Ok, it's me... don't you guys remember me?? Well, I know it's been like ages since I last updated this fic. I was on a journey, which turned out quite well in the end. And now I'm back!!!
Graysky: Yep, mistakes are what make this whole story have sense... or not. Anyway, this chapter won't make you feel better about L/H but it can help on other subjects. Maybe we have been talking about brothers and sisters and someone got mixed up. Hope you like this chappie ^_^
Miko Windam: Hey! I would never throw my TV at you! How'd I watch Anime if I'd do that? He's being an idiot you're right, so, what's the big deal? But honestly, jealousy can do that to you... *mumbles something about stupid cheating boyfriends* Well, F/F, like I promised!!
Smoky Kisses: Thanks! Here it is, to make your world happy and bright! My boyfriend never got jealous of anime charas... actually, he's some kind of blend between Lantis and Eagle *I'm a lucky bitch, I know* Well, keep loving both Ascot and you bf... tehehe
a n g e l . w 1 n g: Well, you know, poor Ascot has been in love with Umi for years and you still want her with Clef... So you're mean to the boy. But I guess that's fair, I like Clef too. I would be in serious trouble if I was the Water Knight!!
Cev: Please don't cry! I didn't mean to... well, I did expected that sort of reaction. Chapter 9 was really wicked... To tell you the truth, Lantis is jealous as a mad dog, that's all. maybe you'll find some answers in this chappie... or you'll be even more puzzled. Just go and read some!
Liadel: *snatches Lantis away* You won't kill my Lantis!!!! *glare* Well, I don't wanna sound like Primera here, but he IS MINE!!!! Even if he's being incredibly mean lately... But don't worry, he'll get better... or worst *evil cackle* In the mean time, have some F/F!
Yume no Kokoro: I'm really flattered you could stand A/U only because of my fic!! I know, that's a huge compliment, U/C fans are usually very against Ascot. Oh, well, thanks again!
Bunny: Oh, please, don't tell me you cried too... I think I'm gonna change this fic into the drama category. Hmmm, Lantis IS cold to everyone, isn't he? As for if he is really in love with someone else... you'll find out later on. And Tarta is the one engaged to Ferio, you know the nasty sister. The silly sister is in love with... but I guess you read that already... ^_^
Former Anime Goddess6: *smacks random person in the head* Don't call her a suckup! She's a su... I mean, she's just sensitive! Ok, no random person now. I'm sorry to make you cry (You didn't really cry, right?) I'm working hard on suspense, yeah, thanks for noting it. Here's the next chapter... to make you cry a little more -_-
Momentum: Now this chapter is half frustration, half other random stuff. It's time for a change. But next chapter will be DEVASTATING! Even I cried when I wrote it! That's when everybody will really start doing stupid things. So, stay tuned!
One more time, I'm terribly sorry for the delay. Next will be up as usual, in a week or so, I promise! Before you go on into my soap opera, just remember I don't own Rayearth, just a computer, an obsession on every anime and a huge imagination. That's it.
Just read and enjoy!
*** Battling emotions ***
Chapter X
Presea - Liberty
Presea sighed slightly. One more day in Cefiro, just like every other day. Even though everybody was more or less thrilled with the next arrival of the kings of Chizeta. Never before they had had the opportunity to receive such illustrious people, except that one time when Autozam's President visited Cefiro, a couple of years ago. Around the date in which Eagle Vision regained his consciousness, coming out of his delayed coma unexpectedly. Which also coincided queerly with Lantis' sudden arrival. It was a great celebration, seen how grateful was the autozamian leader with his only son's definitive recovery, for he was almost lost for his countrymen. The artisan was particularly fond to the memories she had from that occasion and she had her reasons. Never before Guru Clef had left aside his severe continent of Cefiro's protector to show a behavior more human-like. Never before and never after that, for that matter, Clef had been nearer to the people who cared for him.
Presea let out another sigh. She wouldn't forget that night for as long as she lived. She just closed her eyes and she could easily revive the image of the short magician, shaken by the wine someone had convince him to drink for the first time in his long life, laughing and enjoying the party like everybody else...
ººººº Flashback ººººº
- Presea!
The artisan turned around with a smile, when she heard Guru Clef's voice. He was coming towards her with brilliant eyes.
- Would you dance with me?
- I didn't know you could dance at your age... - she joked.
The short mage swirled around swiftly, quite nimbly, and with this the woman confirmed her belief that this particular night, he was not himself.
- I can still teach you some lessons! - Clef asserted bearing a mischievous smile - What do you say?
It was really tempting, to think she could let him take her wherever he wanted, and however Presea did what she had always done whenever related to him. She held herself.
- I say you're very short and we would probably look bizarre dancing together. I don't want people to laugh at us.
She didn't really care if the whole world would laugh at her if she could only be able to be close to him! But it didn't make any sense to follow a fantasy like that. Whatever Caldina had made Clef drink, when it's effects faded everything will be the same it had always been. That's why the best thing to do was make a joke out of this whole situation and to avoid the dance invitation.
- Short? - Clef mumbled, suddenly serious.
- Well, you are... - she nodded, still smiling - what you need is a girl as short as you... Why don't you ask Princess Aska a dance?
For an instant, the master mage stood still, as valuing the proposition of dancing with the short monarch of Fahrem. Then, all of a sudden, he joined both his hands at his chest level and rubbed them one against the other, mumbling muffled words. A blinding light covered him completely, blinding the woman who didn't even dare to move a single muscle.
When the glow banished, Presea opened her eyes, fearful that something terrible could have happened to Guru Clef. However, what was presented to her sight went far beyond her most incredible dreams. Who was this man with lavender hair and majestic appearance that now leaned forward to her with exquisite courtesy? He was a few inches taller than she was and she couldn't remember having seeing him before. However, his smiling face was oddly familiar. And when she looked into his sky blue eyes, she knew for sure who he was.
- Because I have no wish of dancing with her. - Guru Clef's voice spoke, coming out of those strange lips.
- But... is it you? Is it really you? - Presea babbled. She couldn't take her eyes off of this new version of Clef now in front of her. He was breathtaking. If she didn't already love him more than life itself, she would have surely fallen for him that very second.
- Have I really changed that much? - the master mage smiled - I only grew up a little... so that you had to look for better excuse, if you still don't want to dance with me.
The artisan searched her mind for a quick and stylish way out of this new complication, but unfortunately, or fortunately for that matter, she couldn't find any. Besides, much to her grief, she didn't really feel like rejecting this new and improved Clef. Who could possibly resist him?
- All right. - she agreed apparently in a bad mood.
The smile that spread on the mage's features almost made her pass away. They walked to the dance floor silently, and once there they joined other couples that danced happily. They swirled and swirled all around the saloon, until the up beat rhythm they had been following 'til then was replaced by a much slower song. Too slow in Presea's opinion.
- It's been a pleasure... - she began to excuse herself, assuming the end of the song meant the end of her dance with the mage. But apparently, he didn't have any intention of letting her go, as he kept hold of her wrist.
- I hope you're not thinking you can leave me to dance with some other guy, right? - Clef interrupted her with mischievous expression - After what I had to do to convince you, I'm entitled to request every dance from you. You're mine tonight...
Presea blushed wildly, but she didn't answer. There went her last try of resisting the mage's charms. From that moment on, she didn't care how drunk he was or how much she was going to regret the following day what she was doing now. She just let the man she loved take her in his arms again and this way, the night that should have lasted forever went away in a few hours...
ººººº End of the Flashback ººººº
- Presea? Presea!
The artisan started, being abruptly taken out of her daydream. She turned around, still flustered, only to meet alone to meet Caldina's mischievous blue eyes.
- What's going on with you? You've been very thoughtful lately. - the dancer inquired.
- It's nothing.
- I don't believe you! What will I have as a prize if I guess what is this all about?
Presea turned away, trying to hide her face from the illusionist's inquisitive look. She wasn't very sure if her feelings were that obvious or if it was that simply, Caldina had too much talent to read people's hearts. The truth was she could never hide anything from her friend.
- And that blushing face is giving me a hint... - the dancer insisted - I bet my beautiful body it has something to do with an old and decrepit master mage...
- Clef is not decrepit! - Presea blew up, reddening even more.
- Gotcha! I knew it had something to do with him!
- I don't know how can you be always smelling out other people's business...
- Come on, Presea, you're quite obvious! The entire castle knows about your feelings for that grumpy old Guru...
The artisan sighed loudly. That "decrepit grouch", as Caldina liked to call him, was the person she loved the most. She couldn't even remember how had she came to fall in love with him that way. Perhaps playing the role of her twin sister, the true Presea, she had forcefully ended up giving her heart to the same man she had when she lived.
- I'm sure everybody thinks I'm a fool... - she mumbled sadly.
- Not at all! - Caldina denied - He is the fool!
- Who is the fool? - Umi asked, entering just then into the living room where both women were. Presea trembled only to think that Caldina could answer to that question with the truth. She knew, or she thought she knew with all certainty that if the magician they wee talking about had a heart to give, the strongest candidate to win it would be the Water Knight.
- Well, I'm talking about Lafarga! Who else? - the dancer answered shamelessly - You know, women in love are the most monotonous creatures in the world. Always talking about the same thing and the same thing, that is to say, the object of our love! And by the way... - her smile became malicious - Whom does my little Umi speak of?
The blue haired girl blushed slightly, which Presea considered to be a very ill omen, knowing that Umi had gone with Guru Clef into the throne room after breakfast.
- Oh, as a matter of fact I was looking for you because I need your help... - the blush grew in the magic knight's cheeks, while her voice diminished til almost becoming a whisper.
- Love affairs? - Caldina insinuated - You have come to the right place! Let's see, what is it? I'm all ears!
- Well... - Umi trailed off. What she wanted to speak with Caldina was a bit embarrassing. To tell the truth, it was something she had never done before. She never had the need of it.
However, Presea interpreted the girl's silence as a sign that her presence was unwanted.
- I would love to stay here chatting with you guys - she said getting up with a weak smile - but I still have things to do before the arrival of our Chizetian visitors.
And she left, ignoring the relieved expression on Umi's face and Caldina's frown. Already in the hall, the artisan let out a long sigh she didn't know she was holding, as she leaned back against the wall. She couldn't take it anymore. She felt like her heart could blow up any minute, from yearning what she would seemingly never have. Two thick teardrops slid down her cheeks. If little hopes she had before, those she kept had died with the Magic Knight's return. The dream in her mind had to finish. And she had to be the one who put an end to it once and for all.
Presea straightened out, her face now completely dry and full with determination. The corridor to her feet guided her resolved steps, as well as the firm decision she had just made would guide her actions from that moment on. That had been the last time she cried for Guru Clef's love.
ºººººººººº
Fuu's breathing went back to normal step by step, as her upset chest calmed down. Her body was not used to the wild run she had forced it to undergo. Everything trying to avoid Ferio, since she didn't feel strong enough to face him. Actually, she didn't believe she would ever be brave enough to face him knowing it was forbidden her to love him. And probably, she had a part of the blame in that.
She looked at her surroundings. In her crazy escape, she didn't even bother to watch which way she was going. Now she could see it, the last door she had crossed had taken her to one of the so many interior gardens of Cefiro's castle. A particularly small and insignificant garden, but not enough to go unnoticed. She went back immediately. That place wasn't good for her. Gardens were public places... where anyone could enter and find her.
It was too late. Before she could reach the door, another visitor showed up. The magic knight looked around frantically for a way out, but she couldn't find one. This garden had only an entrance, blocked right then by a person that, Fuu knew it, wouldn't let her go so easily.
- Are you running away from something... or someone? - Ferio asked, congratulating himself for having followed the girl, when seeing her go by the corridor like an speeding gale.
He didn't get any answer. The blonde continued hopelessly looking for a way out of such quandary. There was no way out. She had locked herself in a mousetrap. She had no choice but to face the consequences. However, very soon she realized her body was not willing to stand by her. She bit her lip in utter impotence as she placed a nervous look at the tip of her shoes. Those, a spot in the floor, any thing diverting her sight as far as possible from his face.
- I've been wanting to talk to you, Fuu, ever since you came back - the prince continued, seeing that the girl didn't answer him - but for one or another reason, I could never come closer to you. I even thought you were trying to avoid me.
The girl still remained silent. What could she tell him? That it was true, that she did have tried to avoid to be left alone with him? That her heart was tearing apart because of that unfortunate engagement? That she was as guilty as he was, but in spite of everything, there was nothing they could do? No. She preferred to remain silent. To remain silent and to wait. After all, the whole situation couldn't possibly get any worse.
But Fuu was wrong, she understood it quickly when Ferio came closer to her and he hugged her hard, not giving her time to react, as if he wasn't willing to let her go again. The magic knight closed her eyes, fighting boldly not to cry. This was much worse!
- Let go off me! - it was an order, a completely unusual peremptory tone on Fuu's lips. Much more when she shoved him off to quickly undid the hug the prince had caught her in . He watched for an instant, taken aback by her rejection. He was convinced that the most difficult would be to come closer to her. But apparently nothing will be easy for him with the magic knight.
- I know, I owe you an explanation...
- You owe me nothing. - Fuu cut him up dryly - Your life is yours to deal with, and I have no right to punish you for wanting to be happy.
She had to be strong, to show him a hard and intransigent side of her personality. She couldn't falter now, she couldn't allow it, she had no right to be weak. But no one could possibly know how tough was for her the simple fact of avoiding Ferio's eyes.
- Yes, I want to be happy. - the man nodded - However, I'm more than sure that my happiness is now standing in front of me, even if she doesn't want to look at me. Oh, Fuu, I have dreamt of your eyes and your smiles...
- Stop it! - she exclaimed, being finally able to take two steps back - You shouldn't say such thing! It's not right! And it's not fair...
This last sentence escaped from her lips in a whisper. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Ferio was telling her those things. He shouldn't say them, and she shouldn't hear them, not even if they sounded like heavenly music to her ears. For yes, she needed his love. She wanted it so much that the single idea that he would soon belong to another woman was killing her slowly. Nevertheless, she couldn't stop thinking how would she feel herself if another girl sought her fiancé. If princess Tarta was in love with him, she had no right to get in their way. Besides, how could it be that Ferio was thinking on spending the rest of his life with someone he didn't love? He logically had to feel something for his fiancée.
- I don't love the princess. - he seemed to read the thoughts fluttering inside the magic knight, and that doubt, as logic as it was, hurt him deeply, almost as much as Fuu's heart-stricken eyes now looking at him openly - I never loved her, never!
Not being able to hold himself any further, the prince walked again the gap separating him from the magic knight and he hugged her even stronger, still pouring his feelings on the soul of the girl now immobile within his embrace.
- Chizeta's king was the one who proposed this engagement, like a proof of good will among our countries. Of course, I refused in the beginning, but I couldn't help but giving a second and even a third thought to the idea. I was suffering bitterly, Fuu, I suffered so much, I missed you too much and I thought... Oh, what a big mistake... I curse the bad day such idea settled on my mind! I thought that, since you and your friends were not coming back, perhaps one of the princesses could help me to forget... I know I shouldn't do it, but after all, I supposed none of them could possibly be in love with me, since we hardly knew each other... I should have known no one could ever make me forget you...
Ferio backed off a little to look at Fuu's face. Her green eyes were full with unshed tears, tears she wouldn't let out. He brushed her cheek smoothly. He only had to look at her to know he could never love another woman! How could he be so stupid to think he could?
- Fuu... please, say you forgive me... I've been a fool, I know I have... but I've also suffered wretchedly... your absence made me weak and coward... I love you so much...
- There's nothing to forgive... - she still fought the magnetic action emanating from his golden eyes and his bewitching words.
- Then say that you love me! - Ferio demanded ardently - Say it!
- I don't...
Whatever she was about to say, the prince didn't let her finish. The girl's emerald look whispered him slightly about her love for him and however, her mouth was about to say something cruel. Something quite wise, that's for sure, but he didn't want to hear it. So he did the only thing he could. He kept those merciless lips silenced by covering them with his.
Fuu didn't resist, but she didn't kiss him back. She quietly rose a prayer to any superior entity Cefiro could have. She was requesting strength to reject the only man she would ever love. Even knowing he felt the same way for her. Now she fully understood what never meant.
"Never again..." her mind screamed, while he kissed her fiercely, almost desperately. "Never again, Fuu... You must bid farewell to love..."
- You are so cruel, Fuu. - Ferio had let her go and he looked at her in utter sadness - But it doesn't matter. I've learned my lesson.
He went slowly to the small door that led out of the garden. Once there, he turned around to look at the girl.
- Even knowing you don't love me, I'll never stop loving you. When the night of the dance comes, I'll break up my engagement to princess Tarta. It wouldn't be fair for her to spend the rest of her life with a man who will never be completely hers.
The magic knight shot her eyes opened in astonishment. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Was he really going to undo his engagement? Because of her?
- Ferio! - she called with an strange voice she could barely recognize as her own - You can't do such thing! You have to be true to your word. You are a prince!
A withered smile appeared in the face of the future sovereign of Cefiro.
- Guru Clef foreboded me to see you and I disobeyed him deliberately. It's not the first time I promise something I can't carry out. I don't have what you call "word", so I don't think I would be a good ruler. - he shrugged, looking at Fuu intensely - The way I see it, words are hollow and empty when they don't come out from the heart. And as for mine... a long time ago it left my chest, to take refuge in your arms.
Fuu still tried to hold back her tears. Ferio's sad expression was moving her much more than any passionate rapture.
- I would rather be a wandering knight if I could have your love. So, if I'm to be the king of Cefiro - he concluded steadily - only Fuu Hououji could be its queen. But am I worthy of a throne if I don't even deserve a kiss from the woman I love?
Though firm, his words were also full of bitterness. He shrugged and once again he turned to leave. But the Wind Knight couldn't let him go thinking she didn't feel a thing for him. Because that was not true. And even when she was already decided to accept what seemed to be her sad and lonely destiny, Ferio's suffering was far beyond what she could take.
- Wait!
Maybe if she had given it a second thought, she wouldn't have done it. But then again her brain couldn't silence the strong voice coming from her heart. She ran to Ferio, hugging him right when he was turning around to face her. And she kissed him, she kissed him with her soul, with all her love for him and with the longing she had restrained for five endless years. The prince's surprise disappeared at once, with the intimate conviction that his happiness had just came back to his door. He kissed back with passion, feeling like the girl practically melted on his arms. Which had been given to him only to embrace her, he was now sure of that.
- I... - Fuu panted, blushing deeply - I love you too... and I always will...
A cheerful spark lit in Ferio's yellowish eyes.
- Now I can face the whole world! - he shouted jubilant - With your love to shield me, I can do anything!
Another kiss, slower, deeper. And the Wind Knight forced herself back into reality.
- Will you really break the engagement? Don't you think the problem could only get worst?
- I don't think the king of Chizeta wants to condemn his daughter to a loveless life. I'll honestly tell him everything and I hope he understands me. I'll also tell the princess.
- I don't want to cause any trouble... - Fuu mumbled cuddling up against his chest.
- And I don't want to live without you - the prince brushed the girl's blond curls softly - so just let me take care of this. Trust me, would you?
A genuine smile and a soft emerald look told Ferio the Wind Knight trusted him absolutely. The same way she loved him. He kissed the tip of her nose as he hugged her fondly. Now that he had her back, he would make sure to never let her go again.
However, the feeling of guilt was still dwelling inside Fuu. Although the man tried to simplify everything, the situation was quite complicated.
- What's the matter now? - he inquired as he grabbed the feminine chin, staring into the green orb now reflecting concern - My always thoughtful Fuu still has remorse?
The girl was surprised when seeing how he had just guessed what she was feeling. She stirred on his arms. She was yet to be in peace.
- It's just that I... Ferio, I don't deserve... I also tried to forget you...
- Always so austere, my love... If you have already forgiven me, why can't you forgive yourself? - Ferio smiled, causing a new blush on the gilr - Just thinks that forgetting seemed the most logical thing to do after five years of absence. All the inhabitants of the castle gave it a try, because they missed you magic knights and it was very hard for us. Even Ascot seemed to resign to not seeing Umi again... Although... actually there was a person who was senseless enough, or sensible enough for that matter, to not try.
- Really? Who are you talking about? - Fuu asked curiously - Guru Clef? Perhaps he did know we were going to come back?
- No. I'm talking about Lantis. He never forgot...
- Lantis? - the magic knight was very surprised at his answer - But he has a cefirian girlfriend!
- What? - now the prince was the astonished one - Who told you such nonsense?
ºººººººººº
The door closed with a light hiss. Guru Clef looked at the artisan with curious expression as she had just entered his room. He quickly said to himself that the woman's expression was too serious, and he got ready for bad news.
- I need to talk to you. - she said, letting out a barely noticeable sigh.
- I'm listening. - the mage urged her.
- The day after the engagement ball, I plan to leave Cefiro.
- What?
- I'm asking the princesses or the kings of Chizeta to let me travel with them to their country. - Presea explained - I trust they won't refuse.
The short mage scrutinized the artisan's features for a moment. However, the seriousness shining on the feminine features didn't let him see beyond her brown eyes.
- Why? - he asked with a tone that rather sounded like an order.
- Do you want me to make out some random excuse? - the woman smiled sadly - Or do you want me to tell you the truth?
- The truth. - Guru Clef demanded.
Presea inhaled deeply. "Here goes nothing" she thought and she dove into the blue pools of his eyes.
- Because I love you.
The master mage shook his head, stunned by what he had just heard. He already knew that the true Presea loved him and he also knew that this, her twin sister, felt the same way for him. He had tried to ignore such feelings, because it was his duty, and he had certainly made it, although not completely. Nevertheless, he didn't understand what was just happening. And so he said.
- Don't you understand? - the artisan inquired, sarcasm dwelling in her voice - That's because you have never loved anyone in your entire life. Poor Presea, poor Water Knight... and poor me.
She let out a bitter laughter.
- You are so insensitive, Guru Clef! I don't know what did my sister see in you, I don't know what does Umi see in you and certainly, I don't understand why I can't forget your damned blue eyes that pursue me even in my dreams. I must be going nuts! Yes, that's what I thought when I realized I had fallen love with you. And even so, I couldn't take you out of my heart, although I would have wanted to eradicate that feeling, to pull it up as if it was a weed.
- Presea... - the mage mumbled more and more astonished.
- No! - she shouted, cutting him off - You asked for the truth and you will have it, one last time you'll have it. I didn't want to love you. I knew how much my sister suffered because of you, and I had a grudge against you for that reason. But you must be truly a great sorcerer, because my ill-feeling soon became a very different feeling! And I loved you, and I dreamt of your love and I stuck to you like a shade, only to be near you was good enough for me.
The tears ran freely all over Presea's upset face, as she no longer held them, it didn't matter anymore. One last time, and then she will be done.
- I even thought Presea had been very silly, if loving you like I know she did she had resigned to leave to the Forest of Silence. I didn't understand how she had been able to be without you, when I felt myself unable of such feat. But now I understand her...
A new sigh, a choked one. A little more. Only a bit more and then she would be free to fly away, far away from him.
- I love you - Presea's twin asserted again - but you will never feel the same for me. My sister knew it, and that's why she left. I know so, I understand now... and I'll also leave, because such truth is unbearable to me. I can't torture myself anymore, seeing you every day and knowing I have no hopes of winning the stone you call your heart. I must put an end to all this.
- Presea... - Guru Clef tried to speak again.
- I'm not Presea. - the artisan rose with dignity - She didn't have courage enough to stay away from you. She even came to the castle to see you or she communicated with you through Mokona. I won't come back, Guru Clef.
The whole time, her eyes stared at the mage's tiny figure, as if she wanted to burn his features into her memory forever. She had lied. She did know why she loved Guru Clef. He had it all to make any woman happy. He had so many virtues that to enumerate them would have been endless. But he didn't have the most important and the most wanted thing. He didn't have a heart.
She no longer wanted to see him. She had to leave. She looked away and she turned to the door. The mage didn't speak. What could he say? He felt like the high prop of his room had fallen on him, squashing him to the ground. And in spite of everything, he was not able to understand why did he feel that way. Or simply, he didn't want to understand it.
- I'll leave after the ball, Guru Clef. - the feminine voice resonated hollowly - And I won't come back.
This time, Guru Clef found the hiss of the door to be much drier and more strident, when seeing it and hearing it close behind the false Presea.
To be continued...
Next chapter: Duty
Graysky: Yep, mistakes are what make this whole story have sense... or not. Anyway, this chapter won't make you feel better about L/H but it can help on other subjects. Maybe we have been talking about brothers and sisters and someone got mixed up. Hope you like this chappie ^_^
Miko Windam: Hey! I would never throw my TV at you! How'd I watch Anime if I'd do that? He's being an idiot you're right, so, what's the big deal? But honestly, jealousy can do that to you... *mumbles something about stupid cheating boyfriends* Well, F/F, like I promised!!
Smoky Kisses: Thanks! Here it is, to make your world happy and bright! My boyfriend never got jealous of anime charas... actually, he's some kind of blend between Lantis and Eagle *I'm a lucky bitch, I know* Well, keep loving both Ascot and you bf... tehehe
a n g e l . w 1 n g: Well, you know, poor Ascot has been in love with Umi for years and you still want her with Clef... So you're mean to the boy. But I guess that's fair, I like Clef too. I would be in serious trouble if I was the Water Knight!!
Cev: Please don't cry! I didn't mean to... well, I did expected that sort of reaction. Chapter 9 was really wicked... To tell you the truth, Lantis is jealous as a mad dog, that's all. maybe you'll find some answers in this chappie... or you'll be even more puzzled. Just go and read some!
Liadel: *snatches Lantis away* You won't kill my Lantis!!!! *glare* Well, I don't wanna sound like Primera here, but he IS MINE!!!! Even if he's being incredibly mean lately... But don't worry, he'll get better... or worst *evil cackle* In the mean time, have some F/F!
Yume no Kokoro: I'm really flattered you could stand A/U only because of my fic!! I know, that's a huge compliment, U/C fans are usually very against Ascot. Oh, well, thanks again!
Bunny: Oh, please, don't tell me you cried too... I think I'm gonna change this fic into the drama category. Hmmm, Lantis IS cold to everyone, isn't he? As for if he is really in love with someone else... you'll find out later on. And Tarta is the one engaged to Ferio, you know the nasty sister. The silly sister is in love with... but I guess you read that already... ^_^
Former Anime Goddess6: *smacks random person in the head* Don't call her a suckup! She's a su... I mean, she's just sensitive! Ok, no random person now. I'm sorry to make you cry (You didn't really cry, right?) I'm working hard on suspense, yeah, thanks for noting it. Here's the next chapter... to make you cry a little more -_-
Momentum: Now this chapter is half frustration, half other random stuff. It's time for a change. But next chapter will be DEVASTATING! Even I cried when I wrote it! That's when everybody will really start doing stupid things. So, stay tuned!
One more time, I'm terribly sorry for the delay. Next will be up as usual, in a week or so, I promise! Before you go on into my soap opera, just remember I don't own Rayearth, just a computer, an obsession on every anime and a huge imagination. That's it.
Just read and enjoy!
*** Battling emotions ***
Chapter X
Presea - Liberty
Presea sighed slightly. One more day in Cefiro, just like every other day. Even though everybody was more or less thrilled with the next arrival of the kings of Chizeta. Never before they had had the opportunity to receive such illustrious people, except that one time when Autozam's President visited Cefiro, a couple of years ago. Around the date in which Eagle Vision regained his consciousness, coming out of his delayed coma unexpectedly. Which also coincided queerly with Lantis' sudden arrival. It was a great celebration, seen how grateful was the autozamian leader with his only son's definitive recovery, for he was almost lost for his countrymen. The artisan was particularly fond to the memories she had from that occasion and she had her reasons. Never before Guru Clef had left aside his severe continent of Cefiro's protector to show a behavior more human-like. Never before and never after that, for that matter, Clef had been nearer to the people who cared for him.
Presea let out another sigh. She wouldn't forget that night for as long as she lived. She just closed her eyes and she could easily revive the image of the short magician, shaken by the wine someone had convince him to drink for the first time in his long life, laughing and enjoying the party like everybody else...
ººººº Flashback ººººº
- Presea!
The artisan turned around with a smile, when she heard Guru Clef's voice. He was coming towards her with brilliant eyes.
- Would you dance with me?
- I didn't know you could dance at your age... - she joked.
The short mage swirled around swiftly, quite nimbly, and with this the woman confirmed her belief that this particular night, he was not himself.
- I can still teach you some lessons! - Clef asserted bearing a mischievous smile - What do you say?
It was really tempting, to think she could let him take her wherever he wanted, and however Presea did what she had always done whenever related to him. She held herself.
- I say you're very short and we would probably look bizarre dancing together. I don't want people to laugh at us.
She didn't really care if the whole world would laugh at her if she could only be able to be close to him! But it didn't make any sense to follow a fantasy like that. Whatever Caldina had made Clef drink, when it's effects faded everything will be the same it had always been. That's why the best thing to do was make a joke out of this whole situation and to avoid the dance invitation.
- Short? - Clef mumbled, suddenly serious.
- Well, you are... - she nodded, still smiling - what you need is a girl as short as you... Why don't you ask Princess Aska a dance?
For an instant, the master mage stood still, as valuing the proposition of dancing with the short monarch of Fahrem. Then, all of a sudden, he joined both his hands at his chest level and rubbed them one against the other, mumbling muffled words. A blinding light covered him completely, blinding the woman who didn't even dare to move a single muscle.
When the glow banished, Presea opened her eyes, fearful that something terrible could have happened to Guru Clef. However, what was presented to her sight went far beyond her most incredible dreams. Who was this man with lavender hair and majestic appearance that now leaned forward to her with exquisite courtesy? He was a few inches taller than she was and she couldn't remember having seeing him before. However, his smiling face was oddly familiar. And when she looked into his sky blue eyes, she knew for sure who he was.
- Because I have no wish of dancing with her. - Guru Clef's voice spoke, coming out of those strange lips.
- But... is it you? Is it really you? - Presea babbled. She couldn't take her eyes off of this new version of Clef now in front of her. He was breathtaking. If she didn't already love him more than life itself, she would have surely fallen for him that very second.
- Have I really changed that much? - the master mage smiled - I only grew up a little... so that you had to look for better excuse, if you still don't want to dance with me.
The artisan searched her mind for a quick and stylish way out of this new complication, but unfortunately, or fortunately for that matter, she couldn't find any. Besides, much to her grief, she didn't really feel like rejecting this new and improved Clef. Who could possibly resist him?
- All right. - she agreed apparently in a bad mood.
The smile that spread on the mage's features almost made her pass away. They walked to the dance floor silently, and once there they joined other couples that danced happily. They swirled and swirled all around the saloon, until the up beat rhythm they had been following 'til then was replaced by a much slower song. Too slow in Presea's opinion.
- It's been a pleasure... - she began to excuse herself, assuming the end of the song meant the end of her dance with the mage. But apparently, he didn't have any intention of letting her go, as he kept hold of her wrist.
- I hope you're not thinking you can leave me to dance with some other guy, right? - Clef interrupted her with mischievous expression - After what I had to do to convince you, I'm entitled to request every dance from you. You're mine tonight...
Presea blushed wildly, but she didn't answer. There went her last try of resisting the mage's charms. From that moment on, she didn't care how drunk he was or how much she was going to regret the following day what she was doing now. She just let the man she loved take her in his arms again and this way, the night that should have lasted forever went away in a few hours...
ººººº End of the Flashback ººººº
- Presea? Presea!
The artisan started, being abruptly taken out of her daydream. She turned around, still flustered, only to meet alone to meet Caldina's mischievous blue eyes.
- What's going on with you? You've been very thoughtful lately. - the dancer inquired.
- It's nothing.
- I don't believe you! What will I have as a prize if I guess what is this all about?
Presea turned away, trying to hide her face from the illusionist's inquisitive look. She wasn't very sure if her feelings were that obvious or if it was that simply, Caldina had too much talent to read people's hearts. The truth was she could never hide anything from her friend.
- And that blushing face is giving me a hint... - the dancer insisted - I bet my beautiful body it has something to do with an old and decrepit master mage...
- Clef is not decrepit! - Presea blew up, reddening even more.
- Gotcha! I knew it had something to do with him!
- I don't know how can you be always smelling out other people's business...
- Come on, Presea, you're quite obvious! The entire castle knows about your feelings for that grumpy old Guru...
The artisan sighed loudly. That "decrepit grouch", as Caldina liked to call him, was the person she loved the most. She couldn't even remember how had she came to fall in love with him that way. Perhaps playing the role of her twin sister, the true Presea, she had forcefully ended up giving her heart to the same man she had when she lived.
- I'm sure everybody thinks I'm a fool... - she mumbled sadly.
- Not at all! - Caldina denied - He is the fool!
- Who is the fool? - Umi asked, entering just then into the living room where both women were. Presea trembled only to think that Caldina could answer to that question with the truth. She knew, or she thought she knew with all certainty that if the magician they wee talking about had a heart to give, the strongest candidate to win it would be the Water Knight.
- Well, I'm talking about Lafarga! Who else? - the dancer answered shamelessly - You know, women in love are the most monotonous creatures in the world. Always talking about the same thing and the same thing, that is to say, the object of our love! And by the way... - her smile became malicious - Whom does my little Umi speak of?
The blue haired girl blushed slightly, which Presea considered to be a very ill omen, knowing that Umi had gone with Guru Clef into the throne room after breakfast.
- Oh, as a matter of fact I was looking for you because I need your help... - the blush grew in the magic knight's cheeks, while her voice diminished til almost becoming a whisper.
- Love affairs? - Caldina insinuated - You have come to the right place! Let's see, what is it? I'm all ears!
- Well... - Umi trailed off. What she wanted to speak with Caldina was a bit embarrassing. To tell the truth, it was something she had never done before. She never had the need of it.
However, Presea interpreted the girl's silence as a sign that her presence was unwanted.
- I would love to stay here chatting with you guys - she said getting up with a weak smile - but I still have things to do before the arrival of our Chizetian visitors.
And she left, ignoring the relieved expression on Umi's face and Caldina's frown. Already in the hall, the artisan let out a long sigh she didn't know she was holding, as she leaned back against the wall. She couldn't take it anymore. She felt like her heart could blow up any minute, from yearning what she would seemingly never have. Two thick teardrops slid down her cheeks. If little hopes she had before, those she kept had died with the Magic Knight's return. The dream in her mind had to finish. And she had to be the one who put an end to it once and for all.
Presea straightened out, her face now completely dry and full with determination. The corridor to her feet guided her resolved steps, as well as the firm decision she had just made would guide her actions from that moment on. That had been the last time she cried for Guru Clef's love.
ºººººººººº
Fuu's breathing went back to normal step by step, as her upset chest calmed down. Her body was not used to the wild run she had forced it to undergo. Everything trying to avoid Ferio, since she didn't feel strong enough to face him. Actually, she didn't believe she would ever be brave enough to face him knowing it was forbidden her to love him. And probably, she had a part of the blame in that.
She looked at her surroundings. In her crazy escape, she didn't even bother to watch which way she was going. Now she could see it, the last door she had crossed had taken her to one of the so many interior gardens of Cefiro's castle. A particularly small and insignificant garden, but not enough to go unnoticed. She went back immediately. That place wasn't good for her. Gardens were public places... where anyone could enter and find her.
It was too late. Before she could reach the door, another visitor showed up. The magic knight looked around frantically for a way out, but she couldn't find one. This garden had only an entrance, blocked right then by a person that, Fuu knew it, wouldn't let her go so easily.
- Are you running away from something... or someone? - Ferio asked, congratulating himself for having followed the girl, when seeing her go by the corridor like an speeding gale.
He didn't get any answer. The blonde continued hopelessly looking for a way out of such quandary. There was no way out. She had locked herself in a mousetrap. She had no choice but to face the consequences. However, very soon she realized her body was not willing to stand by her. She bit her lip in utter impotence as she placed a nervous look at the tip of her shoes. Those, a spot in the floor, any thing diverting her sight as far as possible from his face.
- I've been wanting to talk to you, Fuu, ever since you came back - the prince continued, seeing that the girl didn't answer him - but for one or another reason, I could never come closer to you. I even thought you were trying to avoid me.
The girl still remained silent. What could she tell him? That it was true, that she did have tried to avoid to be left alone with him? That her heart was tearing apart because of that unfortunate engagement? That she was as guilty as he was, but in spite of everything, there was nothing they could do? No. She preferred to remain silent. To remain silent and to wait. After all, the whole situation couldn't possibly get any worse.
But Fuu was wrong, she understood it quickly when Ferio came closer to her and he hugged her hard, not giving her time to react, as if he wasn't willing to let her go again. The magic knight closed her eyes, fighting boldly not to cry. This was much worse!
- Let go off me! - it was an order, a completely unusual peremptory tone on Fuu's lips. Much more when she shoved him off to quickly undid the hug the prince had caught her in . He watched for an instant, taken aback by her rejection. He was convinced that the most difficult would be to come closer to her. But apparently nothing will be easy for him with the magic knight.
- I know, I owe you an explanation...
- You owe me nothing. - Fuu cut him up dryly - Your life is yours to deal with, and I have no right to punish you for wanting to be happy.
She had to be strong, to show him a hard and intransigent side of her personality. She couldn't falter now, she couldn't allow it, she had no right to be weak. But no one could possibly know how tough was for her the simple fact of avoiding Ferio's eyes.
- Yes, I want to be happy. - the man nodded - However, I'm more than sure that my happiness is now standing in front of me, even if she doesn't want to look at me. Oh, Fuu, I have dreamt of your eyes and your smiles...
- Stop it! - she exclaimed, being finally able to take two steps back - You shouldn't say such thing! It's not right! And it's not fair...
This last sentence escaped from her lips in a whisper. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Ferio was telling her those things. He shouldn't say them, and she shouldn't hear them, not even if they sounded like heavenly music to her ears. For yes, she needed his love. She wanted it so much that the single idea that he would soon belong to another woman was killing her slowly. Nevertheless, she couldn't stop thinking how would she feel herself if another girl sought her fiancé. If princess Tarta was in love with him, she had no right to get in their way. Besides, how could it be that Ferio was thinking on spending the rest of his life with someone he didn't love? He logically had to feel something for his fiancée.
- I don't love the princess. - he seemed to read the thoughts fluttering inside the magic knight, and that doubt, as logic as it was, hurt him deeply, almost as much as Fuu's heart-stricken eyes now looking at him openly - I never loved her, never!
Not being able to hold himself any further, the prince walked again the gap separating him from the magic knight and he hugged her even stronger, still pouring his feelings on the soul of the girl now immobile within his embrace.
- Chizeta's king was the one who proposed this engagement, like a proof of good will among our countries. Of course, I refused in the beginning, but I couldn't help but giving a second and even a third thought to the idea. I was suffering bitterly, Fuu, I suffered so much, I missed you too much and I thought... Oh, what a big mistake... I curse the bad day such idea settled on my mind! I thought that, since you and your friends were not coming back, perhaps one of the princesses could help me to forget... I know I shouldn't do it, but after all, I supposed none of them could possibly be in love with me, since we hardly knew each other... I should have known no one could ever make me forget you...
Ferio backed off a little to look at Fuu's face. Her green eyes were full with unshed tears, tears she wouldn't let out. He brushed her cheek smoothly. He only had to look at her to know he could never love another woman! How could he be so stupid to think he could?
- Fuu... please, say you forgive me... I've been a fool, I know I have... but I've also suffered wretchedly... your absence made me weak and coward... I love you so much...
- There's nothing to forgive... - she still fought the magnetic action emanating from his golden eyes and his bewitching words.
- Then say that you love me! - Ferio demanded ardently - Say it!
- I don't...
Whatever she was about to say, the prince didn't let her finish. The girl's emerald look whispered him slightly about her love for him and however, her mouth was about to say something cruel. Something quite wise, that's for sure, but he didn't want to hear it. So he did the only thing he could. He kept those merciless lips silenced by covering them with his.
Fuu didn't resist, but she didn't kiss him back. She quietly rose a prayer to any superior entity Cefiro could have. She was requesting strength to reject the only man she would ever love. Even knowing he felt the same way for her. Now she fully understood what never meant.
"Never again..." her mind screamed, while he kissed her fiercely, almost desperately. "Never again, Fuu... You must bid farewell to love..."
- You are so cruel, Fuu. - Ferio had let her go and he looked at her in utter sadness - But it doesn't matter. I've learned my lesson.
He went slowly to the small door that led out of the garden. Once there, he turned around to look at the girl.
- Even knowing you don't love me, I'll never stop loving you. When the night of the dance comes, I'll break up my engagement to princess Tarta. It wouldn't be fair for her to spend the rest of her life with a man who will never be completely hers.
The magic knight shot her eyes opened in astonishment. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Was he really going to undo his engagement? Because of her?
- Ferio! - she called with an strange voice she could barely recognize as her own - You can't do such thing! You have to be true to your word. You are a prince!
A withered smile appeared in the face of the future sovereign of Cefiro.
- Guru Clef foreboded me to see you and I disobeyed him deliberately. It's not the first time I promise something I can't carry out. I don't have what you call "word", so I don't think I would be a good ruler. - he shrugged, looking at Fuu intensely - The way I see it, words are hollow and empty when they don't come out from the heart. And as for mine... a long time ago it left my chest, to take refuge in your arms.
Fuu still tried to hold back her tears. Ferio's sad expression was moving her much more than any passionate rapture.
- I would rather be a wandering knight if I could have your love. So, if I'm to be the king of Cefiro - he concluded steadily - only Fuu Hououji could be its queen. But am I worthy of a throne if I don't even deserve a kiss from the woman I love?
Though firm, his words were also full of bitterness. He shrugged and once again he turned to leave. But the Wind Knight couldn't let him go thinking she didn't feel a thing for him. Because that was not true. And even when she was already decided to accept what seemed to be her sad and lonely destiny, Ferio's suffering was far beyond what she could take.
- Wait!
Maybe if she had given it a second thought, she wouldn't have done it. But then again her brain couldn't silence the strong voice coming from her heart. She ran to Ferio, hugging him right when he was turning around to face her. And she kissed him, she kissed him with her soul, with all her love for him and with the longing she had restrained for five endless years. The prince's surprise disappeared at once, with the intimate conviction that his happiness had just came back to his door. He kissed back with passion, feeling like the girl practically melted on his arms. Which had been given to him only to embrace her, he was now sure of that.
- I... - Fuu panted, blushing deeply - I love you too... and I always will...
A cheerful spark lit in Ferio's yellowish eyes.
- Now I can face the whole world! - he shouted jubilant - With your love to shield me, I can do anything!
Another kiss, slower, deeper. And the Wind Knight forced herself back into reality.
- Will you really break the engagement? Don't you think the problem could only get worst?
- I don't think the king of Chizeta wants to condemn his daughter to a loveless life. I'll honestly tell him everything and I hope he understands me. I'll also tell the princess.
- I don't want to cause any trouble... - Fuu mumbled cuddling up against his chest.
- And I don't want to live without you - the prince brushed the girl's blond curls softly - so just let me take care of this. Trust me, would you?
A genuine smile and a soft emerald look told Ferio the Wind Knight trusted him absolutely. The same way she loved him. He kissed the tip of her nose as he hugged her fondly. Now that he had her back, he would make sure to never let her go again.
However, the feeling of guilt was still dwelling inside Fuu. Although the man tried to simplify everything, the situation was quite complicated.
- What's the matter now? - he inquired as he grabbed the feminine chin, staring into the green orb now reflecting concern - My always thoughtful Fuu still has remorse?
The girl was surprised when seeing how he had just guessed what she was feeling. She stirred on his arms. She was yet to be in peace.
- It's just that I... Ferio, I don't deserve... I also tried to forget you...
- Always so austere, my love... If you have already forgiven me, why can't you forgive yourself? - Ferio smiled, causing a new blush on the gilr - Just thinks that forgetting seemed the most logical thing to do after five years of absence. All the inhabitants of the castle gave it a try, because they missed you magic knights and it was very hard for us. Even Ascot seemed to resign to not seeing Umi again... Although... actually there was a person who was senseless enough, or sensible enough for that matter, to not try.
- Really? Who are you talking about? - Fuu asked curiously - Guru Clef? Perhaps he did know we were going to come back?
- No. I'm talking about Lantis. He never forgot...
- Lantis? - the magic knight was very surprised at his answer - But he has a cefirian girlfriend!
- What? - now the prince was the astonished one - Who told you such nonsense?
ºººººººººº
The door closed with a light hiss. Guru Clef looked at the artisan with curious expression as she had just entered his room. He quickly said to himself that the woman's expression was too serious, and he got ready for bad news.
- I need to talk to you. - she said, letting out a barely noticeable sigh.
- I'm listening. - the mage urged her.
- The day after the engagement ball, I plan to leave Cefiro.
- What?
- I'm asking the princesses or the kings of Chizeta to let me travel with them to their country. - Presea explained - I trust they won't refuse.
The short mage scrutinized the artisan's features for a moment. However, the seriousness shining on the feminine features didn't let him see beyond her brown eyes.
- Why? - he asked with a tone that rather sounded like an order.
- Do you want me to make out some random excuse? - the woman smiled sadly - Or do you want me to tell you the truth?
- The truth. - Guru Clef demanded.
Presea inhaled deeply. "Here goes nothing" she thought and she dove into the blue pools of his eyes.
- Because I love you.
The master mage shook his head, stunned by what he had just heard. He already knew that the true Presea loved him and he also knew that this, her twin sister, felt the same way for him. He had tried to ignore such feelings, because it was his duty, and he had certainly made it, although not completely. Nevertheless, he didn't understand what was just happening. And so he said.
- Don't you understand? - the artisan inquired, sarcasm dwelling in her voice - That's because you have never loved anyone in your entire life. Poor Presea, poor Water Knight... and poor me.
She let out a bitter laughter.
- You are so insensitive, Guru Clef! I don't know what did my sister see in you, I don't know what does Umi see in you and certainly, I don't understand why I can't forget your damned blue eyes that pursue me even in my dreams. I must be going nuts! Yes, that's what I thought when I realized I had fallen love with you. And even so, I couldn't take you out of my heart, although I would have wanted to eradicate that feeling, to pull it up as if it was a weed.
- Presea... - the mage mumbled more and more astonished.
- No! - she shouted, cutting him off - You asked for the truth and you will have it, one last time you'll have it. I didn't want to love you. I knew how much my sister suffered because of you, and I had a grudge against you for that reason. But you must be truly a great sorcerer, because my ill-feeling soon became a very different feeling! And I loved you, and I dreamt of your love and I stuck to you like a shade, only to be near you was good enough for me.
The tears ran freely all over Presea's upset face, as she no longer held them, it didn't matter anymore. One last time, and then she will be done.
- I even thought Presea had been very silly, if loving you like I know she did she had resigned to leave to the Forest of Silence. I didn't understand how she had been able to be without you, when I felt myself unable of such feat. But now I understand her...
A new sigh, a choked one. A little more. Only a bit more and then she would be free to fly away, far away from him.
- I love you - Presea's twin asserted again - but you will never feel the same for me. My sister knew it, and that's why she left. I know so, I understand now... and I'll also leave, because such truth is unbearable to me. I can't torture myself anymore, seeing you every day and knowing I have no hopes of winning the stone you call your heart. I must put an end to all this.
- Presea... - Guru Clef tried to speak again.
- I'm not Presea. - the artisan rose with dignity - She didn't have courage enough to stay away from you. She even came to the castle to see you or she communicated with you through Mokona. I won't come back, Guru Clef.
The whole time, her eyes stared at the mage's tiny figure, as if she wanted to burn his features into her memory forever. She had lied. She did know why she loved Guru Clef. He had it all to make any woman happy. He had so many virtues that to enumerate them would have been endless. But he didn't have the most important and the most wanted thing. He didn't have a heart.
She no longer wanted to see him. She had to leave. She looked away and she turned to the door. The mage didn't speak. What could he say? He felt like the high prop of his room had fallen on him, squashing him to the ground. And in spite of everything, he was not able to understand why did he feel that way. Or simply, he didn't want to understand it.
- I'll leave after the ball, Guru Clef. - the feminine voice resonated hollowly - And I won't come back.
This time, Guru Clef found the hiss of the door to be much drier and more strident, when seeing it and hearing it close behind the false Presea.
To be continued...
Next chapter: Duty