Life After Ever
Chapter 2
Rory and I talked for several hours. She told me all about how she spent the years in between. She told me how she really wanted to send me an invitation to her wedding, but then decided that if she wasn't going to have me there she wasn't going to have anyone there. I was amazed to learn that she eloped. It was definitely not Rory's style. I was also amazed to learn that for a little under two years I had been a grandma. I wish I could have known. As she told me what my grandson was like, I felt as though I should have defrosted the ice that was around my heart toward her and gone in search of her. I should have found her, and because I didn't I thought that I was a terrible mother. We laughed as it got later in the night. When I realized that it was really late I decided that I should head home, so I left and we promised to meet for lunch the next day.
When I got home Luke and Grace were still up. Well Grace was asleep on Luke. When I happened upon the scene Luke stood up careful not to wake a sleeping Grace, and asked everything was okay. "Well," I began, "Let me put Grace in her room while you start the coffee? It will take a while." "Okay," was all Luke said to me. I picked up the sleeping child and began to climb the stairs with her in my arms. About the fourth step she began to stir and she said, "Mommy?" "Yeah baby what is it?" "You left me. Where are we going?" "Well you were asleep so we are going to your room, so you can sleep in your big girl bed." "Ok, I love you mommy." As I laid her in her bed, I saw her green eyes look at me (that she got from Luke, their intensity she got from me.), "Momma, can you sing to me?" "Not tonight babe."
As I walked into the kitchen the smell of coffee took hold of my nose and carried me away. "So, how is Rory?" was the first thing Luke asked. "Well she's fine, turns out she eloped, and had a kid." "WHAT?" Luke said in shock. "Well she married Logan and they had a son. His name was William. He died three months ago. My little girl has gone through so much pain and hurt. I feel like I should have gone after her, like I should have saved her from the pain, but I didn't. Am I a terrible mother cause I sure do feel like one right now? I mean her son never got to know his grandmother or grandfather. This sucks. Grace didn't get to know her nephew." "Hey, Lorelai, stop for one second, ok? Look you are a great mom to both Rory and Grace. Do not beat yourself up over this. Life happened, and you didn't know what was going on." Man, I loved Luke he could make me feel so secure and comfort me all at once. I knew that was one reason why I married him.
After mom left, I wondered about the apartment for a while. How did Luke live here? The place had obviously been kept pretty well. I sure it was Luke's doing and not mom's. As I settled in the bed, I reached in my purse and pulled out my phone. I dialed a familiar number and a familiar voice picked up. "Hey, Rory," was all Jess said, "I was waiting on your call. Did you get to Stars Hollow alright? How is your mom and Luke?" "They are fine. I am fine. Mom and I talked for a few hours. Thanks Jess you were right, this is where I need to be." "Alright, I am glad you are all good. Listen I have to get back to some work, but before I go I want you to know I went and left flowers by Will's grave today. They said Happy Birthday, just like you asked." "Thanks Jess it means a lot to me. I wish I could have done it, but I don't think I could bring myself to go back there not yet. I miss him, Jess." "I know you do. Look I really have to go. Don't forget to call Honor and let her know you got in ok. Bye Rory" "Bye Jess." I hung up the phone and then looked up Honor's number.
Honor was Logan's sister, and ever since Logan died I stayed in touch with her just to keep in touch with Will's other family. It was a good idea while Will was alive because Honor knew that I was not talking to her own family. Now we simply kept contact because I needed it. As I dialed Honor's number I thought about what I would say. Finally a male voice picked up on the other end of the phone. "Hey Greg, is Honor there?" "Uh, not right now; can I take a message?" "Yeah tell her I called." "Alright, will do, bye Rory." I hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed next to me. I slowly stood and moved towards the window.
I saw the last flames of the bonfire at the Firelight go out. I remember so many festivals from this town. Like the one where I broke up with Dean and the one where my mom and Luke met and the town first discovered that those two would end up together. I remember when Will was born I would put him to sleep with stories of the crazy town that I grew up in. He loved hearing those stories. I told him that one day I would bring him to a festival. I began to cry. Will would have been two today. That is why I am here. I can't take this life anymore I have lost my husband, and my son. Is there anything else I could possibly lose? What is worse than losing a love and then losing a child? Not a whole lot that is certain.
It had been a long day and once I was settled and changed into my pajamas I crawled into the bed. The world slowly began to fade, and I fell to sleep. I was in a field and I heard Will's laughter all around me, but I couldn't find him. I kept calling his name. I ended up screaming it. I finally saw him, but he was to far away and he began to run away from me, and so I chased him. Then I heard my name being called and it was Logan saying it. I told him that I couldn't talk right now I had to catch Will before he went somewhere he wasn't supposed to go. Then Logan was grabbing me not letting me get to my child. I was screaming at him. Then I woke with a start, and found my mother holding me. "Let me go. . . Mom?" I said with tons of shock that I was back in Luke's apartment. I slowly began to realize how I got here. "Baby, I am here. The neighbors heard you screaming and called us? They thought you something bad was happening to you. What is going on kid?" My mother was amazing at the compassion thing. "Us? Is Luke here?" "Yeah I told him to go down stairs and make coffee. Why don't we go down there and talk?" Like I said my mother has a certain aura about her. She never stops caring. Even though I am 26, she will still hug me like I am 16. I wish I never left her, especially doing it the way I did. "Mom, I am sorry." I said in a small voice. "For what?" "Well for going to Grandma and Grandpa like that, for dropping out of Yale, and for never calling to let you know that you were a grandma." "It is ok, kid."