Losing Control / 11
Seifer's POV
How could one person bring so much pain and joy at the same time? How does he make my heart beat so fast and so slow at the same time? Why do I feel happy just by looking at him?
"Squall, you should take a shower."
"You can take it first. I will wait. You'll catch a cold."
"Same goes to you. Come on, go take a shower."
"Seifer?"
"Yeah?"
I watched him fidgeting, twirling his fingers nervously. I knew he wanted to tell me something but was afraid or ashamed to do so.
"I.."
"Yes?"
"It's nothing."
"You can tell me anything. Squall."
"No, really, it's nothing."
I walked up to him and held his hands gently, urging him to spill whatever was in his mind. He looked away blushing. Did he know how cute he looked when he blushing?
"Squall. Do you trust me?"
He nodded in response, still not facing me.
"Then can you tell me what's on your mind?"
"Seifer..I don't want to sound stupid..but..is it wrong for me to like another man?"
The question took me by surprise. I raised my eyebrows questioningly. Squall finally turned his face towards me, his eyes starting to water.
"Let me ask you this..Squall..do you love me?"
He looked startled for a second and I could feel his muscles tensing beneath my fingertips.
"I...I think so.."
"Then there is no reason to be confused, Squall. What makes you think that loving someone can ever be wrong? Love is, by definition, freedom and it has no restrictions. Maybe this is the right time for me to say that I have grown strong feelings towards you also. For heaven's sake Squall, you are beautiful, smart, and deep inside, you have a caring heart. I can't ask for anything better than that!"
"But Seifer..what will the other people say about us?"
"Are you afraid?"
"Yes.."
"Don't be."
"Are you really sure about this?"
"Being with you? I have never been more sure in my life."
I smiled gently at his blushing face and brought his body towards mine.
"I can give you all the time you need."
I whispered into his ears, trying my best to somehow get rid of his confusion through my cooing. He rested his head on my shoulders and cried quietly, unable to quite orient himself. I didn't know anything about his past, but something tells me that it couldn't have been a good one.
Ever since when did I care so much about someone?
Is this really love?
"Seifer.."
"Yes?"
"Why does it hurt so much?'
He whispered into my ears, his frail shoulders trembling visibly.
"What does?"
"This. Everything. Jesus, Seifer, I.."
"Shhh..don't cry. Don't doubt..and listen."
I heard his weeping ebbing. I ran my fingers through his hair and whispered.
"Listen, Squall. Listen only to what your heart has to say, not anyone else. Just listen for once."
There was a silence as we held each other and listened. Squall leaned in closer for a moment before departing and looking into my eyes.
"I want..to be..with you."
Even amidst the uncertainty in his eyes, I could feel it through my skin and his inner emotions that what he meant was coming out of his heart and not a façade. It brought me more happiness than anything when I realized that he was finally open to me and not behind those walls anymore.
And carefully, I brought my lips to his, slowly provoking his hidden emotions.
:+:+:+:+:
--------
/DevaGlenn/ - a wonderful chapter? *perks up* Thank you~~ Don't worry, u r not stupid *wink*
Seifer's POV
How could one person bring so much pain and joy at the same time? How does he make my heart beat so fast and so slow at the same time? Why do I feel happy just by looking at him?
"Squall, you should take a shower."
"You can take it first. I will wait. You'll catch a cold."
"Same goes to you. Come on, go take a shower."
"Seifer?"
"Yeah?"
I watched him fidgeting, twirling his fingers nervously. I knew he wanted to tell me something but was afraid or ashamed to do so.
"I.."
"Yes?"
"It's nothing."
"You can tell me anything. Squall."
"No, really, it's nothing."
I walked up to him and held his hands gently, urging him to spill whatever was in his mind. He looked away blushing. Did he know how cute he looked when he blushing?
"Squall. Do you trust me?"
He nodded in response, still not facing me.
"Then can you tell me what's on your mind?"
"Seifer..I don't want to sound stupid..but..is it wrong for me to like another man?"
The question took me by surprise. I raised my eyebrows questioningly. Squall finally turned his face towards me, his eyes starting to water.
"Let me ask you this..Squall..do you love me?"
He looked startled for a second and I could feel his muscles tensing beneath my fingertips.
"I...I think so.."
"Then there is no reason to be confused, Squall. What makes you think that loving someone can ever be wrong? Love is, by definition, freedom and it has no restrictions. Maybe this is the right time for me to say that I have grown strong feelings towards you also. For heaven's sake Squall, you are beautiful, smart, and deep inside, you have a caring heart. I can't ask for anything better than that!"
"But Seifer..what will the other people say about us?"
"Are you afraid?"
"Yes.."
"Don't be."
"Are you really sure about this?"
"Being with you? I have never been more sure in my life."
I smiled gently at his blushing face and brought his body towards mine.
"I can give you all the time you need."
I whispered into his ears, trying my best to somehow get rid of his confusion through my cooing. He rested his head on my shoulders and cried quietly, unable to quite orient himself. I didn't know anything about his past, but something tells me that it couldn't have been a good one.
Ever since when did I care so much about someone?
Is this really love?
"Seifer.."
"Yes?"
"Why does it hurt so much?'
He whispered into my ears, his frail shoulders trembling visibly.
"What does?"
"This. Everything. Jesus, Seifer, I.."
"Shhh..don't cry. Don't doubt..and listen."
I heard his weeping ebbing. I ran my fingers through his hair and whispered.
"Listen, Squall. Listen only to what your heart has to say, not anyone else. Just listen for once."
There was a silence as we held each other and listened. Squall leaned in closer for a moment before departing and looking into my eyes.
"I want..to be..with you."
Even amidst the uncertainty in his eyes, I could feel it through my skin and his inner emotions that what he meant was coming out of his heart and not a façade. It brought me more happiness than anything when I realized that he was finally open to me and not behind those walls anymore.
And carefully, I brought my lips to his, slowly provoking his hidden emotions.
:+:+:+:+:
--------
/DevaGlenn/ - a wonderful chapter? *perks up* Thank you~~ Don't worry, u r not stupid *wink*