't know who you are but if you don't leave I'll call the guards-"

"Don't bother. They're all dead." Victoria paused and glanced at their daughter. The girl that sat in between them looked to be around Mary's age.

"What did you do-"

"Hush, and look." Victoria moved to the window, pulling the curtain back to expose the pile of dead guards she had created.

Gregory's eyes widened and his face paled. Sweat beaded down his forehead and he looked like he was about to faint.

Elizabeth whimpered, eyes filling with tears as she turned her face away from the carnage.

This made Victoria falter. But only for a moment.

Olivia screamed, leaning back in her seat and covering her daughter's eyes. "What...what are you! What-"

Victoria was getting impatient. She closed the curtain and slammed her fist on the table, silencing the older woman. "Be quiet!" Olivia immediately closed her mouth, shakily removing her hand from Elizabeth's eyes and wrapping her into a hug instead. "Now, I'm going to ask you some questions, and you're going to answer them. Do you understand?"

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she held her trembling daughter to her chest. "Please, please don't hurt us-"

Victoria refrained from snarling at her, and instead, she relaxed her posture. "Can questions hurt you?"

"N-No. But answers can." Olivia replied meekly, making the vampire smile broadly at her.

"They can! But providing me with no answers won't end well for you."

Olivia swallowed thickly, casting a wary glance at her husband who was still frozen in shock. "I-I'll answer."

Victoria's smile widened. "Smart." She drifted closer to Gregory. "Do you know how your husband came into all this wealth?"

She frowned at her, looking perplexed by the question. "He breeds horses." She glanced at Gregory before looking back at Victoria. "Why...is it that you're here?"

Victoria glanced at her husband. "Gregory, do tell them why I'm here."

He seemed to snap out of his surprise. With a clenched jaw, he sneakily placed his hand on his knife and slipped it into his lap. "Victoria, please, Olivia had nothing to do with my work."

"You didn't tell her?"

His wife looked at him apprehensively. "Tell me what? What is she talking about?"

The man tightened his grip on his knife, she could see it in the way his muscles flexed in his arm. "Is it money you want? Horses? Whatever you want in this house, whatever you want in this world, I can give it to you." He promised. "I'm a powerful man. Let me compensate you for all that you've done for me over the years."

You know I'm dangerous. But your courtesies are many years too late.

Olivia's eyes widened. "That's what this is? She used to work for you?"

"Yes. A disgruntled worker who should have been treated far better than she was." He said, giving his wife a reassuring look. "I was short-tempered in my youth, and Victoria has every right to be upset."

Once a rat, always a rat.

He had always been that way. Hiding his deceit behind his half-truths. It should have made her angry, but she only felt amusement at the sound of his quickening heartbeat.

Olivia spared a nervous glance at the vampire before turning back to Gregory. "What's wrong with her eyes? How did she kill all those-"

"Let's not focus on that now, dear. Victoria comes here today deserving proper compensation."

Gregory was more literate now than he had ever been. Though, she wasn't surprised. He couldn't marry someone like Olivia, who had the look of a highborn woman, without being well-read and wealthy.

Victoria searched his piercing blue eyes, pretending to consider his offer as she tilted her head to the side. "You'll give me anything I ask for?"

"Anything. You have my word."

The redhead leaned closer to him, searching his eyes for a moment before she smiled. "Lies come so easily to you." She glanced at Elizabeth. "A poor example you're setting for your daughter, isn't it?"

The color fled his face and his eyes widened. "I...I speak the truth. Anything you want, and it's yours."

"And that knife you're holding beneath the table, what if I want that?" Her smile grew when she saw more sweat continue to slide down his face. "Oh, I only jest, Gregory. I don't want such weak cutlery." She shook her head. "Not a proper blade for cutting through flesh. You have to apply a lot of pressure and, well, by then you have a big mess on your hands." A laugh escaped her. "I've made that mistake before. Cleaning up afterward was such a hassle."

His breath hitched and his eyes widened. His heart was now thundering in his chest and he began to tremble as he looked at her in disbelief and terror.

Victoria had dreamt of this moment the second she escaped Gregory. It was just as satisfying as she imagined.

She then turned her attention to Elizabeth. "Do you know how your father was able to afford this house and all your pretty little dresses?"

Elizabeth stared at her with wide eyes. "N-No."

"Would you like to know?" She spared a glance at Olivia. "What about you? Would you like to know?"

Gregory jumped to his feet and yelled, shoving his blade into Victoria's back, only to watch it shatter as though it were made of glass.

Victoria laughed, turning just so she could see the fear in his eyes. His mouth was agape and his entire body was trembling in fear. He looked like a fish.

"I told you." She backhanded him, smiling widely at Olivia's startled scream and Gregory's groan of pain as he slammed into the wall. He bounced off and hit the ground, and a few of the paintings fell with him. "That blade was weak, and you clearly didn't apply enough pressure." She laughed again, soaking in the euphoria she had been denying herself for so long. "I hope you're a better horse breeder than you are a listener."

He tried scrambling away from her, not taking his eyes off the vampire as he crawled backward. But the wall prevented him from moving any further.

Victoria stalked closer to him, grabbing his shirt and lifting him off his feet. "Tell them." With her free hand, she picked up a fork off the table and lifted it to his eye. "Tell them how you could afford this fancy fucking house with your fancy fucking horses and their fancy fucking dresses!"

Olivia screamed at her to stop but she paid her no mind.

She could only stare at Gregory, who was red in the face and sweating profusely as he looked at the prongs of the fork. A bruise was beginning to bloom on his cheekbone, but it wasn't enough.

Victoria growled and gave him a shake. "Look at your daughter! Tell her about the girls! Tell her what you did to those girls! Girls that look just like her!" A sob escaped him and she slammed his back into the wall and held him there. "TELL HER!"

He was blubbering now, snot oozed from his nose and tears streamed down his face. "I-I'll tell her, just-just-" Victoria dropped him, watching as he used his sleeve to wipe his nose. He was breathing raggedly, trying to muffle his sobs in his hand as he collected himself.

He fell to his knees before her, folding his trembling hands together, trying desperately to evoke some compassion from her.

You will get none.

Victoria released a breath, feeling better than she had in years.

To see Gregory on his knees, sobbing and soiling himself at the mere sight of her made her feel relieved.

Happy.

And yet anger still burned in her chest. It suffocated her.

But it was better than the ice that normally pierced her heart and the numbness that came with it. However, a creeping feeling of dread encompassed her.

Because she may have been happy, but deep down, she knew that this wasn't enough.

Her happiness would flee, just as it always did when she enacted justice.

And the cold will creep back in. But after Gregory, there will be nowhere to direct my hatred. I'll feel numb again. I'll feel cold and helpless-

"I...I had many girls working for me. I would send them for...others to enjoy." Gregory muttered, and the vampire cocked her head to the side.

"What else?"

"I would...I would keep all the money."

"And?" Gregory remained silent, and Victoria gave him a swift kick to the side.

CRACK!

He screeched in agony, falling to his back as Victoria glared down at him. "I keep a roof over your head and food in your mouth, and this is how you repay me?" She stomped on his leg, and another crack echoed in the room, followed by his piercing scream. "By being lazy!" She grabbed his shirt, lifting him so his head was off the ground before she slammed her fist into his nose, making his head whip to the side. "All you have to do is show your tits, spread your legs, and let men do what they want to you! How hard is that!" He was sobbing now, holding his gushing nose and looking up at her in terror. "You stupid sluts are more trouble than your worth!"

She raised a hand to strike him again, watching in glee as he flinched away from her.

Good. Suffer, just as I have.

Olivia looked mortified, tears streaming down her cheeks as she pulled Elizabeth close to her. "You...is that how you talked to them? Is that how you treated them?"

Elizabeth had begun crying, burying her face into her mother's neck so she wouldn't have to see her father.

"I-I'm sorry! I know what I did was wrong-"

"This house was built off the blood of your working girls!" Victoria roared, fisting his shirt more tightly shaking him roughly.

"A-Anne? What happened to your eye?"

"How many of them did you kill!"

"It's nothing. Nothing. Gregory's just a bit upset today, so keep your head down, alright? Remember that hiding spot I showed you?"

She remembers.

She remembers vividly how black and swollen Anne's eye had become. She remembers crying as her sister tried to comfort her.

She remembers the bruises. The scars. The tears. The screams. The fists.

The fear.

"How can you look your daughter in the eye knowing what you did to those girls? Girls that were her age, and even younger!"

I'll make you suffer, and then I'll kill you.

She wrapped her hand around his throat and began to squeeze.

"Gregory didn't like that. That's how Hilda found us..."

"I should have killed you years ago. But I'm here now." Victoria hissed, watching as blue veins began to bulge from his forehead. He pulled at her hands, desperate to catch his breath, but she didn't budge "You built this house on their graves, and in here your corpse will rot!"

"Then what? He dies and you continue living. In the end, you're the only one that's still suffering." Hilda's voice echoed in her ears, and her eyes widened.

"Damn you!" She shoved him away, standing tall as he gulped in large breaths of air.

I live every day remembering how you hurt me. You don't deserve the luxury of death. You deserve to suffer for the rest of your miserable life.

An idea formed.

A life for a life.

She thought about killing Elizabeth, but then, she really would be no better than Gregory.

But his wife…

"Gregory." He flinched when she addressed him.

I'll let him live with the pain, just as I have.

"Do you love your wife?"

He nodded earnestly. "Y-Yes." He rasped, rubbing at his neck with one hand and holding his nose with the other. "Your quarrel is with me. Just leave my family out of this." His voice was muffled and blood was oozing from between his fingers. "She never knew, and she never took part in any of it. You have to believe me."

"I do." In seconds Victoria had Olivia by her throat, moving so she stood before Gregory.

"No!" Elizabeth screamed, but she didn't dare to move closer.

Victoria kept her gaze directly on Gregory. "When I was thirteen you took someone very dear to me. Do you remember her name?" The man sobbed, staring hopelessly at his wife, who struggled feebly in Victoria's grip. "Look at me, Gregory. I'm talking to you."

Elizabeth's plea almost made her falter. "I-I know what my father did to you was terrible. But please, not my mother. Not her."

Olivia looked at her daughter with watery eyes. "It'll be alright, Elizabeth. It will be."

"No...mother it won't be-"

"Hush now." She murmured. "You're a brave girl. Be brave for me."

Victoria ignored them, too blinded by her desire for justice. "Her name, Gregory." He wasn't paying attention, and her grip on Olivia's throat tightened. "What's her goddamn name!"

A cry escaped him and he shook his head. "I...I don't remember-"

"Anne!" She snarled. "You sent her away and tried to imprison me! You beat me because she didn't come home!" She rested her foot on his ankle, eyes burning with hatred. "There's another girl. You remember her. The one that liked horses." His eyes widened. "You beat her to death and killed her horse. What. Was. Her. Name."

"Mary! It was Mary!" He sobbed, looking up at her with glassy, red-rimmed eyes. "Please, leave my family out of this. You can do whatever you want to me, but not them. Please. Please! I'm so sorry-"

"You're only sorry because I'm making you sorry." She growled, removing her foot from his ankle and looming over him. "You will never be free of me. Every time you close your eyes, you will see my face. I will be in every shadow, hiding and watching and waiting to rip out your throat. You can never hide from a vampire. I will always find you." She hissed. "Not even in your dreams will you be able to escape me, because I will be there, and I will turn them into nightmares."

Gregory sobbed even more loudly, trying to get to his feet but was unable to due to his injuries. "I deserve it! I do! But my wife is innocent-"

"My sisters were innocent! But you still took them from me!" Victoria roared, standing up straight and turning back to Olivia. "And now, you'll feel just as I did!"

"Mother!" Elizabeth screamed.

"No! Not Olivia! Take me! Take me-"

It was over.

Screams of terror fell on deaf ears. The only sound Victoria heard was of Olivia's body hitting the ground with a thud.

A life for a life.

Gregory's face contorted into a look of agony as he stared at his dead wife. With a strangled scream he was able to shift onto his stomach, crawling slowly to Olivia's body.

Without the use of his legs, he looked pitiful. Just a sad, repugnant old man, that was desperately trying to get to his wife. When he reached Olivia he covered her body with his own, sobbing loudly as he took her limp hand in his and slid his free hand into her hair.

"Olivia!" He wailed. "Oh, God! Olivia!"

Gregory would now live in misery. He had gotten what he deserved, and he would suffer for all that he had done.

Finally.

But Victoria didn't smile.

...

Victoria stumbled into the cave, covered in blood and hands shaking as she collapsed onto the floor. Her eyes were wide and wet, and the cold she had fought so desperately against was now back.

She remembered when she was thirteen, alone in the streets. She had never been without Anne. She didn't know it could ever get that cold in London. A chill so powerful she could feel it in her bones.

And now, that same chill had returned. It didn't give her goosebumps. It didn't make her shiver. It didn't make her teeth chatter or her lips turn blue.

But she felt it in her chest. She felt it in her bones.

"How could you?"

"You did it." Anne's voice didn't rouse her from her spot on the floor. She ignored her, curling into a ball and staring straight ahead.

"Just be grateful that it wasn't you. But I'm not like your father. I don't hurt little girls."

Anne sat next to her. "How do you feel?"

"Y-You do hurt little girls. You hurt me!"

Her sister slowly reached for her hand, giving Victoria a chance to pull away if she wanted to.

"I was enacting justice!"

The firm grip of Anne's hand roused Victoria. It tethered her. Comforted her. Just as it always did.

"You call this justice? You're a monster." Elizabeth had wept.

"Oh...Victoria." Her sister sounded close to crying. "Why?"

"I'm not a monster! Your father is! He beat me! He got my sister killed! He killed Mary and so many others-"

"You didn't kill him! You killed my mother! She was innocent!"

Victoria blinked, turning to Anne and hating the anguish that burned in her eyes. It was a look she was all too familiar with, but this time Anne looked as though Victoria had broken her heart.

She hated that look. She hated that she ever made Anne sad.

She hated herself.

"A life for a life."

Anne released her hand, nearly making Victoria sob.

"I-I'm sorry for everything I said earlier. You're not weak. I didn't mean any of it." She whispered, reaching out to grab her sister's hand, and fighting back her whimper when Anne stood to her feet and moved away from her.

Her sister's head was bowed, and her voice was thick with emotion when she spoke. "I hope that, when people look at you, they have the compassion to wonder what made you this way." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I hope you are viewed in the same merciful light that you have denied others."

"I will hurt you for this." Elizabeth had whispered, sounding far too broken to mean it. But Victoria knew she had spoken with conviction. "I will make you hurt just as I did."

"Did you not hear me earlier?" Victoria had growled. "I'm a vampire, you silly little fool. You can't hurt me."

"I don't care! I'll kill you! I swear it!"

And Victoria had stood there, unable to meet Elizabeth's broken eyes, and instead, she had looked at Gregory. Still weeping over the corpse of his wife.

"You can't kill what's already dead."

Victoria scrambled to her feet. "Anne! I'm sorry, please-"

"I love you, Victoria. More than anything. And I always will." She murmured, turning away from her. "But I know your apology only extends to me. You're not sorry for what you've done. Not truly."

Gregory suffered. That's all I wanted.

She clenched her jaw.

But so did Elizabeth.

Anne left the cave and this time Victoria didn't try to stop her.

---

Irina hadn't hunted in days.

Sometimes she forgot herself. Sometimes she let the pain win, and she didn't have the motivation to feed.

Today was one of those days.

She was running around mindlessly, delirious from starvation. She didn't know why she kept running, she didn't know what she was running from, all she knew was that she couldn't stop.

It was hard to think whenever she was like this, and maybe that's why she refrained from feeding.

Everything was foggy. Muddled. Unfocused.

Even the pain.

The scents of two vampires made her freeze, and a low growl escaped her. She could hear their giggles as they darted around the forest.

"We can't be gone for too long. Our mother wants us back so we can plant more poppies."

Irina's eyes widened.

Mother.

She saw red.

"Anne!"

This voice was different. Not the voice of the girl who mentioned having a mother.

Maybe God is real, and he loves to see me suffer.

Irina hadn't realized she was running towards them until the smaller vampire lunged for her. The newborn launched herself into the air, slamming her foot into the vampire's face and making her fly back into the forest.

With her out of the way, Irina turned to the other vampire.

Anne.

She slammed into her, taking them both to the ground. Her hands curled around her throat, squeezing tight enough to make her skin crack.

"Where is your mother now?" Irina snarled mockingly, refraining from ripping her head from her body just so she could hear her answer.

It hurts. Everything hurts.

She wanted to stop hurting. And if that meant becoming a monster, then so be it.

Her grip on Anne's throat tightened. "Answer me!"

But the vampire beneath her didn't retaliate, much to her surprise.

Instead, she slowly reached up to Irina and rested her hands on her forearms. She didn't try to rip Irina off of her. She only gently held her forearms and looked at her with warm red eyes.

Her hands...soft and firm.

Irina's hair was long enough to create a curtain around them, despite her not being bent over very far.

All she could see was the cracks on Anne's neck and the odd facial expression she wore. It was not one of fear or anger, but something else. Something she had seen on Bela so many times…

Bela.

Irina hissed at her. "S-Stop that! I asked you a question!"

I'm a monster. I'll kill you. I'll do anything to make the pain go away.

Anne gazed up at her as though she understood how she felt. It was unnerving.

My hands are wrapped around your throat. Why do you not fear me?

"You're not a monster." Irina flinched, her anger faltering as she stared into Anne's teary red eyes. "I know this because I've seen it."

She's lying.

Anne ran her thumb in soothing circles on Irina's forearm. "You won't freeze. Not when I'm around to keep you warm."

Erik.

Irina removed her hands from her neck.

God...have you answered my prayers?

She stared at Anne, desperate to find any hint of resemblance.

Have you brought Erik back to me?

Anne's eyes widened and she looked away from her. "Noela stop!" Irina was abruptly grabbed by her hair. She was yanked off of Anne and into the arms of the smaller vampire.

Noela had her arm around her throat and her fingers buried in her long locks, ready to rip her head from her body.

"I'll rip you limb from limb!" She roared, pulling her hair and making pain burn along Irina's throat. She could feel her skin begin to crack, and she hissed, trying to escape the hold but to no avail.

"Noela." Anne was in front of them in seconds, resting her hand on Noela's. "Let her go."

"She tried to kill you-"

"Look at her!" Anne implored, not angry but exasperated. "She hasn't fed in who knows how long. And her maker…" a soft whimper escaped Irina, and Anne's eyes watered. "Her maker bond is severed and she's thirsty. She's not in her right mind."

Noela growled at that. "All the more reason to put her out of her misery." But she released the newborn.

A wave of fatigue washed over her, and Irina fell to her knees. She held her wounded throat, swallowing thickly at the persistent burn that she had been ignoring for days.

Anne got to her knees as well, reaching out and taking her hand in hers. "Noela, will you please go hunting for her."

"I'm not leaving you alone with-"

"I'll be fine. She's in a weakened state." Anne gave Irina a meaningful look. "She doesn't want to hurt me." She looked up at her companion. "Please."

Noela growled under her breath but did as she was asked, disappearing into the woods with an angry huff.

Anne continued holding Irina's hand, and she licked her free palm before gently applying the venom to Irina's neck.

The newborn stared at the cracks she had left on Anne's skin. "I hurt you." She murmured. "Erik, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" her eyes watered and she coated her own hand with venom, sealing the cracks she had created. "Are you alright?"

Anne winced. "I'm not Erik."

Irina frowned at her. "Then...how did you…"

"My gift." She murmured, now holding both of Irina's hands in her own. "I can feel emotions. And when they're strong enough, I can see memories."

Irina could feel the cold creeping into her body. "Erik...he's dead."

"I'm sorry." Her bottom lip trembled. "I...I saw what happened to him. I saw what happened to your mother. I'm just...I'm so sorry." A quiet sob escaped her. "It hurts to touch you."

My pain...it hurts her.

Irina went to release her hands but Anne stayed firm. "No." She stiffened her lower lip, eyes wet but filled with resolve. "You're hurting...you shouldn't go through it alone."

"Why do you care? I attacked you. I tried to kill you." Irina looked at her in disbelief. "I don't deserve your mercy."

"What you deserve is compassion," Anne murmured, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "What's your name?"

Compassion?

"Rina, I know you're hurting but-"

I hit her.

"Katrina! Stop!"

"She hit you!"

"She's just hurt, she doesn't mean it-"

My Bela showed me compassion, even when I didn't deserve it.

She almost sobbed.

But she let our mother die. Where was her compassion then?

"I know you're thirsty, and I know you're hurting, but do you think you could tell me your name?"

"Rina! I missed you!"

"Is it Rina?"

She blinked, focusing as best she could on what Anne was saying. "Irina."

"Irina. What a beautiful name." She murmured. "You're trying to bury your pain by inflicting it on others. But that's not you. And that's not right." She paused, looking away from her. "Your emotions...they reminded me of my sister."

Sister.

She blinked, staring off into the distance.

I have sisters. Treacherous ones. I wonder if her sister is any better.

Irina looked at her curiously. "Was it that girl that was with you?" She shook her head and Irina tried to meet her gaze. "Your sister's emotions...she's angry like I am?"

Anne was quiet for a moment before speaking. "She wants to inflict pain on those that have harmed us. She's...she's in a dark place."

The Volturi. My sisters.

"Why is that bad?" Irina asked. "She wants justice-"

"She wants revenge."

"They are one and the same."

She shook her head. "Justice is about restoring balance. Righting a wrong. But revenge...it corrodes you." Anne looked at her curiously. "Your mother was killed...do you mind if I ask why?"

She looked away from her, glaring down at her hands. "The Volturi came...accused her of breaking the law."

"Which law?"

Irina faltered, remembering blonde hair and red eyes.

"She...she created an immortal child."

The silence that followed was nearly deafening. Timidly, Irina looked up at Anne. The brunette was staring at her with wide eyes, a look of shock and horror had crossed her features, and Irina couldn't help but bare her teeth at her.

"That was...she was still a good mother! She turned him because he reminded her of her son! She didn't deserve to..." she trailed off, eyes filling with tears as she remembered the village.

Desecrated and bloodied.

Anne's gentle voice drew her back. "How many?"

"I...I don't know."

"You don't know? Or you don't want to think about it?" She ran her thumb across her knuckles. "Facing the truth...oftentimes it hurts more than believing a lie." Anne's eyes watered, no doubt burdened by Irina's emotions, but she refused to let go of the blonde. "Your mother was a good one, but she made a terrible mistake, and many died because of it."

No. She was betrayed. She was wrongfully killed-

"I saw what your sisters did."

Black eyes snapped upward, glaring into red ones. "Then you know that they're traitors!"

Anne released her hands, cupping her cheeks and staring into her eyes. Her gentleness was replaced with a firmness, a need to be heard, a need to be heeded.

"Irina." The blonde straightened slightly in attention. "Burying your pain with anger will solve nothing."

"How do you know?" She snapped, pulling away from her. "How could you possibly understand!"

"Because my sister is doing the same! And it has brought her nothing but misery!" Anne snarled, curling her hands into fists and glaring at the ground. "Let's say you get revenge on the Volturi. Let's say you get revenge on your sisters. Then what?" She challenged, "What are you going to do when you've unleashed all of your anger? What will be left for you when the rage is gone?"

"Irina, do not hold onto this pain. You'll only end up like me. And that's no way to live."

Irina stared at Anne blankly, unsure of how to answer. Because she hadn't thought that far ahead. She hadn't thought past being angry.

My mother tried to warn me.

Anne sighed, calming herself before she reached out and took Irina's hands in hers. "Your mother couldn't let go, and look what became of her."

She...she became obsessed. She hurt that baby. She hurt people.

"I know you feel betrayed by your sisters. But think of how they feel."

She hurt my sisters.

"Against their will, they had a hand in her death." Anne looked at her with sad, red eyes. "And they lost their mother too."

Irina's eyes watered, and she bowed her head in shame.

She hurt my sisters. And she hurt me.

Anne embraced her, holding her tight as she began to sob. "I fear that it's too late for my own sister." She whispered, stroking Irina's hair as the blonde buried her face into her shoulder. "I'm so scared that she's lost her way...I'm so scared that I failed her." Irina pulled away, stifling her sobs in order to reassure Anne, but the brunette shook her head. "It might be too late for her...but it's not too late for you."

Anne reminded her so much of Bela that it made her heartache.

How can you be so kind to me when I've been so terrible?

A soft kiss was pressed to her forehead. "You remind me so much of Victoria." Loving, red eyes gazed at her, as though she were all that mattered. "She was a sweet girl...and then…" Anne trailed off before shaking her head. "Everything I wasn't able to do for her, I'll do for you."

But why?

She supposed kind people didn't need reasons to be kind. That's just who they were.

"T-Thank you." Irina stammered, rubbing her eyes and leaning into Anne's comfort.

For a moment she couldn't feel the cold. She couldn't feel the void that her maker had left behind. Irina knew the relief was temporary, but as Anne held her even tighter, she noticed that she felt warmer than the rage had ever made her feel.

Noela returned with three deceased humans and Irina drank from them greedily. The black haired girl still watched her distrustfully, but she noticed that her glare softened when Irina thanked her and apologized for the attack.

"Whatever. Just don't do it again." She responded gruffly, reminding her somewhat of Katrina.

Irina couldn't help but smile when she noticed Noela wrap herself around Anne. The brunette pressed a kiss to the brawler's lips, making the black haired vampire perk up with a bright smile.

"Thank you for helping me take care of her," Anne said, making Noela roll her eyes, though her smile remained.

"I was doing it for you. Not her."

"Noela."

She sighed, sparing a glance at Irina before looking back up at Anne. "Fine. I'm...glad I was able to help." She muttered, earning her another kiss. Irina thinks that, if Noela were human, her cheeks would be burning red.

Tough warriors with their soft-hearted mates.

It made her long even more deeply for a mate of her own.

"How long have you two been mated?" She asked after she had finished feeding.

Noela seemed bothered by the question but Anne speaks for her. "We don't have a mate bond, but we've been mates for a few years now."

Irina blinked up at her. "You...you can do that?"

"Of course you can!" Noela snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't need a bond to tell me that I love Anne."

Hearing that gives Irina hope. "Oh. Well, I think that's very beautiful."

Anne beams at her while Noela looks at her in surprise. "Uh...thanks." She grumbled but seemed pleased by Irina's approval.

I don't need the mate bond to find a mate. I can still find love. I can still be loved.

No longer starving, Irina was able to think clearly for the first time in days. She knew she should return home to her sisters, but the shame of her behavior and her actions held her back.

The pain in Bela's gold eyes had hurt her more than she realized.

She protected me...and I threatened to kill her. She protected me and I hurt her.

She thinks of Katrina standing over her, looking at her as though she truly were a monster.

I'm not a monster. Anne reminded me of that.

Irina looked down at her hands.

But what I said was monstrous. What I did was monstrous. How can I face them now?

"If you're not ready to go home, maybe you would like to stay with us for a little while?" Anne offered, but Irina shook her head.

"I think I just need to...be alone for a little while. I need to sort my thoughts and...I need to embrace my hurt instead of trying to run from it." Irina sighed. "I need to redeem myself before I go home." She hesitated when she noticed the mud that clumped in her long, silvery locks. "Actually, before I go, would you cut my hair?"

AN: 57k you can just let me die.

ALSO THANKS FOR THE 1000 FOLLOWS LETS GO LESBIANS (AND CO.) LETS GO!

Poorly edited please I tried so hard.

Sorry for the sad chapter it'll get better I swear...aha. Spoiler: Happy Ending.

Next chapter has a huge focus on Volturi work that the Denali's dooooo. Also more present stuff too as they get ready to fight Victoria and co.

Yes I gave Victoria a backstory, no I'm not sorry because like, IDK I love her or whatever.

Carmen hating children? Hell yeah. Eleazar being a little shit? Hell yeah. Tatyana roasting infants? Hell yeah. Angry Bella? Hell yeah? But also... :(

Senna and Tanya have my whole heart.

Addy437: I see it stomp on my heart with angst day, my poor beans. See this is why people call me a sadomasachist.

Muahahahahaha. You deserve it for all your LAME nicknames!

Karmaaaaaaa: If I could snort/inject this somehow I would be way happier with life! This is amazing I'm screaming crying shaking

I'm cackling pls I wanna give you a hug this is so cute. I'm glad you like it enough to snort/inject it XD

madisonjordan252525 I'll have you know I am a PROUD hungry homo
It look me so long just to read 10 chapters… I LOVE IT

I'm glad you're a proud hungry hungry homo XD I'm glad you love it! I love you!

Okay uhhhhh yes leave reviews, I have a large furry son to feed!