Chapter 5

Harry stared at his parchment and nibbled on the feathery tip of his quill. What to write…he thought. What to write what to write…Harry could not figure out how to write his letter. He did not want to admit to Fred and George that his girlfriend had dumped him, especially if the girl was their sister. He also did not know how Fred and George would react if they found out that he was trying to feed Ginny a love potion. They would probably hex Harry until there was nothing left of him but a shriveled up black heart. Harry thought a minute and wrote:

Dear Fred and George,

Ron has been having problems with Hermione. Hermione hates him because he keeps getting between her and Victor Krum. I want to help Ron because he is my best mate. I think you want to help him too because he is your brother even if you think he is a filthy git. My idea is to feed Hermione a love potion. I think they will soon find out that they are actually in love with each other. I'll make sure no hanky panky goes on.

Yours truly,

Harry (your benefactor)

Perfect, thought Harry, I'll just use Ron and Hermione as the reason to get the Love Potion. Harry rushed up to the Owlery and located his snowy white owl, Hedwig, among the equally white owl droppings. He tied the piece of parchment to her leg. She nipped him a couple of times on the ear.

"Fred and George," he told Hedwig. In a sudden rush of feathers, she was gone…

xx

…And back again, 12 minutes later. Harry was surprised. It usually took Hedwig a whole day before his letter got anywhere. He was only partway down the stairs from the Owlery when the owl had flown in and bowled him over. Harry nearly broke his neck, but since he had the reflexes of a Quidditch player, he managed to tumble down the stairs in a safer position. When Harry had finally stopped rolling, he stood up with a couple of bruises and grabbed the letter tied to Hedwig's leg. The letter was written on a beautiful, iridescent sheet of what looked like fairy wings.

"Wow," Harry muttered to himself, "This paper must be really expensive." He unrolled it and read:

Dear Harry,

We finally bought Zonko's you know. Today's a Hogsmeade day for you blokes I believe so you can just trot down here anytime. Love potion for Hermione? More like a love potion for Ron that idiot!

--Fred and George

Oh yea thought Harry. He quickly ran up to the dormitories to grab a warm cloak and sped down to Hogsmeade.

xx

Harry walked into Zonko's, which was now called Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. It appeared that a hippie on LSD had decorated it because the colors were lurid, flashing, and neon. Harry was nearly blinded by the display. His eyes were throbbing in their sockets and the glare from his glasses only heightened the effect. Harry shut his eyes, but the colors were so bright that he could see through his eyelids anyway. With his arms --which were getting a nice tan-- held high over his face, he rushed into the shop.

"The Chosen One!" greeted Fred and George melodramatically. They both acted as though they had not seen Harry since forever, and they each pumped an arm enthusiastically. Harry's arm bones were nearly dislocated from his shoulder sockets. Then the twins grabbed Harry into a tight embrace. Harry felt as flat as a house elf under a giant's foot.

"Hello Fred, hello George," gasped Harry after he had been released.

"Harry! How kind of you to visit our humble abode!" cried Fred.

"Welcome, welcome! You are welcome to all our wonderful products!" yelled George.

"I just want a love potion for G—Ron…" said Harry.

"Of course! We'll give you that---" began George.

"--And more!" finished Fred. They began to pile endless amounts of prank materials into his arms.

"No! No! I don't need this stuff!" shouted Harry, "I just want a simple love potion!"

"And so you shall!" exclaimed George. He ran into the storage room and returned with arms piled high with bottles and boxes.

"We've got love potions in these cherry-filled chocolates, love potions mixed in with this fudge over here—it's really quite delicious, mum's recipe in fact—and we filled in some of these cupcakes with it, but you can also buy simple love potions if you want to do the mixing yourself. All of these are temporary however; this one here lasts for about a week until the effects wear off, but if you keep it really long, it lasts much longer," explained Fred.

"And the love potions cause the drinker to fall in love with the first person he sees unless you add a bit of whoever you want him to fall in love with—like a toenail or a strand of hair, but I would suggest spit—it's less noticeable," continued George.

"Use with caution--" warned Fred.

"—Or you could end up making a fool of yourself," finished George.

"Er… I don't know what I should choose," said Harry.

"If it's for Hermione, you should probably get the fudge and tell her it's from mum or something," suggested Fred.

"Or you could get her some of this perfume. That won't be unusual because Ron has given her some before," said George.

"I think I'll get both. Just in case one doesn't work out the way it should," said Harry. He needed to get one for Ron in case Fred and George asked him about it. Harry didn't want Fred and George to wonder about what he really did with the love potion. He decided to use the fudge for Ginny and the perfume for Hermione.

"Alright! How many days do you want it to last?" asked George.

"About a week," decided Harry. He figured that after Ginny fell in love with him, she'd still be in love with him even after the effects wore off.

"That'll be… FREE!" beamed Fred as he dumped the two packages into Harry's arms. "Remember to tell us how it works out between our darling ickle Ronnikins and his lovely girlfriend Hermione!"

"I will!" replied Harry, grinning back. His heart suddenly felt as light as a Pheonix feather, and the feeling stayed with him all the way to the castle. Harry almost felt like twirling and skipping and dancing all the way up to his dormitory, except that would not be normal, so he settled with bouncing up every step. He bounded into his dormitory and onto his bed. Drawing the curtains tight around him, Harry carefully unwrapped the packages. He picked up the container of fudge and opened it, then spat a huge glob of white, frothy spit into it. He churned it around a bit with his finger so that it mixed, and wiped his finger off on a tissue. He was careful not to lick it off because he would fall in love with himself and that would be really nasty. Then, he carefully slid it back into its package and wrote "Ginny Weasley" clearly on the top. He put it aside and opened up the package containing the bottle of perfume. Harry smelled it, and the odor reminded him of Ginny and Quidditch. With a dreamy smile, Harryleft it on his bedand went over to Ron's bed. He searched the pillow until he found a strand of violently red hair. It was Ron's all right. He unscrewed the bottle and dropped the red strand into it.The color changed from a transluctant pink into a golden, urine-like color.It started to smell like skunk underwear, Ron's signature scent.

Perfect, thought Harry. He rewrapped the perfume and walked down the stairs to the common room, carrying his two packages.

xx

Ginny was sitting in front of the fire in the common room, surrounded by her group of happily chattering friends. They had just got back from Hogsmeade, and all of them were rosy-cheeked and good humored. Ginny brushed her windswept red hair away from her face and flashed her white teeth at everyone. She made everyone laugh with her funny joke about the witch, the lion, and the wardrobe that all walk into a bar. Suddenly, an annoying guy with an ugly scar popped up. Ginny groaned inwardly when she realized who it was. She gripped her wand and was about to whip it out to perform her Bat Bogey Hex when she noticed that all of her female friends were giggling insanely, and it wasn't at her joke either. They were giggling at that disgusting bloke!

"Ginny," said Harry, "Ron told me to give this package to you. I think it's from your mother." Ginny snatched the package away from him.

"Thank you," she said coldly. She put it aside and stared at him, willing him to leave. He just stood there and stared back at her.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?" asked Harry.

"Why should I?" said Ginny, frigidly, "It's probably some snacks from mum. Run along now."

"What type of snacks? I'd like to know," replied Harry. He did not move because he needed to make sure Ginny ate the fudge.

"It's none of your business you bloody git! Now get away from me! You're foul and nasty! Nasty!" yelled Ginny. Her friends had stopped giggling now. They were staring at her with shocked expressions on their respective faces.

Harry was hurt. Very hurt. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes like bubbles of blood from a wound. His lip trembled uncontrollably, like it did whenever he rode the cart in Gringotts. But he stood firm.

"I just wanted to know," he said quietly. Ginny noticed that he was on the verge of tears.

"Fine!" she scowled, "I'll open it! Just don't cry you weakling!" She fumed as she tore the package apart and pulled out the container of fudge. "There!" she shrieked, "Fudge! From my mom! Happy now?" She hated Harry so much at that moment. He was such a loser! Honestly! What kind of boy actually cried when they didn't get their way? He was obviously a spoiled brat from an overly rich family! She hated those types of men the most! They were soft and pampered and indulged at every turn! He probably did not even know how to brush his teeth without a house elf doing it for him! No wonder he looked so disgusting! At Hogwarts, there were no house elves that could pamper him, which was probably why his hair was uncombed and untidy, and he had a scrawny, bedraggled appearance. Most likely, he smelled and had poor hygiene, but Ginny did not want to get close enough to find out.

"Aren't you going to eat it?" asked Harry.

"Do I need you watching me at every turn? I do not! Leave! Now! Or else!" shrieked Ginny, drawing out her wand. Harry eyed it warily.

"I'm sorry! I was just wondering!" groveled Harry, "Please just take a little bite! A weensy weenie widdle bite!"

"No way! You're a bloody lecher aren't you? I bet you get some sort of sick pleasure in watching girls eat! No way am I going to indulge you! Now get out!" shouted Ginny.

"No! That's not it! I just want to know if it's good!" whimpered Harry. Ginny's behavior was starting to scare him. He hoped she calmed down after they were married.

"That's it!" snarled Ginny, her nostrils flaring. She raised her wand and hexed Harry before he could react. His bogeys immediately flew from his nose and became large bats that began to attack him. He screamed as he fled the common room, pursued by giant, slimy, and drippy green flying objects.

"That was pretty harsh," remarked one of Ginny's friends, who was the first to recover from shock.

"Wow, I can't believe you did that!" exclaimed another friend.

"I know! And to Harry Potter The Chosen One!" whispered another girl in a reverent manner. Ginny's face was red and blotchy and she turned to her friends with a murderous gleam in her eye.

"That filthy git!" growled Ginny, "He's a disgusting pervert. He deserved what he got!"

"Didn't you two date for a while?" asked the first girl. Ginny lost control again.

"WE DID NOT! AND I WILL THANK YOU NOT TO BRING THAT UP AGAIN!" she howled. Her three friends quailed under her ferocious glare. They clutched each other for comfort, and the fire that Ginny's red hair exuded burned and blistered the skins on their noses.

"We're sorry!" they chimed as they quivered in fear. Ginny calmed down. She let go of her wand, which had left a long, deep, and vertical indent in the flesh of her hand. Her nails had left marks in her palms as well.

"Sorry," she apologized, "But that git has been bothering me all morning and I'm about to go mad." Privately, every single one of her friends believed that Ginny was already mad, but they were afraid to say so.

"Why don't you have some of the fudge that your mum made you? I'm sure you'll calm down a bit," suggested one of the girls, tentatively. The other girls stared at her, awed by her bravery. She was a true Gryffindor.

"No thanks," said Ginny, very calmly, "But I'm not in the mood for it anymore, thanks to that bloke. You can have it. My mum makes the best fudge." Slowly, and in a very serene manner that was almost scary, Ginny marched up the stairs to her dorm. She wondered what was wrong with her. It was extremely unusual for her to react to a boy so violently, but she just hated that particular boy so much!

xx

Harry finally got rid of his attacking bogies and decided to look for Hermione. Unsurprisingly, he managed to locate her in the Library. A huge book hid her face, but he could see that her ears were red and hot looking, and her hair was still very bushy.

"Er… Hermione?" he asked, timidly, "Ron says he's really sorry and he got you a present from Hogsmeade." Harry placed the package on the table in front of her. Hermione slowly lowered her book and looked at it. Her maroon face was slowly returning to its normal color.

"What is it?" she asked, in a carefully controlled tone.

"I don't know," replied Harry, untruthfully, "But why don't you open and see?"

Hermione picked it up and slit open the package. She stared at it.

"It's perfume," she stated, "And it smells really nice. How kind of him." Her face displayed no expression, and her voice was calm and cool. She put the bottle back down on the table.

"Aren't you going to try some of it?" wondered Harry.

"Maybe later," replied Hermione, and her face still expressionless, she picked up her book and continued reading. Harry decided to leave her alone for a while. Girls could be so complicated! He had expected her to be jumping all over him and thanking him and exclaiming how great Ron was and that she forgave him, but he decided that Hermione just wasn't the materialistic type. He turned and left the library.