Chapter 9
A/N: Enjoy buddies.
Abhijeet walked inside his room and shut the door behind him, then make his way to the closet. He tried his best not to think about what he just said and their conversation.
Black shirt.
Don't think about him.
Long sleeves.
Don't think about how you would do anything to take your words back.
Bagged jeans.
Don't think about how much you hate yourself right now.
But he did. He thought about it and become hurt and angry all over again. He grabs a fistful of shirts hanging in the closet and rips them as hard as he can off their hangers until they fall to the closet floor. He grips the frame on top of the door and squeezes his eyes shut, listening to the sound of the now-empty hangers swinging back and forth. He tried to focus on the fact that whatever he said was real, but he couldn't move. He couldn't stop replaying the moment that he walked into the house and saw him.
He fell to his knees on the floor, look over at his standing mirror, and watch himself die one more time.
He sits back against the closet door and closes his eyes, remaining in this position for however long it takes him to realize that he doesn't want to be in there.
…
Pradyuman was sitting in the garden deep in his thoughts. The more he tries to get close to his son, the far he can see him going. His words were ringing inside his head making him realize how big of a mistake he has done. He felt his stress going a little when he felt someone softly squeezing his shoulder.
"Baba aap abhi tak yahan kyun baithe hain?" Daya asked innocently.
Pradyuman pressed his eyes with his fingers to stop the tears while trying to sound composed.
"Kuch nahi beta, andar thori ghutan si ho rahi hai tu bahir aagaya."
"Aap tu bhai ka intezaar kar rahe the n, who aagaye kia? Daya asked keenly observing his eyes.
"Han who aagaya bas mein bhi kamre mein aa hi raha tha socha ke thori der yahan aise hi beth jaon." He repeated his lie.
"Baba I am 20 (Pradyuman raised his eyebrow at his sudden topic change) you can't lie to me lie that and think that I will believe you." Daya laid down the facts.
Pradyuman unintentionally smiled at his query but he still didn't answer his question.
"Acha chalien mere sath. It's already very late." He holds his father's hand not leaving any excuses for him to stay there.
….
Abhijeet came out after changing his attire. His eyes immediately went to the unusual presence in the room. He looks down.
He saw her.
He squeezes his eyes shut and open them again, but she was still there.
His mother was huddled in a fetal position on the bedroom floor, her back pressed up against the cupboard door.
This makes no sense.
How is she here?
She's been dead for nineteen years.
"Abhijeet," she whispers.
Her eyes flick open and he immediately has to reach his hand out in order to steady himself against the table. His body suddenly becomes too heavy to hold up and he took a small step back, right before his legs give out and he fell to his knees in front of her.
Her eyes were open wide then and they were completely gray. No pupil, no irises. Just glossed-over gray eyes that were searching for him, unable to find him.
"Abhijeet," she says again in a hoarse whisper. She blindly reaches her arm out toward him and her fingers fell around in front of her.
Abhijeet wanted to help her. He wanted to reach out and grab her hand but he was too weak to move. His whole body shook while taking harsh deep breaths in order to calm himself down but nothing was working. He didn't know what it was that was stopping him, but he was only two feet in front of her and he was doing everything he can to lift his arm and take her hand but it won't move. The more he struggles to regain control over his movements, the harder it becomes to breathe. She was crying now, saying his name. Abhijeet's chest tightens and his throat begins to close up and now he couldn't even calm her down with words because nothing will come out. He works the muscle in his jaw, but his teeth were clenched tight and his mouth won't open.
She was pulling herself up on her elbow, slowly scooting closer to him. She's trying to reach out for him but her lifeless eyes couldn't find him. She was crying even harder now.
"Meri madad karo, Abhijeet," she says.
He squeezes his eyes shut and try to focus on getting his voice to work or his arms to move, but all the concentration in the world couldn't help him right now.
"Abhijeet, please," she cries, only this time it's not her voice. It's the voice of a child. "Mat karo aisa," the child begs.
He open his eyes and his mother was no longer there, but someone else has taken her place. A little boy was sitting with his back pressed against the cupboard door and his head was buried in his little arms that were wrapped tightly around his legs.
His younger self.
He still couldn't move or speak or breathe and his chest was growing tighter and tighter with each sob that racks the little boy's body. All he could do was sit and watch him cry because he was physically unable to even turn his head or close his eyes.
"Abhijeet," he says, his voice muffled by his arms and his tears and it knocks out what little breath he had left in him. He leans his head back against the cupboard door and wipes away a tear with the back of his hand.
"Tum sab kho rahe ho," he whispers.
Only this time, it's not the voice of the little self anymore. It was not even his mother voice.
It was his own.
…..
Abhijeet woke up with a throbbing headache. His eyes felt heavy and were even hurting when he tried to open them up. He slowly sat up only to find it was not only his head that was paining but his whole body. He was not on the floor but in his bed with warm blankets covering him. When he saw the clock striking 11 at morning, he got shocked thinking he skipped his university. He tried to stood up but felt so drained. Just then Kaka entered in his room with a tray. He saw medicines along with breakfast.
"Kaka aap ne mujhe uthaya kyun nahi mujhe university jana tha.? "He complained while pressing his head.
"Aap uth gaye? Ab aap ki tabiyat kaisi hi? (Kaka put the tray on his bed) Kal raat aap ki tabiyat bilkul theek nahi thi, aap ko bahut tez bukhar tha. Who tu main aap ko khana dene aaya tha tu maine dekh liya. Aap behosh the. Maine foran bade sahab ko bulaya. Aap behoshi mein bhi kanp rahe the. Doctor ne aaram karne ko kaha tha is liye bare sahab ne man kiya tha ke main aap ko subah na uthaon."
'Kal sab yahan kamre mein the?" Abhijeet asked looking at nowhere.
"Sab nahi. Sirf aap ke baba, who kal puri raat nahi soye. Bar bar aap ko aa kar dekh rahe the."
Abhijeet was lost with words. He slowly nodded at kaka and picked up his mobile to answer the million msgs Karan left for him.