Flashback

Kakashi, safely disguised in his teacher form, was walking towards the Great Hall to join them all in dinner when a hand shot out from a nearby room and tugged him into it.

"Gai, What the hell are you DOING?" Kakashi hissed.

Gai gave a thumbs-up. "Kakashi, my Eternal Rival! I have come up with a plan that will surely eliminate the avatar of Winter and make him into a burning flower of Youth!"

"Ava-what?" Kakashi asked, blinking. Only when Gai described his futile efforts did he know who was the poor sod that Gai chose to…torture.

"---I followed him about in this magnificent building, holding out one of my greatly desired spandex to get him to wear it, but no, my Eternal Rival, he was adamant and refused and shut the Dungeon door in my face---"

Kakashi blinked in recognition.

"SNAPE?"

Gai smiled, the nonexistent light shining off his teeth. "Ah, my Eternal Rival knows him then! Sa, will you assist me in converting the poor man into a burning flower of Youth?"

Kakashi stared at him stupidly, mouth open. A part of him wanted to scream and curl up into a ball and die RIGHT NOW, but another part of him grinned evilly as he was doing now.

"Of course I will."

Gai beamed. "Excellent, my Eternal Rival! I am so glad you are embracing the burning flames of Youth! Do you have any idea why he seems to keep refusing my generous gift?"

Kakashi grinned evilly. "Of course I do. Come, here is the plan! Surely, you have noticed our 'dear friend's' marked preference for black? Maybe he would like a BLACK spandex jumpsuit and is simply waiting for you to get a clue. After all, is it not said that black is a 'slimming color' and 'suits everyone'? Come. Let us humor our 'dear friend'!" he suggested, laughing sadistically in the back of his mind.

End Flashback

Looking at Snape's enraged face actually made Kakashi feel good. He snickered silently in his mind as Gai held out a suit of black spandex…with a little silver s-shaped creature on both the back and the front. It seemed to be a mockery of the Slytherin crest.

"Sa! Look! I have brought you a present worthy of one empowered of the Flames of Youth! Come, put it on, that we may begin your glorious conversion from your Winter of Discontent to the Springtime of Youth!" Gai waved the spandex in Snape's general direction for added effect.

The black spandex was actually Kakashi's suggestion, and he was quite proud of it, thank-you-very-much.

Severus turned several colors in rapid succession, mostly shades of green, white, red, and puce as he choked on words that he could not seem to express.

Gai was incredibly happy. His plan had WORKED! His new friend clearly liked the gift as he was blushing with happiness, and was lost for words.

In that moment, Snape could see his life flash before his eyes, with the horrible image of the black abomination.

How DARE this freak of nature corrupt the Slytherin Crest!

…Was that an EARTHWORM!

WHY… THAT….FIEND!

The whole hall was silent, and then the only time the silence was interrupted was when the whole hall heard Hagrid's booming laughter. The rest of the hall joined in, well, except for some of the Slytherins.

Ron clutched his sides in laughter as he fell off the chair. Hermione and Harry laughed as well. Malfoy's face was red with rage, and he smacked Crabbe and Goyle upside the head as they were laughing too. Even the guards seemed to join in, although their laugh was a small snigger and the shake of their shoulders. The guard who had approached the Staff table gave a small grim chuckle and then she turned to Dumbledore and began to converse immediately in some foreign language. Dumbledore's face was grim upon the guard's hasty talk, and he gave a small nod before taking control of the situation.

"Well! As we've had our laughs, let us go to bed!" Dumbledore proclaimed, blue eyes twinkling, albeit forced.

Clutching their sides and wheezing for breath, the students left the hall. The teachers, the newcomer and the four guards remained. Snape was enraged, barely able to control his fury, and when the students were finally out of sight, he whipped out his wand and pointed it at Gai.

"Cru---," Snape didn't finish. The Hufflepuff guard had reached out and put enough pressure on Snape's wrist to break it. The stare coming from the Cat mask was cold as death.

"Stop." She spoke, slightly adding more pressure to Snape's wrist. Snape thought he heard a bone breaking. Snape glared, but lowered the wand. The guard let go of his hand. Snape already felt a bruise forming as he tenderly massaged his wrist.

The guard cleared her throat and then began her report.

"I was patrolling the grounds as usual. Upon my return to replace my…replacement in the Great Hall, I found a piece of evidence that would suggest that Black-san is here."

"And that is?" This from Gai, who had heard of the murdering wizard from the Hokage before arriving.

The female guard reached into her pocket and withdrew a small crumpled piece of paper. "This is from the grounds. It is a photo depicting the Weasley family, clipped from your newspaper. It is old, and has been crumpled into a ball many, many times." She showed it to them. Snape gave a grimace. "What's so special about it? It's just a photograph."

"Ookami-shushou will know what this means." She smoothly ignored him and gave the photograph to Kakashi.

In the midst of the food fight, Kakashi had body-switched with his Kage Bunshin, so the Bunshin was now the teacher and Kakashi was the guard. Kakashi walked forward and took a sniff.

He grimaced. "Bad. This is bad."

McGonagall blinked. "What?"

"Sirius Black is somewhere in the grounds." Kakashi finished grimly. "And he's waiting, biding his time."

There was another search that night, and like all the others before it, it yielded no results. Kakashi tailed the Potter boy everywhere, both hands clutching kunai and wand respectively, even following him to the loo. He didn't like the bitter cold of winter as he followed the boy outside, but then he was a guard. Guards were tools.

Tools didn't feel.

So all the way from January 2nd to February 1st, Kakashi tailed the Potter boy like a diligent watchdog, taught them Ninja basics in his teacher form as much as possible avoiding the other Jutsus and focusing on their taijutsu and a small dash of ninjutsu. By February 1st, the trio had learned and mastered three different ninjutsu (Kawarimi, Henge, and Gokakyu) and two new ones called Kanashibari no Jutsu, which, their teacher explained, would put their enemy in a state of paralysis long enough for them to flee. It was similar to the Full Body Bind, but this Jutsu did not require a wand. Ron especially looked forward to using it on Malfoy. The second one was called Genjutsu Kai, and it would allow them to dispel some illusions. Kakashi warned them that this might not work against stronger illusions.

At times, their teacher would take them to one side and teach them their own specific Jutsu or technique. To Ron, Kakashi gave him Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu which involved Ron spewing multiple fireballs out of his mouth. To Harry, Kakashi gave him Futon: Daitoppa, which allowed him to blow away his opponents, literally with a great blast of air. To Hermione, he gave Kizu Chiyu no Jutsu, a Jutsu that closed gashes and slash wounds, but could not repair anything major.

Each of these techniques took the young wizards a large amount of time and practice to master even halfway. Meanwhile, it had become a common sight to see Gai following Snape around, attempting to engage him in conversation, if challenging him to duels or various contests in order to re-kindle his 'burning flames of Youth' could be counted as conversation. Sadly, (for the students, as Snape seemed to be very happy…enough to smile) come February, this great source of amusement was no longer viable as Gai, with tearful eyes and overblown sobs, was forced to leave his 'newfound friend' behind. That day, Snape was reportedly seen dancing for joy in supposedly uninhabited corridors. This rumor was repeatedly suppressed by the object of the discussions in general.