I went quickly to my room to wash myself, and then it was time to go to the cafeteria. The blond Gargina was already sitting at a table waiting for me. I walked to her. She pulled out a recorder that was as big as her palm –that was surely because it had to be able to record thought-speech too- and opened the interview saying: "Well, Visser, could you tell me how did you become the thirdly most powerful general in our empire?" I sneered and told my life story shortly to Gargina.
"Some humans say that power excites women. What do you think, does this hold water among us Yeerks?" Gargina went on.
(Well, there has always been eager creatures around me), I answered evasively. (Both females and males, although.)
Gargina looked disappointed when I had said the last phrase. However, she cheered up fast and asked straightly: "How many sex partners have you had in the time you've been in that host body?"
I was quiet for a long time. I counted. Finally I felt so frustrated that I cried: (I do not remember! A spontaneous guess is 150!)
Now Gargina looked like she had got an extra load of Kandrona rays. "What's the gender distribution in this number?"
(About two thirds of females), I estimated.
"So you like then more?" Gargina came up with a stupid question.
(Yes, I do.)
Gargina giggled. "What kind of woman does make you hot then?"
What could I answer to that question? (Well… attractive and elegant… self-confident… and crazy over me!) I up and said.
"Have you found that sort of creature yet?"
(I think Jill comes closest.)
"How many times in a night?"
(What?)
"How many acts you can do in a night!" Gargina almost shouted.
(Oh yes. Ten!) I smirked. It wasn't quite true, but you can always lie.
Gargina's eyes opened wide. "Oh! You're in a good form! I envy Jill. What do you wear when you're sleeping?"
I couldn't believe my ears. (Nothing, you dapsen!) I snapped. (If you have not realized, I am an Andalite-Controller, so I wear clothes just in exception cases!)
For a moment Gargina just stared at me. Then she pulled herself together again and asked carefully: "How have you got your gorgeous muscles?"
(They are my natural benefits come with the host), I used the words I had heard on the Earth, although I wasn't really sure what it exactly meant. Anyway, Gargina laughed and asked the next question: "What's your wildest fantasy like?"
I laughed viciously and whispered it to her. I saw her expressions changing from excitement to pure horror and disgust. As she had got over it, she wanted to know my greetings to the readers of Seyrane. I thought for a moment and said with a grin: (Believe it or not, it is hard to be this good-looking.)
Later in the evening Medrash came fetching me to a notorious Seyrane party. I followed her to the hall behind the studios. There was apparently the whole editorial staff of Seyrane there. The ones who usually wore clothes had taken them mostly off. Ifrish waddled to me and shouted out: "Hey, Wisser Dree! It'ss lovely you're here!" She pointed behind her and said: "Mussig, drink, general fun and, of goursse…" she grinned, "oatmeal."
I morphed into my human morph and walked to one crowd. Though the night had just begun, they were already in a strong oatmeal intoxication. Now I realized for the first time that there were also male Controllers in the staff of Seyrane, a couple of men were sitting even with this diverse lot of females.
"Hellooo, Visser…" a young woman giggled. "Join us! Take some oatmeal…"
I don't usually condescend to confuse my head with that glop, but I decided to make an exception now. I felt the substance going up to my brain while my body was touched by countless pairs of hands –including the hands of the males…
On the next morning I woke up in my own body in the middle of the floor with a red PVC suit on, fluffy pink handcuffs around my wrists and blood under my tail, and without any memory of the past night.
When I finally managed to get back to the Earth, everyone who dared asked me thoroughly what it had been like to be in the photo sessions of Seyrane. I answered shortly and without details, but after the seventh Controller who had asked just the same I lost my temper and yelled that I would kill the next one who even mentions Seyrane to me.
Of course, Jill was an exception. I met her in the evening on the Blade ship and in the beginning she said nothing about Seyrane. She just saluted me in a sweet formal style: (Good evening, Visser Three, sir. I am glad you are back. How was your travel?)
I couldn't hold back laughter. (I am away for a couple of days and you start to speak to me like that. Are you going to continue within the next night?)
Jill laughed too. Carefully, but she did. ("Do you want that I massage you, Visser? I am pleased of that it feels good for you.") She stepped closer to me. (And would you like to tell me what happened in the Seyrane photo sessions, Visser?)
I smirked. (Will see.) We walked together to my own room. And I told Jill what it had been like in the Seyrane photo sessions. With details. All right –I didn't tell so much about the party.