Fic Dedication: Still for Attorney, who doubts whether this is NaruHina. I'm hoping that the future chapters will erase that reservation. Miss ya!
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Sakura looked at the Rokudaime sideways, assessing his mood. Ever since they left the noodles stall, he had been strangely quiet and contemplative. The triangular Hokage hat shielded whatever his usually transparent azure eyes had to say. He didn't even speak much in the council meeting, making her do all the talking, with a few 'Is that correct, Hokage-sama?' questions she threw his way. And he would only nod dumbly, as if only a fraction of his mental manifestation was present in the meeting.
Something happened after he left the stall, she was sure, but what exactly was that?
"H-Hokage-sama?" she murmured softly. As she expected, he didn't even budge. He was still staring hard at the floor of their coach, his mind drifting in his own undecipherable river of thoughts.
She bit her lower lip. Seeing her usually cheery childhood friend in this unusual melancholic mood was certainly disheartening her too. After all, it was he, Uzumaki Naruto, whom she regarded as her pillar of strength when she finally accepted that Uchiha Sasuke was just not meant for her, no matter how much she loved the latter. It was Naruto who taught her to smile bravely amidst the pain, and to remember that she did not exist merely for someone else.
That first and foremost, she must love her own self first before she could love anyone else properly.
It was a most difficult lesson to learn. All her life, she believed in a single dream: that her fate was to be with Sasuke… forever. When her dream shattered into many tiny parts, she didn't know which piece must she pick up first. For a while, she thought she would forever be suspended in her sorrow and brokenness.
But the caring man he was, Naruto could not just stand around and watch her self-destruction.
One fateful afternoon, he paid a visit her in her bedroom, where she had opted to remain for some days already, barely accepting food or social calls. The Godaime, perhaps respecting her grief, allowed her to do as she wished and even declared her inactivity as her 'vacation'. The young Rokudaime though, had another opinion—one that he wasted no time to tell her in his visit.
"Sakura-chan, what are you doing to yourself?" he asked, gazing at her up and down. "Hey, hey, do you know that your hair looks ABSOLUTELY sticky?"
She didn't answer.
"And the eyebags! Man, I can just imagine how many cucumbers should you put there to cure it. Thank Kami-sama you only have two eyes, or else, you'll have to eat salad every night so you the leftovers won't go to waste!"
"Naruto, I am not in the mood," she said quietly. "I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to leave."
He paused, and then pouted. "I'm a Hokage! You can't make me leave!"
"Please." There was an edge already in her voice.
"Demo…" His eyes softened pleadingly. "Promise me you'll get up and leave this room already."
Her fists crumpled the blanket that she was already clutching tightly. "You think it's that easy. What do you know about losing your happiness? You always find other things that can make you smile. B-But… but…" Her eyes turned misty. "…as for me… I have only one. The only one I love… and I can't… I can't have him."
Once more, the news of Sasuke's last sighting and his supposed vow that he would never come back to Konoha anymore washed all over her.
She had, in no way, thought just how heartbreaking the word 'never' was… until Sasuke said it.
Wiping her tears angrily, she faced the blond man. "How else can you tell me to go on living when I lost my one true happiness already?"
He looked at her for a moment, his ice blue eyes kind and understanding. And then softly, he spoke.
"True happiness is not derived from another person, Sakura-chan. It is within you. That important person may be gone, but your important feelings will remain, and if you will it, forever." He eyed her intently. "Were you happy when you loved that guy?"
She nodded.
"Did it change when he left us?" he pressed.
She shook her head.
"You still love him now, right?" When he saw her nod, he smiled. "Then smile, Sakura-chan. Those feelings that make you happy were unchanged, therefore, you shouldn't have any reason not to be happy. It doesn't matter where he is. Just continue loving him as you want to, and you have lost nothing." He pointed to his heart. "His memories will always stay in here. And if you need to remind yourself all about happiness, just look for him in your heart."
The hump that the wheel encountered jolted Sakura back into reality. However, the Hokage didn't even seem to notice the sudden force that nearly threw him forward.
She exhaled audibly. Naruto had did a lot for her since childhood—something she was only starting to appreciate now. And if there was anything right now that could help know what was burdening his mind so she could help him, she would gladly give.
It was unlike the kind of love she carries for the Uchiha, but she acknowledged that she would do anything for him… and his own happiness.
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A son!
The words had echoed hundreds of times already in his mind, but the impact was yet to subside.
Naruto closed his eyes and tried his best to imagine what could have happened that led to that unexpected consequence. He only succeeded in provoking a migraine.
While ignoring the strains of his cerebral muscles, he ran through his mind the faces of women he had contacts with. The most intimate one to count was his friendly dates with Sakura, in which he was sure he had brought her back to her apartment untouched.
So then… a son?
Surely the ramen cook would not dare make a joke about illegitimate sons and pregnant women. It was not also possible that the mother of the child had lied, for who would lie on her own deathbed?
But then, why couldn't he remember anything about a mother or her child?
He leaned back absent-mindedly. He knew that the only answer to his questions was an investigation. And with practically nothing right now but an unexpected confessed narration from a stranger, he knew discovering the truth at this moment may not be easy.
Ah, he had to start looking for the mother first.
"There was also quiet pride in her eyes, and a lot of love in her eyes whenever she would tell her in passing how she never regretted the moment of untamed passion with the father of the child."
His heartbeat quickened when he remembered that part of the story. If that was true, then…
…then the more that he should know who that woman was.
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Just half an hour ago, the Hokage was uncharacteristically silent. But now, to Sakura's astonishment, he was suddenly energetic. She noticed it the moment he stepped down from their carriage—his excited steps and eager face gave him away, despite his still refusal to speak.
He dismissed her at once when she tried to follow him. When she craned her neck to see where he was going, she found that he was heading for the Jounin Mission Office.
Now what would Naruto do there?
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"This is not going to be easy," was all Hatake Kakashi could say after he had finished explaining what he wanted him to do.
"Just try to get a census of that place," Naruto said desperately. "Try to get the names of the people who lived there recently."
"The place you're pointing me to is a forest. Unless bears and other wild animals talk, I won't get anything. Besides, that area is not a residential place, so isolated individuals who set up homes there have slim chances of getting counted." Kakashi shrugged. "Maybe she just doesn't like to pay our village taxes; or perhaps, she wants to hide from Christmas carolers. Smart move."
He didn't even crack a smile. Studying the continent map, he surveyed the area he encircled earlier. "Kakashi-sensei, tell me, had I been in this place already?"
The ninja peered down at where he was pointing at. "No. But your convoy passes there whenever you go out to visit other villages."
"I see." Now the blond Hokage was in deep thought once more. "How come I can't remember?" he wondered, tapping his pencil on the tattered paper.
The silver-haired Jounin gestured to his forehead. "There may be some things that haven't returned to your memory yet. Give yourself some time—your accident's wounds would heal itself all in good time."
"A-Accident…" he murmured softly. Yes, he knew from the stories of Granny Tsunade and Sakura that, indeed, he met an accident after he escaped a failed ambush by some rebel Waterfall village soldiers. But when trying to recall the details on his own, he fails.
The Godaime had assured him that his amnesia was temporary, and that he would be able to retrieve his memories sooner or later. For the meantime, he had to make do with Sakura's supervision over his everyday dispense of Hokage duties. Taking a vacation to rest and recover was out of the question –it would not look good for the Konoha Village if its highest ranking official would not be seen working just because of one assassination attempt orchestrated by minor rebel groups.
Kakashi suddenly spoke, breaking his contemplation. "I'll do my best to find the woman… and your son. Just concentrate on running our office. You left a lot of paper works while you were undergoing treatment."
The blond sighed. "Half of it belongs to Granny Tsunade's days."
"Well, it's yours now!" The Copy Ninja made it sound like a grand prize from a game show.
"Kakashi-sensei?"
"Hmm?"
"I still can't stop thinking of her… and our son." He looked out at the window, a pensive expression on his youthful face. "I wonder what our baby looks like. Does he take something after me? Does he have scratched cheeks like me too?
"I also want to see her." He took a deep breath. "The mother of my son. I-If only… if only I can… I want to know who she is… and I want to know… why, of all men… she chose me… to be her baby's father." His voice softened. "And… and I want to ask… if the old man was telling the truth when she said… when she said that she loves me."
The Jounin had to smile. "Ah."
"It feels… wonderful," the Rokudaime continued, speaking quietly. "To know that someone loved me once in this lifetime. Even if she's not here anymore, she left me a living memory. She left me a reason to stay happy." Determination filled his cerulean eyes. "I will find our son. Even if it means spending the rest of my life looking for him, I will do so."
The white-haired man patted his shoulder lightly. "Why spend the rest of your life looking when I can have the intelligence reports sometime next, next week? Relax."
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"Hahaha! Did I say next, next week?"
Naruto eyed his sensei dryly. The Copy Ninja had dropped by the office that certain Friday night when he was the lone soul in the Hokage Office and everyone else was in a sing-along joint, drinking beer while croaking along the lyrics pasted on top of skimpily-dressed women walking aimlessly down the beach.
In a nutshell, the visit was unexpected; quite ironic, since he had been eagerly waiting for him to drop by. Three months ago, that is.
"I forgot to tell you that I might come late," said Kakashi, smiling apologetically. He sat down across him and stared at his plate of chicken lollipops which he was eating when he suddenly, unceremoniously, dropped in from the window.
"No picking until you tell me what you've got for me," said Naruto, pulling the plate away from his arm's length.
Kakashi scratched his chin. "Very well." He placed a pile of scrolls on the table.
The blond eagerly peeked at the contents. "Is this the information you got about my family?"
"If you have the genes of a bacterium, then yeah, that would be quite a nostalgic read for you." He pointed to the title.
"Heeeey!" This seemed more like that journal that Sakura relishes reading every issue. The lone sentence that his eye caught contained at least eight foreign medical terms already.
"That should teach you to not touch things that aren't yours," laughed Kakashi. "I just put those down because Sakura asked me to help her carry these stuffs to her cubicle and I still have to talk to you."
"So where is MY info?" Naruto asked, groaning.
"Right here." Kakashi took out a small piece of paper and handed it to him. "I looked for people in that place you told me. There were only a handful of residents, and the distances of their shacks are quite far from each other. They hardly know each other."
"So have you found anything about a young woman? A lady with a son?" he pressed.
"Negative," said Kakashi, shaking his head. Most of these people are old folks who shun single parenthood. I just ended up playing shogi with them."
"Then what is this that you brought me?" Naruto asked, staring at the crumpled paper while debating whether he should still read it or not.
Kakashi continued to speak, ignoring the Hokage's question. "I checked the village records for births, did background checks on every mother of registered newly-born infants… it took quite a while. A month, I think. Nothing corresponds to the circumstances that you've told me. Besides, according to your story, the woman had no companions, so the background check was doomed to fail from the start. I just took a chance… like some other people adopting your baby."
"Then…?"
"I tried my luck on other official records. When I checked the list of deaths, I found a name that sparked my interest." He motioned for him to read the sheet.
Slowly, Naruto unfolded the paper and read the contents silently. After a few moments, his eyes widened.
"H-Hyuuga… Hinata…" Somehow, the moment the name escaped his lips, a cold hand seemed to touch his heart. He could feel it in his heart—he knew this person very well, although her face and everything else about her was beyond his mind's limited reach as of this moment,
Kakashi nodded. "No one informed our office about her death—a strange thing, considering that she is the daughter of one of the most important families of this village."
"H-How did this person die?" Naruto asked, all the while his mind racing furiously.
"The official records didn't state the cause. I did an investigation of my own, which led me to the person who informed them of her death. From there, I was led to where she used to live."
"She lived by the forest," asked the Hokage, his voice merely seeking confirmation.
"Alone," nodded Kakashi. "No one else knew about her, as well as her situation—"
Naruto's fists clenched,
"—except one." The jounin looked straight at him. "Her cousin, Hyuuga Neji."
Naruto's brows knitted together. For awhile, silence ruled the office. Until finally, the Hokage looked up, firm decisiveness written fiercely on his face. "Kakashi-sensei…"
The man looked back at him expectantly.
"I'm leaving for a few days," he announced. He had thought it over, and had finally resolved that he himself should find the rest of the missing pieces of this part of his life which was nearly forgotten.
The silver-haired jounin nodded with understanding. "Good luck, Hokage-sama."
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to be continued