Well, here it is! Chapter 5! I really didn't think so many people would like my story! It makes me so happy and gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling! Lol!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

The Game

Chapter 5: Losing Control

The first month of their 7th year at Hogwarts flew by and soon they were already halfway into October. October found Hermione caring less and less about school, her friends, and life in general. And while her marks in school were still the highest they began to fall as she started only doing the minimum amount of work required.

She was being drawn towards the little wooden box in the bottom drawer of her dresser more and more. It was like she didn't have a purpose for cutting anymore. It was just something she did now. She would come back to her room after a long, stressful day and pull out the knife. She no longer did it from the grief of her parent's death, to take away the ache in her heart. It was more like an addiction now. She needed to feel the cool blade against her skin, and the tingling sensation that come just before the blood and then the pain.

She couldn't stop now, not even if she wanted to.

She continued to skip meals in the Great Hall. It was as if she had lost her appetite for food permanently. Just thinking about food reminded her of the ash taste she tasted now when she ate and it made her nauseous. Her friends worried about her, but it was like she just didn't care anymore about anything.

Draco noticed the changes as well. He and his friends had been changing for the better and Hermione, it seemed, was changing for the worst. You could tell she was losing weight now. Her skin was paler and she had dark circles under eyes.

Hermione had started listening to music in her room, turning it up loud so that she could sing along. Draco found he could tell her mood by which songs she played. Every time he heard a song start he would listen for her to start singing. He loved to hear her sing. He had figured out a way so that he could block out the actual music and just hear Hermione sing. She didn't know this of course. She probably didn't think that people could hear her over the loud music.

Most of it was Muggle music that Draco didn't recognize, but he found that those were the songs he liked best.

That morning Hermione, waking up feeling all together overwhelmed and depressed with life, had put on 'Tourniquet' by Evanescence. Draco's heart had clenched when he heard it. Somewhere in the last month and a half he had grown a soft spot for the Gryffindor bookworm and it hurt him that she felt like that. He wanted to help, but he didn't have the slightest clue as to what to do.

For Hermione the day just went downhill. She made her way into the Gryffindor Common Room wanting to forget school and, hopefully, find comfort from her two best friends. She looked around and spotted them by a window playing chess. Ron looked up and smiled at her.

"Hermione! Just the person I wanted to see!" Ron exclaimed. "Come join us!"

Hermione pulled up a chair and sat next to them. "Hi guys."

"Hey, Hermione." Harry said. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." She replied.

"Hey 'Mione," Ron began. "Have you done your paper for transfiguration yet? Do you think I could have a look at it? I have no idea where to start it."

Hermione sighed. "No Ron, I have not done it yet."

"What?" Ron cried. "Isn't it due Monday? That's like in two days! Don't you usually like to have your work done the day you get the assignment? That's so not like you 'Mione!"

"So what, Ron? Yeah, it's due Monday. No, I have not started it. That means you'll have to do it yourself over the weekend! I'm not going to let you see mine or help you with yours! It's time you guys learned to do your own work! I'm not always going to be here to do your work for you! I'm sick of only being here so you can pass your classes! No, don't interrupt me! I'm finished helping you! Find someone else to do it for you!"

Hermione stood up and ran out of the Common Room. Everyone was silent and stared at Ron and Harry who looked very guilty.

Hermione ran and ran, tears falling down her face. She didn't know how long she ran for or even where she was running to. She finally arrived at her own Common Room her tears coming to an end. She said the password and entered. She stood before the entrance. Looking around her eyes fell on Draco who sat on the couch.

He looked up at her. "Hello."

Hermione's eyes glazed over as she looked at Draco without really seeing him. "Hello." He continued to look at her while she stared at him without seeing. She turned for the stairs. "Good bye." And she walked up to her room, shutting the door behind her. She headed straight for her dresser. Before she knew it the knife was in her hands.

She didn't feel like herself, yet she knew exactly what she was doing. Except this time she wasn't in control anymore. It was like she was outside of her body watching herself as she brought the knife down against her arm again and again. Her head was spinning. She didn't want this anymore! 'Stop it!' She tried to scream at herself. But she didn't stop. Not until her entire arm was covered in her own blood.

She finally stopped and dropped the knife. She stared in horror at the blood pouring down her hand. She grasped her wrist and bit back a scream. She needed help, but who could she go to? She could just imagine the disappointed look in Dumbledore's eyes and the disbelief of Ron and Harry.

She stumbled down the stairs to the Common Room. Draco was no longer there. He had gone to bed. She fell out of the portrait and somehow found herself down in the dungeons. She tried hard not to fall as she awkwardly opened the door to Professor Snape's office. She didn't even question why he was in his office so late, just stared at him wide eyed, clutching her wrist.

Snape looked up as she crashed in. After the initial surprise he raised his eyebrows. "Yes Ms. Granger? Can I help you?"

She continued to just stare. She opened her mouth, and then closed it several times.

Snape stood up. "This isn't funny Ms. Granger! What is it?"

With her eyes still wide and staring at him, she uncovered her wrist. She looked at it and promptly fainted, falling forward onto Snape. He stumbled backwards, but managed to keep them both from falling over.

"Ms. Granger! Ms. Granger!" Snape yelled out. "Oh, Merlin, what have you done to yourself?" He asked himself. He picked up the unconscious girl and ran all the way to the hospital wing.

By the time he got there he was sweating and out of breathe, but the rush of adrenaline kept him going.

"Poppy!" He cried out as he moved to the nearest bed. He laid Hermione on it and continued his search for the Medi-witch. "Poppy! Where in Merlin's name are you?"

He heard a door open and close and shortly after a very tired Medi-witch emerged. She was in a white nightgown and her hair was all disheveled.

"What in the world are you yelling about Severus? Do you have any idea what time it is?" She asked.

"That is why I'm yelling." He said, pointing to Hermione.

Madame Pomfrey's gaze moved to see what he was pointing at. She gasped and her hand went to cover her mouth.

"What happened?" She asked, as her brain quickly went into action.

"I don't know. She showed up in my office, quite frightened, showed me her arm and fainted on me." Snape reported.

"Okay, thank you for bringing her here."

She had cleaned up the blood and got it to stop flowing.

"What do you think happened?" The Potions Master asked.

"What does it look like, Severus?" She asked.

"Did she do it herself?" He asked, unbelieving.

"It appears that way. From the look of it this wasn't the first time."

Severus shook his head. "Why would she do such a thing?"

"I don't know." Poppy answered, wrapping a bandage around the girl's wrist. "She'll need to be watched carefully though. Any objects that could be used to cut will need to be taken from her possession for a time. A student will need to look after her wand, keeping it until she must use it in class."

"Mr. Malfoy will do it. It will be easier since they share dorms."

"Alright. Please send him by in the morning so I can speak with him." Poppy ordered. "I will keep an eye on her until then. It's late Severus. You should go to bed."

"Yes, well good night." He said, and left the hospital wing.

Draco was woken that Saturday morning by a knocking on his door. Groaning, he rolled over and looked at his clock.

"7:30? Who wakes up at 7:30 on a Saturday?" He mumbled, as he got out of his bed. Throwing a robe around himself he opened the door. He was surprised to find Professor Snape. "Professor? Is there a problem?" He asked, after seeing the disturbed look on the Potions Master's face.

"As a matter of fact there is Mr. Malfoy. It seems that the Head Girl had a little accident last night. Well, not so little and not quite an accident actually. She is in the hospital wing right now. Madame Pomfrey asks that you go there as soon as you can." Snape told his student.

Draco nodded. "Yes, sir."

Severus left and Draco went to get ready for the day.

What could have happened to Hermione? He asked himself over and over again. She had come in the night before, and had looked at him very strangely. He didn't think anything of it at the time. He was too tired to realize that there might have been something wrong.

After he showered and got dressed he quickly made his way down to the hospital wing. Upon entering he saw that the bed at the end of the room had it's curtains drawn around it. He went in search for Madame Pomfrey and found her in her office.

"Professor Snape said you wished to see me?" He asked.

The Medi-witch looked up from her desk. "Ah, yes, Mr. Malfoy. I have a job for you to do. It seems that Ms. Granger has a problem that she must get help for. You are to help her on her way to recovery. You must keep her wand for her at all times unless she needs it in class or for homework. If she does have her wand with her she must be monitored while she uses it. She must not have access to anything sharp that can cut, like a knife. Do you understand?"

Draco let this information sink in. While he was still a little lost on what had happened he was beginning to understand. "Yes. Can I ask what happened?"

"It appears that Ms. Granger has been cutting herself." Draco's eyes widened. "Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but it does happen. Even to the ones we would never expect. It also looks like she has not been eating properly. If you can please get her to start eating right. Don't be mean about it. We must be gentle with her. She is going to have a hard time with this so we must be very supportive."

Draco nodded his head. "Can I see her?"

"Of course. You may stay here until she wakes up, or I can have someone come get you when she wakes up."

"I'll stay here." Draco said, as the Medi-witch pulled back the curtain around Hermione's bed just enough for them to enter the small space.

Hermione was sleeping soundly on the bed, the white covers pulled up around her. Draco noticed a white bandage on her left arm. He still couldn't believe it. How long had she been doing this? He wondered, as he gathered a blanket, pillow and a chair for himself. Somewhere in the middle of his wondering he dozed off.

Hermione woke and slowly opened her eyes. There was white all around her. This wasn't her room. If she wasn't in her room where was she? She looked around and realized she was in the hospital wing. What surprised her the most was the sleeping form of Draco in a chair next to the bed she was in. Why was she here? What happened last night?

That's when she noticed the bandage on her arm. Now she remembered. She had lost control and went to Snape! Snape! Of all people! What in the world possessed her to go to him? And what made her lose control like she did? She had always been in control before. Every time she had cut she knew exactly what she was doing, but this time it had been different. She had gotten angry with Ron and Harry, she remembered that, and everything from there was still sort of blurry.

She looked back over to Draco. He was awake now and was staring at her. She quickly looked away.

"Why did you do it?" He asked, after a few moments had passed in silence.

She hadn't been expecting the question and took a moment to think about it. "Because I wanted to die." She said, simply, staring at the wall across from her.

"That's bullshit!" Draco exclaimed so suddenly that she jumped and looked at him. "Sometimes I want to die too, but you don't see me pulling a stunt like this every time I feel that way! I'd have been dead a hundred times if I had!"

There was no feeling in her eyes and voice as she replied. "You only feel that way sometimes. I feel it all the time. I would have been dead a thousand times over."

Draco sat back down, as he had stood in his outburst. His anger slowly faded though as he heard her speak, with no emotion, no life. It was as if she did die. He no longer saw the Hermione Granger he once knew. She was gone. Would she ever come back? He asked himself.

He began to gather his things. "Well, I suppose I'm free to go now that you're awake. I'm supposed to keep your wand for you from now on. Don't worry, I'll keep it safe." He said, and turned to leave.

"Draco, wait." He heard faintly. He turned back and looked at her. "I don't want to be alone."

He nodded slightly and sat back down.

What do ya think? Huh huh huh? Please tell me in a review! I'll try to update as soon as I can! I've already started chapter 6!