Losing Control / 9
///When words can not express how I feel///
///When my actions can not tell you how I feel///
///Let my kiss be the one///
///To make you understand me///
Seifer's POV
As I looked at the bloody bandage, I could feel my blood starting to boil and my muscles starting to contract. I didn't know who or what caused this injury, but the fact that he was hurt this severely didn't make any differences. His skin was drained of colors and his forehead was covered in sweat.
Even as he slept, he seemed to be in a lot of pain.
First things first.
I got up and decided to so something about the scar first. Squall wasn't any good at this kind of stuff. I took his shirt off gently, not wanting to cause any more damage than how much he was already experiencing. He winced in pain a few good times before he relaxed in my arms.
As soon as I finished mending to the scar, I left Squall on the couch, unable to look at his pained expression anymore. It hurt me just to see him suffering. Then I was angry. Angry not only at whoever did this, but also angry at Squall for not telling me about it. What would have happened if I never found out?
Did he not trust me? What was his reason behind not telling me about this? How much pain did he go through? Why didn't I tend to the injury earlier?
What did I have to do to gain his trust?
"..Sei..fer?"
I heard his weak voice calling out for my name. How long was I standing by the windows thinking about my life? I immediately rushed to him, who was on the couch shivering slightly from the sudden drop of temperature in his body. How could I have forgotten to give him a blanket?
"Squall? Squall?"
I held his small hands and waited for a reply. His eyelashes fluttered open, revealing his stormy blue-gray eyes now filled with pain and sorrow. He was breathing unevenly, but I couldn't do anything to help him.
"..Seifer?"
"I am right here, Squall."
I sounded almost desperate as I placed his hands on my chest. Squall turned his head arduously and looked at me with his teary eyes.
"Who did this to you?"
"...."
Squall broke our eye contact and stared at my hands holding his.
"No one..it was an accident.."
He managed to whisper, barely enough for me to hear. He tried to fool me, but he wasn't very successful. I gripped his hand tighter.
"And I suppose you somehow fell on a knife somehow pointing at your stomach? What's your excuse, Squall?"
I must have sounded a little angry because Squall winced, hiding his tears. I lifted his face up gently with my fingers on his chin, wanting him to meet my eyes.
"Squall..tell me what happened..please"
His eyes were beautiful. So beautiful that it almost ached to look into its depth. I released his hands and cupped his pale face into my hands, feeling his smooth skin against my palms. With every tear, which rolled down his eyes, another dagger stabbed me deep inside my heart.
I brushed my fingers over his eyes, soaking my fingertips with his tears. I wanted so dearly to help him. To fix him back before it was too late.
Slowly, and almost gently, I reached his lips with mine, the deepest desire to hold him gaining control over me. I kissed him cautiously, not wanting to scare him. He relaxed in my arms opened his soft lips, allowing me in. We shared a light, yet passionate, kiss, not caring about anything else in the world, not even the tears rolling down his eyes.
As I broke the kiss, Squall leaned against my chest, his shoulders shaking minutely. All I could do was to hold him securely as I waited for his tears to end.
"Seifer..I am so sorry."
"What are you sorry for?"
I asked gently, patting his head in a gently pattern to calm him down.
"I really didn't mean to make you angry. I am sorry for causing you all this trouble."
He managed to say this between choked sobs.
"Squall, you didn't make me angry. I wasn't mad at you..I was mad at myself., so stop saying you're sorry."
Squall looked up from my chest, staring at me with his tear stained face. He looked a little bewildered at the statement.
"I should be the one saying sorry. Squall, I am sorry for not knowing about this sooner. But why....why did you not tell me when you saw me?"
Squall hesitated before opening his mouth.
"I didn't want you to worry about something like this."
I knew the statement was the truth. I could see the pain and shame in his eyes as he spoke those words.
"For heaven's sake Squall, how could you possibly think that? I care for you Squall and whenever you're hurt, it hurts me."
Then to my shock, Squall pushed me away, weakly, but still firmly.
"Don't lie to me, Seifer! You don't care about me..You think it's funny to toy around with my feelings, don't you! No one cares for me..just stop it here..just...don't hurt me anymore."
His voice grew dimmer by the words, the sudden burst anger subsiding into painful sorrow. He placed a hand on his chest, looking as if something was stabbing him in the heart. He was now crying pitifully, unable to control his emotions.
Ignoring his protest, I held him in my arms, wishing that this boy wouldn't shatter. He seemed so fragile. It was as if he going to shatter in millions of pieces if I let go of him.
"Please Squall. Don't do this. Stop killing yourself inside."
I pleaded, sending the words to intermingle with his choked sobs.
:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+
Sap, Fluff, and Angst are the basis of my story, folks! . I thank the following reviewers for supporting me! ^--^
Redrum Renagade Seraph Ilana Sara and Tenken Turin Drop of the universe In-The-Shadows Angry Angel Verdanii Guesto-chan Rikkali Xxkurenaixx Rioku Skyx FF9 Zidane Kuro-Koneko Sakura-chan Luna Shields The rainstorm lady Just a bastard Gunbladequeen217 Ralza Angel of Pure Darkness Anon Thornangel Lilluvpug Blessedsilence Jin Clock Fantasy101 Raven Leonhart Death Angel Sandra Leonhart Ne0nhalo Snowsystem Erisu chan Yuki, the chibi ookami Vaskjuil DevaGlenn Mana Hidaka Dragon Spellweaver Mo
Thank you everyone! Remember! Read and review~!
Much love, Tears of Griever
///When words can not express how I feel///
///When my actions can not tell you how I feel///
///Let my kiss be the one///
///To make you understand me///
Seifer's POV
As I looked at the bloody bandage, I could feel my blood starting to boil and my muscles starting to contract. I didn't know who or what caused this injury, but the fact that he was hurt this severely didn't make any differences. His skin was drained of colors and his forehead was covered in sweat.
Even as he slept, he seemed to be in a lot of pain.
First things first.
I got up and decided to so something about the scar first. Squall wasn't any good at this kind of stuff. I took his shirt off gently, not wanting to cause any more damage than how much he was already experiencing. He winced in pain a few good times before he relaxed in my arms.
As soon as I finished mending to the scar, I left Squall on the couch, unable to look at his pained expression anymore. It hurt me just to see him suffering. Then I was angry. Angry not only at whoever did this, but also angry at Squall for not telling me about it. What would have happened if I never found out?
Did he not trust me? What was his reason behind not telling me about this? How much pain did he go through? Why didn't I tend to the injury earlier?
What did I have to do to gain his trust?
"..Sei..fer?"
I heard his weak voice calling out for my name. How long was I standing by the windows thinking about my life? I immediately rushed to him, who was on the couch shivering slightly from the sudden drop of temperature in his body. How could I have forgotten to give him a blanket?
"Squall? Squall?"
I held his small hands and waited for a reply. His eyelashes fluttered open, revealing his stormy blue-gray eyes now filled with pain and sorrow. He was breathing unevenly, but I couldn't do anything to help him.
"..Seifer?"
"I am right here, Squall."
I sounded almost desperate as I placed his hands on my chest. Squall turned his head arduously and looked at me with his teary eyes.
"Who did this to you?"
"...."
Squall broke our eye contact and stared at my hands holding his.
"No one..it was an accident.."
He managed to whisper, barely enough for me to hear. He tried to fool me, but he wasn't very successful. I gripped his hand tighter.
"And I suppose you somehow fell on a knife somehow pointing at your stomach? What's your excuse, Squall?"
I must have sounded a little angry because Squall winced, hiding his tears. I lifted his face up gently with my fingers on his chin, wanting him to meet my eyes.
"Squall..tell me what happened..please"
His eyes were beautiful. So beautiful that it almost ached to look into its depth. I released his hands and cupped his pale face into my hands, feeling his smooth skin against my palms. With every tear, which rolled down his eyes, another dagger stabbed me deep inside my heart.
I brushed my fingers over his eyes, soaking my fingertips with his tears. I wanted so dearly to help him. To fix him back before it was too late.
Slowly, and almost gently, I reached his lips with mine, the deepest desire to hold him gaining control over me. I kissed him cautiously, not wanting to scare him. He relaxed in my arms opened his soft lips, allowing me in. We shared a light, yet passionate, kiss, not caring about anything else in the world, not even the tears rolling down his eyes.
As I broke the kiss, Squall leaned against my chest, his shoulders shaking minutely. All I could do was to hold him securely as I waited for his tears to end.
"Seifer..I am so sorry."
"What are you sorry for?"
I asked gently, patting his head in a gently pattern to calm him down.
"I really didn't mean to make you angry. I am sorry for causing you all this trouble."
He managed to say this between choked sobs.
"Squall, you didn't make me angry. I wasn't mad at you..I was mad at myself., so stop saying you're sorry."
Squall looked up from my chest, staring at me with his tear stained face. He looked a little bewildered at the statement.
"I should be the one saying sorry. Squall, I am sorry for not knowing about this sooner. But why....why did you not tell me when you saw me?"
Squall hesitated before opening his mouth.
"I didn't want you to worry about something like this."
I knew the statement was the truth. I could see the pain and shame in his eyes as he spoke those words.
"For heaven's sake Squall, how could you possibly think that? I care for you Squall and whenever you're hurt, it hurts me."
Then to my shock, Squall pushed me away, weakly, but still firmly.
"Don't lie to me, Seifer! You don't care about me..You think it's funny to toy around with my feelings, don't you! No one cares for me..just stop it here..just...don't hurt me anymore."
His voice grew dimmer by the words, the sudden burst anger subsiding into painful sorrow. He placed a hand on his chest, looking as if something was stabbing him in the heart. He was now crying pitifully, unable to control his emotions.
Ignoring his protest, I held him in my arms, wishing that this boy wouldn't shatter. He seemed so fragile. It was as if he going to shatter in millions of pieces if I let go of him.
"Please Squall. Don't do this. Stop killing yourself inside."
I pleaded, sending the words to intermingle with his choked sobs.
:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+
Sap, Fluff, and Angst are the basis of my story, folks! . I thank the following reviewers for supporting me! ^--^
Redrum Renagade Seraph Ilana Sara and Tenken Turin Drop of the universe In-The-Shadows Angry Angel Verdanii Guesto-chan Rikkali Xxkurenaixx Rioku Skyx FF9 Zidane Kuro-Koneko Sakura-chan Luna Shields The rainstorm lady Just a bastard Gunbladequeen217 Ralza Angel of Pure Darkness Anon Thornangel Lilluvpug Blessedsilence Jin Clock Fantasy101 Raven Leonhart Death Angel Sandra Leonhart Ne0nhalo Snowsystem Erisu chan Yuki, the chibi ookami Vaskjuil DevaGlenn Mana Hidaka Dragon Spellweaver Mo
Thank you everyone! Remember! Read and review~!
Much love, Tears of Griever