Losing Control / 2
///My eyes are shaking///
///My hands are trembling///
///My heart is aching///
///I am losing control///
///Tears of Griever///
The smell of cafeteria lunch entered my nostrils as I walked into the giant room packed with hundreds of students. Lunchtime wasn't exactly the best for me. Too many people around me made me felt powerless and caged. Waiting in the lunchroom, I saw Zell bouncing his way towards me with a grin smacked down onto his face.
"They are serving hotdogs!"
Was the first thing he said to me that day. Standing next to me in line, he eyed me suspiciously.
"What happened to you? You look more pissed off than usual."
"Whatever."
"Oh yeah, did you see the new teacher? The tall blond guy with the scary green eyes."
"I had him first period."
I could feel my anger stir inside me as I was reminded of that arrogant bastard. Why did he have to pick on me out of the 32 students in the entire classroom?
"Well, I saw these girls completely falling in love with him or something. Don't you think that's kinda nasty? Falling in love with your teacher?"
"It happens."
But inside, I pitied the girls for falling in love with him. I mean, yeah, this school may have limited number of good-looking guys, but a biology teacher? What were they going to talk about when they actually dated the teacher? Cell membrane and the nitrogen cycle?
Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce Zell. He is one of the few friends I have. Jumpy and happy most of the time, he gets along well with a lot of people. He also has this weird obsession over hotdogs, although I personally do not enjoy them on my lunch plate.
"Hey Squally!"
I was slowly growing distaste towards my own name. By adding a -y at the end, people pissed me off effortlessly. I knew whom the voice belonged to. Jake. He must have come back to taunt me since he wasn't finished with me this morning. As always, I ignored him and focused my eyes onto the progress of the line.
His hands were on my shoulders, but I refused to meet his eyes. I was too tired to go through the same daily routine again. Zell opened his mouth to protest, but put my hand up to silence him. He understood immediately and stood quiet, waiting grimly for a punch or two.
"Let's take this somewhere a little more private."
I closed my eyes briefly, my muscles anticipating for what was going to happen soon. I went through this so often, it didn't scare me anymore, but my body reacted to it against my will. I tagged along after Jake and his gang to the men's room. Two of them were stationed at the door to ward people off if they tried to enter the bathroom.
A dull thump rang in my ears as I made a sudden direct contact with the wall. Jake was a few good inches taller than I was, and his pounds were much higher than mine. After all, he was the football player and the school bully. That kind of reputation doesn't come from nothing.
"If you weren't so fucking pretty, I would've ruined your face a long time ago."
I only glared back at him, trying my best to stop my muscles from shaking. He wore a satisfied grin on his face as he forced my shirt off of my body. I squirmed in protest, not wanting this anymore, but the more I moved, the grip around me tightened.
His thick fingers slithered across my waist, but I wasn't able to do anything. All I could do was hope that my eyes wouldn't shed the tears forcing their ways out. Crying in front of my enemy was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't want to look vulnerable.
I closed my eyes as I felt my pants unzip and impatiently pulled off. The only thing left on my body, the boxers, were roughly tugged off just as quickly, leaving me completely exposed. His mouth was stationed at my neck, sucking the soft patches roughly.
"Let.go.of me."
I managed to hiss out before he delivered a strong slap across my cheek.
"Shut up, you whore."
I shut my eyes tightly, the burning sensation throughout my body eventually turning into a dull numbness. I didn't let out a cry of defeat or a pitiful whimper. Instead, I kept silence as his body tore me apart from the inside. I kept telling myself the pain was nothing. I whispered to myself that I should be used to it.
My eyes burned as he left, leaving me on the cold floor, completely naked. I couldn't move myself to sit up and I wanted to just sleep there or better, die. After a few minutes, I was able to gather my strength to pick my clothes off the floor, glad that it wasn't ripped or anything.
I glanced at the clock on the wall, noting that the red numbers showed that I still had a few minutes to compose myself. I wanted to wash myself and go to sleep, but I couldn't.instead, I leaned my body against the wall and cried to myself, letting the anger out. It was all I could do to comfort myself.
Even my tears seemed unreal.
As I tried to stand up, I was met with a sharp pain in my waist. That bastard had no idea how hard it was to walk after that. Not that he cared. I found myself on the cold tiled floor again, unable to stand up. I didn't know why, but what Jake did to me today seemed to do more damage to me than usual.
The bell rang, but I didn't care. Even if I cared, I wouldn't be able to get up anyway. Sitting on the bathroom floor, I emptied my head, trying to clear it. Then I could feel a strong iciness enveloping me, but the coldness seemed to provide comfort.
I laughed quietly to myself. Even in a situation like this, I was laughing.
Finally managing to stand on my feet again, I stumbled to the mirror, making sure that the marks he left me didn't show. I covered my neck the best as I could with the jacket. I gasped silently when I heard the bathroom door swing open.
From the mirror, I could see a tall man walk in, whistling a tune to himself. It was the new teacher.
/////////////////////
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///My eyes are shaking///
///My hands are trembling///
///My heart is aching///
///I am losing control///
///Tears of Griever///
The smell of cafeteria lunch entered my nostrils as I walked into the giant room packed with hundreds of students. Lunchtime wasn't exactly the best for me. Too many people around me made me felt powerless and caged. Waiting in the lunchroom, I saw Zell bouncing his way towards me with a grin smacked down onto his face.
"They are serving hotdogs!"
Was the first thing he said to me that day. Standing next to me in line, he eyed me suspiciously.
"What happened to you? You look more pissed off than usual."
"Whatever."
"Oh yeah, did you see the new teacher? The tall blond guy with the scary green eyes."
"I had him first period."
I could feel my anger stir inside me as I was reminded of that arrogant bastard. Why did he have to pick on me out of the 32 students in the entire classroom?
"Well, I saw these girls completely falling in love with him or something. Don't you think that's kinda nasty? Falling in love with your teacher?"
"It happens."
But inside, I pitied the girls for falling in love with him. I mean, yeah, this school may have limited number of good-looking guys, but a biology teacher? What were they going to talk about when they actually dated the teacher? Cell membrane and the nitrogen cycle?
Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce Zell. He is one of the few friends I have. Jumpy and happy most of the time, he gets along well with a lot of people. He also has this weird obsession over hotdogs, although I personally do not enjoy them on my lunch plate.
"Hey Squally!"
I was slowly growing distaste towards my own name. By adding a -y at the end, people pissed me off effortlessly. I knew whom the voice belonged to. Jake. He must have come back to taunt me since he wasn't finished with me this morning. As always, I ignored him and focused my eyes onto the progress of the line.
His hands were on my shoulders, but I refused to meet his eyes. I was too tired to go through the same daily routine again. Zell opened his mouth to protest, but put my hand up to silence him. He understood immediately and stood quiet, waiting grimly for a punch or two.
"Let's take this somewhere a little more private."
I closed my eyes briefly, my muscles anticipating for what was going to happen soon. I went through this so often, it didn't scare me anymore, but my body reacted to it against my will. I tagged along after Jake and his gang to the men's room. Two of them were stationed at the door to ward people off if they tried to enter the bathroom.
A dull thump rang in my ears as I made a sudden direct contact with the wall. Jake was a few good inches taller than I was, and his pounds were much higher than mine. After all, he was the football player and the school bully. That kind of reputation doesn't come from nothing.
"If you weren't so fucking pretty, I would've ruined your face a long time ago."
I only glared back at him, trying my best to stop my muscles from shaking. He wore a satisfied grin on his face as he forced my shirt off of my body. I squirmed in protest, not wanting this anymore, but the more I moved, the grip around me tightened.
His thick fingers slithered across my waist, but I wasn't able to do anything. All I could do was hope that my eyes wouldn't shed the tears forcing their ways out. Crying in front of my enemy was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't want to look vulnerable.
I closed my eyes as I felt my pants unzip and impatiently pulled off. The only thing left on my body, the boxers, were roughly tugged off just as quickly, leaving me completely exposed. His mouth was stationed at my neck, sucking the soft patches roughly.
"Let.go.of me."
I managed to hiss out before he delivered a strong slap across my cheek.
"Shut up, you whore."
I shut my eyes tightly, the burning sensation throughout my body eventually turning into a dull numbness. I didn't let out a cry of defeat or a pitiful whimper. Instead, I kept silence as his body tore me apart from the inside. I kept telling myself the pain was nothing. I whispered to myself that I should be used to it.
My eyes burned as he left, leaving me on the cold floor, completely naked. I couldn't move myself to sit up and I wanted to just sleep there or better, die. After a few minutes, I was able to gather my strength to pick my clothes off the floor, glad that it wasn't ripped or anything.
I glanced at the clock on the wall, noting that the red numbers showed that I still had a few minutes to compose myself. I wanted to wash myself and go to sleep, but I couldn't.instead, I leaned my body against the wall and cried to myself, letting the anger out. It was all I could do to comfort myself.
Even my tears seemed unreal.
As I tried to stand up, I was met with a sharp pain in my waist. That bastard had no idea how hard it was to walk after that. Not that he cared. I found myself on the cold tiled floor again, unable to stand up. I didn't know why, but what Jake did to me today seemed to do more damage to me than usual.
The bell rang, but I didn't care. Even if I cared, I wouldn't be able to get up anyway. Sitting on the bathroom floor, I emptied my head, trying to clear it. Then I could feel a strong iciness enveloping me, but the coldness seemed to provide comfort.
I laughed quietly to myself. Even in a situation like this, I was laughing.
Finally managing to stand on my feet again, I stumbled to the mirror, making sure that the marks he left me didn't show. I covered my neck the best as I could with the jacket. I gasped silently when I heard the bathroom door swing open.
From the mirror, I could see a tall man walk in, whistling a tune to himself. It was the new teacher.
/////////////////////
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