Losing Control / 6
///Behind me///
///The walls stop me///
///Before me///
///The walls block me///
///But behind the walls///
///You are standing///
/////
Squall's POV
I was glad to know that when I woke up, it was Saturday morning. I didn't have to go to school. I still felt like crap though, and the pain in my waist usually did go on for a long time. When I was off the bed and standing in the still foreign room, Seifer walked in with a grin on his face.
"Come on, breakfast is ready."
Why in the world was I here, in his house? Why did I not want to go back to my house? Why did I want to be with someone else and not alone?
The breakfast was spent in silence, Although I was eating, I didn't know what I was eating. I couldn't taste the food. After eating, Seifer sent me to the living room, where my backpack and my clothes were resting. I felt weak all of sudden and was overcome with the sudden urge to cry.
Resting my body against the sofa, I let the tears roll down silently. Fortunately, the rushing of the water from the faucet in the kitchen was able to hide the choked sobs.
I waited in the living room. Nothing went through my head, and I was relieved of the fact, since my head hurt too much to think. The new teacher soon followed me into the living room and placed himself next to me on the couch.
Before I could react to anything, he was holding me in his arms, cradling me as if I was a baby. As much as I wanted to push him away, my body wanted to rest in his warm embrace. His arms were reassuring and the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat calmed my body down. I was almost lost in his arms.
"Squall.will you let me help you?"
No. I wanted to shout, but I didn't feel the need to answer the question. He seemed to understand perfectly well that I needed help, although I hate to admit it.
I filled my lung with his scent, a mixture of airy manliness and light cologne. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand gently caressing my head, his fingers raking through my hair. I think I fell asleep in his arms because that was the latest memory when I opened my eyes again.
Seifer was sleeping and I was still in his arms, except we were both lying down on the couch. I found myself resting my head on his broad chest, unable to move. Whatever it was, he made me powerless. He drained all my energy, leaving me helpless in his arms.
I lifted my hand up slowly and allowed myself to touch his face. I wanted to check if everything now was real or not. As my fingers touched his soft cheek, I felt something stir inside me. Running my fingers down, I found his nose and his lips. They were so soft and moist, unlike mine, which were always ripped or swollen from the beatings.
"You can always ask me if you want to touch my face."
I withdrew my hands immediately as I heard his voice. I wasn't completely aware of what I was doing, but when I was, I wanted to die from the embarrassment. Seifer opened his eyes lazily and smiled sleepily. He gave me a gentle squeeze before sitting up.
"Why don't you do your homework? I will help you if you have any questions."
I nodded and walked over to my backpack. After taking out my bio textbook to review, I was met with Seifer sitting across from me.
"Good, you are studying biology!"
He smiled and scooted over next to me on the floor. He was so much bigger than I was and he almost cast a shadow by just sitting next to me.
"Can you help me with this? I don't get it."
I asked quietly, pointing to a section in the book I could not understand no matter how much I studied it. It was this section on human reproduction in details. I didn't really find interest in it, maybe that's why I didn't understand it.
Seifer explained the entire section without even looking at the book. He was kind enough to answer all my questions and after a long explanation, I finally understood everything.
"Seifer.why do people fall in love? When do you know if you want to be with someone? How can these people find each other to have babies?"
I was amazed at myself for talking this much in one day. He was looking at me with sadness in his eyes I could not understand. Why was he looking at me that way?
"Well, I think falling in love isn't something you control."
I felt his arms around my shoulders but I didn't protest. Whatever the reason was, I felt that I could trust him not to hurt me like Jake or everyone else.
"But, how do you know when you fall in love?"
"When you want to kiss the person."
Seifer grinned almost jokingly as he tightened his arms around me. I stared at him a little stupefied but soon regained my composure.
"I wonder what a kiss feels like."
I only whispered to myself, but he must have heard me. Seifer lowered his head towards mine.
"Don't tell me you never kissed before?"
I blushed and lowered my gaze, not wanting to meet his eyes. It was already embarrassing that he heard what I said, and the fact that he was leaning against me didn't help much. Without warning, he gently grabbed my chin and lifted my face up so I was staring into his eyes. The sincere jade green orbs.
My eyes widened when I realized that the distance between us were shortening slowly. His lips were inching towards mine, and all I could was say still, unable to do anything. Then, all of sudden, I was reminded of the incident yesterday with Jake. I tried to back away from him, but his other hand was holding me by the waist tightly.
"Shhh.don't be afraid. I won't hurt you, I promise."
The words provided only little comfort. No matter how much I wanted to believe in him, the past experiences brought stronger emotion into my body. Fear.
He captured the tiny space between us. His soft lips brushed against mine, sending an odd sensation through my body. I opened my mouth hesitantly, letting his tongue enter me and take me over. I was losing control of my body and all I could do at the moment was to close my eyes and feel through my lips.
Seifer broke the kiss after a while and he wrapped his arms completely around me, transferring his warmth to my body. We waited like in silence and stillness. Waiting for what, we didn't know.
I wondered why it felt so different. The way he held me and treated me didn't hurt me. I didn't know a touch could be so healing. For that short moment, I found myself devoid of all the anger and hatred. I felt safe and secure for once in my life. And I knew I could depend on him. I knew he wanted to help me, not harm me.
~:+:~
Seifer's POV
I didn't know whether I should be ashamed or glad. I kissed him without even realizing I was, and by the time my head was clear enough to understand what was going on, it was too late. I have done it, and I couldn't turn back time to change it.
All I intended to do was heal his wounds. I haven't known him long enough to understand him or know his past, but I did what I felt was right. I followed my instinct, simple as that.
To my surprise, other than the little protest in the beginning, Squall was still. Never in my life did I even dream of kissing another man, but I did. Although it wasn't a kiss provoked by true love, it was still a kiss.
He was so mysterious. I felt as if life was slowly seeping out of him and someone had to stop it. I wanted to be the someone to bring him back to the real world.
////////
///////
Reviews please~~~~
Oh yeah, and I have a question to ask you guys. Many of the reviews I got for chapter 5 got erased or something...did anyone experience the same thing?
///Behind me///
///The walls stop me///
///Before me///
///The walls block me///
///But behind the walls///
///You are standing///
/////
Squall's POV
I was glad to know that when I woke up, it was Saturday morning. I didn't have to go to school. I still felt like crap though, and the pain in my waist usually did go on for a long time. When I was off the bed and standing in the still foreign room, Seifer walked in with a grin on his face.
"Come on, breakfast is ready."
Why in the world was I here, in his house? Why did I not want to go back to my house? Why did I want to be with someone else and not alone?
The breakfast was spent in silence, Although I was eating, I didn't know what I was eating. I couldn't taste the food. After eating, Seifer sent me to the living room, where my backpack and my clothes were resting. I felt weak all of sudden and was overcome with the sudden urge to cry.
Resting my body against the sofa, I let the tears roll down silently. Fortunately, the rushing of the water from the faucet in the kitchen was able to hide the choked sobs.
I waited in the living room. Nothing went through my head, and I was relieved of the fact, since my head hurt too much to think. The new teacher soon followed me into the living room and placed himself next to me on the couch.
Before I could react to anything, he was holding me in his arms, cradling me as if I was a baby. As much as I wanted to push him away, my body wanted to rest in his warm embrace. His arms were reassuring and the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat calmed my body down. I was almost lost in his arms.
"Squall.will you let me help you?"
No. I wanted to shout, but I didn't feel the need to answer the question. He seemed to understand perfectly well that I needed help, although I hate to admit it.
I filled my lung with his scent, a mixture of airy manliness and light cologne. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand gently caressing my head, his fingers raking through my hair. I think I fell asleep in his arms because that was the latest memory when I opened my eyes again.
Seifer was sleeping and I was still in his arms, except we were both lying down on the couch. I found myself resting my head on his broad chest, unable to move. Whatever it was, he made me powerless. He drained all my energy, leaving me helpless in his arms.
I lifted my hand up slowly and allowed myself to touch his face. I wanted to check if everything now was real or not. As my fingers touched his soft cheek, I felt something stir inside me. Running my fingers down, I found his nose and his lips. They were so soft and moist, unlike mine, which were always ripped or swollen from the beatings.
"You can always ask me if you want to touch my face."
I withdrew my hands immediately as I heard his voice. I wasn't completely aware of what I was doing, but when I was, I wanted to die from the embarrassment. Seifer opened his eyes lazily and smiled sleepily. He gave me a gentle squeeze before sitting up.
"Why don't you do your homework? I will help you if you have any questions."
I nodded and walked over to my backpack. After taking out my bio textbook to review, I was met with Seifer sitting across from me.
"Good, you are studying biology!"
He smiled and scooted over next to me on the floor. He was so much bigger than I was and he almost cast a shadow by just sitting next to me.
"Can you help me with this? I don't get it."
I asked quietly, pointing to a section in the book I could not understand no matter how much I studied it. It was this section on human reproduction in details. I didn't really find interest in it, maybe that's why I didn't understand it.
Seifer explained the entire section without even looking at the book. He was kind enough to answer all my questions and after a long explanation, I finally understood everything.
"Seifer.why do people fall in love? When do you know if you want to be with someone? How can these people find each other to have babies?"
I was amazed at myself for talking this much in one day. He was looking at me with sadness in his eyes I could not understand. Why was he looking at me that way?
"Well, I think falling in love isn't something you control."
I felt his arms around my shoulders but I didn't protest. Whatever the reason was, I felt that I could trust him not to hurt me like Jake or everyone else.
"But, how do you know when you fall in love?"
"When you want to kiss the person."
Seifer grinned almost jokingly as he tightened his arms around me. I stared at him a little stupefied but soon regained my composure.
"I wonder what a kiss feels like."
I only whispered to myself, but he must have heard me. Seifer lowered his head towards mine.
"Don't tell me you never kissed before?"
I blushed and lowered my gaze, not wanting to meet his eyes. It was already embarrassing that he heard what I said, and the fact that he was leaning against me didn't help much. Without warning, he gently grabbed my chin and lifted my face up so I was staring into his eyes. The sincere jade green orbs.
My eyes widened when I realized that the distance between us were shortening slowly. His lips were inching towards mine, and all I could was say still, unable to do anything. Then, all of sudden, I was reminded of the incident yesterday with Jake. I tried to back away from him, but his other hand was holding me by the waist tightly.
"Shhh.don't be afraid. I won't hurt you, I promise."
The words provided only little comfort. No matter how much I wanted to believe in him, the past experiences brought stronger emotion into my body. Fear.
He captured the tiny space between us. His soft lips brushed against mine, sending an odd sensation through my body. I opened my mouth hesitantly, letting his tongue enter me and take me over. I was losing control of my body and all I could do at the moment was to close my eyes and feel through my lips.
Seifer broke the kiss after a while and he wrapped his arms completely around me, transferring his warmth to my body. We waited like in silence and stillness. Waiting for what, we didn't know.
I wondered why it felt so different. The way he held me and treated me didn't hurt me. I didn't know a touch could be so healing. For that short moment, I found myself devoid of all the anger and hatred. I felt safe and secure for once in my life. And I knew I could depend on him. I knew he wanted to help me, not harm me.
~:+:~
Seifer's POV
I didn't know whether I should be ashamed or glad. I kissed him without even realizing I was, and by the time my head was clear enough to understand what was going on, it was too late. I have done it, and I couldn't turn back time to change it.
All I intended to do was heal his wounds. I haven't known him long enough to understand him or know his past, but I did what I felt was right. I followed my instinct, simple as that.
To my surprise, other than the little protest in the beginning, Squall was still. Never in my life did I even dream of kissing another man, but I did. Although it wasn't a kiss provoked by true love, it was still a kiss.
He was so mysterious. I felt as if life was slowly seeping out of him and someone had to stop it. I wanted to be the someone to bring him back to the real world.
////////
///////
Reviews please~~~~
Oh yeah, and I have a question to ask you guys. Many of the reviews I got for chapter 5 got erased or something...did anyone experience the same thing?