Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or any of its characters.
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"Hop in, 'Ten."
I naturally do so, as I would any other time Trunks asked me to.
"Goten, what are you doing out here?"
"I was just walking home from the party..."
"Party?"
"Yeah, Bra had her eighteenth birthday party today..."
He laughs in response, "Goten, Bra doesn't turn eighteen for a couple of months."
"What? No, I was just...," I hesitate before finishing, "well, forget it." On second thought, I'd rather not discuss the events of that party.
"All right... well, ...um... you hungry?"
"I could eat."
I'm not very hungry but I want to spend some time with Trunks and get things sorted out.
At this point I am suddenly overcome with dizziness as the surrealism of the night thus far hits me.
Doing what I did with Bra, seeing Pan and Haku together, actually together, and now, being with Trunks, all within...
I look at the car clock. 10:24.
Wait, that's not right. His clock's always been wrong. But I don't really care enough to pull out my cellphone. What matters is that it's all happened in one night.
I pinch my arm to see whether I'm dreaming and, because of the dreamlike state I'm in, I do so until I draw blood. When I realize what I have done, about three seconds later, I pull away and watch a small bit of the deep, red liquid seep into the crevice between the nail and my finger. I wipe it off on my jeans, leaving a barely noticeable stain.
I then lean back against the seat as I close my eyes tight and reopen them to find the same late evening landscape before me. I look to my left and see the same Trunks, the same smooth, tanned features lit up by the streetlights. He feels himself being watched and turns to look, while I immediately switch my gaze to out my window.
He turns back to face the road, but I don't risk a second stare.
We arrive at a pretty gross-looking restaurant and take a seat in the very back. I finally look at the clock. 8:18. All of that was within an hour. I then look around the room, noticing that for 8:18, there are relatively few people here.
As soon as we sit, a girl about my age, maybe a few years older, with dark red hair comes over and takes our drink orders. I ask for a Sprite and Trunks just wants water.
When the waitress is out of earshot, Trunks turns to me and says "Listen, 'Ten, there's some stuff we need to work out."
"Yeah, I agree."
"You're my best friend, and I don't think something like... well, the events of Valentine's Day, should end that."
I smile and respond, "Absolutely."
"I'm really sorry, by the way, for being so distant this week... I'm not blaming you, of course, but that's kind of a big thing to find out all at once."
"Yeah, I am sorry about that. I shouldn't have assumed like I did."
"Yeah, it's all right," he replies. "And listen, I'm going to leave this up to you," he says, flipping through Sweet 'n' Low packets, "but if you still want to live together next year, I'm totally for it."
My eyes become the size of dinner plates. "You mean it?"
"Of course! You're my best friend, 'Ten!"
"I... Of course! I would love to!"
"Great! I'm glad," he says, picking up an out-of-place pink packet and moving it to the rest of the pinks.
I nod, smiling ear-to-ear.
"So now that we've got that settled, I think..." he pauses, "Do you have anything to add to that?"
I hesitate for a second before shaking my head, "Nope, can't think of anything."
"Great. Well, we have one more thing to discuss...," Trunks finishes the sentence looking over my shoulder at what is obviously the waitress returning.
She arrives and places the drinks in front of us. "Now what can I get y'all?" she asks in a friendly tone, with a tinge of a Southern accent.
Trunks says something, I don't really pay attention to what, still captured by the surrealism of the evening. She turns to me and, because I haven't even glanced at the menu, I simply respond, "Same."
Trunks smiles. I wonder what he ordered. Well, he has good taste, generally.
Again waiting for her to leave, Trunks turns to me and says, "Pan."
"Right, Pan," I respond.
"This is kind of a problem," he begins.
"More than you know..."
"What do you mean? Are you mad that I like her?"
"No, not at all... but Haku might be."
"Haku?"
"Yeah, they've been dating for about a month now."
"Oh shit, are you serious?"
"Dead serious," I say, shaking my head.
"Well,..." Trunks says with a soft sigh.
"But Trunks, really,... you know that that wouldn't work out anyway."
"Yeah, I know... but you know, I'm really sorry that things ended up the way they did. I really shouldn't have walked out on her. I've felt kind of empty ever since."
"You'll find someone, Trunks. I don't think it should be hard for you. You're very attractive," I say, and then break into a blush wondering whether I've crossed a line.
"Aw, thanks, 'Ten. If only girls saw me like you did," he smiles.
I don't like hearing that, to be honest. I think that's proof positive that being a guy is the only thing keeping me from Trunks.
That fucking sucks.
I feign a smile as I pour a little bit of sugar on the somewhat dirty table and begin to form little patterns by arranging it with my fingertips. I stain a couple of grains red with the blood from earlier. Unless they're just little pieces of dried blood.
Trunks leans back against his seat and as he runs a few silky, lavender strands of his hair behind his ear, I notice for the first time that it is significantly longer than when I first met him. It's almost down to his lips.
After a few minutes of silence, Trunks picks himself up. I assume the red haired waitress is back with our food, but he simply says, "So, you ready to go?"
"But what about our food?"
"Ha, Goten, we didn't get any, remember?"
He didn't order anything.
Heh.
Just what I wanted.
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After leaving a few dollars on the table, we get back into his car to return to my dorm.
"So, how was the party, anyway?" Trunks asks.
"Uhhh... all right," I respond, keeping my mouth shut about certain events.
"Good, good."
I stroke the gray bag I have in my lap as a means of keeping my fingers busy as I am taken home.
Trunks drops me off and, shortly after "Good night"'s are exchanged and the door is closed, I look back down into my hands. I still have the bag of Trunks's clothes. Shit.
I almost call him, but decide against it; I'll just return them the next time I see him.
I hope I see him again soon.
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I run back up to my room and throw the gray bag under my bed. Yamato isn't there.
I throw myself onto my bed and stuff my face in the pillow.
What a night. What a crazy, messed up night.
I'm sorry, Bra. I really am. I really did think I liked you. But it was just all of it hitting me at once... I'm really sorry. I would call you and apologize now, but...
Dammit, why am I still attracted to him? If it weren't for him, I bet I could have a nice, natural relationship with Bra. Everything would be fine. 'Course if I had never met Trunks, I never would've met Bra, right? Well, no, that's not true, I would've met her through Pan. But I wouldn't have really gotten to know her, would I? Well, if she were my true love, I would've, right? Destiny, and all that jazz?
Would I have been attracted to Bra if I weren't attracted to Trunks first? They're kind of similar. They clearly have a lot of the same genes. Would I have been attracted to Trunks if I were attracted to Bra first? In that case, if Trunks had gone down on me, would I have screamed Bra's name? Is this a matter of who-came-first?
Do I even like girls? Am I just trying to make it seem like I do? I liked my first and only girlfriend, Paris. I really did. But as more than a friend? Maybe not.
I've never really, really been attracted to a guy before Trunks. I'll see guys I think are cute and stuff, but I had never developed a crush. Never. Like Yamato. Yamato's attractive, but crushworthy? I don't think so.
Something about him. Am I the only one who sees it? I imagine if a girl felt the way I do, then she would have Trunks as a boyfriend. But since I'm a guy, it doesn't work that way.
What if I were a girl? What if I were born a girl? Would Trunks love me? Would we have even met? Let's see, I don't know if I would've joined the swim team. I might have, but my masculine physique is kind of what keeps me in the game when it comes to swimming. He would've definitely chosen a guy to lead the team.
Would I have even come to this university? I don't know. You can't predict that kind of stuff.
This whole Bra mess never would've happened, that's for sure. I don't think even if Bra were bi that she would go after me. I don't really exude any homosexual aura, whether I'm male or female.
She knew that I liked Trunks. Maybe it's her fault. But maybe she thought I got over it. Maybe she thought she was getting me over it.
I still feel awful, though.
What can I do? I don't even know what to do about the Bra situation. I hope that sorts itself out, kinda. If I call her, I'm just going to get screamed at. Rightfully so. I'm so very sorry, Bra. Words cannot express how sorry I am.
Trunks has to get over Pan.
Would I rather Pan end up with Trunks or Haku? Really? Taking into consideration that Trunks would never end up with me? It's kinda like the lady and the tiger, isn't it?
Sorry, Trunks, I pick the tiger. Although I don't think it's based on "if you won't have me, you won't have anyone." I just think that Haku and Pan work better together.
Maybe.
Hmm, I'm starting to catch on to this whole "there's drama in college, too" thing.
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