Breakaway

I never thought one day you'd be gone,
away forever more
No one can say, no one could explain
why you were taken

Oh where are you now?
Could I get there somehow?

"You're the glue that holds us together." — Christopher

Her hair was scattered out on the pale, blue pillow of the coffin, the twinkles of shimmering golden locks brightening the room. Her eyes were closed and I longed to see those cerulean eyes, the cerulean eyes I used to always love to watch brighten with joy, with laughter… Her peaceful face, with the barest accents of scars marking her pale, tight cheeks, rested calmly, her lips a pale, deep light pink that looked so pale, so dark. She was wearing one of her Moon Princess dresses, one that Queen Selenity had said was to be her wedding dress on the Moon. Her arms, marked with scars and scabs, were resting on her stomach, her hands clasped as if she was praying silently, the burn marks on her finger tips marked clearly. Her skin was white as a sheet and it was slowly turning blue to the cold AC that enveloped the home. A peaceful smile graced her lips, a slow turn up of pale lips, and I shivered. She enjoyed dying, she wanted it… she destroyed herself.

Pictures were scattered everywhere. I gasped to breathe when my lungs could no longer grasp the air when I glanced around her room. It was everywhere. Memories of our friendship came flooding back to my mind as I struggled to keep my brain working when I caught sight of a picture… a special picture I forbade her to show anyone. It was hanging above the smashed mirror, where three letters were still scattered and several box of tissues were put there.

It was the one at the beach. She had jumped on my back, laughing, her eyes open and bright, her mouth wide and smiling, while the others had crowded behind us, all in bathing suits, with ice cream in their hands. He stood there, laughing as her ice cream, in mid-motion, was falling to the sand, as all of us laughed. I was in a bikini, convinced by one of the senshi, and I was extremely embarrassed by the flesh I was showing. Motoki had taken the picture with his new digital camera and had managed to get a happy smile in there as he popped behind him quickly, grinning a slow grin before dodging to get his camera back from a tourist.

I loved that day. I don't know why — it brought back memories I tried to repress all the time. I nodded to one of the senshi, trying to fight back tears of my own as one of them stood by the coffin, her hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her face. I could not make out their faces — it was all so blurry, so strange. I could not focus. My hands were clammy and sweaty as I continued to wipe them against my face to force the tears back, the pain was coiling up in my stomach, and the ache in my heart kept throbbing back the entire time… and I continued to shake uncontrollably.

It was nearly sunset outside. The reception would be over and we'd be able to bury her in a small place in the park where she wrote to her mother. 'A special place where no one knew.' she described it and we went to go look at it. She wanted to be buried next to the big tree, next to the pond and have the bench moved to the other side, pushing up against one of the bushes. I enjoyed the place. The pond was lovely, the sun caught the ripples directly and the tree above was perfect for shade. But I know we all couldn't help but wonder — why was the water red?

"Ami." the simple voice penetrated my wondering, simple thoughts as I turned around to gaze at the other pictures lined up against the walls. It was all so simple — a picture of her and I resting against 'The Bench' was placed on a small, delicate frame by her bed. I, as usual, held a book in my hands, grinning softly into the camera, leaning my head against the shorter girl's head as her blonde head bobbed, a smile prodding at her lips.

"Please." his voice continued to crack in suspense as my I continued to stare at the memories that haunted me. I shivered, my eyes taking one of my favorite pictures. We all stood outside the cherry fields, where sakura trees blossomed and the pink petals fell like rain over the grass fields and the farmers grew some juicy, red cherries that we liked to pick and eat with delight. The petals were falling gracefully down and Motoki had caught them in mid-motion as well. They fell into our hair, our faces, and our hands. It seemed like she was the only one who noticed him holding the camera. I stood beside her, holding out my hand as a petal was falling into it and everyone else was laughing and grinning. She stood in the middle of us, a smile settled on her lips, her cerulean blue eyes focused ahead, her golden hair falling around her in a beautiful light. The sun was setting behind us, the cherries gleaming with a soft red color that seemed to glow in our hands as one of the senshi was holding a cherry, the autumn leaves turning a bronze, golden-amber color that seemed to sparkle like diamonds in the photo. It accented her perfectly, her heart-shaped face gleaming in between a coat of golden hair, the soft, bronze colored leaves circling her, a small smile planted on her face. I missed her.

"Talk to me, Ami." I turned abruptly, my eyes burning into his dark blue eyes. He gazed at me, confused, tears swimming in those pools of pain. I grimaced myself. He didn't wear that ridiculously ugly green blazer or one of those long sleeved shirts, or jeans. He was dressed formally, in a black suit and he had combed his dark raven hair back. Dark circles were drawn underneath his eyes and the rough edges of his face had softened to a degree, to the face of a weak, heartbroken man.

"What do you want?" I tried to make my voice sound intimidating. I knew that it was cracking as well. My eyes were hot from trying to keep the tears back as he stared at me. She was dead, I wanted to scream, and it's all our fault! We acted as if we hated her so you could have your little adventure with Rei… and it turns out you dump Rei the day she decides to kill herself… My voice was snappy, I knew, and I flinched away from my own sharp tone.

"I'm sorry, Ami," he whispered slowly, "I didn't mean—I mean—I'm so sorry—please, Ami…" I felt guilt rush into me. I shook my head, placing an unsteady hand on his elbow, my own dark blue eyes telling him I understood and I walked away. He should've gone talk to Minako—she's way more understanding.

The burial session would not begin for another twenty-five minutes. The living room was scattered with some of her belongings. It is said that she never cherished one thing; she loved everything the same. However, her brother argued, he said that his sister had loved one thing above all others. The star locket. It now stood in glass above the fireplace, the words 'Usagi' carved into its cover. It still sang but Motoki had recorded the song on a tape and it began playing in the background. The light, musical tone danced lightly in the silent room.

There was another photograph of us all. We were all in it this time — all the senshi, Motoki, Mamoru, and even Chibi-Usa was in this picture. It was all in the Crown Arcade and Motoki's sister had stooped to take a quick photo for memories. We weren't paying attention, but Chibi-Usa's ruby colored eyes and Usagi's cerulean eyes had turned at the exact moment she had snapped the photo. We were laughing, though Mamoru looked slightly grumpy at having ketchup and mustard on his shirt — courtesy of Rei — and Motoki was neglecting his job. It was all fun and games back then, all laughs and tickles, all smiles and grins. Now, I can't even think of a time that all of us senshi got together without screaming at each other.

We had left her out, hated her, annoyed her, cast her out, acted out high treason against our princess. And now we're paying the price. Now, we're breaking apart because we ripped out the glue that held us all together. We snapped at it, ripped it to shreds, and caused it to die itself, to give up hope; which made our hope die as she died as well.

She was my first real friend. She was my first best friend. She was the first girl who showed me how to have fun. She was the first girl to teach me that my grades aren't everything. She my best friend — and I betrayed the trust she gave me by siding with the people who I knew were doing the cruel thing… and I helped in killing her once bright soul by not trying to save her no matter how much my heart told me to.

I didn't listen — and that cost me one of the greatest friends I could have ever had.

TBC, if you guys want.
Sorry I took so long. (: