Chapter Two The Confrontation and Tears

Disclaimer: I think everyone knows, I don't own Holes.

A/N: Thank you all! -bows- Much love to you all! Prepare for a lil' more drama in this chappy. I'd like to specifically thank you reviewers personally. And I'd like you to know, you'll find out your answers in this chapter.

Riley- I'll answer that in this chappy.

ilovecyberchase- You'll see who the rust-bucket belongs to.

SBALL- Thank you, and soon you will see. It's going to you. -winks-

CuteDreaming- Awww, come on, you can't tell me you didn't enjoy waiting about a month to get the answer to that cliffhanger?

Shygurl13- Glad you weren't too lazy to review! -wink- Thank you

IcicleMeltdown99- You'll see.

Squid Freak- See I didn't bold the actual story! And hopefully my grammar is better this chapter! Thank you.

On with the story. Read and Review, Please?

I put my hand on the brass handle. I notice that it's shaking. I take a deep breath before slowly turning the handle and stepping onto the rug that Seth had placed right inside the door.

I quickly wiped my feet on the crimson rug and started across the hard wood floor to the stairs. My heart was racing, dreading to come face to face with the owner of that old rusted car.

I started up the stairs, but I didn't get to the sixth step when Seth's voice called out, "AJ, come here! You have a visitor!" I could practically hear the disgust that he was desperately trying to hide.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath. I drew a long and shaky breath before turning and heading down to the kitchen that Seth prizes so much and from where his voice was radiating from.

Before entering the threshold of the kitchen, I closed my eyes and took another deep breath, preparing myself to confront my past that I wanted to hide. When I felt my tense body and racing mind relax, I opened my eyes and walked into the room, fighting the urge to put up Squid's tough barriers.

My world seemed to come to a drastic halt as I took those few steps into the dark green and silver kitchen. A soothing wave rushed over me a bit at seeing it, the kitchen always made me feel peaceful, my favorite room besides mine. I don't know what it was about the light oak table that we have under the huge window, the white and green plaid that decorated everywhere, or even the soft hum of the metallic machines, it's just that this place has a calming effect on me. I'd always do my studying and stuff in here, but now I'd have to do one of the hardest things in my life in this sanctuary.

There sitting in my chair, an upholstered, oak chair, was her, whom looked to be in her forties when she was really only thirty-two. There were dark bags under her eyes that made her have an older, worn out look to her. Gray strands danced in her hair, giving her more age than what she really had. She forced a smile on her thin grayish-pink lips when her tired green eyes caught me approaching her. I remember, I used to be mesmerized by those green eyes. I used to always want her eyes for their beautiful ocean color, but now I may still love the color they used to be, but I never want to look like I'm her son. In fact, now I love my brown eyes, they kind of represent that I'm different than her, that I will never be her and I'm so glad at that.

Her harsh voice asked me, "Why do you call yourself AJ now? I named you Alan, not AJ." All my hatred for this woman rushed through my blood and I clenched my fists to the point where my nails dug into my skin, but along with the rage and the bad memories, the good ones flooded through my mind as well.

"I'd rather have nothing to do with that name ever again," I caught myself saying in an icy voice that I used to always use when I lived with her. She had the look of someone who'd just been slapped, but right then I didn't care. I had just gotten my life back together; my grades were good, I had friends, I was planning my future, and then she came and screwed up everything, like usual.

Poor Uncle Seth looked confused, yet he disliked her just as much as I did, and if she didn't have the rights to see me then I knew he would've kicked her out of his house. His sapphire eyes glared at her and looked at me with a little sympathy in his gaze, one that tried to tell me that he knew how I was feeling, but he didn't, I know he didn't. He never dealt with her, Jane Morgan, as a mother. You could see the tension on his shaved head clear as day though, but no one would tell him that.

"Oh, you're too good to associate with the mother that birthed you, raised you, loved you? How dare you do this to me! I named you Alan and you will be called by Alan. I know who put you up to this, Alan. Seth, I don't want you corrupting my boy, do you hear me? My sister may have been dumb enough to marry you, but I don't have to treat you like family."

"Wait one minute there, Jane."

"Mom, you may be pissed off at me, but don't you dare lash out at Seth! He's been here for me no matter what. He treats me more like his son than you ever did!"

"Damn it, Alan, pack your things and get in the car! You're coming home with me. See, Seth, see what you've done? You've turned him against his own mother!" Her green eyes flared with fury, just like when she used to hit me, except without the glossy glaze, which is somewhat a bit scarier. I hoped that Seth wouldn't make me leave with her. I never wanted to stay with her again, never.

"Get out of my house, Jane." Seth's voice was calm, as always, and even toned. You could see the rage in his emotional eyes, but his tone hid all that was evident in them. Seth's voice seemed to rattle Mom's nerves, she just stopped talking and walked out, rasping out, "fine."

"Thank you," was all I could manage to whisper out to Seth as we heard the rumble of the rust-bucket that badly needed a new muffler as it sped away. I gripped my bookbag on my shoulder and hurried to my room, trying to shut away all my troubles.

I didn't do any of my homework that night, my mind was still reeling with the confrontation with my mother and all the lies that she tried to feed me. Loved me? As if. I knew better than that. She never loved me, I ruined her life. I was useless. She didn't want me. I don't know who she was trying to fool because she'd told me all that herself in her drunken state and we all know that drunk people tell the truth.

As I laid down in my bed that hadn't been made that morning, I listened to the radio at all these sad songs about abuse, neglect, and suicide, and I realized how close I'd been to commiting that crime against myself back in Camp Green Lake. I couldn't believe that that woman almost drove me to the point of commiting the worst crime that you could commit against yourself. Damn. I hate her with such a passion, but I can't do anything to her because she is my mother and I still love her no matter how she wronged me in the past, present, or future. Even though I sometimes wish I could wipe her away from my existance and just be Seth's son, I know I wouldn't be the me that I am today.

Mom's not the only one who's aged faster than they should've. I've done and experienced too many things that a sixteen year old should. I should still have that rebellious innocence that most teenagers have, but I was robbed of that. I became a man when I was still a child. When I had to do what I had to do to survive.

I fell into a restless sleep that night. I dreamed of her hitting me, but I didn't cry from that. I was a tough boy, I wouldn't admit defeat by crying about her hitting me and cutting me. No, I cried in the middle of the night from the dream of her when she was smiling, that beautiful twinkle in her ocean green eyes that disappeared after bio-dad James left. I dreamed of us together. Just her and me. Sitting by the tree on Christmas, waiting for him to come back, not knowing that he would never show up with the chocolate ice-cream that he'd promised for me.

Her dazzling smile was what brought me to tears. That's what woke me up to where I actually fell asleep in Mr. Nate's class no matter how much Mike poked me in the ribs. That smile and those eyes, the happiness in them, was what left me exhausted because in truth that is what breaks my heart. All the happiness gone from them, her spirit broken. That's what makes me cry.

Please review now?