Disclaimer: Hellsing is not my property—series, manga and characters belong to Kouta Hirano-sama and other respective owners. I am not using this for profit—merely for fun. :)
N/A: Made lots of revisions to the old fic. Hellsing anime series but has hints of AU (because I keep mixing up the OVA and manga elements in to suit my purposes). The story is inspired by Melrose Stormhaven's story "The Hellsing Heir" and also Damned Caeli's numerous humorous AxI fic. I'm to the point of asking her if this could be a prequel but this can stand on its own. Forgive the OOC-ness, this is my first Hellsing fic (much more an AxI fic—or would it be? Hehehehe…) and I know I need to research more. I would love and appreciate comments, corrections and criticisms. This is for Hieiko-neesama, Momo-pi, Siomee and my inspirations: Melrose Stormhaven and Damned Caeli.
oOo-break
italics- thoughts/telepathy
FREAK-unregistered vampires that the Hellsing Institute hunts
Choices
By Aoyuki Hikari
Chapter I HellShe had enough. More than enough.
Strewn all over the study's carpeted floor were letters-- some crumpled, others torn carelessly. The oak study table was also littered with stacks of letters with the usual correspondence from the Round Table and Her Majesty. Piles of unopened parcels were set aside, untouched. The vases were overflowing with roses of different colors-- red, white, peach, pink, yellow and purple, their perfume overwhelming the somber study with their bright color and perfume.
Currently, the stench of roses was making her head throb. The copious and colorful display of flowers was beginning to drive her crazy.
Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing took off her glasses, setting it carefully on her desk. She leaned back on her leather seat and pinched the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb. She was weary to the bone and wanted this day to end. For the first time of her life—after the siege in the Hellsing Institute, the loss of many of her trusted men, her incarceration, the trial, her release and rebuilding the manor and Institute, she had never felt this drained and devoid of energy and emotions.
Integra opened her eyes, seeking the comforting presence of her father's painting. She met the painted blue eyes' gaze directly, her cool blue eyes softening a bit with affection. It was fortunate that the painting was saved from the rampage of the FREAKS in the manor before it was razed to the ground—this was the only physical reminder that linked her to her family apart from her own flesh and blood. She never admitted it to anyone—not even to Alucard, who baited her too often, the significance of the portrait.
oOo
She and her father were in the library, concluding their lessons on vampires. She was about to leave when her father had stopped her. He had been looking intently at her, as if weighing his thoughts. Suddenly, he said, "Will you forgive me, daughter?"
"Father?" The twelve-year old Integra had questioned, worry and puzzlement lacing her voice. "Is everything all right?"
Lord Arthur Hellsing had looked at flaxen-haired girl with eyes full of love and anguish. She had shivered at the intensity of that gaze. "As my heir, Integra, you will be holding a responsibility that might be more than you can bear. And part of it is giving up a lot of things that you wished you had, even the things that matters to you." His voice had become stern. "You need not like them but you have to do them. These, all for your duty as a Hellsing."
She had thought that she had fully understood what he meant. She had nodded in assent. "I understand, Father."
A shadow of a smile had flitted on his tired features. "No, Integra. You think you do, but you still don't. But I'm sure if it comes to that, you will remember what I told you."
oOo
Is this, Father, the time you were saying? Integra silently asked her father's portrait. At a tender age of thirteen, after her father's death, her uncle Richard's treachery and her knighthood, Integra had been running the Hellsing Institute under the tutelage of Walter and, almost unwillingly, she also had to acknowledge the help of Alucard. Walter taught her almost everything she should learn but it was Alucard who opened her eyes to the darker sides of life's realities. She did nothing but study, practice and fight. Fight for her heritage, her nobility, her duty, respect and dominance at The Round Table. Letting go of her childish and girlish whims had been easy; she had no time to fantasize and dream about things the girl her age dream. Dreaming is a weakness, and she cannot afford to show weakness. Her first time to kill a FREAK had erased all the vestiges of her childhood innocence and reserve.
She had given up the privileges as a normal young woman for duty and power. There was no regret because she took great pride in her duty and heritage. She is a HELLSING, and that is all that matters to her.
But for all those the things she had to do for duty and heritage, she should have seen this coming. She had never detested this kind of call of duty this intensely, for that matter. Or perhaps, she simply did not know how to handle the situation. Romance had no room in her life. Another price she had to pay for being a Hellsing.
She winced in distaste as she glanced at the mess in her usually immaculate study. She sighed wearily as she ran her fingers through her platinum blond hair. She should tell Walter to get rid of the trash immediately. Flowers, especially yellow roses remind her of Maxwell and the strained relationship of the Vatican and Anglican Church. At that thought, she gritted her teeth in frustration. How must the Section 13 laugh themselves sick at the news that the lofty Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing was being sold like common chattel by the Queen of England herself to the peerage of the realm. Married to a fop whose only concern are heirs, position, mistresses and money? Ludicrous! She rather had all the FREAKS attack and lay siege on the Hellsing manor again!
How she wished she were back on those days where she worked furiously and endlessly, not minding the passing hours and stopping only when her body demanded her to rest. Although she still worked from sunup to sundown, she was forced to face and entertain the suits of every single and suitable lord, knight and royal-blood in Great Britain that pester her--paid calls on her, hoping for her hand in marriage. To top that, her visibility on the numerous soirees and parties that would expose her to the Ton was also required. The FREAKS seemed to be not cooperating to give her the appropriate excuse. Curiously, it had been weeks since they had the last attack. She had ordered Alucard and Seras to investigate but it brought them nothing.
And so the courtship had begun. So did many weeks' worth of hell.
One month ago…
oOo
"What do you get from staring at the portrait of the dead, Master? Sentimentality does not suit you, even you are, after all, human." Integra had heard the familiar mocking voice ringing through her mind when he had appeared, unannounced as usual, in her study. She had been caught gazing up at her father's portrait with particular intensity. The cursed missive from the Queen had arrived that time. Hellsing must have an heir. Your duty is to provide this for your line to continue serving the royal family and England. The Queen had even ordered her marriage in two months' time. With this, she had also ordered every suitable and available lords of the realm to court her so that she could choose among them.
She had not removed her eyes from the portrait but she had acknowledged his presence with a slight nod. "What brings you here, Alucard?"
The top vampire agent of the Hellsing Institute took a step, emerging from the shadows; his red trench coat billowing even there was no wind. He paused three feet away from his master's back. Pale moonlight shone through the glass pane, making his red eyes seem to glint wickedly through his yellow glasses. He also stared up at the portrait of Lord Hellsing, his master's father, as a gesture of greeting and respect to the former Lord. "I thought you would want to hear something interesting from the Devonshire attack."
"Walter brings me the reports, Alucard. So that is no matter for you to come up here and I know how much you enjoy bothering me. You know exactly what I expect from you." Her voice was cool but the vampire had detected that there was a slight distraction, even tightness in her voice.
The vampire had chuckled. "Of course, my Master." Alucard's footsteps sounded hollow on the thick carpet as she heard him come up directly behind her. A hand rested on her shoulder. "Then perhaps, it is time you tell me something that would interest me," he murmured. "Something of great import that is bothering your mind, perhaps?"
Integra's rigid form had stiffened almost imperceptibly but the vampire had noticed. She mentally cursed herself for betraying her emotions. Damn him for being such a nuisance at a time like this! "That's the last thing I will tell you, vampire," she had snapped irritably, dislodging of his gloved hand on her shoulder. She stepped away from his closeness as she turned, expecting to see that irritable smirk playing on his mouth but when she looked up, the vampire's expression was inscrutable. His hooded red eyes stared deeply into hers that she became unnerved with their intensity.
"You are beginning to lose your touch, Master," he had observed, finally returning to his old smug self.
Blue eyes clashed with the scarlet eyes. "I did not recall asking for your opinion," she said coldly. "And the next time you feel compelled to put your hand on my person without my permission, you will regret it badly."
There was click of metal as he had drawn out the Jackal, his hand outstretched towards her. A blonde eyebrow had shot up questioningly as she eyed the weapon. "Is that a dare, Alucard? Sealing you would be less messier, you know."
He had laughed softly at that. "Is that so?" He had asked tauntingly. "Do you think you're up to it, Master? At your mind's state, anything that has to do with me is far from your mind."
Weary of the endless riddle that was Alucard, she walked past where he stood to return to her desk. "Leave me be, Alucard. I have no time for your games." His next words froze her from where she stood.
"Tell me, Master. How does it feel to be treated like a brooding mare as any other royal-blood? Is that also a game to you?"
Integra felt as if ice-cold water was splashed on her face with the vulgar depiction of marriage by the vampire. But she refused to feel intimidated. "No need to be crude, Alucard. I'm sure this had been the same during your time."
He nodded in assent. "Indeed." His smile widened into a wicked grin. "But it seems like honor and pride are losing the battle. I can remedy that."
Eyes widened with shock and nostrils flaring with anger, she whirled around and snarled dangerously, anger punctuating each word. "How DARE you read my mind! For the last time, vampire, I warned you not to delve into my private thoughts! "
Her anger only made him amused. "I dare anything as you very well know, Master. But that's beside the point. Will you submit yourself to the farce of courtship and marriage? I must say that this is something I should see." When she just stood before him, her blue eyes narrowed to slits and her hands balled into fists, he expected her to shoot and seal him right there and then. He knew he riled her too much tonight but he enjoyed seeing the sparks of ire glinting in those marvelous icy blue eyes. However, he was in for a disappointment when she refused to be baited and returned to her desk. "Don't push your luck. I may not be able to seal you tonight but there will be another time I may not be so preoccupied."
"Then say what you have to say, Master. Reading your mind is easier but you are still my Master."
When she did not reply, he smiled knowingly now that he knew that it was safe enough to approach her without worrying about his limbs. He set the Jackal on top of her desk. "Well?" He prompted.
"That is none of your affair, vampire. Now, get out."
"As you wish, Lady Hellsing." He bowed and had begun to vanish in the shadows when almost unwillingly, Integra called out. "Wait."
"Changed your mind, my Master?"
"No. But you left your gun. What am I supposed to do with this?"
His mocking eyes had shone in the darkness like embers. "Let Walter have them for diagnostics. And while you continue to evade the issue, I offered you once a choice. Remember that."
She ignored that jibe as she leaned back from her seat, closing her eyes. "Tell me something, servant. What do you get on angering me?"
His quiet laughter filled her ears as he vanished completely, annoying her immensely. His parting words rang into her thoughts. "Anger makes you weak, Master...but it also makes you beautiful"
oOo
Her mind flew to Alucard as she remembered their discussion. Since her incarceration, the vampire agent had taunted her endlessly the gift of immortality. How many times had he wounded himself…seduced her with his forbidden…filthy blood? Those were little tortures of the mind and spirit—he knew how much she had wanted it but it was fortunate that her pride would have none of it. It was also no secret that the vampire has a strong fascination with her. She could think of many reasons but she didn't wish to know the real reason. Or maybe she was just afraid to learn the truth.
"So simple to be immortal…to be powerful…Join me, my Master…"
No…stop! I can't be possibly contemplating that! To be a FREAK…a vampire…NO! It's out of the question!
She sighed as her eyes went back to her father's portrait. Her father had also opted to marry to beget an heir. Another political marriage yet that marriage had been a harmonious, even an affectionate one. She wondered if he would have understood her plight but he would have none of the doubts and her…revulsion. Yes, he might be a little contemptuous but duty has still a greater weight than preferences. This is their primary duty—to their monarch, their country, and their name. And if it had to mean she had to give up the freedom she cherished, then so be it.
Walter had opened the door and was looking at her with polite curiosity. For the longest time, Integra was just staring into space and didn't even hear him knock. The Hellsing retainer, once the Institute's Angel of Death, had peered at her, genuine concern in his eyes. " I was about to ask—Sir Integra, are you all right?" When she had finally acknowledged his presence but remained silent, the retainer had straightened and allowed her a few minutes to compose herself before he continued, "The Duke of Lancashire is downstairs to see you, Lord." When she didn't react to that one, he added, "If it would please you, I would ask the Duke to leave and tell him-"
"It is all right, Walter. I will be down in a moment." Integra rose from her seat. She picked up her glasses and straightened her clothes and was about to step off when she noticed that Walter still remained standing. "What is it?" she asked.
"Sir Integra, I just wanted to alert you of some other notable presence with the Duke." The retainer looked discomfited. "It might be best if you appear…uh, more presentably...feminine for the benefit of our guests." He coughed, positively embarrassed as twin spots of color appeared on Integra's cheeks. "I had requested Miss Seras to assist you in your wardrobe and toilette…" He was not able to go on when chips of icy blue eyes pierced him with laser stares.
"Just…who is down with the Duke of Lancashire right now, Walter?" Her voice was low but dangerous. True that she had consented on a political marriage, even with the farcical play of courtship but dictating what she had to do is more than she can tolerate. She can feel her temper rising but she strove to control herself.
Walter stared at the floor, unwilling to stare at his master then forced himself to look at her pale, haggard face. She had borne all the tragedies and scandals that had happened the past ten years. She had been the pillar of strength of all those who were around her—even he, who had cared for her when she was still a child. Even for her young age, she had always been an epitome of control and courage—the very core requirements of being the leader and head of the Hellsing Institute. But now seeing her weariness, to the point of weakness, did not lessen her respect or awe with the remarkable woman. But he knew that any sign of concern or pity would just fire her ire. He cleared his throat and made his face impassive. "Our Queen had seen it fit to send a retinue to," he coughed to cover his discomfiture. "Ensure your compliance."
Integra's face became unreadable but Walter knew that his master was seething with rage. For a few moments, he waited for an explosion. Instead of the expected explosion of explicits, he nearly jumped when she replied, "Very well, Walter. Tell them I will be with them as soon as I get dressed." She swept out of the room, proudly, as always. But Walter could not believe that there was a hint of resignation in her voice as she said those words. For the first time of his life, Walter Cumm Ddollneazz almost wept for his master.
TBC
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