She handed him the notepad and pencil, and headed for the closet. Pulling on a robe, she tied it and headed downstairs.
-----
When Woman shooed him out of the living room, Paul Anka had barely enough stamina left to drag his tired body into the kitchen. This had been, without a doubt, the busiest day of his life. Paul Anka panted, looking at his bowls. Hopefully the water was fresh. Woman sometimes forgot. Luckily, she had Man around. Man, though he acted as if he didn't care for him, actually took good care of his needs. For example, he often sneaked specially cooked meats to him behind Woman's back, and told him never to let Woman know.
There was only one thing he didn't like about Man. When Man and Woman slept together, they usually allowed him to sleep next to them, on the big comfy bed on the floor. But several times a week, Man would remove him from the room. He didn't quite understand why. He did once hear Man explain to Woman that "I don't want to worry about that dog biting me in the ass while we're…you know…" and another time, Man said, "I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it while he's watching." Paul Anka had no idea what Man meant. On those nights, Paul Anka made his way downstairs and curled up on the couch.
Like tonight. After he ate and drank, he plodded back into the living room to find that Man and Woman were gone. So he curled up, patiently waiting for Woman (it was always her, not Man) to summon him upstairs.
Paul Anka really loved Woman. For the first time in his life, he'd met his equal. She understood him, at least as well as any human could understand a dog. For one thing, she changed his name. Cocoa. What were his mean previous humans thinking? He wasn't even brown! He actually liked the name Paul Anka. People who talked to Woman when she took him outside always said interesting things about the name, and some even sang a song. Something about love and puppies.
When they first met, Paul Anka was traumatized. He'd been rescued but what good was a rescue when you were stuck in a cage? Then Woman saw him and took him home. He liked her house--there were no cats, no birds, no annoying rodents. Only Woman and Man.
When he got there, the first thing he did was subject Woman to his usual suite of tests. He always tested a new human, figuring that if they passed, he belonged there. No one had ever passed his tests.
First, he ignored all the toys that Woman had bought. Next, he pretended to be scared of many of the things in the house: tissue holders, paperbacks, CDs, framed pictures, and lint.
And the best test? He liked to wait until the human did something really human and then pretend to go crazy. For Woman, he waited until she drank something. And Woman passed the test! The first to do so! She picked him up and rocked him until he pretended to calm down. He liked that. He also saw Woman do that to Man, a lot--holding Man and calming him down and he saw Man do that to Woman too.
But tonight was the busiest and strangest night of his life. The evening started out with a lovely walk with Woman. Woman let him cross the big grassy place where she'd first met him. He almost didn't mind the leash when she was so nice to him. And then he went with her to a big scary place with lots of people. The weird people he'd sometimes meet when he left the house were all there. And he'd sensed danger. His fore-dogs were all Polish Lowland Sheepdogs and he knew how to protect cute cuddly things. And he did his best to protect Woman: growling and leaping, running off to cause a distraction.
When he ran, a Girl saw him. She was nice. She played with him and ran after him, but this caused Man to become very scared. And Man chased them and brought them both back. Woman said she was going home, and he was left with Man and Girl and Other Woman, a female who had come up yelling at them. He'd been scared but Man seemed to know Other Woman, so Paul Anka felt better.
Other Woman got really angry, the way humans do, with Man. It seemed like Other Woman did not like Woman. That made him angry and he growled at Other Woman. Girl came up to him and was asking him questions that he really couldn't answer. Like who his mother and father were, and she used the word 'breed' a lot. Girl also mentioned something called a Universal Translator and wondered if it would work for dogs.
Man really liked Girl. Paul Anka could tell because he spoke to Girl as nicely as he spoke to Woman. Man asked Other Woman to not be angry in front of Girl. Paul Anka also liked that. Some of the people in the big room came out, and were bothering Man. Man told them to leave him and Woman and Girl alone. Man then asked Other Woman to take Girl home and said he would call Other Woman later.
Then Man petted him, and said he was a very good dog and that Woman would be worried about both of them. Man saw that he was tired, and picked him up and carried him almost all the way home. When they got home, they were both so happy to see Woman. And Woman certainly seemed happy to see them. She spent a lot of time running her fingers through his fur, before she sent him off to the kitchen.
And now, as it was well into nighttime, Paul Anka lay curled up on the living room couch. He couldn't wait to go upstairs to sleep next to the bed that Man and Woman slept in. Since they'd come home, it had been quiet except for a few times when he heard Woman make sounds. He was used to those sounds. He only heard them when she and Man were alone in the bedroom, and he wasn't worried because Woman always was so happy afterwards. And Man? Even happier.
He heard a door open, and pretended not to look. It wouldn't do to seem too eager. In less than the time it took him to scratch his ear, Woman came down the stairs and walked over to him. She was very happy.
"Come on, Paul Anka," she said in her perkiest voice, "Let's go have a treat!" She pulled on his collar and he rolled off the couch (he did have a busy evening and needed to conserve his energy!) and together they went into the kitchen.
"Quite a night, huh?" she remarked as she handed him his favorite treat. "Mommy's so sorry for putting you through that town meeting. Believe me, I had no idea…"
Woman got herself a slice of pizza and heated it, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Mommy's got to make her own list." Paul Anka couldn't see what she was doing, but it didn't take long. She then got up and pressed the special talking button in the hall.
Paul Anka recognized Sugar-Toe Girl's voice. "Mom? It's Rory. I tried calling you on your cell, but it was busy all night. Give me a call tomorrow, 'K? Nothing bad. Nothing good either. Just wanted to see how you and Luke are doing."
"My phone!" Woman exclaimed, startling Paul Anka.
Phone. That was one of the items Paul Anka sometimes pretended to be scared of. He watched as Woman looked for it.
Paul Anka decided to do Woman a special favor, since she had been through that busy evening with him. He knew where the phone was.
A minute later, he came back, Woman's outer covering in his mouth.
Woman reached down and took it, then exclaimed "Paul Anka! You found my phone! In my pocket!"
------
Lorelai held the phone in her hand. She looked at the last number dialed. Speed dial number seven. She looked down at Paul Anka, who lay curled at her feet. And back at the phone. And then at her jacket. And then back at Paul Anka. And she smiled.
"C'mon, come upstairs with Mommy and Daddy."
"Jeez, Lorelai, I hate it when you act like that dog's your baby," Luke called down.
"Hey Hon, you want anything from downstairs? Glass of water?"
"Nope, I'm good," Luke hollered back. "Turn off all the lights, will ya?"
"Sure!" she called up the stairs.
-----
Next: Lorelai's list has two things on it. What about Luke's?