I woke up this morning with Robert Palmer's 1985 hit song Addicted to Love stuck in my head. I couldn't fall asleep again, so I wrote it into a one-shot about Eric falling in love in a variation of the Divergent cannon universe. Enjoy!
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"Dude! Eric!" The voice of my buddy and co-leader, Blaze, cuts into my wandering thoughts.
"Huh?" I grunt.
"Your lights are on, man, but you're not home," he teases me. "What were you thinking so hard about that it took me ten minutes to get your attention?"
"It did not take ten minutes," I growl, calling out his exaggeration. "I'm just… I guess I don't really feel good. Maybe I'm coming down with something."
"I guess," he concedes. "You've hardly touched your dinner."
I shrug. He doesn't know the half of it. I can't sleep at night, either, and sometimes I feel like I can't breathe.
My breathe catches and one of those oxygen-deprived moments begins when the cafeteria doors open and she walks in. Tris. The little stiff transfer initiate who was first jumper. She has been here for three whole days, but she's already messed up my world.
I thought I was immune to all that mushy romantic stuff, but this girl is different. I'm addicted to the very sight of her, and I feel like I'm drowning between fixes.
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Holy shit. Oh my god. Holy-
What did I do?
I kissed an initiate.
This isn't supposed to happen. I could lose my job. She could be made factionless. I wasn't thinking! What did I do?
She makes me crazy! She's crazy brave, and her stupid coward of a friend mouthed off to me about knife throwing. I couldn't put up with that! Apparently neither could Tris. She went all Abnegation-selfless and stood up for him. I had no choice but to have Four throw the knives at her.
The fire in her eyes while she stood there and let the knives fly… It was intense, and so beautiful. I was instantly addicted to that fire. Without thinking I sent everyone but her out of the room.
I stalked toward her, projecting all the confidence I could muster, but inside I was a mess. I was afraid she was angry with me and I'd ruined my chance with her. I worried about the cut on her ear and if she was in pain. I was utterly terrified, but I took one look at the defiant set of her chin and the fire in her eyes, and my brain just… left the party.
I kissed her.
Her lips were soft, and tasted faintly of some fruity lip balm.
My heart beat in double time. The kiss was short, and so sweet, but it left me breathless, and left Tris stunned.
Then her cheeks flushed. And her neck. She dropped her gaze and even the tips of her ears flushed adorably pink.
Did she like it? Hate it? That was probably her first kiss. Was she embarrassed? Scared? Happy? I didn't know, but I couldn't take the rejection.
I quickly planted a kiss to the top of her head while giving her shoulders a little squeeze.
"Go get lunch and be back here at one," I said in a softer version of my leader voice.
I can't do this yet, but I sure hope I didn't scare her away.
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I want to kiss her again. I need to kiss her again. That was the greatest moment of my life, but the aftermath has been torture.
Did she like it? Does she like me? Was she appalled? Is she avoiding me? She blushes every time she looks at me. Is that good or bad?
If we could have another kiss - another moment - I think I could make her mine. It's my new mantra; it gives me hope.
Another kiss and you'll be mine.
I'm beyond help, like a crazy person. My mind whips back and forth between hope and fear. Max is becoming impatient with my lack of focus. Jeanine is being a bitch pushing me to help with her obsessive divergent hunt. I agree to appease them, but more so to be able to be there for Tris while she's in fear sims.
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Shit.
She's divergent.
I was supposed to wait until after initiation to declare myself, but this changes things. Her life is in danger. I need to teach her to hide what she is. I need to keep her safe.
"We need to talk," I say quietly as I escort her out of the smoke-filled sim room.
Having to replace that computer won't come cheap, but replacing her would be impossible.
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My heart sweats and teeth grind as I watch Tris go through her final fear landscape in front of the leaders.
Just like we practiced, I will her.
Another kiss and you'll be mine.
It's not that I doubt her, I'm just terrified for her - for us. I took her through Lauren's fears that we use in training so many times that she was almost too good. But these aren't Lauren's fears, they're Tris' own worst-case scenarios, and some of them are new to her. There's a chance that blind panic will trip her up and she'll do whatever she can to get out of it - even if it gives away her divergence.
Another kiss and you'll be mine.
If she has an unexpectedly high number of fears (which I highly doubt) and they make her factionless, I'm going too.
Another kiss and you'll be mine.
If she gives herself away as a divergent and Jeanine tries to take her, I will fight to my last breath to prevent it.
Another kiss and you'll be mine.
If she makes it we will work together to expose Jeanine, end the divergent hunts, and get the city back on track.
Another kiss and you'll be mine.
The timer stopped, and I see Tris blinking as she regains awareness.
Wow.
Six fears, and she handled them all quickly and dauntlessly.
She's incredible.
She catches my eye as Four escorts her out, and I give her a subtle nod. She did it.
"Damn," I say to the other leaders. "I think I'm in love."
They chuckle, but I'm not joking. I managed to stay professional when I was helping Tris prepare, but I think she knows how I feel. And she either returns my feelings or she played along because I was helping her stay safe.
Shit. What if she was just using me? I think I'm going to be sick.
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At dinner I give the prescribed graduation speech around the lump that has taken up residence in my throat.
People will do anything to stay alive - even use a guy's feelings.
Graduation is one of the best meals of the year in Dauntless, but to me it tastes like nothing but ash. I give up after a few bites.
"Quit being such a pansycake," Blaze says so only I can hear. "I know you weren't actually joking in there. And judging by how our first-ranked initiate keeps looking at you, I think she's on board."
My head pops up, and sure enough, Tris is staring at me. She blushes, and I smirk. Blaze laughs.
Another kiss and you'll be mine.
I'm trying to work up the courage to go to Tris, but it's awfully public here in the cafeteria. Then I lose my chance as the other initiates - now new members - drag her out of the cafeteria.
I don't know what to do, so I dump my tray and wander out.
In the hall I take a left toward my apartment, lost in my thoughts of Tris. I wonder how her friends will dress her for the big party tonight. Maybe I can dance with her or we can get a drink together.
Suddenly a hand shoots out from a hallway alcove and grabs my arm. I spin to face my assailant when a pair of soft lips fuse to mine. Fruity lip balm. Anxious blue-grey eyes.
I wrap my arms around Tris and return her kiss with fervor.
"I'm addicted," she sighs, making me smile.
"Me too," I agree before going in for another kiss.
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Might as well face it, you're addicted to love.