Disclaimer: None of these characters or settings belong to me. Everything here is the creation of J. K. Rowling. I'm just playing around with them for my own amusement.

Chapter 2: A Perfectly Acceptable Solution

As the two professors walked rapidly off up the hall, Snape suddenly gave a frustrated yelp and went sprawling full length in the corridor, getting the wind knocked out of him rather severely.

McGonagall turned around and glared down at him. "Severus, please be careful how you go flinging my body around, will you? I'd like to get it back without too much damage being done to it."

As she bent to help Snape back to his feet, he frowned up at her and snarled, "I didn't decide to fall on my face on purpose, Minerva. These torture implements you call shoes simply went out from under me with no warning. How the hell do you women walk in these idiotic things anyway?"

McGonagall straightened up and frowned at her colleague who was now clutching the wall and examining his shoes with a sour expression on his face. "Really, Severus. You can find more things to complain about than any other person I've ever met! It's not like you're wearing stiletto heels or some such nonsense. Those are perfectly sensible shoes. Perhaps if you'd try actually walking in them instead of stalking about as you usually do, you wouldn't have any difficulty."

Snape straightened up and looked down his nose at her. "I do not stalk. I stride purposefully. An activity that would be life threatening in these absurd things. Do you have any footwear that doesn't have at least a two inch heel?"

McGonagall sighed. "What difference does it make? Do you really want to take the time to go change your shoes before we see Albus? He'll get this mess taken care of quickly, then you can have your own body back and not have to worry about what sort of shoes I choose to put on my feet."

With a ferocious glower, Snape whirled around and started up the corridor again, trailing a hand along the wall just in case. "Fine. Let's just get this over with as soon as possible. I'd hate to break your neck tripping over your feet in your ridiculous shoes."

McGonagall rolled her eyes and followed her body off up the corridor at a slightly slower pace than before.

They made their way up toward Dumbledore's office with no more serious mishaps. As they stepped onto the moving staircase behind the Gargoyle, Snape turned to his companion and hissed, "This is the most mortifying thing that's happened in a long time. I knew that hiring that Gryffindor imbecile would be a mistake, and I intend to insist that Albus fire him for this outrage."

McGonagall frowned as she stepped off the staircase in front of the Headmaster's door. "Don't be ridiculous, Severus. It was a simple accident. Remus didn't mean to harm us."

Snape opened his mouth to retort, lost his balance again as he came to the abrupt end of the moving staircase, and yelled in frustrated alarm as he found himself clutching at his colleague desperately while he unsuccessfully tried to regain his bodily control. This had the effect of knocking both of them into the door, which opened for them as they fell through it and landed on the floor of Dumbledore's office in a heap.

Snape was getting extremely fed up with the impossibility of balancing on McGonagall's foolish idea of proper shoes and, untangling himself from her sprawled form, he sat up and yelled, "This is gross incompetence, not a "simple" accident! The only thing simple about this whole situation is Lupin himself! The man's an idiot! He obviously couldn't cast a proper charm if his life depended on it!"

Aggravated far beyond normal by the situation she found herself in, McGonagall sat up and yelled back, "That's utter nonsense. Remus Lupin is highly competent. You're just prejudiced against him!"

Before Snape could reply, a throat cleared itself rather forcefully above his head, and he glanced up to see Albus Dumbledore with his hand still on the knob of his office door, staring down at the spectacle of two of his professors sitting on the floor in front of him and yelling at the top of their lungs at each other.

"Ah, Severus, Minerva…how nice to see both of you. May I offer you a sweet?"

Both professors gaped at him for a moment, then Snape opened his mouth and exclaimed, "I want that incompetent menace Lupin fired, Albus! This instant if not sooner!"

Dumbledore smiled down at the figure of his Deputy Headmistress and asked blandly, "And why is that, Severus?"

Two mouths fell open and two sets of eyeballs goggled at him. Then Snape whispered in awe, "How in the name of Merlin did you know who I really was?"

Dumbledore smiled gently and bent over to help his stunned professors to their feet.

"I listened to what you said, Severus. It was fairly obvious whose words I was hearing. I take it the reason you want Professor Lupin fired this time has something to do with the fact that you and Minerva seem to have somehow switched bodies?"

McGonagall sighed heavily. "Yes, Albus. Remus was using a Transposing charm in the staff lounge when Severus and I walked in and were accidentally hit by it. Frankly, I wish the man was incompetent. We might not be standing here as you see us if that was the case. However, the spell worked rather too well. Unfortunately, the counterspell didn't."

"Neither did anything else that idiot tried. He probably bought that wand he uses in a joke shop." Snape crossed his arms and glowered darkly at the universe in general.

Dumbledore nodded sympathetically, though his eyes twinkled with amusement. "I see. An unfortunate situation."

"Unfortunate!" spat Snape. "Is that all you have to say? We came here for your help Albus, and I, for one, would appreciate it if you'd treat this situation with the seriousness it deserves. We hoped that if someone who was a bit more competent cast the spell on us again, we'd revert back to our proper selves."

Ignoring Snape's bluster, Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully. "That sounds reasonable. May I ask why you came to me instead of Flitwick? He is the Charms professor, after all. I'd think he'd be the most logical person to cast the spell."

McGonagall kicked Snape in the ankle before he could say something scathing and replied, "We just felt more comfortable coming to you, Albus. We'd like to keep this quiet if possible. The fewer people who know about it, the better."

Snape glared at McGonagall and rubbed his abused ankle against his shin, contenting himself with thinking that by the time the bruises appeared and the true tenderness set in, any damage done would be McGonagall's problem not his. Then he sighed and looked at the Headmaster. "Well, Albus, can you help us?"

Dumbledore nodded and withdrew his wand. "I believe so, Severus. I'm certainly willing to try at any rate. Although, I must warn you that it has been a very long time since I've made use of that particular charm."

Snape and McGonagall glanced at each other and shrugged. "It's not likely to make things any worse, Albus. If you can't manage it, we can always go to Filius. So you might as well go ahead and try," stated McGonagall firmly.

"Very well." Dumbledore nodded and raised his wand. Then, just as he was about to cast the spell, the door to his office flew open and Remus Lupin threw himself into the room.

Lupin reached out and plucked the wand from Dumbledore's hand, exclaiming, "That would be a very bad idea, Headmaster. A very bad idea, indeed."

Snape looked ready to explode. "What the hell is your problem? First you set this plague on us, and now you interfere with Albus's attempt to lift it." He turned to Dumbledore and added, "If I kill him, who gets sent to Azkaban…me or my body?"

Dumbledore frowned warningly at him. "Severus."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Just a thought," he muttered darkly.

Dumbledore held out his hand for his wand. "I trust you have an explanation for this, Remus."

Lupin nodded as he handed over the wand. "Yes, sir, I do. I just checked the literature on this charm, and I found a reference to what can happen if it's accidentally cast on people. Which is something that the books strongly urge you to avoid. Apparently, the countercharm isn't powerful enough to reverse the spell under those circumstances, and if you keep casting the original spell it merely strengthens the effect. The two of you would remain stuck in each other's bodies for even longer, if the spell is cast on you again. In fact, after three or four castings, the effect could be… permanent."

Both Snape and McGonagall blanched rather severely at the thought.

After a moment of heavy silence, McGonagall asked quietly, "Is there a way to reverse the effect?"

Lupin nodded and grinned at them. "Absolutely. Do nothing. Apparently, it will wear off in approximately twenty-four hours."

Snape goggled at him. "Twenty-four hours! Are you insane? We're stuck this way until tomorrow?"

Lupin took a step toward Dumbledore, unconsciously seeking his protection. "Unfortunately, yes, Severus. There doesn't appear to be any other answer, I'm afraid."

Snape crossed his arms and sulked. "Well, that's just wonderful. Congratulations, Lupin, I guess you get to teach Potions this afternoon, because I'm certainly not showing up in my classroom looking like this. The damage to my reputation would be irreparable!"

Lupin gaped at the Potions master. "Me? Teach Potions? Forget your reputation. The damage to your classroom would be irreparable!"

Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling quite madly by this time as he held up his hand to quell the brewing storm. "Actually, there's another solution to this problem, one I'm sure you'll find perfectly acceptable."

All three of his professors eyed him with suspicion. What Dumbledore considered acceptable didn't always agree with what they might consider to be acceptable, and the amusement on his face didn't bode well at all.

McGonagall figured that if no one else was going to ask, she might as well be the one to do it. "And what solution are you talking about, Albus?" Goodness with this voice you could make even the most innocuous question sound ominous. She'd have to remember that.

Dumbledore smiled benignly. "Why simply that you and Severus should take over each other's classes, of course, Minerva. If you don't tell anyone what's happened, no one would ever guess that you weren't yourselves. Surely each of you could pretend to be the other for a few hours?"

Snape's jaw dropped. "What? You expect me to pretend to actually be Minerva McGonagall! That is the single most inane thing I have ever heard you say, Albus."

McGonagall concurred, making full use of one of Snape's more intimidating scowls. "I must say I agree with that. I couldn't conceivably fool anyone into believing that I was Severus. You certainly didn't have any trouble guessing the truth. Besides, our personalities are much too dissimilar. Neither of us could possibly pull something like that off. We'd be found out in no time."

Lupin snorted to himself and muttered, "That's what you think." Suddenly, he found himself being glared at by both Snape and McGonagall as he belatedly realized that he'd spoken aloud. He really had to learn to watch that.

Dumbledore sighed theatrically. "Well, then I guess the only solution is for you both to go sulk in your respective rooms until this wears off. I'll have to explain your absences somehow, though. Perhaps an unfortunate accident that you both suffered…together. There's bound to be a bit of wild speculation, but I suppose that's preferable to the two of you having to resort to a little playacting. It was silly of me to even suggest such a thing.

"Although, I must say that in your case, Severus, I'd think someone who was once capable of fooling Lord Voldemort on a very regular basis would certainly be capable of such a trifling masquerade as this. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence in your former role as a spy."

Snape looked a bit uncomfortable at that.

Then Dumbledore turned his eye to McGonagall. "I seem to recall that you were rather good at amateur theatricals in your younger days, Minerva, but I suppose those skills do tend to atrophy if they aren't kept honed."

McGonagall straightened up and looked vaguely insulted.

Dumbledore turned and walked over to his desk as if the matter was all settled. "Do be careful going into your rooms. If the wrong person should see you, the resulting rumors could get rather ugly."

Aghast at that thought and all too aware of the speed of the Hogwarts' rumor mill, McGonagall and Snape stared in horror at each other for a moment, then identical expressions of pained acceptance appeared on their faces.

"All right, Albus. You win. We'll pretend to be each other for the rest of the day and however long it takes for this to wear off," McGonagall said with a resigned sigh.

Snape stepped up and glared at Lupin fiercely. "However, if this doesn't work and this appalling situation becomes public knowledge, you had best put your effects in order quickly, Lupin, because suddenly the full moon will become the least of your worries!"

Lupin's complexion, not exactly robust to begin with, faded two shades at that comment, and he gave a fierce nod, thinking privately that practicing charms had been a foolish idea and that maybe what he really needed to brush up on were his curses.