Disclaimer: Do not own FMA…still
I've finally stopped crying.
I stare down at your tombstone, snow covering my once polished boots.
I want to avenge you, but how do you avenge a dead man, when he never told you why he died?
No, of course I know why you died…because of me, because I let you get involved with the Elric brothers.
I should've known what would happen; Not that I blame the brothers, this was not their fault.
It was mine.
I could go about this in so many ways, I've accepted this, but I could forget about and become insane, pretending you're still with me, talking to a wall.
Or I could hate you for breaking your promise to me.
I could hate the Elric brothers for letting you get involved.
Or I could realize you aren't coming back, I could realize you aren't going to baby sit me anymore, I could realize this and get over it.
But I blame myself, I could've controlled all of this, but now you're gone and I will make it up to you.
I continue to stare at your grave; my boots are no longer visible in the snow.
I shake snow out of my hair and turn away from your remaining shell. I sigh; I can't let this be, not this time.
I notice, at the cemetery gates, Riza; she's standing alone, next to a car.
"Colonel, let me take you home." She whispers to me and I get into the car without protest.
I ask her not to take me back to the dorms, I don't like that place, and you've been there too many times.
I want to go home.
Riza nods and pulls away from the gates, I stare out the window, I can no longer find you among the others, but it's alright, you're there, somewhere.
I sigh again and feel tears in my eyes.
I wipe quickly at my cheeks, watching the houses fly by.
I'll figure this all out in the end, you'll be alright.
I know the choices I am making will make me suffer politically but I'm doing it for you.
I look down at my lap and bite my lip.
I want to go home.
AN: Okay there ya go…