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CHAPTER SEVEN

Finally, after a week, they started to wean him off the dreamless sleep potion and the pain potion they had him on. It was a rough night the first time he didn't take it to go to sleep. He dreamed about those eight months. He saw Harry's face, so pale and haggard, he remembered the rage that built in him at seeing his face.

He remembered the tears flowing down those pale cheeks and the sadness in those loving green eyes as Draco screamed painful and horrible things at him. He remembered watching as Harry turned, shoulders slumped in defeat and walked away from him. And he remembered destroying half the infirmary in his own grief.

He woke that morning with tears on his cheeks. He asked to see Ron when Millicent brought in his breakfast. After a slight hesitation she agreed to see if he would come.

Ron walked in just as he was finishing his lunch. With a nervous gesture the blonde folded and unfolded his napkin as the silence stretched.

"Where is he?" He finally asked as he raised pain filled eyes to see Ron flinch. Draco knew then that he wasn't going to tell him and really, did he blame him?

Ron sighed and sat in the chair next to Draco's bed, "Dumbledore said you burned the notes Hermione gave you." He said instead of answering.

"Yes." Draco admitted softly.

"Why?" Ron ground out harshly.

"I felt betrayed." Draco whispered truthfully.

Ron's sharp glance told Draco that though he believed him it wasn't enough.

Draco whispered into the tense silence, "I never truly believed that Harry loved me. How could he? I have been nothing but a right bastard to him. Even after we got together." Draco stopped at Ron's snort and gave him a little smile. "I loved him more than anything. I felt…used."

Ron nodded. "I would have too. But you never let us explain." He pointed out.

Draco smiled weakly. "Explanations were nothing to me. AT THE TIME. Harry was dead. Why should I have wanted to listen to anything anybody said. All I wanted to do was die myself. But I felt it my duty to carry out his last wish. I killed in the name of his love and look what it got me. Nothing."

He could feel the tears coursing down his cheeks but he didn't care. "When I found out he was still alive my heart sang. When I touched him it was as if time stopped. Then came the anger, no the fury, at him for what he had done. Have you ever felt betrayed, Ron?"

The red head could only shake his head no.

"It's as if your heart has been ripped from your chest." He said softly, openly crying now for the first time in his life in front of someone other than Harry. "There's a gaping wound left. I can't see it, but, I can feel it."

"We just didn't have the time to tell you, Draco. After, you wouldn't listen. He tried to tell you. He tried, Draco." Ron insisted.

"I know." Draco whispered uncomfortably. "I remember now."

Silence lasted long moments before Draco once again asked his original question, "where is he?"

Ron watched him intently before once again asking a question instead of answering, "why do you want to know?"

Draco bowed his head in shame. He deserved this. "To know that he is safe. To tell him I'm sorry. To…to hold him again." He raised pleading eyes to Ron's shuttered gaze. "To let him know that breaking our bond was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

"Breaking the bond saved his life, Draco."

"What?"

"If you hadn't of broken the bond then he wouldn't have had enough magic of his own left to keep him alive." Ron admitted with his mouth set in a tight line as if he hadn't wanted to admit that small bit of information.

"But I thought I took all of his magic?" Draco asked in shock.

Ron sighed, "you did. Or, you tried too. His magic gave up everything but kept just enough to keep him alive."

Draco looked at him in horror, "he's a squib?"

Ron's eyes flashed in anger and he slowly got up to leave. With one last contemptuous look at the Slytherin he turned and left without saying another word.

That's not what he had meant he wanted to scream but couldn't get it out. Because he knew he had. Harry had sacrificed everything that he thought he was so that Voldemort could be stopped.

If he hadn't of been broken before, Draco was now.

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