Anger.
Disgust.
Boiling hot.
Red.
Fog.
Rage.
He had to be alone.
He wasn't sure he could control it.
Control himself.
Fuck.
How had they never thought to check on the barges?
The only thing that changed on the Isle was what you could find in the trash.
The barges never stopped before.
It was the best way to tell the passing of time.
Barge days.
What were they supposed to do without those days?
How were they supposed to get food?
Fuck!
When he felt the claws in his chest.
The acid in his stomach.
He'd left.
How was he supposed to react to hearing that the Isle had been starved for two months?
How was he supposed to deal with that?
He'd just found out about the fucking cameras, and now he was supposed to just accept that the barges weren't running?
Like fucking hell he was okay with that.
He barely remembered Hiro trying to talk him down.
He couldn't deal with that either.
He'd tried so hard to tell himself that Hiro wouldn't lie to him.
He'd wanted to believe that if something horrible did happen, Hiro would have told him.
But then he remembered the way Cobra told him he had to be there when he watched it.
Fuck.
Fuck.
FUCK.
He'd lost it.
Lost it and run-off.
He couldn't stay there.
Not with what he knew.
And what he knew the others didn't know.
They were already falling apart; they didn't need to see him lose it too.
So he'd run.
Snapped at fucking Hiro until the man left him alone and ran.
He wasn't even sure how long he'd been running at this point.
How many random, stationary things he'd punched.
He felt numb, or at least his hands did.
His lungs burned. So did his eyes.
The back of his throat was on fire.
Were they alive?
Deez?
Harry?
T?
Gil?
Uma?
Dizzy?
Mimi?
Freddie?
Cici?
Fuck.
Just-
Fuck.
What was he supposed to do?
What the fuck was he supposed to do?
Where the fuck was he?
He looks around as he slows, bracing his hands on his knees as he sucks air painfully into his lungs.
He must have been running for a while.
It was dark out.
He grumbles as he pulls out his phone and pulls up a map.
Huh.
He'd autorun almost the whole way back to Auradon Prep.
He slips his phone into his pocket before he takes off again.
He knew where he needed to go.
Wanted to be.
Alone.
In the range with all the targets he could punch.
He just wanted to rip something to pieces.
Maybe that would help the rage seething under his skin.
Something.
Anything.
He didn't want to be around anyone until he got this under control.
He watches Jay from the wall he was sitting against, one leg pulled to his chest.
It hurt.
Hurt so fucking bad.
To much.
To watch him like this.
To see him revert back to his old habits.
But he couldn't bring himself to stop him.
Not right now anyway.
Not while he was in a blind rage.
One, it would have been stupid.
Two, if Jay hurt him by accident, it would only make things worse.
Three-
He glances across the room to where Cobra was standing.
Arms crossed as he observed.
Stoic as ever.
Three, he'd promised not to interfere.
So he just sat.
In painful silence.
As Jay takes everything out on the targets in the room.
The screams of rage.
The agonized howls.
The undercurrent of desolation.
Jay was going to be so upset when he realized they'd been there.
Present nearly the moment he'd arrived.
He was grateful for Hiro.
He knew the man had a temper of his own, but he'd still thought to track Jay.
He grimaces.
The six of them had come back looking like, for lack a better word, shit.
Lilo.
Hiro.
Ben.
Mal.
Evie.
Carlos.
Every one of them looked affected.
He flinches as Jay lets out another devastating cry of sorrow.
He pulls his knee to him tighter, closing his eyes as another smudge of blood is left in the wake of Jay's outrage.
He takes a deep breath as he turns his attention to the ceiling.
He couldn't blame Jay.
He couldn't find fault in this.
His stomach twists, but that didn't make watching this any easier.
He was aching with empathy.
The whole range was so filled with despair he was all but choking on it.
He wasn't sure he'd ever felt energy so intense before.
So thick.
Potent.
So heartbreakingly draining.
His head falls back to the wall.
Fuck.
He closes his eyes.
What the fuck were those kids eating?
It had been distressing enough when he'd realized what they were surviving off of in the first place…
And fuck only knew what the hell Hiro had found on that laptop.
He'd never seen the man so brooding.
Heard him so vehemently demanding.
Look so wholly and utterly enraged.
Like he was an animal trying to burst from its cage.
Break so much fucking tech.
It was terrifying.
He hadn't even hinted at wanting to see it.
See the footage.
He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it.
He'd be right there with them.
Jay and Hiro.
And he just-
Couldn't bring himself to do it.
It wasn't the best feeling.
But he was healthy enough to know where his boundaries were.
It was his job to be these kids' rocks.
He glances at Cobra and frowns.
But he'd be lost in a monsoon of emotions and dragged out to sea if it was as bad as it appeared.
And he had no doubt it was as it seemed.
He'd never seen Cobra so damn incensed.
Seething.
Outraged.
Stoic on the surface.
Simmering underneath.
It summed up Cobra on the best days.
But right now?
Right now, he was a pressure pot ready to blow.
And that, more than anything, shook him.
"Damn." Jay wheezes as his fist misses the target for the first time, the momentum pulling him past the mannequin before he collapses to the floor.
He looks to Cobra hopefully, but the man gives the barest shake of his head.
Fuck.
This was killing him.
"Stupid." The mannequin shakes.
"Fucking." It shakes again.
"Why?" Jay cries out before the mannequin topples over, making him grunt as it lands on him.
He closes his eyes as he looks away.
Jay lays on the floor for a few minutes, muttering darkly between sobs and gasps for air.
He had to be exhausted.
The kid ran, blindly, no doubt, for over four hours before making it to the range.
And he'd spent the last two hours systematically destroying targets.
"Fuck." He groans as he shoves the target mannequin off himself and sits up.
He grunts in pain as he pulls himself to his feet and starts looking around the trail of destruction he'd left in his wake.
It takes him a few more minutes, but eventually, he picks his phone up from the floor.
Or what was left of it.
"Shit." Jay shakes his head before he falls back, landing hard before he lays back, "Fucked that up too."
He turns to Cobra, only for the man to shake his head again.
He swallows a groan as his head hits his knee.
One minute.
Two.
Three.
Ten.
Twenty.
"What am I supposed to do?" Jay breathes out, finally breaking into tears instead of whole-body wracking sobs. "I'm not even there. I should be there. We never should have left."
He winces before he turns to Cobra, who holds one finger up.
Great.
He puffs his cheeks.
"I'm fucking useless. I can't even-" The broken phone falls from his hand. "Like I'm the one who needs fucking help right now."
He watches as Cobra pushes off the wall and slowly starts making his way to Jay. He stops at Jay's shadow before he bends his head down. "Jay."
"How can they starve them?" Jay asks, his voice lost and small.
"Because there are no consequences for it," Cobra responds evenly. "At the moment."
Jay rubs at the tears leaking continuously from the corners of his eyes, "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to-" he presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, "Anything. I don't fucking understand anything right now."
"Evil tends to do that."
"I was raised by evil," Jay shakes his head as he sits up, still staring up at Cobra, "I robbed from people who've killed people in front of me. Fucked over assholes who bought and sold people. I ran through tents and dumped cots-" He presses a hand to his chest, "I've dodged knives and swords. I learned how to plot revenge and other stupid shit from people so evil they were willing to kill children to live forever before they found themselves on the Isle. I know how to deal with that. I understand the hatred. The disgust. The rage. David's helped me with that. That I get." He pulls his knees to his chest as he takes a ragged breath, "So what does it make someone worse than those people?"
"Subtle. Evil comes in many shades. Those on the Isle were just cruder than the ones who escaped that fate."
"I don't know what to do. And it makes it worse because I'm fucking here and fucking crying about something I can't do anything about. But they're- Fuck, they could be dead. I've been here, with a family, a girlfriend, studying for stupid finals, and they've been suffering. Dying. And I don't know what to do with that. I'm a fucking asshole."
Cobra stares at him silently before he drops a hand on Jay's head. "You're not an asshole. You are cutting a path."
"Maybe cutting a path for no one." Jay closes his eyes as he presses his hands to his chest, "I have to go back. I have to know. I can't do this anymore. I wanted to be- But I can't."
Cobra tilts his head before he turns to him.
He sighs as he stands up and meanders over.
He knew where this was going.
He didn't like it.
At all.
In the slightest.
But- What the fuck else was he supposed to do?
When he reaches Jay, he plops down and rests his weight on his hands. "Brah," He lets out a long sigh. "Do you," He takes a deep breath, "remember that promise I made you?"
Jay flinches but nods, "Yeah that I could go back and get T."
He sighs as he looks up to Cobra, who tilts his head.
"Can you just give it a few more weeks?"
"I- I know we have plans, I know." Jay grimaces as he stretches his legs out in front of him, "But what if they're dying?"
Cobra studies him for a moment before he turns. "Follow."
Jay's brow furrows before he turns to look at him.
"I know as much as you, brah." He admits softly.
Jay frowns as he pushes himself up and follows after Cobra.
"You too, David."
He bites his lip as he stands and follows after them. "Shouldn't we-"
"Baymax." Cobra states.
Jay grimaces as he hides his hands in his pockets. "I really fucking messed up."
"Rule thirteen," Cobra shrugs. "We all mess up. What matters is the way you get back up."
"I broke my phone," Jay sighs as he stares at the floor, "I'm going to need a copy of the rules with that added."
He steps closer to Jay and nudges his shoulder, "You could've broken worse, brah." He offers gently, "Phones are easily replaced."
Fuck if this chapter wasn't depressing as fuck.
Jay is in a seriously rough place right now.
They all are.
It's bad when the counselors are fucking clueless about what to do. I mean, there's no real right answer here. No easy way out. No legal way to deal with this.
Subtle.
That's what Cobra called this type of Evil.
And it is.
Evil I mean.
Or at the very least ruthless.
Cruel.
Cold-blooded.
It's crazy what ppl can get away with when they have 'the law' protecting them. When they can hide beyond power.
It happens all the fucking time. Has happened throughout history.
It's as disgusting as it is heartbreaking.
So many kids, starving, helpless, and powerless.
So many kids dead.
I mean, think about it.
How the fuck are the Sea Six dealing with this?
What the fuck do you think they're doing?
Coping?
Sure they've got a one up on the others, but, 2 fucking months?
It fucking breaks my heart just thinking about it.
They're fucking 16 year olds man. How the fuck are they dealing with this shit?
*shudders*
I'm not even mad at this point. I'm despondent.
Is the Sea fam okay? Cause surely the pack isn't.
Like, at all.
This shit is seriously killing me.
And fuck only knows what Dark's going to do to punch up this chapter. I just know reading the first draft was bad enough. She's going to make it sickening. I just know it. Like it wasn't gut wrenching enough. So, let me take a minute to applaud a bitch.
Kudus Dark to being the baddest bitch at making shit even more devastating than it already is. Thank you for taking time to really take our story to the next level. For all the effort and frustration you pour into it. How much your empathetic ass rips yourself apart to destroy our readers. You are a boss ass bitch, and I seriously wish I had half your patience and diligence… But I don't. I'm just here for the LoLz and counselors.
I adore you and everything you put our readers through.
You're a fucking beast.
And you, yes you dear reader, are fucking godsdamn masochists, and I fucking love it. Thank you for sticking with us and getting here. This shit has more emotional rollercoasters than a theme park has legit ones. And we wouldn't be here without your appreciation and dedication to our work.
Without your pets. We're not lying when we say your comments, reviews, and whatever the fuck else they're called, fuel us.
And yeah Dark, I get we write this shit for each other- Which thank you btw, but seriously- These motherfuckers- Talking about you readers again, are dope ass bitches for staying with us and supporting us so thoroughly.
So from the bottom of my black little twisted heart
Much love and appreciation,
-Twisted