Chapter 3

Oh shit. I'm dead. Maybe it's not too late to start praying to Jesus and Moses.

"Cohen!" Summer slapped me over the head. "Why didn't you call me last night?" She demanded.

I grabbed my Biology book and closed my locker. "I was…uh, at an appointment. You know, with Dr. Shrimper-…erus." I smiled at her. Summer whacked me over the head again and threw her hands on her hip. "Ow." I rubbed my head. "Now I know what's been causing these massive headaches."

"Liar. You forgot!"

"I'm playing hard to get. Sue me."

"That's my job, Cohen."

"Right you are." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her in. "And might I add, you're doing a splendid job at it?"

"Whatever." She sighed. "So, tonight are you still coming?"

"Yeah…tonight…of course. Wouldn't miss it." I baffled on. Where? No idea. Not a clue. I believe now is the right time to start praying.

"Oh and please, wear something nice." The bell rang and Summer kissed me on the cheek. "See you at lunch."

"Wait!" I stopped her. "Something nice? What's that supposed to me?" I asked.

"Don't look like the dork you are, Cohen. I love it, but my dad already thinks you're a little coo-coo."

"Right, dinner with your dad tonight. Wear something nice. Got it. I'll wear my best suit, though maybe my third best suit." I explained to her. "I don't want you ruining my best suit for when you have the sudden urge to rip it off and have wild sex with me on your dinner table."

Summer shook her head and walked away.

"I mean it Summer!" I shouted out to her. "No sex in the champagne room!"

"Mr. Cohen, get to class!" Dr. Kim ordered, walking out of her office.

Summer turned the corner and I grinned at Dr. Kim. "Chris Rock. You gotta love him."

"To class, Mr. Cohen."

I nodded and scurried off to my Biology class.

I took my seat and opened my Biology book. It was only ten seconds later until I heard the voice.

"Hi Seth." Taylor smiled at me and then took a seat next to me. "So, Seth, I was thinking that for our project we should do sex-linked genes and disorders."

"Oh, uh, I'm actually partnered up with Yane."

Taylor laughed. "You mean, the weird Chinese guy that sits in the back of the class and doesn't know how to speak English properly?" I smiled and nodded. "No worries. I asked Mr. Sanders if we could be paired up. Yane's with someone else now. So should we go for the sex-linked genes and disorders?"

"Well, actually I was kind of thinking of going more on something about bacteria...Flesh eating disorder." I explained to her. "Maybe, uh, maybe cannibalism."

Taylor laughed, reached forward and touched my knee. "You're so funny, Seth. Well, even if you wanted to do something else, it won't happen because I already told the teacher we were doing sex-linked genes and disorders."

"Great." I forced a smile and turned back to my biology book. Summer is going to kill me. Sure, Taylor had confessed and told Summer she was no longer in love with me. But she did touch my knee and she does want to talk sex with me. In some ways or another. Sex is sex. We all know that.

Class started and before I knew it, the day had passed by very quickly. I was now in my last period – History with Ryan, thank god, and we were sitting next to each other.

History is over. This is boring. I ripped a piece of paper out from my binder and wrote down, 'Kill me.' I then passed it over to Ryan.

Ryan shook his head and wrote something down. I looked at the paper and it said, '1380 seconds left. Relax'. I scribbled down, 'I need more weed at this rate', then passed it back to him and he laughed quietly. 1320 seconds left, I calculated in my head. I haven't had a joint for over 16 hours now and it was killing me. When did I become so addicted to weed? I didn't know weed was addictive. Maybe there was some kind of chemical in it, like tobacco or cocaine. No not cocaine. I would be too fucked up smoking weed laced with cocaine. But then again, how would I know, I've never tried cocaine…not that I would ever try it. Ever.

"Mr. Cohen!" The teacher yelled at me.

I awoke from my thoughts. "Huh?" Everyone laughed and Ryan shook his head.

"The answer, Mr. Cohen is…?" Ms. Angler waited.

The answer is, I have no idea if weed is addictive or not. And I've come to the conclusion that I will never try cocaine.

"Yes. The answer is yes." I said, proudly.

"Yes?" She questioned, getting frustrated now.

"Yes…" I looked down at my notes, "The great depression…" I looked up, "Was a very depressing time, uh, in the, um…great depression."

"Not working, Seth." Ryan mumbled.

"Mr. Cohen, you can take the great depression," And shove it up my ass? "And wait for me outside the classroom." Holy shit, this is my first time getting kicked out of class. Well, besides the time in preschool where I glued my hands together.

I got out of my seat and made my way out of the classroom, where I then waited for Ms. Angler.

"Read pages 458 – 511." I heard Ms. Angler say. She then walked out of the classroom and closed the door behind her. "Seth Cohen, do we have a problem?"

I shook my head. "No problem. I wasn't listening and I apologize." I said, genuinely.

Ms. Angler folded her arms over her chest. "I hate to tell you, but I'm afraid you're a little behind in class. We're on Japanese-American Internment: The Bill of Rights in Crisis."

I nodded. Of course we are.

"But if you insist on talking about the great depression, I wouldn't mind a paper on it in my mail box tomorrow morning."

So, I dug a hole with a K-Mart pre-school shovel – and it was pink. How the hell am I going to find time to write a paper on some stupid event in history and go to Summer's for dinner? I'm a super hero.

I nodded.

"Good."

After Ms. Angler left me high and dry in the hallway, I walked back into class and took a seat.

"Twenty bucks?" I pleaded. Ryan shook his head. "Okay, thirty and I'll throw in a pack of hubabuba bubble gum."

"No, Seth. I'm doing your essay. You're lazy."

Okay, so maybe I'm not a super hero, but I'm sure that for a moment you thought I was. And that my friends, is what really counts.

"Fifty?" I got down on my knees. For the love of God…and me.

"You just had to talk about the great depression!"

I jumped up. "Dude, is that a yes. You'll do it?"

Ryan shrugged. "As long as the fifty comes with the gum."

"Deal!" I opened my wallet and gave him a fifty. "And the gum is in the kitchen. Mom keeps some in the fridge."

Ryan punched my arm.

"Weird, I know." I rubbed my arm. "Mom loves it cold."

"Okay, now get out." He ordered, opening the poolhouse door.