Chapter 3 : FOR THE GREATER GOOD

Dear Miss Granger,

If you have received this letter, it means that peace is back, and Voldemort defeated. All I can hope is that you will at least survive the fight to read these words : my last advice, and above all my confession.

I remember the glitter in your eyes when I told you about the old formula that may be able to call Sirius back from behind the Veil. I know you are the best choice for this mission. You're one of the cleverest students I've ever seen, perfectly at ease with our old documents and traditions, in spite of your Muggle origins. And above all, you're also one of the most loyal, courageous and tenacious people I've ever met. If someone can realize this miracle, it's you, my dear.

In spite of all the more urgent matters I have at hand, I found the time to make sure that there's nothing in the Ministry archives about the ancient Curse of the Veil. You'll have to do your research elsewhere. I advise you to make an appointment with Bathilda Bagshot, or, if the old lady is dead, with Postumus Prattletale. They are our best historians of Magic.

But the purpose of this letter is not to give you advice for your quest. I know you don't really need any. It is to make you the only depositary of the truth about some of my choices and actions concerning your best friend and his godfather. Decisions that, had they been different, would have changed their lives drastically- for the better. On the brink of leaving this life, I feel I must give them the possibility to know that truth, should one or both of them be with you, once the war is over. Though you may ask yourself now why I didn't tell all this to Harry during one of my various conversations with him, once you've finished my letter, you won't. The truth would have shattered his trust in me, and he'll need all the strength he has to face the ordeal that awaits him.

All this began with Jame's refusal to take me as his Secret Keeper. Why did he refuse ? Was it simply, as he said, because I already was a high profile target ? Or was it because I had recently brought Snape into the folds of the Order, which led him to doubt me ? Whatever the reason, he told me he had chosen Sirius. The next thing I heard about them was that Sirius had been arrested under the accusation of having betrayed the Potters and killed Peter Pettigrew.

Sirius never asked me why I didn't do anything to help him, or at least visited him to ask his version of the story. Knowing him, it doesn't surprise me much. He either thought I was perfectly entitled to think him guilty and let him rot in Azkaban, or considered that it was not the time to raise the question when Harry's safety was the main concern. Probably both. But he has the right to know the truth.

It is well known that I'm the one who defeated Gellert Grindelwald, the most powerful dark wizard of our time, after Voldemort himself. But what is far less known, because I made sure of it, is that he was once my friend. When we were young, the two of us had that master plan he later tried to carry on all by himself : to find the Deathly Hallows and wield our new-found power as Masters of Death, leading a Wizarding revolution. We wanted to end the Statute of Secrecy and create a benevolent global order, led by wise and powerful witches and wizards. This implied that we would dominate Muggles. « For the Greater Good », of course. That was Grindelwald's motto.

Our partnership came to an end when Grindelwald attacked my younger brother Aberforth, who was hostile towards our projects. In the three-way duel that followed, my sister Ariana was killed by a curse that I might have produced myself.

I never forgave myself for that. But when I sought protection against my own thirst for power by choosing a professorial career instead of a political one, I was delusional. The success I met as a teacher, then as the headmaster of Hogwarts, the influence I had on my students were an intoxicating form of power too. Besides, my former students admired me, and once some of them achieved positions of authority, they began to spread the idea that I would be the best Minister of Magic our country could ever have. And I was tempted.

I spread the rumor that I had refused the position. And I actually did, after Fudge's resignation. But long before that, I had been encouraged to apply for the position, opposing the favorite candidates of the time, who were no else than Barty Crouch and Cornelius Fudge.

Politics is a shadow war. Fudge knew that I posed a threat for him, he investigated my past and found out about my former friendship with Grindelwald. He even got his hands on some letters from me to my former friend, probably by having them stolen from Bathilda Bagshot's house, and he made me know about it.

I was aware that the letters probably displayed, not only my friendship with Grindelwald, but also my approval of his dangerous ideas. As they had been written when I was very young, the letters were not enough by themselves to destroy me, but Fudge made clear that he wouldn't hesitate to use them, should I come to make one wrong move.

And that's why, to my shame, I didn't do anything when Sirius was arrested and sent to Azkaban without even a trial. When Kingsley Shacklebolt, who had just joined the Aurors, warned me about it, deeply upset, I knew it was my duty to protest against Crouch's illegal methods, and to ask to see Sirius. Instead, I convinced myself that he had to be guilty. Even I wasn't immune to the prejudices linked to the name of Black. And I remembered the dangerous prank played on Severus Snape. I decided that family influence had prevailed in the end, that Sirius might have had a hidden dark side. I even told myself that Sirius had similarities with Grindelwald, such as his charisma and his disregard for any rule, thus deliberately turning a blind eye on Sirius's unwavering loyalty to his friend that I had witnessed so many times.

Besides, the truth is that deep down, I was also aware that should I make any attempt to defend someone who was considered a Death Eater, responsible for a mass murder, Fudge would produce the letters to try and cast doubt on my reliability, not only as a possible Minister of Magic, but as headmaster of Hogwarts as well. Crouch and his Aurors were convinced that Sirius was guilty, and had easily convinced the public as well. So in the end, his surname, which Sirius had hated all his life, and the reputation of his family, which he had always refused to uphold, were his downfall. This, and the fact that I did nothing, because showing any interest for his case could have jeopardized my position.

In my own eyes, it was « for the Greater Good », because I saw my position as the impeccable leader of the Order of the Phoenix as vital for the victory against the Death Eaters. I see now that I wasn't as free from Grindelwald's poisonous influence as I thought .

Much later, I found a way to take from Fudge my letters to Grindelwald. This, added to my support of Harry's statement that Voldemort was back, was seen by Fudge as proof that I was still coveting his position. And that's when he sent Umbridge to control me.

Back to the « Greater Good ». It's also in its name that Harry was condemned, by no one but myself, to spend all his childhood at the Dursleys'.

The reason I always gave him for that choice was a valid one. Petunia's blood could indeed protect him. But there were other options. First of all, Harry's legal guardian, should his parents come to die, was Sirius. And when I gave Hagrid the order not to give Harry to him, I had no reason to doubt that he'd lay down his life to protect his best friend's son. But my mind was already set. Harry was too precious an asset to be left in the care of a very young man, well known for his sometimes reckless and irresponsible behavior. Had I made a different choice that day, Sirius would have made Harry's safety, not revenge over Pettigrew, his priority. He wouldn't have been sent to Azkaban, and Harry would have had a happy childhood.

My first idea was to raise Harry myself. But Crouch, supported by Millicent Bagnold, went against me and planned to have the boy raised under the control of the Minister. I knew I couldn't allow that, for it was impossible to know if the Ministry would be infiltrated by one of Voldemort's minions in the days to come. So I proposed to place Harry at the Dursleys'. Apparently, for the « Greater Good ». In reality, because neither I nor the Minister had wanted to lose control over the Boy-who-lived. Once again, I managed to convince myself that it was better for Harry to grow up in anonymity than to be constantly subjected to the fame that was his in the wizarding world. But I knew how he was treated. I knew he was sleeping in a cupboard and was constantly abused, verbally by his uncle, physically by his cousin. And once again, I did nothing. I realize now that by growing up like this, without any love, he could have become exactly like Tom Riddle, who had been better treated in his orphanage than Harry was by his relatives.

You may ask yourself how I became more aware of the errors in my judgment. The first blow against my armor of self-delusion and self-confidence was Cedric Diggory's death. I realized that « binding magical contract » or not, I should have stopped the Triwizard Tournament when I realized that a Death Eater had infiltrated Hogwarts. But I didn't, because I hoped that Voldemort would make his move, thus convincing everyone that he was back. Always the « for the Greater Good ». And it cost that boy his life.

The final straw was Sirius's death. This time, my responsibility in it came less from a calculated choice than from unforgivable carelessness. In spite of what I said to Harry in a last attempt to defend my choices in my own eyes, being nicer to Kreacher wouldn't have changed anything. He was too deeply attached to the Black tradition. I knew that this house elf was potentially dangerous. I knew his long association to the Black family and to Regulus Black, a Death Eater, and I should have made sure he was properly questioned and controlled. Instead of that, I left him under Sirius's responsibility, knowing perfectly well what his mental stability and emotional state could be after twelve years in Azkaban, especially when locked up in a house he had every reason to hate, away from the fight all his friends were involved in.

The shock of his death, after such an unfairly broken, ruined life, the sight of Harry's devastation, his string of bitter reproaches, shook me at last from my self-complacency. I saw myself for what I am. A delusional old man, consumed by a thirst of power hidden behind a pretense of detached research of the common good. A man who has manipulated people who trusted him, who has played with their lives as if they were pawns on a chessboard. And who has lost many times, at the cost of lives other than his.

But this is the end of it. I've decided to play a gambit at my own expense this time. And this time, I hope it will be really, at last, for the « Greater Good », even if I won't be there to see it.

I hope as well that one day you will read this letter to Sirius and Harry, and that they will be able to forgive me. If you find it useful to publish it, in order to clear Sirius's name or for any other reason, please do. The dead don't care about fame, and I misused mine for too long.

My best wishes to all of you for your future.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

What do you think, people, should they publish the letter ?

Nb : A gambit is a chess opening in which a player sacrifices material, usually a pawn, with the hope of achieving a resulting advantageous position.

A big thank you to KnifeFeatheredWings, my Beta reader !