I should warn you
Things you're feeling
Aren't normal now
Think you need me
It's not easy
let you go somehow
Too Far Gone – All-American Rejects

He was nervous. He wasn't exactly sure why either. Justin had had sex before. 'Yeah, like a million years ago.' No, really he hadn't had sex in, at least, two years. It wasn't like he hadn't gotten offers – of course he did. It's hard for him to explain, why he turned down everyone. Maybe because sex isn't what he was looking for, not only sex anyway. Sure, that might be ridiculous but he had never been into the whole 'Fuck and forget' policy. That wasn't…him. Sure, he loved to fuck and he loved to get fucked. It felt great. It was just always missing something. Daphne liked to make fun of him, time after time, when he always gave her his reasons for turning down some hot stud.

So maybe he did know why he was nervous after all.

Wouldn't anyone be nervous? Two years without being fucked is a long time. Justin shifted in the seat as Brian quietly drove. He wondered how apparent his nervous state was. Was it extremely obvious? Probably. He was surprised Brian wasn't asking questions. Would he freak out and bail out of this? Would he make a decision saying that he wasn't ready? No. No. Nononono. He wasn't going to do that. He wanted Brian. And he was going to get fucked by Brian. That was that. There was no going back. He nervously wiped the palms of his hands on his pants and then folded them. He just needed to calm down. Deep mental breaths. He would be fine. Tonight would be fine. Tonight would be great. He wanted this after all. God, who wouldn't want Brian?

What made it even better was that Brian wanted him, which led to a whole other question altogether. Did Brian want him or did he just want what he could give him. Justin mentally told himself to shut the fuck up. If that's all that Brian wanted then he wouldn't have gone through all the trouble for the date…right? Justin decided that he was right. Brian wouldn't do that. Brian was nice. Great. Fucking perfect it would seem. So, for the rest of the ride, Justin mentally told himself to stop talking to himself about Brian just trying to get into his pants.

"Here we are."

Again, he got the car door open for the nervous blond. Smiling, Brian grabbed his hand and lead him inside the huge apartment building, into a rickety sounding elevator to one of the higher floors, and then proceeded to unlock and slide open a large and, not to mention, loud metal door. Brian led him inside and then shut the door behind them. Justin looked around the loft – fuck, it was nice. Everything looked to be extremely expensive but, oddly, didn't look stuffy or snobbish in anyway. His kitchen appliances were all stainless steel. Nice kitchen. But, his bed was what really caught his eye. How could it not? It was on a platform and it just…stood out. A lot. Or maybe Justin was just noticing it because he was nervous about the whole 'oh, fuck, I haven't been fucked in two years' thing going on.

"Nice place."

"Thanks."

"Would you like something to drink?"

Justin smiled at the brunet as the man strode into the kitchen.

"You're so polite."

"Would you rather me not be 'cause that won't be a problem."

Justin, still smiling, headed into the kitchen after Brian who had retrieved a bottle of water out of the fridge. "Of course not. I hope you're always this polite and this isn't some kind of show to actually get me to like you." Brian smiled and set his water down on the counter, taking a few steps closer to the grinning blond. "Is it working?" Justin didn't say anything at first, only smiled and then, "It might be." Brian reached out and wrapped his hand around Justin's wrist, pulling the younger man tightly against him. His other hand moved to rest on the blond's hip. "I guess I'll have to work harder then." Justin placed his free hand on Brian's shoulder, small smile on his face.

"Maybe just a little harder."

Brian took this moment to lean down and place their lips together in an agonizingly slow kiss. Justin slipped his arm around Brian's neck and pulled his other hand out of Brian's so that arm could join the other around his neck. Brian obliged and his own hands grabbed each of Justin's hips and urged the smaller man's body harder against his, pulling them as close as they could possibly be. Brian finally pulled away when Justin was sure he was going to die from lack of oxygen, though, that wouldn't have been a bad way to die. Being ravished by Brian Kinney.

"Was that hard enough?"

"Oh yeah, I think so."

Brian grabbed Justin by the front of his shirt and led him out of the kitchen, through the living room, and up the steps onto the platform that held his bed. He took great pride in his bed. Brian turned to face Justin who, compared to a few seconds ago in the kitchen, once again looked nervous. Brian pulled the smaller man against him, hands sliding down to grab the blond's hips. He watched Justin for a moment, his teeth starting to bite at his bottom lip, his pale cheeks turning slightly pink, and just looking…extremely too innocent at the moment.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fabulous."

"Are you sure? You look nervous."

Justin doesn't respond for a second and, when he does, it's with him standing on his tiptoes, his hand coming to rest on the back of Brian's head, and pulling the man down for a rough, searing kiss. Brian takes this as an obviously good sign and quickly sets himself to pulling the blond's shirt up over his head, hearing the blond moan just slightly at lack of contact for the few seconds it took, and Brian doesn't think he can keep his hands off Justin's bare skin for the rest of the night. He's impossibly smooth and perfectly…perfect. He trails his fingers down the blond's taut stomach and, as if burned, Justin jumped backwards, stumbling just slightly. Brian raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong?"

Suddenly a small smile comes up on the smaller mans face.

"Nothing. I'm just…"

"Just what?"

"Just extremely ticklish."

Brian grinned. This was just too perfect. He could have a lot of fun with this tickling problem that he seemed to have. "Are you really?" He raised his eyebrow again and stepped forward. Justin's eyes widened and he stepped backwards. Maybe Brian should save this for another time because he was painfully hard right now and all he wanted to do was fuck the man standing in front of him. He could save the tickling for later. "Don't you dare get any ideas." Brian's smiled widened. "I think I already have some ideas." Justin narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, stern look on his face. He looked incredibly hot/cute/edible standing there like that. Yes, the tickling would have to wait until later. Much later.

"But they can wait 'till later."

Brian reached out and grabbed him by the waistband of his jeans and yanked him forward until their bodies were pressed hotly against each other and his mouth was devouring Justin's all over again. His carefully wandered down to the button of Justin's jeans without tickling him. His zipper was slid down and he pulled the jeans off the blond's hips. Justin helped by kicking them away. Then went the boxers and Brian only pulled away so he could look. Hair a complete mess, lips swollen, cheeks turning a dark shade of red under his intense inspection: he looked fucking hot. Gorgeous. And he was Brian's. Justin shifted nervously and Brian quickly smiled, bring his hands to the man's face and kissing him quickly on the mouth.

"You're so fucking gorgeous."

Justin's smile probably grew wider and he let out a relieved laugh.

"Uh – thanks."

"My pleasure."

And it definitely was. Brian grabbed the man's wrist and led him over to the bed, gently shoving him down onto the black sheets, his pale body and blond hair contrasting beautifully against the darkness. Brian was too turned on for his own good. In all honestly, he couldn't remember ever being this turned on by a single human being. It was…different. Though, it was a good kind of different. He could only imagine the looks on Michael's face and Emmett's face and anyone's faces if he told them all about how he had been thinking lately. They'd probably send him to the closest asylum.

Pushing the thoughts away, for the moment anyway, he quickly pulled his shirt off. He wasn't going to be able to hold off much longer. Ever since he had touched the blond he had been waiting for this moment. And now he was here splayed out on his bed waiting for it. He quickly made his pants vanish and he was smothering the blond with his mouth and his hands were touching every inch of skin that he could touch at one time until Justin was a shaking mess beneath him. And until Brian could no longer take the waiting anymore. Giving Justin a quick kiss on the neck, where he had probably left about…ten hundred hickies, he reached over to a bowl on his nightstand and grabbed a condom and the bottle of lube kept there.

Once the condom was on he reached out a hand to grab Justin's shoulder who was about to turn over onto his stomach.

"I wanna look at you."

"Oh – o-ok."

Brian slid his hands down Justin's legs, easing them around his waist and then proceeded to squeeze some of the lube onto his hand, warming it. He met blue eyes and he was sure his eyes weren't mistaken – he looked incredibly nervous.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Oh, please say yes. Or my dick will fall off. And I'll never have the chance to fuck you.

Justin furiously nodded.

"Yes. Very sure."

"You don't look sure."

"I'm just,"

"Nervous."

He's silent for a minute and then,

"Yeah, I guess so. Just…go slow. It's…been a while."

Brian really doesn't see how it could've been a while for someone who looks like him but he doesn't ask questions. Maybe later when his dick isn't throbbing. Wait, is that even going to be possible? Just the sight of Justin will probably make him hard, at least a little anyway. Brian pressed his mouth against Justin's in a slow lingering kiss to convince him that everything would be ok. That he would definitely take it slow. God, he sounded so…lesbonic. He pushed that thought away – it didn't matter. He was still Brian Kinney. He just…liked someone. He pushed the thoughts away and slowly slid his index finger inside the awaiting man's hole. He stopped, his other hand moving his hand back and forth across Justin's tense stomach, letting him get used to the feeling.

Then, when Justin finally relaxed, another finger.

Then another. He kept his hand firmly in place to keep the blond's hips from rising off the bed.

"B-Brian, c'mon…"

He didn't need to tell him twice. Brian locked Justin's legs around his waist once more and positioned himself over Justin's smaller body and eased forward, the head of his cock easing inside. He quickly stilled himself, Justin tense underneath him. "Sunshine, relax." He lowered his lips to Justin's in a rough kiss as an attempt to distract him from what else was going on and to get him to relax and let him inside. It had the desired affect and Brian slowly eased forward finding himself wanting to not hurt him but ignoring that thought and then stilling again once all the way inside.

Justin's breathing was harsh beneath him, his body stock still, and his eyes shut.

Brian would stay still for as long as needed. Hopefully that wouldn't be a long time. He couldn't stay hard forever – though others would probably disagree with that. Justin's tight grip on his arms slowly loosened and his eyes quickly opened and the tenseness of his body soon disappeared. Brian smiled softly down at him. "Are you ok?" What was this, the third time he had asked him that tonight? Justin quickly nodded, smile turning up at the corners of his lips, and hands sliding up Brian's arms and sliding through his hair. His hands brought the brunet's mouth towards his again and Brian took this as an 'ok' to move.

So he did, moving all the way out and then slowly in.

"Oh, god…"

He agreed with Justin and repeated the action, moving nice and slow like he had asked.

Dammit – in the morning when he was away from Justin he was going to think long and hard about how he had been acting. Him liking someone was monumental and what else was monumental was…he didn't exactly mind the feeling of what it felt like to like someone. To actually want someone for more than just sex. The third thrust he angled his hips just right and moved against Justin's prostate, which sent the blond into incoherent mumbling and loud moans of ecstasy, blond head thrusting back into the pillows and hips snapping upwards to meet his. God, he was bea-hot. Brian took advantage of Justin's exposed throat and attacked it, thrusting forward again at a faster pace.

He couldn't keep up the slowness of it at all.

And Justin being the tightest ass his dick had ever been in made it damn near impossible to not go any faster. He was tight. Brian wondered just how long it had been. Or if he was just tight like this naturally. The two moved faster and faster together, the two establishing a rhythm, Justin whispering his name every other thrust and Brian thinks he enjoys the sound a little more than he should.

"Bri – close."

Brian kissed Justin long and hard, angling his hips and brushing up hard against Justin just right with every intent of making the man come and…it worked. Justin came, Brian coming a few seconds after, collapsing on top of Justin, both breathing hard. Brian slowly eased out, earning himself a moan of disappointment from Justin, and threw the condom somewhere on the floor. He could clean it up in the morning. Right now, he oddly just wanted to stay here on top of the blond. Of course, he was probably suffocating him since he weighed more. When he made a move to move over to the side, Justin's arms tightened and,

"Please stay."

He ignored this...foreign feeling inside of him at the words.

"I'm not suffocating you?"

"No, you aren't fat."

"That's good to hear."

Justin smiled; face burrowing into Brian's neck and arms still tight around his back. Brian slid his hand under Justin's body and rolled over so they were both lying on their sides, chests and bodies aligned.

Brian wrapped both arms around Justin who yawned tiredly and snuggled, legs entwining together and hands clinging, against the older man. Brian allowed it because, and he wouldn't lie, he actually didn't mind. If this would've been anyone else he probably would've freaked on them. But not Justin.

"Are you alright?"

Justin nodded; eyes closed, and face resting up against Brian's chest.

"I'm great."

"You definitely were."

Justin grinned, eyes opening, and he leaned over to meet Brian's lips with his own. When he pulled back he sent Brian a little smile. "Thanks for, you know, taking it slow for me."

"Anything for you, Sunshine."

And he ignored the little feeling inside of him that said he probably would do just about anything for the blond lying next to him and slowly falling asleep.

Author's Note: I'm not sure if I like this chapter but I'll leave that up to the readers.