Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own Shakespeare.
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Chapter 10
"Let's start on our Harry Potter shrine this minute!" cried Ophelia enthusiastically.
"But…but…" sputtered Harry. He still had not recovered from shock. "Ginny, don't you love me?"
"Of course I love you! We all love you! That's why we're creating a Harry Potter shrine!" laughed Ginny.
"But you just asked Colin out!" burst Harry.
"That's different! I think he's great boyfriend material! And besides, I can't date you! I love you too much! You're too good for me! That's why I'm putting you up on a pedestal while I date someone my own rank!" explained Ginny. "Also, he's a suitable match for me! We both love you, and we will both worship you together! Our lives are devoted to you!"
"Ginny! You're so lucky that you were able to find someone just perfect for you!" sighed Juliet, "My ideal man would be a Harry-shipian and who will accompany me to the Harry Potter shrine every day for the rest of my life until I die!"
"Don't any of you want to date me?" asked Harry rather desperately.
"We want to do more than that! We want to worship you! We want to kiss the ground you walk on! We want to throw rose petals in your path! We want breathe the air that you breathe, and we want to revel in the golden glory that you exude! Honor us with your presence!" cried Miranda rapturously. She dropped to her knees and gazed upward at Harry, who was lying stiffly on his hospital bed. Sitting up in shock at Ginny's announcement had really overstrained him, and he hurt all over.
"Although," grinned Juliet, "I really wouldn't mind a kiss from you!" She leaned disturbingly close to Harry.
"Me too!" yelled Colin and Ginny fervently.
"As do I!" announced Ophelia. Miranda nodded her head vigorously. All five Harry-shipians leaned close and puckered up…
Harry's eyes rolled up into his head, and he collapsed in a dead faint. He had finally reached his breaking point!
"Well that was a disappointment," remarked Ginny, "I really wanted a kiss from him. He also forgot to bless me and Colin."
"Bummer," squeaked Colin, "I wanted a picture of him kissing me." The other three worshippers sighed at their mischance. They had been so close!
Just then, Madame Pomfrey came in.
"Visiting time is over! Out! Out!" she was about to shove them out of the Hospital Wing when she spotted Colin. Her eyes grew very large, and she began to puff up. Her face started to turn a ruddy color.
"What are you doing out of bed?" she snarled, "You girls, out! Look what you have done to my patient! He is not healed yet!" Madam Pomfrey was beginning to rant.
"Colin!" shouted Ginny as Madam Pomfrey snatched Colin from her grasp.
"Ginny!" shrieked Colin. His hand was groping fruitlessly for Ginny from under Madam Pomfrey's arm.
"Colin! I'll save you!" hollered Ginny. She dove toward Colin. Ginny reached out toward Colin's flailing hand and grasped it within her own. The two students held on to each other firmly. With a massive yank, Ginny managed to tear Colin from Madam Pomfrey's tight embrace.
"NOOOOOOO!" shrieked Madam Pomfrey furiously. She began to stomp after Ginny, bellowing angrily like a giant yodeling a mating call. Unfortunately, she tripped over Harry's bed and fell on top of the unfortunate boy. Luckily, he was still unconscious, which saved him A LOT of pain. Madam Pomfrey had broken some more of Harry's bones! However, she gave up her pursuit of Ginny and Colin to tend to her patient.
"Oh Harry! He's dying!" sobbed Ophelia, looking back over her shoulder as she escaped with Ginny and Colin.
"That uncoordinated bicorn!" screeched Miranda angrily, "We shall avenge the noble Harry Potter's death!"
"Yes!" agreed Juliet, "Let us go back to the common room and plan our revenge! We can also build our sacred temple to him!"
"Oh, I do hate to leave his body behind!" sobbed Colin sorrowfully, "Harry is too beautiful to fester away in that Hospital Wing! Why can't we keep his bones at our soon-to-be altar?"
"I agree! Why should we leave that awe-inspiring example of divine beauty to be mauled by that chimaera?" lamented Ophelia.
"Well we must!" hiccoughed Ginny through her stream of tears, "I love Harry, but I don't want to lose my friends!"
"How sweet!" Miranda smiled through her tears. "But we'll come back for him later! That darling! I hope he's up in heaven, dancing with his parents and Dumbledore to the sound of a golden bagpipe! Oh, how I do wish that I was up there with him!" She crumpled to the ground and began to sob violently. The rest of the Harry-shipians followed suit.
"Oh Harry!" they lamented, "Oh Harry, Harry, Harry…"
xx
Hermione entered the Hospital Wing. She located Madame Pomfrey.
"Madame Pomfrey! I'm hear to see Harry please!" she said.
"No! Harry is gravely injured! He cannot see anyone at the moment!" Madam Pomfrey failed to mention that she was the one who had crushed his healing bones.
"Oh please! I haven't seen him for ages!" begged Hermione, even though she had seen him just yesterday. She mustered up a single tear to glisten in her eye. She looked up appealingly at Madam Pomfrey.
Madam Pomfrey's stern face began to soften.
"Alright! But mind you don't disturb him!" she warned. Hermione rushed to Harry's side, and her face turned grave at how large his full body cast had become. She plunked herself down at Harry's bedside.
Harry peeked out from under his half-closed eyelids. He sighed with relief. It was only Hermione.
"Hey Hermione," mumbled Harry groggily.
"Harry! How are you feeling?" Hermione peered with worry into his bruised face.
"Numb," replied Harry. "I can't move a finger. Where's Ron?"
Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Still sleeping I suppose. He always sleeps in on Sundays. I wanted to thank him for the perfume that he gave me, but Peeves took it!" She scowled darkly. "Just wait till I get my hands on him!"
Harry lurched straight up into a sitting position for the second time that day!
"WHAT?" he screamed. He began to flail about in agitation. Madame Pomfrey came over to see what was wrong.
"I told you not to disturb him!" yelled Madam Pomfrey at Hermione. "Now look what you've done! I'll have to reset his bones again!"
"No! No! I'm fine! Really!" cried Harry. "Just let me speak to her for a while longer!"
Madam Pomfrey glared down at Harry. "Fine, but only if you promise not to overstrain yourself!"
"Ok! Ok! I promise!" said Harry, trying to keep his voice calm. He wanted to tear off the cast and run after Peeves, but his body was still too weak. Hermione looked curiously at Harry.
"What's wrong?" she queried.
"Er…" groaned Harry. He didn't know what to do! If he told Hermione about the love potion, she'd be furious at him! But this was an urgent matter! He decided to spit.
"Well… this is what happened…"
A few minutes later, another "WHAT!" could be heard echoing down the corridors.
xx
Ginny finally stopped crying. "Let's get back to the Common Room. We shall build our shrine."
"No!" cried Juliet passionately, "I have nothing to live for without Harry Potter! Oh happy dagger! My body shall be your sheath! There rust and let me die!"
"Oh Juliet! You mustn't!" wailed Miranda in horror. "We must live on in Harry's memory! He would not have wanted it to end this way! Please, for the love of the divine Potter, live!"
Ophelia stood up and began to warble a horrible song. She swayed unsteadily.
"He is dead and gone, lady,
He is dead and gone;
At his head a grass-green turf,
At his heels a stone."
"Pretty Ophelia!" squeaked Colin, "What nonsense do you sing? Do stop! I pray you!" Ophelia ignored him and continued.
"With his shroud as the mountain snow,
Larded with sweet flowers
Which bewept to the grave did go
With true-love showers."
"O, this is the poison of deep grief; it springs from our lover's death. O Ginny, Ginny, what shall we do now?" bawled Miranda.
"I think she's insane," said Ginny. "Let's take them back to the dormitories. I am about to go mad myself!" Ginny, Colin, and Miranda managed to support Ophelia and Juliet as they slowly and laboriously made their way to the portrait hole.
xx
Ron stumbled down the staircase. The Common Room was empty, but he could definitely hear strains of "Weasley is our King" coming through the portrait hole.
"What now?" groaned Ron sadly. They were making fun of him again! He wanted to go back to bed and hide under the covers. His ears turned red. The music grew louder as whoever was singing it came closer. Ron could also hear many feet stomping along to the rhythm of it.
Sounds like the whole school's in it sighed Ron. His heart beat furiously as he was frozen in place with terror. Where the heck was Hermione? She was the only one who could help him through this!
The singing grew very loud. A base drum boomed along with it in the distance. Ron's knees began to shake. He shivered in horror! What new monstrosity was this? What did they have planned for him? He truly wanted to die!
Suddenly, the wall with the portrait hole buckled. It sounded like the whole school was throwing themselves against it. It buckled again! Cold sweat ran in rivets down Ron's face. He could not move! He wanted to run, but his knees were locked in place. Ron gulped shakily, and his Adam's apple bobbed furiously.
The portrait hole burst open! It revealed hundreds of students and teachers alike, all singing "Weasley is our King"! Ron opened his mouth in a silent scream.
But Ron noticed a difference. The lyrics were different! A couple of students tumbled in, and when they saw Ron, they broke into song, anew.
Weasley is pretty like spring
His voice makes our hearts ping
That's why we loudly sing
Weasley is our king
Weasley was born in heaven
He's our lucky number seven
His face deserves an eleven
Weasley is our king
Weasley is our King
Weasley is our King
Weasley's the wind beneath our wing
Weasley is our King
Ron gaped in astonishment. What was happening here?
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