Note: Special thanks to Angelfire007 and everybody else that's been replying positively. This is for you guys.
Weeks passed, and soon some of the teams had a semblance of teamwork at least. By June 4th, Kakashi had managed to drill the lesson into most of the teams. Especially Malfoy, who had finally managed to convince Kakashi to teach him a Jutsu. The Crumple-horned Snorkacks had been collecting Acromantula webs nearby when Ronald decided to run away screaming from an Acromantula. Malfoy, in an uncharacteristic show of 'teamwork' proceeded to use 'Incendio' on the Acromantulas, causing them to shriek and flee.
…Of course, Malfoy being Malfoy, proceeded to snark at Ronald right after that.
Kakashi sighed and let it pass. At least the brat was TRYING.
The goal was to collect Acromantula webs deep within the forest with another team and two Hogwarts guards. Impressed, Kakashi decided to teach him one Jutsu, just as an experiment. Knowing Malfoy's preference for the shiny, destructive spells, Kakashi decided to teach him a Katon Jutsu.
On their first day, Kakashi had sighed, sat down on the melted snow and proceeded to stare lazily at Malfoy's pitiful attempts to light a flame.
"Memorize the seals first." He said, rubbing his temples. "They serve to focus your energies like a wand would. Assume, it's the same as flicking your wand during Transfiguration. Observe."
Forming seals and without standing up, Kakashi produced a huge fireball coming from his mouth. Malfoy stared with envy and then asked him to show him the hand seals again, watching avidly with an 'Uchiha-like' tendency, as if the Sharingan would burst from his eyes.
Kakashi shuddered mentally at the thought of Malfoy with a Sharingan. Oh Kami, no. He thought, rubbing his temples again. Dammit, if Sensei went through this he never would've volunteered.
As the exams loomed closer, Kakashi finally let them go (People were smiling in relief) as he sighed and rubbed at his temples. A move he saw a lot of the teachers do, and had gained the habit of doing himself.
Once Malfoy was able to make a small spurt of flame, Kakashi left it at that.
The exams arrived. Everyone wanted to go outside and lounge, backs to the soft, verdant green grass with several pints of pumpkin juice and laughing with friends as they watched the giant squid propel itself dreamily across the lake.
Just like what some of the guards and Professor Hatake were doing right now. Right now. Right outside the window. Were they taunting them? YES THEY WERE!
When the third-years emerged from Transfiguration, many people had sworn they saw the guard laughing as he held a turtle with a willow-patterned shell, assisting Professor McGonagall in packing the reptiles away.
After a hasty lunch, with the guards standing in the Great Hall, they went back upstairs for Charms. Once that was over, they began studying for other exams. The guard by then had been known to point out a few mistakes in their notes in a voice that barely carried beyond a whisper, assist them in studying, and of course, telling them to cheat with style. No flashy, or possibly easy to detect skills here, he suggested a few techniques he nostalgically remembered seeing others use during his Chuunin exam.
But of course, he had the best. No one, not even Morino Ibiki could've resisted him at his old pouty-lip trick. But then again, he was seven years old at the time. He made no mention of this, or of his own method of cheating.
Next morning, the guards were quite relaxed, thank-you-very-much. Hagrid had provided more flobberworms, and the guards were content to sit down on the grass at talk among themselves. They had Potions that afternoon, and thanks to the guard's advice, Harry's Confusing Concoction had thickened sufficiently, and he was able to hide his victorious smirk as Snape scowled, but put something that looked like a '100' on his notes. Harry had put a protection charm on his cauldron. Just in case Snape wanted to vanish the potion, again.
Midnight came and went. The guard had been very particular about the position of the planets and such. Next morning, History of Magic; Harry was glad for Florean Fortescue's help on medieval witch-hunts, and well as the guard's assistance on trolls and goblins.
It had seemed that only the guard had been listening to Binns while everyone else fell asleep, aside from Hermione. This, Harry found very disturbing, since he could not imagine staying awake in History of Magic for more than 5 minutes. He was almost as bad as Hermione. At least the guard's accounts were more interesting though, spiced with random comments about bloodshed, arson, troll boogies, and odd goblin customs he'd heard Binns describe once everyone else had been too busy sleeping to remember.
Wednesday afternoon meant Herbology. The guard did not seem to be good at Herbology, at all. Harry was quite disappointed, but then again the guard had more clothes than they did, and probably did not want to get stuck inside the greenhouse to the point of overheating, which explained why the guard always stood by the half-open door to the greenhouse. It wasn't just to guard them from Black; it was to take advantage of the breeze.
On Thursday morning, Professor Lupin and Professor Hatake had conjured the oddest Defense against the Dark Arts exam ever. It was a sort of obstacle course/maze. They had to cross a deep pool containing a grindylow, with stepping stones that moved in a most unpredictable pattern. After that, cross a series of potholes containing Red Caps, squish their way across a patch of marsh while ignoring a hinkypunk, and then climb into an old trunk and battle with a boggart.
Harry was not surprised to see that the guard was conspicuously avoiding the boggart's trunk. He didn't blame him. Harry had managed to do it well, but Ron was just happy to see there were no Acromantulas in the test and passed with full marks. Hermione passed as well; outstandingly despite a particularly nasty moment when she fell into the grindylow's pool and had to fight her way back out.
Later, it was Divination. The guard appeared to hate Trelawney with a burning passion like a thousand suns. Harry wondered what about the boggle-eyed woman the guard hated so much, but then disregarded it. He didn't like Trelawney either.
At long last, they were called. Kakashi gave a signal he would he waiting downstairs. Harry went ahead, and as was his tendency, he proceeded to make up a story. When the time was about to end, Harry was about to leave when Trelawney gasped and wheezed in a voice most unlike her own. He wheeled around and stared at her.
"It will happen tonight! The pivot point is now; the future depends on the alliance of the Grims. Cry havoc, and let loose the Dogs of War! The Dark Mark rises in the sky, and only the Alliance of the Four Houses will prevent the Evil One's return! Beware the traitor who hides in the shadows, beware the rat and snake. Look carefully at the path you take, for what you think is real might not be so, listen first before you go. The rat is loose, and on his way, the snake's bite will soon be fatal. Do not be afraid to ask for help, though help comes in unlikely places."
Suddenly, Trelawney's eyes cleared, and she blinked furiously as she sent him away. Harry, very much disturbed. Was that her idea of a joke? Still, he memorized what he had heard just in case he would have to talk to professor Dumbledore about it. It wouldn't do after all, if it was true, and it was lost.