Author Note: Thanks to everybody who's asked to become part of my next story...I can assure you that you've all been added into it and I'm slowly working my way through all your ideas. As for those of you who don't know...I am now working on 'Randomness - The Story' and you're welcome to become a part of that story yourselves. Just let me know you want to by telling me if your male or female, what sweets drive you crazy or can be used as a bribe, and what sorts of random things you want to do. Remeber, randomness has no limits, so it can be as crazy as you want it to be!

But now on with this...and I appologise for the bad language and innuendo (I mean no offence to anyone of course), so please don't sue me?

Enjoy!

oOo

Note to self: Never, ever, EVER leave Jack and Rose in the TARDIS alone again! Especially not with a book on how to make paper aeroplanes and a stack of scrap paper!

Reason: The entire TARDIS will end up covered, waist deep in paper aeroplanes and paper balls.

oOo

"Hey Jack, wanna see me do a card trick?" Rose asked one day, as she walked into the Control Room carrying an arm full of stuff, which she dumped to one side.

"Sure," Jack nodded, and even the Doctor looked up from what he was doing. He always did like a bit of magic now and then.

"Ok, pick a card...any card, but don't show me," she said, fanning a pack of cards out face down for him. Jack picked a card, looked at it and showed it to the Doctor before putting it back in the pack.

"Ok, remember that card," Rose said as she went over to the table where she'd dumped the stuff. "Now earlier, I made a prediction about which card you would pick."

She picked up a large banner and let the bottom drop to the floor so that it clearly showed the 3 of spades. "Was your card the 3 of spades?"

"No," Jack and the Doctor laughed together.

"Bugger," Rose exclaimed. "Ok, what was your card?"

"The 4 of spades," Jack replied and Rose narrowed her eyes.

"So you mean we're arguing over 1 bloody spade?" she snapped, and with that she pulled a garden spade from behind the banner. "Sort that out smart arse!"

Jack's mouth fell open and the Doctor laughed even harder.

oOo

Hey Rose, are you going to your mum's house while we're here?" the Doctor asked Rose as they walked through the streets of 2006 London.

"Nah," Rose replied. "Not my cup of tea."

"What?" the Doctor asked, gobsmacked. "You love dragging me to your place to see your Mum!"

"Yeah, well my Grandad's round for the weekend."

"And what's so bad about that?"

"Well, he went to the doctor's the other day, and apparently he can only get excited by putting his willy in a hot mug of water...it's not my cup of tea. That's all I'm saying."

oOo

Note to self: Never, ever, EVER hide diary in a clothing catalogue, especially when Rose decides she needs a new pair of jeans!

Reason: Pretty self explanatory!

oOo

Rose and Jack were still on the name translator a little later, and Jack realised that they hadn't done the Doctor's name.

"Ok...what do I put as his surname?" Rose asked.

"Doctor?" Jack suggested with a shrug, so Rose typed in Doctor.

"D-O-C-T-O-R...That means 'right'. Now a first name...He doesn't have one."

"The?" Jack suggested.

"Ok. T-H-E..." Rose typed. "Uh-oh."

"What?" Jack asked.

"That means 'always'."

oOo

Rose was looking along the Doctor's bookshelf in his room one day for something to read. (She'd read the entire library twice, because she was so bored.)

She pulled out one book on Gallifreyan Karate and let it drop open to a page, which she began copying, completely unaware that the Doctor was watching from the doorway.

He cleared his throat and she shrieked, spinning on the spot to face him.

"You know, if you want to learn Karate, it's better to let someone teach you, rather than use a book."

"I don't need someone to teach me. I can defend myself perfectly well thankyou," she snapped.

"Oh yeah? You know, in a real fight, you'de be easy to beat. I can read your every move!" he said with a smug grin as Rose snatched up the book and headed for the door.

"Yeah?" she replied as she reached it. "Well read this!" and she whacked him hard over the head with the book.

oOo

Note to self: Never, ever, EVER take Jack and Rose to the North Pole and plant the idea of a snowball fight in their head.

Reason: You end up looking like a walking snowman and spend three days in bed with flu!

oOo

Back on the beach, the Doctor had resisted the urge to drown himself in the little puddle, and now he was down inside the hole, carving patterns into the soft, wet sand. Jack was standing waist deep in the sea trying to catch fish in his little red bucket, and Rose was busy making a sand castle, complete with shell windows and a driftwood draw bridge.

The Doctor was happily carving some Gallifreyan numerals when he heard Rose shriek with laughter. A moment later her head appeared over the edge of the hole and there were tears of laughter in her eyes.

"You'll never guess what!" she said and then fell into the hole, giggling madly. The Doctor caught her and set her back on her feet.

"What?" he asked.

"Well, I was making my castle and this french guy wearing sandals comes along and asks me what I'm doing, so we get talking and after a while I realise I don't know his name. Guess what his name was!"

"I dunno," the Doctor replied, wondering how a frenchman's name could have Rose in such hysterics.

"Phillipe Phillop!"

The Doctor laughed so hard he caused a cave in.

oOo

A few hours later, Rose was back to making her castle, having shaken all the sand off, Jack had gone to get ice creams and the Doctor was re-digging his hole.

Suddenly Jack came running back towards them.

"Doctor! I've just seen this guy hitting this woman round the head with a cricket bat!"

"What!" the Doctor and Rose cried together.

"Yeah, and then this policeman came, took the bat off the guy and started to hit the woman round the head with it instead."

"Oh my god!" Rose exclaimed.

"Yeah, and then to top it off, the crocodile came along and ate all the sausages!" Jack finished.

The Doctor and Rose frowned, thought about what he had said for a moment, then Rose got up, grabbed a plank of driftwood and chased Jack away, screaming things like "Don't do that to me you idiot! You had me all worried!"

"I don't get it," the Doctor muttered as he watched Jack jump off the pier in a futile attempt to escape Rose.