Losing Control / 5
///As much as I want to be free///
///I don't want the walls to go///
/////////////
I was ready to go to sleep when he demanded: "Tell me about yourself."
Sitting on his bed, in his PJs, and resting my head on his pillow, I stared at him quietly, not sure of what to do. I could ignore his question as I often did, or I could talk to him. I didn't want him to know too much about me because I was scared of what he would think of me.
"It's OK. You can tell me."
I didn't know what made him think he was special enough to know everything about me. I wanted my life secluded from the rest of the world, and by opening up to him, I felt as if I was being invaded.
But his eyes were different.
He looked into my eyes as if searching for something, but I wasn't able to escape his gaze. I found myself opening my mouth to say something.
"Ask me."
There was a faint smile playing on his lips. I watched carefully as he brought his fingers to his chin in a thinking position.
"Tell me about your family."
"I don't have a family."
There was a silence as Seifer's face flushed with guilt. He whispered that he was sorry as if he made me terribly sad, but I wasn't. It almost seemed natural that I didn't have parent, cause during my entire life, I felt alone in this world. I waited for another question.
"What do you like?"
That question stumped me. What did I like? What did I like doing? Then I realized that my life has been empty and I was living without anything to live for. The past years have been hollow and wasted. Seifer must have sensed the confusion in my eyes because he started talking.
"Well, I like watching movies and teaching. Watching the students grow and change over time.I think it's the most rewarding thing. I like the color silver and red and I love dogs."
I didn't know if it was me or if there was a sudden twinkle in his eyes as he spoke. He was so different from me that I wasn't sure if he was from the same world as I was. He leaned towards me, causing the bed to rock a little.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?"
I blinked at him.
"You know, what happened during lunch? Well, you did kind of tell me, but.."
"Nothing happened other than what you already know."
"Then why did you faint back in the classroom?"
Either he had to be a curious idiot or a persistent bastard to ask me these questions. I didn't want to talk about it so I closed my eyes and waited for him to leave.
"Good night."
I could feel his fingers brushing my hair back before sleep took over my tired body.
~:+:~
Seifer's POV
During my short years of teaching, I came across hundreds of different students. Amongst them were trouble kids and the shy ones and every one of them made my life more interesting.
But for the first time in my life, I met a student so different from all of them, that he intrigued me. When I first walked into the classroom, his silence bothered me somewhat and before I knew it, I was picking on him. His blue gray eyes were almost lifeless and the only way I could provoke liveliness in him was by making him angry.
I didn't want to make anyone angry. It wasn't a thing a teacher should do to a student, but I did.
To me, he seemed like nothing more than a frail trouble student at first.
When I walked into the bathroom, I was horrified at the sight. His eyes were pained and his pale face wore a swelling bruise. His clothes were wrinkled and there were red patched all over his neck. I have seen students with bruises, but I have never seen a student like that before.
Walking up to him only made him angrier. When I held him, his eyes showed fear along with anger. He was wounded inside, so wounded that it pained me to watch him leave the bathroom. I was glad that I made him come to my class after school.
Something about him was different. He almost didn't seem real to me.
I watched in silence as Squall slept on my bed peacefully. His breathings were the only thing I could hear besides the beating of my heart. Trying my best not to wake him up, I ran my fingertips across his cheek and to my surprise, it felt as if I was touching a doll. So flawless, so smooth, his skin didn't seem as if it belonged to a human being, let alone a boy.
His lips parted as he mumbled incoherent words to himself. I wanted to know him better. I found it necessary to save this boy from despair. It was my duty as a teacher.
Then I felt stupid for being so naïve about life. While I complained about how I had too many tests to grade, Squall had to live through the nightmares I still don't know about. His body was abused and his mind was tired.
He was losing control.
//////
/////
I know.I know.it's crappy..I have been beyond busy this week. Please feed me reviews~~~!!! GAH~~~
///As much as I want to be free///
///I don't want the walls to go///
/////////////
I was ready to go to sleep when he demanded: "Tell me about yourself."
Sitting on his bed, in his PJs, and resting my head on his pillow, I stared at him quietly, not sure of what to do. I could ignore his question as I often did, or I could talk to him. I didn't want him to know too much about me because I was scared of what he would think of me.
"It's OK. You can tell me."
I didn't know what made him think he was special enough to know everything about me. I wanted my life secluded from the rest of the world, and by opening up to him, I felt as if I was being invaded.
But his eyes were different.
He looked into my eyes as if searching for something, but I wasn't able to escape his gaze. I found myself opening my mouth to say something.
"Ask me."
There was a faint smile playing on his lips. I watched carefully as he brought his fingers to his chin in a thinking position.
"Tell me about your family."
"I don't have a family."
There was a silence as Seifer's face flushed with guilt. He whispered that he was sorry as if he made me terribly sad, but I wasn't. It almost seemed natural that I didn't have parent, cause during my entire life, I felt alone in this world. I waited for another question.
"What do you like?"
That question stumped me. What did I like? What did I like doing? Then I realized that my life has been empty and I was living without anything to live for. The past years have been hollow and wasted. Seifer must have sensed the confusion in my eyes because he started talking.
"Well, I like watching movies and teaching. Watching the students grow and change over time.I think it's the most rewarding thing. I like the color silver and red and I love dogs."
I didn't know if it was me or if there was a sudden twinkle in his eyes as he spoke. He was so different from me that I wasn't sure if he was from the same world as I was. He leaned towards me, causing the bed to rock a little.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?"
I blinked at him.
"You know, what happened during lunch? Well, you did kind of tell me, but.."
"Nothing happened other than what you already know."
"Then why did you faint back in the classroom?"
Either he had to be a curious idiot or a persistent bastard to ask me these questions. I didn't want to talk about it so I closed my eyes and waited for him to leave.
"Good night."
I could feel his fingers brushing my hair back before sleep took over my tired body.
~:+:~
Seifer's POV
During my short years of teaching, I came across hundreds of different students. Amongst them were trouble kids and the shy ones and every one of them made my life more interesting.
But for the first time in my life, I met a student so different from all of them, that he intrigued me. When I first walked into the classroom, his silence bothered me somewhat and before I knew it, I was picking on him. His blue gray eyes were almost lifeless and the only way I could provoke liveliness in him was by making him angry.
I didn't want to make anyone angry. It wasn't a thing a teacher should do to a student, but I did.
To me, he seemed like nothing more than a frail trouble student at first.
When I walked into the bathroom, I was horrified at the sight. His eyes were pained and his pale face wore a swelling bruise. His clothes were wrinkled and there were red patched all over his neck. I have seen students with bruises, but I have never seen a student like that before.
Walking up to him only made him angrier. When I held him, his eyes showed fear along with anger. He was wounded inside, so wounded that it pained me to watch him leave the bathroom. I was glad that I made him come to my class after school.
Something about him was different. He almost didn't seem real to me.
I watched in silence as Squall slept on my bed peacefully. His breathings were the only thing I could hear besides the beating of my heart. Trying my best not to wake him up, I ran my fingertips across his cheek and to my surprise, it felt as if I was touching a doll. So flawless, so smooth, his skin didn't seem as if it belonged to a human being, let alone a boy.
His lips parted as he mumbled incoherent words to himself. I wanted to know him better. I found it necessary to save this boy from despair. It was my duty as a teacher.
Then I felt stupid for being so naïve about life. While I complained about how I had too many tests to grade, Squall had to live through the nightmares I still don't know about. His body was abused and his mind was tired.
He was losing control.
//////
/////
I know.I know.it's crappy..I have been beyond busy this week. Please feed me reviews~~~!!! GAH~~~