"A Hellgate will open only when a truly malevolent soul bound for death has ties to this world so strong, those tethers rip it back from the Netherworld with such a force that it tears through the veil of this world and the next. Of course, that's just an old wives tale from the Fables of Merlin."

- Hermione Granger

Chapter 2: Variables

"What's the matter, Mary?" Mama asked at the breakfast table. Papa had gone in early to the garage. He worked as the town mechanic.

I hadn't noticed until she said something, but I was frowning at my smiley breakfast. Two eggs sunny side up with a bacon smiley face. "Huh?"

She sat in her chair looking like the perfect house wife. I can't ever remember seeing her without make-up and there was never a hair out of place. "You haven't even touched your food," she smiled but her tone put me on edge. It sounded like she was fishing for something. "Something wrong?"

I shook my head before the words even reached my lips. "No. There's nothing. Just had a bad dream." And it was true, though it was nothing new.

I know I didn't always have these dreams but I can't remember exactly when they started. But they scared me. I could close my eyes and picture it now if I wanted. I didn't know where I was, just that there were chunks of dirt and rock flying everywhere. It was so wide open with so much grass but the sky was dark and almost seemed to move. Things fell from it and hurt people. And there were so many different colored lights. Then I felt warm, in the pit of my stomach somewhere. Someone was standing there with their back to me. I wanted to reach that person. There was so much noise, but I could only see him. Contrary to the warmth in my chest, something chilling hung in the sky. A green skull with a tongue like a snake sticking out. That thing was in a lot of my dreams…

"Well, put Satan behind you dear. You have school. Better hurry or you'll miss the bus."

"Yes, ma'am." I ate as much as I could before I absolutely had to leave, grabbing my 'What Would Jesus Do?' lunch box and stumbling out the door. I'm not the most graceful person in the world. Not like Jubilee.

"Meow."

I looked down and spotted a cat. But not just any cat. Jubilee's cat. What was Cinnabon doing here? The cat scared me, the way it looked at me with those intelligent eyes. Satan crept into my soul for a second. What would Jubilee say if she knew her cat was here. She's probably so worried over her precious Cinnabon. The cat hissed at me, scratching at my ankles. I did what any normal kid would do to their worst enemy's cat. I reared back my foot and gave it a good hard kick. It flew up and off my porch with the force of my foot. "Rearw!" It squealed. I didn't care. Now there were angry red scratch marks on my leg.

"Serves you right," I huffed. Apparently, cats didn't always land on their feet. I walked to the bus stop, past a troupe of owls lounging on our neighbor's yard fence. They all watched as I passed, probably having seen me kick the cat. But they didn't scatter or attack as any other bird would when a human came too close. They just watched. They creeped me out too. Fortunately for them, I was more afraid of them than I was of the cat.

I ran to get on the bus just as it was about to leave and saw Jubilee and her friends sitting in the back of the bus laughing. I remember when it was the cool thing to sit in the front of the bus. But Page Daniels said that her older sister said that sitting in the front of the bus was for losers. I'd tried to sit back there with them once. They just stared at me like I was crazy. Then Kathy Whitaker smacked her backpack down in the empty seat. "This seat's taken, special-ed," she sneered.

The other girls giggled. "That's right," Jubilee said in that 'I'm so innocent' voice of hers. "I forgot you were in the slow classes. Shouldn't you be riding the short bus?" This time they all outright laughed. I don't know why they all thought it was funny. She was the one that said something stupid. Our school didn't have a short bus.

I sat down in the very first seat of the very first row, closest to the door. No one ever sat next to me. Except that one time Eric McCarthy was dared by Jubilee's friends to try and kiss me. He chickened out. Said he saw the devil in my eyes when he looked at me.

Once we got to school I separated from the majority of kids on my bus to join my class. Unlike the rest who got to skip off straight to class, we had to line up outside the building for a head count. As if we were too dumb to find our way there on our own. It was embarrassing. I filed in line behind Robert Bateman, the kid who liked to stand on his chair while he worked, and in front of Jacky Hernandez, who was actually really smart but was placed in the special needs class because of her limp. Our school wasn't wheelchair accessible and we didn't have any of those fancy elevators so most times I helped her up the stairs. Most handicapped kids attend another school a few miles away. Other families just moved. Jacky was the only cripple- no that's a bad word she said- physically disabled person?- in our whole school.

Robert turned around and cocked his head at me before jerking back around to face the teacher. His ears were flaming red. He always gets that way when I come around. Jacky says it's because he likes me, but I don't think Robert really likes anyone. Aside from myself, he has to be the weirdest person in town. "Alright," Ms. Applecrest smiled. "You're all here. Now line up, single file- except you, Cody. You grab my hand. Good boy. Now follow me. No stragglers this time."

She walked us single file to the furthest room in the school on the highest floor. I felt like one of those princesses trapped in a tower, waiting for my prince charming to come get me. Well, maybe not prince charming but my headmaster was coming. Whoever came up with that word? Headmaster? Is it because he's a master people's thoughts? That would be weird but not too much I guess considering he's a witch. Or wizard. I think only girls can be called witches. I'm a witch!

"Mary," my teacher snapped. I hadn't noticed how I got to my desk. I was too lost in my own thoughts. I imagine my eyes bulged like one of the three owls staring through the window right now. "Stand for the pledge of allegiance and for god sakes, try to pay attention in class today."

"Yes, ma'am." While we recited the pledge, I spotted Jacky sitting stubbornly with her arms crossed. She always did this. Jacky told me that by law, you didn't really have to stand for the pledge of allegiance. It's because of the 'under God' part they added to it. It wasn't originally in the pledge.

"And How can I pledge allegiance to a country that can't even give me a dang elevator?" Jacky exclaimed while I helped her up the stairs one day. The teacher never made a fuss of trying to get Jacky to stand up. They just assumed her bum leg made it difficult, so they let her sit.

As class went on I tried to pay attention, but my gaze soon fell out the window again. It was such a sunny day today as May was just getting under way. The school year would be over soon. I didn't think it was fair that the middle school and high school got out in April while we were stuck here during the most hot days. But I would be in middle school this coming September.

Oh, wait. No, I wouldn't. I'd be going to witch school. Because I'm a witch. And after that, I'd be going to hell. Because I'm a witch.

A ruler smacked down on my desk with a force that shocked me from my thoughts. "I don't want to go to hell!" I screeched.

Ms. Applecrest gave a large sigh. "Then for the last time, Mary. Pay. Attention."

"Yes, ma'am," I squeaked, thoroughly embarrassed at the giggles my outburst caused. "I-I'm sorry."

She just shook her head at me and gave me that resigned look she usually saved just for me. She knew, just as I did, that I wasn't going to be any better at paying attention now then I had been yesterday or the day before that. "I know you are."

Before she could get back to teaching, there was a knock at our door. A man I recognized as the honors teacher slipped inside with a bouquet of flowers. "Hey Leanne," he said with that suave smirk. Everyone knew that Mr. Clayton was head over heals for Ms. Applecrest. He'd been trying to woo her since her husband died four years ago. I'd know. I was in her class then too. She taught all the special education children. "You got a minute?"

She blushed slightly but tried to play it off with an eye roll. Ms. Applecrest was pretty. With her rolling sandy curls and the light dust of freckles across her face. Her eyes were the brightest hazel I'd ever seen. And she wasn't too old either. Thirty-five is pretty old but our gym teacher Mr. Hornsby is, like, seventy. So I suppose thirty five isn't so old. "I'm in the middle of a class, Joshua."

"Now Leanne," he drawled in a baritone deeper than normal. He always did that when she was around. It was weird...

Maybe he's English too.

He strolled in toward her desk, setting the flowers down before scooping her into a sort of one armed hug that she didn't return. "You know these kids don't need no schoolin'. It ain't like any of it is sinking in."

"Regardless of what you think, I-"

"Sssssh." He placed a finger over her lips then looked at the rest of us. "Any of you know what it is you're learning today?" No one said anything. It was silent but for the hoots of the owls outside. Maybe the ones at the window knew what we were learning. Though I doubt anyone else had the same issues I had following along. No. We just don't like Mr. Clayton. He's real mean and talks about us like we're goldfish. "So you wouldn't mind if I borrowed Miss Applecrest for a minute."

It wasn't a question or a request. Again, none of us said anything. We just stared at them. Just stared like a couple of owls.

"You see? The lights are on but nobody's home," he smirked while dragging her out of the room. Her protests were in vain- not that she was putting up much of an effort.

When the door closed behind them, Robert climbed off of his chair. "How to identify variables..." he muttered. "We were doing the variables..."

Robert always payed attention in lessons. I think he actually likes school. Jerry, his best friend (probably only friend) patted him on the back to comfort him. I wonder what that would be like. To have a friend to tell things to. That would comfort me after a whooping from my father for associating with Franklin Jackson from across the train tracks. Franklin's a good dancer and one of the few people who had willingly wanted to associate with me after I turned the house upside down. He let me borrow his Usher CD. I never got to listen to it though. My mother snapped it in half and threw it in the garbage. I guess God doesn't like hip-hop.

On my way back from school, there were more people at my stop than usual. Including Jubilee and her friends who usually kept on the bus much farther. I turned around to see them giggling. They were following me to my house. I didn't realize why until I got home.

"Surprise!" My mother shouted at me. The other kids rushed in past me to my backyard but I was shocked stiff on the front porch. Though I think I faintly recognized someone shouting, "There you are Cinnabon!"

"You just looked so down and out," My mother cooed, pinching my cheeks. "I decided to throw you a little birthday party. Do you like it?" I slowly walked in. There were streamers all over the Livingroom and goodie bags on the dining room table. Never had my birthday been such an extravagant affair.

Never.

I looked from the large store-bought vanilla icing cake, then to my mother. "F-for me? My...birthday?"

"Of course sweetie! Who else?"

I still didn't believe it. What did I do? Something was different. The owls, the letters, my real parents, and now this. A...birthday party? "But I thought birthdays were for praying?" I said, reciting what she had taught me. "Thanking God for letting you live another year. Not asking for gifts."

"Well after how much of a good girl you were, I decided you deserved a little reward. So, I invited all your friends."

"What friends?" The question spilled from my mouth before I could check it. My mother just laughed, in a far merrier mood than last night. I decided to leave her be. It was my blessing that she was in such a grand mood, but I still didn't want Jubilee and her friends here.

I walked out to the backyard and looked around. Everyone from the other classes were here, but no one from my class. Maybe mama forgot to invite them? But there was a feeling, like a tiny voice in the back of my mind, that said she didn't. I ignored it. Only crazy people here voices. If I start listening to it, eventually, I'll start talking back to it. And that wouldn't do me any good.

I walked over to Jubilee and her friends. They were crowded around my gift table, away from the watchful eyes of the mothers by the terrace window. The blonde in question was standing by, stroking her cat in her arms while two of her friends shook wrapped boxes. "I think it's a doll. Charly's mother always gives girls dolls. I have five of them."

"My mother gave her socks," Kimberly Sweden snickered. "Said she didn't want to give anything but it'd be poor taste. She doesn't deserve a thing after what she did to out roof last winter." That winter my mother had brought me on a playdate to Kimberly's house so I could try to make more friends. It didn't work out. Kimberly and I got into a fight instead and the next thing I knew, it was happening again. That pain surged out of me and split the roof an inch apart, down the middle. Snow came spilling in. Mrs. Sweden hadn't spoken to my mother for months after that.

"I think this is a tea set," Page said after a good shake. Something fragile rattled inside.

Kathy cleared her throat loudly and everyone turned to see me standing there. "What do you want, freak?"

"I..." That was as far as I'd gotten. I didn't know what to say or even why I came over. I could have asked why they hated me so much, but it was kind of obvious with the whole roof thing.

They just stared before Jubilee gave Page some kind of nod in my direction. "You want to give it a try?" She smirked, still stroking her cat.

"Huh?"

Page approached me with one of my gifts. "Go ahead. All you have to do is shake it and try to guess what it is." She held it out to me, and hesitantly, I reached out for it. But before I could grab it from her, she dropped it. A sound like a shattering window rang out from its hollow inside. Kind of like the sound I heard break in my chest. For just a few seconds, I had hoped...

Page tossed back her inky black curls and they all laughed again. "Next time don't be so clumsy." Then she brushed past me and that feeling washed over me again. The same as last night. It wiggled up and down my spine and my eyes glazed over. It was cloudy but surprisingly warm. I was at the creek here in town. That was odd. I would never go down there. The older kids that were up to no good always hung out down there.

People were screaming, running, scattering in all different direction out of the creek water and onto the damp soil ground. Ice crept along the quickly freezing water while another girl lay, half frozen inside, her breath coming out in puffs of cold air before something else drifted out. A small ball of light lifted from her now varicose face and dispersed into the air. It was suddenly cold. So cold. Blue light flashed all around me, leaving nothing to be seen but a skull and snake symbol carved into a far away tree.

Suddenly, I was aware of where I was again. I wasn't so cold anymore. But I was still scared. "Did you see that stupid look on her face," Jubilee giggled from somewhere behind me. I was alone again, as always. I didn't want to be a witch anymore. The memory of frost that trapped one of the older girl's arms under water, the other flailed aimlessly around as if trying to push away the looming force above her. The force of the faceless gray cloud that pressed its murky lips to hers.

I shivered and ran inside, upstairs to my room. I halted in the hall. "M-Mary!" My mother stuttered. Once she realized I was there, that is. Father Evans had her pretty distracted. He detached his lips from her neck and removed his hand from her skirt. "Mary what are you doing up here? Go back downstairs with your friends."

"My friends?" It was like it wasn't even my voice. Far meeker than even I know myself capable of.

"Yes, your friends. Jubilee wanted to see you so much. Go," she said, making a shooing motion with her hands. "Go, I said. And don't tell your father." I stared from her to Father Evans before walking back down stairs. Was Father Evans touching Mama's butt? That had to be wrong. She wouldn't even let Papa touch her butt.

I sat in a chair in the corner for the rest of the party. No one noticed. They were all doing their own things. The women were gossiping, the men were talking sports, and the children were all out in the backyard.

Three hours of sitting in that rickety wooden chair and finally they grabbed me to sing me happy birthday. The song was jovial with the liquor they had drank over the course of their stay. "Blow out your candles and make a wish!" Mr. Whitaker slurred.

I wanted to tell them that I had already had my wish. But it wouldn't hurt to blow them out anyway.

The candle was out before I could work up a breath. Staring at me from across my cake was Jubilee Evans, smiling like a Cheshire cat. Everyone laughed and cooed and awed over how adorably funny she was. I just sat back and watched while Jubilee got the first slice of my cake, while Jubilee got the big goodie bag with the 'Happy Birthday Mary' sticker stuck to the back, while Jubilee got to open the presents that I took too long to open, while Jubilee got the 'My Journal' diary with the voice recognition lock that I wanted, while Jubilee got everything she wanted at my party. She smiled back at me with that insane smile, everyone crowded around her like bees to honey...ants to sugar...moths to a flame.

And I sat in the corner alone and confused and scared and angry. The devil crept into me again. Formed words on my lips that I knew I didn't mean. That I knew I would regret. "I hate you," I hissed, staring at her, willing her to hear me over the sound of music and merriment. "I wish you'd just disappear..."