Chapter 11

Chris prowled restlessly around the room, from the doorway, to the window, to the chair, and back again.

"What's wrong with you?"

He tore his gaze from the wall clock and looked at Vin. "Nothing. Why?"

Vin shifted a little, wincing. "You're jumpier 'n a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs."

Hearing the strain in his friend's voice, Chris perched on the edge of the bed. "You hurting?"

To prevent pneumonia from settling into Vin's weakened lungs, the medical staff had begun getting him out of bed for increasing periods of time. He'd been sitting in the chair for over 30 minutes, and discomfort and fatigue were etched in the lines around his eyes and mouth.

"I'm fine. Don't change the subject."

One corner of Chris's mouth turned up. "I'm fine too."

Studying his face, Vin shook his head. "If you're havin' second thoughts about playin' nursemaid, I understand."

"I'm not having second thoughts; Travis has already approved the time off." When Vin still looked doubtful he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "You staying at the ranch doesn't make me jumpy, pard. Hospitals... Well, they're another story."

Vin hesitated, then nodded. "I hear ya. I've 'bout had my fill of this place, an' then some. Gonna be real good to see the sky an' breathe air that don't smell like it's been disinfected six ways to Sunday."

"Not to mention the uncomfortable furniture." Chris gestured between the chair and the bed.

"An' don't even get me started on the food."

"You two are just breaking my heart." Julie, Vin's raven-haired night nurse leaned in the doorway, one hand pressed to her chest. "Plotting to leave us without a backward glance."

Ducking his head, Vin peered at her through his lashes. "Never said there weren't a thing or two I'll miss about this place."

Julie smiled, revealing matching dimples. "Hopefully more than just those illicit chocolate pudding cups I smuggle you."

Blushing, Vin gave her a lopsided grin. "I reckon."

Standing, Chris ruthlessly squelched the smirk that wanted to take over his face. "Can you stay a minute, Julie? I wouldn't mind stretching my legs."

"Of course." Julie took his place on the side of the bed. "Go grab yourself a cup of coffee from the nurses' lounge, if you'd like. It's much better than what comes out of the machines."

"Thanks. I just might take you up on that."

When Vin gave him a look that said he knew exactly what Chris was up to, he responded with a wink. "Be back in a few."

Vin narrowed his eyes. "Watch your back, Cowboy."

"Why do you call him that?" Julie asked as Chris stepped into the hallway. He heard Vin raise his voice to be sure it would carry. "He likes it. Me and the boys figure he must think he was one of them gunslingers in a previous life."

Chris flipped him the bird behind Julie's back before heading toward the visitor's lounge. Josiah was seated on one of the lumpy couches, his large hands clasped between his knees. Smiling, he stood as Chris approached.

"Boss."

Chris glanced around the otherwise empty room, frowning. "Where is he?"

"Nathan took him to see his father. They should be back any minute." Josiah cocked his head. "Something wrong?"

Chris looked away, clenching his jaw. "I'm not sure this is such a good idea."

"The boy's already here, Chris. He's gonna step out of that elevator any minute, and when he does he expects to see Vin."

"They've had him sitting in the damn chair for nearly an hour. You know how much that takes out of him. I just think the timing's off."

"Jonah's aunt arrives tomorrow. As soon as the paperwork is taken care of they'll be flying back to California. I'd say the timing's now or never." He moved into Chris's line of vision, forcing him to meet his eyes. "What's really bothering you?"

Chris glared at him for a long moment before answering. "Picking at a wound doesn't help it heal."

"Nor does leaving it to fester."

"You really think talking to Jonah is going to help Vin?"

Josiah sighed, rubbing a palm across his stubbled jaw. "I think Vin and Jonah share a terrible bond the rest of us will never completely understand. I think demons Vin thought he'd locked away have come back to torment him. And I believe Jonah can give him the strength he needs to banish them once and for all."

Chris turned and paced to the window. For perhaps the first time in his life he could empathize with Vin's claustrophobia. He felt hemmed in by sterile corridors and constantly intruding hospital personnel, by Vin's pain and his own inability to stop it. He longed for open spaces and rolling hills. For the peace of Vin's quiet companionship as they worked side by side. Most of all, he longed to erase the past week, and the name Sinclair, from both their lives.

He sensed Josiah's presence at his back a moment before the big man spoke. "You can't pretend it never happened, Chris. Vin made that mistake years ago, and now he's paying the price."

Chris kept his gaze fixed on the city streets. "Nightmares are coming all the time now. He can't sleep without waking up in a cold sweat, shaking." He finally looked at Josiah. "Last thing I want to do is cause him more pain."

"Lancing a wound hurts like hell. But it's the only way to get out the poison and begin healing." Josiah gripped Chris's tense shoulder. "I don't like to see him in pain any more than you do. But I do believe this is best for Vin."

The elevator chimed softly. Squaring his shoulders, Chris turned to face Nathan and Jonah where they stood on the edge of the waiting area. Dressed in new jeans and a Broncos tee shirt, Jonah looked pale but determined. He met Chris's gaze without flinching.

"Hi, Agent Larabee."

"Jonah." Chris followed Josiah over to the pair, nodding to their medic. "Nate."

"Hey, Chris. How's Vin doin' tonight?"

"Pretty good. Tired--they've got him sitting up again."

"That's a good sign. Means they're getting' ready to release him."

"Doc said maybe day after tomorrow." Chris looked at the boy. "Vin's had a real close call. He can't afford to get worked up."

Jonah nodded, his dark eyes huge. "I won't upset him. I j-just want to s-s-say I'm sorry."

Chris hesitated, trapped by the hope in Jonah's eyes and Josiah's silent expectation. "All right. Just...give me a minute. I'll let him know you're coming."

"We'll wait in the hallway," Josiah agreed, and Chris was inexplicably irritated by the approval in his voice.

As he walked down the corridor to Vin's room, he found himself wishing again for open spaces, and hoping he wasn't making a big mistake.

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Vin squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on breathing. Pain radiated through his chest and down his arms, throbbing with each beat of his heart. A cool cloth stroked across his sweaty face and warm fingers curled around his wrist.

"You all right?"

"Just...just gimme a minute." He ground the words out through clenched teeth.

"I'm hitting the damn button."

"No." He cracked open his eyelids and glared at Chris, who looked almost as rough as he felt.

"Vin, you're in agony."

"Stuff puts me out. Don't wanna sleep." He hated the fact that he sounded like a whiny child.

To his surprise, Chris grimaced but didn't argue. Vin eased himself against the pillows propped at his back, absurdly grateful to be lying down again. He watched Chris glance at the door for the third time since Julie had left.

"What's goin' on? You act like the bogeyman's waitin' out in the hall."

"Maybe he is."

Vin raised his eyebrows at the barely audible mutter. "What?"

Chris sighed. "Someone's here to see you."

"'Sat all? What're you makin' such a fuss for? I ain't dyin'; I can handle visitors. Who is it--J.D.? Ezra? Why don't they just c'mon in, for Pete's sake?"

Chris shook his head, finally looking Vin in the eye. "It's Jonah."

"Oh." Vin read the subtle disapproval in Chris's tense shoulders and clipped words. "You don't want me to see him."

"I think it's too soon. You're weak as hell and hurting most of the time--despite how hard you try to hide it. I don't want that kid doing anything to set you back."

Vin couldn't bite back a surge of irritation. "I'm not gonna fall apart, Chris. You don't have to treat me like I'm made of glass."

"I was in that cellar, Vin. I saw the effect that kid had on you."

"And I'm tellin' you I've been lookin' after myself long as I can remember. I don't need you tryin' to pad corners for me. Damn!" Vin pressed a hand against the fresh surge of fire in his chest. "I'm sick of this shit."

Chris reached for the button to the PCA pump, but Vin blocked his hand. "Send him in."

Chris tightened his lips to a thin line. "Fine." He stalked toward the door.

"Chris?"

His friend paused but didn't turn around. "Yeah."

"Just Jonah. I want to talk to him alone."

Stiffening his spine, Chris nodded curtly and disappeared.

Blowing out a long breath, Vin stared up at the ceiling. While his memory of the ordeal in Sinclair's cellar was hazy, he could clearly recall the strength of Chris's arms, the warmth of his body, and the comfort of his voice. Without Chris, he'd have died in that hellhole--of that Vin was certain. The last thing his friend deserved from him was anger, but these days his emotions were raw and out of control.

He wished he were at the ranch, fixing fences or cleaning tack. Breathing air sweetened with pine and horses and hay. Soaking up the pleasure of Chris's company without having to say a word, without seeing the constant shadow of doubt and worry in his friend's eyes. Most of all, he wished the last week had never happened. Come to think of it, he wished most of his childhood had never happened.

A tentative knock broke through his reverie. Jonah hovered just inside the room, shuffling his feet. "M-Mr. Larabee said y-you'd see me."

"C'mon in. And stop lookin' so scared. I ain't bitten off anyone's head so far an' I don't plan on startin' now."

Jonah came slowly over to the bed, his gaze taking in the hospital equipment and Vin's I.V. He swallowed hard. When he didn't speak, Vin broke the silence.

"How's your pa?"

"The d-doctor says he'll be okay--eventually."

"How 'bout you?"

Jonah shrugged, staring at his toes. "I'm okay."

"Your Aunt Lisa sounds like a real nice lady."

"I d-don't really remember her. Dad d-didn't... I haven't s-seen her since before my mom died."

Vin blinked back a rush of moisture. How many times had he stood in Jonah's shoes, forced to start over, a stranger among strangers? Isolated. Alone. Every time hoping for something better, fearing something worse.

"You're gonna be okay."

Jonah's eyes flashed. "How do you know?"

Vin smiled inwardly at the show of temper. Good. Kid was gonna need it. "'Cause I been where you are, more times than I can count. I know sometimes it feels like the whole world's against you, but you gotta believe you deserve something better."

His lip trembling, Jonah shook his head. "You said that before,
b-but...I'm n-not sure I do."

"I know." Vin's throat was dry and tight. "You get told you're worthless long enough, you can't help but start to believe it. But I'm tellin' you, Jonah--you can be whatever you want to be. You got that power inside you. I seen it."

Jonah studied his face, searching for the truth. "You did?"

"Saved my life, didn't you?"

"You'd never have gotten shot if it weren't for me." Jonah sucked in a deep breath, his shoulders hitching in a sob. "And I'm s-sorry, Agent T-t-tanner. I'm so, so sorry."

"C'mere." Wincing, Vin snagged Jonah's arm and drew him to sit on the side of the bed. "You stood up for what you knew was right. You went against your own pa to get me help. You think that didn't take guts?"

"You knew. I saw the way y-you l-looked at my d-dad, at me." Jonah swiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "You st-stood up for me. Nobody else ever even noticed--or if they d-did, they p-p-pretended not to. I couldn't j-just let you d-die."

"I'm still here 'cause you stood up for me." Vin cupped the boy's cheek. "Now it's time to start standin' up for yourself. You got a second chance. Don't waste it."

Jonah nodded, fresh tears wetting Vin's fingertips before he brushed them away. "Josiah says my dad never stopped loving me. He says sometimes all the pain and hurt inside a person gets in the way, comes spilling out instead."

Something deep inside Vin twisted and broke. "Reckon so."

Chris appeared in the doorway, his expression carefully neutral. "Jonah? Your aunt just checked into the hotel. Josiah's going to take you to her."

Jonah looked at Vin for a long moment before nodding his head. "Okay."

Holding up his hand, Vin hooked his thumb with Jonah's, clasping tight. "Have a good trip."

"I will." Jonah stood and ducked his head. "Could... That is... Agent Tanner, w-would it b-be okay if I write to you?"

He smiled. "Only if you call me Vin. Josiah's got my email."

"Thanks...Vin." Jonah's smile trembled. "For everything."

"Watch your back, pard."

"You too."

When he knew Jonah was gone, Vin closed his eyes, taking slow deep breaths as he worked to regain control over the feelings churning inside him. After a few minutes he heard familiar footsteps approach the bed.

"I'm sorry, Chris." He kept his eyes closed, horrified when his voice cracked. "I had no call to--"

"You going to press that damn button now or do I have to arm wrestle you for it?" Gruff and tender at the same time, Chris's growl was exactly what he needed.

Opening his eyes, he glared and pressed the button. "Only way I'm gonna get you off my back. Bossy son of a bitch." The grumble was forced, but it felt good. So did the warm current that flooded his body, easing the daggers in his chest.

"Are you okay?" Chris took Jonah's place on the mattress, eyeing Vin until he squirmed under the scrutiny.

"I'm fine--why wouldn't I be?"

Chris didn't answer, just plucked the damp cloth off the bedside table and wiped tear tracks from Vin's face.

"Thanks." He was suddenly weary to the bone, his eyelids gaining weight with every passing second.

"Don't know what you said to him, but it was the right thing."

It took his fuzzy brain a moment to decipher Chris's words. "Jonah?"

"Yeah. You two must have had quite the talk."

"Reckon we straightened out a few things."

Chris nodded. "Reckon you did. He walked in here like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, but he came out..."

"Free." The corners of Vin's mouth turned up as his eyes fluttered shut. "Think he's gonna be okay."

"Yeah." Gentle hands pulled the blankets up and smoothed the hair back from his face. "So will you, Cowboy. I promise."

If there was one thing Vin knew he could count on, it was Chris's promises. Wrapped in that warmth and security, he let go and drifted away.

Continued in Chapter 12