Disclaimers: I don't own Dragonball Z or any of its characters.
Standard stuff. And don't forget that in the first chapter I said this will have "whatever pairings I want," so just sit back and enjoy.
And, just in case it needs to be said, "Mr. Satan" is the Japanese name for the character whose American name is "Hercule." I would allow this to slide on context because pointing it out in a disclaimer seems pretentious or condescending, but if it is not known to the reader, then it could be grossly misinterpreted.
---------------------------
Marron.
It said Marron.
What the fuck? I almost scream. I almost cry. But I do neither and just gaze into his eyes, which stare back, waiting for a reaction. Why? Why does he like her? What did she do? Why is she worthy of his love and I am not? Because I'm a guy? It's not fair. It's not fair! She can't love him like I do. She can't appreciate him like I do.
I want to rest my head on his stomach right now. I want him to smile softly and run his fingers through my hair. I want to look into his eyes and see my love requited. But I simply stare, as unable to speak as he is, and find nothing. Nothing for me.
A good friend would let him have her and not feel so jealous. A good friend wouldn't feel like he's being replaced. We could still be best friends. But it wouldn't be the same.
If this were true love, I would be willing to set him free and see if he would return. But I can't. He's attracted to her. To Marron!
Why?
His face, tired of waiting and begging me to respond, blurs as my eyes begin to fill with unshed tears. I blink them away before he notices (I think) and stand up abruptly.
"I-- I gotta go take a piss. Be right back."
Eloquent.
I leave the room and enter the bathroom across the hall, closing the door behind me and turning on the light. I look at myself in the mirror, examining myself for whatever the fatal flaw that only Trunks can see is.
I wipe away another tear.
I should not be acting like this. This is ridiculous. I knew from day one that Trunks is straight. He dated Pan for two years. From the second I was attracted to him, I knew it was fucked up. I knew it. Dammit, I knew it.
I thought it would pass. It hasn't.
I inhale deeply and allow the breath to slowly escape.
Trunks...
Trunks...
Why do I feel this way? How can such a strong attraction not be mutual?
This is the only thing that means anything to me now.
This.
Please.
I cough violently and then, resting my palms on the bathroom counter, I sigh, eyes beginning to fill with tears again as a lump forms in my throat.
He is my best friend.
He should know that this means more to me than anything.
But he knows nothing of it.
And he never will.
I could never tell him.
It tears me up inside. But I can't tell him. It would only hurt him and me.
Why Marron? Honestly?
He could do so much better. If he's going to date a girl he should aim a little higher than Marron.
Would any girl be good enough? Would any guy but me?
Maybe he doesn't understand how wonderful he is. He deserves the best. Even if that's not me.
Please, Trunks. Please.
I sigh. I wipe the tears off of my eyes, brush off my shirt, take a deep breath, and walk out of the bathroom and into Trunks's. He's sitting up on his bed scribbling something on the notepad.
"What'cha writing?" I ask.
Trunks looks up, startled. He didn't know I had entered, clearly. He turns his notepad to show me a doodle of a bunch of stick figures, a few skyscrapers and a helicopter. Guess I was gone longer than I thought. I sit back down.
Trunks looks down with a somewhat unhappy look on his face as he flips to a clean sheet of paper and writes, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, totally," I lie. "But hey, I gotta get going. I have a lot of homework due tomorrow," I lie again, getting up.
Trunks motions for me to wait, but I don't slow down as Ileave.
---------
"Pan!" I shout, happening upon my favorite niece in a campus parking lot.
"Goten! What are you doing here?"
"Uh, I go to college here now? Don't you remember?"
"Oh, right! I just came to visit Bra."
"Ah, that's cool. But, hey, listen,... I've been meaning to talk to you."
"Hmm?" Pan shoots me an inquisitive look.
"Just... come on, let's go for a ride."
---------
"Now what's this you're wanting to talk to me about?"
"Well, it's a question, really."
"All right, shoot."
"What... what was so bad about Trunks?"
"Oh, shit. You--"
"Language!"
"Oop, sorry. But... why do you ask?"
"Well, we sorta became friends. Like really good friends, actually."
"And you want to know what it's gonna be like when the other shoe drops?"
"Right, something like that."
"I don't really like to get into it, actually. It kind of hurts for me to think about it too much," Pan replies, with no change in tone and a casual glance out the window.
"Come on, Pan. For your Uncle Goten?"
"Well... all right. You remember when Grandpa--err... 'Mr. Satan'-- died?"
"Of course, who doesn't? 'Death claims even the strongest man in the world.'"
"Yeah, it was awful. I was actually pretty close with him and it kind of annoyed me to see all of the public getting into my business. Everyone acted like it was their loss."
I nod although in the back of my mind I'm asking myself where she's going with this.
"The funeral had loads of people coming all day 'paying their respects' and 'feeling my loss.' That was the first time I had lost a family member. I, of course, brought Trunks along because he was my boyfriend at the time and just so happened to also be my emotional support. By the way, Goten, don't get into a relationship for emotional support. That's just a bad idea."
I nod again.
"Anyway, we had been dating for two years and for the last ... hmm... five months or so, it was pretty rocky, I guess. But the straw that broke the camel's back was when I was there at the after-funeral get-together and Trunks and I were in my room. I was completely helpless and I asked him to stay with me for a little while, and he didn't, and, well... that was the end of that. When you really get down to it, he's totally inconsiderate of other people's feelings. He'll act nice in front of other people for show but in the end he's only concerned about himself. Oh, and he's totally egotistical," she continues, complete with exaggerated hand motions, as is her typical style of talking. "Give that guy a mirror and he'll be in front of it all day. And... I don't know. I'm done talking about it. That's about it."
"I see." That is kind of a shitty thing for him to do. The Trunks I know wouldn't do that. Or would he? Is he still just putting up a nice front for me? What if down inside he's this horrible ogre and he lures you in with his fake personality and hot body? Okay, that's a bit of a stretch. But something like that? Trunks... he would do something like that, I guess. I could see him doing it. But I'm so ashamed. Why couldn't you have stayed with her at her time of need?
"Goten?"
I snap out of my train of thought. "Yeah?"
"I need to be getting back to campus to see Bra."
"Oh, right, sorry."
---------
I routinely hand my card over to be swiped and enter the cafeteria. Trunks is already at a table, by himself. I haven't seen him since I left his house. I walk to the table.
"Trunks, can we talk?"
"Yes, finally!" he replies, smiling and caressing his throat.
"Can I ask you about... Pan?"
"Pan? What do you wanna know? We went out for two years and then we broke up."
"Yeah, but what caused you to break up?"
"Oh, lots of things."
He did it.
"Like what?" I continue my line of questioning.
"Well, for months it was clear we weren't going anywhere with the relationship. It had been reduced to mostly fooling around and being boyfriend and girlfriend in name only, right?"
"Sure."
"During the last month or so, we hadn't seen each other for like two weeks. I had called her a couple of times to see if she wanted to do anything, but since I was starting college, we saw each other less and less."
"I see."
"And then her grandfather dies. I've been through this, and I want to help her through it. I really do. But she keeps me there for SIX HOURS. In a row. Not even counting the days before. The funeral was four hours, and I was there in her room, 'comforting' her, which was mostly just sitting there and her crying, for another two. After a while, I say I'm gonna cut out and get some ice cream. And she starts screaming that if I leave now that I should never come back, and so I try and reason with her, right?"
"Right..."
"And she's going totally crazy. No offense, dude."
"None taken."
"But anyway, I ended up leaving, not because I was craving ice cream or anything, but 'cause I couldn't handle it anymore. She was too high-maintenance. And I don't mean just then. It was bound to happen. We're just not compatible."
"I see." Perfectly reasonable. I'll listen to anything you say, Trunks.
"Good. Hey, do you want to hang out tonight?"
"Yeah."
"Cool."
---------
After a night of "hanging out," I retire to my dorm, where my roommate lies in his bed, staring at the ceiling, green eyes glowing and iPod playing, his slender form resting lazily on top of the sheets and blanket of the perfectly made bed.
I look over to him. "Ya mind if I turn this light out?"
He motions to "go ahead," rolling on his side to face away from me.
"Good night," I say, smiling.
Click.
---------------------------
Stay tuned! The next chapter is the last of Part I!