The Assignment

4?

BleuWoulfe & Cobalt Blue

Jason looked down at the computer screen and thought back to the exchange he shared with Billy earlier this afternoon. His "little bro" had opened up to him in a way he never thought possible, and revealed a deeper depth of feelings that he never realized was there. That of course only served to fuel the fire and depth of his confession. Could Billy have meant what I think he meant?

It was something to consider; something that he would have to think about- after he finished paper for Mrs. Appleby's class. Again, he looked at the paper and thought about how Billy's mother's death as a result of a drunk driver had affected him. For sure, it forged the personality of his friend in ways that he couldn't even imagine, but how did it affect him personally?

Well, for starters, it affected the way he, and all of their friends for that matter, dealt with Billy. Most people, who knew Billy, thought that Billy didn't miss his mother because he never spoke about her. Jason, Kim and the rest knew differently. Billy missed his mother so much that he didn't talk about her because it hurt him so much. Jason knew that the hurt had never really gone away for his green-eyed friend. It had just subsided enough to let him function.

Jason looked back to the computer screen and began to type:

HOW A DRUNK DRIVER CHANGED MY LIFE PERSONALLY

By Jason Lee Scott

I can honestly say that a drunk driver has changed my life. Although I personally have not lost a relative to that kind of tragedy, I am very close to someone who has. I met him right after his mother died in an accident caused by someone driving under the influence of alcohol. He was sad and hurting and needed a friend. Deciding to be one was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My friend is a very quiet and reserved person who seldom talks about personal matters such as feelings and emotions. However, I know that they run deep. I've known him for over 5 years now and he's grown to be even closer to me than a best friend can be. There are times when he's my rock, the person I go to when I'm having a rough time. The person with whom I would spend hours talking to about the most important things in the world to a kid. He's someone for whom I would go to any lengths and I know that he feels the same. Even though he's actually six weeks older than me, he's my "little bro".

My other friends and I are all so close that we can talk about almost anything in the world without any fear of censure or hazing. But we don't speak of this particular friend's mother out of respect for him. He has had so much pain and loss in his life that we would never choose to bring him more by dredging up old hurts and sorrows.

Sometimes I wonder though, if we are actually doing the right thing. I wonder if there are times when he would like to discuss his mother, but feels that we aren't interested in hearing about her. I know I've seen pictures of her and him and his dad. I even know her name: Rachel. But beyond that I know very little. Because my friend is so important to me, I would like to know more, but am afraid to ask. Not because of fear of being told no, but from fear of causing him any more hurt.

In the end, it simply a sign of how unfair life really is that this caring, brilliant, and handsome young man has to face his future without the guiding force of a woman I know had to have been such an important part of his life. And to me that is one of the greatest losses in the world. In the end, I would have to say that a drunk driver's actions were a defining force in my friend's life. I think on the day that she died, a part of my friend died, and that is something that can never be replaced. I wish could I take away the hurt and pain, but I can't. All I can do is be there for him if he ever needs me to be- to be the rock in his life that he's always been in mine.

Jason sighed and leaned back. He was wondering about just how much to say in the essay. He didn't want to give too much away, but he wanted to be clear that the death of Rachel Cranston had thoroughly affected Bill for the rest of his life.

Before he could carry the thought further, his mother called up, "Jason, you have a visitor."

Jason got up and went downstairs to find Kim waiting for him. "Hiya," she said.

"What's up?" Jason asked.

"Just wondering how your paper was coming. I'm sort of stuck on mine," she said.

Jason shrugged, "I just finished up the rough draft. You can take a look if you like. It might give you an idea."

"Thanks," she said.

"No problem. You can tell me if it's any good," Jason said. "Come on up."

Kim followed Jase up the stairs to his room. He gestured toward the chair at the desk and said, "There it is." He sat down on the bed quietly as she read the essay. When she finished she turned and looked at him. "Jase, are you sure what you're saying here."

Jason shook his head and answered, "Yeah."

Kim said quietly, "Jason, it sounds less like a declaration of friendship and more like a declaration of…"

"What do you think?" Jason cut her off.

"I think that you didn't write this for Mrs. Appleby to read, as much as you wrote if for Billy to read."

Jason nodded. "What do you think?" he asked again.

"I don't know what you're asking me, Jase. Do you want my support? You've always had that, both of you. Do you want my approval? You don't need that. You never have."

"I just want to know what kind of grade you think I'll get."

"I think it's good. You should get at least a B, if not an A. Normally I would say have Billy or even Trini check it over, but I'm not sure you would want to do that."

"No, I probably wouldn't," Jason told her. "Look Kim, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this to yourself until I can talk to Bill."

"No problem," she said. "Look, if you need to talk. I'm all ears."

"I appreciate that, but I think Billy's got to get past his own essay before we can talk about this."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"I can wait. I've been waiting for quite a while."

"Okay," she looked down at her watch. "Eek! I didn't think it was that late. I got to get over to the day care pick up Kenny for Mom."

"Okay. I hope you at least got some ideas for your essay," he told her rising.

"I did," she replied coming to the door. Raising herself up on tiptoes she gently kissed him on the cheek. "And good luck, Jase."

"Thanks." Jason let her out and sat down to re-read what he'd written. He figured that since Billy had asked him to read his essay first, he'd return the favor. He just hoped that Billy would get it, and not run scared by what Jase had revealed in his writings. He called Billy to solicit his opinion; he only hoped he had done things the right way.

Billy picked up on the third ring, and was pleased to hear Jason's baritone on the other end of the line. "Cranston residence, this is Bill speaking." Once he knew it was his old friend, his tone warmed up quite a bit… "Hi Jason, what could I do for you?" Billy said as he balanced a cup of coffee in his other hand while he navigated back to the kitchen.

Jason hesitated for a split second, then answered Billy's query. "I finished my assignment, and I'd like your feedback Bill. I'd really like your honest opinion on it if you don't mind." Jason awaited the answer like a man who had started his walk on the last mile, and knew the executioners chair awaited him at the end of the path. Bill was quiet a little too long for Jason's liking, but eventually spoke up in a thick voice.

"Sure Jason, I'd be honored to do so. I appreciate that you wrote something for this assignment, you didn't have to do it you know." Billy said after he'd regained his composure and taken a couple swallows of his coffee.

Jason beamed on the other end of the line, despite the fact that Billy couldn't have seen his smile. "Do you want me to come over there, or do you want me to pick you up later?" Jason leaned against the doorframe of his room as he nearly sagged in relief. He knew the hard part was yet to come, to deal with Billy's reaction once he'd read his work… his mental wandering was interrupted by Billy's soft tenor cutting into his consciousness.

"I'll come over in a bit Jason, I just need to leave dad a note and grab some homework if you don't mind us working together on our coursework after I've read your essay." Billy

viciously slammed the door on the part of his mind that wanted to make more of Jason's offer than what was there. Instead he focused his attention on the conversation, and resolved to deal with his errant fantasies later. "I'll see you in about a half hour Jason, and thank you."

Jason smiled before he said goodbye. "Don't thank me yet little bro', wait until you've read my essay before you say or do anything. I'll see you soon; I'll put on some coffee for you." Jason hung up, and left the conversation in a comfortable spot at least until Billy got there and read his work. He puttered around the house until the doorbell rang, and announced Billy's arrival. Jason opened the door and let him in, and allowed him to get comfortable before he slid a steaming cup of Columbian over to Billy and sat adjacent to him.

Bill took the proffered mug with a thankful smile and enjoyed the coffee in comfortable silence. He allowed himself a mental grin as he realized Jason had made his coffee just how he liked it, dark and somewhat sweet. After a couple more moments of silence, he looked up to his old friend and gave him a searching look before he requested Jason's essay to read over.

"May I look at your essay Jason? I'm actually kind of anxious to read it if I may." Billy asked quietly as he palmed his coffee mug to give himself something to do with his hands.

"Sure, it's still on my screen upstairs. I didn't print it yet Bill, if you don't mind coming up to read it."

Billy shrugged and gathered his laptop bag, and mug and followed Jason to his room in silence then sat down where Jason's laptop sat on his desk. Jason waited for a moment in the doorway before he left the bedroom while Bill read his essay. Bill turned his head and quirked an eyebrow at Jason's retreat, but left it at that while he turned to read Jason's work.

Jason waited outside at the top of the stairs while Bill read the paper. It wasn't long so Bill should be able to have finished in just a couple of minutes. However, he wanted to give his genius friend a chance to completely absorb what he'd written. He really hoped he wasn't throwing too much at once at Billy, but this was something he was starting to really need to get off his chest. He'd considered discussing it with Tommy, but wasn't sure how the brooding Ranger leader would react to it. This was the kind of thing that needed to be kept between the people involved, or at least long and close friends like Kim before they went to out for general consumption. Taking a deep breath, he went back into the bedroom to see what Billy thought of the piece.

Billy sat stock still, deep in thought after he read Jason's work. His friend's words and what was also between the words. He sat there for a long time, until he heard Jason's footsteps on the floor stop about two feet into the room. He knew what Jason had done, knew what chance his best friend had taken in opening up so much. He swiped a hand over his eyes, surprised to find moisture on his fingers when he tried to compose himself.

Billy stood up and faced Jason, a tense silence between the two young men before Billy crossed the room in a heartbeat and almost knocked Jason down with the force of his embrace. He latched onto Jason and let out a sniff before the floodgates opened and he started bawling like a child. Jason who normally would have been shocked at Billy's display just held his friend closer, and let him ride out the storm.

Once Billy was done, Jason closed and locked his door before he led Billy to his bed and wiped his face. Bill looked down partially in shame at how he'd lost control like that and partially in fear at how Jason would react to his sudden outburst of emotion. Jason stared into his eyes, and wondered who would break the silence first. Billy hadn't been that emotional in years with him, and he hoped his essay didn't do that to his friend. He didn't want to cause Billy any more pain, and the crying jag unhinged him just a little.

Finally Billy tentatively took Jason's other hand in his own and spoke quietly, so quietly Jason had to strain to hear him. "I apologize; I didn't mean to drench you Jason. Your words had a profound effect on me, as well as what you said with no words at all. I hope that I didn't misread your intent Jason, because if I do what I want to do and it's wrong I may just kill myself or worse if I wake up and this was a dream I'll go mad."

"No dream, not a dream bro." Jason said as he gently caressed Billy's face and tightened his grip on his hand. "Please, I didn't want to hurt you Billy I didn't want to make you cry again. Forgive me."

Billy didn't say anything but turned Jason's palm up and kissed it gently. He took a deep breath and looked up at his oldest friend before he took a leap and kissed him gently, as he put his heart into what started out as a tender kiss full of love he'd kept in check for so long that finally was allowed to the surface became a soulful kiss that didn't end until Billy had to breathe.

He opened his eyes and awaited Jason's reaction to his very un-Billy like actions. He'd either kiss him back or show him the door. Jason blinked rapidly once he realized some oxygen was on its way to his brain again, and looked into Billy's eyes, finding an expectant expression as well as some trepidation. He let his forehead meet Billy's and sighed in relief before he kissed Billy again, this time in a gentle way that led to them entwined on Jason's bed, face to face and flushed with passion but also love between two old friends.

Jason ran a thumb over his friends face for a while before he could speak without choking up. He turned over as he put Bill on his back and leaned over him so he could see Billy's reaction to his declaration now that he dared to say the words. "You read it just as I'd hoped Bill. I was afraid of how you'd react, that you'd flip out and go to ground or that you didn't feel the same. It would have killed me inside, but I had to tell you somehow that I love you Billy and I always will."

As soon as he finished speaking Jason found him self flat on his back with his arms full of Billy who had hugged him as hard as he could and was whispering thank you in his ear. "Thank you, thank you Jason." was whispered in his ear before he was soundly kissed again for longer than he could breathe. Once they came up for air Billy laid his head on Jason's chest and smiled to himself. He almost fell asleep to the rhythm of Jason's hand threading through his hair until Jason tapped his shoulder gently. "Hey, if your going to sleep on me turn over Billy you're hogging the bed." Jason said with a mischievous grin.

"You're an evil man Jason, waking up a triceratops to make room for the tyrannosaurus so it can lay down to sleep." Billy grumbled good naturedly as he snuggled up to Jason, kicked off his shoes and pulled Jason to him so they could sleep for a bit before they were called to dinner. Jason laid a kiss on Billy's cheek before joining him in a nap, a smile on his face.